Best Gag Gift....

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by PheonixBluez on Sunday, December 4, 2011 and has 31 replies.
You gave to someone?
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I worked with this person who was way into horses. I found a recipe for coconut balls. I made the balls quite large, and colored them the just right color of green. They looked more or less exactly like horse poop. It was great.
I also knew some one that worked in a hospital lab. I got a little cup that human poop was collected in. I molded some fudge into the proper shape, and gave that to this lab person.

You know, I don't have many friends any more.....
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'a
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Posted by dofacc
I worked with this person who was way into horses. I found a recipe for coconut balls. I made the balls quite large, and colored them the just right color of green. They looked more or less exactly like horse poop. It was great.
I also knew some one that worked in a hospital lab. I got a little cup that human poop was collected in. I molded some fudge into the proper shape, and gave that to this lab person.

You know, I don't have many friends any more.....




**makes mental note not to EVER upset dofacc**
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
A stress penis...



fuck stress......


..........oh sorry - I guess that's the idea?
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Posted by TastesOfChaos
A stress penis...



fuck stress......


..........oh sorry - I guess that's the idea?



Yea. I got it for my mates 17th bday. Her mum wasnt too impressed with me Big Grin
I always wondered if she ever used it... cuz it was shaped and sized like a RL penis. It just real stretchy and squeezable Tongue

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please don't say things like "stretchy" and "squeezable"........it has been tooooooo longSad
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Posted by Reason
Posted by TastesOfChaos
Posted by Reason
Those gifts pretty much suck



Your face sucks, but do you hear us complaining?


Elaborate?
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She may be pulling your tit, fret not.
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she is a Libra, she has probably had 74 other thoughts by now....
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Has she even seen your face? If not, she is taking the piss, pulling your leg, goofing about, bantering with you.
No harm intended. Not to be taken literally.
If you were an ex-boyfriend who cheated on her or something - completely different story.
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interpreter/media liaison
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TOC - nichyevo
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smile from all the girls on the board, cpacebo balshoiye
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clear as mud
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Posted by Reason
Yeah, I'm good for digital flowers only, but anyway I see they are better received than my innocent word plays, you know how it happens on DXP, when it's daylight here, it's dark night over there, we keep getting caught in confusion

BTW, do you ever get on that voice chat?


Who? TOC or me? TOC is the chatty one.
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Posted by Reason
Both, also, you speak Russian which is kinda fun to train, no?


Da.
I found an old notebook the other day with my Russian handwriting. It was so beautiful!
I can't read my writing in English!!
I pity anyone on my Christmas card list.

English must be a difficult language to learn - Russian is very "true."
Every letter is there for a reason.
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Bling and TOC tried to set me up on vocaroo one night but we experienced technical difficulties (I am not very bright)
Next time you all are doing the chat thing I will try on a different PC.
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Na, I ain't interested in the chat thing...
I prefer one on one chats, not 30 people all trying to talk at once! MAYHEM!
I'm keen to listen though.


Sorry - thought it was the vocaroo thing.
Is there a chatterbox thing as well? That would drive me nuts. Like listening to parliamentSad
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Yeah its called Tiny Chat and a few DXP users have been chatting...
Even crazy joined in apparently... Days said everyone said she sounded like me Crying



but I thought you WERE everyone??
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Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Posted by TastesOfChaos
Yeah its called Tiny Chat and a few DXP users have been chatting...
Even crazy joined in apparently... Days said everyone said she sounded like me Crying



but I thought you WERE everyone??
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OK - i read that wrong.....Days said everyone said Crazy sounded like you.
I find that hard to believe!
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did she say "daaaarhl" and "luv" all the time?
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apparently the aussie chick is one of the most popular voices for GPS systems.
Man I would love that job.....
"turn right 50 metres"
"no you bloody berk - the other right"
"we're fucking lost now you wombat"
"no worries - I know there's a pub round the corner"

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Posted by everevolvingepithet
Can't be worse than the dick van dyke/mary poppin's accent I've heard in the past.smile


ha ha
turn left dear
deary me, we've gone right instead!
never mind,
all together now .........(to the tune of supercallafragilistic)
round and round the round about like a bedknob on a broomstick
fang the bastard round the bend and do donuts in the drive through
we'll do a u-ey at the traffic lights and flip the cops a birdie
supercallafragilisticexpialladocious
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Do people ever get cross when they wake up and find we have taken over their threads?
I feel quite bad about it sometimes - I don't mean to do it, but someone will throw out a line from Monty Python or other cult classic and suddenly we off are on a voyage of discovery - completely off topic.
It's never mean spirited. It just happens.
I apologise profusely to everyone whose perfectly normal and serious thread I have jacked.

....anyway, apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
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Posted by everevolvingepithet
Was it a huntsman ?


They don't bite do they?

I thought their special talent was scaring people to
A) death or
B) into running in the other direction into a wall or something.
They are pretty dangerous really when you think about it.
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Was it a huntsman ?


No, it was a green thing...
I was wearing a short dress too.
I have officially mastered the art of falling over though, I got up and I was SOOOO worried that my dress flew up, or that I spread my legs! and peeps saw my lacies so the first thing I said was OMG did I just do a Britney?? Cuz it all happened so fast you know and I THREW myself into that garden bed fairly violently...
and my friend goes... Actually mate, that was probably the most lady like stacks I have EVER seen.. and look! You didnt spill a drop of your beer!
WINNING!!
Tongue
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Were you wearing a green dress? Maybe it thought you were the mother ship?
No spillage! What a champion!
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Posted by TastesOfChaos
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Was it a huntsman ?


No, it was a green thing...
I was wearing a short dress too.
I have officially mastered the art of falling over though, I got up and I was SOOOO worried that my dress flew up, or that I spread my legs! and peeps saw my lacies so the first thing I said was OMG did I just do a Britney?? Cuz it all happened so fast you know and I THREW myself into that garden bed fairly violently...
and my friend goes... Actually mate, that was probably the most lady like stacks I have EVER seen.. and look! You didnt spill a drop of your beer!
WINNING!!
Tongue



Were you wearing a green dress? Maybe it thought you were the mother ship?
No spillage! What a champion!



I know right?
Another time I fell over (haha) I was at the greyhounds and I had TWO beers one in each hand... rolled the ankle and went down like a fucking tard. This bitch who was sitting on the grass was like HAHA she just fell over... and Im like YEAH, but I didnt spill my beers smile
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She's all class, this one.
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Anyway, I gotta bail...
Seriously need to do the dishes, I've run out of forks man...
DIRE STRAITS!
Tongue




What do you think your fingers are for? Getting all fancy with the cutlery now, eh?

Oh I see - she's probably burnt the wings again. They're too hot to pick upSad
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Anyway, I gotta bail...
Seriously need to do the dishes, I've run out of forks man...
DIRE STRAITS!
Tongue




we got to install microwave ovens
coz she keeps burning wings on the grill
We got to move these
refridgerators
away from under TOC's window sill
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Bling what have you done?
I swear you're the worst....
hang on, panic over -
he took the beer out first!

How clever's that dog?
can he grill and saute?
can he toast marshmallows?
can he blanche and flambe?

does he lie with you in bed
and light farts for fun?
can we keep him til Easter?
and do hot cross bums?
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Jesus, all I wanted was some gag gift ideas and you guys killed the whole damn thread.
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A whoopee cushion.
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