George Carlin on men and women

I heart this guy. One celeb that I truly miss and was saddened to see go. One of the greatest philosophers of our time.
Given the silly responses in my last thread, I think MANY women (and men) on DXP will learn something from this.

Also, if I remember correctly, this bit is from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

Posted by channingtatumsneck

It's tasty

Posted by Rambunctious76
He is very much missed.

Loved his views on religion and politicians.

Same here. Ten Commandments is one of my all time faves.

wow. very well made.

but pictures and the voice. twice work to do. guess I need a second round.

so who had the nipples first?

Posted by DwellingOnMove
wow. very well made.

but pictures and the voice. twice work to do. guess I need a second round.

so who had the nipples first?

I don't even care about the pics, even though I know they're relevant. I was posting this for the George Carlin bit. It just kept coming up under feminist accounts on youtube. This one wasn't as obnoxious as another that I found.

Posted by Rambunctious76
Taurus sun/Gemini moon, married to a Leo sun/Pisces moon for 36 years until her death* in 1997.

click to expand

He was quite heartbroken after her death too. You could see it in his comedy bits.

Posted by starlover
Intelligent strong observant man........with no women issues :-))


More
Please

He was raised by a single mom, essentially. He also grew up during an era where so much social change was being made as well.

Loved George Carlin. Miss him too.

He made some good points. I think he was doing a little bit exaggerating and not considering that some (if not many women) choose to make things harder on themselves due to whatever trivial reasons but other than that, I'll give him a 5/10.

“Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is twelve thousand years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them.

"Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages? Twelve thousand years."
"Well, how fucking scientific, OK. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good. You believe the world's twelve thousand years old?"
"That's right."
"OK, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?"
"Uh huh."
"Dinosaurs."

You know, the world's twelve thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and existed in that time, you'd think it would been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point:

And O, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in its paw. And the disciples did run a-screamin'. "What a big fucking lizard, Lord!"
"I'm sure gonna mention this in my book," Luke said.
"Well, I'm sure gonna mention it in my book," Matthew said.
But Jesus was unafraid. And he took the splinter from the brontosaurus paw, and the brontosaurus became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch, O so many years, attracting fat American families with their fat fuckin' dollars to look for the Loch Ness Monster. And O the Scots did praise the Lord: "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Twelve thousand years old. But I actually asked this guy, "OK, dinosaur fossils-- how does that fit into your scheme of life? What's the deal?" He goes:

"God put those here to test our faith."
"I think God put you here to test my faith, dude. I think I've figured this out."

Does that-- That's what this guy said. Does that bother anyone here? The idea that God might be fucking with our heads? Anyone have trouble sleeping restfully with that thought in their head? God's running around burying fossils: "Ho ho! We'll see who believes in me now, ha ha! I'm a prankster God. I am killing me, ho ho ho!" You know? You die, you go to St. Peter:

"Did you believe in dinosaurs?"
"Well, yeah. There were fossils everywhere. (trapdoor opens) Aaaaarhhh!"
"You fuckin' idiot! Flying lizards? You're a moron. God was fuckin' with you!"
"It seemed so plausible, aaaaaahh!"
"Enjoy the lake of fire, fucker!"

They believe this. But you ever notice how people who believe in Creationism usually look pretty unevolved. Eyes really close together, big furry hands and feet? "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it.

Such a weird belief. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he's gonna want to see a fucking cross, man? "Ow." Might be why he hasn't shown up yet.

"Man, they're still wearing crosses. Fuck it, I'm not goin' back, Dad. No, they totally missed the point. When they start wearing fishes, I might show up again, but... let me bury fossils with you, Dad. Fuck 'em, let's fuck with 'em! Hand me that brontosaurus head, Dad.”

George Carlin and Bill Hicks...there will never be someone like them.

I loved Carlin - definitely *not* one of the great philosophers of our time (if that was meant literally), but he was one of the most interesting stand-up acts IMO.

George Carlin is the shit.

I was raised listening/watching his stuff. I don't think there hasn't been anything I've yet to see that he's done, so it surprises me that people are surprised he has these view points. His later years were him picking apart all the bullshit in society and day to day life.

R.I.P. to one of the most REAL people who influenced this world....loved him.



"Pro-life... these people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! What kind of pro-life is that? They'll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? They're not pro-life. You know what they are? They're anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman -- they don't like them. They don't like women. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. Pro-life, you don't see many of these anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? No, that might be something Christ would do! And you won't see a lot of these pro-life people dousing themselves in kerosene and lighting themselves on fire. You know, morally committed people in South Vietnam knew how to stage a god-damned demonstration, didn't they? They knew how to put on a fuckin' protest. Light youself on fire! Come on, you moral crusaders, let's see a little smoke to match that fire in your belly."
~George Carlin~

"Now, speaking of consistency, Catholics - which I was until I reached the age of reason -- Catholics and other Christians are against abortions, and they're against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? Leave these fucking people alone, for Christ sakes! Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion, and the Catholics and Christians are just tossing them aside! You'd think they'd make natural allies. Go look for consistency in religion."
~George Carlin~

"..And speaking of my friends, the Catholics, when John Cardinal O'Connor of New York, and some of these other Cardinals and Bishops have experienced their first pregnancies and their first labor pains, and they've raised a couple of children on minimum wage, then I'll be glad to hear what they have to say about abortion. I'm sure it will be interesting and enlightening..."
~George Carlin~

😄

"Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature." ~George Carlin~

"Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.” ~George Carlin~

"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong." ~George Carlin~

"So maybe it’s not the politicians who suck; maybe it’s something else. Like the public. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: “The public sucks. Elect me.” Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? Where are these people hiding? The truth is, we don’t have people like that. Everyone’s at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. And complaining about the politicians."
~George Carlin~

"Here’s some bumper stickers I’d like to see:

“We have a daughter in public school who hasn’t been knocked up yet.”
“We have a son in public school who hasn’t shot any of his classmates yet. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. Plus he knocked up your daughter.”
“We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus.”
~George Carlin~

Posted by starlover
George, one of the few male feminists

Actually, many guys are feminist, they just don't know it or identify because they don't know. Feminism is so misused and abused as a term that people don't really know what it is. Feminism is where one agrees that both genders should be treated equally.

If a guy (or woman) doesn't believe this then no, they aren't.

Posted by Huldra
RIP fellow Gemini moon

he was a gem moon? no wonder.

he seemed like he had so much in his head, and can't stop thinking, or moving around.

probably has difficult sleeping too, like a 3rd house moon.

it's good he used his talents to make people laugh and enjoy life through his eyes.

Saw him once a few months before he croaked. He's a genius and ain't afraid to tell it how it is. Some woman up front was talking on the phone during his performance. He reamed her ass out and said "Why the fuck are you going to buy a ticket to see me, then talk through the whole show? Someone slip a cock in this bitches mouth so shell shut the fuck up!"

Posted by starlover

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Huldra
RIP fellow Gemini moon

he was a gem moon? no wonder.

he seemed like he had so much in his head, and can't stop thinking, or moving around.

probably has difficult sleeping too, like a 3rd house moon.

it's good he used his talents to make people laugh and enjoy life through his eyes.

Quite a lot of Taurus in his chart too Lisa

click to expand

that's true. (a stellium!!) had to recheck.

11th house moon too. Hm 😕

Posted by starlover
Yes equality. I wonder how so many people manage to misconstrue that?

Seems plenty do

It's always the extremists who go and ruin a good thing for everyone.

Posted by Hemispheres
Saw him once a few months before he croaked. He's a genius and ain't afraid to tell it how it is. Some woman up front was talking on the phone during his performance. He reamed her ass out and said "Why the fuck are you going to buy a ticket to see me, then talk through the whole show? Someone slip a cock in this bitches mouth so shell shut the fuck up!"

click to expand

lolz

I love it when comedians call out people for doing shit like that.