Posted by PeanutButterandEllyYea, I think you're right. I think that's why I lack apathy for people like the OP, because I know I survived it and moved on with my life. I forget sometimes that people aren't as strong as I would like them to be.Posted by nikkistarNo you're fine. Everyone has the right to emote about their own experiences however they choose. It's certainly not your job to feel apathy for OP.Posted by PeanutButterandEllyWho says what I experienced is singular though? I'm just not going to sit there and be like "OH THIS AND THIS AND THIS happened to me". It's no one's business, and I think people use their pasts too much as an excuse. Though I understand what you are saying, I lack apathy for people who are like the OP.Posted by nikkistarDifferent backgrounds, upbringings, communities all vary. Circumstances matter a lot. A singular harrowing experience with abuse is traumatic enough, and I'm so sorry you went through that, without even knowing the details.Posted by PeanutButterandEllyThat's why I cant comprehend it. I have an ex from years ago, that was physically and mentally abusive. The horrors I faced with him, showed me the red flags I look out for today.Posted by nikkistarI mean, it's actually makes sense if you look at it subjectively from the OP's perspective.Posted by PeanutButterandEllyYea, but I literally can not logically understand this.Posted by nikkistarIn my experience it's less about intelligence and more about personal history and how someone sees or values themselves.
I still think you're a troll. People can't be this dumb.
But this situation is very believable to me. Mostly cause I've witnessed similar first and secondhand.
If this OP is a real person. She is admitting to a series of abusive relationships in her 48 years of life. And now is in just another abusive relationship in the form of emotional abuse, and she doesn't care cause her vagina is being filled up. I literally can not understand how anyone can give their self respect up all in the name of sex.
If you're in a series of abusive relationships for most of your life and it's all you've known, why would any of the warning signals set off alarms?
If the baseline of your life is that abuse is normalized, then it makes complete sense that when you find partial fulfillment(like in a sexual relationship that's really good) that seems genuinely good compared to enduring abuse with no fulfillment.
That is why I can't understand how she can't see it. I know people react differently, but this is nuts to me.
There definitely are places and people in this world that are born into lives which abuse is reguarly ignored, normalized or even encouraged though.
It's like this perpetual victim complex they want to live with. It's aggravating to me.
I'm just saying, it can make sense. Everyone copes, process and works differently. How and when someone gets out isn't always going to be the same as another. And some honestly don't. Which can be both sad and angering, especially if you've survived yourself.click to expand
Posted by PeanutButterandEllyYea, I think you're right. I think that's why I lack apathy for people like the OP, because I know I survived it and moved on with my life. I forget sometimes that people aren't as strong as I would like them to be.Posted by nikkistarNo you're fine. Everyone has the right to emote about their own experiences however they choose. It's certainly not your job to feel apathy for OP.Posted by PeanutButterandEllyWho says what I experienced is singular though? I'm just not going to sit there and be like "OH THIS AND THIS AND THIS happened to me". It's no one's business, and I think people use their pasts too much as an excuse. Though I understand what you are saying, I lack apathy for people who are like the OP.Posted by nikkistarDifferent backgrounds, upbringings, communities all vary. Circumstances matter a lot. A singular harrowing experience with abuse is traumatic enough, and I'm so sorry you went through that, without even knowing the details.Posted by PeanutButterandEllyThat's why I cant comprehend it. I have an ex from years ago, that was physically and mentally abusive. The horrors I faced with him, showed me the red flags I look out for today.Posted by nikkistarI mean, it's actually makes sense if you look at it subjectively from the OP's perspective.Posted by PeanutButterandEllyYea, but I literally can not logically understand this.Posted by nikkistarIn my experience it's less about intelligence and more about personal history and how someone sees or values themselves.
I still think you're a troll. People can't be this dumb.
But this situation is very believable to me. Mostly cause I've witnessed similar first and secondhand.
If this OP is a real person. She is admitting to a series of abusive relationships in her 48 years of life. And now is in just another abusive relationship in the form of emotional abuse, and she doesn't care cause her vagina is being filled up. I literally can not understand how anyone can give their self respect up all in the name of sex.
If you're in a series of abusive relationships for most of your life and it's all you've known, why would any of the warning signals set off alarms?
If the baseline of your life is that abuse is normalized, then it makes complete sense that when you find partial fulfillment(like in a sexual relationship that's really good) that seems genuinely good compared to enduring abuse with no fulfillment.
That is why I can't understand how she can't see it. I know people react differently, but this is nuts to me.
There definitely are places and people in this world that are born into lives which abuse is reguarly ignored, normalized or even encouraged though.
It's like this perpetual victim complex they want to live with. It's aggravating to me.
I'm just saying, it can make sense. Everyone copes, process and works differently. How and when someone gets out isn't always going to be the same as another. And some honestly don't. Which can be both sad and angering, especially if you've survived yourself.click to expand