When is Divorce OK?
This topic was created in the Libra forum by Thairis on Tuesday, February 3, 2009 and has 20 replies.
Oops...
I've been coming around 4 a while..
My question is personal in nature of course... Who would post such a thing.
I do not intent to let too much out here... so if you have anything to say ok and if you don't ok...
Please be constructive of distructive I am a total Libra I can take it...
I've been coming around 4 a while..
My question is personal in nature of course... Who would post such a thing.
I do not intent to let too much out here... so if you have anything to say ok and if you don't ok...
Please be constructive of distructive I am a total Libra I can take it...
when you know you dont want to spend the rest of your life with that person because for whatever reason which is generally in excess you cant really bare the thought!
according to you vl-c. For others it differs and you cant enforce your opinion!
thanks for that, sorry touchy subject with me and my religious ex...
When you are unable to gain balance no matter how much you put up with for a while.
divorce is ok in 2009
--- trust me no one will blink
--- trust me no one will blink
hahhaahhaha...
when there is no new woman in the company he could ask for "fun and joy hours" cause they all are mad at him. And the wife finally has gotton tired that she always has to realize his changing moods when he falls in love, has a fever and is left alone with her again.
But some wives can also work this out. for the sake of children.
But some wives can also work this out. for the sake of children.
adultery.
when your values are completely divergent.
Yeppers
Adultery and/or any form of abuse. No excuses accepted!
I agree 200% , I'm sorry but theres no intervention strong enough to prevent me from living after any sort of adultery or abuse.
when your values are completely divergent.
Yeppers
Adultery and/or any form of abuse. No excuses accepted!
I agree 200% , I'm sorry but theres no intervention strong enough to prevent me from living after any sort of adultery or abuse.
I do believe that some people have a hard time walking away. Much is sad because so mush life is lost that way. To stay in an unhappy situation is a waste, no matter how self-less you may be.
Religion plays a role for sure, much is funny because I'm very spiritual ... but I wouldn't live with someone if I'm unhappy. I simply couldn't, I'd cause way too much chaos if I couldn't divorce and find someone else. I hate feeling kept or trapped somewhere. I don't like responsibities being thrown upon me either -- I like having control of my life.
Religion plays a role for sure, much is funny because I'm very spiritual ... but I wouldn't live with someone if I'm unhappy. I simply couldn't, I'd cause way too much chaos if I couldn't divorce and find someone else. I hate feeling kept or trapped somewhere. I don't like responsibities being thrown upon me either -- I like having control of my life.
but I wouldn't live with someone if I'm unhappy.
you know what's funny --- I was raised very traditional and religious so I've known people that actually believe 'marriage is happiness' so no matter the cost, you're in for life
Now that can't seem to sink into my little brain
you know what's funny --- I was raised very traditional and religious so I've known people that actually believe 'marriage is happiness' so no matter the cost, you're in for life
Now that can't seem to sink into my little brain
Now that can't seem to sink into my little brain
Me neither
I am very spiritual but in a sense that I believe that things are what they are and nothing is what is seems.
Plus, if you don't make yourself happy than its impossible to make someone else happy. haha, you can fake it but that will full apart too.
Me neither
I am very spiritual but in a sense that I believe that things are what they are and nothing is what is seems.Plus, if you don't make yourself happy than its impossible to make someone else happy. haha, you can fake it but that will full apart too.
Marriage is not like dating.
Thairis,
This is an incredibly BROAD question because what you are really asking is what is marriage. I don't think the end of something can be defined before you define the beginning. Why did you get married to this man in the first place? What was it and what did marriage mean to you at the time. Unfortunetly, I don't think anyone can answer these questions but you and the partner involved.
I tend to think relationships especially marriage as the sacred ground between two souls. It makes it very murkey for other people to walk around in. From a soul perspective, I think a marriage can only be ended when the contract between the souls has finished, the lessons have been learned, the karma has been balanced, and you can leave with love, compassion, and understanding for both of you. Although you may physically seperate and divorce before then, the relationship/marriage does not end until you have reach a level of grace between you. Of course, that is hard to achieve.
In practical terms, I think for me substance abuse or addictions, physical violence, criminal behaviour, violent behaviour, are all reasons why I may pursue a divorce. Infidelity is a bit more of a grey area as I can see why it is devastating but at the same time, I think it is something that could be worked out if both partners are willing.
I think the whole thing comes down to misplaced expectations. Sometimes we look to our partner to fill us up not realizing we need to fill ourselves sometimes too.
One of my friends told me she heard a self-help guru say the best wedding vows are "I like you very much, let's see how it goes." That in a marriage it is the expectation for the other to be your happiness (sort of like someone earlier was saying) that is the very killer of it. That in a marriage both of you are responsible for being your best self, maintaining your happiness, and bringing it forth every day.
This is an incredibly BROAD question because what you are really asking is what is marriage. I don't think the end of something can be defined before you define the beginning. Why did you get married to this man in the first place? What was it and what did marriage mean to you at the time. Unfortunetly, I don't think anyone can answer these questions but you and the partner involved.
I tend to think relationships especially marriage as the sacred ground between two souls. It makes it very murkey for other people to walk around in. From a soul perspective, I think a marriage can only be ended when the contract between the souls has finished, the lessons have been learned, the karma has been balanced, and you can leave with love, compassion, and understanding for both of you. Although you may physically seperate and divorce before then, the relationship/marriage does not end until you have reach a level of grace between you. Of course, that is hard to achieve.
In practical terms, I think for me substance abuse or addictions, physical violence, criminal behaviour, violent behaviour, are all reasons why I may pursue a divorce. Infidelity is a bit more of a grey area as I can see why it is devastating but at the same time, I think it is something that could be worked out if both partners are willing.
I think the whole thing comes down to misplaced expectations. Sometimes we look to our partner to fill us up not realizing we need to fill ourselves sometimes too.
One of my friends told me she heard a self-help guru say the best wedding vows are "I like you very much, let's see how it goes." That in a marriage it is the expectation for the other to be your happiness (sort of like someone earlier was saying) that is the very killer of it. That in a marriage both of you are responsible for being your best self, maintaining your happiness, and bringing it forth every day.
Walking away from someone you have promised to witness and help through life, is a tough, tough, tough call. It can only be made between the souls involved, for their own reasons.
I think you need to look into your soul and truly ask if the purpose of this relationship has been served. If you must go, don't go with bitterness .. go with much grace, love, forgivess as you can muster.
I wish you tons of love my friend during your tough times.
I think you need to look into your soul and truly ask if the purpose of this relationship has been served. If you must go, don't go with bitterness .. go with much grace, love, forgivess as you can muster.
I wish you tons of love my friend during your tough times.
As a Librian and a women I think you will need to be 100% certain that this is what you want and there is no going back. Librians can be uncertain as the scales are always weighing up whether they are making the right decision or not. i did this for 5 years always thinking things will get better, maybe he will see the light and not sooo driven...Never happened and I almost destroyed myself! Finally i left and after 3 years I've never been soooo happy in my life and with myself. Of course this takes a bit of adjusting and you really have to come out of your shell and also be SELFISH because it's the only way to get by. You have to grow extra skin because people always have opinions!!
So if this is your road, be prepared... and if you decide to divorce, KNOW that you in fact divorce his whole family and alot of your friends too.
So if this is your road, be prepared... and if you decide to divorce, KNOW that you in fact divorce his whole family and alot of your friends too.
it is ok when subjected to mental, emotional and physical cruelty by a spouse with spouse refusing counseling.
it is ok when you feel your personal safety is threatened.
it is ok when you know you did all you could to save the marriage.
it is ok if spouse abandons you physical and emotionally.
it is ok when you feel your personal safety is threatened.
it is ok when you know you did all you could to save the marriage.
it is ok if spouse abandons you physical and emotionally.
First let me just say Thank you all.
I hope because I didn't divulge too much that the answers seemed true and honest.
I am not sure what a blind post is however, let me say a couple more things.
I know it is me who seeks the answer to this situation.
I have heard many times, that people "find" each other again, even fall back in love. It is not the case with me.
Not only is there no love, there is separate lives being lived. Each of us has found our paths.... we continue to say we are married, but hardly ever see each other or even care.
Odd perhaps... But I truly seek more.
Thank you again...
I hope because I didn't divulge too much that the answers seemed true and honest.
I am not sure what a blind post is however, let me say a couple more things.
I know it is me who seeks the answer to this situation.
I have heard many times, that people "find" each other again, even fall back in love. It is not the case with me.
Not only is there no love, there is separate lives being lived. Each of us has found our paths.... we continue to say we are married, but hardly ever see each other or even care.
Odd perhaps... But I truly seek more.
Thank you again...
Anything is possible. You might discover each other with sufficient amount of effort from either side. You might end up being happy with someone new as well. Its not bad taking another effort to mend it. But being a libra, we kinda overdo that act for the sake of being in a relationship and we begin to get lazy to find a new one and hallucinate ourselves into believing that this one is the best.
at the very root of all these dilemma's, you might find a simple fact that you cant make someone else happy unless you are truly happy on your own. So i often think that its worth taking efforts to keep ourselves happy and balanced and sometimes at any reasonable cost. Even if it means venting out a bit of anger or violence or being totally selfish.
I guess you do have a scorpio partner. Dont remember exactly. Personally I wouldnt try to mend a situation if its not an air or fire sign in the first place. Bcoz experience says that its useless and only time consuming to mend anything with water and earth bcoz they would go back to their original nature within a short while.
at the very root of all these dilemma's, you might find a simple fact that you cant make someone else happy unless you are truly happy on your own. So i often think that its worth taking efforts to keep ourselves happy and balanced and sometimes at any reasonable cost. Even if it means venting out a bit of anger or violence or being totally selfish.
I guess you do have a scorpio partner. Dont remember exactly. Personally I wouldnt try to mend a situation if its not an air or fire sign in the first place. Bcoz experience says that its useless and only time consuming to mend anything with water and earth bcoz they would go back to their original nature within a short while.
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