Timeframe for Gifts

I've been dating someone for a little over 3 months. My birthday is coming up at the end of this month.

Is 3 months a timeframe for which I should "expect" a bday gift from him?

If I don't get a bday gift from him, is that a bad thing?

We have gotten pretty close in quite a few aspects and we have even made plans for future dates (my class reunion, memorial day weekend, possibly Europe in september, etc.), but he hasn't asked me about the weekend before my birthday.

HP, your Libra does not want to tresspass. He will not so easily cross the 50/50 line, aware of your privacy etc. You are free to suggest something. He'll like it, he's in love with you.

hmm, not understanding what you mean by him not wanting trespass.

i've dropped hints about going to the museum, told him a few times that i'd really like an iPod, things like that...he knows some things that i like.

my main question here is should i be upset if i don't get a gift after as close as we've become?

By trespassing I mean, it's your day and it is up to you how you wish to spend it. So it's for you to come forward on how you wish to spend it. He won't claim you because we cannot claim.

As regards the present, the riskier the situation the more we hit inertia because we don't want to make a mistake and get it wrong.

We may not buy an expensive present however because a) effort and originality is what needs to be noticed and b) the sky's the limit but we do not want to show off by making it expensive. It's too easy.

Saying what you want may not work because he can not throw in any creativity or originality. If you don't get what you mentioned that is a good thing - because of the originality/creativity aspect e.g. he wanted to put thinking into it.

If he buys you nothing - it does not mean he is not in love or is in love. He just hit inertia and then he got lost the momentum.

Ummmm... Hmmmm...

I can see the not wanting to over step his bounds, a bit. But, considering he has been monopolising your time for atleast the past two months (not that it is a bad thing), I am not quite sure that would apply. And, considering his is in love, and has been hinting at that fact, and am veering towards he will do / get you something...

Gut reaction, he has made tentative (or perhaps not tentative) plans with you all the way in September, yet he is not responding to your birthday comments / hints. He maybe planning a surprise for you for your birthday. As Libra said, creativity and originality...

That being said, I would have to agree with the "saying want you want" comment that Libra made. I LOVE giving gifts, and part of the fun is "finding" that perfect gift, not just getting what they tell you they want. To buy what they say they want takes all of 15 minutes. To take the time to find the perfect gift is a gift in and of itself.

BUT, with his tendency to have you pay for your "half" of everything, even for his suggested adventures, who knows... Then again, maybe he has been saving his money for your surprise. As I said, taking that aspect into account, who knows... But, ignoring that, I would say more than likely expect something (surprise or otherwise)...

But, this is coming from a Scorp... Haha! I would get someone I was dating for a couple of weeks something for their birthday. Perhaps not something as special as someone I had been dating for three months, but something. And three months?!? Well, I am a Scorp... LOL! Libras are a bit harder to figure out, but I am getting there.

yeah the money thing cracks me up. he came over last night and i was craving ice cream so we went to a drive-thru near my house. he got ice cream, too. When I pulled out my debit card, he said "I got this. It's not that expensive."

I wanted to just tell him that it would have been perfectly OK if he would have just said he got it and not add that it wasn't that expensive. At least now I know I'm worth at least $ 2!

"yeah the money thing cracks me up. he came over last night and i was craving ice cream so we went to a drive-thru near my house. he got ice cream, too. When I pulled out my debit card, he said "I got this. It's not that expensive."

I wanted to just tell him that it would have been perfectly OK if he would have just said he got it and not add that it wasn't that expensive. At least now I know I'm worth at least $ 2!"

Hrmmm... Maybe this is an example of Libra's comment about trepassing. Maybe he thinks that women like their financial independence, like Aquabrat mentioned in another thread. Obviously if he said it, he meant for you to not feel bad about him paying for it, perhaps meaning not feeling bad about you "owing" him (from your perspective, not necessarily from his). It is possible the majority of women that he is used to would find it offensive if he tried to pay for everything / most things, and doesn't realise that you would not and might appreciate it...

Libra is quite happy to pay in general unless we notice that WE are the paying party CONTINUOUSLY. Then we pull back a little. I have done that e.g. time to educate - see if he gets it without having to say anything.

If he's not rich right now and as a result conscious of how he spends his money at the moment then he seems sensible and VERY DIRECT and OPEN in saying I'll get this one, it's not that expensive.

If you earn more than he does, he will be VERY aware of this.

I have no idea whether this is applicable to your and your Libra's situation and forgive me if I have made assumptions but money matters are always complicated. Tread carfefully.

it's not applicable. he makes almost double than what i earn.

i had another concern somewhere on here that i didn't know how to approach financial issues I have right now because they always cause arguments.

Well in that case he is doing it for you indeed. To not put you in an owing position, even if it was just in your head. But equally we're always educating. I don't like us!

Well, if I was fed with those comments (I would not like the comments) I would quote him once, make this obvious e.g. he knows you repeating his words for him to realise how silly it really sounds.

OR, make a date wallet where you both add an equal amount and live off when you're together.

OR have that chat. But if you do, make sure it's about nothing else. NOTHING...

"it's not applicable. he makes almost double than what i earn."

Yeah, I remember that. Libra, it was detailed in the "The Latest and Greatest - Update" thread.

Maybe, seeing as Libras are about fairness, he is trying to keep things fair. Not in amount paid, but in status in the relationship. Okay, he makes much more than you... If he paid for everything, he may be thinking that you would feel like you have "less" of a "status" in the relationship than he does?!? Again, going on the independence issue...

I don't know, I would still talk to him about it. That is the only way you will know what is going on. But, then again, I did like the way Nic suggested (no, I am not biased)... It seemed laid back and easy, not like something that would cause an argument and, if that is what you fear, a good solution.

I guess the other thing you can do is ignore the matter and happily spend on him, pay for something and not say a word. If he brings it up you jump and say your bit.

Libra will aim to balance such that both pay an equal amount even if it is movies for you and drinks and popcorn for him. We keep the balance (not the monetary one) in our minds so that we're both happy.

I have missed a few threads - been travelling for work.

Yeah God forbid had HP said she wanted a watch...

LOL

Scorpios make me laugh. I can't help it.

How is good old Sheffield?

no, i don't want him to buy me an iPod, lol...i'm frugal at times with my money and he's been telling me that i should get an iPod Shuffle or something like that, but I don't want to spend $ 100 for it.

i just rattled that off as an example. i would be perfectly happy if he took me to the museum on my birthday. it's just the gesture that he realizes that it's a special day for me.

Tauruses are known for that! That's how money ends up in the bank rather than us Libras spending foolishly. Tell him that it is a Taurus trait.

The dirty south is glorious, albeit overcast. But I am at work so I'd rather not see the sunshine - just frustrating and hot...

No pun taken however - And I have no patience for poker. And even less patience for games like Monopoly.

But have fun and have one on me!