Living with parents at age 32

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by firebunny on Tuesday, September 10, 2019 and has 33 replies.
Yeah, I still do. For convenience and financial purposes. I don't want to spend way too much for something I can get for free.


My dad has rules but he's Pisces = so he accepts every single reason for breaking them. LOL.


My mom doesn't have rules. Well, she's a laidback Taurus after all. I guess, after getting all she wants for me, she no longer cares (I'm already done with acctg and law degrees so). She picks the girls for me though which is kinda annoying.


But I'm still moving out some day... when I have the money to buy house and lot (not condo and not apartment either). I feel like I can optimize my life by living out as they keep on convincing me to become a judge and whom to marry and they discourage from wanting to be an urban planner and song-writer.
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I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...
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Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...
I think I can learn any way or search for it. I think money is the most important thing. And discipline and determination. Passion and inspiration always find their way. But these three things are more important.


My sister doesn't want to live out and she's 35 years old already.
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Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...


I think I can learn any way or search for it. I think money is the most important thing. And discipline and determination. Passion and inspiration always find their way. But these three things are more important.


My sister doesn't want to live out and she's 35 years old already.
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Do your parents encourage you to be indepedent of them?
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Posted by Dreamy88
Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...


It’s very normal for a lot of traditional Asian households. They usually pool the money together and grab nice houses and nice cars together. I wouldn’t mind living with my parents, but they got the taste of freedom and they don’t want any of us back lol


I worry about my dad though. He does a lot of activities considered strenuous for him because sometimes ill visit and he’ll do some physical work and I’ll see him panting. He still has the attitude to where he feels like he should lift the heavy stuff while I move the light stuff -_-


I don’t let that fly though
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Thanks Dreamy, I thought it may be a cultural thing, which sounds okay if ye all get on well, otherwise, it could be claustrophic at best lol


I hope your dad will be okay, i guess you're still a little boy to him ❤️. Does he have neighbours that could help him if needed?
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My eldest is 22 and if he is not on his way out soon (in my mind I will give him to 25) it will be forced upon him. I left home at 18.


I'm like MyStars. I feel they need to get out and live life. I was 25 when I left my country of birth to move here, as scary as life is, it has to be done at some point. At least nothing as drastic for him.


viva roomsharing/housesharing :-)
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Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...


I think I can learn any way or search for it. I think money is the most important thing. And discipline and determination. Passion and inspiration always find their way. But these three things are more important.


My sister doesn't want to live out and she's 35 years old already.


Do your parents encourage you to be indepedent of them?
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They don’t. In fact, my mum tells me I can’t make it on my own. I don’t believe that though. There are too many self-help stuff online already. One just has to devote time for it. Also, I think she’s just discouraging me from taking further studies in urban planning so that I’ll end up as a judge as she wanted.
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Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...


I think I can learn any way or search for it. I think money is the most important thing. And discipline and determination. Passion and inspiration always find their way. But these three things are more important.


My sister doesn't want to live out and she's 35 years old already.


Do your parents encourage you to be indepedent of them?


They don’t. In fact, my mum tells me I can’t make it on my own. I don’t believe that though. There are too many self-help stuff online already. One just has to devote time for it. Also, I think she’s just discouraging me from taking further studies in urban planning so that I’ll end up as a judge as she wanted.
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A judge... as she wanted? Is it what you also want though @firebunny Sad assume and hope it is Big Grin
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Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...


I think I can learn any way or search for it. I think money is the most important thing. And discipline and determination. Passion and inspiration always find their way. But these three things are more important.


My sister doesn't want to live out and she's 35 years old already.


Do your parents encourage you to be indepedent of them?


They don’t. In fact, my mum tells me I can’t make it on my own. I don’t believe that though. There are too many self-help stuff online already. One just has to devote time for it. Also, I think she’s just discouraging me from taking further studies in urban planning so that I’ll end up as a judge as she wanted.
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In fact, my mum tells me I can’t make it on my own. I don’t believe that thou


I am glad you don’t believe that. It’s a very negative thing to be told 😔
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Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...


I think I can learn any way or search for it. I think money is the most important thing. And discipline and determination. Passion and inspiration always find their way. But these three things are more important.


My sister doesn't want to live out and she's 35 years old already.


Do your parents encourage you to be indepedent of them?


They don’t. In fact, my mum tells me I can’t make it on my own. I don’t believe that though. There are too many self-help stuff online already. One just has to devote time for it. Also, I think she’s just discouraging me from taking further studies in urban planning so that I’ll end up as a judge as she wanted.


A judge... as she wanted? Is it what you also want though @firebunny Sad assume and hope it is Big Grin
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Parents hey? 😟
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^^I don’t want to be a judge but the salary’s high and there’s job security plus a lot of benefits. Then there’s prestige and even power.


It’s just that I have better love: I want to be an urban planner. I actually want to be the mayor. And every day, I think about what could be done here. But getting there entails a lot of work and sacrifices.


I think it’s easier for me to be a judge considering the circumstances though.
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Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...


I think I can learn any way or search for it. I think money is the most important thing. And discipline and determination. Passion and inspiration always find their way. But these three things are more important.


My sister doesn't want to live out and she's 35 years old already.


Do your parents encourage you to be indepedent of them?


They don’t. In fact, my mum tells me I can’t make it on my own. I don’t believe that though. There are too many self-help stuff online already. One just has to devote time for it. Also, I think she’s just discouraging me from taking further studies in urban planning so that I’ll end up as a judge as she wanted.


In fact, my mum tells me I can’t make it on my own. I don’t believe that thou


I am glad you don’t believe that. It’s a very negative thing to be told 😔
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That’s why I resented my mum for years until I realized there’s plenty of nice things by being a lawyer. My life has changed as in I can finally afford almost everything I want.
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Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...


I think I can learn any way or search for it. I think money is the most important thing. And discipline and determination. Passion and inspiration always find their way. But these three things are more important.


My sister doesn't want to live out and she's 35 years old already.


Do your parents encourage you to be indepedent of them?


They don’t. In fact, my mum tells me I can’t make it on my own. I don’t believe that though. There are too many self-help stuff online already. One just has to devote time for it. Also, I think she’s just discouraging me from taking further studies in urban planning so that I’ll end up as a judge as she wanted.


A judge... as she wanted? Is it what you also want though @firebunny Sad assume and hope it is Big Grin


Parents hey? 😟
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I know lol. I should not really speak because I am sure I have been a pushy mom sometimes myself lol
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Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by firebunny
Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd be worried if my son still lived at home at that age.....I raised him to be independant and he left home at 18. He knows he can come home whenever he wants but it's so good he is living his own llfe...


I think I can learn any way or search for it. I think money is the most important thing. And discipline and determination. Passion and inspiration always find their way. But these three things are more important.


My sister doesn't want to live out and she's 35 years old already.


Do your parents encourage you to be indepedent of them?


They don’t. In fact, my mum tells me I can’t make it on my own. I don’t believe that though. There are too many self-help stuff online already. One just has to devote time for it. Also, I think she’s just discouraging me from taking further studies in urban planning so that I’ll end up as a judge as she wanted.


A judge... as she wanted? Is it what you also want though @firebunny Sad assume and hope it is Big Grin


Parents hey? 😟


I know lol. I should not really speak because I am sure I have been a pushy mom sometimes myself lol
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Fine line encouragement >>> pushy


Tongue
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Adding on to what @dreamy88 posted. There is the other cultural side, at least what I noticed with Vietnamese, that the woman goes to live with the husband's family. This is because she is expected to take care of her in laws. Cooking and cleaning for them. There is actually a traditional ceremony where the wife's family essentially gives the bride over to the groom's family. And the bride is to look at the groom's mom as her true mother from then.


Living in the same home is common place for Asians. We are taught that we as children should provide for our parents and take care of them. Whether that be the women or men. I know plenty of my Asian female friends that live at home with their parents and pay the mortgage and bills for the household when it is all female children as well. It is usually the eldest, and often the others that bare this burden. And they are even expected to help the youngest. As it is thought that if they provide financial support they can become educated and become the financial breadwinners of the family. Thus bringing the family prestige and social standing. The elders usually sacrifice their own education to just work to accomplish this. Hell my bestfriend does this, and essentially provides free housing for her 31 year old youngest sister.
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If you can afford to live on your own, get the F out of their house, Buns
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Posted by Phantom_Dangus
Posted by nikkistar

Adding on to what @dreamy88 posted. There is the other cultural side, at least what I noticed with Vietnamese, that the woman goes to live with the husband's family. This is because she is expected to take care of her in laws. Cooking and cleaning for them. There is actually a traditional ceremony where the wife's family essentially gives the bride over to the groom's family. And the bride is to look at the groom's mom as her true mother from then.


Living in the same home is common place for Asians. We are taught that we as children should provide for our parents and take care of them. Whether that be the women or men. I know plenty of my Asian female friends that live at home with their parents and pay the mortgage and bills for the household when it is all female children as well. It is usually the eldest, and often the others that bare this burden. And they are even expected to help the youngest. As it is thought that if they provide financial support they can become educated and become the financial breadwinners of the family. Thus bringing the family prestige and social standing. The elders usually sacrifice their own education to just work to accomplish this. Hell my bestfriend does this, and essentially provides free housing for her 31 year old youngest sister.


Do you think people have a tendency to stay childlike when they do this? I don't want to make that assumption, but when I think of how much maturing I was forced to go through when I moved out on my own...I'm not sure how I would have grown up without moving out.


What will happen to traditional families if their kids stop getting married and having their own kids?
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For the youngest, I find most of them have no real concept of responsibility. While the oldest is told to work and severely disciplined, the youngest is coddled. It's really like polar opposites in the same home.


For instance the oldest is usually working at the youngest age possible, and pushed to financially support everyone. Teaching them responsibility very young. So they grow up fast. But the youngest are taken care of until well into their adult years and there is almost a naivete about money and the concept of paying bills because they never had to.
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My brother in law still lives with their mom at almost 32 and I think it’s ridiculous


She does his laundry, cooks meals for him, packs his suitcase when he travels.


She’s handicapping him.


She says what she wants most for him is to meet someone and start a family like his siblings...well newsflash...nobody wants to date a 32 year old who lives with their mom and can hardly wipe their own ass!!
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Posted by Phantom_Dangus
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by Phantom_Dangus
Posted by nikkistar

Adding on to what @dreamy88 posted. There is the other cultural side, at least what I noticed with Vietnamese, that the woman goes to live with the husband's family. This is because she is expected to take care of her in laws. Cooking and cleaning for them. There is actually a traditional ceremony where the wife's family essentially gives the bride over to the groom's family. And the bride is to look at the groom's mom as her true mother from then.


Living in the same home is common place for Asians. We are taught that we as children should provide for our parents and take care of them. Whether that be the women or men. I know plenty of my Asian female friends that live at home with their parents and pay the mortgage and bills for the household when it is all female children as well. It is usually the eldest, and often the others that bare this burden. And they are even expected to help the youngest. As it is thought that if they provide financial support they can become educated and become the financial breadwinners of the family. Thus bringing the family prestige and social standing. The elders usually sacrifice their own education to just work to accomplish this. Hell my bestfriend does this, and essentially provides free housing for her 31 year old youngest sister.


Do you think people have a tendency to stay childlike when they do this? I don't want to make that assumption, but when I think of how much maturing I was forced to go through when I moved out on my own...I'm not sure how I would have grown up without moving out.


What will happen to traditional families if their kids stop getting married and having their own kids?


For the youngest, I find most of them have no real concept of responsibility. While the oldest is told to work and severely disciplined, the youngest is coddled. It's really like polar opposites in the same home.


For instance the oldest is usually working at the youngest age possible, and pushed to financially support everyone. Teaching them responsibility very young. So they grow up fast. But the youngest are taken care of until well into their adult years and there is almost a naivete about money and the concept of paying bills because they never had to.


That's really interesting.


The idea of being stuck living in the same house with generations of my relatives gives me hives, but I do think insisting on so much self-reliance is kind of silly. Now we have to contend with loneliness more than traditional cultures do.


My grandmother the Gemini sun/Scorpio moon wanted all of us in the same house. She mentioned it more than once. Let's buy a big house and all live in it. She was talking about her three kids and their families. lol!
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Lol.


From what my mom tells me of Vietnam, she said in the countryside, that it is common for entire villages being entirely made up of family members. Hahaha
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my brother lives in my mom's house and by the looks of it, probably gonna stay there forever (he is a cancer moon).


i have a home by the capital and there's another in a more rural area (2 hour drive from the capital).


and i think my mom PREFERS that he stay with her. he's got a family of his own but he just wants to remain a kid and mom just ENABLES him. sometimes i go there, sometimes i go to my grandma's house, sometimes i stay here by the capital (depends on my forever changing mood) but mostly what i've noticed is that they RATHER have you around than not. in fact, i think some parents are just plain possessive, clingy and lonely. and maybe sometimes they have nightmares about slipping and hitting their head on the side of the tub or something.
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Posted by peachy06

And what about it ?


My aunt stayed with her parents until her forties because they were ill and needed a lot of care and I still think it was kinda brave from her. People should stick to their family more, because one day, they won't be there anymore. There's no shame about it OP, you do you.

that's where I'm at in my life I had to move back in. I'm the youngest of 3 and I'm almost 37 soon. Ones dead and the other just got out of prison. So I'm the only one she has to take care of her and shes old asf.
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That seems weird to me. But I know its a culture thing.


I was supporting myself at 18 and living on my own. Working while going to school. Yes it was hard, but I'd do it all the same if I could have a do over.


Cause the struggle taught me DRIVE. Motivation. Passion. Go getter energy.


I have a friend whose parents paid for everything. She didn't even live in the dorms in college, they paid for a fancy apartment for her. Silver spoon.

But now? She is working a dead end job making shit money and has just accepted it although I am constantly telling her she could do better. I imagine its because everything has been handed to her, so all she knows how to do is sit back and wait for things to be given. But the real world doesn't work that way.


Anyways, save your monies and buy your property and move tf out. Hopefully before your 40.
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On a side note. Many of my clients are building ADU structures on their properties.

They tell me that its for their mother/mother in law or the live in nanny. But once the kids are grown they'll move the oldest out there to have their own space. Because they know how LA has changed and how impossible it is to afford anything for the younger generations.
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How you ever tried living alone? I'm 29 and back home with my parents, but the time I was on my own was amazing. It finally felt like I was a self-sufficient independent individual. After a bad breakup I was pretty much forced back home due to financial reasons. Living with my parents is fine and comfortable, and they don't mind me there one bit. It's just living on my own made work and saving money feel worth it. Before I would just spend all my money and live comfortably with little to no responsibilities. Moving out did help me in a ton of ways too. Once I had to come back to my parents I no loner spend my money on worthless stuff. Now I save every little bit except what I need to get to and from work. I want to save until I can just buy a house of my own. Being independent was one of the best feelings ever, and honestly made me feel less depressed. Like I mentioned it made me feel like the things I was doing had actual meaning, and being somewhat uncomfortable because things were a bit harder kept me out of my head and more focused on providing for my ex, her kid, and myself. The second I have enough I'll be back in that mindset. Also with a new mindset of how to manage and save money.
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Posted by Black-Mamba
Posted by LadyNeptune

On a side note. Many of my clients are building ADU structures on their properties.

They tell me that its for their mother/mother in law or the live in nanny. But once the kids are grown they'll move the oldest out there to have their own space. Because they know how LA has changed and how impossible it is to afford anything for the younger generations.


Ppl in my parents neighborhood lament how their kids can't afford anything anymore, they live nice posh lives, but they are normal people, like teachers and shit, now the only people who can afford to live there are professors, doctors and athletes
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Its the story of every metropolis.

And I'd say 9 outta 10 clients couldn't afford the houses they live in if they had to buy today. This is coming from them.

They are pulling from the insane equity built over the years to remodel, add on, or rebuild from scratch a property they may have spent 200-600k for 15+ years ago that is now worth 2-3mill (pre-renovations).


I have a client rebuild from the fires where they are solely relying on the insurance payout to rebuild down to the last cent. Its seems cray cray as the property is worth close to 6mill. But they are in their 60s/70s on a fixed income and purchased the land and built the property for under 600k 30+ years ago. So they literally have zero money to play with, just what the insurance is giving them. Wild.
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Posted by Black-Mamba
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Black-Mamba
Posted by LadyNeptune

On a side note. Many of my clients are building ADU structures on their properties.

They tell me that its for their mother/mother in law or the live in nanny. But once the kids are grown they'll move the oldest out there to have their own space. Because they know how LA has changed and how impossible it is to afford anything for the younger generations.


Ppl in my parents neighborhood lament how their kids can't afford anything anymore, they live nice posh lives, but they are normal people, like teachers and shit, now the only people who can afford to live there are professors, doctors and athletes


Its the story of every metropolis.

And I'd say 9 outta 10 clients couldn't afford the houses they live in if they had to buy today. This is coming from them.

They are pulling from the insane equity built over the years to remodel, add on, or rebuild from scratch a property they may have spent 200-600k for 15+ years ago that is now worth 2-3mill (pre-renovations).


I have a client rebuild from the fires where they are solely relying on the insurance payout to rebuild down to the last cent. Its seems cray cray as the property is worth close to 6mill. But they are in their 60s/70s on a fixed income and purchased the land and built the property for under 600k 30+ years ago. So they literally have zero money to play with, just what the insurance is giving them. Wild.


yep most people living that good life on equity


they were just born and made good decisions at the right time
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Its not even about 'good decisions' really.

Its about the culture. Its what you did back then. Get a degree, get a wife (without a prenup), buy a house, have kids.


I've mentioned it before on here, but I'm making 30% more than my dad did at my age (factoring in inflation) and he could afford a home in a semi-decent neighborhood, a stay at home wife, and 2 kids. So it really is a different world now.


Those that claim to have survived on minimum wage in the 80s-90s...you don't even know. Cost of living has quadrupled (at least doubled) since then and minimum wage has gone up...what...a few bucks?
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I love a good piggyback thread.
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Posted by Timon

No desire to be independent? Do you ever bring girls over?
The girls I date are disapproved by mum
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Posted by Soul

How you ever tried living alone? I'm 29 and back home with my parents, but the time I was on my own was amazing. It finally felt like I was a self-sufficient independent individual. After a bad breakup I was pretty much forced back home due to financial reasons. Living with my parents is fine and comfortable, and they don't mind me there one bit. It's just living on my own made work and saving money feel worth it. Before I would just spend all my money and live comfortably with little to no responsibilities. Moving out did help me in a ton of ways too. Once I had to come back to my parents I no loner spend my money on worthless stuff. Now I save every little bit except what I need to get to and from work. I want to save until I can just buy a house of my own. Being independent was one of the best feelings ever, and honestly made me feel less depressed. Like I mentioned it made me feel like the things I was doing had actual meaning, and being somewhat uncomfortable because things were a bit harder kept me out of my head and more focused on providing for my ex, her kid, and myself. The second I have enough I'll be back in that mindset. Also with a new mindset of how to manage and save money.
Yes, I've tried living alone and, I agree, it's fulfilling. I noticed though that my life style then was not healthy. I'm going to learn how to have that healthy life style that we practice at home...
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Posted by firebunny

^^I don’t want to be a judge but the salary’s high and there’s job security plus a lot of benefits. Then there’s prestige and even power.


It’s just that I have better love: I want to be an urban planner. I actually want to be the mayor. And every day, I think about what could be done here. But getting there entails a lot of work and sacrifices.


I think it’s easier for me to be a judge considering the circumstances though.
Urban planner eh? Is this a Virgo sun/Leo moon thing?


My asshole of an uncle is your astro twin, studied for his law degree (which was made possible through the hard work of my late Taurus grandmother).


He got his degree but went back to school at 40 to study urban planning and design. He now works as an urban planner for a town council in London.
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Posted by Dreamy88
Posted by nikkistar

Adding on to what @dreamy88 posted. There is the other cultural side, at least what I noticed with Vietnamese, that the woman goes to live with the husband's family. This is because she is expected to take care of her in laws. Cooking and cleaning for them. There is actually a traditional ceremony where the wife's family essentially gives the bride over to the groom's family. And the bride is to look at the groom's mom as her true mother from then.


Living in the same home is common place for Asians. We are taught that we as children should provide for our parents and take care of them. Whether that be the women or men. I know plenty of my Asian female friends that live at home with their parents and pay the mortgage and bills for the household when it is all female children as well. It is usually the eldest, and often the others that bare this burden. And they are even expected to help the youngest. As it is thought that if they provide financial support they can become educated and become the financial breadwinners of the family. Thus bringing the family prestige and social standing. The elders usually sacrifice their own education to just work to accomplish this. Hell my bestfriend does this, and essentially provides free housing for her 31 year old youngest sister.


I wanted to type some of this but I thought I already wrote too much lol


It’s pretty much the same with Lao, Cambodian, and Hmong people. Idk about Mien people though, but most likely too.
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It's the same for most Asian cultures, even those of mixed Asian/European heritage.


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Posted by Ram416
Posted by firebunny

^^I don’t want to be a judge but the salary’s high and there’s job security plus a lot of benefits. Then there’s prestige and even power.


It’s just that I have better love: I want to be an urban planner. I actually want to be the mayor. And every day, I think about what could be done here. But getting there entails a lot of work and sacrifices.


I think it’s easier for me to be a judge considering the circumstances though.


Urban planner eh? Is this a Virgo sun/Leo moon thing?


My asshole of an uncle is your astro twin, studied for his law degree (which was made possible through the hard work of my late Taurus grandmother).


He got his degree but went back to school at 40 to study urban planning and design. He now works as an urban planner for a town council in London.
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Really??? Can you give me his contacts? Thank you!
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I stayed living with my parents until 27. Great money saver. I’m 30 now. But honestly independence feels better and also makes u look better to bumble and tinder dates. Just saying.
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