Charity idea....input appreciated

I have two choices, I can let grief consume me for the rest of my life or try to get something positive out of a tragedy. I decided to give my son a legacy. I want to do something for 18-24 year olds that need assistance. Maybe mental health, food, a place to live.......I am still working out details.

His best friend called me today and he is making tshirts. A few other of his friends asked to help too. I was thinking of starting with a holiday party in December with food and gifts and go from there.

I would love everyone's input. What can I provide to this age group?

Posted by LittleStar_

You seem very in tune with what that age group needs. I think sponsored job training/education is helpful for a hopeful future and helps with a lot of the factors you listed.

For December, I was thinking of a lunch and some gifts like gas cards, supplies, clothing.

I just mentioned it to a few people and everyone wants to help. I called the VFW to see if I can use their place.

Posted by LittleStar_

Ask local construction foremen if they can promise to take on one person a quarter or half a year to give an opportunity to and then a path to a job if it works out perhaps, etc.

That's a good idea!

Diabetes killed my son. He was diagnosed at 16 and struggled with depression shortly after. I couldn't save him. I tried. I can't have a redo but maybe I can help someone

This sounds great Dee. Maybe seek out subsidised counselling services where young people can go when struggling. I work at a centre where free counselling sessions are offered for those in need.

When my son got diagnosed with diabetes, they told me that depression was common. He had a counselor assigned to him. When he turned 18, he aged out but the counselor stayed in his life. They were close. I thanked him in the obituary and he came to the funeral. I spoke to him today and he has access to lots of resources

Posted by MyStarsShine

This sounds great Dee. Maybe seek out subsidised counselling services where young people can go when struggling. I work at a centre where free counselling sessions are offered for those in need.

Yes! Mental health is a huge issue.

Posted by kreol

Posted by Deedee75

Posted by LittleStar_

Ask local construction foremen if they can promise to take on one person a quarter or half a year to give an opportunity to and then a path to a job if it works out perhaps, etc.

That's a good idea!

Diabetes killed my son. He was diagnosed at 16 and struggled with depression shortly after. I couldn't save him. I tried. I can't have a redo but maybe I can help someone

My father was diabetic and struggled with depression too. He drank and smoked heavily also. His physical illness compunded his mental health as he was also unable to work near the end. My mother did all she could to take care of him. His condition deteriorated rapidly once he was diagnosed with diabetes, as his mother, my grandma had it and she died relatively young. Something in his mind went south where he decided to give up. On himself, on his family, on life.

I have a cousin who was your son's age when he passed away. One night instead of going home after playing football he decided to journey to London Bridge and jump. He went missing officially until they recovered his body months later. He was depressed and under a lot of stress during that time. It all became too much. He could not see a way out, same as my dad.

Your son's situation isn't the same as them but I can empathise with the helplessness that comes with seeing a loved one suffer. And what you must remember as a Mother you did all you could with the very best intentions, with what you were given at the time. You can't do anymore than that. Nobody can see into the future, nobody can control the future. What's important is the love you were able to share with and give your son, this is what will remain. In this life and after. Remember these moments and take them with you.

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Thank you for these words. One thing that I'm struggling with is blaming myself. I went about it the wrong way.

Posted by Marai

That's an amazing idea! Your son would so proud =)!

You could set up a centre for day activities to do with help of volunteers. Painting, drawing, baking, cooking, woodwork, crafting, music, gardening etc. Maybe some little animals around to cuddle that help with anxiety and depression.

I like that. Maybe get the teens involved in charity work too. It would help with confidence and purpose

Posted by kreol

Posted by Deedee75

Posted by kreol

Posted by Deedee75

Posted by LittleStar_

Ask local construction foremen if they can promise to take on one person a quarter or half a year to give an opportunity to and then a path to a job if it works out perhaps, etc.

That's a good idea!

Diabetes killed my son. He was diagnosed at 16 and struggled with depression shortly after. I couldn't save him. I tried. I can't have a redo but maybe I can help someone

My father was diabetic and struggled with depression too. He drank and smoked heavily also. His physical illness compunded his mental health as he was also unable to work near the end. My mother did all she could to take care of him. His condition deteriorated rapidly once he was diagnosed with diabetes, as his mother, my grandma had it and she died relatively young. Something in his mind went south where he decided to give up. On himself, on his family, on life.

I have a cousin who was your son's age when he passed away. One night instead of going home after playing football he decided to journey to London Bridge and jump. He went missing officially until they recovered his body months later. He was depressed and under a lot of stress during that time. It all became too much. He could not see a way out, same as my dad.

Your son's situation isn't the same as them but I can empathise with the helplessness that comes with seeing a loved one suffer. And what you must remember as a Mother you did all you could with the very best intentions, with what you were given at the time. You can't do anymore than that. Nobody can see into the future, nobody can control the future. What's important is the love you were able to share with and give your son, this is what will remain. In this life and after. Remember these moments and take them with you.

Thank you for these words. One thing that I'm struggling with is blaming myself. I went about it the wrong way.

Hindsight is always 20-20, right?

I will say that time heals. The grief never leaves completely but you learn to live with it. You learn to make peace with it. This is what I wish for you

I

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Thank you. That is why I want to channel my grief into his legacy. I've seen people turn angry and bitter after a loss. I will always be sad and miss my baby.

If it was diabetes and mental health related, maybe some sort of help with healthier diets, some cooking 'classes'.. something that engages them as well as helps them yet let's them be independent. Learning about food, how/where certain foods grow and how they're harvested, what it does to your body, how it affects the environment, etc.

If you can somehow get some help with a soup kitchen or someone who has experience with that, some sort of "show up and this week is all about (insert meal).. we provide the food just show up n learn how to make this simple, easy, nutritious meal" and give brief yet informative bits n pieces for them to explore further if they want to/have the means to (if not maybe you can help etc..)

Also I didn't read many responses so if this has been stated, apologies 🙂💛

Make it feel like they're at an aunt or uncle's home, etc. Keep the atmosphere cozy, fun, informative, exploratory, etc. It doesn't need to be formal or too structured, I think that would hinder some and make their mental hangups worse.

Posted by CuddleBug1288

Make it feel like they're at an aunt or uncle's home, etc. Keep the atmosphere cozy, fun, informative, exploratory, etc. It doesn't need to be formal or too structured, I think that would hinder some and make their mental hangups worse.

I love that his friend's want to help. It will be a peer atmosphere.

My husband is Type 1 Diabetic. He was diagnosed just about the time your son did too, 3 years ago. DKA is no joke, and I sometimes wonder if better education about diet, or even helping those that have it, have access to insurance to help cover how costly all the medication is. It's just so expensive for those that do not have insurance to help cover the costs. And even with Obama Care, the co-pay can still be ridiculous.

Just my thoughts.

Posted by Deedee75

Posted by CuddleBug1288

Make it feel like they're at an aunt or uncle's home, etc. Keep the atmosphere cozy, fun, informative, exploratory, etc. It doesn't need to be formal or too structured, I think that would hinder some and make their mental hangups worse.

I love that his friend's want to help. It will be a peer atmosphere.

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Yeah, that's kickass! 💛

Maybe even make it more of a family style meal? Depending on how many people are showing up. I know with my own mental health hangups (mainly anxiety) I tend to open up more and take bigger strides so to speak when I'm in an atmosphere that I find comfy. Where there are people around I know I can trust and feel okay opening up to IF I feel I need to. I don't want people to point out the elephant in the room all the time, I'm not dumb I know I have some issues ya know.. 😅😬 It isn't forced, no obligation, etc. I think maybe a casual family style meal where everyone pitches in would help foster that kind of atmosphere. Idk just my two cents 💛💛

Posted by nikkistar

My husband is Type 1 Diabetic. He was diagnosed just about the time your son did too, 3 years ago. DKA is no joke, and I sometimes wonder if better education about diet, or even helping those that have it, have access to insurance to help cover how costly all the medication is. It's just so expensive for those that do not have insurance to help cover the costs. And even with Obama Care, the co-pay can still be ridiculous.

Just my thoughts.

I remember having to fight the insurance to pay for the insulin pens. It was ridiculous.

I paid out of pocket for his insulin two weeks ago and it was $ 137 for a 1 week supply!

Posted by Deedee75

Posted by nikkistar

My husband is Type 1 Diabetic. He was diagnosed just about the time your son did too, 3 years ago. DKA is no joke, and I sometimes wonder if better education about diet, or even helping those that have it, have access to insurance to help cover how costly all the medication is. It's just so expensive for those that do not have insurance to help cover the costs. And even with Obama Care, the co-pay can still be ridiculous.

Just my thoughts.

I remember having to fight the insurance to pay for the insulin pens. It was ridiculous.

I paid out of pocket for his insulin two weeks ago and it was $ 137 for a 1 week supply!

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Exactly! I thank God that my husband is a Veteran and was medically discharged and has insurance for the rest of his life. It's so expensive.

But maybe a charity that helps cover co-pays or helps people get what they need would be good too?

Girls and boys club.. they always need people willing to support those that need help. Might be a good resource to find one near you that might team up.

https://www.bgca.org/

I mentioned this on FB last night. Keep in mind, I am not very active and only have 100 friends. The response has been amazing. People want to be involved. I have two bands and a dj already!

I think this is a great idea. 18-24 yo age group struggle so much figuring out life. You know my dad had type 1 diabetes & so did his sister. I think especially when you’re on the younger side getting diagnosed it’s difficult to understand & get a handle on it. His sister was 13, he was 26.

Maybe like suggested by others teaching healthy diets, cooking classes, and like Nikki said helping with the costs.

You know don’t beat yourself up, it’s a horrible disease and you did the best you could. I know from growing up watching my dad. I was 2 when he was diagnosed. The struggles were horrible, and how they make it through all the near deaths is unbelievable. Especially when they are young, it’s a difficult thing to wrap your head around. I know with kids with different struggles, sometimes we have to just hope it works out. We can not do it it for them. Unfortunately. Big hugs and prayers ❤️❤️❤️