The apology and patience
This topic was created in the Libra forum by phoenixblaze26 on Friday, April 25, 2008 and has 8 replies.
So Previously on this wall i had made a post, a very angry one at that. I felt insulted, betrayed, and started seriously questioning my friendship. So i take this time to apologize those those who felt and thought i was attacking all libra's. It wasn't that i truly wanted to attack all libra's (i actually have at least 7 closest libra's in my life including my bf). I do truly enjoy the company of the libra's in my life, but one inparticular i felt had in the best words i can muster had 'shot through the heart'. More than anything with my entry i wanted to gain some knowledge as to why she might do this, so even though some of the feedback was brutal, i listened (or read) and waited out the circumstances. I do greatly appreciate the advice given and anyone having previous history of seeing such things, it definitely gave me great insite.
Now as to the situation. At the begining of the week i had been 'shot through the heart', and because i am a fairly patient person i decided to calm down, relax and not go crazy yelling at her as to why i was upset. That i already knew would be classless and pointless, from my experience with any libra...yelling... doesnt get anything done. So i wait and wait... and wait some more, still no call back from the libra. I find it rather odd... but then again its in her nature (not libra's just hers) to just disappear like that. like little sparrow said...u cant change ur friend, which is why i just waited.
I've been thinking things through weighting out our friendship and then started remembering many past instances of similar habit. i became annoyed irritated and upset all over again. finally last night or afternoon... I get home from a long day of work, still havnt beat out my frustrations at the gym (as mentioned by arianlatay). But since her message this monday i had mailed my bf that i would rather boycott my birthday (since im getting older who cares right?). I got his letter yesturday in which he said how i shouldnt and how regardless what happens things will work itself out. So last night I put on my game face and said to my sister 'we're celebrating my birthday'. So maning the phones and setting up orders we called every one in my cell phone and everyone between friends to come to dinner and then an after party at my place to bring in the birthday. No point staying home crying right?
Now as to the situation. At the begining of the week i had been 'shot through the heart', and because i am a fairly patient person i decided to calm down, relax and not go crazy yelling at her as to why i was upset. That i already knew would be classless and pointless, from my experience with any libra...yelling... doesnt get anything done. So i wait and wait... and wait some more, still no call back from the libra. I find it rather odd... but then again its in her nature (not libra's just hers) to just disappear like that. like little sparrow said...u cant change ur friend, which is why i just waited.
I've been thinking things through weighting out our friendship and then started remembering many past instances of similar habit. i became annoyed irritated and upset all over again. finally last night or afternoon... I get home from a long day of work, still havnt beat out my frustrations at the gym (as mentioned by arianlatay). But since her message this monday i had mailed my bf that i would rather boycott my birthday (since im getting older who cares right?). I got his letter yesturday in which he said how i shouldnt and how regardless what happens things will work itself out. So last night I put on my game face and said to my sister 'we're celebrating my birthday'. So maning the phones and setting up orders we called every one in my cell phone and everyone between friends to come to dinner and then an after party at my place to bring in the birthday. No point staying home crying right?
So got home last night and started seriously planning and my sister and i called everyone in my cell phone along with everyone i've ever met. got a missed phone call from libra's bf.
now it gets interesting.. i get informed that the libra was planning a surprise party a week after my birthday, because 2 ppl couldnt show. she contacted my cloest the previous night along with my sister yesterday afternoon. 3 libras, 1 leo, 2 cancers, 1 pisces and my capricorn sis all informed her it was not only a bad idea how she went about it, but that i was still emotionally hurt. My sister has a very calculated mind and started thinking 'why does this seem fishy'? why would she plan this days after the txt rather than that day? why did she not ask how i would respond to such a shot?
a lot of questions went through my mind, a lot more than need be. continued planning my party, didn't wanna think about it since 'i wasnt supposed to know'. finally i get a vm, she yells, screams, and states my 'friend' is her 'bf' and therefore if i have a problem come to her. now i havent been avoiding her, maybe a bit of holding from flipping out at her, and i asked her bf simply 'what was she thinking!?', and he decided to tell her to call me. i told him exactly what i wanted, an apology. honestly i didnt see the point in that txt if she wanted to plan something she didnt have to attack me with something she knows is important.
So after i listen to her vm, i call her. she rants and raves, about how i wasnt supposed to kno and how she was trying to get me off her trail from knowing.
To make it short, a long arguement went on about everything dating back in history to blaming my pisces friend for why im mad at her. i 'attempted' getting in this arguement... which didnt happen considering she wanted to continue on...
long story shorter, she cursed out each person who told me, broke up with her bf on a whim and still never once apologized for the txt. I'm still confused as to what just happened and why the huge drama fest and why shes cursing everyone out. i didnt see the point in blaming others nor did i see the point in yelling at me. and considering i didnt get a word in the entire call i almost saw completely no point in the conversation. I'm not sure if i feel more hurt, confused, or anything besides yea lost would be the word. i cheered up my pisces friend, she still feels to blame. this might sound harsh, maybe rude, but what did i miss?
now it gets interesting.. i get informed that the libra was planning a surprise party a week after my birthday, because 2 ppl couldnt show. she contacted my cloest the previous night along with my sister yesterday afternoon. 3 libras, 1 leo, 2 cancers, 1 pisces and my capricorn sis all informed her it was not only a bad idea how she went about it, but that i was still emotionally hurt. My sister has a very calculated mind and started thinking 'why does this seem fishy'? why would she plan this days after the txt rather than that day? why did she not ask how i would respond to such a shot?
a lot of questions went through my mind, a lot more than need be. continued planning my party, didn't wanna think about it since 'i wasnt supposed to know'. finally i get a vm, she yells, screams, and states my 'friend' is her 'bf' and therefore if i have a problem come to her. now i havent been avoiding her, maybe a bit of holding from flipping out at her, and i asked her bf simply 'what was she thinking!?', and he decided to tell her to call me. i told him exactly what i wanted, an apology. honestly i didnt see the point in that txt if she wanted to plan something she didnt have to attack me with something she knows is important.
So after i listen to her vm, i call her. she rants and raves, about how i wasnt supposed to kno and how she was trying to get me off her trail from knowing.
To make it short, a long arguement went on about everything dating back in history to blaming my pisces friend for why im mad at her. i 'attempted' getting in this arguement... which didnt happen considering she wanted to continue on...
long story shorter, she cursed out each person who told me, broke up with her bf on a whim and still never once apologized for the txt. I'm still confused as to what just happened and why the huge drama fest and why shes cursing everyone out. i didnt see the point in blaming others nor did i see the point in yelling at me. and considering i didnt get a word in the entire call i almost saw completely no point in the conversation. I'm not sure if i feel more hurt, confused, or anything besides yea lost would be the word. i cheered up my pisces friend, she still feels to blame. this might sound harsh, maybe rude, but what did i miss?
I hid my other comment because it was posted before I read your second part there...
IMHO, your friend is unbalanced right now. She is feeling the pull/push between you and her bf, and there is pressure to maintain both relationships. Her idea of a surprise party for you was probably a geniuine, after-the-fact, idea she came up with to try to smooth things over and rectify the situation. Your reaction to finding out was less than appreciative, and so now, she feels free to turn the anger toward you.
I may be reading it wrong. I want to be clear, I don't think you're to blame or that you've done anything, at this point anyway, that is unfair or mean...I think she is out of control with her emotions right now, really. I've been in this situation before, esp. when I was younger. I don't know if it a libra trait per se, but she is definitely blowing it out of proportion.
But the thing is, it's funny, because you were very worked up about it and even though you didn't let her know, it is very likely she perceived these emotions on your end. Does that make any sense? I feel I usually know when something is amiss and will extend some form of peacemaking, like her surprise party, to rectify any hurt feelings.
Just try not to take her outburst too literally or personally. She is working things out in her head, but out-loud. You chose to keep it inside on behalf of no confrontation (another trait my taurus friend had, too). Let it simmer, I believe she will come to you in a few days much calmer and more balanced. She might get back together with the bf, too, as it seems a symptom of these greater problems.
IMHO, your friend is unbalanced right now. She is feeling the pull/push between you and her bf, and there is pressure to maintain both relationships. Her idea of a surprise party for you was probably a geniuine, after-the-fact, idea she came up with to try to smooth things over and rectify the situation. Your reaction to finding out was less than appreciative, and so now, she feels free to turn the anger toward you.
I may be reading it wrong. I want to be clear, I don't think you're to blame or that you've done anything, at this point anyway, that is unfair or mean...I think she is out of control with her emotions right now, really. I've been in this situation before, esp. when I was younger. I don't know if it a libra trait per se, but she is definitely blowing it out of proportion.
But the thing is, it's funny, because you were very worked up about it and even though you didn't let her know, it is very likely she perceived these emotions on your end. Does that make any sense? I feel I usually know when something is amiss and will extend some form of peacemaking, like her surprise party, to rectify any hurt feelings.
Just try not to take her outburst too literally or personally. She is working things out in her head, but out-loud. You chose to keep it inside on behalf of no confrontation (another trait my taurus friend had, too). Let it simmer, I believe she will come to you in a few days much calmer and more balanced. She might get back together with the bf, too, as it seems a symptom of these greater problems.
Thank you muse.
Yea this time around i wanted to come off clearer, because last post i made came out of emotional rage rather than my thoughts. just letting u kno im not a 'no confrontations' person, more like 'well... if thats the way its gonna be then fine'. i figured she had lost her mind or something of that sort therefore by yesterday i just finally said i need to not mope. inner complaints and issues that have been there forever apparently within her came out full power last night. i was kinda shocked and more confused than anything. it's kinda like we've had an arguement waiting for us under the surface and its not a win or lose confrontation. its just a lot of stuff she doesnt understand and apparently things we havent said for whatever reason.
i called her bf this morning, they got back together which im glad for. i think shes going through some emotional stress i cant see say her intentions were for good or bad, or whether it was to get back into my good side. my sis says shes always been like this, and maybe i try to always see the good. im not trying to say im a saint, thats a fact i kno to be false. I'm just at a loss for words, one min it was just me being pissed at her for being an idiot, next min its her screaming at everyone i know. i've known her for yrs and thats like a complete first, shes possably one of the calmest women i know. shit im the one whos usually 'battle on xena' kinda mode, not her.
I'm not sure if our friendships 100% done or if its more like a huge argument, what i do kno is that shes not thinking clearly and with that shes become irrational. can u tell me more about that libra and taurus friendship u mentioned?
Yea this time around i wanted to come off clearer, because last post i made came out of emotional rage rather than my thoughts. just letting u kno im not a 'no confrontations' person, more like 'well... if thats the way its gonna be then fine'. i figured she had lost her mind or something of that sort therefore by yesterday i just finally said i need to not mope. inner complaints and issues that have been there forever apparently within her came out full power last night. i was kinda shocked and more confused than anything. it's kinda like we've had an arguement waiting for us under the surface and its not a win or lose confrontation. its just a lot of stuff she doesnt understand and apparently things we havent said for whatever reason.
i called her bf this morning, they got back together which im glad for. i think shes going through some emotional stress i cant see say her intentions were for good or bad, or whether it was to get back into my good side. my sis says shes always been like this, and maybe i try to always see the good. im not trying to say im a saint, thats a fact i kno to be false. I'm just at a loss for words, one min it was just me being pissed at her for being an idiot, next min its her screaming at everyone i know. i've known her for yrs and thats like a complete first, shes possably one of the calmest women i know. shit im the one whos usually 'battle on xena' kinda mode, not her.
I'm not sure if our friendships 100% done or if its more like a huge argument, what i do kno is that shes not thinking clearly and with that shes become irrational. can u tell me more about that libra and taurus friendship u mentioned?
actually how old are u? 16 or 17?
yes libran i know what u are probably thinking. adults dont or shouldn't have these arguements, therefore i couldnt be an adult. sadly this is where it ended up, a minor detail turned major, and a explosive ending. childish i heard and know, but there's no changing for whatevers been done and said. two stubborn people and possably both very confused.
You said: "what i do kno is that shes not thinking clearly and with that shes become irrational." Excuse me if this sounds rude but I can Totally see why! Reading this post & your last one has me completely confused. There are so many contradictions that I can't keep up. You say you wanted her to have a nice boyfriend(Your friend) so you try to hook them up but before doing that you give both of them negative info about eachother? makes no sence! She asked you all month what the plan was for your birthday & you gave no definative answer, so you get pissed when she makes other plans. Which brings me to this question... You said you were having a party at your house so that she could attend, then you say that you intercepted a txt talking about taking her bf to a amusement park on that day, then you say her bf will be at your party, then you say she wouldn't be able to come to your party cuz she'd be at the park all day with him & she had to be home by 10pm? which is it? Will her bf be at your party or at the park with her? my head is spinning & there were soooooo many more things I didn't understand that I could go on & on BUT I won't! I'll leave you with this, re-read your posts & REALLY think about what you've said I think your just as much to blame if not a lil more & after that, do the rational thing, think with your head & end this insane friendship, instead of looking/waiting for her apology. 
Thinktank, its quite obvious from her posts that her libra friend is a very normal caring type and not someone like she tried to portray. Phoenix is just screwed up emotionally to figure that out and messing things up for everyone.
Related Topics
ok they say scorpio is the sign related to sex blah blah. this post is about the dirty details of your awakening and
@deuxantares
Joined: Nov 02, 2006 · Topics: 4 · Posts: 47
I met a Leo guy awhile back and pretty much instantly we connected. I could tell he was into me when we had only known e
@Sparkles
Joined: Apr 25, 2008 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 1
What signs should I look for? I sense that he is interested when I see him (at work -- we work at different locations s
@capris
Joined: Jan 15, 2008 · Topics: 50 · Posts: 343
I don't know if this is a scorp woman thing or an individual thing, but I have had girlfriends of exes even a wife of an
@Queenscorpio
Joined: Aug 11, 2006 · Topics: 77 · Posts: 5176
The joining of canada, america, mexico, and south america???? 'President Bush is pursuing a globalist agenda to creat
@angeleyes
Joined: Sep 28, 2007 · Topics: 7 · Posts: 161
I met this guy through a friend. We talked over over the summer but he seemed to be moving to fast for my liking. Things
@preciousGEM
Joined: Mar 11, 2007 · Topics: 8 · Posts: 45
and what makes you worry all the time and whats your zodiac?? Just wondering if there some striking similarities.
@thelibran
Joined: May 23, 2006 · Topics: 117 · Posts: 2604
is the Sag board so lifeless? Come out and playyyyyy.
@brianafay
Joined: Oct 11, 2006 · Topics: 372 · Posts: 30581
have you ever felt like you lost yourself, and then you found yourself like a year (or however much time) later? and the
@scorpio_wreck
Joined: Jun 27, 2006 · Topics: 52 · Posts: 502
@NaughtyNikki
Joined: Jan 08, 2008 · Topics: 2 · Posts: 18