The love you's
This topic was created in the Libra forum by Maygirl on Thursday, May 17, 2007 and has 34 replies.
Okay, everyone, I need some thoughts on what my Libra guy has been saying lately. (Quick up to date: this is a guy I was with when I was younger; we met up again last year; chatted for about five months; now for last 10 months have been intimate.) In the past I've told him that I love his eyes, his body, his hair, etc. About a month ago, while together, I said I loved *a certain body part* of his, and I swear I thought he said "I love you" in response but it was so quiet I wasn't sure. Then about a week ago, we were together again and again I swear I thought I heard him say that. Now, two days ago I was on the phone with him and as we were saying goodbye he said "love ya." This time I know for sure that's what he said.
I have not come out and said "I love you" to him (because, yes, I am a bit afraid of throwing that out there), but I have thought it to myself.
My question, when a Libra guy does start saying the "I love you's" does he really mean it, or is he just throwing them out there? And, how will he feel if I don't say it back to him right away?
I have not come out and said "I love you" to him (because, yes, I am a bit afraid of throwing that out there), but I have thought it to myself.
My question, when a Libra guy does start saying the "I love you's" does he really mean it, or is he just throwing them out there? And, how will he feel if I don't say it back to him right away?
My Libra said it right away and he meant it, I never doubted it, if he's saying it ENJOY IT! LOL! I personally would hold off saying it back, let him chase it out of you *giggling*
ex libra...meant to say
Waiting to say it just to get him to chase you? Play with fire and get burned. Yes he means it. Say it ONLY if you mean it. Don't hold off saying it you feel it yourself.
If you are sure he said, then don't be afraid.
My boyfriend says "I love this" and "I love that"..about me. I do the same. Don't be afraid, especially if you've thought it yourself...just know for sure it's how you feel and it's not the feelings coming after being intimate. Our emotions are tied up in the feeling of the moment.
I thought the same thing once with my boyfriend. We were on the phone and we ended the call and although he said "Seeya", I had to think to myself "What did he just say???" and it made perfect sense he said "Seeya". He can be softspoken on the phone, so that's why I had to think "He didn't just say Loveya, did he?" I've heard him say "LoveYa" to his mom and sister while on the phone, so it threw me off.
Ok, back to you. If you feel it for me, then don't hold back. Hold back too long and he might not feel you reciprocate the feelings.
If you are sure he said, then don't be afraid.
My boyfriend says "I love this" and "I love that"..about me. I do the same. Don't be afraid, especially if you've thought it yourself...just know for sure it's how you feel and it's not the feelings coming after being intimate. Our emotions are tied up in the feeling of the moment.
I thought the same thing once with my boyfriend. We were on the phone and we ended the call and although he said "Seeya", I had to think to myself "What did he just say???" and it made perfect sense he said "Seeya". He can be softspoken on the phone, so that's why I had to think "He didn't just say Loveya, did he?" I've heard him say "LoveYa" to his mom and sister while on the phone, so it threw me off.
Ok, back to you. If you feel it for me, then don't hold back. Hold back too long and he might not feel you reciprocate the feelings.
Thanks Tiki!
I haven't said it back because 1) I wasn't sure I heard him right, and 2) I'm nervous about saying that. I think it brings the relationship up to a whole new level.
When he said "love ya" when getting off the phone (which he had never said before), I was so euphoric and taken aback that I just sat there and smiled silly to myself. And I told him "I'm sitting here smiling like crazy right now." I guess that was my way of telling him I heard what he said and was very happy to hear it. Now whether he understood that or not, I don't know.
So I'm thinking if he says the "I love you" again, I'll respond back this time (unless I'm feeling devilish and then I'll let him "chase it out of me" :-)
I haven't said it back because 1) I wasn't sure I heard him right, and 2) I'm nervous about saying that. I think it brings the relationship up to a whole new level.
When he said "love ya" when getting off the phone (which he had never said before), I was so euphoric and taken aback that I just sat there and smiled silly to myself. And I told him "I'm sitting here smiling like crazy right now." I guess that was my way of telling him I heard what he said and was very happy to hear it. Now whether he understood that or not, I don't know.
So I'm thinking if he says the "I love you" again, I'll respond back this time (unless I'm feeling devilish and then I'll let him "chase it out of me" :-)
HP, that's what I'm worried about. If I don't say it back right away, will he think my feelings are not as strong as his and will he be put off.
I think to myself all the time that I really do love him. He makes me so happy in various ways, but I've held off actually saying "I love you" because that seems to be such a big step. Plus I didn't want to come off as being more into him than he was with me (I am a bit unsure of myself). I've told him I love various things about him, but never the actual "I love you."
That's why I was wondering if Libras say "i love you" casually or if when they say it it really means something to them.
I think to myself all the time that I really do love him. He makes me so happy in various ways, but I've held off actually saying "I love you" because that seems to be such a big step. Plus I didn't want to come off as being more into him than he was with me (I am a bit unsure of myself). I've told him I love various things about him, but never the actual "I love you."
That's why I was wondering if Libras say "i love you" casually or if when they say it it really means something to them.
good luck with that move.
No, it's not a casual thing. Mine has not said it to me, but he does and says things that show me he's that much closer to saying it.
Ok, instead of saying "I Love You", then share with him how he makes you smile, makes you happy, etc.
He'll get the point that you're getting close, too.
Ok, instead of saying "I Love You", then share with him how he makes you smile, makes you happy, etc.
He'll get the point that you're getting close, too.
The day after the phone call (when he ended by saying "love ya"), I left a message on his voice mail saying "I just wanted to tell you that you make me very happy. I love spending time with you and I miss you when we can't be together." (we were supposed to get together that day, but he had to cancel). In my mind, that was being more open/serious than I had before. I was trying to show him how much he means to me. I hope he understood it to mean that (and, of course, I hope he doesn't think that was too pushy--I'm always worried about that).
When my Libra (ex) said I love you, initially I didn't say a word because it was the 3rd date maybe the 2nd its been years, I'm a little foggy but when I didn't say it back he sulked and pouted, at first I didn't know if he was for real but when I saw his eyes and the sparkle was gone, I caved in, I just wanted to make sure he was serious and he was, so he made me feel safe enough to say it back to him, if your libra isn't pushing for you to say it back and he seems okay with that then take your time, he's confident that he will wear you down so let him have at it. LOL
He hasn't asked me to say "i love you" but it does seem like he's saying it more. Like I said, first time was about a month ago, then a week or so ago, and then just this week. I notice he has also been saying more things like "you look so beautiful." I guess I'm just worried that he really means it and is not just saying those things.
OH he means it! Trust me (:
now will it sustain thats only to be forseen so enjoy every second of it.
now will it sustain thats only to be forseen so enjoy every second of it.
Well that certainly makes me happy! I planned on calling him this afternoon, so we'll see how it goes.
He is SO wonderful!
He is SO wonderful!
I found this on another site:
"So many acts and expressions of love go unnoticed and unfelt, because we simply get used to them, or are too busy to stop and take note, or to stop and say thank you. Take a few minutes to note everything, like phone calls, kind words, a surprise visit, etc. It will be amazing to you to realize all the ways your partner is giving to you."
When you think of it that way, your guy is really showing he loves you. The surprise visits, the phone calls when I least expect it, the sentiments that come out the blue. I think we don't always stop to add all these up.
"So many acts and expressions of love go unnoticed and unfelt, because we simply get used to them, or are too busy to stop and take note, or to stop and say thank you. Take a few minutes to note everything, like phone calls, kind words, a surprise visit, etc. It will be amazing to you to realize all the ways your partner is giving to you."
When you think of it that way, your guy is really showing he loves you. The surprise visits, the phone calls when I least expect it, the sentiments that come out the blue. I think we don't always stop to add all these up.
As regards love relationships (not great friendships):
I have never said I love you unsolicited. When I did say it it felt forced but I did not want to disappoint the other. It's an emotion that I don't feel easily - what does it feel like anyway?
I have said 'I Am In Love With You' through written text (mobile phone), oh and once to someone's face although we were not looking each other in the eye.
I will never say I love you unless there is a reason, never because I just felt like it.
So it is dead serious, and I would think we convey it when there is reason to e.g. it's time you knew or perhaps your partners were perhaps afraid of losing you.
I have never said I love you unsolicited. When I did say it it felt forced but I did not want to disappoint the other. It's an emotion that I don't feel easily - what does it feel like anyway?
I have said 'I Am In Love With You' through written text (mobile phone), oh and once to someone's face although we were not looking each other in the eye.
I will never say I love you unless there is a reason, never because I just felt like it.
So it is dead serious, and I would think we convey it when there is reason to e.g. it's time you knew or perhaps your partners were perhaps afraid of losing you.
Thanks everyone. Your comments were very encouraging. I know some people just throw out the "I love you's" like they're nothing, so it's good to know that he must mean it. (Plus, it's been more than a year now that we've been back in each other's lives, and he's only just started saying them, so it's not like he was saying them right away.)
Libra, would you be worried if you told someone you loved them and that person didn't say it back right away?
Libra, would you be worried if you told someone you loved them and that person didn't say it back right away?
My thoughts are if you truly love someone, you should tell 'em.....period. If the person doesn't say it back, that's fine. The person that says it should mean it and if they don't feel that way they shouldn't say it. Knowing how your partner feel is important.
Just my 43 1/2 cents.
Just my 43 1/2 cents.
Libran males only say "I love you" when they mean it, in my experience, if they don't they just don't say it.
If you love him tell him. They like to know their partner feels the same. But, being a scorp we say it whenever we feel it, whether they have or not, but we do wait until we are sure that they do love us before we say it, knowing sometimes they like to be reassured before they verbalize their true feelings, other times they just do... Depends on the partner.
Playing the "what if" game never seems to help anything though.
If you love him tell him. They like to know their partner feels the same. But, being a scorp we say it whenever we feel it, whether they have or not, but we do wait until we are sure that they do love us before we say it, knowing sometimes they like to be reassured before they verbalize their true feelings, other times they just do... Depends on the partner.
Playing the "what if" game never seems to help anything though.
I'm 95% sure I want to tell him that I love him back but I'm just a little nervous about putting it out there. I want to be sure of it a bit more (boy, I sound like a Libra myself!) I just don't want him to feel rejected because he said it to me but I haven't said it back yet.
What 5% makes you feel like you aren't.
That maybe it's too soon, that "loving someone" is much more intense than what we have (is it really love? do I really know this? is this how love is supposed to be), does he really feel the same way or am I setting myself up for some rejection. I don't know. I guess I'm having a bit of self-esteem issues.
I think to myself he is so wonderful, and I love being with him, and I've told him I love all sorts of things about him, and I've said to myself that I really do love him, and I smile to myself when I think of him. I guess I'm just afraid of being too vulnerable.
BUT, you all convinced me that next time he says it, as long as I am feeling strongly as well, I'm going to just be brave and tell him how I feel.
I think to myself he is so wonderful, and I love being with him, and I've told him I love all sorts of things about him, and I've said to myself that I really do love him, and I smile to myself when I think of him. I guess I'm just afraid of being too vulnerable.
BUT, you all convinced me that next time he says it, as long as I am feeling strongly as well, I'm going to just be brave and tell him how I feel.
Damn you geminis, almost as indecisive as a libra can be. You know in your gutt if you do and if you feel it let him know.
Yay, say it next time.
How many times I have to say this? Libras are not indecisive! 
And Gems don't have multiple personalities! :-)
Gems do have multiple personalities though...LOL. Think about it. Each pesonality does not know the other, hence, each thinks its the only one....LOL. j/k
Gems do have multiple personalities though...LOL. Think about it. Each pesonality does not know the other, hence, each thinks its the only one....LOL. j/k
ROTFL!! Man that has a ring of truth in that statement
ROTFL!! Man that has a ring of truth in that statement
Haha. I always say we don't have multiple personalities, we just like to change our minds a lot!
Does any Scorp experience that - changing minds alot ? I know I am !lol ! Maybe that's because when I m not sure about the other person , like Maygirl said ""loving someone" is much more intense than what we have (is it really love? do I really know this? is this how love is supposed to be)"
Maybe I adopted some of Gemini traits from my dear mom ! lol!
Maybe I adopted some of Gemini traits from my dear mom ! lol!
"When I did say it it felt forced but I did not want to disappoint the other."
I suppose I tend to be more like QS (surprise, surprise, LOL), in that if I feel that I love someone I generally do not fear telling the other person. That being said, I will hold off sometimes, perhaps like QS stated. When I tell someone I love them, it is because that is what I feel and it is a beautiful, wonderful feeling that truly warms my soul. And, the person that I love gave that feeling to me. When I tell someone that I love them, it is because I want to share with them how much joy they bring into my life. But, I also know that many people seem to think that it is supposed to be reciprocated and could feel forced into saying it, not that they necessarily don't feel it back. Even people that feel it back enjoy the freedom of saying it when and how they choose. If I feel like saying it but don't, it is generally because of this. My intention is not to make the person that I love feel uncomfortable or feel forced to say it back, but to just share with them the happiness that they give me, and those feelings are generally not compatible. If I wait, it is to wait until the person understands me enough to comprehend this or I feel the relationship has developed to point that the person would not feel forced into reciprocating it.
"It's an emotion that I don't feel easily - what does it feel like anyway?"
If have no idea, and yet I do... I think that it is like most things in my life. I know when things feel right, and I know when they don't. When I feel love, I just know. I can feel joy and happiness and peace and contentment and excitement all at the same time. It consumes me, excites me, and yet calms me. I can feel it filling my heart, my mind, my fingertips, and my soul. I don't know, I just know...
"I will never say I love you unless there is a reason, never because I just felt like it."
But, is not "feeling like it" a reason, too? Do you not eat because you feel hungry or drink because you feel thristy?
I suppose I tend to be more like QS (surprise, surprise, LOL), in that if I feel that I love someone I generally do not fear telling the other person. That being said, I will hold off sometimes, perhaps like QS stated. When I tell someone I love them, it is because that is what I feel and it is a beautiful, wonderful feeling that truly warms my soul. And, the person that I love gave that feeling to me. When I tell someone that I love them, it is because I want to share with them how much joy they bring into my life. But, I also know that many people seem to think that it is supposed to be reciprocated and could feel forced into saying it, not that they necessarily don't feel it back. Even people that feel it back enjoy the freedom of saying it when and how they choose. If I feel like saying it but don't, it is generally because of this. My intention is not to make the person that I love feel uncomfortable or feel forced to say it back, but to just share with them the happiness that they give me, and those feelings are generally not compatible. If I wait, it is to wait until the person understands me enough to comprehend this or I feel the relationship has developed to point that the person would not feel forced into reciprocating it.
"It's an emotion that I don't feel easily - what does it feel like anyway?"
If have no idea, and yet I do... I think that it is like most things in my life. I know when things feel right, and I know when they don't. When I feel love, I just know. I can feel joy and happiness and peace and contentment and excitement all at the same time. It consumes me, excites me, and yet calms me. I can feel it filling my heart, my mind, my fingertips, and my soul. I don't know, I just know...
"I will never say I love you unless there is a reason, never because I just felt like it."
But, is not "feeling like it" a reason, too? Do you not eat because you feel hungry or drink because you feel thristy?
"Does any Scorp experience that - changing minds alot ?"
I do, sometimes. It depends. If I am not quite sure I am feeling it, then I like to keep my options open before setting myself out on a one-way trip. I have read many sites that talk about the Scorp "all or nothing" attitude, and I can see that in my personality a lot, but also not... I know that I tend to throw everything I have into something that I commit myself to, so I like to be cautious about committing myself to something, to ensure that I will have no reason to regret making such a commitment at a later time.
But, I do have a Gemini moon (and a buttload of Sag), so perhaps that is where I get it from. What are your other planets like? Maybe you have a lot of mutable signs?
"like Maygirl said ""loving someone" is much more intense than what we have (is it really love? do I really know this? is this how love is supposed to be)"
Hmmm, I always thought it was my Scorp sun that made me ask weird questions like that, but perhaps it is my Gem moon? That being said, while I have asked those questions of myself objectively, I find that when I do feel them I have very little questions. They are what they are and just embrace them and see where they take you... Does the answer really make that much of a difference? Will you act differently or be different if it does fit the objective definition of love or doesn't?
Personally, I believe that if you feel like saying it, then say it. If you don't or are not quite ready, then don't. Don't try to overthink it, just try to enjoy it, whatever it is. Overthinking it can take a lot of the fun out of it (for either possibility, i.e. - am I there yet or am I not?).
Other people might disagree, but that is how I feel...
I do, sometimes. It depends. If I am not quite sure I am feeling it, then I like to keep my options open before setting myself out on a one-way trip. I have read many sites that talk about the Scorp "all or nothing" attitude, and I can see that in my personality a lot, but also not... I know that I tend to throw everything I have into something that I commit myself to, so I like to be cautious about committing myself to something, to ensure that I will have no reason to regret making such a commitment at a later time.
But, I do have a Gemini moon (and a buttload of Sag), so perhaps that is where I get it from. What are your other planets like? Maybe you have a lot of mutable signs?
"like Maygirl said ""loving someone" is much more intense than what we have (is it really love? do I really know this? is this how love is supposed to be)"
Hmmm, I always thought it was my Scorp sun that made me ask weird questions like that, but perhaps it is my Gem moon? That being said, while I have asked those questions of myself objectively, I find that when I do feel them I have very little questions. They are what they are and just embrace them and see where they take you... Does the answer really make that much of a difference? Will you act differently or be different if it does fit the objective definition of love or doesn't?
Personally, I believe that if you feel like saying it, then say it. If you don't or are not quite ready, then don't. Don't try to overthink it, just try to enjoy it, whatever it is. Overthinking it can take a lot of the fun out of it (for either possibility, i.e. - am I there yet or am I not?).
Other people might disagree, but that is how I feel...
Alcheme, I love what you said here:
"When I tell someone I love them, it is because that is what I feel and it is a beautiful, wonderful feeling that truly warms my soul. And, the person that I love gave that feeling to me. When I tell someone that I love them, it is because I want to share with them how much joy they bring into my life."
It made me all warm and fuzzy just thinking of it! And then thinking that that maybe how my guy is feeling just makes me want to run over their and give him the biggest bear hug.
Now I can't wait until the next time we're together so I can reciprocate.
"When I tell someone I love them, it is because that is what I feel and it is a beautiful, wonderful feeling that truly warms my soul. And, the person that I love gave that feeling to me. When I tell someone that I love them, it is because I want to share with them how much joy they bring into my life."
It made me all warm and fuzzy just thinking of it! And then thinking that that maybe how my guy is feeling just makes me want to run over their and give him the biggest bear hug.
Now I can't wait until the next time we're together so I can reciprocate.
Anything to do with my descendant in Gemini ? - lots of Scorp though
Sun Scorpio 10?19'30 in house 11
Moon Scorpio 21?21'22 in house 12
Mercury Scorpio 29?07'11 in house 12
Venus Scorpio 14?08'02 in house 11
Mars Aquarius 14?51'54 end of house 2
Jupiter Pisces 13?01'03 in house 3
Saturn Sagittarius 8?33'23 in house 12
Uranus Sagittarius 20?10'30 in house 1
Neptune Capricorn 3?41'16 in house 1
Pluto Scorpio 7?24'57 in house 11
True Node Aries 20?51'19 in house 5
HOUSE POSITIONS (Placidus)
Ascendant Sagittarius 15?25'41
2nd House Capricorn 14?27'22
3rd House Aquarius 15?12'19
Imum Coeli Pisces 17?44'45
5th House Aries 19?45'22
6th House Taurus 18?54'11
Descendant Gemini 15?25'41
8th House Cancer 14?27'22
9th House Leo 15?12'19
Medium Coeli Virgo 17?44'45
11th House Libra 19?45'22
12th House Scorpio 18?54'11
Sun Scorpio 10?19'30 in house 11
Moon Scorpio 21?21'22 in house 12
Mercury Scorpio 29?07'11 in house 12
Venus Scorpio 14?08'02 in house 11
Mars Aquarius 14?51'54 end of house 2
Jupiter Pisces 13?01'03 in house 3
Saturn Sagittarius 8?33'23 in house 12
Uranus Sagittarius 20?10'30 in house 1
Neptune Capricorn 3?41'16 in house 1
Pluto Scorpio 7?24'57 in house 11
True Node Aries 20?51'19 in house 5
HOUSE POSITIONS (Placidus)
Ascendant Sagittarius 15?25'41
2nd House Capricorn 14?27'22
3rd House Aquarius 15?12'19
Imum Coeli Pisces 17?44'45
5th House Aries 19?45'22
6th House Taurus 18?54'11
Descendant Gemini 15?25'41
8th House Cancer 14?27'22
9th House Leo 15?12'19
Medium Coeli Virgo 17?44'45
11th House Libra 19?45'22
12th House Scorpio 18?54'11
Ahhh, Alcheme, just like a scorp to fix a love problem... Hehehe....
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