Is there a generation gap here?
This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by truecap on Friday, January 17, 2014 and has 143 replies.
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I've noticed there seems to be quite a bit of the generation gap.
Sometimes when older users give advice to the younger users, it seems the younger users don't want to hear what is being said. The older folks have a lot more life experiences to draw on, but that wisdom isn't always respected.
Vice versa the older users don't always seem to want to take the younger user's advice because it is not what they're used to hearing or are uncomfortable with the younger generation's approach.
Or is it a different attitude between the younger and older users?
Or just a different approach to life?
Perhaps the world is a different culture (for lack of better words, not meaning ethnic culture) for each generation?
Or is each generation fixed in their ways?
Does terminology and syntax interfere with the message to each?
Just some thoughts to ponder. What are your thoughts?
Sometimes when older users give advice to the younger users, it seems the younger users don't want to hear what is being said. The older folks have a lot more life experiences to draw on, but that wisdom isn't always respected.
Vice versa the older users don't always seem to want to take the younger user's advice because it is not what they're used to hearing or are uncomfortable with the younger generation's approach.
Or is it a different attitude between the younger and older users?
Or just a different approach to life?
Perhaps the world is a different culture (for lack of better words, not meaning ethnic culture) for each generation?
Or is each generation fixed in their ways?
Does terminology and syntax interfere with the message to each?
Just some thoughts to ponder. What are your thoughts?
Do yall think the younger folks think of the older folks as old fogies? And the older folks think of the younger folks as immature?
I don't have a problem taking advice from anyone provided it is presented in a logical way.
Posted by Rabbit
I don't have a problem with taking advice from someone younger...provided its something I have no clue about.
But like I tell my 17 year old son:
There's nothing you can do, try to do, try to get away with, or lie to tell, that I haven't already tried.
Things like social media may have changed the vehicle by which poor choices are made, but the choices remain the same.
I've made those mistakes. I've lived through those mistakes. And I can see younger people making those same mistakes and the consequences of those mistakes before they even know they're on their way to making a mistake.
But I also know that when I was young I didn't want to accept advice from anyone. I knew better and I knew everything! So I don't necessarily begrudge them.
That's true. My 21 yo daughter thinks I just don't get it and my 16 yo son thinks I'm stupid. I was probably the same way at that age, too.
Posted by djbuck1
Unquestionably there is a gap.
But I don't think that the willingness to listen cuts clearly along generational lines.
Some younger members' lack of experience shows, but generally they seem willing to listen. Others don't listen. Or won't. Or are downright insulting.
But far worse are people over 30 who pretend to knowledge and experience that they clearly don't have, or who seek advice when what they want is validation to carry on in the same way that they have been.
I think this is accurate but it cuts both ways. Both younger and older members may lack experience and pretend that they know what they are talking about.
It's not only older people giving advice, younger people do it also and it still falls on deaf ears.
This site is built on "I won't listen to any other opinion than my own and I will totally lose my shit if someone else mentions something different"
This site is built on "I won't listen to any other opinion than my own and I will totally lose my shit if someone else mentions something different"
Something I have noticed and this is just an observation on my part. My generation's style of parenting was about being friends with our children(something I do not agree with)this is dangerous because the children grow up to view elders as their equal.
In turn a lack of respect is what I have been noticing, amongst this generation of young adults.
In turn a lack of respect is what I have been noticing, amongst this generation of young adults.
Posted by Damnata
It's not only older people giving advice, younger people do it also and it still falls on deaf ears.
This site is built on "I won't listen to any other opinion than my own and I will totally lose my shit if someone else mentions something different"
Then this site houses a lot of spoiled brats.
Posted by Rabbit
I'm just going to throw this out there...
This is DXP.
Any similarities to real life or real people are purely coincidental.
LOL
It's all about RESPECT.
Posted by Damnata
It's not only older people giving advice, younger people do it also and it still falls on deaf ears.
This site is built on "I won't listen to any other opinion than my own and I will totally lose my shit if someone else mentions something different"
The New subtext for DXPNET.
"I won't listen to any other opinion than my own and I will totally lose my shit if someone else mentions something different"
Good observation.
so that's how you get an empty box
Signed Up: May 21, 2013
Comments: 819 · Posts: 28237 · Topics: 174
Comments: 819 · Posts: 28237 · Topics: 174
The thing with DXP is
Some of the younger people are able to stay logical and mature
and
some of the oldest people act like lil immature assclowns
Some of the younger people are able to stay logical and mature
and
some of the oldest people act like lil immature assclowns
One thing I do notice is when someone gets advice they don't like or want to hear, it is the younger users who come back cussing and really talking disrespectfully.
Some of the older ones seem to be a little more rigid and harsh.
Some of the younger users have a really good head on their shoulders and are wise beyond their years.
Some of the older folks can be as ornery as a snake.
Some of the older ones seem to be a little more rigid and harsh.
Some of the younger users have a really good head on their shoulders and are wise beyond their years.
Some of the older folks can be as ornery as a snake.
Maybe not so much a generation gap in interaction, but a respect and presentation issue?
Posted by xcake
Respect must be earned for some people.
Maybe it's communication gap instead of generational gap.
Funny, I was writing close to the same thing the same time you posted yours. lol!
In China and many other countries they respect their elders regardless. I'm assumimg this had to do with what happened to PA earlier today?
Age doesn't matter. Says nothing about how mature or developed a person is. I have met 30 years olds that act like they are 12. I've met 60 years olds that act like they are 6.
it's who a person is.
it's who a person is.
But the " listen" part your spot on about. lol
Or maybe it's because we can't see each other. I'm sure if we were standing face to face things would be much different.
Cus I'd be able to smack your sassy ass down.
There are some very wise young people here that I always take the time to read their opinion on all threads and there are some very stupid older people who just rant and don't seem to have any real input.
I noticed the other day when I had commented on a couple of threads that another younger user had commented on that I was focused on the missing parties actions and she was focused on the OP. Our advices were completed different and she bought up that it was as if we were reading two different threads.
Some users want from their OP to hear opinions about themselves while others want to hear what we think "he/she" is thinking. So naturally they are mostly listening, reading and commenting to the people that are thinking along their lines (what they really want to talk about)
It's not a generation gap, it's a all about and what I want to hear thing.
I noticed the other day when I had commented on a couple of threads that another younger user had commented on that I was focused on the missing parties actions and she was focused on the OP. Our advices were completed different and she bought up that it was as if we were reading two different threads.
Some users want from their OP to hear opinions about themselves while others want to hear what we think "he/she" is thinking. So naturally they are mostly listening, reading and commenting to the people that are thinking along their lines (what they really want to talk about)
It's not a generation gap, it's a all about and what I want to hear thing.
Posted by DeeG
In China and many other countries they respect their elders regardless. I'm assumimg this had to do with what happened to PA earlier today?
Not really, I had been noticing before. Then, maybe that triggered me to go ahead and write about it. Thought if we all discussed it, maybe we'd all let it sink in and be nicer to each other.
One can dream, can't they? lol!
Posted by PVAFPosted by truecap
One thing I do notice is when someone gets advice they don't like or want to hear, it is the younger users who come back cussing and really talking disrespectfully.
Some of the older ones seem to be a little more rigid and harsh.
Some of the younger users have a really good head on their shoulders and are wise beyond their years.
Some of the older folks can be as ornery as a snake.
Yeah but if that older member is always getting cussed out, what does that say about that member? Every young person can't be wrong. LOL.click to expand
It's not just one who's rigid and harsh.
I don't see much of a difference between the ages. I've seen 30/40 year olds type up a thread in all chat speak, can't even bother with typing the word 'you' out, and I've seen that with 20 year olds, too. I see older members ignore advice and younger members ignore advice. When you think about it, most of the people asking for advice are new members who don't state their age, so how are you even supposed to know exactly? A good portion of them seem to have jobs, maybe have been married, etc, which makes it probable that they're between 25-50. Not very specific. The only notable difference I have found is opinions. The older members and younger members tend to have different opinions on things like how to raise children and certain rights, etc.
Posted by Rabbit
SMH
Pluto in Scorpio generation...
I always feel like I'm too opinionated. But that's the cap in me. I can't help it. 
I mean well. It comes from a good place.
I mean well. It comes from a good place.
Posted by LadyOfRebirthPosted by DeeG
In China and many other countries they respect their elders regardless. I'm assumimg this had to do with what happened to PA earlier today?
I think that approach is wrong though tbh. I come from a culture that believes the younger generation should respect the older generation regardless and some elders abuse it and try to dictate the younger generation. True I've always been respectful towards my parents and elders, it's only right. But that doesn't mean I have to agree with everything elders think or say. I'm still my own person with my own mind.click to expand
Not taking their advice and disrespecting them, are two different things.
I do read older poster's advice twice though, maybe I miss something on first reading. And I make a mental note of it if I see some interesting concept or idea I haven't approached before.
We're not talking about wisdom, we are talking about respecting your elders. When you all get older you will understand when it happens to you. Kharma is a bitch.
^^^Good Movie.
Honestly, I blame the English language for disrepect towards the older generation..lol.
In my language there's a distinct verbal form you use for someone older..it's called the politeness pronoun. You'd be shamed if you referred to someone older with "you"
In my language there's a distinct verbal form you use for someone older..it's called the politeness pronoun. You'd be shamed if you referred to someone older with "you"
Young uns today seem spoiled and entitled. That is their generation. DeeG, you are right. It's our generation that spoiled them by being their friend and not demanding as much respect as perhaps we should have.
I think the generation coming up behind them will be different, though. They're not as spoiled as parents can't afford to give them as much. As children, they've lived through 9-1-1 and seen the economic collapse and massive job layoffs. I read somewhere they are more aligned with my grandparents generation and how the cycle is starting all over again.
Of course my generation, Generation X, were considered spoiled too. We grew up during easy economic times. My generation is the instant gratification generation - microwaves, VCRs, instant credit, instant oatmeal/coffee/potatoes, etc.
I think the generation coming up behind them will be different, though. They're not as spoiled as parents can't afford to give them as much. As children, they've lived through 9-1-1 and seen the economic collapse and massive job layoffs. I read somewhere they are more aligned with my grandparents generation and how the cycle is starting all over again.
Of course my generation, Generation X, were considered spoiled too. We grew up during easy economic times. My generation is the instant gratification generation - microwaves, VCRs, instant credit, instant oatmeal/coffee/potatoes, etc.
That and these stupid parents now a days hanging out with their kids, like their BFF's, then turn around and try to discipline them after smoking a joint together.
So when they deal with elders outside the home they have no respect cus they were never taught the difference.
So when they deal with elders outside the home they have no respect cus they were never taught the difference.
That there is the truth! They drink with their kids. It's not like okay son, you can have ONE beer with dad at 16, like the old days. Some parents today are getting down right drunk and rowdy, playing beer pong with their kids. I saw that New Years Eve. The kids think they are equals and run around and do what they want. Not every parent is like this, but I see a lot of them.
Posted by truecap
Young uns today seem spoiled and entitled. That is their generation. DeeG, you are right. It's our generation that spoiled them by being their friend and not demanding as much respect as perhaps we should have.
I think the generation coming up behind them will be different, though. They're not as spoiled as parents can't afford to give them as much. As children, they've lived through 9-1-1 and seen the economic collapse and massive job layoffs. I read somewhere they are more aligned with my grandparents generation and how the cycle is starting all over again.
Of course my generation, Generation X, were considered spoiled too. We grew up during easy economic times. My generation is the instant gratification generation - microwaves, VCRs, instant credit, instant oatmeal/coffee/potatoes, etc.
Agreed. Although my parents taught me to respect and call them by their sur names Mr. and Mrs so sand so.
If I spoke to an adult the way some of these gits do on here when I was a kid, I would be toothless. They get away with it because its the internet.
Let one of them try that shit with me in real life.
Older generations thinking the younger generation is spoiled, doing things wrong, disrespectful, etc has been going on for a while. Things aren't suddenly plummeting it's just that the older generation sees things happening differently and feel things are going downhill. Being from the younger generation, I see things differently. There's differences in generations and pros and cons of both, but no generation is 'the worst' or really all that bad. My mother was raised by her grandparents who lived through the panic of 1929, with high unemployment, etc. She (my mother) was taught how they were taught. She had to follow strict rules and manners, learn to work hard, etc. But, if she were only a teenager right now, sure, she MAY not be raised as strict, but the pressures of education and the like are much worse than it was in her generation. She even admitted that she probably wouldn't be able to go through school again today because it's so much harder. Both generations learned to work hard in different ways. One was from the rules set by a guardian and the other was through the school system.
I'm not good at wording things but this current generation really isn't that bad even though my generation will one day be in the situation of thinking the younger generation is worse off as well, because it's a cycle, not a one time thing.
I'm not good at wording things but this current generation really isn't that bad even though my generation will one day be in the situation of thinking the younger generation is worse off as well, because it's a cycle, not a one time thing.
Posted by truecap
That there is the truth! They drink with their kids. It's not like okay son, you can have ONE beer with dad at 16, like the old days. Some parents today are getting down right drunk and rowdy, playing beer pong with their kids. I saw that New Years Eve. The kids think they are equals and run around and do what they want. Not every parent is like this, but I see a lot of them.
I drink but not with them.
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After sitting here and thinking about it for a minute I don't think I've ever noticed much of a generation gap here myself. Maybe because I pay attention to what is posted rather than the poster's age.
I've seen younger members come up with great insight and older ones bestow pearls of wisdom or throw childish temper tantrums. I've seen younger people reject good advice and behave crudely, and I've seen older people do the same. I've seen some of our older dxpers post some rather lowbrow sophomoric content, carry on silly pissing contests, and use unnecessarily brutal and vulgar means of expression--a complete lack of any tact or respect on their part for others, and I've seen younger ones do much of the same. And I've seen both sides attempt to hold an air of false superiority over the other.
There are younger ones I like and can't stand, and older ones that I absolutely adore or choose to ignore. It's all just people being people. Some change with age. Some never do.
And when it comes to the topic of respect I don't think that should be handed out blindly. Just because someone else's parents got down and dirty before mine doesn't make them a better person than me. If they're rude, immature, and disrespectful towards me odds are that I'm probably not going to think highly of them or care about what their supposed social status is. That may be an unfavorable stance amongst those from previous generations but I give respect where it's earned and warranted not by how many miles someone walked to and from school without shoes and uphill both ways as a child.
I've seen younger members come up with great insight and older ones bestow pearls of wisdom or throw childish temper tantrums. I've seen younger people reject good advice and behave crudely, and I've seen older people do the same. I've seen some of our older dxpers post some rather lowbrow sophomoric content, carry on silly pissing contests, and use unnecessarily brutal and vulgar means of expression--a complete lack of any tact or respect on their part for others, and I've seen younger ones do much of the same. And I've seen both sides attempt to hold an air of false superiority over the other.
There are younger ones I like and can't stand, and older ones that I absolutely adore or choose to ignore. It's all just people being people. Some change with age. Some never do.
And when it comes to the topic of respect I don't think that should be handed out blindly. Just because someone else's parents got down and dirty before mine doesn't make them a better person than me. If they're rude, immature, and disrespectful towards me odds are that I'm probably not going to think highly of them or care about what their supposed social status is. That may be an unfavorable stance amongst those from previous generations but I give respect where it's earned and warranted not by how many miles someone walked to and from school without shoes and uphill both ways as a child.
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I posted Louis CK just cause I think he's hilarious and makes some good points; not because I necessarily agree with him.
On topic though, I have no idea how old most users on here are. A lot of posters don't have their age displayed so it's hard to say whether or not it's a generation gap.
I usually just assume everyone is within 5-10 years of my age, unless I see information that says otherwise.
On topic though, I have no idea how old most users on here are. A lot of posters don't have their age displayed so it's hard to say whether or not it's a generation gap.
I usually just assume everyone is within 5-10 years of my age, unless I see information that says otherwise.
respect.. it is something earned by certain sets of values which a person carries with themselves.. not naturally comes one being just old.. or older than me .. if talking about courtesy, yes, then I would treat old people courteously even if they don't seem to know what they are talking about..and have not learnt anything from their supposed longer years (compare to those of the young) of life experiences .. I would still present my words politely and not name call or something, because some old people don't have that respectful value sets.. after all, s/he is human, I must show some courtesies towards them (and this also, has limitation of its own..like how being treated with respect has its definition and limitations .. I will treat them politely as long as they behave like fellow human beings.. if not, why would I? that is not fair.. I treat them like human, politely and they do the same.. if not, I would not cuss or anything, but just cease to interact.. because there's just no worth or point to be made there) ..showing someone respect and treating someone with politeness are different things in my book.. respect is meant to be earned, not like prerogatives which come with the old age..meanwhile courtesy still can be shown if the other person acts immature and even rude towards me..to a certain extent that is
respect is not also about something which about simply having gone through hardships one's life offers/offered.. in someway, this way or other, every one experiences hardships.. just saying 'I've gone through this and that' doesn't equal to the word respectful.. the point is.. what has one learnt from those hardships? life experiences? just experiencing something is not enough to earn the title 'respect' .. because every one is about to be able to experience..things.. be them good or bad, wise or stupid, really harsh or mildly harsh.. but the distinction lies where some learn something from experiencing stuff whilst others do not .. life gives people things to experience .. what counts here, though.. were those experiences just passive ones? just came to you and went through you and that was all? ..or were they experiences which experienced actively by a person? ..and some people can do this (experiencing actively and constructively) whether them be young or old..whilst some people can not regardless of one's biological age
so when it comes to advice.. personally, I try to discern..the difference stated above in a person who's giving me adv
respect is not also about something which about simply having gone through hardships one's life offers/offered.. in someway, this way or other, every one experiences hardships.. just saying 'I've gone through this and that' doesn't equal to the word respectful.. the point is.. what has one learnt from those hardships? life experiences? just experiencing something is not enough to earn the title 'respect' .. because every one is about to be able to experience..things.. be them good or bad, wise or stupid, really harsh or mildly harsh.. but the distinction lies where some learn something from experiencing stuff whilst others do not .. life gives people things to experience .. what counts here, though.. were those experiences just passive ones? just came to you and went through you and that was all? ..or were they experiences which experienced actively by a person? ..and some people can do this (experiencing actively and constructively) whether them be young or old..whilst some people can not regardless of one's biological age
so when it comes to advice.. personally, I try to discern..the difference stated above in a person who's giving me adv
ice, i.e., I do not take one's biological age as a yard stick there
this has helped me enable to get sound, fair and helpful advice when I seek one
personally, treating another human being with a certain amount of courtesy (which is expected reasonable in our society..regardless of one's culture that is) is another factor shown as either one has learnt something through his or her life experiences.. so, again, personally, if one person cannot treat others with courtesy at all..I tend to take that said person has certain immaturity there..one or some points lost there in the area of earned respect.. because being polite towards others is a constituent of one being respectful in my book.. (this courtesy thing is different from being submissive, a doormat, or sycophant or &. of course)
this has helped me enable to get sound, fair and helpful advice when I seek one
personally, treating another human being with a certain amount of courtesy (which is expected reasonable in our society..regardless of one's culture that is) is another factor shown as either one has learnt something through his or her life experiences.. so, again, personally, if one person cannot treat others with courtesy at all..I tend to take that said person has certain immaturity there..one or some points lost there in the area of earned respect.. because being polite towards others is a constituent of one being respectful in my book.. (this courtesy thing is different from being submissive, a doormat, or sycophant or &. of course)
lol I mixed up the words respectable & respetful.. well hope still things are understandable as I meant them to be..
regarding the generation gap..I don't know..I don't feel it too much here.. maybe it's because I'm from a culture which there's a quite stark dissociation and differentiation and distinction lie between the young and the old.. even in my mother tongue.. there are respectful and honourable terms for the old people...there's certain speaking/writing format should be expected when a young person speaks or writes to an old person.. and this external aspect shapes internal things..ideas, notions.. the language shapes, directs, or even says..that there is this rule one must follow.. when one's language dictates that whoever uses it use it in a certain way (with mine language case, showing certain kinds of courtesy towards the old regardless of whether they deserve it or not)..it certainly has some effects on said one..languages build one's conscious, unconscious, one's world and perception of said world..of course, not fully but to a certain extent (..and I have been trying to escape its influence..been thinking if that even possible? etc.)
so here, I am using this different language, english, from my first tongue..this somewhat lets me escape the world built and constructed by my mother tongue.. if not entirely, though..
so less generation gap I feel here than I do in my own culture and society.. I think there are several worlds in existence..in the realm of my perception..
well, since I don't have created a family of my own..no husband no babies..sometimes that topic makes me not fully related to..but then not only people who are older than myself are able to/or have family, babies, etc. ..but well..when it comes to parenting and such I've not really much idea lol have not gone & done there ..yet.. well, probably not in the future.. or any near future lol.. oh..I just need to sew my mouth up lol but this thread topic was interesting..
so here, I am using this different language, english, from my first tongue..this somewhat lets me escape the world built and constructed by my mother tongue.. if not entirely, though..
so less generation gap I feel here than I do in my own culture and society.. I think there are several worlds in existence..in the realm of my perception..
well, since I don't have created a family of my own..no husband no babies..sometimes that topic makes me not fully related to..but then not only people who are older than myself are able to/or have family, babies, etc. ..but well..when it comes to parenting and such I've not really much idea lol have not gone & done there ..yet.. well, probably not in the future.. or any near future lol.. oh..I just need to sew my mouth up lol but this thread topic was interesting..
As a teen I never thought my mom was stupid, she was the first person I would come to if I had any questions or problems and I still do. I wouldn't say that is common though, most youngsters think they know it all
If any of the older generation has any thing to offer of advices which they sure do as they know it all and if you listen closely to these ages of wisdom they will tell you this always
You listen to these people and do you own thing is a must
It so happens that majority of times they dont wish to part ways of old onto the new that will come away towards a new day so you stuck til they get their asses out of their heads and get on wit what they are best at which is
give their advices and expect you to understand wha they talkin about and
give of orders which they do well at but have hard time do the dishin, coz you cant do it right enough etcetc
You listen to these people and do you own thing is a must
It so happens that majority of times they dont wish to part ways of old onto the new that will come away towards a new day so you stuck til they get their asses out of their heads and get on wit what they are best at which is
give their advices and expect you to understand wha they talkin about and
give of orders which they do well at but have hard time do the dishin, coz you cant do it right enough etcetc
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