Serious Questions: What would you do in these situations?

Lets say your child meets a friend and wants to sleepover their house and that family is willing but something is odd about them. You're face to face with this family btw.

What do you say?

What do you do?

Also, lets say you have a close family member who is a bad influence on your child/something is odd about them. Do you keep the child away from them?

How do you do this without giving away the fact you think something is odd about them?

Posted by undefined
I guess you just keep procrastinating the plan... and/or make something up that you've bought some movie tickets or that youre going out for dinner or something. The only way I can think about this is to avoid them.. and then tell the kid when theyre older why you did the things you did. I don't think its a good idea to say anything to anyone just yet. Or maybe just say you don't like your kid to have sleepovers, and that you want to pick him up at a certain time?

This isn't personal but I guess telling them you don't like the kid to have sleepovers is the best option...
The constant procrastinating would be obvious.

Posted by Gooober
Lets say your child meets a friend and wants to sleepover their house and that family is willing but something is odd about them. You're face to face with this family btw.

What do you say?

What do you do?

Also, lets say you have a close family member who is a bad influence on your child/something is odd about them. Do you keep the child away from them?

How do you do this without giving away the fact you think something is odd about them?

What do you mean by "odd"? Elaborate. I personally wouldn't let my son go to a sleepover unless I actually knew the parents fairly well, as well as the house setting.
As for the family member, it s a bit trickier, but if they have a bad influence on your child I would speak to them about what's bothering you.

1. If I have bad feelings my kid will not go, and we'll figure something else out in public together in front of all.

2. Have them always come over to your house, so you can have peace of mind they are safe and secure.

My child's safety would be first and foremost beyond anyone else's feelings, beyond political correctness, beyond niceties, beyond social rules, beyond expectations, beyond who the people are, beyond anything. The moment my Mommy Senses go off, I listen. Period. In this case, I would rather regret not doing something (allowing a sleepover, for example) then regret going against my instincts.

I think offending another family is the least of our worries- where children are concerned you gotta trust your instinct right?

I know based on my own upbringing (courtesy of Virgo mother) she would just say outright that I wasn't allowed because she wasn't comfortable with such and such- and she would explain to their faces and to me why etc... that includes friends and relatives.

I mean, more often then not being parents themselves with their own hangups for whatever reason they would totally get it.
As adults they understood it's just too iffy sometimes to risk...
if they were personally offended it cleared them off the social calendar anyways hahaha

I wouldn't let my CAT stay with someone I had a funny feeling about.

Their safety and well being trumps anyone's feelings.

How much more a child.

If you're that concerned about their feelings, blame yourself--

tell them you're over protective.

Who cares... guard the kid.

Posted by Charfig5

Posted by Gooober
Lets say your child meets a friend and wants to sleepover their house and that family is willing but something is odd about them. You're face to face with this family btw.

What do you say?

What do you do?

Also, lets say you have a close family member who is a bad influence on your child/something is odd about them. Do you keep the child away from them?

How do you do this without giving away the fact you think something is odd about them?

What do you mean by "odd"? Elaborate. I personally wouldn't let my son go to a sleepover unless I actually knew the parents fairly well, as well as the house setting.
As for the family member, it s a bit trickier, but if they have a bad influence on your child I would speak to them about what's bothering you.

click to expand

It could be anything that's odd. Like, maybe they're too nice and they turned out to be some kind of satanist who would try and sacrifice my child or something. Or maybe you don't think they're fit parents and don't trust them to protect your child. Something along those lines.

But, I agree with you.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
1. If I have bad feelings my kid will not go, and we'll figure something else out in public together in front of all.

2. Have them always come over to your house, so you can have peace of mind they are safe and secure.

I agree, especially with number two.

Posted by wagtail
I think offending another family is the least of our worries- where children are concerned you gotta trust your instinct right?

I know based on my own upbringing (courtesy of Virgo mother) she would just say outright that I wasn't allowed because she wasn't comfortable with such and such- and she would explain to their faces and to me why etc... that includes friends and relatives.

I mean, more often then not being parents themselves with their own hangups for whatever reason they would totally get it.
As adults they understood it's just too iffy sometimes to risk...
if they were personally offended it cleared them off the social calendar anyways hahaha

To answer your question, definitely.

I've just seen this a lot, people being afraid to offend someone so they take the risk or stay quite and then, boom something happens to their kid or they influence their kid in the wrong way.

Posted by Gooober

Posted by Charfig5

Posted by Gooober
Lets say your child meets a friend and wants to sleepover their house and that family is willing but something is odd about them. You're face to face with this family btw.

What do you say?

What do you do?

Also, lets say you have a close family member who is a bad influence on your child/something is odd about them. Do you keep the child away from them?

How do you do this without giving away the fact you think something is odd about them?

What do you mean by "odd"? Elaborate. I personally wouldn't let my son go to a sleepover unless I actually knew the parents fairly well, as well as the house setting.
As for the family member, it s a bit trickier, but if they have a bad influence on your child I would speak to them about what's bothering you.

It could be anything that's odd. Like, maybe they're too nice and they turned out to be some kind of satanist who would try and sacrifice my child or something. Or maybe you don't think they're fit parents and don't trust them to protect your child. Something along those lines.

But, I agree with you.

click to expand

If you don't think they're fit parents and you don't trust them, then there is no way you should leave your child alone with them , ever. Better safe than sorry. There are too many sick people out there.
One thing I never understood in the US is that people will leave their children at birthday parties and such without knowing the parents... I mean, I am to be trusted, but it always amazed me how at every single party I had for my son, parents would just drop their kids off and tell me, alright see you later! I personally would never be able to do that. I don't know you, I'll keep an eye on my child, thank you. Lol

Posted by Charfig5

Posted by Gooober

Posted by Charfig5

Posted by Gooober
Lets say your child meets a friend and wants to sleepover their house and that family is willing but something is odd about them. You're face to face with this family btw.

What do you say?

What do you do?

Also, lets say you have a close family member who is a bad influence on your child/something is odd about them. Do you keep the child away from them?

How do you do this without giving away the fact you think something is odd about them?

What do you mean by "odd"? Elaborate. I personally wouldn't let my son go to a sleepover unless I actually knew the parents fairly well, as well as the house setting.
As for the family member, it s a bit trickier, but if they have a bad influence on your child I would speak to them about what's bothering you.

It could be anything that's odd. Like, maybe they're too nice and they turned out to be some kind of satanist who would try and sacrifice my child or something. Or maybe you don't think they're fit parents and don't trust them to protect your child. Something along those lines.

But, I agree with you.

If you don't think they're fit parents and you don't trust them, then there is no way you should leave your child alone with them , ever. Better safe than sorry. There are too many sick people out there.
One thing I never understood in the US is that people will leave their children at birthday parties and such without knowing the parents... I mean, I am to be trusted, but it always amazed me how at every single party I had for my son, parents would just drop their kids off and tell me, alright see you later! I personally would never be able to do that. I don't know you, I'll keep an eye on my child, thank you. Lol

click to expand

Yep, I know what you mean. Some parents are just that desperate to get a break from their children.

@TheLibraMudra Lmao.

I don't know if it's already been mentioned... but you should obviously have the kid sleepover at your place instead. One night of you casually conversing and asking general questions to the kid about their parents would give you some more insight into the family.

And why the heck are people so scared to stand up to their family members if they're possibly a bad influence on their kid? Maybe teach your kid to be around you more if you guys have to be around that particular person so you can keep an eye on things...

Be blunt. Hurting their feelings vs your child's safety. Your child should win. Tell them your child isn't allowed to sleepover at anyone's house.

Posted by Nemilicious
@Goober "How do you do this without giving away the fact you think something is odd about them?"

from my experience - ALWAYS be honest and upright with your kids. it does not matter how old they are and if they want to hear it or not.

to be taken seriously you must be able to take a stand - so i don´t get why you would not want to "give away" that you think they´re odd. open communication is a key element; kids are not stupid, they will sense manipulation ...

after a certain age - there comes a time where they must make their own decisions and also failures. control only goes so far.

I agree but I also want to consider the possibility of me being wrong. I know accusing people of things or treating people wrong when you may be wrong is wrong, you know. There's no doubt I would keep my child away but I don't want to be rude about it just in case I'm wrong.

Posted by Nemilicious

Posted by Gooober

Posted by Nemilicious
@Goober "How do you do this without giving away the fact you think something is odd about them?"

from my experience - ALWAYS be honest and upright with your kids. it does not matter how old they are and if they want to hear it or not.

to be taken seriously you must be able to take a stand - so i don´t get why you would not want to "give away" that you think they´re odd. open communication is a key element; kids are not stupid, they will sense manipulation ...

after a certain age - there comes a time where they must make their own decisions and also failures. control only goes so far.

I agree but I also want to consider the possibility of me being wrong. I know accusing people of things or treating people wrong when you may be wrong is wrong, you know. There's no doubt I would keep my child away but I don't want to be rude about it just in case I'm wrong.

where are these "offish" vibes coming from? experience, hearsay, just something that creeps into your mind?

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Well, I'm not experiencing this right now. Just asking based upon my observations.

Posted by VenusStar
Be blunt. Hurting their feelings vs your child's safety. Your child should win. Tell them your child isn't allowed to sleepover at anyone's house.

There's no doubt id keep them away I just know I probably wouldn't be comfortable with being rude or obvious about it, you know.