Separated

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by Ssuperman on Saturday, December 10, 2016 and has 47 replies.
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Is a court date set?

Everyone has to wait for that, but if you still

haven't even filed then you're just... married.

Right off the bat is my suggestion.

Thats what I did-- to do otherwise would make

me think you were hiding it (shady).


Posted by Bratiki
Oh and if she really has a thing for you she will understand why you didn't tell her on the first date that your in the process of divorcing

Best of luck to you supermansmile
Oh hellz naw! My divorce been done!

This happened to a buddy of mine. She waited 5 dated to tell him. He walked because it's like she was too scared/weak to tell him something important. I can't blame him for walking. I think I'd be out myself
I would tell them before the date that I'm separated pending the finalization of my divorce. No need to waste time or energy... their's or mine, should it be a "dealbreaker." Of course, this from a woman's perspective, and that as the person being pursued.
Posted by Montgomery
Is a court date set?

Everyone has to wait for that, but if you still

haven't even filed then you're just... married.

Right off the bat is my suggestion.

Thats what I did-- to do otherwise would make

me think you were hiding it (shady).


Exactly. Yea, she has a court date set.
Posted by Bratiki
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Bratiki
Oh and if she really has a thing for you she will understand why you didn't tell her on the first date that your in the process of divorcing

Best of luck to you supermansmile
Oh hellz naw! My divorce been done!

This happened to a buddy of mine. She waited 5 dated to tell him. He walked because it's like she was too scared/weak to tell him something important. I can't blame him for walking. I think I'd be out myself
Same circumstances?
click to expand
No. nothing like that happened to me
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Awwww! Ssupes!

It's hard for me to say what I would do in that situation, but I suppose I would feel things out the first couple of dates to gauge if I'm even interested in the person. If not, then I didn't waste mental and emotional energy sharing my life story. If so, then having that "tell me something about yourself that you haven't shared yet" conversation will be more interesting because I may care a little about the end reaction.
Posted by Bratiki
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Bratiki
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by Bratiki
Oh and if she really has a thing for you she will understand why you didn't tell her on the first date that your in the process of divorcing

Best of luck to you supermansmile
Oh hellz naw! My divorce been done!

This happened to a buddy of mine. She waited 5 dated to tell him. He walked because it's like she was too scared/weak to tell him something important. I can't blame him for walking. I think I'd be out myself
Same circumstances?
No. nothing like that happened to me
No i meant the story that you mentioned with your friend, were the circumstances the same as yours?
click to expand
I just said that didn't happen to me

Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Awwww! Ssupes!

It's hard for me to say what I would do in that situation, but I suppose I would feel things out the first couple of dates to gauge if I'm even interested in the person. If not, then I didn't waste mental and emotional energy sharing my life story. If so, then having that "tell me something about yourself that you haven't shared yet" conversation will be more interesting because I may care a little about the end reaction.
click to expand
Isn't that kinda selfish though? What's if that's a deal breaker for him? Now this dude is investing time and energy and money into someone he's not gonna want
better not date at all until you're really divorced. That's what I did.

It's not like you can't wait a bit and use that time to take care of yourself, hit the gym and shit like that.

1-you could ruin a good potential date when she learns you're still married

2-your spouse could use it to make you problems on the legal side.
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Awwww! Ssupes!

It's hard for me to say what I would do in that situation, but I suppose I would feel things out the first couple of dates to gauge if I'm even interested in the person. If not, then I didn't waste mental and emotional energy sharing my life story. If so, then having that "tell me something about yourself that you haven't shared yet" conversation will be more interesting because I may care a little about the end reaction.
Isn't that kinda selfish though? What's if that's a deal breaker for him? Now this dude is investing time and energy and money into someone he's not gonna want
click to expand
I don't think it is. The investment goes both ways. I'm not saying to wait months later, but dumping all my baggage on a man during our first date is hardly fair to him. Lay some ground before you attempt to build the base and all that.

Everyone's pacing is different, so you will have to gauge how she responds to you, what she talks about, the level of things she chooses to share about herself, etc.
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Awwww! Ssupes!

It's hard for me to say what I would do in that situation, but I suppose I would feel things out the first couple of dates to gauge if I'm even interested in the person. If not, then I didn't waste mental and emotional energy sharing my life story. If so, then having that "tell me something about yourself that you haven't shared yet" conversation will be more interesting because I may care a little about the end reaction.
Isn't that kinda selfish though? What's if that's a deal breaker for him? Now this dude is investing time and energy and money into someone he's not gonna want
I don't think it is. The investment goes both ways. I'm not saying to wait months later, but dumping all my baggage on a man during our first date is hardly fair to him. Lay some ground before you attempt to build the base and all that.

Everyone's pacing is different, so you will have to gauge how she responds to you, what she talks about, the level of things she chooses to share about herself, etc.
click to expand
That's kind of something I ask within 10 mins of knowing you. I ain't trying to get a cap busted in my ginger ass
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Unless you propose to her at the moment...just see how it goes.

If she is a history next day why bother pouring your personal stuff out?

People date for a while right?

So when you feeling something special - tell! If not - why make it complicated?

She could be married herself but is she telling you! I don't think so.
Not on the first date, no.

First date should be focused on finding out as much as possible about the other person so you can determine if you want to go for the second date.

When you ask them out for the second date lay out your cards on the table. Transparency is sexy.
I wouldn't even mention it. Never volunteer information. When on a date with someone, I don't interrogate them about their past relationships. So your friend could tell his new date about his divorce when it's finalized.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Not on the first date, no.

First date should be focused on finding out as much as possible about the other person so you can determine if you want to go for the second date.

When you ask them out for the second date lay out your cards on the table. Transparency is sexy.
Finding out as much as possible, right? I think telling someone you're still technically married is like THE most important thing to know.
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LadyNeptune
Not on the first date, no.

First date should be focused on finding out as much as possible about the other person so you can determine if you want to go for the second date.

When you ask them out for the second date lay out your cards on the table. Transparency is sexy.
Finding out as much as possible, right? I think telling someone you're still technically married is like THE most important thing to know.
click to expand
Not if its the first and last date!
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Awwww! Ssupes!

It's hard for me to say what I would do in that situation, but I suppose I would feel things out the first couple of dates to gauge if I'm even interested in the person. If not, then I didn't waste mental and emotional energy sharing my life story. If so, then having that "tell me something about yourself that you haven't shared yet" conversation will be more interesting because I may care a little about the end reaction.
Isn't that kinda selfish though? What's if that's a deal breaker for him? Now this dude is investing time and energy and money into someone he's not gonna want
click to expand
I agree. Yes, it is selfish. No one is asking for "a life story." It's simply a matter of how available you are... single, divorced, married, separated, etc. Waiting until you feel or don't feel something without affording the other person the same assessment and circumstances is wrong.

I understand how your friend felt and why he dumped her. She started off on the wrong foot... did note bode well for assessing her character, honesty, etc.
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Awwww! Ssupes!

It's hard for me to say what I would do in that situation, but I suppose I would feel things out the first couple of dates to gauge if I'm even interested in the person. If not, then I didn't waste mental and emotional energy sharing my life story. If so, then having that "tell me something about yourself that you haven't shared yet" conversation will be more interesting because I may care a little about the end reaction.
Isn't that kinda selfish though? What's if that's a deal breaker for him? Now this dude is investing time and energy and money into someone he's not gonna want
I don't think it is. The investment goes both ways. I'm not saying to wait months later, but dumping all my baggage on a man during our first date is hardly fair to him. Lay some ground before you attempt to build the base and all that.

Everyone's pacing is different, so you will have to gauge how she responds to you, what she talks about, the level of things she chooses to share about herself, etc.
That's kind of something I ask within 10 mins of knowing you. I ain't trying to get a cap busted in my ginger ass
click to expand
Exactly, I revealed my status immediately. I don't mess around with men.... violence can ensue when you least expect it. I've had guys who I wasn't dating, didn’t even know start fighting.
Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Awwww! Ssupes!

It's hard for me to say what I would do in that situation, but I suppose I would feel things out the first couple of dates to gauge if I'm even interested in the person. If not, then I didn't waste mental and emotional energy sharing my life story. If so, then having that "tell me something about yourself that you haven't shared yet" conversation will be more interesting because I may care a little about the end reaction.
Isn't that kinda selfish though? What's if that's a deal breaker for him? Now this dude is investing time and energy and money into someone he's not gonna want
I agree. Yes, it is selfish. No one is asking for "a life story." It's simply a matter of how available you are... single, divorced, married, separated, etc. Waiting until you feel or don't feel something without affording the other person the same assessment and circumstances is wrong.

I understand how your friend felt and why he dumped her. She started off on the wrong foot... did note bode well for assessing her character, honesty, etc.
click to expand
It's five simple words.
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LadyNeptune
Not on the first date, no.

First date should be focused on finding out as much as possible about the other person so you can determine if you want to go for the second date.

When you ask them out for the second date lay out your cards on the table. Transparency is sexy.
Finding out as much as possible, right? I think telling someone you're still technically married is like THE most important thing to know.
click to expand
Keep it light though. No talk of politics, religion, or past relationships on a first date.

It took a while for me because my ex did not want to get divorced, he kept sending the papers back. Friends wanted to set me up with their friends to go on a date, I told them if they did to let them know I was in the process of the divorce. That way they'd know.

If I met a person on my own, normally I'm the type to be friends first. So we'd get to know each other and I'd tell them.

I ended up feeling bad about it all and stopped dating until after divorce was finalized. Guys wanted to go further and because my divorce wasn't finalized, I felt weird about it and honestly felt I needed time to just find myself again. So hence why I stopped dating.

I think someone should say they are going through it, rather than lie or skate around the topic. Some people seriously don't like being with someone when things are not finalized because you never know what could happen. I didn't encounter that with the guys who wanted to go on a date with me, but I still felt like they should know in order to give them that opportunity to back out if it made them uncomfortable. All appreciated the truth.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LadyNeptune
Not on the first date, no.

First date should be focused on finding out as much as possible about the other person so you can determine if you want to go for the second date.

When you ask them out for the second date lay out your cards on the table. Transparency is sexy.
Finding out as much as possible, right? I think telling someone you're still technically married is like THE most important thing to know.
Keep it light though. No talk of politics, religion, or past relationships on a first date.

click to expand
OK, not being officially divorced means that you are in an actual current relationship. Not a past one. I seriously do not understand how you don't get this

Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LadyNeptune
Not on the first date, no.

First date should be focused on finding out as much as possible about the other person so you can determine if you want to go for the second date.

When you ask them out for the second date lay out your cards on the table. Transparency is sexy.
Finding out as much as possible, right? I think telling someone you're still technically married is like THE most important thing to know.
Keep it light though. No talk of politics, religion, or past relationships on a first date.

OK, not being officially divorced means that you are in an actual current relationship. Not a past one. I seriously do not understand how you don't get this

click to expand
You said 'going through a divorce that is not yet finalized'. That's not a current relationship.

Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Awwww! Ssupes!

It's hard for me to say what I would do in that situation, but I suppose I would feel things out the first couple of dates to gauge if I'm even interested in the person. If not, then I didn't waste mental and emotional energy sharing my life story. If so, then having that "tell me something about yourself that you haven't shared yet" conversation will be more interesting because I may care a little about the end reaction.
Isn't that kinda selfish though? What's if that's a deal breaker for him? Now this dude is investing time and energy and money into someone he's not gonna want
I don't think it is. The investment goes both ways. I'm not saying to wait months later, but dumping all my baggage on a man during our first date is hardly fair to him. Lay some ground before you attempt to build the base and all that.

Everyone's pacing is different, so you will have to gauge how she responds to you, what she talks about, the level of things she chooses to share about herself, etc.
That's kind of something I ask within 10 mins of knowing you. I ain't trying to get a cap busted in my ginger ass
click to expand
Yeah, well, there ya go. I honestly know Jack sh!t about dating because I was never in the game. Do what you feel is right because, like, why the hell not.
Yes. First date, before arranging a date itself.
Posted by Ssuperman
Quick question

Say you're going through a divorce and it's not finalized. Do you tell someone on the first date that you're technically still married or do you wait a few dates?
Hidden truth is a lie .

The other person may take it in a wrong way and may not even begin to trust you .
I think most everyone's fear if you go down this route and accept it, what's in store, and if they would go back.
This question seems unrealistic to me ... unless of course, every new date you go on, you make the assumption that it's with a future life partner.

If every person you went on a first date with, was with a person you were going to connect with to the point that your whole personal history was mandatory to know in order to have respect for each other .... then there wouldn't be any single people.

If once you get to know a new person, and you realize that you like their character, you like their values ... you genuinely believe that his person is to be trusted and wanted ..... then you really would flip out and disregard everything you came to know about this person and like about this person, simply because they had a difficult time they were going through and didn't tell you?


If so, then you're probably a shitty person, who lacks the ability to understand and be considerate .. and you did the separated/nearly divorced person a favor by showing them that you can't handle that they are individuals and have a right to deal with their problems as best as they see fit.

Every person has someone from the past in which was a serious relationship. Just because this person has a piece of paper, doesn't constitute that their relationship was more serious than one that didn't involve matrimony. If that's the case then every relationship you've had where you didn't get married, then you were just playing them and never took them seriously. So, you were the ass the entire time by using the other while never regarding them highly.

There's no obligation to inform a person you don't even fucking know (first date) all information about yourself and your past relationships. At that point (first date) you don't even know if you can even stand being in the same company with that person privately for any length of time.


Seems controlling to me, if you're on the receiving end and demand to know details about the other person's private life, at this initial stage ..... it most likely means that you can't be trusted, since you're incapable of trusting.
It also seems bizarre to me that people believe that it's a potentially waste of time ..... because what that really means is that you have no desire for quality in your life ... only control.

All kinds of people come into your life, and if they don't perform for you and your expectations .. then to meet and have experiences with that new soul is a waste of your time?


What the fuck do you think your time here is for?


Sounds like those people are looking for someone to own.

Posted by P-Angel
This question seems unrealistic to me ... unless of course, every new date you go on, you make the assumption that it's with a future life partner.

If every person you went on a first date with, was with a person you were going to connect with to the point that your whole personal history was mandatory to know in order to have respect for each other .... then there wouldn't be any single people.

If once you get to know a new person, and you realize that you like their character, you like their values ... you genuinely believe that his person is to be trusted and wanted ..... then you really would flip out and disregard everything you came to know about this person and like about this person, simply because they had a difficult time they were going through and didn't tell you?


If so, then you're probably a shitty person, who lacks the ability to understand and be considerate .. and you did the separated/nearly divorced person a favor by showing them that you can't handle that they are individuals and have a right to deal with their problems as best as they see fit.

Every person has someone from the past in which was a serious relationship. Just because this person has a piece of paper, doesn't constitute that their relationship was more serious than one that didn't involve matrimony. If that's the case then every relationship you've had where you didn't get married, then you were just playing them and never took them seriously. So, you were the ass the entire time by using the other while never regarding them highly.

There's no obligation to inform a person you don't even fucking know (first date) all information about yourself and your past relationships. At that point (first date) you don't even know if you can even stand being in the same company with that person privately for any length of time.


Seems controlling to me, if you're on the receiving end and demand to know details about the other person's private life, at this initial stage ..... it most likely means that you can't be trusted, since you're incapable of trusting.
Yea, I can't roll with anything you've said.

There's nothing in past tense here.

Not divorced = CURRENTLY

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
This question seems unrealistic to me ... unless of course, every new date you go on, you make the assumption that it's with a future life partner.

If every person you went on a first date with, was with a person you were going to connect with to the point that your whole personal history was mandatory to know in order to have respect for each other .... then there wouldn't be any single people.

If once you get to know a new person, and you realize that you like their character, you like their values ... you genuinely believe that his person is to be trusted and wanted ..... then you really would flip out and disregard everything you came to know about this person and like about this person, simply because they had a difficult time they were going through and didn't tell you?


If so, then you're probably a shitty person, who lacks the ability to understand and be considerate .. and you did the separated/nearly divorced person a favor by showing them that you can't handle that they are individuals and have a right to deal with their problems as best as they see fit.

Every person has someone from the past in which was a serious relationship. Just because this person has a piece of paper, doesn't constitute that their relationship was more serious than one that didn't involve matrimony. If that's the case then every relationship you've had where you didn't get married, then you were just playing them and never took them seriously. So, you were the ass the entire time by using the other while never regarding them highly.

There's no obligation to inform a person you don't even fucking know (first date) all information about yourself and your past relationships. At that point (first date) you don't even know if you can even stand being in the same company with that person privately for any length of time.


Seems controlling to me, if you're on the receiving end and demand to know details about the other person's private life, at this initial stage ..... it most likely means that you can't be trusted, since you're incapable of trusting.
Yea, I can't roll with anything you've said.

There's nothing in past tense here.

Not divorced = CURRENTLY

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.
click to expand


I don't understand what you mean. I thought this was about a girl who's relationship was over, she is separated, working toward divorce, and going to go on dates.

So, you've deceived your viewing audience to get very specific answers?

Because if it's a current relationship, you didn't say that .. you said separated, getting divorced

So, which is it? make up your mind. Is it a current relationship or separated one?


Or perhaps, it's neither and you're just trying to manipulate answers to suit you because you are the guy she wants to date and you can't get over your control issues, and so are projecting this onto her, and merely lying to us and saying it's a friend.

Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
This question seems unrealistic to me ... unless of course, every new date you go on, you make the assumption that it's with a future life partner.

If every person you went on a first date with, was with a person you were going to connect with to the point that your whole personal history was mandatory to know in order to have respect for each other .... then there wouldn't be any single people.

If once you get to know a new person, and you realize that you like their character, you like their values ... you genuinely believe that his person is to be trusted and wanted ..... then you really would flip out and disregard everything you came to know about this person and like about this person, simply because they had a difficult time they were going through and didn't tell you?


If so, then you're probably a shitty person, who lacks the ability to understand and be considerate .. and you did the separated/nearly divorced person a favor by showing them that you can't handle that they are individuals and have a right to deal with their problems as best as they see fit.

Every person has someone from the past in which was a serious relationship. Just because this person has a piece of paper, doesn't constitute that their relationship was more serious than one that didn't involve matrimony. If that's the case then every relationship you've had where you didn't get married, then you were just playing them and never took them seriously. So, you were the ass the entire time by using the other while never regarding them highly.

There's no obligation to inform a person you don't even fucking know (first date) all information about yourself and your past relationships. At that point (first date) you don't even know if you can even stand being in the same company with that person privately for any length of time.


Seems controlling to me, if you're on the receiving end and demand to know details about the other person's private life, at this initial stage ..... it most likely means that you can't be trusted, since you're incapable of trusting.
Yea, I can't roll with anything you've said.

There's nothing in past tense here.

Not divorced = CURRENTLY

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.


I don't understand what you mean. I thought this was about a girl who's relationship was over, she is separated, working toward divorce, and going to go on dates.

So, you've deceived your viewing audience to get very specific answers?

Because if it's a current relationship, you didn't say that .. you said separated, getting divorced

So, which is it? make up your mind. Is it a current relationship or separated one?


Or perhaps, it's neither and you're just trying to manipulate answers to suit you because you are the guy she wants to date and you can't get your control issues, and so are projecting this onto her, and merely lying to us and saying it's a friend.

click to expand
Lol at you!

No, this has nothing to do with me.

I think marriage is different than dating. Dating you can just walk away and there's nothing else to it. Marriage is very different. It's a legal and godly bonding. I think until those papers are signed, you're still legally married, right???

Like I've said, I've dated someone who was going through a divorce. However, I knew her situation BEFOREHAND. I made the choice to take her on a date knowing her situation.
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
This question seems unrealistic to me ... unless of course, every new date you go on, you make the assumption that it's with a future life partner.

If every person you went on a first date with, was with a person you were going to connect with to the point that your whole personal history was mandatory to know in order to have respect for each other .... then there wouldn't be any single people.

If once you get to know a new person, and you realize that you like their character, you like their values ... you genuinely believe that his person is to be trusted and wanted ..... then you really would flip out and disregard everything you came to know about this person and like about this person, simply because they had a difficult time they were going through and didn't tell you?


If so, then you're probably a shitty person, who lacks the ability to understand and be considerate .. and you did the separated/nearly divorced person a favor by showing them that you can't handle that they are individuals and have a right to deal with their problems as best as they see fit.

Every person has someone from the past in which was a serious relationship. Just because this person has a piece of paper, doesn't constitute that their relationship was more serious than one that didn't involve matrimony. If that's the case then every relationship you've had where you didn't get married, then you were just playing them and never took them seriously. So, you were the ass the entire time by using the other while never regarding them highly.

There's no obligation to inform a person you don't even fucking know (first date) all information about yourself and your past relationships. At that point (first date) you don't even know if you can even stand being in the same company with that person privately for any length of time.


Seems controlling to me, if you're on the receiving end and demand to know details about the other person's private life, at this initial stage ..... it most likely means that you can't be trusted, since you're incapable of trusting.
Yea, I can't roll with anything you've said.

There's nothing in past tense here.

Not divorced = CURRENTLY

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.


I don't understand what you mean. I thought this was about a girl who's relationship was over, she is separated, working toward divorce, and going to go on dates.

So, you've deceived your viewing audience to get very specific answers?

Because if it's a current relationship, you didn't say that .. you said separated, getting divorced

So, which is it? make up your mind. Is it a current relationship or separated one?


Or perhaps, it's neither and you're just trying to manipulate answers to suit you because you are the guy she wants to date and you can't get your control issues, and so are projecting this onto her, and merely lying to us and saying it's a friend.

Lol at you!

No, this has nothing to do with me.

I think marriage is different than dating. Dating you can just walk away and there's nothing else to it. Marriage is very different. It's a legal and godly bonding. I think until those papers are signed, you're still legally married, right???

Like I've said, I've dated someone who was going through a divorce. However, I knew her situation BEFOREHAND. I made the choice to take her on a date knowing her situation.
click to expand


No, actually you're not legally bound to the person if the separation process has been formalized.

Justify sui juris marriage ..... it is legally binding in many jurisdictions and NO papers have ever been signed.

If two people are legally separated .... then the are no longer married.



Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
This question seems unrealistic to me ... unless of course, every new date you go on, you make the assumption that it's with a future life partner.

If every person you went on a first date with, was with a person you were going to connect with to the point that your whole personal history was mandatory to know in order to have respect for each other .... then there wouldn't be any single people.

If once you get to know a new person, and you realize that you like their character, you like their values ... you genuinely believe that his person is to be trusted and wanted ..... then you really would flip out and disregard everything you came to know about this person and like about this person, simply because they had a difficult time they were going through and didn't tell you?


If so, then you're probably a shitty person, who lacks the ability to understand and be considerate .. and you did the separated/nearly divorced person a favor by showing them that you can't handle that they are individuals and have a right to deal with their problems as best as they see fit.

Every person has someone from the past in which was a serious relationship. Just because this person has a piece of paper, doesn't constitute that their relationship was more serious than one that didn't involve matrimony. If that's the case then every relationship you've had where you didn't get married, then you were just playing them and never took them seriously. So, you were the ass the entire time by using the other while never regarding them highly.

There's no obligation to inform a person you don't even fucking know (first date) all information about yourself and your past relationships. At that point (first date) you don't even know if you can even stand being in the same company with that person privately for any length of time.


Seems controlling to me, if you're on the receiving end and demand to know details about the other person's private life, at this initial stage ..... it most likely means that you can't be trusted, since you're incapable of trusting.
Yea, I can't roll with anything you've said.

There's nothing in past tense here.

Not divorced = CURRENTLY

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.


I don't understand what you mean. I thought this was about a girl who's relationship was over, she is separated, working toward divorce, and going to go on dates.

So, you've deceived your viewing audience to get very specific answers?

Because if it's a current relationship, you didn't say that .. you said separated, getting divorced

So, which is it? make up your mind. Is it a current relationship or separated one?


Or perhaps, it's neither and you're just trying to manipulate answers to suit you because you are the guy she wants to date and you can't get your control issues, and so are projecting this onto her, and merely lying to us and saying it's a friend.

Lol at you!

No, this has nothing to do with me.

I think marriage is different than dating. Dating you can just walk away and there's nothing else to it. Marriage is very different. It's a legal and godly bonding. I think until those papers are signed, you're still legally married, right???

Like I've said, I've dated someone who was going through a divorce. However, I knew her situation BEFOREHAND. I made the choice to take her on a date knowing her situation.


No, actually you're not legally bound to the person if the separation process has been formalized.

Justify sui juris marriage ..... it is legally binding in many jurisdictions and NO papers have ever been signed.

If two people are legally separated .... then the are no longer married.



click to expand
That's not true at all.
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
This question seems unrealistic to me ... unless of course, every new date you go on, you make the assumption that it's with a future life partner.

If every person you went on a first date with, was with a person you were going to connect with to the point that your whole personal history was mandatory to know in order to have respect for each other .... then there wouldn't be any single people.

If once you get to know a new person, and you realize that you like their character, you like their values ... you genuinely believe that his person is to be trusted and wanted ..... then you really would flip out and disregard everything you came to know about this person and like about this person, simply because they had a difficult time they were going through and didn't tell you?


If so, then you're probably a shitty person, who lacks the ability to understand and be considerate .. and you did the separated/nearly divorced person a favor by showing them that you can't handle that they are individuals and have a right to deal with their problems as best as they see fit.

Every person has someone from the past in which was a serious relationship. Just because this person has a piece of paper, doesn't constitute that their relationship was more serious than one that didn't involve matrimony. If that's the case then every relationship you've had where you didn't get married, then you were just playing them and never took them seriously. So, you were the ass the entire time by using the other while never regarding them highly.

There's no obligation to inform a person you don't even fucking know (first date) all information about yourself and your past relationships. At that point (first date) you don't even know if you can even stand being in the same company with that person privately for any length of time.


Seems controlling to me, if you're on the receiving end and demand to know details about the other person's private life, at this initial stage ..... it most likely means that you can't be trusted, since you're incapable of trusting.
Yea, I can't roll with anything you've said.

There's nothing in past tense here.

Not divorced = CURRENTLY

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.


I don't understand what you mean. I thought this was about a girl who's relationship was over, she is separated, working toward divorce, and going to go on dates.

So, you've deceived your viewing audience to get very specific answers?

Because if it's a current relationship, you didn't say that .. you said separated, getting divorced

So, which is it? make up your mind. Is it a current relationship or separated one?


Or perhaps, it's neither and you're just trying to manipulate answers to suit you because you are the guy she wants to date and you can't get your control issues, and so are projecting this onto her, and merely lying to us and saying it's a friend.

Lol at you!

No, this has nothing to do with me.

I think marriage is different than dating. Dating you can just walk away and there's nothing else to it. Marriage is very different. It's a legal and godly bonding. I think until those papers are signed, you're still legally married, right???

Like I've said, I've dated someone who was going through a divorce. However, I knew her situation BEFOREHAND. I made the choice to take her on a date knowing her situation.


No, actually you're not legally bound to the person if the separation process has been formalized.

Justify sui juris marriage ..... it is legally binding in many jurisdictions and NO papers have ever been signed.

If two people are legally separated .... then the are no longer married.



That's not true at all.
click to expand


yes, it is

No. That's my problem, not his

Dating doesn't mean he's your bf, potential but still not.

If you fall for him then tell, but chances are he will dump you

We don't have any more knights left nowadays , be prepared.
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
This question seems unrealistic to me ... unless of course, every new date you go on, you make the assumption that it's with a future life partner.

If every person you went on a first date with, was with a person you were going to connect with to the point that your whole personal history was mandatory to know in order to have respect for each other .... then there wouldn't be any single people.

If once you get to know a new person, and you realize that you like their character, you like their values ... you genuinely believe that his person is to be trusted and wanted ..... then you really would flip out and disregard everything you came to know about this person and like about this person, simply because they had a difficult time they were going through and didn't tell you?


If so, then you're probably a shitty person, who lacks the ability to understand and be considerate .. and you did the separated/nearly divorced person a favor by showing them that you can't handle that they are individuals and have a right to deal with their problems as best as they see fit.

Every person has someone from the past in which was a serious relationship. Just because this person has a piece of paper, doesn't constitute that their relationship was more serious than one that didn't involve matrimony. If that's the case then every relationship you've had where you didn't get married, then you were just playing them and never took them seriously. So, you were the ass the entire time by using the other while never regarding them highly.

There's no obligation to inform a person you don't even fucking know (first date) all information about yourself and your past relationships. At that point (first date) you don't even know if you can even stand being in the same company with that person privately for any length of time.


Seems controlling to me, if you're on the receiving end and demand to know details about the other person's private life, at this initial stage ..... it most likely means that you can't be trusted, since you're incapable of trusting.
Yea, I can't roll with anything you've said.

There's nothing in past tense here.

Not divorced = CURRENTLY

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.


I don't understand what you mean. I thought this was about a girl who's relationship was over, she is separated, working toward divorce, and going to go on dates.

So, you've deceived your viewing audience to get very specific answers?

Because if it's a current relationship, you didn't say that .. you said separated, getting divorced

So, which is it? make up your mind. Is it a current relationship or separated one?


Or perhaps, it's neither and you're just trying to manipulate answers to suit you because you are the guy she wants to date and you can't get your control issues, and so are projecting this onto her, and merely lying to us and saying it's a friend.

Lol at you!

No, this has nothing to do with me.

I think marriage is different than dating. Dating you can just walk away and there's nothing else to it. Marriage is very different. It's a legal and godly bonding. I think until those papers are signed, you're still legally married, right???

Like I've said, I've dated someone who was going through a divorce. However, I knew her situation BEFOREHAND. I made the choice to take her on a date knowing her situation.


No, actually you're not legally bound to the person if the separation process has been formalized.

Justify sui juris marriage ..... it is legally binding in many jurisdictions and NO papers have ever been signed.

If two people are legally separated .... then the are no longer married.



That's not true at all.


yes, it is

click to expand
Look, this is easy to explain.

When you file for divorce the first thing that happens is a motion to separate. YOURE STILL MARRIED. Just because you file don't mean anything. Just like applying for a marriage license don't mean you're married!
Posted by pisceanloves
No. That's my problem, not his

Dating doesn't mean he's your bf, potential but still not.

If you fall for him then tell, but chances are he will dump you

We don't have any more knights left nowadays , be prepared.
He gonna dump you because you lied/withheld pertinent info
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by pisceanloves
No. That's my problem, not his

Dating doesn't mean he's your bf, potential but still not.

If you fall for him then tell, but chances are he will dump you

We don't have any more knights left nowadays , be prepared.
He gonna dump you because you lied/withheld pertinent info
click to expand
First of all no one is going to dump me. Second, everybody lies, at least in the very beginning.

you say truth when it's worth it, you don't play games unless you sure you win

Posted by pisceanloves
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by pisceanloves
No. That's my problem, not his

Dating doesn't mean he's your bf, potential but still not.

If you fall for him then tell, but chances are he will dump you

We don't have any more knights left nowadays , be prepared.
He gonna dump you because you lied/withheld pertinent info
First of all no one is going to dump me. Second, everybody lies, at least in the very beginning.

you say truth when it's worth it, you don't play games unless you sure you win

click to expand
Bahahahahahaahah!!!!
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel
This question seems unrealistic to me ... unless of course, every new date you go on, you make the assumption that it's with a future life partner.

If every person you went on a first date with, was with a person you were going to connect with to the point that your whole personal history was mandatory to know in order to have respect for each other .... then there wouldn't be any single people.

If once you get to know a new person, and you realize that you like their character, you like their values ... you genuinely believe that his person is to be trusted and wanted ..... then you really would flip out and disregard everything you came to know about this person and like about this person, simply because they had a difficult time they were going through and didn't tell you?


If so, then you're probably a shitty person, who lacks the ability to understand and be considerate .. and you did the separated/nearly divorced person a favor by showing them that you can't handle that they are individuals and have a right to deal with their problems as best as they see fit.

Every person has someone from the past in which was a serious relationship. Just because this person has a piece of paper, doesn't constitute that their relationship was more serious than one that didn't involve matrimony. If that's the case then every relationship you've had where you didn't get married, then you were just playing them and never took them seriously. So, you were the ass the entire time by using the other while never regarding them highly.

There's no obligation to inform a person you don't even fucking know (first date) all information about yourself and your past relationships. At that point (first date) you don't even know if you can even stand being in the same company with that person privately for any length of time.


Seems controlling to me, if you're on the receiving end and demand to know details about the other person's private life, at this initial stage ..... it most likely means that you can't be trusted, since you're incapable of trusting.
Yea, I can't roll with anything you've said.

There's nothing in past tense here.

Not divorced = CURRENTLY

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.


I don't understand what you mean. I thought this was about a girl who's relationship was over, she is separated, working toward divorce, and going to go on dates.

So, you've deceived your viewing audience to get very specific answers?

Because if it's a current relationship, you didn't say that .. you said separated, getting divorced

So, which is it? make up your mind. Is it a current relationship or separated one?


Or perhaps, it's neither and you're just trying to manipulate answers to suit you because you are the guy she wants to date and you can't get your control issues, and so are projecting this onto her, and merely lying to us and saying it's a friend.

Lol at you!

No, this has nothing to do with me.

I think marriage is different than dating. Dating you can just walk away and there's nothing else to it. Marriage is very different. It's a legal and godly bonding. I think until those papers are signed, you're still legally married, right???

Like I've said, I've dated someone who was going through a divorce. However, I knew her situation BEFOREHAND. I made the choice to take her on a date knowing her situation.


No, actually you're not legally bound to the person if the separation process has been formalized.

Justify sui juris marriage ..... it is legally binding in many jurisdictions and NO papers have ever been signed.

If two people are legally separated .... then the are no longer married.



That's not true at all.


yes, it is

Look, this is easy to explain.

When you file for divorce the first thing that happens is a motion to separate. YOURE STILL MARRIED. Just because you file don't mean anything. Just like applying for a marriage license don't mean you're married!
click to expand
No dah .... so you only heard that one thing I said.

I said a lot .... you said you couldn't relate to any of it, which means you don't believe that people have a right to their own personal business.


A person could have broken off a relationship that they were in for years and years .. marriage is irrelevant in this theory of yours.

to have a document isn't the deciding factor in whether another person should be informed.


Furthermore, I think you're confused. In one of your answers to me, you said .....



Posted by Ssuperman

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.




Dating a person, and going on a first date with a person you don't know ... isn't the same thing.

This question is asking if you should tell your personal information to a person you don't know.

this isn't about a person you are "dating" to whom SHOULD have this kind of information, for trust and respect consideration purposes.

So, you really believe that random people have a right to know your personal business?

How bizarre.



Posted by P-Angel

A person could have broken off a relationship that they were in for years and years .. marriage is irrelevant in this theory of yours.

to have a document isn't the deciding factor in whether another person should be informed.


Furthermore, I think you're confused. In one of your answers to me, you said .....



Posted by Ssuperman

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.




Dating a person, and going on a first date with a person you don't know ... isn't the same thing.

This question is asking if you should tell your personal information to a person you don't know.

this isn't about a person you are "dating" to whom SHOULD have this kind of information, for trust and respect consideration purposes.

So, you really believe that random people have a right to know your personal business?

How bizarre.



click to expand
I think you're bizarre
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by P-Angel

A person could have broken off a relationship that they were in for years and years .. marriage is irrelevant in this theory of yours.

to have a document isn't the deciding factor in whether another person should be informed.


Furthermore, I think you're confused. In one of your answers to me, you said .....



Posted by Ssuperman

I would/have dated someone not completely divorced.




Dating a person, and going on a first date with a person you don't know ... isn't the same thing.

This question is asking if you should tell your personal information to a person you don't know.

this isn't about a person you are "dating" to whom SHOULD have this kind of information, for trust and respect consideration purposes.

So, you really believe that random people have a right to know your personal business?

How bizarre.



I think you're bizarre
click to expand


how so?



I pointed out why you are confused .. while you just make empty statements


A previous relationship has nothing to do with random people that you pick out of the crowd to talk to and go to the movies with.

Unless this first date is with a friend to whom you know .... it's just a random person who knows little more than your name.

But, to that person, you OWE them intel of your personal life?


I guess in this theory then, they should have a right to know everything .... how much money you make, how many men you've fucked, how many children you have, their ages, names, where they go to school, all of your family members should also come on this date because they should a right to know them since they will also have ramifications on the relationship, if by chance one develops. They should know your co-workers, all boy/girl friends you've ever had, their names, where they work, how much money you have in the bank, what you spend your money on, credit cards and how much money you owe on them, your credit score, all debts you have, your education, how much student loan debt you have, do you own your car, if not how much you own on it, all of your friends should also be on this date since they will also effect your life should this random person you're taking to dinner end up being more to you.

You think random person has a right to know all of your personal information .. talk about bizarre.


the picture has become very clear now why you can't get and/or keep a girlfriend. You've come in here often to whine about why nobody wants or loves you. Perhaps, you should rethink your principals.
Posted by P-Angel

I pointed out why you are confused .. while you just make empty statements


A previous relationship has nothing to do with random people that you pick out of the crowd to talk to and go to the movies with.

Unless this first date is with a friend to whom you know .... it's just a random person who knows little more than your name.

But, to that person, you OWE them intel of your personal life?


I guess in this theory then, they should have a right to know everything .... how much money you make, how many men you've fucked, how many children you have, their ages, names, where they go to school, all of your family members should also come on this date because they should a right to know them since they will also have ramifications on the relationship, if by chance one develops. They should know your co-workers, all boy/girl friends you've ever had, their names, where they work, how much money you have in the bank, what you spend your money on, credit cards and how much money you owe on them, your credit score, all debts you have, your education, how much student loan debt you have, do you own your car, if not how much you own on it, all of your friends should also be on this date since they will also effect your life should this random person you're taking to dinner end up being more to you.

You think random person has a right to know all of your personal information .. talk about bizarre.


the picture has become very clear now why you can't get and/or keep a girlfriend. You've come in here often to whine about why nobody wants or loves you. Perhaps, you should rethink your principals.
Lol. Whining? Nah. I wouldn't call it whining. Do I have whoa is me moments like everyone else here? Sure. Then again, 75% of the time I'm being an ass and mocking someone. I see why you say that though.

Now, back to the subject oh analytical one! You always go to the extremes. Nobody is talking about bank records and stuff. I kept the question very specific, for this very reason. I can kinda see your point but it's wrong to me. You get married by a judge, divorced by one too. Are you talking about mentally checking out means you're now single?