Orgasms are a selfish experience

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by aquapiscescusp on Thursday, May 1, 2014 and has 46 replies.
Simultaneous orgasms a myth
75% of men always have orgasms during sex, but only 30% of women do
True or not
(Rabbit's thread made me think of this)
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I wouldn't call orgasms in and of themselves "selfish", but orgasm addiction is.
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what about the simultaneous orgasms? are people having those?
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
what about the simultaneous orgasms? are people having those?


It happened once in my whole sexual history. One hit wonder in my experience. I wish it happened more often though because I'm the type that loses interest once I get my own needs met...I want them to get off me. Continuing sex after an orgasm is annoying imo. What's myth is multiple orgasms. I've never had those. Don't think I want them either since I shut off after the initial one. One needs a moment to breathe, yanno.
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Posted by WaterCup
Posted by aquapiscescusp
what about the simultaneous orgasms? are people having those?


It happened once in my whole sexual history. One hit wonder in my experience. I wish it happened more often though because I'm the type that loses interest once I get my own needs met...I want them to get off me. Continuing sex after an orgasm is annoying imo. What's myth is multiple orgasms. I've never had those. Don't think I want them either since I shut off after the initial one. One needs a moment to breathe, yanno.
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At least you see the problem with your logic haha. Multi orgams aren't a myth, you just turn off after the first. It's takes continued action to have continued orgams.
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
what about the simultaneous orgasms? are people having those?


Yes... a spiritual moment.
#biteyoass
#eatyoasup
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Posted by Rabbit
I think I've actually had a multiple orgasm before...


Pooping while drinking whisky and making someone cry does not count.
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Posted by LibraSid
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by aquapiscescusp
what about the simultaneous orgasms? are people having those?


It happened once in my whole sexual history. One hit wonder in my experience. I wish it happened more often though because I'm the type that loses interest once I get my own needs met...I want them to get off me. Continuing sex after an orgasm is annoying imo. What's myth is multiple orgasms. I've never had those. Don't think I want them either since I shut off after the initial one. One needs a moment to breathe, yanno.


At least you see the problem with your logic haha. Multi orgams aren't a myth, you just turn off after the first. It's takes continued action to have continued orgams.
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I don't want to be too graphic but the vagina gets sensitive after orgasm & not in a good way. Hence I mentioned the annoyance. I've tried it because I also wanted to experience the hype for myself, but it didn't work out because I still felt tender. Mine taps out lol. It knows when to take a break.
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A real gentleman always waits you in Big Grin
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Posted by Rabbit
Those are the best.



yess they are Winking
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oh and what about that G-Spot orgasm?
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Posted by enfant_terrible
A real gentleman always waits you in Big Grin




nice
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Well from what I read online, women can have a lot of them. You gotta be relaxed & comfortable. Do what you did to get the 1st orgasm. Its all in the mind really. So just focus on how good the sensations feel. I wouldn't stress over it if I was you
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If the reason you are engaging in sex is because YOU are horny .... then the end result is self-serving. If your motivation is to be satisfied, then, that is selfish.
Even if you gave the other person 10 orgasms ... still, your motivation was self serving.
If the reason you are engaging in sex is because you are using it as a tool for emotional entrapment (which defines 99% of single women's motivation for sex) .... then any part of this engagement is selfish, whether orgasm was reached or not.
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
75% of men always have orgasms during sex, but only 30% of women do




for men, that statistic is probably more realistically around 98% .....
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Posted by DonAmanMarat
Its all in the fingers, people. Need good finger game to get most chicks off...(Flick the bean til she screams)


I have to disagree...
It's not just fingers.
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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by aquapiscescusp
75% of men always have orgasms during sex, but only 30% of women do




for men, that statistic is probably more realistically around 98% .....
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that's pretty high... so if that's true, then it makes sense that it's selfish from a guy's point of view given the fact that only 30% or women have them
gets me thinking, are women not having them because they can't or they just aren't comfortable?
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Posted by Infinite8
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Simultaneous orgasms a myth
75% of men always have orgasms during sex, but only 30% of women do
True or not
(Rabbit's thread made me think of this)



Hi aquapiscescusp,
Hmm... I'm sorry but I will have to disagree with this theory. I've always had my orgasm(s). Simultaneous orgasm is very common for me. When you are really emotionally connected to your partner(and he to you), your bodies are more in sync that way.
Also... I see the signs of selfishness in men WAY before the act of sex. So, I've never put myself in a situation where I didn't want to be. And communicating my needs are not an issue.
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That is so key, emotionally connected smile
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Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Any women here take a numerous amount of time to orgasm? Can you pinpoint why that is?
Serious question.


Yes.
Due to my own sexuality it's largely dependent on the who or how at the time. If I were to contribute a sort of *Reader's Digest* version without going full TMI, I would say that with women it's partly because of a lack of mental focus (or perhaps too much dependent on how one sees the situation) on the orgasm object. I spend most of my time concentrating on my partner and their pleasure. And it's also partly because of sexual development experienced earlier in life and how orgasm was learned.
With males, there's also an element of performance anxiety as is seen with females. Mostly it comes down to the experience being too... phallic orientated for my own needs. There are physiologic elements involved which puts dual satisfaction at odds.
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Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Any women here take a numerous amount of time to orgasm? Can you pinpoint why that is?
Serious question.




What's an enormous amount of time?
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Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Any women here take a numerous amount of time to orgasm? Can you pinpoint why that is?
Serious question.



I've never orgasmed from intercourse. Idk why.. I don't really concentrate on that aspect of the encounter.
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Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Any women here take a numerous amount of time to orgasm? Can you pinpoint why that is?
Serious question.




What's an enormous amount of time?


I would say anything past an hour or an hour and a half without orgasming in between. I aint saying it's completely wrong, but every time I think about fucking you, I gotta wait 3 hours to bust my 1st nut??? Da fUQ??? Like maybe two or three times a week or something, but not every mother fucking day! That's just cruel!Laughing

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Puahahaha

Aww no something's not right haha
At about the half hour mark, if I feel there won't be an orgasm in sight -- for whatever reason, it's acting time haha
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Seriously though, it's not that easy for a woman to have an orgasm if she can't relax or if she feels she has to reach one. Thing is, women who masturbate themselves to an orgasm usually-- should probably masturbate during their love session if all else fails.
Scared
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Seriously though, it's not that easy for a woman to have an orgasm if she can't relax or if she feels she has to reach one.


+1
Pressure to orgasm is the biggest buzz kill there is.
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Posted by TMV
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Seriously though, it's not that easy for a woman to have an orgasm if she can't relax or if she feels she has to reach one.


+1
Pressure to orgasm is the biggest buzz kill there is.
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You know it... Some guys focus on this too much. Did you come? Are you there yet? Fk I was --until you said that Big Grin
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Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Any women here take a numerous amount of time to orgasm? Can you pinpoint why that is?
Serious question.



I've never orgasmed from intercourse. Idk why.. I don't really concentrate on that aspect of the encounter.


Whahhh? See, I be talking about your type. How about oral stimulation? Does that do anything? And why don't you concentrate on that aspect? Just curious, no pressure.
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Props are welcome.
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Seriously though, it's not that easy for a woman to have an orgasm if she can't relax or if she feels she has to reach one. Thing is, women who masturbate themselves to an orgasm usually-- should probably masturbate during their love session if all else fails.


+1
You're having sex with one person who knows you the best (which is yourself, lol) plus you're getting nailed at the same time. All areas covered. Since penetration alone is usually not enough for most women, no matter how lost in the moment she is - and since I can't very well be eating you out and fucking you at the same time - flicking the bean while I'm huffing and puffing on top of you should be a no-brainer. =)

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Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
But pressure to orgasm is not what talking about.
Idk, it could be anything really. I just never looked at orgasming as a math equation.
I guess it really is just hard for some people to catch one. *Shruggs*


It's important to remember that sexual function and how orgasm is achieved is fundamentally different between the genders (obvs). Sometimes it's a matter of being able to let go and experience and physical sensations over the mental processes or anxieties. Sometimes it's a lack of adequate physical stimulation for a particular individual's anatomy. And, as previously mentioned, pressure to perform in a certain way can detract from pleasure.
People are constantly bombarded with images or ideas about what someone else thinks sex *should* be. This can be positions, certain aesthetic presentations, methodologies, reactions, etc. A significant portion of people become afflicted with the idea that sex can only be fulfilling if orgasm is the goal/end result. More importantly, is the sad message that if someone doesn't achieve orgasm on at least a regular basis then something is somehow wrong with them, or that they're wrong for not wanting it the way someone else does.
I can't claim to have any clue what sexual experience is like on the male side of life but for women, it's not always a simple process. And for those ladies who are fortunate enough to not go through such troubles I say congratulations and enjoy.
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Cause heaven forbid anyone just enjoy the experience or sensations or connection.. Smh.
Winking
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Posted by PotHeadVirgo24

So then what's the point? I'm one of those people obviously, I think. As a woman, is bumping skins
the only act that matters to you? No destination? Just keep driving and driving and driving until nowhere?
Laughing +1 on the not being a simple process.


Lol
If orgasm was the only point to sex I would never need another person because God knows I can do that by myself--better and faster than anyone else will ever be able. Tongue
Just because a woman doesn't O doesn't mean that she doesn't or can't enjoy sex. It can still be pleasurable and fulfilling. Sex can also be a form of play or bonding with a partner. Personally, I probably get the most out of just feeling close to a lover that way.
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Talking to your girl, making her feel beautiful, sexy and so on... It all happens in the brain for women Winking
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Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Talking to your girl, making her feel beautiful, sexy and so on... It all happens in the brain for women Winking


I thought that was just to get her wet and ready for whats to come.
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You never heard of women having an orgasm just through talk?
It's possible...
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what is going on in the sky that there's all this sex talk right now?
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Talking to your girl, making her feel beautiful, sexy and so on... It all happens in the brain for women Winking


I thought that was just to get her wet and ready for whats to come.



You never heard of women having an orgasm just through talk?
It's possible...
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yep
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Posted by CreepyPants
what is going on in the sky that there's all this sex talk right now?


Strange indeed.
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Posted by TMV
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Seriously though, it's not that easy for a woman to have an orgasm if she can't relax or if she feels she has to reach one.


+1
Pressure to orgasm is the biggest buzz kill there is.
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definitely. i think for most guys, getting their girl off is a thing of pride and ego. without meaning to be a buzzkill??_ they put a lot of pressure on their chick (who likely has a difficult time with it) to orgasm as they themselves are putting forth a lot of effort.
for most chicks??_ ya you really have to let go of the stage fright. and definitely get your hand in there in the action. whatever feels good??_ just get yourself off. we all know how to do it.
use a toy. why not?
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Posted by DonAmanMarat
Posted by CreepyPants
what is going on in the sky that there's all this sex talk right now?

Nothing special...just another Beltane.
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aaahaaaa??_ twitterpated. so we're all just horny.
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
oh and what about that G-Spot orgasm?


not a myth. but takes some more effort than the clitoral orgasm.
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Posted by CreepyPants
i think for most guys, getting their girl off is a thing of pride and ego.


Maybe.
For me, its a turn on and a pleasure.
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Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Posted by CreepyPants
i think for most guys, getting their girl off is a thing of pride and ego.


Maybe.
For me, its a turn on and a pleasure.

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well yea hopefully it's that first and foremost
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Posted by arietteheart2
While I'm in here with this sex talk. Do any women have orgasms from having their cervix stimulated?


Could be the "A" spot. Similar to the "G" spot but it resides closer to the cervix. When stimulated it's known to produce extra lubricant, theoretically to prevent tearing of the vaginal canal by a larger penis or rough sexual conduct, but it may also double as a pleasure center.
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Posted by TMV
Posted by arietteheart2
While I'm in here with this sex talk. Do any women have orgasms from having their cervix stimulated?


Could be the "A" spot. Similar to the "G" spot but it resides closer to the cervix. When stimulated it's known to produce extra lubricant, theoretically to prevent tearing of the vaginal canal by a larger penis or rough sexual conduct, but it may also double as a pleasure center.
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Learning something new smile
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If you probe long enough, there a whole alphabet going on with a vagina.
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Posted by aquapiscescusp

that's pretty high... so if that's true, then it makes sense that it's selfish from a guy's point of view given the fact that only 30% or women have them
BR>


Is it selfish or nature?
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..nature meaning the males natural testosterone level that some women think they can compete with..
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Posted by LetltB
..nature meaning the males natural testosterone level that some women think they can compete with..



Good point -- are women really supposed to have orgasms?
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