Jealousy
This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by Atcrossroads on Monday, August 14, 2017 and has 7 replies.
Maybe I am crazy, but I keep thinking of ways that my man cheats on me. I look for it. I make it up. For example, there is a mysterious light outside our back door and I automatically think it is some morse code his "mistress" uses to let him know she is there and ready.
Ugh. I am crazy, I guess. This is not the fist time I have let my imagination run away with me. I find that when I do this, I am usually feeling guilty about feeling good that another guy is attracted to me or I enjoyed the attention another man gave me that day. 1.) Should I feel guilty for that, if it makes me feel good and desirable? 2.) Am I so insecure that I let my mind wonder into THAT territory? 3.) How messed up am I? 4.) Please tell me I am not the only woman who feels THIS insecure...
Ugh. I am crazy, I guess. This is not the fist time I have let my imagination run away with me. I find that when I do this, I am usually feeling guilty about feeling good that another guy is attracted to me or I enjoyed the attention another man gave me that day. 1.) Should I feel guilty for that, if it makes me feel good and desirable? 2.) Am I so insecure that I let my mind wonder into THAT territory? 3.) How messed up am I? 4.) Please tell me I am not the only woman who feels THIS insecure...
Posted by Arielle83
You're thinking if you like it, he must like it too.
Have you thought of cheating on him?
Considering we have been together since we were 13? I have had "other" fantasies. But in the flesh? I would sooo chicken out. There is no way.
Yes. I am thinking if I like it, he must like it too. Because I do enjoy the attention of other males. I enjoy feeling desirable.But we are in our 30s now. How could I ever compete with a 20 something vibrant version of who I used to be? Who he fell in love with? I am the mother of his kids, and he doesn't look at me anymore with the same excitement he once had.
I get you. I need to look into myself. Thank you. I know this is what I need to do, and have tried. But the problem is, I can't fight getting older. I can't go back and remake it. I can't eat better and take years off of my wrinkles. I can't excercise and have perkier breasts. I can't go back and erase time, no matter how hard I try.
I just find it hard to believe that he could actually WANT to grow old with me, because he has left me before. What makes me worthy now?
It is so hard to trust promises of forever.
Posted by drunkghostPosted by Arielle83
You're thinking if you like it, he must like it too.
Have you thought of cheating on him?
yoooooooo i agree with this, it's probably cause you get off on it and start thinking he has same encounters
in the end i think it stems from not being secure in the relationship as a whole like something is off, i always felt crazy because i felt my ex was cheating on me cause he was just too clean, too cautious, and too private at times like maybe he was low key a murderer PT
but then again i always try to self sabotage when i know i want outclick to expand
That ^^
Your attitude sucks, you need to constantly work on and maintain yourself, if you can't eat healthy then start drinking shit loads of water, it will clear your skin up....wake up in the morning and shower, wash your coochie, give it a trim or take a bath in the evening and lotion up your legs and walk around feeling fresh.....
Stop relying on him to take the wheel in the relationship, no one likes to drag around a dead weight, it's ok to fall sometimes in life, we all do GET UP! Look sickening and make him eat it.
Otherwise if your imagination is running wild maybe you have experienced some sort of trauma or have PTSD.....sounds like your fight or flight response is playing up and your instincts are looking for any signs that the rug will be pulled out from under you..:
If he's cheated on you before and you're insecure about it then you have every right to be but you need to make the choice if you're going to be with him to move past it, otherwise I tell you now he will fuck others behind your back
Stop relying on him to take the wheel in the relationship, no one likes to drag around a dead weight, it's ok to fall sometimes in life, we all do GET UP! Look sickening and make him eat it.
Otherwise if your imagination is running wild maybe you have experienced some sort of trauma or have PTSD.....sounds like your fight or flight response is playing up and your instincts are looking for any signs that the rug will be pulled out from under you..:
If he's cheated on you before and you're insecure about it then you have every right to be but you need to make the choice if you're going to be with him to move past it, otherwise I tell you now he will fuck others behind your back
I understand this.
The way I see it is that by feeling happy for the attention other men are giving you you feel a lot of guilt.
The guilt could stem from knowing that if your partner heard you say your thoughts, on the attention, out loud.. you'd know it would hurt him or at least upset him enough that he'd consider leaving you again.
Also because you WANT and CRAVE the attention that he fails to give you now...
These paranoid scenarios going through your mind are a release! It helps even out your feelings of guilt.
A body is not the only thing a man finds attractive.... remember that.
So even though you're insecure with your aging body, you should feel more confident with your aging mind ?
All those things he truly fell in love with... let it come out again.
The way I see it is that by feeling happy for the attention other men are giving you you feel a lot of guilt.
The guilt could stem from knowing that if your partner heard you say your thoughts, on the attention, out loud.. you'd know it would hurt him or at least upset him enough that he'd consider leaving you again.
Also because you WANT and CRAVE the attention that he fails to give you now...
These paranoid scenarios going through your mind are a release! It helps even out your feelings of guilt.
A body is not the only thing a man finds attractive.... remember that.
So even though you're insecure with your aging body, you should feel more confident with your aging mind ?
All those things he truly fell in love with... let it come out again.
Posted by Isabeau90Thank you for this. It really makes me feel like I am not alone. Someone understands. I believe that it is because of the guilt. He says that he doesn't enjoy the attention women give him, but really? I know deep down he is just not being honest with me.
I understand this.
The way I see it is that by feeling happy for the attention other men are giving you you feel a lot of guilt.
The guilt could stem from knowing that if your partner heard you say your thoughts, on the attention, out loud.. you'd know it would hurt him or at least upset him enough that he'd consider leaving you again.
Also because you WANT and CRAVE the attention that he fails to give you now...
These paranoid scenarios going through your mind are a release! It helps even out your feelings of guilt.
A body is not the only thing a man finds attractive.... remember that.
So even though you're insecure with your aging body, you should feel more confident with your aging mind ?
All those things he truly fell in love with... let it come out again.
Anywho, thank you. I have been thinking about this for a while now, and I have tried to let go a bit. Things are looking up! It really isn't a problem with him. It's me. It is my deep seeded belief that I am not good enough. He and I have actually talked about that a lot over the past few days. HE is actually the one who pointed out that my father was always trying to change me growing up. My hair always had to have highlights and a perm. I always had to present myself as a lady or feminine mystique. (Taurus father, scorpio mother) If I didn't look just right all the time, he told me that I would never find a boy who wanted me. This is a problem within me that I have projected onto him.
So, thanks.
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