My Chart. Please tell me aint set to stone!

Sun Taurus 1.56
Moon Leo 15.22
Mercury Aries 19.22 R
Venus Gemini 11.11
Mars Cancer 10.37
Jupiter Leo 4.22
Saturn Aquarius 6.21
Uranus Capricorn 13.48 R
Neptune Capricorn 16.46 R
Pluto Scorpio 19.29 R
Lilith Sagittarius 29.33
Asc node Capricorn 22.52
Ascendant Sagittarius 28.10
II Capricorn 27.40
III Aquarius 29.12
IV Aries 2.05
V Taurus 3.30
VI Gemini 1.52
VII Gemini 28.10
VIII Cancer 27.40
IX Leo 29.12
Midheaven Libra 2.05
XI Scorpio 3.30
XII Sagittarius 1.52

And worst of all, this are the parts that made me tear-up a bit:
Neptune in I = Not a fighter and is indecisive.
-210 Opposition Jupiter - Saturn = He is indifferent to what goes on around him, is mistrustful and always unsatisfied. He is easily irritated.
-89 Square Sun - Jupiter = He is negligent, spendthrift.He goes to excesses of all sorts. He is proud and arrogant, and considers himself much superior to others.
-57 Square Mercury - Neptune = He makes errors of judgement, and lacks sincerity. He lets things happen, and is happy in his dreamworld. Confronted by reality, he is hesitant, incapable of being tested and falls back into his imaginary world. He might become a drug-taker.
-56 Square Sun - Saturn = This implies slow intellectual development. 53 Trine Sun - Ascendant
-47 Square Moon - Pluto = He has problems in love. He is jealous, his self-esteem is often quickly held up to ridicule.
I just feel like killing myself now. I have been keeping this a secret the entire time to myself and kept on denying the facts. But its all showing right now where I should be best at most, when I'm finding a job! The silence has been shaken and my foundations are crumbling beneath my feet. The good ones doesn't cover up the bad and I feel sick to my stomach that I have signs like this. There is a part of me that I wish I havent known about this and a part of me wishes to find improvement to cover-up my flaws. Is this set on stone? I wish not. I REALLY REALLY WISH NOT.
... i really wish nott...