Empathy Vs Codependency
This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by HeavyEntertainmentShow on Sunday, April 1, 2018 and has 2 replies.
Signed Up: Jan 30, 2017
Comments: 4555 · Posts: 7614 · Topics: 100
Comments: 4555 · Posts: 7614 · Topics: 100
As a Virgo heart & a Fish ego I find myself torn. My heart says "whoa slow down there, cowboy", but my ego says "emotional turmoil is life's way saying HEY YOU'RE ALIVE!!!".
These are 10 of the most telling signs you're in a codependent relationship, and I find myself guilty of a couple of them.
- You’re dating or married to an alcoholic or addict (any kind of addict). And/or you have a history of attracting damaged people into your life.
- You do things for your partner that he or she can and should be doing, all in the name of love. In fact, maybe your mother or sister repeatedly tells you that you help this person a little too much.
- You let your partner have his or her way, and then feel overwhelmed with anger and resentment. “Look at all I do for you!” Is a common phrase in the codependent’s vocabulary
- You feel responsible for your partner’s actions and behaviors. Because LOVE.
- You’re always talking about/worrying about your partner’s issues. In fact, you make them your issues.
- You’ve allowed irresponsible, hurtful behavior in your relationship. Not just physically, but emotionally or financially. Instead of walking away, your deep compassion for this person makes you want to stay and help.
- Your partner’s mood affects your day. In both good and bad ways.
- You always want to know what your partner is doing or thinking. And you often get involved in his or her business.
- Your partner’s needs always seem to be met, while your needs and wants are ignored.
- You have trouble pinpointing your own feelings and thoughts, or you diminish/deny how you feel.
On the other hand, an empath is a person with the paranormal ability to intuitively sense and understand the mental or emotional state of another individual.
A few days ago I became rather overwhelmed while discussing a very emotional topic in my boy's life. He was doing his best to maintain his composure but I was the one who ended up almost becoming an emotional invalid. I didn't eat all day and by the evening I thought I was gonna faint at some stage. It was like I had fully immersed myself in my boy's consciousness and I felt every single thing he felt as we were talking.
On the flip side, I've tried a few Try Not To Cry challenges and they didn't even make me flinch, simply because I have no emotional connection to any of those situations so I couldn't care less.
But because this boy is the love of my life, I can't help but wonder if it's really HIS emotions I was experiencing, or rather what I believed he was feeling. The last thing I want is to see him suffer in any way, and listening to him practically blaming himself for being unable to do anything to change that situation made me want to tear my own heart out.
I've seen quite a few doormats around DXP. Their stories make me facepalm hard because they're allowing their partners to walk all over them and they still worship the ground they walk on. I definitely don't do that. When my boy fucks up, I make him pay for it. I even walked out on him last December and showed him that pieces of my life are not tokens. But I do let him get away with a lot because I deem those things too insignificant to fuss & cause unnecessary friction over.
Still, it was a very unpleasant experience and it affected me for more than 24 hours. Then again, if you don't risk your heart for those who matter the most, then what's the point? I've felt more alive in the past year than the last 20 years of my life.
Also as a Fish, I've displayed a small measure of psychic ability in the past. I'd complete my teacher's sentences before she even knew what she wanted to say, I've had prophetic dreams that came true, I've astral-projected from the dream world into my waking life only to wake up and see it exactly how it was in the dream, I've plucked out of thin air outcomes to situations that hadn't happened yet, etc. It only happens when I'm focused.
So it wouldn't be that bad to find out I'm actually an empath. I mean sure it hurts for a little bit, but then I get over it. I reboot & I'm good as new. Far better than being codependent. Uh, I've actually lost my train of thought but I still remember where I started so I'll just leave it there.
C U
These are 10 of the most telling signs you're in a codependent relationship, and I find myself guilty of a couple of them.
- You’re dating or married to an alcoholic or addict (any kind of addict). And/or you have a history of attracting damaged people into your life.
- You do things for your partner that he or she can and should be doing, all in the name of love. In fact, maybe your mother or sister repeatedly tells you that you help this person a little too much.
- You let your partner have his or her way, and then feel overwhelmed with anger and resentment. “Look at all I do for you!” Is a common phrase in the codependent’s vocabulary
- You feel responsible for your partner’s actions and behaviors. Because LOVE.
- You’re always talking about/worrying about your partner’s issues. In fact, you make them your issues.
- You’ve allowed irresponsible, hurtful behavior in your relationship. Not just physically, but emotionally or financially. Instead of walking away, your deep compassion for this person makes you want to stay and help.
- Your partner’s mood affects your day. In both good and bad ways.
- You always want to know what your partner is doing or thinking. And you often get involved in his or her business.
- Your partner’s needs always seem to be met, while your needs and wants are ignored.
- You have trouble pinpointing your own feelings and thoughts, or you diminish/deny how you feel.
On the other hand, an empath is a person with the paranormal ability to intuitively sense and understand the mental or emotional state of another individual.
A few days ago I became rather overwhelmed while discussing a very emotional topic in my boy's life. He was doing his best to maintain his composure but I was the one who ended up almost becoming an emotional invalid. I didn't eat all day and by the evening I thought I was gonna faint at some stage. It was like I had fully immersed myself in my boy's consciousness and I felt every single thing he felt as we were talking.
On the flip side, I've tried a few Try Not To Cry challenges and they didn't even make me flinch, simply because I have no emotional connection to any of those situations so I couldn't care less.
But because this boy is the love of my life, I can't help but wonder if it's really HIS emotions I was experiencing, or rather what I believed he was feeling. The last thing I want is to see him suffer in any way, and listening to him practically blaming himself for being unable to do anything to change that situation made me want to tear my own heart out.
I've seen quite a few doormats around DXP. Their stories make me facepalm hard because they're allowing their partners to walk all over them and they still worship the ground they walk on. I definitely don't do that. When my boy fucks up, I make him pay for it. I even walked out on him last December and showed him that pieces of my life are not tokens. But I do let him get away with a lot because I deem those things too insignificant to fuss & cause unnecessary friction over.
Still, it was a very unpleasant experience and it affected me for more than 24 hours. Then again, if you don't risk your heart for those who matter the most, then what's the point? I've felt more alive in the past year than the last 20 years of my life.
Also as a Fish, I've displayed a small measure of psychic ability in the past. I'd complete my teacher's sentences before she even knew what she wanted to say, I've had prophetic dreams that came true, I've astral-projected from the dream world into my waking life only to wake up and see it exactly how it was in the dream, I've plucked out of thin air outcomes to situations that hadn't happened yet, etc. It only happens when I'm focused.
So it wouldn't be that bad to find out I'm actually an empath. I mean sure it hurts for a little bit, but then I get over it. I reboot & I'm good as new. Far better than being codependent. Uh, I've actually lost my train of thought but I still remember where I started so I'll just leave it there.
C U
Signed Up: Jan 30, 2017
Comments: 4555 · Posts: 7614 · Topics: 100
Comments: 4555 · Posts: 7614 · Topics: 100
Posted by DeleterNerdGood thing we both have a penis. And I'm the older one so as far as general wisdom goes, I'm at the helm. But he's also teaching me a great deal. We have a co-learning relationship.Posted by sierra_My virgo sun to his virgo moon exact conjunction aspect.Posted by DeleterNerdpls elaborate lol
When you are the moon person, you are the sun persons bitch. Thats what I read anyway. Virgo needs to man up and take care of his bitch imo.
"This aspect represents a relationship in which a woman is dominant. Although between two individuals have a natural affinity, man eventually becomes receptive female follower. With such a relationship different forms of resentment and indignation can be manifested. If a man can take the role of reflecting the light and power of women, this aspect can be the basis for a compatible union."
Lol
Posted by DeleterNerd
I guess thats why it works for me and for Ands relationship too. Leo placements. We love ourselves.click to expand
Yeah no, in the 2 years I've been here I have yet to see him display any capability of behaving like a normal healthy adult. I'd stake Jed's left testicle that she's nothing more than his purely platonic minder or a cover.
But I digress.
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