Posted by Black-MambaOh man haha
they just implemented hitting kids with a paddleboard in some school in the South...it's coming back
Posted by PrimroseI'm sorry to hear that. Yeah I mean I didn't like it or anything. I don't know if it effected me or not.Posted by Sag898In my experience, as much as possible, no.
Do you think it's okay to hit children?
When I grew up I got the belt ( from dad ) a few times, the threaten to cut my hair if I was bad stuff ( from mom) on a rare ocassion a slap over the head or on wrist and my brother would play fight me and pretended not to hear me when I'd say get off or stop lol
Aside from my bitch ass brother, I feel all these were just disciplinary techniques. The thing is it made me not act out as a kid that much cause I knew what the consequences were if I did.
What do you think?
I have psychological trauma I still carry to this day stemmed from that kind of "discipline".click to expand
Posted by solidsnakeTake notes, follower.Posted by LadyNeptuneLol
No. It’s never okay to hit children. Not even if your excuse is ‘discipline’.
hollywood parenting 101click to expand
Posted by RedbullTruePosted by Sag898Yep on one hand it can teach the concept of consequences. Therefore keeping someone from "going too far" as they know there are consequences. This is my own experience having come up in a scenario of belts. At the same time...it can teach and transmit violence, anger...I was a little Bull after all if forced to see red...where does it go? dissipate and disappear? I dont know about that. I dont know or have the answer because I can see it having kept me on a more straight and narrow path...eventually. At the same time if it comes to hitting kids...what has it even come too? speaking as someone who doesnt have kids. Cant say one way or another.
Do you think it's okay to hit children?
When I grew up I got the belt ( from dad ) a few times, the threaten to cut my hair if I was bad stuff ( from mom) on a rare ocassion a slap over the head or on wrist and my brother would play fight me and pretended not to hear me when I'd say get off or stop lol
Aside from my bitch ass brother, I feel all these were just disciplinary techniques. The thing is it made me not act out as a kid that much cause I knew what the consequences were if I did.
What do you think?click to expand
Posted by RooSagicornThat's sweet. You sound like a good mom.
I started out as a parent spanking my son. But when I realized that I would have to beat the hell out of him to get his stubborn ass to comply, I decided to never spank him again. I don’t believe in beatings. He’s also ADHD so we did a lot of behavioral mod with him. More rewards than punishment but I don’t think that works that great either.
I never spanked my daughter.. boy didn’t ever need to. The poor kid got scared anytime she heard a louder than normal voice.
I really don’t think teaching fear & just do as I say is valuable, but teaching why things are important and morals and doing the right thing is more important.. and listening to your kids. Yes I have a 23 yo & a 17 yo and they aren’t perfect but have never been in any serious trouble and are caring, loving humans.
Posted by RooSagicornSame here. Stopped when I realized I am 6 times bigger! And got so ashamed of myself.
I started out as a parent spanking my son. But when I realized that I would have to beat the hell out of him to get his stubborn ass to comply, I decided to never spank him again. I don’t believe in beatings. He’s also ADHD so we did a lot of behavioral mod with him. More rewards than punishment but I don’t think that works that great either.
I never spanked my daughter.. boy didn’t ever need to. The poor kid got scared anytime she heard a louder than normal voice.
I really don’t think teaching fear & just do as I say is valuable, but teaching why things are important and morals and doing the right thing is more important.. and listening to your kids. Yes I have a 23 yo & a 17 yo and they aren’t perfect but have never been in any serious trouble and are caring, loving humans.
Posted by solidsnakeI have 3 younger brothers (1 a Virgo) and none of them at their weakest moments come close to your bitch ass. So that can’t be it.Posted by LadyNeptuneGetting ass whoopings builds character & creates fond memories that you can share with others who have had similar experiences. The ass whipping experience bring us together. Better than young boys acting like powerpuff girls?Posted by solidsnakeTake notes, follower.Posted by LadyNeptuneLol
No. It’s never okay to hit children. Not even if your excuse is ‘discipline’.
hollywood parenting 101click to expand
Posted by topes
Go to your room!
Posted by RooSagicornExactly how I grew up!Posted by Sag898Actually I chose to do parenting different than my parents. My mom & stepdad were self-absorbed and we had to follow what they wanted & had no choices or free-will.Posted by RooSagicornThat's sweet. You sound like a good mom.
I started out as a parent spanking my son. But when I realized that I would have to beat the hell out of him to get his stubborn ass to comply, I decided to never spank him again. I don’t believe in beatings. He’s also ADHD so we did a lot of behavioral mod with him. More rewards than punishment but I don’t think that works that great either.
I never spanked my daughter.. boy didn’t ever need to. The poor kid got scared anytime she heard a louder than normal voice.
I really don’t think teaching fear & just do as I say is valuable, but teaching why things are important and morals and doing the right thing is more important.. and listening to your kids. Yes I have a 23 yo & a 17 yo and they aren’t perfect but have never been in any serious trouble and are caring, loving humans.
My parents are kind of self obsessed greedy people lol They aren't necessarily mean but not really nice either.
I hope not to be like them when I grow up but I feel like that's everyone's tragedy right? It rubs off on you a bit haha
My dad was an emotional mess & unavailable basically.
So I did not want to raise my kids like that. I changed it.click to expand
Posted by ArachnophobiaBrutal. 10 outta 10 would prefer to be hit I’m sure.Posted by LadyNeptuneJust take their ipad off them these days, it'l have the same effect.
No. It’s never okay to hit children. Not even if your excuse is ‘discipline’.click to expand
Posted by topesIt needed to end so long ago lolPosted by Sag898Ah the golden years.Posted by topes
Go to your room!click to expand
Posted by TheRabbitOp asked if it’s kosher to hit a kid.
"Don't spank your kids!!! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to Planned Parenthood and get this fetus scraped out of my uterus"
Posted by LaMadrinaCute story. People aren’t elephants thoPosted by LadyNeptuneI was watching the nature channel. It was about elephants. The baby elephant went away from the crowd. The lions were about that day. Mother elephant went crazy, looking for her son. She found him and explored him with her trunk to make sure he wasn't hurt. Once she knew he was okay, she smacked him with her trunk, yelling. He learned never to stray again.
No. It’s never okay to hit children. Not even if your excuse is ‘discipline’.
So discipline is important, even in the animal kingdom.click to expand
Posted by pisceswoman123I heard that they're thinking of legislation in the U.K. too
In here is illegal.
Posted by mudra
This is how it works with me
I tell you to stop because this and that BECAUSE it's this and that
You keep going?
Things like TV, special toys taken, etc
You keep going?
The look. Warning for big trouble.
Going some more?
Final warning before a swat on the ass
Oh? More?
Ass swat. Room.
After things calm down...
Ask how she feels and listen to her. Explanation for WHY it got to that point. REASSURANCE that even when things get hard, I am still always there for her and love her with everything. It seems like you should do that stuff before it all happens but I'm telling you... when they get in a mood... theres nothing you can say or do that will talk them out of it. If you just let them do it, they run shit and disrespect you. I see little kids running their family at parks and at school. The ones with the no spanking policy lol.
Luckily it rarely gets to that point. It usually stops with getting stuff taken away.
Posted by tizianiPersonally don't think that's much better at least in the US. But that's your choice. Not saying somewhat strict discipline isn't valuable. But for high strung unruly kids you could try a youth group something outdoorsy or active, or a team sport. When I was younger I took martial arts classes taught me discipline, patience, and some moral lessons too. I'm still impatient but I'm better than I was lolPosted by FireStarterYeah that's true on the last part. I'm thinking just send them off to military school.
Nope not ok but also not effective as discipline. There's studies done that concludes that spanking doesn't work that well and that kids who've never been hit tend to be happier well behaved and adjusted children.
I think of it this way, if you, a grown ass 100lb+ adult can't find any other way to discipline and guide your kid without raising your hand, to this like one fifth of your size child...I think that says a lot about you as a person and a parent.click to expand
Posted by topesAgreed. We’re you a futurama fan?Posted by Sag8981993-about 96 were their best years. It all went downhill when Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure left. Those times were by far the funniest.Posted by topesIt needed to end so long ago lolPosted by Sag898Ah the golden years.Posted by topes
Go to your room!click to expand
Posted by LaMadrinaAdult male penguins rape the young.Posted by LadyNeptuneYouTube it. We are all mammals though.Posted by LaMadrinaCute story. People aren’t elephants thoPosted by LadyNeptuneI was watching the nature channel. It was about elephants. The baby elephant went away from the crowd. The lions were about that day. Mother elephant went crazy, looking for her son. She found him and explored him with her trunk to make sure he wasn't hurt. Once she knew he was okay, she smacked him with her trunk, yelling. He learned never to stray again.
No. It’s never okay to hit children. Not even if your excuse is ‘discipline’.
So discipline is important, even in the animal kingdom.click to expand
Posted by tizianiCatch ya on the flip side!
credit to Muderface for introducing me to JJBA
Posted by AbbyNormal
The older I get, the more averse I become towards this. I have learned to reason very well over the years, something I knew when I was younger I needed to develop before becoming a mother. I feel like a lot of parents turn to hitting bc they do not know how to use their words effectively. Now, this is coming from someone who has no children. My upbringing had quite a few slaps to the face, some hairbrush spankings but nothing I would consider over the top. My mother also quit doing this when we were very young. But we also learned to be obedient. I may have needed the heavy hand who knows. But I do remember the lack of actual conversations surrounding what I "did wrong". I picture myself as a parent who never has to rely on these things but who knows really. I know I don't hit my dog when he is bad, I talk to him. If anyone were to hit my dog, for any reason, idk how I'd react bc I'm extremely protective. I also don't like to hurt the ones I love. I can understand how my mom might have thought, it's like giving a shot, it hurts for a second, and really sucks to give, but helps in the long run. I just don't know if I will have to rely on the same tactics bc we are different people. I realize now that my mom had a very hard time expressing and talking about emotions. I understand she was trying to be strong for all of us on her own so I don't hold anything against her at all. She did her best. My best hope is that I marry a man who is far superior to my own father, who actually wants to be one. I see how the stress caused her to raise us a certain way. This is a contributor as to why im not married with kids yet. If the optimal conditions do not present themselves, I'm ok with that too. I don't have to have kids but i would like to. I've always dreamed of being a mom.
Posted by LaMadrinaExplain does not = hitting a child.Posted by LadyNeptuneReaching a bit aren't you? With all the unnecessary attitude. I'm 53 and I don't have kids. But I do have parents who disciplined me and my siblings. It's not as bad as everyone makes it.Posted by LaMadrinaAdult male penguins rape the young.Posted by LadyNeptuneYouTube it. We are all mammals though.Posted by LaMadrinaCute story. People aren’t elephants thoPosted by LadyNeptuneI was watching the nature channel. It was about elephants. The baby elephant went away from the crowd. The lions were about that day. Mother elephant went crazy, looking for her son. She found him and explored him with her trunk to make sure he wasn't hurt. Once she knew he was okay, she smacked him with her trunk, yelling. He learned never to stray again.
No. It’s never okay to hit children. Not even if your excuse is ‘discipline’.
So discipline is important, even in the animal kingdom.
Chimpanzees sometimes torture and kill their young.
Female sloths will many times eat their young right after birth.
I could go on...
Holding up animal behavior as a measure of morality in humans is gonna get messy fast.
Please let us know how it goes when you defend hitting your kid to CPS with the excuse that elephants do it too. I’m sure it’ll be fine 👍
Who is trying to justify anything to who? Point is, it's parental instinct to discipline kids when they get out of line. A tap means hey, you went to dangerous levels and I'm trying to keep you safe. Explain hot to a child when they want to touch the stove. Explain hit by a car if they suddenly dash across the street. If you don't get it, that's on you Chica.click to expand
Posted by -Apis-This this this!
Theres rageful beating and theres discipline.
There is a difference
Posted by dadjokesLol Right
My parents "didn't believe" in spanking, but my mother in particular certainly had no problem with mental abuse, and on occasions, throwing wine in my face. "Thanks for the antioxidants, bitch". She didn't like that.
Don't do this type of shit.
As for spanking, I don't see how it would even scare a kid. A gentle tap? I'm pretty sure they get bumped into harder just walking through a crowded mall. So why do it?
Posted by mudraAsian Tiger moms. It is an Asian cultural thing. I, however, really only had my mom to rely on. She is definitely not the same person, to that extent anymore. We had a conversation about it all, in my mid 20's. I think that was when I stopped being resentful to her. Though not an excuse, she was human, with demons I never knew about. I always assumed she was superwoman in many ways. It was interesting to see she was actually very flawed. I had never seen her cry a day in my life, until that day of the conversation and subsequent apology.Posted by nikkistarDude. It's that Asian parent abuse. Not every Asian does it but mine sure af did. She beat me bloody more times than I can count. She was just the weekend mom too and I remember hating weekends, even thinking about ways to run away or even kill her lol. All over the dumbest things. Always screaming. She was so reactive and had no self control. Her way of apologizing was taking me shopping for whatever I wanted but never talking to me. I spent years being resentful constantly running away as a teenager. And even as I'm almost 30 and she has calmed down a great deal in her older age, she still doesnt truly, genuinely know me. What I like, what I'm about, etc. Its strictly that maternal love that is by effortless obligation.
I don't talk much about my past, because well, it's my past. It's over and done with, and no sense it really letting it control who I am now. I dislike people using past traumas for validation, an excuse as to why their life sucks, or to garner sympathy.
For this topic, I will simple state my past in a factual way. My family has a history of abusive corporal punishment that has gone on for generations. My mom learned it from her mom, and so on and so forth. Growing up, there were times that I received punishments deservedly. Those were usually when I was getting out of line, and I received verbal warnings many times. But as I grew older, other issues began to arise. What I didn't know then, but I know now, is my mother's depression was increasing exponentially. By the time I was 11, those beatings I deserved because of my actions, were morphed into a stress relief for my mother, at the cost of my flesh. She would find any excuse to do it. What was a wack on the bottom with a hand, became a beating with any object she could get her hands on, on any part of my body. By the time I was 16, it had reached its peak. The beatings were so severe, that blood vessels were popped, and bruises that took months to heal, were left. Most of the time, it could be something as little as eating in the living room, or getting a 94 on a test that would be used as the excuse for doing so. I could go into more detail about it, but there is no point. That didn't include the mental warfare she conducted on me as well.
For a long time, when I was younger. I was terrified that I would perpetuate the history of my family. It was one of the issues I obsessed over during my postpartum depression. And I believed that I would never use corporal punishment, so I would continue the cycle. However, as my son grew older, and tested his boundaries, I realized for myself, that spanking was effective on my son for certain situations. I educated myself enough to align my behaviors much to @mudra's way of parenting. I can say, that neither my ex, nor I have had to use corporal punishment on him in more than 3 years. He is a well adjusted child, that understands consequences now.
So I do believe in corporal punishment. But I don't believe in abuse. There is a difference.
I made a vow to myself and my girl that I would never take it that far. Children deserve chances. They deserve explanations. They deserve love and reassurance. But they still need to know they don't run shit. And you can do that in a respectful, reasonable and fair way for both parties where you both learn from each other through good communication.click to expand
Posted by TheRabbitI will have to agree with it. I remember my mother beating me a lot less then the words she said, while doing it.
The spankings I received from my mother did far less damage to me than the emotional and psychological abuse and neglect inflicted by my step mother.
Instead of an immediate and concrete example of my actions having consequences I received from a swift smack on the behind, I was left with no sense of why I deserved the extended torture and no idea of how people could be so evil.
Posted by TheRabbitJesus Christ, Rabbit😥
The spankings I received from my mother did far less damage to me than the emotional and psychological abuse and neglect inflicted by my step mother.
Instead of an immediate and concrete example of my actions having consequences I received from a swift smack on the behind, I was left with no sense of why I deserved the extended torture and no idea of how people could be so evil.
Posted by TheRabbitVery sad 😢Posted by MyStarsShineWell the step mom is dead, so no to that one.Posted by TheRabbitJesus Christ, Rabbit😥
The spankings I received from my mother did far less damage to me than the emotional and psychological abuse and neglect inflicted by my step mother.
Instead of an immediate and concrete example of my actions having consequences I received from a swift smack on the behind, I was left with no sense of why I deserved the extended torture and no idea of how people could be so evil.
Do you still speak to those two women?
😡
I rarely speak to either of my parents, but that has nothing to do with spanking.click to expand
Posted by nikkistarBless you Nikki 💙Posted by mudraAsian Tiger moms. It is an Asian cultural thing. I, however, really only had my mom to rely on. She is definitely not the same person, to that extent anymore. We had a conversation about it all, in my mid 20's. I think that was when I stopped being resentful to her. Though not an excuse, she was human, with demons I never knew about. I always assumed she was superwoman in many ways. It was interesting to see she was actually very flawed. I had never seen her cry a day in my life, until that day of the conversation and subsequent apology.Posted by nikkistarDude. It's that Asian parent abuse. Not every Asian does it but mine sure af did. She beat me bloody more times than I can count. She was just the weekend mom too and I remember hating weekends, even thinking about ways to run away or even kill her lol. All over the dumbest things. Always screaming. She was so reactive and had no self control. Her way of apologizing was taking me shopping for whatever I wanted but never talking to me. I spent years being resentful constantly running away as a teenager. And even as I'm almost 30 and she has calmed down a great deal in her older age, she still doesnt truly, genuinely know me. What I like, what I'm about, etc. Its strictly that maternal love that is by effortless obligation.
I don't talk much about my past, because well, it's my past. It's over and done with, and no sense it really letting it control who I am now. I dislike people using past traumas for validation, an excuse as to why their life sucks, or to garner sympathy.
For this topic, I will simple state my past in a factual way. My family has a history of abusive corporal punishment that has gone on for generations. My mom learned it from her mom, and so on and so forth. Growing up, there were times that I received punishments deservedly. Those were usually when I was getting out of line, and I received verbal warnings many times. But as I grew older, other issues began to arise. What I didn't know then, but I know now, is my mother's depression was increasing exponentially. By the time I was 11, those beatings I deserved because of my actions, were morphed into a stress relief for my mother, at the cost of my flesh. She would find any excuse to do it. What was a wack on the bottom with a hand, became a beating with any object she could get her hands on, on any part of my body. By the time I was 16, it had reached its peak. The beatings were so severe, that blood vessels were popped, and bruises that took months to heal, were left. Most of the time, it could be something as little as eating in the living room, or getting a 94 on a test that would be used as the excuse for doing so. I could go into more detail about it, but there is no point. That didn't include the mental warfare she conducted on me as well.
For a long time, when I was younger. I was terrified that I would perpetuate the history of my family. It was one of the issues I obsessed over during my postpartum depression. And I believed that I would never use corporal punishment, so I would continue the cycle. However, as my son grew older, and tested his boundaries, I realized for myself, that spanking was effective on my son for certain situations. I educated myself enough to align my behaviors much to @mudra's way of parenting. I can say, that neither my ex, nor I have had to use corporal punishment on him in more than 3 years. He is a well adjusted child, that understands consequences now.
So I do believe in corporal punishment. But I don't believe in abuse. There is a difference.
I made a vow to myself and my girl that I would never take it that far. Children deserve chances. They deserve explanations. They deserve love and reassurance. But they still need to know they don't run shit. And you can do that in a respectful, reasonable and fair way for both parties where you both learn from each other through good communication.
She still struggles with using me as her emotional stress relief. But instead of ignoring it, and her behavior, she always calls back and apologizes. For all the wrongs my mom did to me, I forgave her along time ago. And I am glad, I didn't continue the behavior and worked very hard not to. As I am sure you are as well.click to expand
Posted by TheRabbitWell it's sad for me to hear, being a loving mother but good for you for handling it so well 👍Posted by MyStarsShineNot really.Posted by TheRabbitVery sad 😢Posted by MyStarsShineWell the step mom is dead, so no to that one.Posted by TheRabbitJesus Christ, Rabbit😥
The spankings I received from my mother did far less damage to me than the emotional and psychological abuse and neglect inflicted by my step mother.
Instead of an immediate and concrete example of my actions having consequences I received from a swift smack on the behind, I was left with no sense of why I deserved the extended torture and no idea of how people could be so evil.
Do you still speak to those two women?
😡
I rarely speak to either of my parents, but that has nothing to do with spanking.
It's not sad to limit people's toxicity in your life.click to expand
Posted by LaMadrinaYes being spanked is not the same as hitting your child.Posted by LadyNeptuneTap on the ass with explanation works. Some kids don't listen to words alone. One method doesn't work for all kids. A swift tap doesn't equal beating kids.Posted by LaMadrinaExplain does not = hitting a child.Posted by LadyNeptuneReaching a bit aren't you? With all the unnecessary attitude. I'm 53 and I don't have kids. But I do have parents who disciplined me and my siblings. It's not as bad as everyone makes it.Posted by LaMadrinaAdult male penguins rape the young.Posted by LadyNeptuneYouTube it. We are all mammals though.Posted by LaMadrinaCute story. People aren’t elephants thoPosted by LadyNeptuneI was watching the nature channel. It was about elephants. The baby elephant went away from the crowd. The lions were about that day. Mother elephant went crazy, looking for her son. She found him and explored him with her trunk to make sure he wasn't hurt. Once she knew he was okay, she smacked him with her trunk, yelling. He learned never to stray again.
No. It’s never okay to hit children. Not even if your excuse is ‘discipline’.
So discipline is important, even in the animal kingdom.
Chimpanzees sometimes torture and kill their young.
Female sloths will many times eat their young right after birth.
I could go on...
Holding up animal behavior as a measure of morality in humans is gonna get messy fast.
Please let us know how it goes when you defend hitting your kid to CPS with the excuse that elephants do it too. I’m sure it’ll be fine 👍
Who is trying to justify anything to who? Point is, it's parental instinct to discipline kids when they get out of line. A tap means hey, you went to dangerous levels and I'm trying to keep you safe. Explain hot to a child when they want to touch the stove. Explain hit by a car if they suddenly dash across the street. If you don't get it, that's on you Chica.
Zero attitude here. Also never used the word justify. Just pointing out the obvious.click to expand
Posted byOh God ... that is horrible 😢
saggurl88
I got beat pretty bad as a kid, soaking in a tub and bleeding, bad. I would never be able hit a child.
I used to shake when I got hit. Just a horrible experience and I don’t think it taught me much except to be afraid.
Posted by ArkansassyIs it legal for me to say what I'd do to you?
I been a bad boy. I need a spanking.