What a shocker

I've already bugged Tiz about this, but this is semi vent/semi feedback in a sense.

Things haven't been very promising with the libra over the last two weeks and I'm basically ready to walk away at this point. The sudden being "too busy," doesn't text me as he used to- daily, has been fucking around with other chicks (he has a lot of girls for friends) right in plain sight, etc.

Pros- just before all this started, he had to sort of flake on my birthday thing, but still made it and stuck around even though I gave him the go ahead to go.
I always get replies from him when I text him. He doesn't ignore or take forever responding.
Despite his "busy" spell, he still saw me before he went out of town.

Cons- I haven't heard from him since last Wed (when he went out of town).
He was telling a friend to bring her single friends to a gathering at his apt and when she told him they were off limits, he joked about how he could still look.
Never bothered to invite me to said gathering. I was there and left an hour before. Not butthurt, but it tells me where I stand.
Apparently he got back into town last night and some chick was posting about their "semi long distance" movie night (she lives in another city) and how they were texting and shit.
He's been "busy" which some is truly legit, but I call bs when he's not capable of at least saying hi when I don't initiate.
When I saw him before he left, it basically felt like a booty call. A really early one, but there was no real going out. Just hanging out at his place with a movie.

Awhile back, he made a comment about how I would drive him crazy with his dingbat forgetfulness. What I have an issue with is his 360 and openly making time for other girls/friends. How can you go along for 4 months and still not know wtf you want?

Last night, I was so pissed and frustrated with this stupid shit that I was ready to just drop his ass. I'd told myself I'd give him his "space" while out of town (conference), and once he was back, if I didn't see more effort on his part, because he supposedly won't be "busy", I'm over it. But then to see this shit this chick posted bugged the hell out of me. Back in town, supposedly has 3 tests the next day, but is watching movies and texting this girl. Haven't heard from him in 4-5 days.

Yep. Looks real promising.

I finally decided that I would want to sit down and talk to him, though it seems pointless because it's obvious what's going on. I'm waffling at contacting him first since I have NO idea when I will hear from him at this rate. I would gladly just walk away without addressing this, but I think I'd be the better person if I do address.

I just don't think I should have to initiate contact, though. So I'm kinda stumped if I should or not.

Blegh. The entire thing just annoys me. I stepped back intentionally to see what he'd do and I see all this stupid shit and more classic signs of "he's not that into you."

It's like okay are you playing games? Why in the world would he be that dumb to make those texts visible for me to see when he told that girl to bring single friends? This chick is talking openly about their little texting movie night bs (all of which he "likes" btw). It's like are you that naive, just dumb, or trying to fuck with me? Or are you trying to pansy you way out of this and "hope" I get the hint?

Ugh, I knew I should have never bothered with a guy this young. Eff me. :/

I also know that part of the issue is that I'm relatively laid back when it comes to some of this stuff- people have lives and shit happens and you get busy. Not hearing from them for a day or two is bound to happen and it's not the end of the world.
Guys can have girls for friends, but just don't go fucking up your potential relationships/relationships with them. Know your boundaries.
When he's had forgetful moments, I teased him about it, but it's not like I go crazy female about it. He's a dingbat and forgets. Just don't make it a problem.

So part of this I can't help but wonder if it's him getting way too comfortable and thinking it's okay to treat me this way. Which, he can continue if he likes, but he doesn't seem to realize that while yes, I can be laid back and all that, I will fucking make him cry in a corner when it all is too much. Gotta love how guys just push to see how far they can get. *sigh*

Blegh, whatever. I know what I need to do. I just don't know if I should contact him first or not. My stubborn side is saying no.

Posted by SweetLibra
"It's like okay are you playing games? Why in the world would he be that dumb to make those texts visible for me to see when he told that girl to bring single friends? This chick is talking openly about their little texting movie night bs (all of which he "likes" btw). It's like are you that naive, just dumb, or trying to fuck with me? Or are you trying to pansy you way out of this and "hope" I get the hint?"

"Blegh, whatever. I know what I need to do. I just don't know if I should contact him first or not. My stubborn side is saying no."




It does kind of sound like he's doing a "fade out". He doesn't want to be the bad guy and would rather misbehave so you break up with him. This situation sucks. I would go ahead and contact him. That way you can hopefully get some answers and stop wondering what's really going on. Save yourself the misery because he'll keep it going for as long as you let it.

Do you have any idea what happened to make him change his tune all of a sudden? Things were going pretty good for a while there.

Nope. All this started right after my birthday. He was more or less himself up to that point. The only blegh thing was him having to back out on our after dinner plans because he supposedly couldn't be out late due to all the influx of bs from the instructors- to which he supposedly felt like a jerk about. Still would go to dinner though. But I had to actually move the dinner later and figured he'd back out because it was now later. He admitted the timing wasn't the best but still would go. He ended up staying pretty late, so it was kinda promising to see...?

To be fair, this has only been 2 weeks. The week following my bday (the "busy" one), was real spotty contact with him, but I heard from him at the end of the week. Then saw him last Monday. I dunno, he probably is getting bored. *shrugs*

We're supposedly supposed to go out sometime this week, but who knows. Those plans were talked about prior to him going out of town. :/

Posted by LIBRA1234

Posted by CluelessCancer

I would in order:

Delete and block FB
Delete and Block phone number

He'll get the message. 🙂

That's my style 🙂

Unless you need closure. In that case u can contact him and hear what you already knew/felt

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Oh, believe me, I was so close to doing that last night. But I have an Aries temper, so I know to wait it out and figure out wtf I want to do when I'm not pissed off in the moment.

Posted by sewdope
Ha! My first reaction would be to delete and angrily stomp off but I know better now than to make snap judgements I would later regret. I think that if you already have your mind made up of what should happen, there's no harm in contacting first so you can be free of the situation. I think he is taking your kindness and laid back personality as a sign of weakness and he's testing his boundaries. I don't know all of the details or the history but that was my initial thought.

Haha, thanks for responding. I was just thinking about how I should have posted this in the Aries forum because I need some Aries input as well!

I've had the same thing come to mind, too. It's why I waffled on the no contact bit.

"Well shit, if I want to talk to him for sure, I need to contact." And it's not like he's been cold, standoffish, or any of that. Just ridiculously shitty with contact lately. The rest I pin on age. Guys are so retarded around this age in life. I've talked to so many guy friends who are like "gawd, I did so much stupid shit when I was in my early 20s. Don't know why. Just because I could!"

Posted by oldskoolflavor
libra men are apex pussies

Haha. You think he's trying to bow out, too?

Posted by kraftwerk
"And it's not like he's been cold, standoffish, or any of that. Just ridiculously shitty with contact lately. The rest I pin on age. Guys are so retarded around this age in life. I've talked to so many guy friends who are like "gawd, I did so much stupid shit when I was in my early 20s. Don't know why. Just because I could!"

This right here.

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Well duh. You're the one who said that. :p

Sent out a text. Not holding my breath.

Posted by CluelessCancer

I would in order:

Delete and block FB
Delete and Block phone number

He'll get the message. 🙂

+ 1 , stick a fork in him , he's done.

Posted by sunb1rd
a couple of pointers
- he is passively letting you know you're not a priority by openly talking to other girls. oh he knows you know
- you nagged at him and the typical air sign rejects criticism, especially towards intelligence/memory. you're not his wife
- 4 months is equivalent to eternity or 5 minutes to an air sign. it means nothing to him.
- air signs don't know what they want. but they know what they don't want & will toss it overboard in an instant if they could. Libra just make it harder for themselves (& ultimately YOU) because they lack the initiative to do so directly & without killing your feelings in the process.
- gender roles. That and Libra hate being lectured (something you seem to do a lot of here, but cannot assume you do the same in rl). HATE it. Libra & discipline don't work together well it seems.

You need a 30yo+ Libra if you want one, they've all been through this rigmarole before. Almost all. 😉

Your patience with this guy is astounding but he is not at all keen on you. The only reason he hasn't told you to shove off is because he's waiting for his other options to fail.

Please tell me where I was "nagging" him? I have never nagged him, nor have I lectured him. Did you miss the part where I even said I've basically been TOO NICE to him? So you can kindly fuck off with the "you're not his wife" bit.

Also, why would he tell me to shove off if his other options were to fail? Wouldn't he want them to be promising in order to ditch me?

Thanks for pitching in, but no. I'm all for honest advice and varying outlooks to better formulate what I should appropriately do, but you're kinda off base in some of what you said.

Posted by LIBRA1234

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Sent out a text. Not holding my breath.

Any updates? did he respond?

click to expand

Yep. Told me how tired he was from the day- I loled because last night was when he was watching movies and texting that chick/friend/whoever she was.
He gave me yet another bs busy thing about this week. I reminded him that he said he'd be down to do something this week, which is why I asked. "I wasn't aware of how busy I'd be this week." ..uh huh.
I didn't want to get into it via text, so I just told him that I understood to an extent but that I'm starting to feel like a booty call.

He apologized, said he didn't want me to feel like that, and is supposedly going to try to get something set up within the next week. We'll see. *cough*

All I really want to do at this point is just sit him down, talk about it, obvious or not, and get things cleared up. I realized that regardless of outcome, I don't want this to be a repeat of the ex- too much not really addressed and it makes for awkward presence when and if we see eachother. I like the guy enough that if all this were to end, I'd like for things to be on good/understood terms and nothing left hanging to leave room for animosity.

Besides, he may be a colleague some day if I go into the grad school program I'm aiming for. Politics! :p

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by libragemmale

Posted by CluelessCancer

I would in order:

Delete and block FB
Delete and Block phone number

He'll get the message. 🙂

+ 1 , stick a fork in him , he's done.

+1 another one

Maybe I'm just immature but I don't see the point in sitting him down to talk. Do you really think you'll get any honest answers out of him? I understand the need for closure. But, it doesn't seem like dude is capable of being direct and honest enough to give it to you.

You can get your closure from knowing you did what makes sense based on how he's been acting lately.

Deleting may be a little dramatic, considering you may deal with him in the future. I'd just drop off the face of the earth. And when he contacted me, I'd play it cool and be extremely unavailable.

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Actually, it would be a bit immature to just drop off the face of the planet considering he always replies when I initiate. He's never once ignored a text when I've sent it. Now say if he was to behave like this and ignore me when I try to initiate, then hell yeah, dropped and gone. Besides, it was a tad promising he didn't skirt the issue when I called him out on making me feel like a booty call. I half expected him to because it's easy to be evasive via text. *shrugs*

You're a Libra anyway. It's your style to just drop off the face of the planet, so of course you don't think that confrontation is the proper course of action. 😉 It's how we Aries roll, yo.

Posted by SweetLibra

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by LIBRA1234

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Sent out a text. Not holding my breath.

Any updates? did he respond?

Yep. Told me how tired he was from the day- I loled because last night was when he was watching movies and texting that chick/friend/whoever she was.
He gave me yet another bs busy thing about this week. I reminded him that he said he'd be down to do something this week, which is why I asked. "I wasn't aware of how busy I'd be this week." ..uh huh.
I didn't want to get into it via text, so I just told him that I understood to an extent but that I'm starting to feel like a booty call.

He apologized, said he didn't want me to feel like that, and is supposedly going to try to get something set up within the next week. We'll see. *cough*

All I really want to do at this point is just sit him down, talk about it, obvious or not, and get things cleared up. I realized that regardless of outcome, I don't want this to be a repeat of the ex- too much not really addressed and it makes for awkward presence when and if we see eachother. I like the guy enough that if all this were to end, I'd like for things to be on good/understood terms and nothing left hanging to leave room for animosity.

Besides, he may be a colleague some day if I go into the grad school program I'm aiming for. Politics! :p

Good for you Rocky. That's a good way to look at it. Yeah get him face to face and talk it out.

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Not really holding any expectations other than the obvious. He's told me how he likes that I keep it real. Maybe it's that Virgo placement. :p

Besides, if he continues to be "too busy" and flakes out again after this, I can drop him asap. Afterall, I've now made it known I'm not okay with that bs and it's affecting me negatively. 🙂

Posted by Leeeebra
The point of the description is this: if you would like to bring who you are, your method of communication to the table, then he has to have that level of maturity to recognize that and let you in (break of self), otherwise, if he is not yet that mature, if you are OK with just finding out what he is about, where he is at, who he is down deep. Then it is important you create an atmosphere where he can relax and open up, how energy will be exchanged while you are with him actually is speaking to him. Listen to what he has to say with acceptance rather than stand-offish attitude, you may soon notice a difference how the two of you communicate.
It's not easy dealing with Libras especially when we have not matured yet, so it's all up to asking yourself that question of what do you want to do? Your own willingness and commitment. If we want stuff to work, then we??d got to figure out ways that are actually working with proven results. Good luck rocky.

Thanks for the tidbit, but this isn't my first rodeo.

Posted by sewdope
Yea... Sounds good! I hope you're able to get to the bottom of this. I'm the same in terms of needing closure and leaving things on good terms. I wasn't always though. I'd do the whole stalk off bit only to be not nearly as angry a few days later and wonder how the dude is doing. lol

Haha, yep! Get pissed and then get over it.

I'm less annoyed and pensive as I was when I first posted this, tbh. It's like meh, over thinking about it atm.

Posted by size zero superhero
If you two are mutually-exclusive, this is entirely unacceptable conduct on his behalf and a deal-breaker on all counts.

Alternately if you're currently in a state of limbo or *just friends*, this doesn't excuse his part-time interest in you/apparent fascination with other 'options' over on the sidelines, nonetheless. However, assuming that's the case, his recent behavior may be caused by uncertainty over where he stands with you.

Has he shown greater initiative toward you than you have with him? This might lead the way for misunderstandings, if he's usually the one reaching out. Although you respond, perhaps he was under the impression he's more into you than you are him.
For what it's worth, it's quite possible this issue could be resolved through direct communication.

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I love your posts.

It's more like the latter category though. Fortunately, so far it's been pretty 50/50. Well, until recently, that is.

You know, I was thinking a bit about the concept of his girl friends vs my guy friends. You mentioned it but I didn't think much of it because I haven't really seen it as applicable to the situation.

I saw something mentioned in another thread about the same idea- he can but you can't.

I kept trying to figure out wtf brought on the change, especially since it happened right after my birthday. I thought maybe my behavior may have had him kinda eh- I was in a really good mood that night, so I was super chatty and kinda Aries hyper and all that. I don't normally act like that around him so it's like oh shit I scared him, haha.

Then it dawned on me- out of the 15 there, 10 were guys. Wonder if that had anything to do with it. :/

lol

Vindictive bitch much? Go ahead, try. You still trump a majority of the females here in the nut job department.

Thanks for playing though. Now get the hell off the stage. You're making a fucking fool out yourself. 🙂

Posted by rockyroadicecream
lol

Vindictive bitch much? Go ahead, try. You still trump a majority of the females here in the nut job department.

Thanks for playing though. Now get the hell off the stage. You're making a fucking fool out yourself. 🙂

+1

Gotta luv Rocky

Amy, she's telling it like she sees it, just as you did her!

Posted by sweethearts
Amy, she's telling it like she sees it, just as you did her!

No, what's happening is she's gloating at the fact that we're dealing with guy issues.

I told it to her straight, yes. So did everyone else. She goes around, harassing people to help her, yet doesn't listen. She's an "advice" seeker. Meaning she wants advice, but only what she wants to hear.

She's a rampant serial dater. In the last year she's posted about several guys. She cannot be alone. So she tolerates the issues that she has with the current guy and ignores all advice given to her because she cannot handle being single.

But hey, whatever she wants to do.

However, for her to turn around and basically rub this stuff in our faces speaks volumes about her character. She has zero place rubbing anything in our faces. I have not posted 57835438 threads about one guy and all the zillions of issues I've had with him. This is the only specific thread that I have created about him and issues that I've had with him. This is the first time I've also brought up the issues I've had with him.

I'm also very aware of what is going on in my scenario and plan to act accordingly. Unlike her, I will not be all talk and no action.

If my recent post came off as overthinking, fine. Think what you'd like. I was addressing a question earlier in the thread that asked what could have changed. With all the discussion of guys vs girl friends, this tidbit dawned on me as the only possible thing that could have caused change. Who the hell knows, and at this moment, I really don't care all that much. My next plan of attack is still to talk to him if I can. If I can't do that, then I'm done.

The end.

Point is that dumb bitch has no place gloating when she's proven what a piss poor individual she is when it comes to dating. At least I practice what I preach.

Posted by LIBRA1234

Posted by leoliza
overthinking overthinking overthinking.

for all your bitching on other people's posts you sure are doing a lot of overthinking.

he's not into you. move on.

hey girl, since when did you become so bitter? everything ok with your lib?

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She's merely capitalizing on the opportunity to rub something personal in my face after all those times she hated being told the truth in her ridiculous behavior. I keep telling you guys, this bitch is a piece of work. I saw it all before she came to the Libra forum. I knew when I posted this thread, she'd come along and behave like a jack ass. *shrugs*

Posted by LIBRA1234
@rocky - u should be a lawyer

The suits are too ugly

Of course she is! And can you blame her?? You have been ruthless in your deliverance but that does not make what she sees any less valid. How many times have you yourself told someone if a guy wants you, he will move heaven and earth to be with you. They stop at nothing to spend time with you, no excuses!

Tbh, I'm surprised there aren't more people in here trying to whoop your arse!

Posted by sweethearts
Of course she is! And can you blame her?? You have been ruthless in your deliverance but that does not make what she sees any less valid. How many times have you yourself told someone if a guy wants you, he will move heaven and earth to be with you. They stop at nothing to spend time with you, no excuses!

Tbh, I'm surprised there aren't more people in here trying to whoop your arse!

That's because most people can read.

Is there anywhere in my post if I'm asking if he's into me? I didn't post this in regard to "OMG IS HE INTO ME." Since you both failed to see, I already acknowledged that and am fully aware of what's going on. The only thing I questioned was how I wanted to best handle this next.

She's just being immature and vindictive and you're just being devil's advocate and defending a drama queen. Now, be gone. You're doing nothing but perpetuating drama.

You didn't ask, but you are here trying to figure out exactly that! Take your own advice that you so freely give to everyone else and be gone!

Saturday night, I finally had my "fuck this" moment.

I just stopped caring- about all of it. He wants to fuck around, fine. He wants to be "too busy," fine. I just don't care. I had zero desire to get in touch with him, and I'm tired of my inquisitive mind wondering about misc. bs. (I do wonder if that Aries moon had anything to do with it, because it was that week only that I felt stuck in my head, processing what needed to be done).

I realized that this is no longer fun for me.

This epiphany occurred later in the evening, after I'd already been in touch with him earlier that day. It came to me during a silent stretch on his part. So from that point on, I was now in "fuck it" mode.

Lo and behold the next day, for first time in about 2 weeks, he contacted me first. ...then again on Monday.

El oh el.

I'm pretty amused, actually. I swear, guys have a freaking radar for that shit. But I've been busy the last 2 days and haven't really felt much urge to contact him. I love when I get to this point when bs like this happens. It's freeing.

I've just reverted to where I was in the very beginning- indifference with an open mind.

Anyway, thought I'd follow up to wrap up this thread for now and share the lolz.

THEY HAS THAT RADAR.

Posted by tiziani
It's cool to have feelings for people and take an L for that every now and then. How else can we learn?

I've never really understood why you're both afraid to lose face in front of one another here, but it's not my place to understand nor would I want to.

LL and Rocky, when I speak to you one on one you're both cool people with a lot of intuition. And ironically you both have high, near pedestal status, expectations out of life. Only difference is one externalizes those expectations and the other internalizes them. If you ever crossed paths in real life I'd suspect you'd be buying each other drinks, a few laughs, and all the guys radar in the room would be honing in on figuring out why these two are the life of that particular party.

What the hell does this have to do with the topic of the thread, let alone my last post? Thanks for helping make yet another thread about her and her attention whoring.

I've blocked her anyway, so addressing her is absolutely pointless since I have no idea wtf you're talking about.

Posted by Sugarfoot
Ahhh...sweet indifference. Bliss 😄

Right? The first time I finally experienced this was with my Cap fwb. I had my mulling it over period. Kinda was wait and see about some of it, fully aware of all the bs going on. Then one day, poof. Aries ice went into full effect and my telling him to eff off and feeling indifferent was an awesome feeling.

This situation is different in the aspect that he's not being an abusive pos, so it's less "fuck off" and more "meh. Eff it. I'm taking my ball and going home. Get back to me when you have your shit together."