Truth?
This topic was created in the Libra forum by CanTaur on Monday, May 5, 2008 and has 20 replies.
I've become really confused by a Libra friend (is this surprising?)
anyway, I came across something & wanted to run it by everyone to see if any of you find this to be true.
"The dark side of Libra is cold and conniving, cut off and prone to self-pity. During such episodes, they often salve their wounds with empty sex and alcohol. This is the result of numerous foolish choices that have made them numb" Taken from the book "Smart signs, foolish choices"
This paragraph really stood out to me because after being back in contact with my friend for over a 1 1/2 years I'm seeing a new side of him. It's not pretty & it really makes me sad for him. About a month ago he said some really hurtfull things so I've decided to step out of the picture for now but I do still care.
anyway, I came across something & wanted to run it by everyone to see if any of you find this to be true."The dark side of Libra is cold and conniving, cut off and prone to self-pity. During such episodes, they often salve their wounds with empty sex and alcohol. This is the result of numerous foolish choices that have made them numb" Taken from the book "Smart signs, foolish choices"
This paragraph really stood out to me because after being back in contact with my friend for over a 1 1/2 years I'm seeing a new side of him. It's not pretty & it really makes me sad for him. About a month ago he said some really hurtfull things so I've decided to step out of the picture for now but I do still care.
Just a little more & I'll try to keep this short, I need to know because at this point I'm questioning who he really is & if all previous conversations have been "real". This man who prided himself on being sincere, loyal & giving.....all of which he proved to be in the past, at this point seems to be the total opposite.
He used to give me crap about my partying, which I've stopped doing, Now that seems to be all he does. I've recently found out that he's a "closet drinker" & IMO has a bigger problem then I ever had, now knowing that he's been involved in a serious accident & a arrest for fighting due to alcohol. So it's hateful to know this now after everything he's ever said to me in regards to my drinking & his portrayal of drinking being disgusting.
I've also just learned that he was caught at his friends house with his friends girlfriend just 3 days after they broke up. This is not the loyal friend I thought I knew. Is this who he is & has been all along? Was he hiding his true self for this long or do Libras go through periods of time when they do things that are the complete opposite of their normal behaviour?
He used to give me crap about my partying, which I've stopped doing, Now that seems to be all he does. I've recently found out that he's a "closet drinker" & IMO has a bigger problem then I ever had, now knowing that he's been involved in a serious accident & a arrest for fighting due to alcohol. So it's hateful to know this now after everything he's ever said to me in regards to my drinking & his portrayal of drinking being disgusting.
I've also just learned that he was caught at his friends house with his friends girlfriend just 3 days after they broke up. This is not the loyal friend I thought I knew. Is this who he is & has been all along? Was he hiding his true self for this long or do Libras go through periods of time when they do things that are the complete opposite of their normal behaviour?
Your LIbra friend is going through something by the sounds of it and it probably a very good idea to step away and keep away while he works himself out - saves you getting hurt in any way shape or form.
From my experience, they take forever to sort themselves out and they dont realise who or how many they hurt along the way but all the time saying they never meant to hurt anybody....please do yourself a favour and walk away from this one.....if he works himself out? then you can pick up the f/ship or r/ship or whatever but for now? he's better off alone and SO ARE YOU
From my experience, they take forever to sort themselves out and they dont realise who or how many they hurt along the way but all the time saying they never meant to hurt anybody....please do yourself a favour and walk away from this one.....if he works himself out? then you can pick up the f/ship or r/ship or whatever but for now? he's better off alone and SO ARE YOU
If you are a close friend of him , try to talk with him..
These are all signs that your libra friend is unhappy. It helps if they know someone is there for them.
These are all signs that your libra friend is unhappy. It helps if they know someone is there for them.
Thanks everyone for your responses
Chatz & Upheaval.... I decided about a month ago to walk away from this situation but only after trying numerous times to reach out to him. I'm a Taurus, I'm loyal & I do take my friendships/relationships in life very serious but I came to a place where I didn't feel what I was offering was being reciprocated, This is hard for me because I hate more than anything to feel as if I'm abandoning someone that I care for, especially at a time when they're having problems but like you say Chatz, I have to look out for me 1st & when he came to the point of resorting to hurtfull words (which he says he didn't mean or that I took it wrong) because he was drunk at the time, then I have to step away
Chatz & Upheaval.... I decided about a month ago to walk away from this situation but only after trying numerous times to reach out to him. I'm a Taurus, I'm loyal & I do take my friendships/relationships in life very serious but I came to a place where I didn't feel what I was offering was being reciprocated, This is hard for me because I hate more than anything to feel as if I'm abandoning someone that I care for, especially at a time when they're having problems but like you say Chatz, I have to look out for me 1st & when he came to the point of resorting to hurtfull words (which he says he didn't mean or that I took it wrong) because he was drunk at the time, then I have to step away
Arianlatay...... I also found that passage in the book review on google so I didn't get to read as much as I would have liked. I do think some of the things are in the book are true but of course not everything will match 100% . I believe he is the "lower" libra that the book talked about which states that although wanting to be social these libras tend to cut themselves off from people, live in a world of their own & become depressed. That sounds like a accurate description. I've thought about this over night & I think this must be something he goes through every once in awhile, the accident happened a few yrs ago which he told me about but left out the part about alcohol being involved, the fight & arrest happened about 6 months ago & after that he swore off drinking, hasn't lasted obviously & I found out that this isn't the 1st time he's been caught with one of this friends ex girlfriends. I think I've done just about as much as I could to talk to him & get him to open up but you can't force someone to talk. I guess I just feel stung, like I got a nice slap to the face when he began changing in this way & then all of these hidden things began to surface. I feel hurt as well because I layed all my junk out on the table & instead of being "real" & sharing his understanding, he took a stance of "holier than thou" & acted as if he couldn't relate. Does anyone know of any other Libras who act this way?
The dark side of Libra is cold and conniving, cut off and prone to self-pity. During such episodes, they often salve their wounds with empty sex and alcohol. This is the result of numerous foolish choices that have made them numb" Taken from the book "Smart signs, foolish choices"
------------
From my OWN experiences with my ex-fiance, I find this statement to have ALOT of truth to it. It seems like once Libras have entered into their "dark side" they become different people & do things we once thought they'd never do (but in THEIR minds, that dark side was ALWAYS there, it just took the right person or right situation to bring it out of them). My ex fiance never amounted to alcohol after the breakup, but his love for sex intensified & multiplied x3! He started doing things he KNEW good & dam well he'd regret the next day & it's almost as if he had that "F it" attitude. He was almost just as cold to HIMSELF than he was with others & how they felt. He was battling his own mind against his own heart. & I find this to be common with alot of Libras, once and only once they enter into that dark side.
------------
From my OWN experiences with my ex-fiance, I find this statement to have ALOT of truth to it. It seems like once Libras have entered into their "dark side" they become different people & do things we once thought they'd never do (but in THEIR minds, that dark side was ALWAYS there, it just took the right person or right situation to bring it out of them). My ex fiance never amounted to alcohol after the breakup, but his love for sex intensified & multiplied x3! He started doing things he KNEW good & dam well he'd regret the next day & it's almost as if he had that "F it" attitude. He was almost just as cold to HIMSELF than he was with others & how they felt. He was battling his own mind against his own heart. & I find this to be common with alot of Libras, once and only once they enter into that dark side.
One minute he (my ex-fiance) was the most religious person of them all, didn't drink or smoke (and never has) & had the intellectual mind of a 50 year old, instead of a 25 year old. The minute his uncle (who was like his dad) died, I saw this man (in person) pointing up to the sky, & cussing out GOD (with not one tear or inch of doubt in his heart)! This man completely distanced himself from his family & even me a little & had the "ME AGAINST THE WORLD" attitude towards everything. He (out of the blue) stopped going to work & stopped looking for jobs, he was quick to light a cigarrette & quick to offend others. He just completely snapped & lost it. But the minute he got through his issues & the death of his uncle, the dark side completely vanished & he became the same "saint" he used to be. Creeped me the F out!
Thanks Krys, I know what you mean when you say you were creeped out, that's how I feel now. Like.....Hi, who are you? It's all just very strange, I mean yeah sometimes I get into my little funks & kinda distance myself from people but I've never seen such a extreme change in someone happen outta no where. He, before this, was always talking about spirituality & keeping/achieveing peace. This, what he's doing now, is the opposite of living peacefully.....very sad to sit back & watch. Especially sence I've never seen it this extreme before. Thanks again for sharing
Wow, I kno this is an old ass post but i HAD to comment on this one. EVErything in here is so true and almost exactly like what my libra guy did. It was creepy because they can change during a dark period during their life and turn into the complete opposite of what you thoguht they were. Turning into the person they said the were not! The very same person they shunned and criticised!!! Wow
Posted by amethyst2002
Gawd, I'm seeing the same bs with my Libra ex. He went from sweet and absolutely wonderful, to distant and seemingly confused about what he really wanted. Beyond the break up, in the friend sense, he's just been a total douche and sucks as a "friend."
Overall, it's just blown my mind all the bs he's pulled compared to the guy that I saw in the beginning of our relationship. Toward the end of it, even his own friends/roommates had noticed he wasn't himself lately, so it wasn't just me getting the weird treatment.
What gets me is that he's doing exactly what some people had done to me before he and I dated, and he'd even told me what they'd done was wrong. Yet look at him doing the same thing now.
I know that he's not a bad guy, but Jesus. This is craziness, the total 180 he did.
100% correct and the very very sad part of it is that i think with these libra men we tend to look back at the past when things are wrong in the present. Meaning we cant help but remember the wonderful person they USED to be and of capable of being so its hard for us to let go when we love them because most of the time we are so busy trying to get them back to the way they used to be before. But one thing i learned is that the more u push a libra the more they pull. I'm at the stage of completely ignoring mine, when i see him and although it hurts it seems to have surprised him even more.
And YES! They do suck as "friends" when they are in this stage.
Another 100 % . Its the same with me almost. I was done wrong in the past by many ppl and i thought he was different. He culda fooled my ass! the crazy thing is that he told me how many had ddone him "wrong" in his life as well so i thought maybe we culd really reaaallly work somethin out here. But, we didnt and he did to me exactly what those before me did to me and what those before him did to him! how crazy is that? And you mentioning that the fact that you dont fall in love easily is the same here as well. I admire and also envy those who fall in love quickly. their life is so much easier! But because i dont fall in ,love easily... when i do.. i dont let go as easily as i shuld either.
Another 100 % . Its the same with me almost. I was done wrong in the past by many ppl and i thought he was different. He culda fooled my ass! the crazy thing is that he told me how many had ddone him "wrong" in his life as well so i thought maybe we culd really reaaallly work somethin out here. But, we didnt and he did to me exactly what those before me did to me and what those before him did to him! how crazy is that? And you mentioning that the fact that you dont fall in love easily is the same here as well. I admire and also envy those who fall in love quickly. their life is so much easier! But because i dont fall in ,love easily... when i do.. i dont let go as easily as i shuld either.
as a libra...
my dark side is DARK.
the typical happy libra is all about building others up. the typical unhappy libra is all about self destruction. totally hypocritical. all about self-immolation. pure hatred. we tend to feel very responsible. that's why. so when we are happy, we feel we have the responsibility to do good for others, that we have the power to benefit the world. then things turn bad, and we feel completely responsible. even if we attribute our pain to others, we still blame ourselves for what we did or didn't do, or for having or not having certain feelings. it's all our fault. and we hate ourselves for it. and we want to hurt ourselves. oddly, the best way to do this is to act in ways that are against our ideals.
if you're going to stop talking to him, i'd recommend you actually say something to him about how it's because he used to be so great but now he's acting like a total ass. at first, his reaction will be 'yeah, well, whatever', but hearing things like that is the seed needed to come out of the dark phases.
i'll go there pretty frequently these days, but only shallowly. dark moods where i'll be pissed off and hateful and just want to be alone, like some wounded animal. then i'm done wallowing and go back to being mostly happy.
and yes, the dark side is always there.
it's like that indian parable about the good/bad wolves that are fighting in the psyche. which one wins? the one you feed.
or like the shame spiral in psychology...where people do something bad, feel shame which makes them feel bad, so they do something bad, and feel bad...etc
it's best for libra to just feel our feelings, not act self destructively, and allow them to pass. if we act destructively, we'll just continue feeling shitty, and therefore continue acting distructively, until something breaks the cycle.
my dark side is DARK.
the typical happy libra is all about building others up. the typical unhappy libra is all about self destruction. totally hypocritical. all about self-immolation. pure hatred. we tend to feel very responsible. that's why. so when we are happy, we feel we have the responsibility to do good for others, that we have the power to benefit the world. then things turn bad, and we feel completely responsible. even if we attribute our pain to others, we still blame ourselves for what we did or didn't do, or for having or not having certain feelings. it's all our fault. and we hate ourselves for it. and we want to hurt ourselves. oddly, the best way to do this is to act in ways that are against our ideals.
if you're going to stop talking to him, i'd recommend you actually say something to him about how it's because he used to be so great but now he's acting like a total ass. at first, his reaction will be 'yeah, well, whatever', but hearing things like that is the seed needed to come out of the dark phases.
i'll go there pretty frequently these days, but only shallowly. dark moods where i'll be pissed off and hateful and just want to be alone, like some wounded animal. then i'm done wallowing and go back to being mostly happy.
and yes, the dark side is always there.
it's like that indian parable about the good/bad wolves that are fighting in the psyche. which one wins? the one you feed.
or like the shame spiral in psychology...where people do something bad, feel shame which makes them feel bad, so they do something bad, and feel bad...etc
it's best for libra to just feel our feelings, not act self destructively, and allow them to pass. if we act destructively, we'll just continue feeling shitty, and therefore continue acting distructively, until something breaks the cycle.
I found myself existing in this dark space less and less as I grow older. I still "act out" in a sense, in way that tends toward drinking too much and some bad decisions that come with that, but even that I am working very hard toward breaking.
Thanks for posting this - this is a side that Librans rarely talk about (even think about, I venture). It is a very dark place to exist with a near total loss of a sense of self, so self possesion what-so-ever. It's like being inside a deep well and alone.
I was not sure anyone experienced this, though the most severe of these episodes seems to be behind me, I felt there was something severely wrong with me.
What I think happens when I scales tip this dangerously low is the extreme feeling of isolation - that feeling that there is something wrong with us and that we are indeed the only ones that feel that way. I've been able to break this cycle somewhat by telling myself that terrible things happen to everybody - and in fact, this seemingly devastating moment isn't in fact as bad as all that.
I've also been working toward (and struggling with) accepting love and help from those who do love and want to help me in times like that. Masking emotions is very easy for me - I can walk through my daily life with nobody knowing of that dark matter inside of me. Being alone with it is worse than revealing the darkness I've found...
Thanks for posting this - this is a side that Librans rarely talk about (even think about, I venture). It is a very dark place to exist with a near total loss of a sense of self, so self possesion what-so-ever. It's like being inside a deep well and alone.
I was not sure anyone experienced this, though the most severe of these episodes seems to be behind me, I felt there was something severely wrong with me.
What I think happens when I scales tip this dangerously low is the extreme feeling of isolation - that feeling that there is something wrong with us and that we are indeed the only ones that feel that way. I've been able to break this cycle somewhat by telling myself that terrible things happen to everybody - and in fact, this seemingly devastating moment isn't in fact as bad as all that.
I've also been working toward (and struggling with) accepting love and help from those who do love and want to help me in times like that. Masking emotions is very easy for me - I can walk through my daily life with nobody knowing of that dark matter inside of me. Being alone with it is worse than revealing the darkness I've found...
if i told u my dark side u wouldnt believe me my when i was in it, i was hell on earth
Its kinda scary reading this post and see that I'm going thru this at some level. its the reason I joined this website
Im reading the chapter now and Its like reading everything that I have done on paper.....explains alot
I read somewhere that the people who come closest to the truth about themselves and the world are the depressed. I think the bouts of depression is more like acknowledging how dark the world can be, rather than a mental illness. It's a journey to truth about self vs the world.
I'm not a stranger to depression, but it has actually helped me to accept the dark and light sides. In the long run, this self knowledge is a boon rather than a bane.
I'm not a stranger to depression, but it has actually helped me to accept the dark and light sides. In the long run, this self knowledge is a boon rather than a bane.
Posted by spica
I read somewhere that the people who come closest to the truth about themselves and the world are the depressed. I think the bouts of depression is more like acknowledging how dark the world can be, rather than a mental illness. It's a journey to truth about self vs the world.
I'm not a stranger to depression, but it has actually helped me to accept the dark and light sides. In the long run, this self knowledge is a boon rather than a bane.
i totally agree.
on the one hand, a person has very high ideals, on the other hand reality is so far from them.
these days, even when i'm sad, i'm also mostly relatively happy. i see the good too. i can see that in the greater scheme of things, the bad is there and it's always gonna be.
a lot of people see me as pessimistic. but i think i'm pretty optimistic. how else can a person see all the bad in the world and still think life is worth living? i look for the best, but i'm not gonna use that as an excuse for denying reality. and some of reality is dirty and messy and mean. oh well.
anytime i get really low, i'll remember that i've been there before, and i came out of it. so i'll come out of it again. just let it run it's course...the way out is through.
(i'm there right now, btw. if someone asks how i am, i'm honest, but then i add something about 'oh that's life. it happens.' i don't know if people have any clue how dark i feel.)
Leave Your Feedback
We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.
Related Topics
a virgo female finds out thru the grapevine or big mouth I accidently told about my feelings for her. not sure she even
@mauicountry
Joined: Mar 30, 2006 · Topics: 35 · Posts: 239
Went to the club with a couple of friends, and got a little tip~sy, and really transformed into a SUPER HO!! LMAO!!! Wha
@VIRGOEXALTED
Joined: Jul 11, 2006 · Topics: 123 · Posts: 3318
Oh, yes... I am whipping out the oldies.
@ScorpSuperior
Joined: Jul 30, 2007 · Topics: 206 · Posts: 10583
Well, it's now been two years with a mostly wonderful Gem. We've had some extraordinarily happy memories, but frequent
@stardance
Joined: Mar 08, 2006 · Topics: 22 · Posts: 828
Me & my virgo b'friend split up a few months ago, his choice not mine. We still keep in touch but alot less nower days
@Rihanna
Joined: Apr 13, 2008 · Topics: 4 · Posts: 16
did anyone see the Celtics beat the hell out of the Hawks today? kicked their asses...
@OneSexyGem
Joined: Mar 14, 2007 · Topics: 56 · Posts: 1083
Let's talk about positive manipulation. How do you compliment other suns signs (without hidden agenda) ? To what compl
@Kreeftaap
Joined: May 19, 2007 · Topics: 10 · Posts: 29
I mean for more than a year going without troubles and negative ideas. I know Aries women always gets attracted to Gemin
@thelibran
Joined: May 23, 2006 · Topics: 117 · Posts: 2604
As fellow cancers, are Libra males usually so intense? i.e. does not follow the rule of...play hard to get? Libra aske
@AnnoyedCancer
Joined: Jun 05, 2007 · Topics: 40 · Posts: 327
aren't they lovely, mysterious and filled with life....extremely attractive? What would be some tips about them?
@1!1
Joined: May 04, 2008 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 18