What if...?

What if your 'Twin Flame' or 'Soul Mate', whom you have been but spending a lifetime searching/waiting/impending for, walks into your life, unexpectedly, but there is a catch, you are already married, to someone else?

Posted by Sagtastic1
Jeez, that is a hard question with an easy answer. I would already be married to him because he was my soul mate.

To entertain the actual situation.......I have no clue. I think I would leave my husband, but then again, I would stay because I made the commitment

Unfortunately, that would be the easy response except, many whom believed themselves married to their soul mate, realize they were not. If it were thus formulated, would every one not already be happily relishing their marriages, which as the case is shown in the world around us, is hardly true.

Anyways, it was an hypothetical question.

Posted by ellessque

Posted by Neurotoxin
If you were happily married, would you even know this other person was your soul mate?

DING! DING! DING!

Houston, we have a correct answer!

click to expand

Case in point, not everyone is or will be happily married.

Posted by Poisson
I think (it was) Sneaky had a thread about this in the Cancer forum some time ago... And MellyMel linked a radio show with that exact situtation with real people. The responses were actually interesting. It was a good thread.

Really? Well, one have not read the thread before so here it is, anyways, more discussion one hopes 🙂

Soul-mates are on the same wave length. One as the other, and you know them 'forever'.

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
What if your 'Twin Flame' or 'Soul Mate',

In the general interest of mental/emotional health, it's probably best to keep clear of such labels altogether and attribute as little meaning to them as possible.

click to expand

lol, probably 😛

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
What if your 'Twin Flame' or 'Soul Mate',

In the general interest of mental/emotional health, it's probably best to keep clear of such labels altogether and attribute as little meaning to them as possible.

click to expand

Agreed.

Posted by tiziani
I thought you had read the Sneaky thread because the wording is like deja vu. Although the catch doesn't really make sense.

Admittedly, I have read a proposed article on this and other possible prepositions some time ago, but left it in the back of my mind, never having had created a thread.

Catch being, one is committed, to another individual, so do you hurt one to be with another happy, or...? and so forth, there could be many possibilities spelling from this?

Posted by Poisson
Am I the only one who thinks "Twin Flame" sounds like some kind of gay reference.. or am I just that immature?

Your that immature 🙂

There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it. - Dostoyevsky

🙂

Posted by tiziani
I can only give my original answer to Sneaky's thread. I don't think we're restricted to just one soul mate this lifetime (incidentally I have no real idea what a twin flame is and yes I have read about it).

Being soulmates isn't a prerequisite for marriage to me, so it wouldn't be a conflict of interest. If you find a soulmate that's a cool experience but it's just one aspect of a relationship with someone. There is more to life than merely that.

That is my thinking as well, one meets many various soul mates in one lifetime and no, one is not meant to marry them but could possibly loved or have had a relationship with them. On the other hand, a twin flame is another matter. One may love a twin flame, that is the interconnected whole that was missing when our souls were 'reborn' within our current bodies.

Soul mates are ones, the individuals whom come into our lives to teach us lessons, not to last nor stay for infinity. Hence why I wrote both terms, since others may have deferring views upon the concept.

Posted by Wynter
There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it. - Dostoyevsky

🙂

One does enjoy Dostoyevsky and very true indeed. He was a Scorpio as well —

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
What if your 'Twin Flame' or 'Soul Mate',

In the general interest of mental/emotional health, it's probably best to keep clear of such labels altogether and attribute as little meaning to them as possible.

click to expand

Simply working upon expanding the mind, to see how many realms one could reach, one does not have to believe but one can entertain, instead of sitting around ignorant. Besides dear seraph, there will always be labels for many things in life, it depends upon how one deals with them.

Posted by djbuck1

Posted by Neurotoxin
If you were happily married, would you even know this other person was your soul mate?

The operative word here is "happily."

click to expand

+ 1

Posted by tiziani
I've only had one soulmate so far and I'm not too bothered about any lessons that may have arisen out of that for us. I know Eat, Pray, Love says there has to be a reason but just sounds like a lot of stress to me.

Why do you see it as stress? We all learn from others, that is what we do when we meet individuals on our journey, now there are those whom may resonate more so with our core then others, and yes, the label fo Soul Mate is thus tagged on.

Have you never gone through any difficult mountain of challenges which have to be overcome, in order to forge forward in life?

You will meet individuals that may be your own mirror, with the exception, they may reveal to you, blind-spots which you have missed entirely yourself, are you not, going to re-evaluate such experiences, or you would rather let it die in the dust?

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
What if your 'Twin Flame' or 'Soul Mate',

In the general interest of mental/emotional health, it's probably best to keep clear of such labels altogether and attribute as little meaning to them as possible.

Simply working upon expanding the mind, to see how many realms one could reach, one does not have to believe but one can entertain, instead of sitting around ignorant. Besides dear seraph, there will always be labels for many things in life, it depends upon how one deals with them.

All you'd be doing is finding ways to legitimize a mind-fuck you probably shouldn't be having, and which is probably due at least in part to what you're attributing to a label, without which your brain-hump wouldn't have even gotten to the first thrust.

50% of the problem is our tendency to "entertain" a bad idea by building up its brand-name du jour.

Yes, you can "entertain" all kinds of things. Sure, why not. But tread carefully.

click to expand

Huh?

It is for the sake of discussion. Relax. My mind is in the right place, one entertains a plethora of ideas, even very strange out there ideas but that is ones mind traveling, gee, not doing nor pursuing! That in itself is a very big difference.

One does not need to tread carefully if one sees it as mere conversation, which this is. One is not searching for answers nor a belief 🙂

More like love triangle. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by tiziani
I've only had one soulmate so far and I'm not too bothered about any lessons that may have arisen out of that for us. I know Eat, Pray, Love says there has to be a reason but just sounds like a lot of stress to me.

Why do you see it as stress? We all learn from others, that is what we do when we meet individuals on our journey, now there are those whom may resonate more so with our core then others, and yes, the label fo Soul Mate is thus tagged on.

Have you never gone through any difficult mountain of challenges which have to be overcome, in order to forge forward in life?

You will meet individuals that may be your own mirror, with the exception, they may reveal to you, blind-spots which you have missed entirely yourself, are you not, going to re-evaluate such experiences, or you would rather let it die in the dust?

I'd rather let it die. We've had this conversation a couple of times now and it is indeed stressful for me to assign a reason to everything. I have enough purpose to find in the present, without doing the same for the past or future. Some things for me are healthier just to let go and be happy for who I am today. No matter how big the mountain was, it's behind me and there's an even bigger mountain to get to climbing next.

click to expand

One was not comparing this to clinging and hanging unto the past. Also one was not referring entirely to individuals that one meets through romantic love, for this could also be manifested in platonic love (though differing from the original topic but that does not matter).

It is not assigning a reason, but understanding events, things happen for a reason, we make mistakes, we are meant to evaluate them and learn. Not sitting duck, time and again, making them same mistakes over and over. One cannot merely dust them off, put it as history and never learn, I mean one can, then that is but an experience entirely wasted. It is about using the past, experience, to enable one to move forward wisely. That is standing in the present, whilst having both hands outreached on either spectrum, to facilitate our best possible pathways forward, instead of a blind eye.

Posted by xygeneration

Posted by geminicandle
What about being in love with or loving two people at once?

I think it's possible. Loving them for different reasons.

There's more than one soul/twin for everyone.

click to expand

lol, Geminis

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

My mind is in the right place, one entertains a plethora of ideas,

I'd say the leather-and-whips ones are potentially much healthier. 😉

click to expand

There is no healthy or unhealthy options, one must explore all, to know maybe a little. Better open-minded to absorbing information, to decipher and use as one own than to block off, what is supposed unhealthy. No discrimination (as much as within my capabilities) is ones policy.


As for leather-and-whips, you still have not earned your plate of milk yet 😉

Posted by xygeneration

Posted by geminicandle
What about being in love with or loving two people at once?

I think it's possible. Loving them for different reasons.

There's more than one soul/twin for everyone.

click to expand

More than one soul mate, absolutely. Though only one twin for each soul.

/asthedefinitiongoes

Posted by geminicandle
I don't know about you guys, but I am often in love with more than one.

Like I said, love for different reasons.

Hmm, that could be a possibility, not that it should occur often though.

Love cannot be restricted nor constricted, the heart will love whom it loves, so what is it for one to say to another, you cannot love more than one because so and so deems it so.

*shrugs*

Still on the ledge on this one though, have yet to formulate a concrete opinion.

Posted by Poisson
Dude... can't I just be with someone who's also my best friend and shit. I don't need my significant other to gestate in the same spiritual fucking womb as me. A BF and a BFF, all in one. That's it.

You can, but how many actually do? actually manifest this in reality? very few?

Posted by tiziani
I don't understand the distinction between assigning or understanding a reason TLS. Yes I agree it's import to learn from mistakes but once they are understood, life goes on. I don't hold onto what I've understood, I just forget it. It's probably somewhere in there as second nature now. For me it's good to follow instincts.

Simply different ways of using experiences then, one cannot and will not say you are right or one wrong, or vice versa because every individual have their own ways of coping. Yes, my point was never about life not moving forward, it was about moving forward with experience and not ignorance, ditching the past, as history, discarded as waste.

Agree to disagree then, variant possibilities in processes.

Posted by seraph

Posted by Poisson
Dude... can't I just be with someone who's also my best friend and shit. I don't need my significant other to gestate in the same spiritual fucking womb as me. A BF and a BFF, all in one. That's it.

There aren't any particularly marketable labels for that.

click to expand

A Stepford Husband? A perfect all-in-one package, come with a pearly white smile.

/cheeks

Posted by tw1nk1e
I will marry someone I don't want to leave or else I won't marry at all.

One thinks, nearly everyone would agree but people change, mistakes are made, then what?

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by seraph

Posted by Poisson
Dude... can't I just be with someone who's also my best friend and shit. I don't need my significant other to gestate in the same spiritual fucking womb as me. A BF and a BFF, all in one. That's it.

There aren't any particularly marketable labels for that.

A Stepford Husband? A perfect all-in-one package, come with a pearly white smile.

/cheeks

But they can't *all* be Leo men, my dear.

click to expand

Clone your species 😉

Gene Kelly would set as one Leo examplar...

Well, this question was hardly a matter of labels but meeting that one individual whom resonates more. One could tag whatever label one should unto it (but one had to choose one or two, so we could get the topic off the ground), but it still stands, such cases do occur.

Therefore what would you do?

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Poisson
I believe that these labels puts a lot of pressure on the relationship... or not even the relationship, but the the people themselves. It's like getting you boyfriend's name tattoo'd on your crotch... it's like an omen and just asking for trouble.

I think the same way as your last post but I used words all the time. I suppose maybe I should be forthcoming with them or make sure on both sides it's understood words aren't the be all and end all. I mean if people fail on the basic stuff like actually being supportive, not being a brat, etc. then they can be all of the soulmate they want to be. It's not gonna save anything in the real world.

click to expand

Words are not the be all or end all, the question was not about words at all tiz, it was in regards to meeting that other individual, be it what ever you should call it. It happens, turd do fall from the skies at times, life simply is not black and white, as much as one would like it to be, as much as even I would like it to be.

Posted by Poisson

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Poisson
I believe that these labels puts a lot of pressure on the relationship... or not even the relationship, but the the people themselves. It's like getting you boyfriend's name tattoo'd on your crotch... it's like an omen and just asking for trouble.

I think the same way as your last post but I used words all the time. I suppose maybe I should be forthcoming with them or make sure on both sides it's understood words aren't the be all and end all. I mean if people fail on the basic stuff like actually being supportive, not being a brat, etc. then they can be all of the soulmate they want to be. It's not gonna save anything in the real world.

There are some people that LOOOVVEEE that kind of conflict in their relationships... so when they find someone who will give them that excitement and stamp "Soul mate" on their forehead, then turns out that those qualities aren't so hot for the relationship after all... well, what do you do then?

click to expand

Agreed, there are many individuals within the spectrum. Yes, one of those would be the type you have mentioned. Yes, individuals make mistakes but they also make mistake within marriages itself, thinking that was their permanent whole, to share ones journey with. Well, people grow, change, develope and turd falls, so then what do you do? Stay in an unhappy commitment and let it grow sour, or move on knowing that this is the correct move, it happens.

Why must one discriminate against those that do meet individuals after marriage, are they all daft, stupid, and idiotic because they do? They are not all fools, though the majority may be, but not all.

Posted by Poisson

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Well, this question was hardly a matter of labels but meeting that one individual whom resonates more. One could tag whatever label one should unto it (but one had to choose one or two, so we could get the topic off the ground), but it still stands, such cases do occur.

Therefore what would you do?

I'd go home, give my husband a kiss and thank him for being a kind, supportive man... and tell that other guy to bark at a different tree.

click to expand

Fair enough, that was what one was searching for, what you would do in such a circumstances. So you would choose commitment, rather than anything else. Nothing wrong with that, there is no right or wrong answer 🙂

Considering you're simply a lesbian in a man's body, I could see it working 🙂

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Poisson

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Poisson
I believe that these labels puts a lot of pressure on the relationship... or not even the relationship, but the the people themselves. It's like getting you boyfriend's name tattoo'd on your crotch... it's like an omen and just asking for trouble.

I think the same way as your last post but I used words all the time. I suppose maybe I should be forthcoming with them or make sure on both sides it's understood words aren't the be all and end all. I mean if people fail on the basic stuff like actually being supportive, not being a brat, etc. then they can be all of the soulmate they want to be. It's not gonna save anything in the real world.

There are some people that LOOOVVEEE that kind of conflict in their relationships... so when they find someone who will give them that excitement and stamp "Soul mate" on their forehead, then turns out that those qualities aren't so hot for the relationship after all... well, what do you do then?

Yep, I think the term drama queens and kings was reserved for them. They can make one another happy by being with each other too. Both get what they want out of it.

I am not even being facetious or judging to that extent. Some people legitimately only find emotional security in drama and seeing their relationship one inch away from a car crash at all times. It's probably best to be transparent and accepting of that within themselves, so they at least have the chance to find the right partner to give them that and be happy doing so.

click to expand

If one much tag labels to one group why does it give one the right to tag labels to another group? Is that not entirely hypocritical?

Words are only words as you say and not everything, so why the discrimination on one party? Labeling so in, and what you may describe may come across in a negative light, why must those individuals be have a negatively con-notated label tacked unto their foreheads.

One is not saying either is right but why must one shove one side of the spectrum under the bus, so one can stand on the other side with the halo?

Posted by kraft
what if my soul mate is a lesbian?

😢

Then you, my dear, am utterly screwed.

/sarcasm

welcome back btw!

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by seraph

Posted by Poisson
Dude... can't I just be with someone who's also my best friend and shit. I don't need my significant other to gestate in the same spiritual fucking womb as me. A BF and a BFF, all in one. That's it.

There aren't any particularly marketable labels for that.

A Stepford Husband? A perfect all-in-one package, come with a pearly white smile.

/cheeks

But they can't *all* be Leo men, my dear.

Clone your species 😉

Gene Kelly would set as one Leo examplar...

Oh there's plenty.

Just be daring.








And bring your toys.

click to expand

My toys, for...? Which side of the games, would Lions roots for 😛

root*

Posted by tiziani
My answer is I wouldn't do anything. Just don't see the problem.

Fair enough. So you would choose to let it pass you by.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Poisson
Dude... can't I just be with someone who's also my best friend and shit. I don't need my significant other to gestate in the same spiritual fucking womb as me. A BF and a BFF, all in one. That's it.

You can, but how many actually do? actually manifest this in reality? very few?

click to expand

Hmm, I'd say if an Aquarius actually get's married this would be how it is at least from their perspective.
😉

Look unless there ARE PROBLEMS and it's unhealthy marriage or w/e it is you have going with someone... this whole topic is just stupid because it really is not fair to the other person in anyway shape or form. How would you feel dear Scorpio to have the script flipped on yourself?

Posted by tiziani
All I said was I wouldn't personally go about labelling my past or future. I don't label people personally known to me as drama kings or queens to understand my experience with them, even if they would be well suited to fit that description. They are still people personally known to me with first names and everything.


Drama king or queen isn't a negative label to me since it's actually very popular of a life style to live. It's what gets people laid and sells movies, books. It is what it is. I can't control people's perceptions of that but I can acknowledge the reality of what makes people I care about happy. If someone loves drama, I encourage them to be around others than can provide that. It's only logical.

Labels and names are two things entirely dear, I know that, there is no need to mix the two, there are not correlated in the subject at hand.

Simply pointing out, where you were quick to dismiss soulmates/twin flame concept (not that one must believe it but at least be indiscriminate enough to let it be) yet you are quick enough to gather upon another concept, waving it as it were a shining light. Neither concept is right or wrong but being discriminate without foreseeing the entire spectrum is closing oneself off entirely. That is the worse of worst straddles, sit still somewhere and be firm, not phaffing about, please.

It would be entirely logical, to survey all possibilities and see them as possibilities and not dismiss/judge/or whatever one calls it, immediately, without furthering divulging on the circumstances, quick to jump but too late to realize it was fire. At least see, contemplate before dousing ones opinions 🙂

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Look unless there ARE PROBLEMS and it's unhealthy marriage or w/e it is you have going with someone... this whole topic is just stupid because it really is not fair to the other person in anyway shape or form. How would you feel dear Scorpio to have the script flipped on yourself?

It was a hypothetical question, therefore one searches to see how many possibilities there are, there are no distinct conclusions though. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking questions, better to ask and perhaps learn, than to never ask at all, keeping silent reaps no knowledge 🙂

Life is not fair, but are we to judge others because it is so?

If the script was flipped, I would tell my significant other to go, even if it were to kill me because it eventually will anyhow, I would hate to see my half alive significant other with me, and pulling them, keeping them close over a commitment when sometimes one must set the bird free, even if it pains. Who would it be to say, maybe I would not find my real other whole after the entire episode, to share life with after such catharsis? Maybe there would be a second chance, who knows?

Posted by Poisson
I think the whole hoopla about these labels is that if you take them away, it's just another lusty affair. You take away the romanticized notion and strip it to its bones, and you get: cheating.

Then that is simply more labels to add, categorizing situations as black or white. Who is it to say it must be lust, it happens, people will at times meet another whom is more compatible than their husband/wife. Therefore what would the choice be?

It is rarely thus simple, or why do you suppose there is such messes of marriages happening all over, and these involve individuals who are sane with well screwed on heads as well.

Posted by feby16aqua
Sounds like a lot of drama. I say I like it simple, but alas...lol

Feby, one whole heartedly agrees but turd do fall from the skies, it happens. Even when one but RUN, as soon as one senses drama, which one abhors, sometimes not everything is within our control and we end up dumped upon a situation, or worst stuck in one by circumstances.

Posted by feby16aqua

Posted by TheLadyScorpio


Then that is simply more labels to add, categorizing situations as black or white. Who is it to say it must be lust, it happens, people will at times meet another whom is more compatible than their husband/wife. Therefore what would the choice be?

It is rarely thus simple, or why do you suppose there is such messes of marriages happening all over, and these involve individuals who are sane with well screwed on heads as well.

Yes, but you can't erase the years you spend with someone. Those are dues you put in, time you spend building with each other full spectrum. You intertwine your lives together. No flash in the pan is going to change or take away any of that.

click to expand

Exactly, because when you meet this more compatible individual, which people do (not a case of a lusty/hormonal event but a sleepy side of oneself that is finally discovered, it happens) what ever should happen or not happen, the marriage will be affected. All these years, with two individuals whom built this foundations of a commitment, this one event may unravel things, some may be able to move past it and let it go, others may see it as a long awaiting breeze of fresh air to find their own happiness.

Are we quick to judge that, we could hardly be like so, no? Why else would divorces be thus complicated, there are a multitude of factors on hand?

Posted by seraph

Posted by feby16aqua

Posted by TheLadyScorpio


Feby, one whole heartedly agrees but turd do fall from the skies, it happens. Even when one but RUN, as soon as one senses drama, which one abhors, sometimes not everything is within our control and we end up dumped upon a situation, or worst stuck in one by circumstances.

The first 6 months you meet the representative lol. Then after that you can see what's really going on.

Very well put.

click to expand

Sure, why not?

The hypothetical question did not state a time frame, so then after the six month prerogative, and proven that individual is sincerely more compatible, then what?

One is not looking at either sides idealistically, marriages are not perfect, it can unravel, what choices do one make?

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Poisson
I think the whole hoopla about these labels is that if you take them away, it's just another lusty affair. You take away the romanticized notion and strip it to its bones, and you get: cheating.

Then that is simply more labels to add, categorizing situations as black or white. Who is it to say it must be lust, it happens, people will at times meet another whom is more compatible than their husband/wife. Therefore what would the choice be?

Boundaries.

They're what prevents you from acting on (often disastrously) a passing infatuation (which your boundaries tell you to just let sit to see if it *is* that.)

You at least put yourself in a rational place before you decide to get a building permit for that castle in the sky.

click to expand

Ay, seraph. This hypothetical is not about myself, it is a case. As written above, one never gave a time frame, in regards to the other individual, maybe this could have occurred during a few years, then what?

It may not be a castle in the sky, people change, perhaps after ten years of marriage (for example), the husband and wife found themselves changed, grown in life, verging on different pathways, with such differences that they may no longer be compatible, so if one meets another that truly is, is that idealistic? That is hardly so, it is being efficient and logical, one makes a choice.

(One already address the idiocy of jumping in infatuation/lust/hormonal affairs, and my opinion on boundaries are exactly as yours. But there are more parties of individuals existing than those proposed.)

By the way tiz, Feby and seraph...I am hardly angry here, merely in discussion mode. So if it comes across that way, my apologies 😛

Still love you lot, do not kill me just yet —

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by seraph

Posted by feby16aqua

Posted by TheLadyScorpio


Feby, one whole heartedly agrees but turd do fall from the skies, it happens. Even when one but RUN, as soon as one senses drama, which one abhors, sometimes not everything is within our control and we end up dumped upon a situation, or worst stuck in one by circumstances.

The first 6 months you meet the representative lol. Then after that you can see what's really going on.

Very well put.

Sure, why not?

The hypothetical question did not state a time frame, so then after the six month prerogative, and proven that individual is sincerely more compatible, then what?

You're looking for a solution to a problem that doesn't necessarily need to be there.

Then what? You tell me, TLS. I can't answer that. Make better choices? Know yourself FIRST?

The more you play around with hypotheticals, the more flummoxed you'll get. Cross those bridges if and when you ever get to them. In the meantime, keep your boundaries straight. Chances are, you'll be able to filter out these kinds of dilemmas before they even enter your field of vision.

click to expand

My boundaries are straight, this is discussion on a case why must I personalise it, for what?


Personally speaking, I would agree with the bold, my perception would cipher it out but...let me play Devil's Advocate for a moment will you 😄

/cheeks

Posted by tw1nk1e
Maybe it's my naive Sagittarius Moon, but I think that it's sad to go into a marriage assuming it could be something temporary.

Not assuming, one could go in with all the faith in the world, and many do, but life happens, some stay and stick around, others realize, it simply may no longer work.