Hey, so you know what's cool?

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by GemsRaGalsBestPal on Friday, December 13, 2013 and has 65 replies.
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Apologies.
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Anyone..... maybe have one they want to make?
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I never apologise.
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Posted by WaterCup
I never apologise.


I can understand that, but do you ever apologize? smile
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Apologies are hard for me to understand & I don't fully accept them either from grown people. Well unless they have mental issues, or other disorders that make them unable to think straight.. therefore cannot be held accountable for any of their actions. A sane person that does something that they know is going to be hurtful, damaging, etc & yet expect it to be forgiven by just saying how sorry they are is full of shit imho.
I don't say sorry because I'm really not... everything I say or do is deserved, AT THE TIME. So I won't turn around & fake an apology. Sorry
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I apologize for piecake. Its become the crystal meth of the bakery world....
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I would apologize to the asshole trolls out there....
....But they would still be asshole trolls to the decent folks around here....
....and they would still deserve to be stuffed into a glass display case.
....So no...
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Posted by Rabbit
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
I apologize for piecake. Its become the crystal meth of the bakery world....


I'm experimenting with piefruitcake.

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I'll let you use my distribution network for a cut of the profits..
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Posted by WaterCup
Apologies are hard for me to understand & I don't fully accept them either from grown people. Well unless they have mental issues, or other disorders that make them unable to think straight.. therefore cannot be held accountable for any of their actions. A sane person that does something that they know is going to be hurtful, damaging, etc & yet expect it to be forgiven by just saying how sorry they are is full of shit imho.
I don't say sorry because I'm really not... everything I say or do is deserved, AT THE TIME. So I won't turn around & fake an apology. Sorry


My original quoting you was actually a tease about the different spellings of apologize vs apologise depending on where you are in this great big world. smile
As for this statement above, that's rough.... I think the ability to give genuine apologies is a sign of good character. If someone comes to me to tell me that my words or actions have hurt them I reflect on that and am very likely to apologize....
And yes, I completely agree that true and heartfelt apologies do not include the word "but". I also believe the main trademark of an apology is striving above and beyond not to repeat the behavior otherwise the apology is null and void.
It would be a bold, perhaps even an arrogant statement, in my mind, to say that I have never done anything warranting an apology.
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Posted by WaterCup
Apologies are hard for me to understand & I don't fully accept them either from grown people. Well unless they have mental issues, or other disorders that make them unable to think straight.. therefore cannot be held accountable for any of their actions. A sane person that does something that they know is going to be hurtful, damaging, etc & yet expect it to be forgiven by just saying how sorry they are is full of shit imho.
I don't say sorry because I'm really not... everything I say or do is deserved, AT THE TIME. So I won't turn around & fake an apology. Sorry



Well, how about an apology if you are late to something and someone has been waiting...? Or you forgot to do something you promised and so on...?
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Posted by seraph
Posted by WaterCup
Apologies are hard for me to understand & I don't fully accept them either from grown people. Well unless they have mental issues, or other disorders that make them unable to think straight.. therefore cannot be held accountable for any of their actions. A sane person that does something that they know is going to be hurtful, damaging, etc & yet expect it to be forgiven by just saying how sorry they are is full of shit imho.
I don't say sorry because I'm really not... everything I say or do is deserved, AT THE TIME. So I won't turn around & fake an apology. Sorry


So you are incapable of feeling remorse?
Surely not. You might have meant to do what you did at the time, but that's why we have the benefit of retrospect - a second look at what we might have done.
Saying that what you did - no matter how horrible - was deserved "at the time", is really a cop-out intended to give yourself the luxury of taking a pass on any moral considerations after the fact; considerations which, by the way, often need to be made.
Having a moral compass also means being cognizant about right and wrong, and being able to genuinely acknowledge that recognition in yourself and in others. Some apologies are indeed genuine, and the ones that are, are gold, because you get to connect with someone on a level deep enough to acknowledge and respect their vulnerabilities. So apologies can do a lot of good for both the giver and receiver.
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^^^ This.
And hello Seraph! smile
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I agree that often times people will say sorry for something they do repeatedly and that's just annoying.
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Posted by Rabbit
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Posted by Rabbit
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
I apologize for piecake. Its become the crystal meth of the bakery world....


I'm experimenting with piefruitcake.



I'll let you use my distribution network for a cut of the profits..


I'm thinking the fruitcake part with lengthen shelf life allowing for export of a fresher product.
I'm think of packaging with David Hasslehoffs face on it and selling it to the Germans.
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Wouldn't that packaging be more appropriate on a pierumcake?
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No remorse. Plus, I've never done anything "horrible" to anyone before. But I say a lot of hurtful things though & they are meant to hurt, because *I* was hurt by them 1st. I only give what I get. If they have no moral compass, I'll have none myself. I'm fair that way.
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Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Posted by WaterCup
Apologies are hard for me to understand & I don't fully accept them either from grown people. Well unless they have mental issues, or other disorders that make them unable to think straight.. therefore cannot be held accountable for any of their actions. A sane person that does something that they know is going to be hurtful, damaging, etc & yet expect it to be forgiven by just saying how sorry they are is full of shit imho.
I don't say sorry because I'm really not... everything I say or do is deserved, AT THE TIME. So I won't turn around & fake an apology. Sorry


My original quoting you was actually a tease about the different spellings of apologize vs apologise depending on where you are in this great big world. smile
As for this statement above, that's rough.... I think the ability to give genuine apologies is a sign of good character. If someone comes to me to tell me that my words or actions have hurt them I reflect on that and am very likely to apologize....
And yes, I completely agree that true and heartfelt apologies do not include the word "but". I also believe the main trademark of an apology is striving above and beyond not to repeat the behavior otherwise the apology is null and void.
It would be a bold, perhaps even an arrogant statement, in my mind, to say that I have never done anything warranting an apology.
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Well I've heard a lot of those from people who really didn't mean it, so I don't care for apologies anymore. Especially apologies about big things. I guess I'm just fed up of all the bullshit. I tolerate very little of that at this stage in my life.
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by WaterCup
Apologies are hard for me to understand & I don't fully accept them either from grown people. Well unless they have mental issues, or other disorders that make them unable to think straight.. therefore cannot be held accountable for any of their actions. A sane person that does something that they know is going to be hurtful, damaging, etc & yet expect it to be forgiven by just saying how sorry they are is full of shit imho.
I don't say sorry because I'm really not... everything I say or do is deserved, AT THE TIME. So I won't turn around & fake an apology. Sorry



Well, how about an apology if you are late to something and someone has been waiting...? Or you forgot to do something you promised and so on...?
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I'm very punctual smile I'll only say sorry if what I did wasn't intentional, like stepping on someone's toe or something. But I won't say sorry if I was provoked & ended up saying anything I shouldn't have said, etc.
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Posted by xcake
Actions speak louder than words.
< width="560" height="315" ="



Yup.
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Fair enough WC, I think we all know what it's like to be fed up and up to your eyeballs in it.
Hopefully, those people who are inconsiderate of you are far, far away in your past and that you have many more genuine people in store for you.
Thing is though, in every relationship, in every friendship.... feelings get hurt, there are misunderstandings, shit just kinda gets jumbled.... I think it's very, very, very amazing when a person can apologize without being defensive (and of course, mean it).
And for the record, I don't accept or make apologies like this:
"I'm sorry you walked in on me fucking your sister/brother, I just slipped and fell into her vagina/on to his manstick."
But I do make and receive ones like these:
"I had no idea my words or actions were making you feel this way. You are very important to me and it is paramount to me not to ever make you feel that way. Thank you for bringing this to my attention and I want you to know I will do everything I can to prevent you from ever feeling this way again."
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Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Fair enough WC, I think we all know what it's like to be fed up and up to your eyeballs in it.
Hopefully, those people who are inconsiderate of you are far, far away in your past and that you have many more genuine people in store for you.
Thing is though, in every relationship, in every friendship.... feelings get hurt, there are misunderstandings, shit just kinda gets jumbled.... I think it's very, very, very amazing when a person can apologize without being defensive (and of course, mean it).
And for the record, I don't accept or make apologies like this:
"I'm sorry you walked in on me fucking your sister/brother, I just slipped and fell into her vagina/on to his manstick."
But I do make and receive ones like these:
"I had no idea my words or actions were making you feel this way. You are very important to me and it is paramount to me not to ever make you feel that way. Thank you for bringing this to my attention and I want you to know I will do everything I can to prevent you from ever feeling this way again."


LOL @ the 1st apology. That's what I meant by "big things", that & other deceitful crap that some people expect to be excused for. As for your 2nd apology, it'll depend on what was said. I'm VERY sensitive to the people I care about. So it all goes back to the sanity I mentioned. Don't act crazy if you're not actually crazy & we'll be okay. I prefer people who think before they speak to me because I'm easily hurt when I care.
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Posted by seraph
Shit, you don't even have to take out a classified ad to even make it.



Posted by GetMisted
GemFiregirl is never going to apologize.
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I want you guys to know that combining these statements has me peeing a little in my pants right now....
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I mean people SHOULD know what's hurtful & what isn't. So saying, you didn't know that something was hurtful is bullshit unless you're two. People shouldn't do things that they wouldn't like done to them & there would be no need for apologies.
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Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Fucking air signs all sensitive & shit.


Only when we care Tongue
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WC - I understand this "I prefer people who think before they speak to me because I'm easily hurt when I care."
However, if you are of the sensitive nature, I find that sometimes those are the types who will take something out of context and get their feelings hurt. In that moment it's very easy to ask for clarification, but few do. So later, when it comes out... an apology is do.
For example, very recently I felt like some of my closest girlfriends continually went on about their problems that I felt were trivial in comparison to a massive life event I have been dealing with. I finally had to tell them that I felt like they were inconsiderate of where I am emotionally.
This would be in my mind a series of moments when I should have spoken up and didn't, where I let things build up rather than saying something. I went to them and explained very honestly where I was at, they apologized because they hadn't realized that they were being inconsiderate of where I was emotionally and that sometimes I can't handle you calling me to bitch about how your husband left the toilet seat up. In turn, I apologized for not saying something earlier.
No harm, no foul.... sometimes people just have to be honest and sometimes apologies are needed. Now my girlfriends could have gotten defensive and told me it was my fault I felt that way and blah, blah, blah, but they didn't.... even though it wasn't something they did on PURPOSE, they saw the need for an apology and I realized they were also due one.
That's bonding. People cannot always be perfect.... that's a long fall down.
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Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
WC - I understand this "I prefer people who think before they speak to me because I'm easily hurt when I care."
However, if you are of the sensitive nature, I find that sometimes those are the types who will take something out of context and get their feelings hurt. In that moment it's very easy to ask for clarification, but few do. So later, when it comes out... an apology is do.
For example, very recently I felt like some of my closest girlfriends continually went on about their problems that I felt were trivial in comparison to a massive life event I have been dealing with. I finally had to tell them that I felt like they were inconsiderate of where I am emotionally.
This would be in my mind a series of moments when I should have spoken up and didn't, where I let things build up rather than saying something. I went to them and explained very honestly where I was at, they apologized because they hadn't realized that they were being inconsiderate of where I was emotionally and that sometimes I can't handle you calling me to bitch about how your husband left the toilet seat up. In turn, I apologized for not saying something earlier.
No harm, no foul.... sometimes people just have to be honest and sometimes apologies are needed. Now my girlfriends could have gotten defensive and told me it was my fault I felt that way and blah, blah, blah, but they didn't.... even though it wasn't something they did on PURPOSE, they saw the need for an apology and I realized they were also due one.
That's bonding. People cannot always be perfect.... that's a long fall down.


I don't know why, but I do have very high expectations of those closest to me. Plus I never expect anything I'm not willing to give myself. I always treat people how I want to be treated, reason why I get hurt sometimes when I feel I'm not being treated fairly. So it's either you do things right (how I like them Tongue), or get lost. No apologies/compromises about the treatment I want & expect. I have very few people in my life for that reason- those who tick just like me.
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"Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to."
Ain't that some scaaaaaaaaaaaary shit. smile
But then there's this one too....
"???I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.?? - Marilyn Monroe.
I like that one because expecting people to ALWAYS be perfect and the moment they slip up they're toast.... man, that's steep and a fuck-ton of pressure.
However, to each their own! smile
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Posted by WaterCup
I mean people SHOULD know what's hurtful & what isn't. So saying, you didn't know that something was hurtful is bullshit


It no longer surprises me at what people don't know. many people just aren't raised right. I work with kids and sometimes I have to wonder what the hell is wrong with some of them. Then I meet the parents... omg, so many varying levels of stupidity to behold. The kids can learn but is it game over their parents? please lord no
People learn from making mistakes and growing from them. When someone generally lacks awareness in a situation, takes time to reflect on how their actions have affected others and apologizes with the intent to not repeat said behaviour in the future.... I can appreciate that. I'm all for reducing the number of asinine acts in this world... just 1 less makes a difference.
Tho I agree apologies are more for the one saying sorry.
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No, it's not about expecting people to be absolute perfect because I'm far from being perfect myself. I just want the people I allow into my life to be my brand of imperfect, or at least very similar. The thing is, I have NO problem being by myself, so of course I'm very picky about who I keep long term. I have "personal rules", honestly, so adhere or leave me alone. I'm not going to beg or endure a headache just so I could have people around me. I'm not built like that. If we clash in any way that's causing me stress, then I'm more than willing to let whatever type of relationship we had go. I don't have high levels of tolerance. But you're right, to each their own.
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by WaterCup
I mean people SHOULD know what's hurtful & what isn't. So saying, you didn't know that something was hurtful is bullshit


It no longer surprises me at what people don't know. many people just aren't raised right. I work with kids and sometimes I have to wonder what the hell is wrong with some of them. Then I meet the parents... omg, so many varying levels of stupidity to behold. The kids can learn but is it game over their parents? please lord no
People learn from making mistakes and growing from them. When someone generally lacks awareness in a situation, takes time to reflect on how their actions have affected others and apologizes with the intent to not repeat said behaviour in the future.... I can appreciate that. I'm all for reducing the number of asinine acts in this world... just 1 less makes a difference.
Tho I agree apologies are more for the one saying sorry.
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LOL! Yeah, but very few actually learn from their past mistakes imo. Or they do the same thing in a different way expecting different results. And not forgetting that most do say sorry so they could get out of the dog house, no real meaning behind the words. People are really full of shit.
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Posted by WaterCup
Apologies are hard for me to understand & I don't fully accept them either from grown people. Well unless they have mental issues, or other disorders that make them unable to think straight.. therefore cannot be held accountable for any of their actions. A sane person that does something that they know is going to be hurtful, damaging, etc & yet expect it to be forgiven by just saying how sorry they are is full of shit imho.
I don't say sorry because I'm really not... everything I say or do is deserved, AT THE TIME. So I won't turn around & fake an apology. Sorry


Surely when you say something in the heat of the moment; then cool of you might of at least wished they way things went down, had happen differently. Or when you make a mistake, or something someone else's does to you, you at least apologize to yourself or forgive yourself in order to heal and move in.
To me there are two kinds of apologies, verbal- yet the actions don't follow through, this kind is a problem.
Then action, which speaks louder then the words "I'm sorry."
In either case, if the actions are louder then the words, would you forgive or through your own actions show that you are sorry, and in so you have apologized.
If not; then that's fine. Every one has their own way of dealing with things.
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Move on*
To many auto corrects to correct....
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Posted by WaterCup
Posted by shellshocker
Posted by WaterCup
I mean people SHOULD know what's hurtful & what isn't. So saying, you didn't know that something was hurtful is bullshit


People learn from making mistakes and growing from them. When someone generally lacks awareness in a situation, takes time to reflect on how their actions have affected others and apologizes with the intent to not repeat said behaviour in the future.... I can appreciate that. I'm all for reducing the number of asinine acts in this world... just 1 less makes a difference.
Tho I agree apologies are more for the one saying sorry.


LOL! Yeah, but very few actually learn from their past mistakes imo. Or they do the same thing in a different way expecting different results. And not forgetting that most do say sorry so they could get out of the dog house, no real meaning behind the words. People are really full of shit.
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Wether an apology is heartfelt or empty.. it's still not going to get you out of the doghouse with me if the act and intent were nasty.
I really hope they mean it and can grow because one of the consequences for their mistake is I'm not dealing with them anymore. I don't hesitate to lock someone out and keep things cordial yet surface.
Honestly, most people I've come across don't even bother to apologize and they know they wrong, just like you mentioned. I've experienced much more justifying and excuse making
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Is this another one of those "Sacred Trust" type posts? lol..
I guess it comes down to recognizing a sincere apology or not. Anyone can apologize and fake sincerity. Yet the vibe I'm getting from this post is one is expected to get on the knees and lick the crack of ass to make it sincere. Life's a bitch, people are going to step on your toes, if the word's I'm sorry comes out be grateful take it and move the fuck on.
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Posted by shellshocker
Wether an apology is heartfelt or empty.. it's still not going to get you out of the doghouse with me if the act and intent were nasty.
I really hope they mean it and can grow because one of the consequences for their mistake is I'm not dealing with them anymore. I don't hesitate to lock someone out and keep things cordial yet surface.
Honestly, most people I've come across don't even bother to apologize and they know they wrong, just like you mentioned. I've experienced much more justifying and excuse making


+1 future actions by the person backs up sincerity...don't count on it though.
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Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Anyone..... maybe have one they want to make?



I see what's going on here. roflmao
If it's not the bluemoon character it's something else. Like I said, those of you who believe someone has deleted..they are not far at all.Winking
Gemcandle should be swooping in any time now....lol
This is just too predictable.
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Posted by ScorpioFish
I would apologize to the asshole trolls out there....
....But they would still be asshole trolls to the decent folks around here....
....and they would still deserve to be stuffed into a glass display case.
....So no...



lol..

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Posted by seraph
So you are incapable of feeling remorse?
Surely not. You might have meant to do what you did at the time, but that's why we have the benefit of retrospect - a second look at what we might have done.
Saying that what you did - no matter how horrible - was deserved "at the time", is really a cop-out intended to give yourself the luxury of taking a pass on any moral considerations after the fact; considerations which, by the way, often need to be made.
Having a moral compass also means being cognizant about right and wrong, and being able to genuinely acknowledge that recognition in yourself and in others. Some apologies are indeed genuine, and the ones that are, are gold, because you get to connect with someone on a level deep enough to acknowledge and respect their vulnerabilities. So apologies can do a lot of good for both the giver and receiver.


Yep...a Sacred Trust post part II. (change of characters, but same diff) Pegged it.Tongue
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Posted by scribble
Apologies that don't come with "but".


THIS ^
If there is a "but" in there, it isn't an apology.
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Posted by LetltB
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Anyone..... maybe have one they want to make?



I see what's going on here. roflmao
If it's not the bluemoon character it's something else. Like I said, those of you who believe someone has deleted..they are not far at all.Winking
Gemcandle should be swooping in any time now....lol
This is just too predictable.
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Yeah. I picked up on that (not on specific people) and I'm clueless on the actual dynamic. Sounds like an attempt to publicly call someone out for something.
Now back to my usual pot stirring behavior.
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Posted by xcake
Notice how dead it is and slowly old users coming back. That's the way it is. DXPs way of maintaining order.

DXP RELOADED


If its anything like "The Matrix" series, I'll sit this out.
Although the cool coats and sunglasses rock, I'm not one for 15-20 minutes of an orgy scene intertwined with pseudo intellectual pap.
Bring on the machines!
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Posted by seraph
No LIB, I'm not GemsRa or Elle, nor am I anyone else who's commented in this thread.
I am SO sorry.



Who said you were? Get over yourself, and shove that sorry up your sorry ass.Sad
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hmm seems you shoved that "sorry" just a wee bit too far up your ass.Sad
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This quote "often times people will say sorry for something they do repeatedly and that's just annoying"
Its these people who need a lead bullet in the head and i for one would gladly be giving it to them.
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And before you ask
Lead is the only way to kill a person or have them dead if at all
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Oh and how would I know?, you ask.
Haha, you are the expert, you tell me, Umph?
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It is like you to involve others in your twisted distortion of reality.
You think or know what it is really like?
You just the dor man who never let me back in coz you jealous, made me wait you did, and that is why I left coz i hate waiting and you knew that I hate to wait coz i must of told you back when i lived at Broadwater caravan park in NSW near Evan's Head in early 1996.
Ah-ha thought you was planning it all along you and the hood guys is that why was so stand offish coz you planned what happened next?
Right you gonna tell me oh no gal it was not me it was "..." whoever else you connoct up in your own head to get away from the responsibility of what you did.
Get fucked I dont care if you are the next big thing to come yet, all I needed was you and it was you who didnt understand this and now blame it on me. You use everyone to try and hurt me and you know what I see through this so haha to you and Goodbye! I dun need you no more you made your point and drove it home no more can be said and all's I say is Good luck with your Endeavours I wish you all the best and yeh Goodluck mate (see you on the other side) I go find me a real man. One that doesn't intentionally hurt me for what ever reason he makes up in his own head.
You just fucked yourself
-NANANANANA-
in more ways than one
look who laughing now
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Sooooo..... I guess that's a no then?
Strangely enough I had heard that this person felt great remorse for their actions, buuuuuut I guess that was just bullshit.
Apologies are still cool in my book though, especially when I still have fancy screenshots of your nasty words.
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Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Sooooo..... I guess that's a no then?
Strangely enough I had heard that this person felt great remorse for their actions, buuuuuut I guess that was just bullshit.
Apologies are still cool in my book though, especially when I still have fancy screenshots of your nasty words.



Seriously? Confused..as if those screenshots that have already been shown repeatedly here matters. Noone gives a rats ass. Get over it, it's been over two years, this crap is really old. It's the internet. But "HEY" let's get that sense of entitlement going for you.. we'll make sure the lighting is good and bright, so you can show us your screen shots that have your panties in a wad and get it overwith. Maybe it will help in the healing process of the internet trauma you've been subjected to. But then again, if it was so traumatic and "nasty", why the hell would you want to share it AGAIN in a public forum AGAIN?
We all know what this b.s is about, it's the drama and attention of it all, so here ya go, let her rip and move on. We'll call this show The Apology That Never Was..


Don't expect an applause.Sad
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..this entire thread is a window pane of glass. I see right through it as well as the person behind it, and it backfired AGAIN.
Today is definitely NOT your day.
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Posted by seraph
Remorseful is as remorseful does, GemsRa. What you're getting now is what they're capable of, unfortunately. If they cared about how their actions affected you, they would have set things aright almost immediately.
All in all, no one needs to be the instrument of justice in this individual's life. Because there's a universal justice that will catch up with them. What goes around comes right back around, and often in a big way. And who knows what form it'll take.
You'll get your justice - no doubt about that, but when you do you'll be too busy being great to take much notice. smile



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Posted by tiziani
Posted by LetltB


Maybe it will help in the healing process of the internet trauma you've been subjected to. But then again, if it was so traumatic and "nasty", why the hell would you want to share it AGAIN in a public forum AGAIN?




Hahahaha it defies logic
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Closure, maybe?
Either way-- it's riveting. Winking
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