to be confused or not ... !
This topic was created in the Libra forum by pr_princess on Tuesday, January 20, 2009 and has 20 replies.
What's your sign?
Aries. I'm trying to be patient!
The way I see it you're not exclusive, and I would be honest with him on all fronts and take it from there. If he really wants you, he will let you know. If you want him, you'll have to be patient and constantly reassure him, show him you care. Speaking as an Aries with a Libran partner, it's a long wait but worth it.
Well with you being an Aries, I can understand why you want to cut out the "middle man" & know up front if he wants you for something serious (or for fun) or not. With this Libra in particular, if you really feel like giving him one more shot at proving to you that he's worth waiting for, then you're going to have to suck it up & have that "deep" talk with him about how you feel. Don't stop being the direct & up front person you are just b/c someone else can't get with the program. Tell him how you feel & let him know that you are not only expressing your feelings, but also that life is too short for games & that you are giving him an ulter-matum (sorry for the bad spelling, it's been a rough day lol). Libras know when to get serious & get their acts together. And if he doesn't take the bait or take you seriously when you tell him how you feel, then don't be suprised if he doesn't take the bait. He'll actually be doing you a favor by not taking the bait b/c it'll be easier for you to see through what he's about, thus you'll already have your answer as to if this guy is serious with you.
If he truly does want you (deep inside) & realizes that his behavior & wishy washiness will cause him to lose you, then he'll look in the mirror & will get it together. Libras are very quick at getting their acts together when they finally realize their behavior is turning others off instead of on. If he gives you an explanation & would just come out & say what he wants from you, then things would go alot smoother. Maybe he's afraid to admit his jealous & possessive ways, like alot of people are afraid to do. Maybe you might have to just use that direct side of you & ask those hard questions. And hey, if he can't handle the straight-forwardness then you & him will never work out anyways b/c that who you are & Aries has to feel that they can ACHEIVE (not lose) things with their up front personalities.
If he truly does want you (deep inside) & realizes that his behavior & wishy washiness will cause him to lose you, then he'll look in the mirror & will get it together. Libras are very quick at getting their acts together when they finally realize their behavior is turning others off instead of on. If he gives you an explanation & would just come out & say what he wants from you, then things would go alot smoother. Maybe he's afraid to admit his jealous & possessive ways, like alot of people are afraid to do. Maybe you might have to just use that direct side of you & ask those hard questions. And hey, if he can't handle the straight-forwardness then you & him will never work out anyways b/c that who you are & Aries has to feel that they can ACHEIVE (not lose) things with their up front personalities.
On the other hand, there are plenty of reasons why this Libra might be acting this way towards you.
1. He may be emotionally unavailable. He wants to find something new so that he can move on from his past but can't seem to get over his ex or past dwellings. So it could be no wonder why one minute he acts like he wants you & the next minute he acts like he doesn't.
2. He might sense that you cannot handle or accept or adapt to his possessive & jealous ways. Some men don't necessarily want you for themselves, but at the same time they don't want others to have you. He may sense that you won't want him for his possessive/jealous or insecure ways (even though he doesn't realize you can see straight through them anways) & may not allow himself to attach to you unless he gets the feeling that you won't reject him for these very reasons.
3. He's testing you to see how bad you want him. One minute he'll chase you & get your emotions all stirred up, but then randomly he'll flip the script & see if you'll chase him back when he disappears. Your Libra might just be testing you to see if you want him just as bad as he wants you; thus he's going to keep playing "tag" and "hide-n-seek" with you until he feels he's gotten that answer.
1. He may be emotionally unavailable. He wants to find something new so that he can move on from his past but can't seem to get over his ex or past dwellings. So it could be no wonder why one minute he acts like he wants you & the next minute he acts like he doesn't.
2. He might sense that you cannot handle or accept or adapt to his possessive & jealous ways. Some men don't necessarily want you for themselves, but at the same time they don't want others to have you. He may sense that you won't want him for his possessive/jealous or insecure ways (even though he doesn't realize you can see straight through them anways) & may not allow himself to attach to you unless he gets the feeling that you won't reject him for these very reasons.
3. He's testing you to see how bad you want him. One minute he'll chase you & get your emotions all stirred up, but then randomly he'll flip the script & see if you'll chase him back when he disappears. Your Libra might just be testing you to see if you want him just as bad as he wants you; thus he's going to keep playing "tag" and "hide-n-seek" with you until he feels he's gotten that answer.
You know your limits, you know what you want & you know what you can offer to someone in a commitment. It's important that you only chase after those individuals who know the same things & actually PROVE that they are on the same page with you. Find someone who is what you want RIGHT NOW, not someone whom you've got to "wait" too long for or mold into something you want them to be. After all, this is just the beginning. Playing "Hard to get" gets really old after a while. You guys are at the point where the 2 of you should be spending time getting to know eachother, not questioning yourselves on rather or not the other person is even worthy of getting to know.
If you want this guy bad enough and/or see potential in him (in terms of a commitment), then give him one more shot. But don't expect for him to persistent & consistent if you don't model that behavior yourself. He's being wishy washy b/c somewhere a long the line you gave him the impression that you would still "wait" on him or be there for him regardless of when he's naughty or nice. And we both know that once a guy has decided to take your kindness for weakness, it's hard for them to respect you again (in the right way) the way it should've been in the beginning. It's 2009. People have to prove themselves worthy of your attention, time & heart. Playing "hard to get" is kind of fun in the very beginning, but when it's time to get down to business & actually make the decision about where the friendship or relationship is going to go, the games need to stop & the "proving" needs to begin. If this guy still wants to "play" instead of "prove" then he's showing you (better than he can tell you) the answer to your own question. Good luck.
If you want this guy bad enough and/or see potential in him (in terms of a commitment), then give him one more shot. But don't expect for him to persistent & consistent if you don't model that behavior yourself. He's being wishy washy b/c somewhere a long the line you gave him the impression that you would still "wait" on him or be there for him regardless of when he's naughty or nice. And we both know that once a guy has decided to take your kindness for weakness, it's hard for them to respect you again (in the right way) the way it should've been in the beginning. It's 2009. People have to prove themselves worthy of your attention, time & heart. Playing "hard to get" is kind of fun in the very beginning, but when it's time to get down to business & actually make the decision about where the friendship or relationship is going to go, the games need to stop & the "proving" needs to begin. If this guy still wants to "play" instead of "prove" then he's showing you (better than he can tell you) the answer to your own question. Good luck.
((Aries. I'm trying to be patient!))
tats mission impossible.
try to make him restless instead. shud be easier. 
tats mission impossible.
try to make him restless instead. shud be easier. 
he's unsure, talk to him deeply like krys mentioned... ask him what his insecurities are as you're about to move on relationshipwise... that should get him a bit restless... aries are not comfortable in intimate pursuits either, it's remains surface... so make sure you know what you want ! before the chase 
I love the chase
I love the chase
Libra best partners will be slightly more decisive than them, not someone that goes into analysis/paralysis with them, nothing happens then.
True. Just be very up front about what you want & how you want it. You have nothing to lose by being yourself. And if you lose someone by being true to yourself then that person did you a FAVOR, not an inconvienience. If he is emotionally mature enough, he'll get the hint when you're giving him his options or demanding answers from him. But if he isn't, then you'll know you've got some "dumping" to do.
There is nothing more sexy to a man (whom ACTUALLY wants a good, stable & secure woman by his side) than a woman who is stern & not only KNOWS what she wants, but will not expect anything less than what she expects, even if that means he's out of that picture. Show him what you're made of. This is not the time to let "wishy washy" have power over "stern." Show him what you're made of so that he won't have any room to play the "wishy washy" or "hard to get" game with you & with himself. And based on how he reacts or DOESN'T react, will give you your answer clear & simple. The hard part is, once you get that answer, don't ignore it just to go back & do this process all over again.
It's like when people prank call 911. When you are REALLY in trouble, no one will show up b/c they were done taking you seriously a long time ago.
There is nothing more sexy to a man (whom ACTUALLY wants a good, stable & secure woman by his side) than a woman who is stern & not only KNOWS what she wants, but will not expect anything less than what she expects, even if that means he's out of that picture. Show him what you're made of. This is not the time to let "wishy washy" have power over "stern." Show him what you're made of so that he won't have any room to play the "wishy washy" or "hard to get" game with you & with himself. And based on how he reacts or DOESN'T react, will give you your answer clear & simple. The hard part is, once you get that answer, don't ignore it just to go back & do this process all over again.
It's like when people prank call 911. When you are REALLY in trouble, no one will show up b/c they were done taking you seriously a long time ago.
TheLibrian - what do you mean keep him restless?
Okay.. so I kinda went to see a movie with this guy I had a date with couple weeks ago. The 1st date went great but the entire night I had the Libra guy on my mind. I have no interest in this guy but he asked me out ot see a movie. I didn't want to go b/c I had my mind made up but b/c the Libra guy jumps between pages I went. He called me that night enought ime I didn't pick up. I called back I felt a hang up every time. Eventually he picked up kinda saying 'Well I called you 4 times why didn't you pick up!' So I said where I was and which whom. Not sure if that was a mistake? I said I was out with a guy friend to see a movie, no kissing, he gave me a hug.
I do want to be honest, like krys said just tell it how it is and see. He has been pretty good on the level with me but never follows through when he asks me out. I do hear Libras are insecure, I know he likes me, I don't know if the age thing might make him feel more insecure... what do I do... say not to push him off. We';ve had a fun friendhsip buddy-buddy thing going I don't want it to get complicated.
Okay.. so I kinda went to see a movie with this guy I had a date with couple weeks ago. The 1st date went great but the entire night I had the Libra guy on my mind. I have no interest in this guy but he asked me out ot see a movie. I didn't want to go b/c I had my mind made up but b/c the Libra guy jumps between pages I went. He called me that night enought ime I didn't pick up. I called back I felt a hang up every time. Eventually he picked up kinda saying 'Well I called you 4 times why didn't you pick up!' So I said where I was and which whom. Not sure if that was a mistake? I said I was out with a guy friend to see a movie, no kissing, he gave me a hug.
I do want to be honest, like krys said just tell it how it is and see. He has been pretty good on the level with me but never follows through when he asks me out. I do hear Libras are insecure, I know he likes me, I don't know if the age thing might make him feel more insecure... what do I do... say not to push him off. We';ve had a fun friendhsip buddy-buddy thing going I don't want it to get complicated.
yea my best buddies since I can remember have been Libra boys... everytime I start a new chapter like school, job, move homes... there tends to be a libra dude buddy phase or aqua... it's always tight and loads of fun... so I know what you mean by not wanting to complicate things...
if you value the friendship more then maybe just tell him, let's be friends...
he's comfortable in the indecision role and you're making it easy for him by being indecisive too... if you get him restless, he has to come out of that comfortzone... then he's restless...
what was his reaction when you told him you went out with the other dude?
if you value the friendship more then maybe just tell him, let's be friends...
he's comfortable in the indecision role and you're making it easy for him by being indecisive too... if you get him restless, he has to come out of that comfortzone... then he's restless...
what was his reaction when you told him you went out with the other dude?
"I do want to be honest, like krys said just tell it how it is and see. He has been pretty good on the level with me but never follows through when he asks me out. I do hear Libras are insecure, I know he likes me, I don't know if the age thing might make him feel more insecure... what do I do... say not to push him off. We';ve had a fun friendhsip buddy-buddy thing going I don't want it to get complicated."
Well, hey you can't make someone commit to you or take you seriously. If this guy is complicating things so bad for you, then tell him you'd be better off as friends. You guys are acting like friends anyways. Why pretend that you guys are all for something if only 1 person is putting in all the effort? Do what you gotta do. If this guy keeps asking you out on dates (trying to stir up those emotions in you just to see if you'll say yes) & then disappearing when it's time to actually go on them then that's a major indication that he's doing exactly what you did. He's probably seeing someone else or "testing the waters" with other women, therefore that might explain why this guy just doesn't seem to have any time for you when it really matters. He's probably dating different women & seeing which one he likes the best; and when Libras are shuffling women, they'll say or do what they can to make sure all of those women won't flock from him (that's why he asks you for those dates) & when he decides who he actually wants to go on a date with for that night, he'll pick 1 woman (b/c he can't be at 2 places at once) & leave all the other women behind. And to make sure there is no bad blood & that all the "others" are still on deck, he'll call each of them & say something sweet to give off the illusion that he's still interested in them. Libras don't just do this. Men in general are experts at this game.
Well, hey you can't make someone commit to you or take you seriously. If this guy is complicating things so bad for you, then tell him you'd be better off as friends. You guys are acting like friends anyways. Why pretend that you guys are all for something if only 1 person is putting in all the effort? Do what you gotta do. If this guy keeps asking you out on dates (trying to stir up those emotions in you just to see if you'll say yes) & then disappearing when it's time to actually go on them then that's a major indication that he's doing exactly what you did. He's probably seeing someone else or "testing the waters" with other women, therefore that might explain why this guy just doesn't seem to have any time for you when it really matters. He's probably dating different women & seeing which one he likes the best; and when Libras are shuffling women, they'll say or do what they can to make sure all of those women won't flock from him (that's why he asks you for those dates) & when he decides who he actually wants to go on a date with for that night, he'll pick 1 woman (b/c he can't be at 2 places at once) & leave all the other women behind. And to make sure there is no bad blood & that all the "others" are still on deck, he'll call each of them & say something sweet to give off the illusion that he's still interested in them. Libras don't just do this. Men in general are experts at this game.
I think you already know what you've got to do. You just don't want to give up right now b/c women naturally believe that if we leave, we might be leaving too soon. We play tricks on ourselves. We believe that if we stay, there's a chance that he'll be "Mr. right" tomorrow, when in fact that never happens. And we'll play this game with OURSELVES over & over until we get sick & tired or finally realize that we've been waiting on something/someone that never had the intentions to grow past a friendship with us. And after that happens, then we get all resentful & blame the men for making things so complicated when in face, we had the power all along. We are all personally responsible for our own happiness.
Sure, you're going to think about your Libra when you're out dating other guys, but the reason you might not be finding someone who's really ready to settle down is b/c you keep ignoring those who really want you all the time for those who only want you sometimes. And plus, I'm sure the "age" thing has something to do with his behavior. He's in his early twenties. He's not ready to settle down yet & if he was he would've scooped you up & made it known & very clear. The best way to skip over all this complicated stuff is to become responsible for our own happiness. If he's not filling that void, then move on. NEXT! And trust me, if you tell him that you guys would be better off as friends, it's not like he's going to cry. It's 2009. People only get 1 chance to prove to you that they're worthy of your time, energy, attention & love. If he blew his chance, then he blew it. He might respect you now but if he sees that you're too vulnerable or always give in & never stand up for what you want, you'll actually turn him off & he'll end up losing all respect for you as a woman, therefore even further NEVER making an effort to sweep you off your feet. The power is in your hands & it will be until YOU make the decision. If you give the power to someone unstable then your results will be just as unstable
Sure, you're going to think about your Libra when you're out dating other guys, but the reason you might not be finding someone who's really ready to settle down is b/c you keep ignoring those who really want you all the time for those who only want you sometimes. And plus, I'm sure the "age" thing has something to do with his behavior. He's in his early twenties. He's not ready to settle down yet & if he was he would've scooped you up & made it known & very clear. The best way to skip over all this complicated stuff is to become responsible for our own happiness. If he's not filling that void, then move on. NEXT! And trust me, if you tell him that you guys would be better off as friends, it's not like he's going to cry. It's 2009. People only get 1 chance to prove to you that they're worthy of your time, energy, attention & love. If he blew his chance, then he blew it. He might respect you now but if he sees that you're too vulnerable or always give in & never stand up for what you want, you'll actually turn him off & he'll end up losing all respect for you as a woman, therefore even further NEVER making an effort to sweep you off your feet. The power is in your hands & it will be until YOU make the decision. If you give the power to someone unstable then your results will be just as unstable
And hey, if he's dating other women other than you, I'm sure he'll be upset that you came right out & told him the truth about you going on a date with another guy. But it won't upset him for the reason you probably want it to. He'll be upset b/c he'll realize that you are 1 less girl & 1 less option for him. Hurting his pride and hurting his heart are 2 different things. By telling him this, you probably hurt his pride. After all, Libras are very possessive over those they care about. If this guy was hurt he would've did or said something immediately that would've gotten your attention. The fact that you don't even know how he felt about it just even further makes sense & indicates that this guy only sees you as an "option" & not the "priority" you're making him out to be.
But understand, by telling him that you went out on another date is like telling him that you guys just need to be friends & that you telling him about your other date was another way of saying "oh & by the way, I'm so over you." 2 people that are attempting to commit with eachother don't go out on dates with other people. And the only reason I'd say you made a mistake by telling him the truth is if you really didn't want him to believe that you were moving on. If you know you're not going to move on, then yes that was the worse thing you could've said to your Libra. After all, it could be a 1 in a billion chance that this guy really cares for you but just isn't comfortable expressing that to you YET (not at all, but yet) & by telling him something like that you might've given him the same feeling he's given you; thus he'll assume he's getting the "hint" & move on. Don't try to make him jealous or make him think that you don't need him if you really feel that you DO need him. The best game to play is NO GAME. If your Libra senses that you're trying to intimidate him or make him jealous by going on dates with others, you'll actually reverse the effect of what you want. He'll turn around & do the SAMe thing you're doing but the difference is, he probably won't be thinking about you when he's out on a date with another woman. When Libras care about you, you dating other people hurts their hearts & they'll fight for you or try to win you back on their team. But if a Libra doesn't care, you'll know b/c you'll be sitting at home wondering how he feels.
But understand, by telling him that you went out on another date is like telling him that you guys just need to be friends & that you telling him about your other date was another way of saying "oh & by the way, I'm so over you." 2 people that are attempting to commit with eachother don't go out on dates with other people. And the only reason I'd say you made a mistake by telling him the truth is if you really didn't want him to believe that you were moving on. If you know you're not going to move on, then yes that was the worse thing you could've said to your Libra. After all, it could be a 1 in a billion chance that this guy really cares for you but just isn't comfortable expressing that to you YET (not at all, but yet) & by telling him something like that you might've given him the same feeling he's given you; thus he'll assume he's getting the "hint" & move on. Don't try to make him jealous or make him think that you don't need him if you really feel that you DO need him. The best game to play is NO GAME. If your Libra senses that you're trying to intimidate him or make him jealous by going on dates with others, you'll actually reverse the effect of what you want. He'll turn around & do the SAMe thing you're doing but the difference is, he probably won't be thinking about you when he's out on a date with another woman. When Libras care about you, you dating other people hurts their hearts & they'll fight for you or try to win you back on their team. But if a Libra doesn't care, you'll know b/c you'll be sitting at home wondering how he feels.
Sag89 why'd you hide your post?
LOL!!! Sorry princess. I forgot what it said and I forgot why I deleted it haha. Oh..right. I think I was just saying don't ever try to make libra's jealous. Cause they are overly sensitive about everything. Just keep whatever your doing from him.
how do I undo this???
undo what?
move on with your life and mean it... don't be so available
move on with your life and mean it... don't be so available
oh stop. I'm not.
Leave Your Feedback
We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.
Related Topics
I find it incredibly hypocritical of these Liberals who go on about how Historic it is for Obama to be elected preside
@AngryScorpio
Joined: Aug 23, 2008 · Topics: 20 · Posts: 315
Thank you for asking about The Twins! I'll try to keep this short... First of all, for small fries, they are very ACT
@DyarStra?e
Joined: Oct 08, 2007 · Topics: 93 · Posts: 2906
Question~ is singing words in your presence really saying them to you? It is a romantic thought, but, could it be unin
@Perfect Gem Angel
Joined: Mar 23, 2008 · Topics: 65 · Posts: 876
I am finding this cappy male much more refreshing than the trouble I had with trying to capture cancer's attention! H
@tankgirl
Joined: Oct 23, 2008 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 13
If a cancer man thinks I have moved on - because I've cut off contact and there's flirtation from another man on my face
@saggirl
Joined: Sep 28, 2008 · Topics: 9 · Posts: 45
Would Feb. 15th be considered part of the peices/aquarian cusp? If so...it would explain many, many things :D
@AnnoyedCancer
Joined: Jun 05, 2007 · Topics: 40 · Posts: 327
after all drama we read in the internet boards, all cheating and flirts, all usage and abusage, all our stupid intense t
@DwellingOnMove
Joined: Jan 07, 2009 · Topics: 239 · Posts: 14219
re_lent_less Function: adjective Date: circa 1592 : showing or promising no abatement of severity, inte
@Perfect Gem Angel
Joined: Mar 23, 2008 · Topics: 65 · Posts: 876
Hi Gems! Need your insight on this certain situation. I'm a Libra-Scorpio Cusp (Oct. 24), and the boy I'm currently
@yuechan
Joined: Jan 17, 2009 · Topics: 11 · Posts: 73
I have a Pisces man in my life who I love, am in love with and want to spend my life with. Im a September Virgo and he i
@MsVirgo2008
Joined: Jan 03, 2008 · Topics: 10 · Posts: 73