Testing the water....
This topic was created in the Libra forum by Sola on Sunday, January 20, 2008 and has 7 replies.
Hey guys, listen up puhlease and hit me with the truth 
Re prev posts about reconnecting with my ex over this weekend, i would like to tell him already that i want to see him in a serius context. I never forgot him in the duration of the time we lost contact, and never had any bad feeling towrds him either so i feel comfortable with the idea. When he came round he was talking about stuff we?d said/done tht even i?d forgotten and he remembered stuff about my work, my family etc which is sweet i guess.
Anyway, do you think its too soon?? I do have a nasty habit of jumping in the deep end but maybe because i always think that if you?re nt fast you?re last?!!!! Anyway, i know he works a lot and i dont want to pressure him of course, so how can i subtley drop it onto conversation?? Thanks for listening!!
Re prev posts about reconnecting with my ex over this weekend, i would like to tell him already that i want to see him in a serius context. I never forgot him in the duration of the time we lost contact, and never had any bad feeling towrds him either so i feel comfortable with the idea. When he came round he was talking about stuff we?d said/done tht even i?d forgotten and he remembered stuff about my work, my family etc which is sweet i guess.
Anyway, do you think its too soon?? I do have a nasty habit of jumping in the deep end but maybe because i always think that if you?re nt fast you?re last?!!!! Anyway, i know he works a lot and i dont want to pressure him of course, so how can i subtley drop it onto conversation?? Thanks for listening!!
it sounds like you know what you want. I am in the exact same situation right now, and my approach is that simply, there is no reconnecting in a romantic way unless it is under a serious context. He has to be serious in order for me to do anything with him.
The way I see it is, you've dated him, you've gotten to know him, there isn't any bad blood so the preliminaries are over. You didn't come to the decision lightly, you aren't just jumping into the deep end, you've already tested those waters. Tell him so he knows, so the two of you are on the same page. So in a month from now, he won't be surprised at your feelings for him.
I don't know if it will work, but I do know you need to be clear since you seem to be thinking so clearly.
The way I see it is, you've dated him, you've gotten to know him, there isn't any bad blood so the preliminaries are over. You didn't come to the decision lightly, you aren't just jumping into the deep end, you've already tested those waters. Tell him so he knows, so the two of you are on the same page. So in a month from now, he won't be surprised at your feelings for him.
I don't know if it will work, but I do know you need to be clear since you seem to be thinking so clearly.
I do know what i want, that important because i feel comfortable with him and happy that he appreciates the difficulty in language and culture and that if i stay here i will always have a Scottish heart!!!! I know he?ll be like "wow, back off" but i feel that its important to hint that its not for un this time round. I dont think its unreasonable..what are you doing with yours??
Wow, we are so in the same place. I like my man so much because he challenges me, he's an amazing friend but doesn't let me get away with anything unlike so many men....
I am really unsure how to deal with him. He's been gone for about 5 months, but he's coming home in 3 days and we have set up some time to spend together the night he gets back. I'm going to be patient and see if he makes a move on me. I don't need to be hurt by him, so I'll just try to be my most charming, intelligent, good self I can be. I hope he'll say something and in no uncertain terms I will simply tell him that I want him, but I want to be his girlfriend. I think it's important to make them come to you.
Especially with our history, the way things ended between us last time, and because we've already had 2 go-rounds. Timing is bad, but at some point, I will expect him to make adjustments in regards to his "timing." he comes to me, and before I allow him back, he agrees to be in a relationship, no hinting.
I don't know much of your history, but it's always good to make a man think everything was his idea...
I am really unsure how to deal with him. He's been gone for about 5 months, but he's coming home in 3 days and we have set up some time to spend together the night he gets back. I'm going to be patient and see if he makes a move on me. I don't need to be hurt by him, so I'll just try to be my most charming, intelligent, good self I can be. I hope he'll say something and in no uncertain terms I will simply tell him that I want him, but I want to be his girlfriend. I think it's important to make them come to you.
Especially with our history, the way things ended between us last time, and because we've already had 2 go-rounds. Timing is bad, but at some point, I will expect him to make adjustments in regards to his "timing." he comes to me, and before I allow him back, he agrees to be in a relationship, no hinting.
I don't know much of your history, but it's always good to make a man think everything was his idea...
That's funny Sola! My x-librabf remembered a lot of the memories we shared too. I thought we were going to get back together, but we didn't. He said he still felt a lot emotions for me..whatever that means. OH well... I'm over him. I just thought it was kinda funny when I was in that situation a few months ago.
I havent seen him at all this week because he was working in a city 4hours from here Monday through Friday and he has had the flu 
We have been txting a little (me being the initiator) but he hasnt asked me to meet him. So, im a bit annoyed. When we met last week he was all excited like a puppy and now i dont know what to think. Nothing right now. He?s got my number.
Grrrr, i need to get strong.
We have been txting a little (me being the initiator) but he hasnt asked me to meet him. So, im a bit annoyed. When we met last week he was all excited like a puppy and now i dont know what to think. Nothing right now. He?s got my number.Grrrr, i need to get strong.
He?s libra too..1st October 1981.
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