Mirroring.

Posted by Timone

I'm not sure I understand the question. 🤔

Someone is mirroring your bad behaviour and you're wondering if you should confront them?

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by Lostthoughts

For the first time in my life, I get it.

It's not bullshit. It's not hypothetical.

I met someone who mirrors like I do.

Its fucking crazy, to be pushed as hard as I am right now.

To be shown your own weaknesses and what you deny to yourself with the spice of not being able to or wanting to run.

Painful as hell. To get your own stubbornness thrown into your face.

Would you call that person on their Shit, knowing you will get the sane treatment?

What if you know it's in their best interest that you do and if you really cared you would step up and do it?

Tough love lol

Would you do it?

Would you do the hardest things for you in life in order to get what you most want without a guarantee, confront your own bullshit?

Or run away?

If I see weakness in someone which is a reflection of my own personality then I will not be worried about what I have to do with them . I will be see my own flaw first and work on them.

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Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

I'm not sure I understand the question. 🤔

Someone is mirroring your bad behaviour and you're wondering if you should confront them?

Lol ya that's a simplified answer. The one difference is she actually acts on the desire while I deny and pretend that I don't want to as well. Which makes we feel like a Hypocrite. I fully understand what's going on but I hide it.

click to expand

Posted by Timone

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

I'm not sure I understand the question. 🤔

Someone is mirroring your bad behaviour and you're wondering if you should confront them?

Lol ya that's a simplified answer. The one difference is she actually acts on the desire while I deny and pretend that I don't want to as well. Which makes we feel like a Hypocrite. I fully understand what's going on but I hide it.

The thing is that we can't control other people's behaviour but our own. So I would focus on my own issues instead of theirs.

click to expand

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

I'm not sure I understand the question. 🤔

Someone is mirroring your bad behaviour and you're wondering if you should confront them?

Lol ya that's a simplified answer. The one difference is she actually acts on the desire while I deny and pretend that I don't want to as well. Which makes we feel like a Hypocrite. I fully understand what's going on but I hide it.

The thing is that we can't control other people's behaviour but our own. So I would focus on my own issues instead of theirs.

Fully aware of that.

If I leave her be, it will get worse for her. I have support pillars in my life she doesn't. So there is a risk.

click to expand

Posted by Timone

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

I'm not sure I understand the question. 🤔

Someone is mirroring your bad behaviour and you're wondering if you should confront them?

Lol ya that's a simplified answer. The one difference is she actually acts on the desire while I deny and pretend that I don't want to as well. Which makes we feel like a Hypocrite. I fully understand what's going on but I hide it.

The thing is that we can't control other people's behaviour but our own. So I would focus on my own issues instead of theirs.

Fully aware of that.

If I leave her be, it will get worse for her. I have support pillars in my life she doesn't. So there is a risk.

What kinda behaviour/problems are we talking about?

click to expand

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

I'm not sure I understand the question. 🤔

Someone is mirroring your bad behaviour and you're wondering if you should confront them?

Lol ya that's a simplified answer. The one difference is she actually acts on the desire while I deny and pretend that I don't want to as well. Which makes we feel like a Hypocrite. I fully understand what's going on but I hide it.

The thing is that we can't control other people's behaviour but our own. So I would focus on my own issues instead of theirs.

Fully aware of that.

If I leave her be, it will get worse for her. I have support pillars in my life she doesn't. So there is a risk.

What kinda behaviour/problems are we talking about?

the number #1 is denial and distracting ourselves.

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Posted by Findingbalance

Is this your twin? I'm using that as a loose label.

Theory on that seems to be, the more each if you heals themselves, the more the other can as well. I dunno but it kinda seems to work.

Anyway...the short answer is yes, I would if I think they can handle it. Examples. My twin had a bad habit. He knew it was. He also has quite a temper and people generally don't confront him. I confronted him and laid it out, even said look IDC if you hate me for saying this but someone has to. He said thank you. Didn't quite kick it, maybe he had now. He will though I have complete confidence in his strength. Seperation and all, so I don't really know what is going on with him except little snippets. My so, it depends. He isn't there with some things. Gets defensive, then hyper fixates. Confronting some issues with him just isn't actually beneficial right now, it causes a spiral down. It's a slow gentle process with him. Even for me personally, it depends how it's presented and if the presenter can have patience with me. My worst problem is being able to recognize my issues, not understand what to do about them then kind of forget I was trying to work on it and revert back. I can be completely conscious of something then get heavily triggered and boom right back to bad behavior. I'm a hot mess.

So yes, confront if you feel they can handle it and in a way they can handle it. Let them know it doesn't change how you feel and you support them, as long as that's the truth. Understand behavior tales a long time to change. Support even the tiniest of changes and accept backslides without negative reactions.

Posted by Findingbalance

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Findingbalance

Is this your twin? I'm using that as a loose label.

Theory on that seems to be, the more each if you heals themselves, the more the other can as well. I dunno but it kinda seems to work.

Anyway...the short answer is yes, I would if I think they can handle it. Examples. My twin had a bad habit. He knew it was. He also has quite a temper and people generally don't confront him. I confronted him and laid it out, even said look IDC if you hate me for saying this but someone has to. He said thank you. Didn't quite kick it, maybe he had now. He will though I have complete confidence in his strength. Seperation and all, so I don't really know what is going on with him except little snippets. My so, it depends. He isn't there with some things. Gets defensive, then hyper fixates. Confronting some issues with him just isn't actually beneficial right now, it causes a spiral down. It's a slow gentle process with him. Even for me personally, it depends how it's presented and if the presenter can have patience with me. My worst problem is being able to recognize my issues, not understand what to do about them then kind of forget I was trying to work on it and revert back. I can be completely conscious of something then get heavily triggered and boom right back to bad behavior. I'm a hot mess.

So yes, confront if you feel they can handle it and in a way they can handle it. Let them know it doesn't change how you feel and you support them, as long as that's the truth. Understand behavior tales a long time to change. Support even the tiniest of changes and accept backslides without negative reactions.

Ya it is.

Ya I have to call her on stuff yet I need to work on delivery. She has a lot of issues with herself so it's a mine field. Atm it seems I have the habit of over controlling my emotions and her no control.

Lmao lately she does things that is forcing me to open up but they are hard pushes. I get to the point I'm emotional charged and ready to confront her and she just so happens to be withdrawing or disappears.

Either I need to not give a fuck or play the game to talk to her.

Lol if she's your twin, good luck on the not give a fuck. I don't think it's an option 😂.

Looks like you and I are the same in our twin dynamic, trying to learn to be ok with emotions without drowning in them like our twin who instead needs to learn that emotions are good but you can't live off them alone. I haven't mastered my lesson yet...happy is ok, negative is complete avoid do not like. It's a process. Learn to extend the same love and acceptance you have for her to yourself as you try on your end.

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Posted by Findingbalance

Here's the real weird part, whether you believe the common thought that you're two halves of one soul that's split or not. Loving and accepting yourself is also loving and accepting them. It's not blind though. For them or you, there's room to see flaws and try to heal and work on them. But at the same time, you have to believe you're as worthy as you think they are, as you already are. Because if you don't think you're worthy of unconditional love and acceptance, how can they? It's a weird paradox.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

I'm not sure I understand the question. 🤔

Someone is mirroring your bad behaviour and you're wondering if you should confront them?

Lol ya that's a simplified answer. The one difference is she actually acts on the desire while I deny and pretend that I don't want to as well. Which makes we feel like a Hypocrite. I fully understand what's going on but I hide it.

Sir it is going to come to the surface at some point… it’s inevitable.

Where is your natal Pluto? At what degree? 13, by chance?

click to expand

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Timone

I'm not sure I understand the question. 🤔

Someone is mirroring your bad behaviour and you're wondering if you should confront them?

Lol ya that's a simplified answer. The one difference is she actually acts on the desire while I deny and pretend that I don't want to as well. Which makes we feel like a Hypocrite. I fully understand what's going on but I hide it.

Sir it is going to come to the surface at some point… it’s inevitable.

Where is your natal Pluto? At what degree? 13, by chance?

click to expand