have you ever considered an open relationship?
This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by trifles light as air* on Thursday, November 4, 2010 and has 15 replies.
Signed Up: Oct 19, 2009
Comments: 2 · Posts: 3907 · Topics: 13
Comments: 2 · Posts: 3907 · Topics: 13
i realize that this can be quite a controversial topic, but i would like to *try* to keep the discussion on this open, honest, & rational........if possible.....
& in addition to the question the topic asks,
for those who have considered an open relationship,
what caused you to begin considering it?
did you bring it up or did your partner?
did you try it?
if so, how has it worked out?
for those who have not, can you ever picture yourself having the desire to try it? would you ever consider it? why or why not?
& in addition to the question the topic asks,
for those who have considered an open relationship,
what caused you to begin considering it?
did you bring it up or did your partner?
did you try it?
if so, how has it worked out?
for those who have not, can you ever picture yourself having the desire to try it? would you ever consider it? why or why not?
Just imagining myself in one hurts.
What open relationship..?
You mean bed partner(s)? Then you are whoring yourself because the rest can be summed up as a simple friendship!
Nope. That would be too masochistic for me.
I had a little taste of that while dating an Aries for almost a year.
NO THANK YOU!
O hey, if you're interested, there's this movie titled, "Breaking Upwards", based on the protagonists' actual relationship. They star in their own movie and re-enacted their relationship when they decided to have an open relationship. It's a-ite, but the concept is interesting.
I had a little taste of that while dating an Aries for almost a year.
NO THANK YOU!
O hey, if you're interested, there's this movie titled, "Breaking Upwards", based on the protagonists' actual relationship. They star in their own movie and re-enacted their relationship when they decided to have an open relationship. It's a-ite, but the concept is interesting.
If I had too much going on in my life to be serious with anyone I might be open to it.
But then again, why would I even bother getting into a "relationship" in the first place - and calling it a relationship?! Couldn't we just consider ourselves hooking up? We're clearly not committed if we're sleeping with other people... :/
In some ways I feel like people who want open relationships are only wanting an excuse to do shady shit guiltfree because their partner and they had an "agreement."
I don't know if I would ever be 100% comfortable with the idea of sleeping with someone who is sleeping with someone else either, btw. I don't know who that person is banging...so on and so forth...just sounds like a mess.
But then again, why would I even bother getting into a "relationship" in the first place - and calling it a relationship?! Couldn't we just consider ourselves hooking up? We're clearly not committed if we're sleeping with other people... :/
In some ways I feel like people who want open relationships are only wanting an excuse to do shady shit guiltfree because their partner and they had an "agreement."
I don't know if I would ever be 100% comfortable with the idea of sleeping with someone who is sleeping with someone else either, btw. I don't know who that person is banging...so on and so forth...just sounds like a mess.
I'll answer this again here, just for shits and giggles... I DO NOT SHARE! Ahhhhhh, feel so much better now. Phew!
Is this like The 2 Girls One Cup type of Open relationship. If yes, FUCK NO 
Virgos and other earth types peeps are loyal and committed people. I don't just see it happening on my part. It's just not right and down right disgusting.
Virgos and other earth types peeps are loyal and committed people. I don't just see it happening on my part. It's just not right and down right disgusting.
Posted by Prince_Pisces
I think it could work
Fix'd.
First I'd have to try and get my head around a FWB then I might consider tying to get my head around an Open relationship...
Nah, there are just some things that cant be re-programmed!
Nah, there are just some things that cant be re-programmed!
I put little importance into the body, as being a definition of my being ... the ego would tell people that the body is the most important, and therefore we consider the body as the main factor in personal relationships. For me, there would be no open, nor closed relationship in this form of measurement as to the value of my committed relationship.
If I feel, or he feels to be bound to each other than I will, he will .. so, feelings are the basis of the relationship which breaks, or makes .. therefore, feelings are the only way to be able actually measure whether it could be handled of open or closed.
I'm certain that nearly every person in here who answered this thread, did so considering their bodies, and the physical interactions of the two parties, as to whether they could do open or closed ... and never even considered the REAL foundation of a relationship.
Feelings
I would also be willing wager at this point that every person in here who said that they would never do an open relationship has also emotionally cheated ... and then slept with their partner, never mentioning this indiscretion.
If you come pour your emotions out to a person about your love who isn't your partner ... then you've just had an open relationship, without the partners knowledge of course.
Yes, is my answer to the question .... I think that everybody probably needs to feel validated through multiple of people, in order to love completely. Love is suppose to be spread, not hoarded. I think that if you cannot love your neighbor, then you cannot love yourself, so how can you possibly claim to love a partner?
This question of the physical body is absurd to me ... how can a person say they wouldn't even consider an open relationship and then turn around tomorrow with her girlfriends and be open with how they feel about a man at work who looked at her with a wonton stare?
If I feel, or he feels to be bound to each other than I will, he will .. so, feelings are the basis of the relationship which breaks, or makes .. therefore, feelings are the only way to be able actually measure whether it could be handled of open or closed.
I'm certain that nearly every person in here who answered this thread, did so considering their bodies, and the physical interactions of the two parties, as to whether they could do open or closed ... and never even considered the REAL foundation of a relationship.
Feelings
I would also be willing wager at this point that every person in here who said that they would never do an open relationship has also emotionally cheated ... and then slept with their partner, never mentioning this indiscretion.
If you come pour your emotions out to a person about your love who isn't your partner ... then you've just had an open relationship, without the partners knowledge of course.
Yes, is my answer to the question .... I think that everybody probably needs to feel validated through multiple of people, in order to love completely. Love is suppose to be spread, not hoarded. I think that if you cannot love your neighbor, then you cannot love yourself, so how can you possibly claim to love a partner?
This question of the physical body is absurd to me ... how can a person say they wouldn't even consider an open relationship and then turn around tomorrow with her girlfriends and be open with how they feel about a man at work who looked at her with a wonton stare?
I don't think people, for the most part, understand their existence.
Pee..
Yes, is my answer to the question .... I think that everybody probably needs to feel validated through multiple of people, in order to love completely. Love is suppose to be spread, not hoarded. I think that if you cannot love your neighbor, then you cannot love yourself, so how can you possibly claim to love a partner?
I think that you completely misunderstood love in the first place, love is suppose to be first recognised, then accepted then honoured on personal level..
Relationships between humans are not love, love is much more than sharing a bed with someone!
Yes, is my answer to the question .... I think that everybody probably needs to feel validated through multiple of people, in order to love completely. Love is suppose to be spread, not hoarded. I think that if you cannot love your neighbor, then you cannot love yourself, so how can you possibly claim to love a partner?
I think that you completely misunderstood love in the first place, love is suppose to be first recognised, then accepted then honoured on personal level..
Relationships between humans are not love, love is much more than sharing a bed with someone!
Posted by SatoriFierce
We are a schizophrenic species; desiring the security of monogamy but also the freedom (but also extra responsibility) and benefits of non-monogomy.
Satori, I'm certain that this stems from religious conditioning .... we are trained, or brainwashed as it were, from birth, being lead towards monogamy, being told this is the proper way to love and be loved .. yet ..
... our instincts aren't in agreement with this, and niether is nature ... I believe that if people were able to grow past god, they would find that their feelings on this topic would change and they'd no longer find the same security.
I've considered being in an open relationship. (Why is no one surprised!) But it was more just a mental curiosity of whether I could or would, rather than a serious conversation with someone who I was interested in.
I know a couple of people that are in open-relationships. One acquaintance lives with her two husbands. She once invited me to a birthday party with a number of people who were in polyrelationships. I have never had less fun in my life. Everyone was in tears and crying and upset. I just kept buying drinks for people to try and cheer them up. It was very uncomfortable. There was so much drama going on ... this person didn't end their date with this person on time ... this person was suppose to do this ... this person needs to talk about their relationship with their other partner. I just couldn't handle it. I am pretty light touch. It was just way too much for me and I wasn't involved or wanted to be involved in either the drama or the life style . lol.
To me, it just seemed like a lot of organizing and way more balancing of people's emotional needs. There just seemed to be so much juggling and so much unhappiness, I wondered if it was just a form of escapism. The whole affair just seems like a layer of complexity that isn't really necessary.
I don't believe in ALWAYS or NEVER but I don't think I would be interested. I am looking for one person that I can count on and don't have to worry about sharing and if everyone is getting their needs met. I think for me, it would mentally unravel me.
Everyone is different. The girl that I knew is now married to two of her lovers and they all live together so maybe they figured out a system that worked better then when I first met her?
The poly-lesbian I knew and her gf, seemed a lot more grounded about the whole thing. They told each other about their sexual conquests as a form of love-play during love-making. I never her terribly well nor was I ever exposed to her inner-world so I really can't say, but they both seemed much happier than the hetero couples I met at that bday party.
I know a couple of people that are in open-relationships. One acquaintance lives with her two husbands. She once invited me to a birthday party with a number of people who were in polyrelationships. I have never had less fun in my life. Everyone was in tears and crying and upset. I just kept buying drinks for people to try and cheer them up. It was very uncomfortable. There was so much drama going on ... this person didn't end their date with this person on time ... this person was suppose to do this ... this person needs to talk about their relationship with their other partner. I just couldn't handle it. I am pretty light touch. It was just way too much for me and I wasn't involved or wanted to be involved in either the drama or the life style . lol.
To me, it just seemed like a lot of organizing and way more balancing of people's emotional needs. There just seemed to be so much juggling and so much unhappiness, I wondered if it was just a form of escapism. The whole affair just seems like a layer of complexity that isn't really necessary.
I don't believe in ALWAYS or NEVER but I don't think I would be interested. I am looking for one person that I can count on and don't have to worry about sharing and if everyone is getting their needs met. I think for me, it would mentally unravel me.
Everyone is different. The girl that I knew is now married to two of her lovers and they all live together so maybe they figured out a system that worked better then when I first met her?
The poly-lesbian I knew and her gf, seemed a lot more grounded about the whole thing. They told each other about their sexual conquests as a form of love-play during love-making. I never her terribly well nor was I ever exposed to her inner-world so I really can't say, but they both seemed much happier than the hetero couples I met at that bday party.
Don't disagree with hem, but I for one could not do it.
I am a jealous freak and want my man to myself.
It's hard enough for me because he is such a free spirit.
I am a jealous freak and want my man to myself.
It's hard enough for me because he is such a free spirit.
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