Update on my Libra situation.

Posted by tiki33
Verse you'd have a better friend in a dog.
Cut your losses and no more gift giving, the gift giving screams of desperation and also being a friend with a guy who does not respect for you screams of desperation.
There is absolutely no reason to be friends with him.
You must want something and even that he probably doesn't want unless it comes with a side of booty on a plate.
Bow out with dignity. He's the one that loss a great friend. He doesn't sound as if he's done anything to deserve your friendship.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by verseaufemme
@tiziani I'm not saying this in a bad way because I just want to understand your point but how is this a bad idea if I'm going to keep my distance from him in the process of it all? I pretty much gave up all hope on us ever being more than friends after hearing this so my feelings for him in that way is declining.

Because "telling him about himself" is likely going to come off as you lecturing him. People who tell others about how they could do a better job at being themselves are a dime a dozen, and real friends don't do that. He's not going to listen. I think it'd be braver for you to accept that you just don't understand him as well as you wanted to. He probably doesn't even understand himself that much either. When men don't have their life in order, they tend to handle all commitments of any form in a shitty way. But that doesn't mean they need someone to be the mother and tell them how they could be doing better. You let them figure it out for themselves and focus on you.

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Posted by krysrenee7
Some people are only cool with "friends first" AS LONG AS they're sure a relationship will come out of it.
And others are cool with "friends" even if it leads nowhere, & they're still grateful b/c at least they came out of it with another new friend
Neither kind of person is in the wrong though
If he's just your friend & has told you from the beginning that he didn't want a relationship, you were na??ve to think that he was only sleeping with you. Always assume that the average man probably is talking to/dating/having sex with a couple of women. Nothing wrong with that. That's what being single means! It means not being accountable to just 1 girl/person like people in relationships are!!
You're taking it out on him all b/c YOU were being na??ve. If you can't be friends with a guy unless he wants something further, that's understandable but be honest about it. If a man is just your friend, why would it matter who else he's sleeping with? Not only is that not your business, but it shouldn't bother you
Don't ever expect to be the only 1 unless you're in a relationship with that person. Learn this wisdom & you won't be so disappointed in situations like this.
If you slept with 2 guys last week, I bet you he wouldn't have been ready to say goodbye to the friendship all b/c he's not the only guy. It's convenient that you only started questioning the friendship once you found out you weren't his only "friend," lol That friendship wasn't ever real to begin with. But it wasn't real, not b/c he is a bad guy but b/c you had unrealistic expectations to begin with, which of course was gonna lead to a big disappointment at the end of it all

Posted by WaterCup
Wow, I never saw this one coming. Good thing you were only his friend & not one of his girls. I think it's safe at this point to keep your distance. Well until you get over the shock & get a handle over your emotions. You don't want to sound like a jealous gf, confronting him will make you appear that way. He doesn't owe you an explanation to what he does in his private life, you guys are just friends, right? Keep it moving.

Posted by krysrenee7
You're being unfair
Your expectations of him were too high & not indicative of someone you just wanted to be "friends" with.
Why would a man be exclusive with you if he's just your friend? People don't start getting exclusive or agree to only deal with 1 person unless things are starting to get serious & are heading in the direction of a relationship. He told you that a relationship wasn't the goal, but you kept your high expectations anyway, which is on you, NOT him.
He's not dating other women b/c he's alone or bored or desperate. He's single AND has told you that he wants to be single (so you can't accuse him of being dishonest or leading you on) & is mingling with who he wants to b/c he can & b/c that's what men do when they're single. There is nothing bad or wrong about that.
To be fair to men...once a guy tells you that he doesn't want a relationship, it's up to the woman to do her work too. It's up to YOU to make sure to establish boundaries & to pick up on anything that seems not genuine. You can't depend on him to do all the work.
Even had he not said he wanted to be in a relationship, the fact that he's dating multiple girls & those relations aren't going anywhere could've translated the same "Doesn't want a relationship" story to you too if you used your logic & wisdom to figure it out
Be honest, you no longer wanna be his friend b/c you know you're not gonna get the relationship out of it at the end of the tunnel like you wanted. Hey, if that's true, cool. Understandable. But to say that just b/c some guy who wasn't your man nor ever planned on being is not worthy as a friend all b/c he doesn't think it's your business who he has in his bedroom is unfair & unrealistic