Splitting the bill in a group in restaurants

I am reading now a thread on some forum, where the OP was not happy with splitting the bill evenly amongs the group as the OP had significantly less consumption and wanted to pay only for her own food/drinks, but was told she is ruining the meal and the atmosphere. She asked for opinions

Lots of people said that its miserable and cringeworthy to not wanting to split the bill evenly, as its a social norm (UK based forum) and the OP is tight and cheap and making a fuss for a tenner (she was on a budget, but wanted to go out with the group to socialize a bit)

On the other hand, lots of other people said its reasonable to pay for your own meal/drinks and they dont want to subsidise the big eaters/drinkers

both sides were exaggerating, like:

the split the bill group: I cant imagine how cheap are people who take out a calculator to count the pennies

the pay for your own food group: I cant imagine how you are not embarassed that some people would pay for your lobsters and champers

I am really fascinated by this, how big an issue it seems to be, in my country the waiter just goes around the group table with the bill and everyone says what they had and pay for it with tips, and the waiter crosses out the paid items

on the other hand, when we go out with best friends (just a few of us) it happens regularly that one of us pick the bill and pay for it, as it evens out

but how about some work-related outing, not close friends?

what do you think? what are your experiences with splitting the bill?

My tab usually has a lot of drinks on it. When staff comes around, I ask for MY tab.. specify any items I got for the table, to be added to mine, and anyone else's I will be picking up.

If it's a small tab with my bff and I (like late night drunk grub), one of us will pick up the tab and the other will leave a tip.

This is the good thing about having only a few good friends.

Posted by _Dazed

My tab usually has a lot of drinks on it. When staff comes around, I ask for MY tab.. specify any items I got for the table, to be added to mine, and anyone else's I will be picking up.

exactly

but, if there is only one tab for the whole table (as its quite common here), I try to go to the bar and pay everything what I had and what was my treat for the others, and it gets crossed out from the common tab

I was fascinated when reading that other thread I mentioned, because people seemed not knowing at all what they had consumed and what it cost, because it "ruins the evening" to think about it and counting what they had..... I mean, even if I m shyte-face drank, the one thing I always know - what I raffly consumed and to pay the bill or who paid the bill (in which case I acknowledge it later and pay) so noone feels resentful

What if we're at a classy restaurant and someone orders a bottle of "Domaine de la Romanee Conti (edition 1995 - supposedly one of the best years)"?🤨 The cheapest bottle is around 20.000 $ 🧐I bet "the split the bill evenly group" - would dissipate on spot - acting as if they never went by this principle before. A bunch of hypocrites - for sure.

and now I read another comment, when the commenter was ridiculing the OP for making a fuss about Ł 10, saying they had a 3 girls get-together, the tab was Ł 320 and they split it, why would anyone stress about a tenner

I was just thinking: if we put the amounts in relative:

for the OP it was 10 over the budget....I think that commenter should think about what she/he would consider over the budget (50? 100?) and comment on that, if they would be comfortable and happy to pay 150/200, if they budgeted (and had a meal/drinks) for 100 of whatever currency

Posted by neves

What if we're at a classy restaurant and someone orders a bottle of "Domaine de la Romanee Conti (edition 1995 - supposedly one of the best years)"?🤨 The cheapest bottle is around 20.000 $ 🧐I bet "the split the bill group evenly" - would dissipate on spot - acting as if they never went by this principle before. A bunch of hypocrites - for sure.

yes, that is what I am saying in the post above

the "split the bill" category people ridicule the "on the budget" category of people, without considering what would happen in a case of the best bottle ordered by one of the party (like you mentioned) and that person would like to split the bill... I wonder how many of these "highflyers" would be okey with it, if they didnt even had a sip of that bottle

but they are feeling righteous and acting pretentious, that a low-income person in the party, who had only a sandwich and tap water would not like to split the bill, if the other had steaks and lobsters and champers and coctails

bunch of hypocrites, like you said

Adults should be treated as adults. If an adult wants to pay his or her own way, what REALLY is the problem?

Let's be very truthful here. There are THOSE who will order more in quantity or higher in cost JUST BECAUSE they KNOW the bill will be split "evenly". Is that really fair?

Personally, I've never been in this predicament. I've been out with groups of women from 3 to 15 and the waiter ALWAYS ASKS, are we doing separate checks? That has always worked with us. Never an issue. Why? Because we are adults choosing to be responsible for OUR VERY OWN, PERSONALIZED, bill.

don't socialize to avoid problem next time

Posted by virgoOPPP

don't socialize to avoid problem next time

🙂

there are people who want to go out with a group and just want to pay for their own food/drinks. now they shouldnt go out, because they cant/dont want to pay for other people´s meals/drinks as well. Bonkers 🙂

(in that forum there are lots of responses like: if you dont have money, dont go out. The thing is, they do have money for their choices, they just dont have money for the other people choices. But fair enough, why would you want to go out with people who would not respect the: I pay for my own food, you lot split or whatever you want. True

but... also, there are family obligations, or work-related outings, where it can be tricky, if the others are obtuse)

I pay for my own stuff too. I don't like splitting it evenly. I have a friend that used to order tons of stuff and try and split the bill evenly. But she had me fucced up when she split it evenly and then had the nerve not to leave a tip! NO. So now I always split the bill by my food and drinks only.

Posted by _Dazed

If it's a small tab with my bff and I (like late night drunk grub), one of us will pick up the tab and the other will leave a tip.

This is the good thing about having only a few good friends.

You...have a BFF? I didn’t know you are I to guys😳

yeah, change those social norms by sticking to the above advice and patterns - people will take advantage whenever the opportunity presents itself - soon others will get the clue / hint and start separating their bills out as well

like one poster said - it's one thing if everyone ordered about the same cost meal and drinks but when one butt head is "ordering up" because they don't know how to act when out the house then he/she needs to learn to pay their own greedy way or decline to get together

personally I've never really had a problem with someone's exaggerated order to the plus or minus - most of all my peeps hang together in the middle anyway - not sure why it's an issue but I can see

Why are you eating out at a restaurant if your on such a tight budget?

If your eating out in a group of 6+ then yes, its customary to split the bill equally more or less. Because forcing your server to bring the table that many different bills is a big ask.

The simple solution here is obvi to always bring cash, and smaller bills at that. So you can throw down some paper and be all, yep that covers me. Its when everyone is paying with cards that it gets tricky logistically and easier to just tell the server, split them all up equally.

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by _Dazed

If it's a small tab with my bff and I (like late night drunk grub), one of us will pick up the tab and the other will leave a tip.

This is the good thing about having only a few good friends.

You...have a BFF? I didn’t know you are I to guys😳

click to expand

Are you drunk?

Posted by LadyNeptune

Why are you eating out at a restaurant if your on such a tight budget?

If your eating out in a group of 6+ then yes, its customary to split the bill equally more or less. Because forcing your server to bring the table that many different bills is a big ask.

The simple solution here is obvi to always bring cash, and smaller bills at that. So you can throw down some paper and be all, yep that covers me. Its when everyone is paying with cards that it gets tricky logistically and easier to just tell the server, split them all up equally.

With POS systems today.. it's not that difficult to split bills.

So, here is the thing about this. I can understand where the OP is coming from. If I go out with a large group, and everyone else eats 2-3 times more than I do, adds expensive items that they end up eating themselves. I am going to have real issue with splitting the bill evenly. There is nothing even in that scenario. I am not going to spend 50+ dollars because other people decided to catch a break on their own wallet. Nope.

However, if it's a 5 to 10 dollar difference, I am not going to really care. Simply because if I have to live within a budget were 5 or 10 dollars is going to cause me to be financially strapped, then I shouldn't have gone out in the first place. That would be hugely financially irresponsible for me.

Now if it is a group of like 4 people? We usually just change off on who pays for the full meals. Or we fight over who gets to pay for everyone. That's how it normally goes with my friends.