Joke topic

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by Tiamat on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 and has 8 replies.
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.

So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out loud as he typed...

P... E... N... I... S...

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: -

***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.
details
A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
>>
>>B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject
>>box and forward
>>it to friends and family and co-wo rkers.
>>
>>Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent
>>it to you, so
>>They know you participated.
>>
>>And don't go all adult - a senior manager is now known
>>far and wide as
>>Dorky Gizzardsniffer.
>>
>>The following is excerpted from a children's book,
>>Captain Underpant s
>>And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave
>>Pilkey, in which the
>>evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
>>
>>1. Use the third letter of your first name to
>>determine your new first
>>name:
>>a = snickle
>>b = doombah
>>c = goober
>>d = cheesey
>>e = crusty
>>f = greasy
>>g = dumbo
>>h = farcus
>>i = dorky
>>j = doofus
>>k = funky
>>l = boobie
>>m = sleezy
>>n = sloopy
> >o = fluffy
>>p = stinky
>>q = slimy
>>r = dorfus
>>s = snooty
>>t = tootsie
>>u = dipsy
>>v = sneezy
>>w = liver
>>x = skippy
>>y = dinky
>>z = zippy
>>
>>2. Use the second letter of your last name to
>>determine the first half
>>of your new last name:
>>a = dippin
>>b = feather
>>c = batty
>>d = burger
>>e = chicken
>>f = barffy
>>g = lizard
>>h = waffle
>>i = farkle
>>j = monkey
>>k = flippin
>>l = fricken
>>m = bubble
>>n = rhino
>>o = potty
>>p = hamster
>>q = buckle
>>r = gizzard
>>s = lickin
>>t = snickle
>>u = chuckle
>>v = pickle
>>w = hubble
>>x = dingle
>>y = gorilla
>>z = girdle
>>
> >3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine
>>the second half
>>of your new last name:
>>a = butt
>>b = boob
>>c = face
>>d = nose
>>e = hump
>>f = breath
>>g = pants
>>h = shorts
>>i = lips
>>j = honker
>>k = head
>>l = tush
>>m = chunks
>>n = dunkin
>>o = brains
>>p = biscuits
>>q = toes
>>r = doodle
>>s = fanny
>>t = sniffer
>>u = sprinkles
>>v = frack
>>w = squirt
>>x = humperdinck
>>y = hiney
>>z = juice
>>
>>Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is:
>>Fluffy Chucklefanny.
>>
>>Now when you SEND THIS ON...use your new name as the
>>subject. And
>>Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a
>>day; adults laugh an
> >average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your
>>day.

^^My new name is dumbo snikle biscuits
details
A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
>>
>>B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject
>>box and forward
>>it to friends and family and co-wo rkers.
>>
>>Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent
>>it to you, so
>>They know you participated.
>>
>>And don't go all adult - a senior manager is now known
>>far and wide as
>>Dorky Gizzardsniffer.
>>
>>The following is excerpted from a children's book,
>>Captain Underpant s
>>And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave
>>Pilkey, in which the
>>evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
>>
>>1. Use the third letter of your first name to
>>determine your new first
>>name:
>>a = snickle
>>b = doombah
>>c = goober
>>d = cheesey
>>e = crusty
>>f = greasy
>>g = dumbo
>>h = farcus
>>i = dorky
>>j = doofus
>>k = funky
>>l = boobie
>>m = sleezy
>>n = sloopy
> >o = fluffy
>>p = stinky
>>q = slimy
>>r = dorfus
>>s = snooty
>>t = tootsie
>>u = dipsy
>>v = sneezy
>>w = liver
>>x = skippy
>>y = dinky
>>z = zippy
>>
>>2. Use the second letter of your last name to
>>determine the first half
>>of your new last name:
>>a = dippin
>>b = feather
>>c = batty
>>d = burger
>>e = chicken
>>f = barffy
>>g = lizard
>>h = waffle
>>i = farkle
>>j = monkey
>>k = flippin
>>l = fricken
>>m = bubble
>>n = rhino
>>o = potty
>>p = hamster
>>q = buckle
>>r = gizzard
>>s = lickin
>>t = snickle
>>u = chuckle
>>v = pickle
>>w = hubble
>>x = dingle
>>y = gorilla
>>z = girdle
>>
> >3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine
>>the second half
>>of your new last name:
>>a = butt
>>b = boob
>>c = face
>>d = nose
>>e = hump
>>f = breath
>>g = pants
>>h = shorts
>>i = lips
>>j = honker
>>k = head
>>l = tush
>>m = chunks
>>n = dunkin
>>o = brains
>>p = biscuits
>>q = toes
>>r = doodle
>>s = fanny
>>t = sniffer
>>u = sprinkles
>>v = frack
>>w = squirt
>>x = humperdinck
>>y = hiney
>>z = juice
>>
>>Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is:
>>Fluffy Chucklefanny.
>>
>>Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a
>>day; adults laugh an
> >average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your
>>day.
details
DIVORCED BARBIE

>One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that
>it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the
>salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on the display window?"
>
>The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have: Work out Barbie for $ 19.95,
>Shopping Barbie for $ 19.95 Beach! Barbie for $ 19.95, Disco Barbie for
> $ 19.95, Divorced Barbie for $ 265.95
>
>The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $ 265.95 and the
>others only $ 19.95?"
>
>The salesperson annoyingly answers: "Sir..., "Divorced Barbie comes with:
>Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer
>and...One of Ken's Friends.
details
Subject: Very, very Sad----

>
>
>>>>VERY SAD NEWS
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in
>>>>Washington, DC this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious
>>>>reason,
>>>>they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in
>>>>the
>>>>Nation's capitol. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to
>>>>fill the stable.
>>
details
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

details
lizard's new name: dorky farklesniffer LOL
details
My new nameBig Grinumbo snickle biscuits.
details

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