when u miss some1, what do u do?
This topic was created in the Libra forum by 1_fine_gem on Friday, March 23, 2007 and has 50 replies.
librans?
and how log does it take for you to forget someone u like? just curious. I mean, super curious.
and how log does it take for you to forget someone u like? just curious. I mean, super curious.
Love?
Couple years.
Couple years.
LOL gem...I think that the person would be on their mind for quite some time but you'd probably never know about it.
It takes us a while to realize that we are missing someone. As someone else pointed out earlier, we always carry a mental image of our loved ones with us. And we keep talking to them and cuddling them inside our brain.
What thelibran said. Very true. Once the realiztion does sink in that someone is gone it can be overwhelming at times. Sometimes I'll sleep in a strange place because it gets to be too much. After my last serious relationship ended, we lived together and shared a bed for years...I slept on the couch for several weeks because I still had our bed and didn't want to be in it.
Come to think of it that might be why after a cirtain relationhip I alwayse stay with the girl instead of bringing her home.
Come to think of it that might be why after a cirtain relationhip I alwayse stay with the girl instead of bringing her home.
awwww that's just so sweet.
But right at about two weeks I was sleeping with someone else and that helped things out pretty good.
When she stayed at my place though I almost felt I was commiting some sort of crime though. She could tell too.
When she stayed at my place though I almost felt I was commiting some sort of crime though. She could tell too.
Actually I can relate to that very well....
*sigh*
*sigh*
Another good question (well I think it is anyway so ner)....how do you feel when you know somebody is walking away? do you try harder to pursuade them to stay or do you let them just go, given that you do have strong feelings for them? Personally I have found mine to just keep pulling me back (things are good now but it would be interesting to understand why he did/does this, rather than just say I want you around). Is there some wicked thrill in knowing somebody is going to go and then getting them back in?
" Is there some wicked thrill in knowing somebody is going to go and then getting them back in?"
No, it's because in the end we don't want to convince anyone to do anything, we want them to make their decision on their own free will. I think sometimes we see it as week or begging to try and persuade someone to stay.
I have very few times tried to persuade a relationship to continue. I have once...I think just once but that was after 4.5 years of building and I was putting everything on the line as far as vulnerability is concerned in trying to persuade that person.
If you love it let it go.....as they say, so usually no, if your on your way out I'm not going to open the door for you but I'm also not going to try and hold it closed either.
Most of the time we have conveyed who we are and what we want pretty well, we know you know this, if you want the same thing you'll stay...if not, no ones stopping you. I don't like feeling I have manipulated anyone into their decision.
If love conquers all, and they are willing to walk away then it isn't really love, or it isn't a brand of love I am willing to subscribe too.
I think the only exception would be when the other person stresses over the little things and basically talks themselves out of the relationship. At that point I will counter them, but it is more for the purpose of helping them realize that the problem is them, not us or me.
No, it's because in the end we don't want to convince anyone to do anything, we want them to make their decision on their own free will. I think sometimes we see it as week or begging to try and persuade someone to stay.
I have very few times tried to persuade a relationship to continue. I have once...I think just once but that was after 4.5 years of building and I was putting everything on the line as far as vulnerability is concerned in trying to persuade that person.
If you love it let it go.....as they say, so usually no, if your on your way out I'm not going to open the door for you but I'm also not going to try and hold it closed either.
Most of the time we have conveyed who we are and what we want pretty well, we know you know this, if you want the same thing you'll stay...if not, no ones stopping you. I don't like feeling I have manipulated anyone into their decision.
If love conquers all, and they are willing to walk away then it isn't really love, or it isn't a brand of love I am willing to subscribe too.
I think the only exception would be when the other person stresses over the little things and basically talks themselves out of the relationship. At that point I will counter them, but it is more for the purpose of helping them realize that the problem is them, not us or me.
***I have very few times tried to persuade a relationship to continue. I have once...I think just once but that was after 4.5 years of building and I was putting everything on the line as far as vulnerability is concerned in trying to persuade that person. ***
And I am sure that is with a scorpio. My ex has tried to persuade me over and over again, however, like you said we were married and we had been together 8 years and had a child together, so I guess that is him putting everything on the line.
And I am sure that is with a scorpio. My ex has tried to persuade me over and over again, however, like you said we were married and we had been together 8 years and had a child together, so I guess that is him putting everything on the line.
Hmmm interesting topic. What about if you both decided that it wasn't going to be and you keep sending subtle text messages, that indicate in a way you miss that person. Like " I have been well just a little lonely, no one to really talk to lately"?
OK that's a good response but in my case he knew I was going to walk and wasn't prepared to commit but didnt want me "moving on" with somebody else whilst he could stay on his singles sites continue to look for somebody better to come along.....as I said, things are going well now but that behaviour did have me quite perplexed.
*Hmmm interesting topic. What about if you both decided that it wasn't going to be and you keep sending subtle text messages, that indicate in a way you miss that person. Like " I have been well just a little lonely, no one to really talk to lately"?*
QS that's kinda what I was going through as per above......just when you think its over, those texts, calls, chats came up!! I was and still think that the "subtle" texts, etc are them wanting you but not giving you what you really want or deserve. In a friends only environment I would say give them a call if they only want to "really talk"
*Hmmm interesting topic. What about if you both decided that it wasn't going to be and you keep sending subtle text messages, that indicate in a way you miss that person. Like " I have been well just a little lonely, no one to really talk to lately"?*
QS that's kinda what I was going through as per above......just when you think its over, those texts, calls, chats came up!! I was and still think that the "subtle" texts, etc are them wanting you but not giving you what you really want or deserve. In a friends only environment I would say give them a call if they only want to "really talk"
***just when you think its over, those texts, calls, chats came up!! I was and still think that the "subtle" texts, etc are them wanting you but not giving you what you really want or deserve. In a friends only environment I would say give them a call if they only want to "really talk"***
Naw, if he wants to talk he needs to call and talk. My response was, "I know how that can be. Not being able to connect comfortably with anyone else, I am sure you know just what to do about that." Ofcourse, no response. I am not doing the guessing thing anymore. The emotions have faded. If he wants to talk I am here but that is it. Just here to be his friend, nothing more. I can't help it, I am a scorp and I have walked.
Naw, if he wants to talk he needs to call and talk. My response was, "I know how that can be. Not being able to connect comfortably with anyone else, I am sure you know just what to do about that." Ofcourse, no response. I am not doing the guessing thing anymore. The emotions have faded. If he wants to talk I am here but that is it. Just here to be his friend, nothing more. I can't help it, I am a scorp and I have walked.
I personally never forget anyone, but I have a gift of making my feelings go away. Its sort of like transferring energy from one source to another. If I end a relationship (being a relationship type person), it's for a damned good reason. So, when I'm done, I'm done. I usually wind up loosing the person as a friend as well, because they think my feelings faded too soon. It leads them to believe I never felt anything for them, which is not the case. I just don't have time to be sitting around hurt.
Simply said, this Libra never really forget, I just press pause and leave it there.
Simply said, this Libra never really forget, I just press pause and leave it there.
ahhh but that makes you look very cold....its understandable but the losing the friend as a result = hurt on their side!
In my experience with my Libran...he just wouldn't let go (not that I wanted him to either LOL) but wouldn't commit to anything either - he wanted it all without giving anything...pffffttt!!!
In my experience with my Libran...he just wouldn't let go (not that I wanted him to either LOL) but wouldn't commit to anything either - he wanted it all without giving anything...pffffttt!!!
LP explain why you do that? if you still have feelings for someone, can't you just say that you do, but things are not working from your point of view for this reason or that? As Libras and other air signs are supposed to be communicators, this reaction leaves a lot of room open for misunderstanding. Don't you think?
Funny, something Nic said about sleeping in the bed he and his ex was in while together after a break up he wanted to sleep elsewhere. I notice my ex mentioned he was sleeping in the guest room a lot after I moved out.
Also, with my Libra friend I was at his place 90 percent of the time we were involved, he at mine 5 percent and various other areas the other 5 percent. Heehee
Funny, something Nic said about sleeping in the bed he and his ex was in while together after a break up he wanted to sleep elsewhere. I notice my ex mentioned he was sleeping in the guest room a lot after I moved out.
Also, with my Libra friend I was at his place 90 percent of the time we were involved, he at mine 5 percent and various other areas the other 5 percent. Heehee
So I wonder where he is sleeping now. On the couch?
possibly QS....Im wondering whether LP is in the minority with how he feels about this subject
"ahhh but that makes you look very cold....its understandable but the losing the friend as a result = hurt on their side!"
Believe me I know. I have tried most of my adult life to change the way I handle these things. Negative emotions don't tip my scales, it knocks 'em down. So self preservation is key to me. I don't handle the pain of lost companionship to well. I'd also try to imagine that I didn't hurt them, as hurting the other person made me feel horrible. Then I would try to patch things up so that I'm sure they're alright. This is not good medicine and it only leads to even more hurt to the other person further down the road. So, I'd rather appear cold than to waste mine and someone else's time. Life is too short.
Believe me I know. I have tried most of my adult life to change the way I handle these things. Negative emotions don't tip my scales, it knocks 'em down. So self preservation is key to me. I don't handle the pain of lost companionship to well. I'd also try to imagine that I didn't hurt them, as hurting the other person made me feel horrible. Then I would try to patch things up so that I'm sure they're alright. This is not good medicine and it only leads to even more hurt to the other person further down the road. So, I'd rather appear cold than to waste mine and someone else's time. Life is too short.
good answer
LP, good answer, just needs to made clear that is where you are coming from when this is actually happening. So both parties will be clear.
QS, I'm always clear and straight forward. I don't cheat anyone out of their feelings. This is where hurting them comes from. I just need me a well rounded, mature, Scorp woman *wink* ..heheh. I've heard they breed them in the windy city.
*I'm smiling uncontrollably*
Ok I'll stop now. I glanced at the mirror to the right of me and I look retarded...LOL
*I'm smiling uncontrollably*
Ok I'll stop now. I glanced at the mirror to the right of me and I look retarded...LOL
**** Blushes****
Wow that damn charm gets me everytime. I am beet red. Okay now I look retarded. You guys are the only ones that can do that to me. Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous...
Wow that damn charm gets me everytime. I am beet red. Okay now I look retarded. You guys are the only ones that can do that to me. Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous...
I hear ATL has mature chocolate Libras mmmmmm.
I actually have a brother and two nieces who live in ATL. One of my close friends are moving there next month. So I am there once in awhile...
Nope... Nope... Just one. hehheh
You should definitely let me know Ms. Queen.
Just one? Wow and how fortunate would I be to actually get to meet that one during one of my visits to the ATL... Hmmm, I wonder?
*** You should definitely let me know Ms. Queen***
Will I get a personal tour guide?
Will I get a personal tour guide?
"Will I get a personal tour guide?"
No doubt. Careful with the sting though, I bruise easily.
No doubt. Careful with the sting though, I bruise easily.
LP, I don't sting those I admire. In fact I can be very careful you don't get bruised.
"So, when I'm done, I'm done. I usually wind up loosing the person as a friend as well, because they think my feelings faded too soon. It leads them to believe I never felt anything for them, which is not the case. I just don't have time to be sitting around hurt. "
Actually I relate to this a lot. The Scorp girl was pretty much the only out of normal situation, and once it was apparent we were breaking up I was completely cold with her. Not mean, not hurt, just completely cold and objective. This usually upsets people a lot but it's one thing to have my heart, it's another to stand their and look at it.
I am usually accused of being a jerk or just playing the other person when the relationship ends because of this. I have told several people in those break ups where the other person wants to leave it open to a future possibility of getting back together that if they aren't sure then they never really knew and I am already done with it.
It sounds cold to everyone else but I totally understand where your comming from. It may hurt like hell inside but as far as they are concerned everything we had is already completely meaningless.
Actually I relate to this a lot. The Scorp girl was pretty much the only out of normal situation, and once it was apparent we were breaking up I was completely cold with her. Not mean, not hurt, just completely cold and objective. This usually upsets people a lot but it's one thing to have my heart, it's another to stand their and look at it.
I am usually accused of being a jerk or just playing the other person when the relationship ends because of this. I have told several people in those break ups where the other person wants to leave it open to a future possibility of getting back together that if they aren't sure then they never really knew and I am already done with it.
It sounds cold to everyone else but I totally understand where your comming from. It may hurt like hell inside but as far as they are concerned everything we had is already completely meaningless.
What I actually feel and what they see are COMPLETELY different things.
Somehow I usually manage friendship afterwards though.
Somehow I usually manage friendship afterwards though.
Wow nic that is something to think about. Now why haven't you answered my mail?
Iv'e been busy completely avoiding all the shit I need to get done. Alch is probably going to yell at me for posting right now as I am supposed to be getting shit done lol. But I saw LP's post and had to add.
I'll get back to you soon I promise.
I'll get back to you soon I promise.
"Alch is probably going to yell at me for posting right now as I am supposed to be getting shit done lol."
** puts cute, little drill sargeant costume on **
What the hell do you think you are doing, soldier?!?!? Only steers and queers use message boards, and you don't look much like a steer!
Get your ass off the message board and in gear, bitch!!
How was that?
** puts cute, little drill sargeant costume on **
What the hell do you think you are doing, soldier?!?!? Only steers and queers use message boards, and you don't look much like a steer!
Get your ass off the message board and in gear, bitch!!
How was that? "Alch is probably going to yell at me for posting right now as I am supposed to be getting butter done lol."
** puts cute, little drill sargeant costume on **
What the hell do you think you are doing, soldier?!?!? Only steers and queers use message boards, and you don't look much like a steer!
Get your ass off the message board and in gear, cookiemonster!!
How was that? "
One more time. I lost you at "what the hell..." as I already had your cute little drill sargeant costume off and you thrown on the bed. Sorry, I had to get the fiesty out of you so I could focus on my work here.
** puts cute, little drill sargeant costume on **
What the hell do you think you are doing, soldier?!?!? Only steers and queers use message boards, and you don't look much like a steer!
Get your ass off the message board and in gear, cookiemonster!!
How was that? "
One more time. I lost you at "what the hell..." as I already had your cute little drill sargeant costume off and you thrown on the bed. Sorry, I had to get the fiesty out of you so I could focus on my work here.
LOL you two!!!
Nope,i had a boyfriend for 7 years. We also shared a bed and a flat for the last year. When it ended, i can honestly, hand on heart say i was upset for maybe 5 days and then i was over it. I had too much else to think about, myself, the bills, university, the pets etc. About 6 months later i started to wonder about him, but never enough to consider myelf missng him. I dont, at all. Not because i didnt love him, just because the emotional tie had been broken a while before, and we were just in denial and not being honest with each other about it.
Then i knew an aqua for 2 days, and i missed him sooo much, it was a physical pain. I dont undertsand why im like this, maybe its personal. Libra?s, arrgghhh!! I know that when i miss a person, i keep it in my brain, it wont be known to you verbally. And then when i actually see you, ohmygod, i just want to touch skin and not talk, just be there with you. God, im in a wee romantic mood this afternoon, ahem.
Then i knew an aqua for 2 days, and i missed him sooo much, it was a physical pain. I dont undertsand why im like this, maybe its personal. Libra?s, arrgghhh!! I know that when i miss a person, i keep it in my brain, it wont be known to you verbally. And then when i actually see you, ohmygod, i just want to touch skin and not talk, just be there with you. God, im in a wee romantic mood this afternoon, ahem.
great, gotcha'll!
maybe not love yet...we're just starting, I'm usually the last one to notice if someone's inlove with me, unless of course they tell me..when it comes to emotions, everything is filtered.
reading through your posts though I can tell that I have so many things in common with a libran ( maybe bec. were both air signs)
sorry if i get your answers and dissappear (i am a gem ;( ) skimming/downloading. not good w details...lol..but got it!
maybe not love yet...we're just starting, I'm usually the last one to notice if someone's inlove with me, unless of course they tell me..when it comes to emotions, everything is filtered.
reading through your posts though I can tell that I have so many things in common with a libran ( maybe bec. were both air signs)
sorry if i get your answers and dissappear (i am a gem ;( ) skimming/downloading. not good w details...lol..but got it!
thanks
..
This board has always been affectionate ...
personally never forget anyone, but I have a gift of making my feelings go away. Its sort of like transferring energy from one source to another. If I end a relationship (being a relationship type person), it's for a damned good reason. So, when I'm done, I'm done. I usually wind up loosing the person as a friend as well, because they think my feelings faded too soon. It leads them to believe I never felt anything for them, which is not the case. I just don't have time to be sitting around hurt.
OMG...my sentiments exactly!!!!
OMG...my sentiments exactly!!!!
KG and I bet he enjoyed every bit of it!
that's why i kept this post alive, cause it's about to gt trashed by dxp..i don't how how someone gt post from 7 years ago...these are post i wanted to re-read again
I think every relationship affects us differently. I'll get random memories of a fine lady I enjoyed being with and it will put a great big grin on my face. Then another memory that left me wondering, "What the ??? was I thinking???" But each relationship has been different. Even in breaking up: how long it took; what it felt like; what kind of impact it had on my life. I've been in relationships that felt "heavy" and others that were so carefree that I looked back and said to myself, "Did that really happen with so-and-so? Was I really WITH so-and-so for that long?" And, of course, the times I broke up with someone and later thought, "THAT was sure stupid! I'll NEVER meet anyone as wonderful as her!"
So they're all different.
So they're all different.
when i miss someone i got to dxp. and read all about libra from 1-1000
lol 1 fine gem, just LOL
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