Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
You can bitch all you want about superficiality, but superficial talk is necessary if you want to break the ice and get to know someone. You cant just talk to a girl you just met about the meaning of life right from the beginning
All in small doses, thats the best way
Posted by ninjamuPosted by BoomShakalakaBoom
You can bitch all you want about superficiality, but superficial talk is necessary if you want to break the ice and get to know someone. You cant just talk to a girl you just met about the meaning of life right from the beginning
All in small doses, thats the best way
Really? I much prefer that someone want to talk about something deeper and more stimulating than the weather or something. Sure, start off with a "hi" first but I don't do well with small talk. That's when I get bored and walk away.click to expand
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
If someone has a superficial mindset, then isnt it to expect that this person does superficial talk too by default?
You fail to see the link my friend.
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomWell, the point Im trying to make is that it is inevitable, one way or another..whether little or much..small talk/superficial talk does bring connections between people. From that point on it is easier to do the "deeper subjects"
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
You can bitch all you want about superficiality, but superficial talk is necessary if you want to break the ice and get to know someone. You cant just talk to a girl you just met about the meaning of life right from the beginning
All in small doses, thats the best way
Posted by westside
enfant terrible, could you perhaps show us an example of what you mean by superficial?
Posted by aquajPosted by westside
enfant terrible, could you perhaps show us an example of what you mean by superficial?
How was thinking the exact same thing. Define "superficial mindset"?click to expand
Posted by DominOoPosted by AA
Do live up to them MzSag? Do you have ugg boots and a poncho?
must be with 30s style trousers and a rainbow scarf!click to expand
Posted by MzSagittarius
Posted by enfant_terrible
(2) And this is the most pathetic one. A girlfriend of mine has turned down some really good guys despite that she loved their personality and looks, but couldn't get over some small physical detail that bothered her. And she's looking for "true love". Pfft.
dogs and vampires fighting over you.click to expand
Posted by MzSagittariusPosted by AAPosted by MzSagittarius
Posted by enfant_terrible
(2) And this is the most pathetic one. A girlfriend of mine has turned down some really good guys despite that she loved their personality and looks, but couldn't get over some small physical detail that bothered her. And she's looking for "true love". Pfft.
dogs and vampires fighting over you.
*clears throat* Sorry what?
I KNEW you'd say something about that line. I know'd it. I know'd it.
Y'know, in Twilight... Vampire VS Wolves...
Don't act like you don't know either...click to expand
Posted by MzSagittariusPosted by AAPosted by MzSagittariusPosted by AAPosted by MzSagittarius
Posted by enfant_terrible
(2) And this is the most pathetic one. A girlfriend of mine has turned down some really good guys despite that she loved their personality and looks, but couldn't get over some small physical detail that bothered her. And she's looking for "true love". Pfft.
dogs and vampires fighting over you.
*clears throat* Sorry what?
I KNEW you'd say something about that line. I know'd it. I know'd it.
Y'know, in Twilight... Vampire VS Wolves...
Don't act like you don't know either...
I got it.
It's just your seriousness within it's context in your statement i found funny. Like you were saying Twilight is playing this massive mind fuck with us and trying to manipulate us into thinking it's normal to be bummed by vampires and wolves.
That's exactly what I was trying to say. If you haven't had a vampire and wolf fight over you, maybe you ARE one of those hideous fucks...click to expand
Posted by MzSagittariusPosted by AA
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
are you being serious? Are you seriously saying that that is what the current mindset of these young kids today? You ain't normal if a wear wolf (WHICH DON'T EXIST BTW) isn't fighting over you? Which just so happens to be a Vampire. (WHO ALSO DON'T EXIST).
littleclick to expand
Posted by DominOoPhysical attraction is something that gets me started, it is not something that "keeps me". There is a level of superficiality that shows the level of ignorance someone possesses about the true nature of a person or the Forms in general.
Posted by aliennation
Think of it this way:
You see an "ugly" person, and an attractive person.
You're equally clueless about them. They have equal potential to be what you're looking for. Well, if you can only investigate oneof them, the attractive person has already scored more points, and more importantly, yielded cues that you interpret positively.
To go a step further, let's say the ugly person revealed 1 trait you like. Whereas the pretty person revealed 1 trait you dislike.
Still, that does not even out the score unless the pretty person's negative trait outweighed all her beauty more than the ugly person's good trait outweighed all her ugliness.
By the time enough traits were revealed to even out the score, you've likely moved on elsewhere. Additionally, it'd be pretty extraordinary to have enough traits in succession to accomplish this.
Posted by SatoriFierce
But I think Enfant's point was that as long as someone is paying their own bills and making an honest living, does it matter if the work isn't glamouros? Garbage men make a decent wage but lotsa women have problems dating them.
Posted by DominOoPosted by Awakened
I suppose I'm fairly superficial by your standards. I dress the way I dress not because I'm comfortable, but because it gives me and edge over everyone else that "expressed" themselves. I jealously gaurd my image in all forms because its one very BIG way people pass judgement on you.
I wouldn't date a girl that worked at a factory either. Its not that I can't spot a good person, but my dreams/goals require money and I really can't afford to be with a person where I have to "pick-up the slack."
At the end of the day, if you're at work, school...in public, you're in an arena and there is a game to be played. Individual people cannot redefine the rules without being subject to the consequences. For example, if someone is wearing a trench coat and black jeans...they will be labeled a certain way. If a guy/girl is in their 30's and delivering pizzas, they will be judged and most likely it won't be favorable. If said person is operating within the sphere of what they want, great. Just pointing out the obvious...
Well, dressing for displaying "who you are" is not necessarily superficial. There are elements to "playing the role" in what you wear. Not wanting to be judged in a sense of someone who you aren't is something that I also won't consider to be superficial. But based on the definition of superficiality, I can't really say what makes someone superficial or not. The diction is way too general and can easily be misrepresented.click to expand
Posted by SatoriFierce
Well, if a person is that focused on superficialities it's usually just a symptom of much deeper issues at hand.
Like on that show Millionaire MatchMaker. Patty gets to the root of the insecurity of the nitpicky superficial clients who can never find anyone good enough. As wealthy people, a lot of them are in the spotlight, social climbers, and very image conscious. A lot of them were not born with wealth so they believe that their lives are works in progress and they are on their way to making everything perfect. They see their partners too much as reflections of themselves and are too afraid of what others think. A lot of them are arrogant due to their success and are blind or in denial to their own shortcomings and never stop searching for a perfect ideal that of course, doesn't exist.
Posted by Awakened
I suppose I'm fairly superficial by your standards. [...] I wouldn't date a girl that worked at a factory either. Its not that I can't spot a good person, but my dreams/goals require money and I really can't afford to be with a person where I have to "pick-up the slack."
Posted by SatoriFiercePosted by AwakenedPosted by SatoriFierce
Well, if a person is that focused on superficialities it's usually just a symptom of much deeper issues at hand.
Like on that show Millionaire MatchMaker. Patty gets to the root of the insecurity of the nitpicky superficial clients who can never find anyone good enough. As wealthy people, a lot of them are in the spotlight, social climbers, and very image conscious. A lot of them were not born with wealth so they believe that their lives are works in progress and they are on their way to making everything perfect. They see their partners too much as reflections of themselves and are too afraid of what others think. A lot of them are arrogant due to their success and are blind or in denial to their own shortcomings and never stop searching for a perfect ideal that of course, doesn't exist.
A sweeping assessment, don't you think? I grew up on food stamps and am by all means, "hungry." But that doesn't mean I have some deep insecurities, rather I understand an empty stomach and not having "enough." I still wouldn't date someone that had financial aspirations. If they were doing what they loved and it paid little? Great, but that's not the person for me. You could say that like attracts like in this regard. Superficial? Maybe, but perspective does matter.
I was talking about the people on the show who are nitpicky specifically, noone else. jesus.
But you're money conscious and you want to be comfortable and not have to ever struggle again. I get that.
I already said that everyone should carry their own weight. Garbage men and plumbers make a decent wage and many have pensions, 401ks. With their income they could do better by investing too. It just ain't glamourous and some people are bothered by it.
click to expand
Posted by enfant_terriblePosted by Awakened
I suppose I'm fairly superficial by your standards. [...] I wouldn't date a girl that worked at a factory either. Its not that I can't spot a good person, but my dreams/goals require money and I really can't afford to be with a person where I have to "pick-up the slack."
Indeed, you're as supeficial as they come. And I don't know what kind of factories they have where you come from, but here a person can make a decent living working in a factory. In fact, they have higher salaries than the teachers... despite that teachers spend 4-5 year in collage!
click to expand
Posted by aliennationPosted by enfant_terrible
@ alienation, what Satori said...... I don't understand where your radar is picking up double standards. I don't expect from others something that they cannot expect from me.
Posted by SatoriFierce
But I think Enfant's point was that as long as someone is paying their own bills and making an honest living, does it matter if the work isn't glamouros? Garbage men make a decent wage but lotsa women have problems dating them.
I was referring more to physical attraction.click to expand
Posted by aliennation
So how is that not superficial? How can you fault someone for rejecting someone based on a single trait, if you'd reject someone for equally superficial traits?
Posted by SatoriFierce
Of course we all have preferences and types, but I think the question is, would you deviate from them if you really loved someone? People who are superficial probably wouldn't.
Posted by ReinDeer
I was quoting on AA`s post.
"Young teenage girls all looking the same. Sorry love, but red hair just doesn't you. Having one type of preference in girls is just so shallow and boring."
^^^This. Why to care about what other people are wearing?
What`s wrong with dressing like all other people? I know I`m still different from anyone,so I don`t need so called "Classy" clothes to make myself feel better or different or anything.
Posted by Claro de LunaPosted by SatoriFierce
Of course we all have preferences and types, but I think the question is, would you deviate from them if you really loved someone? People who are superficial probably wouldn't.
Yes, because love isn't superficial. I think that regardless of how superficial you are you will be likely to deviate for love. But the more superficial a person, if they are stuck enough in their superficial ways, the less likely it is that they are able to love .. at least as deeply.
You don't love a person unless you accept who they are inside and out, through thick and thin and carry on loving them when their appearance changes. If a change in someone's appearance changes the way you feel towards them, then it is not the person you loved, but merely their shell and the way your mind perceived it .. possibly in some twisted way as a reflection of yourself or the way you feel about yourself in some way or another.click to expand
Posted by MzSagittariusPosted by enfant_terrible
(1) Ok, you're this woman. You meet a guy who's working on an assembly line in some factory or a waitor at a restaurant or some other "dead-end" job. You really like him and the two of you hit it off from the start, but you can't get over the fact that he has no other ambitiouns when it comes to his professional life, while you on the other hand are studying to be a lawyer. He's happy with the way it is because he doesen't live for his work, he works to live. On his spare time he has a lot of hobbies, he likes to travel etc... let's just say he isn't the kind of guy who spends his time between the assembly line and the tv-set. He likes doing stuff, yet you can't get over the fact that he works in a factory.
My question is, why do you give a fuck where he works if he's making his own money? Ambitiouns in life aren't about where you work, it's about where you find YOUR happiness. Some find it through their work, they are lucky that way... others find it on their spare time through various activities.
Yes, you're right. HOWEVER, not everyone thinks like that. Like you and I both mentioned, its the society has conditioned the weaker characters. We're all supposed to go to college, have these big time careers, spend our money on a big house and fancy cars. Y'know, live the "American Dream"... By you, not really YOU, working at a dead-end job, it appears that you have no intentions of advancing yourself, and let's be realistic, if a woman didn't like where you were working, she probably wouldn't stick around long enough to get to know you. Some people are too impatient. No one values loyalty and friendship, it doesn't pay the bills.click to expand
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