Getting Over Depression

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by Jade_Alexander on Tuesday, July 24, 2018 and has 27 replies.
Ever since the break up in May I’ve been dealing with break up depression. It’s annoying AF to deal with. I’m doing everything ‘right’ to move on yet the unhappiness seems to follow. I’m focusing on self growth, I’m challenging myself with a new career, putting energy into my friendships, taking time to work on my hobbies, therapy twice a month, started working with a nutritionist and lost a bunch of weight.

I’m not sitting at home eating ice cream and crying in front of the TV! And yet the feelings, they’re all there. I’m just sick and tired of it! I just want to feel happy again.

Any tips or suggestions? Anything that helped you?
Posted by FantamRooster

I had to take antidepressants on top of all the stuff you're doing to deal with break-up depressions. I have major depressive disorder and sometimes get depressed for no reason at all, so you might not be the same as me. I just couldn't kick the chemicals into gear without help.

The other thing is time. It always takes me a lot longer to get over things than I think it should.
I was struggling with depression after the birth of my last child. But after seeing my midwife and therapist they felt I needed more support (and less emotional abuse).

I’m going to bring it up again. From the outside I look like I’m progressing well. But inside I feel stuck.
Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by FantamRooster

I had to take antidepressants on top of all the stuff you're doing to deal with break-up depressions. I have major depressive disorder and sometimes get depressed for no reason at all, so you might not be the same as me. I just couldn't kick the chemicals into gear without help.

The other thing is time. It always takes me a lot longer to get over things than I think it should.
I was struggling with depression after the birth of my last child. But after seeing my midwife and therapist they felt I needed more support (and less emotional abuse).

I’m going to bring it up again. From the outside I look like I’m progressing well. But inside I feel stuck.
Are you still experiencing emotional abuse? It's really hard to keep your head up when you have someone beating you down.
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Not regularly anymore. But any sort of exchange with my kids father leaves me fatigued, emotionally drained and usually depressed the rest of the day. Like my body immediately shuts down when he talks to me.
Posted by Arielle83

I still have it here and there. It’s hard cuz I make it clear we can’t be together, but he keeps trying to hang out but he’s now being nice and all that shit. He will always be in my life. I just think it’s shit it didn’t work out the way we thought it would.

I feel better after 5 weeks vacation in my home country. But now I’m going home and have to deal with figuring out filing divorce.

I’ve had about 5 weeks away from him to process. I’ll be seeing him again regularly in a few more weeks and I’m anxious how that will go. We will cross paths daily for years and that doesn’t give me closure.

Dealing with separation and all that isn’t helping. My husband is now doing all the things I asked for 6 years ago. He still wants to work on us, I feel guilty walking away. I *should* work on us because we have kids, but I don’t love him at all anymore. I feel selfish for putting my happiness first. My family makes it clear divorce will define and ruin my children’s lives...
Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Ever since the break up in May I’ve been dealing with break up depression. It’s annoying AF to deal with. I’m doing everything ‘right’ to move on yet the unhappiness seems to follow. I’m focusing on self growth, I’m challenging myself with a new career, putting energy into my friendships, taking time to work on my hobbies, therapy twice a month, started working with a nutritionist and lost a bunch of weight.

I’m not sitting at home eating ice cream and crying in front of the TV! And yet the feelings, they’re all there. I’m just sick and tired of it! I just want to feel happy again.

Any tips or suggestions? Anything that helped you?
It takes time when they really meant something to you. I know for me (aqua moon) I have to let myself let the feelings in cuz I’m always afraid they are going to destroy me. So a little at a time, but it’s okay to allow them and not expect to be over it right away. I had a really hard time earlier this year after breakup with the Cap. I feel like it was mourning more than depression but i was definitely in breakup depression for a few months.
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I’ve been dealing with the feelings, I’ve been allowing myself opportunities to mourn. I just can’t seem to progress any further. I’ve hit this wall...

I started off doing really good, then it just hit like a ton of bricks.

I hope he’s miserable as well. Somehow that makes me feel better. Because I would feel stupid being this upset and he just got over it.
Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Ever since the break up in May I’ve been dealing with break up depression. It’s annoying AF to deal with. I’m doing everything ‘right’ to move on yet the unhappiness seems to follow. I’m focusing on self growth, I’m challenging myself with a new career, putting energy into my friendships, taking time to work on my hobbies, therapy twice a month, started working with a nutritionist and lost a bunch of weight.

I’m not sitting at home eating ice cream and crying in front of the TV! And yet the feelings, they’re all there. I’m just sick and tired of it! I just want to feel happy again.

Any tips or suggestions? Anything that helped you?
It takes time when they really meant something to you. I know for me (aqua moon) I have to let myself let the feelings in cuz I’m always afraid they are going to destroy me. So a little at a time, but it’s okay to allow them and not expect to be over it right away. I had a really hard time earlier this year after breakup with the Cap. I feel like it was mourning more than depression but i was definitely in breakup depression for a few months.
I’ve been dealing with the feelings, I’ve been allowing myself opportunities to mourn. I just can’t seem to progress any further. I’ve hit this wall...

I started off doing really good, then it just hit like a ton of bricks.

I hope he’s miserable as well. Somehow that makes me feel better. Because I would feel stupid being this upset and he just got over it.
It is what it is. I just take it as knowing how I felt for the person. Can’t worry about them! My ex disappears & right to someone else & I still had feelings for months asshole! Lol

I know that for him, he cuts it off like a cold-hearted jerk but later the feelings come in. We split up last year too & he comes back 3 months later saying he missed me so much the whole time. Whatever! He’s an idiot. Just saying different people have different ways of handling it. I prefer not to do meds even though it could make it easier in the short term. Then it would be easier not to deal with it. Now my daughter has severe anxiety & depression and is on meds.. it seems more a chemical issue. That’s a different situation. So it all depends on each case I’d say.
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If I’m six months out and still the same I will need meds. It’s been two months and he was in my life daily for 3 years. It’s unrealistic of me to think I’ll just be over him.

I think knowing he’s hurting is comforting because he meant so much to me, I want to mean something to him. Otherwise, I just feel foolish for even allowing him into my heart.
Find a hobby.
Posted by AerialView

Find a hobby.
I have many hobbies. I have an active social life. I’m buying a business and starting a totally new career.

As I mentioned, not sitting home doing nothing.
Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by AerialView

Find a hobby.
I have many hobbies. I have an active social life. I’m buying a business and starting a totally new career.

As I mentioned, not sitting home doing nothing.
click to expand
Would you share what your hobbies are?
Posted by AerialView

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by AerialView

Find a hobby.
I have many hobbies. I have an active social life. I’m buying a business and starting a totally new career.

As I mentioned, not sitting home doing nothing.
Would you share what your hobbies are?
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I’ve been reading a ton, books in just a few hours. I’m teaching myself ukelele as well. I paint in the evenings. Working on my yard, my garden my chickens. Plus research for my business...

Then the typical social stuff I do with friends.
Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by AerialView

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by AerialView

Find a hobby.
I have many hobbies. I have an active social life. I’m buying a business and starting a totally new career.

As I mentioned, not sitting home doing nothing.
Would you share what your hobbies are?
I’ve been reading a ton, books in just a few hours. I’m teaching myself ukelele as well. I paint in the evenings. Working on my yard, my garden my chickens. Plus research for my business...

Then the typical social stuff I do with friends.
click to expand
It's ukulele not ukelele 😜

Posted by AerialView

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by AerialView

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by AerialView

Find a hobby.
I have many hobbies. I have an active social life. I’m buying a business and starting a totally new career.

As I mentioned, not sitting home doing nothing.
Would you share what your hobbies are?
I’ve been reading a ton, books in just a few hours. I’m teaching myself ukelele as well. I paint in the evenings. Working on my yard, my garden my chickens. Plus research for my business...

Then the typical social stuff I do with friends.
It's ukulele not ukelele 😜


click to expand
I spelt it wrong? Interesting... My autocorrect is crazy and often changes words for me... my screen is currently covered in acrylic paint so my view is limited.

I painted two nights ago and got it EVERYWHERE!
It takes some time - but you're on the right path. If we're to take in consideration the 5 stages of grief - Depression is the 4th step on that list. Last is Acceptance (of reality... it is what is / nothing left but to move on). See if this helps...

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/
Posted by Boring

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Ever since the break up in May I’ve been dealing with break up depression. It’s annoying AF to deal with. I’m doing everything ‘right’ to move on yet the unhappiness seems to follow. I’m focusing on self growth, I’m challenging myself with a new career, putting energy into my friendships, taking time to work on my hobbies, therapy twice a month, started working with a nutritionist and lost a bunch of weight.

I’m not sitting at home eating ice cream and crying in front of the TV! And yet the feelings, they’re all there. I’m just sick and tired of it! I just want to feel happy again.

Any tips or suggestions? Anything that helped you?
I feel you, I just broke up with my gf.

The feelings are natural. I just dive in them and let myself feel and experience everything related to the separation. I don't wait for the feelings to stop. I live with them while trying to better myself and be productive. Be patient, losing a person you loved is always difficult. Move on with your own pace.
click to expand
It’s hard to do this when you want to feel whole again.

The guy and I spoke briefly a few days ago. It was nice to see we can still have conversation but my heart felt closed to him. It didn’t want to be venerable. So I hope this means I’m moving on.

Kinda nice to hear a guy struggling, I keep assuming this dude is a cyborg and just flips the switch to off. I’m wallowing in feelings and he’s just fine carrying on.
Posted by Boring

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by Boring

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Ever since the break up in May I’ve been dealing with break up depression. It’s annoying AF to deal with. I’m doing everything ‘right’ to move on yet the unhappiness seems to follow. I’m focusing on self growth, I’m challenging myself with a new career, putting energy into my friendships, taking time to work on my hobbies, therapy twice a month, started working with a nutritionist and lost a bunch of weight.

I’m not sitting at home eating ice cream and crying in front of the TV! And yet the feelings, they’re all there. I’m just sick and tired of it! I just want to feel happy again.

Any tips or suggestions? Anything that helped you?
I feel you, I just broke up with my gf.

The feelings are natural. I just dive in them and let myself feel and experience everything related to the separation. I don't wait for the feelings to stop. I live with them while trying to better myself and be productive. Be patient, losing a person you loved is always difficult. Move on with your own pace.
It’s hard to do this when you want to feel whole again.

The guy and I spoke briefly a few days ago. It was nice to see we can still have conversation but my heart felt closed to him. It didn’t want to be venerable. So I hope this means I’m moving on.

Kinda nice to hear a guy struggling, I keep assuming this dude is a cyborg and just flips the switch to off. I’m wallowing in feelings and he’s just fine carrying on.
We all suffer in our own way.

Stay positive
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Thank you. Judging by our conversation he missed our friendship too. Hoping we can salvage that in the next few months.
Posted by GemCurio

It sounds to me like you need to grieve properly. All those self help proof positive actions are great, but without going through the natural courses of loss in life they avail nothing. Grieve the relationships for you and your family, grieve the changes necessary in your life because of your choices, grieve the heartache and realization of time loss. Grieve the reality to being single after a failed Happily Ever After. It isn't until we deal with these internal ideas we based our lives on up until our current situation, accepting the things we cannot change mentally and emotionally, do we find the actual ability to leave it behind us. In actions it's never really enough to leave people. We have to deal with who they actually are inside of us. And sometimes, we discover that they were the biggest part of us while grieving. No actions can help us escape our own self. I truly hope you're feeling better. You're too much of a hottie to only get admired by the local bagger in the grocery store..
Thank you for your kind words. My frustration is logically I understand these concepts but emotionally it hasn’t set it.

I just keep wanting this to process faster! Like c’mon, let’s move forward... stop wasting today on yesterday!
Posted by MissKrabs

you are doing everything you can. you are not a robot to move on just like that. nothing wrong with you. you simply need time, and don't deny yourself that.
I’ve been called emotionally robotic... But als, apparently I am not.
Posted by neves

It takes some time - but you're on the right path. If we're to take in consideration the 5 stages of grief - Depression is the 4th step on that list. Last is Acceptance (of reality... it is what is / nothing left but to move on). See if this helps...

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/
Ah yes, stages of grief.... I’ve been through most of them. I actually don’t really do anger. I’m waiting for that one to pop up.... it will probably be the last and ugliest stage since I repress it.
Posted by i-xy

Don't move on just yet. Give time to grieve for your loss.
Not wanting to move on romantically, just emotionally.

Posted by MephistoZap

I saw someone on here write that Libra and Aquarius end up friend zoning each other. I’ve had 3 different experiences with aquas and different things happened that caused this but it all ended the same way. This happens and I’m reading on here that Gems don’t like Libra. I know a Gem and Libra pair that dated for a few years and didn’t last. Maybe we don’t pair up that well with other air signs relationship wise? Hmm.. Im sorry your hurting right now. Hope you feel better soon! It really just takes some time to heal and move on.
I married an Air Sign... fellow Libra...

I think relationships are complicated either way. This Aquarius was probably the least predictable person I’ve ever met... so no way a relationship was going yes be easy.

I’m okay with being friend zoned at this point. We were friends before, we tried, we can go back to it again.
Until you give up all expectations of others or anything being able to heal you, you won't heal

I did it for a while and then didn't and the changes were transformational

For lots of women, the birth process can open up deep issues which were deeply buried. Ultimately it's all good, albeit painful

I've heard it called the "mother wound"

💙
Posted by MyStarsShine

Until you give up all expectations of others or anything being able to heal you, you won't heal

I did it for a while and then didn't and the changes were transformational

For lots of women, the birth process can open up deep issues which were deeply buried. Ultimately it's all good, albeit painful

I've heard it called the "mother wound"

💙
I’ve had really amazing births. My eldest was almost 11 years ago. No trauma relate there.

In my case my marriage created most of the wounds.
Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by MyStarsShine

Until you give up all expectations of others or anything being able to heal you, you won't heal

I did it for a while and then didn't and the changes were transformational

For lots of women, the birth process can open up deep issues which were deeply buried. Ultimately it's all good, albeit painful

I've heard it called the "mother wound"

💙
I’ve had really amazing births. My eldest was almost 11 years ago. No trauma relate there.

In my case my marriage created most of the wounds.
click to expand
You misunderstood me..

Pluto stuff I guess....water....
Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by MyStarsShine

Until you give up all expectations of others or anything being able to heal you, you won't heal

I did it for a while and then didn't and the changes were transformational

For lots of women, the birth process can open up deep issues which were deeply buried. Ultimately it's all good, albeit painful

I've heard it called the "mother wound"

💙
I’ve had really amazing births. My eldest was almost 11 years ago. No trauma relate there.

In my case my marriage created most of the wounds.
You misunderstood me..

Pluto stuff I guess....water....
click to expand
I must have.... although I tend to be very literal when reading...
Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by MyStarsShine

Until you give up all expectations of others or anything being able to heal you, you won't heal

I did it for a while and then didn't and the changes were transformational

For lots of women, the birth process can open up deep issues which were deeply buried. Ultimately it's all good, albeit painful

I've heard it called the "mother wound"

💙
I’ve had really amazing births. My eldest was almost 11 years ago. No trauma relate there.

In my case my marriage created most of the wounds.
You misunderstood me..

Pluto stuff I guess....water....
I must have.... although I tend to be very literal when reading...
click to expand
No problem

Air and water....very different smile

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by MyStarsShine

Until you give up all expectations of others or anything being able to heal you, you won't heal

I did it for a while and then didn't and the changes were transformational

For lots of women, the birth process can open up deep issues which were deeply buried. Ultimately it's all good, albeit painful

I've heard it called the "mother wound"

💙
I’ve had really amazing births. My eldest was almost 11 years ago. No trauma relate there.

In my case my marriage created most of the wounds.
You misunderstood me..

Pluto stuff I guess....water....
I must have.... although I tend to be very literal when reading...
No problem

Air and water....very different smile

click to expand
I have a lot of Scorpio in me... but my thinking process of cut and dry...
Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by MyStarsShine

Until you give up all expectations of others or anything being able to heal you, you won't heal

I did it for a while and then didn't and the changes were transformational

For lots of women, the birth process can open up deep issues which were deeply buried. Ultimately it's all good, albeit painful

I've heard it called the "mother wound"

💙
I’ve had really amazing births. My eldest was almost 11 years ago. No trauma relate there.

In my case my marriage created most of the wounds.
You misunderstood me..

Pluto stuff I guess....water....
I must have.... although I tend to be very literal when reading...
No problem

Air and water....very different smile

I have a lot of Scorpio in me... but my thinking process of cut and dry...
click to expand
And I am the opposite.......nothing is cut and dried to me

Scorpio dominant. . .