rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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What is the purpose of a relationship?
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@rockyroadicecream I know this does not hold much relation to the topic at hand but to soothe my curiosity....
Where does all the odium towards Libra stem from?
I don't particularly refer to this post alone but I notice it a lot in your replies regarding Libra overall.
Where does all the odium towards Libra stem from?
I don't particularly refer to this post alone but I notice it a lot in your replies regarding Libra overall.
Posted by Arielle83Perhaps some do. The Libra I know don't seem to do this. I think we tread on dangerous ground when we apply stereotypical traits to sun signs.
Cuz libras validate themselves through other people and an Aries is too independent for that needy shizz
As much as saying Aries are independent some are not. My ex comes to mind when I say he was independent in certain areas of his life only. To this day he will still call and ask for help doing the most basic things. Bearing in mind I don't mind "helping" only by the fact that he is the father of my kids, otherwise he would have been left to his own devices.
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
*sigh*
This wasn't about Libras.
This is why I don't freaking start threads here. People fixate on the stupidest shit and never really respond to the actual topic.
This wasn't about Libras.
This is why I don't freaking start threads here. People fixate on the stupidest shit and never really respond to the actual topic.
Posted by jeaneAgreed.
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
And maybe that's how she might view it and maybe worded it poorly. I dunno.
I asked because it's not just her, but given the route society is going, it seems as if a lot of people are growing less dependent considering nobody is expected to actually grow up. Grow up, get with someone to take care of you!
Then there's the group who notoriously get off on "taking care" of the other person.
Both of which are really wonky and end up with a lot of dysfunction later on.
Nevermind all the shining examples we come across on DXP as well. Men and women alike take on relationships because they want to treat it as if it's therapy. "OOH I CAN FIX/SAVE THEM!!"
Good lord, wtf is wrong with people? :/
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.
She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
For me relationships are when you are looking for companionship long term. You want someone to share with and more importantly fuck on a regular. I been single for a while and while I am currently hooking up with a taken woman we have a friendship at the end of it all. That's more important than the actual sex because we have fun together and I can open up to her about whatever I want and vice versa. I still keep my eyes open to actually available prospects but with me working on a business I can commit to anyone
Posted by Arielle83I meant "here" as in all of DXP.Posted by rockyroadicecreamYa I was wondering if it was in the libra thread, but no
*sigh*
This wasn't about Libras.
This is why I don't freaking start threads here. People fixate on the stupidest shit and never really respond to the actual topic.click to expand
Once in a blue moon, I feel compelled to try to start some sort of general discussion about whatever and as usual, some moron derails the whole thing over something trivial and unrelated.
But it's DXP. I shouldn't be surprised. I just forget since I don't do it all that often.
The only reason I pointed out her sign is one, you know SOMEONE would ask what her sign is, and two, just pointing out perspective because you have two opposite signs and it could very well be why we just do not see eye to eye. We always agree to disagree, but I was highly disturbed by the mentality of "well if someone is good with being single, they shouldn't be in a relationship."
Are you shitting me? Jfc. Please tell me that it's just an insanely small percentage that thinks like this.... :/
Posted by CobycoPosted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.
She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
For me relationships are when you are looking for companionship long term. You want someone to share with and more importantly fuck on a regular. I been single for a while and while I am currently hooking up with a taken woman we have a friendship at the end of it all. That's more important than the actual sex because we have fun together and I can open up to her about whatever I want and vice versa. I still keep my eyes open to actually available prospects but with me working on a business I can commit to anyone
click to expand
lol "fuck on the regular."
Yes, major bonus that one haha.
COMPANIONSHIP AND TEH SECKS. Fook yeah. Life is complete.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by jeaneAgreed.
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
And maybe that's how she might view it and maybe worded it poorly. I dunno.
I asked because it's not just her, but given the route society is going, it seems as if a lot of people are growing less dependent considering nobody is expected to actually grow up. Grow up, get with someone to take care of you!
Then there's the group who notoriously get off on "taking care" of the other person.
Both of which are really wonky and end up with a lot of dysfunction later on.
Nevermind all the shining examples we come across on DXP as well. Men and women alike take on relationships because they want to treat it as if it's therapy. "OOH I CAN FIX/SAVE THEM!!"
Good lord, wtf is wrong with people? :/click to expand
I agree. There ain't no way I'm dealing with a woman who ain't got her shit together. I can't go backward when it took me 31 years to get to where I am now. Which is living at a basic level.
Posted by CobycoRight?Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by jeaneAgreed.
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
And maybe that's how she might view it and maybe worded it poorly. I dunno.
I asked because it's not just her, but given the route society is going, it seems as if a lot of people are growing less dependent considering nobody is expected to actually grow up. Grow up, get with someone to take care of you!
Then there's the group who notoriously get off on "taking care" of the other person.
Both of which are really wonky and end up with a lot of dysfunction later on.
Nevermind all the shining examples we come across on DXP as well. Men and women alike take on relationships because they want to treat it as if it's therapy. "OOH I CAN FIX/SAVE THEM!!"
Good lord, wtf is wrong with people? :/
I agree. There ain't no way I'm dealing with a woman who ain't got her shit together. I can't go backward when it took me 31 years to get to where I am now. Which is living at a basic level.
click to expand
It's just such a foreign concept to me to burden someone with something like that. Life's difficult enough as it is. Why would you want to bring someone into it who would just weigh you down? Why would you be a big enough douche to weigh someone else down?
This is probably why dating is such a shit show in itself- a lot of people running around, using relationships as bandaids for personal problems.
Posted by Arielle83The big question is, how common is this? Is this why dating is such a clusterfuck? Society has bred a lot of insecure twats who go around fucking with other people because of their own personal problems?
Some ppl want to feel needed by their partner, but that can drag you down over time.
They lose themselves trying to please.
They aren't good single because they're used to losing their identity for someone else.
When they're single, they feel unimportant.
They have no purpose
They lost their purpose when they decided they can't handle being single.
Another human becomes their extension.
Theyre codependent.
Need someone, so they don't lean on themselves.
It's all a really anxious reality
Posted by rockyroadicecreami'm too lazy to try and fix someone. i'm of the path of least resistance and just go for someone with an acceptable level of baggage. god knows, that is what i am hoping to attract. who needs someone to try to fix them? accept my hang ups and let's go on with this thing.Posted by jeaneAgreed.
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
And maybe that's how she might view it and maybe worded it poorly. I dunno.
I asked because it's not just her, but given the route society is going, it seems as if a lot of people are growing less dependent considering nobody is expected to actually grow up. Grow up, get with someone to take care of you!
Then there's the group who notoriously get off on "taking care" of the other person.
Both of which are really wonky and end up with a lot of dysfunction later on.
Nevermind all the shining examples we come across on DXP as well. Men and women alike take on relationships because they want to treat it as if it's therapy. "OOH I CAN FIX/SAVE THEM!!"
Good lord, wtf is wrong with people? :/click to expand
Posted by rockyroadicecreami think that's a bizarre way of thinking. it's like saying if you like eating ice cream, you shouldn't have it with syrup. yes ice cream is great but syrup makes it better.
We always agree to disagree, but I was highly disturbed by the mentality of "well if someone is good with being single, they shouldn't be in a relationship."
Are you shitting me? Jfc. Please tell me that it's just an insanely small percentage that thinks like this.... :/
Posted by rockyroadicecreamisn't this just a young person's thing? perhaps when you reach middle age, none of that remains a problem.Posted by Arielle83The big question is, how common is this? Is this why dating is such a clusterfuck? Society has bred a lot of insecure twats who go around fucking with other people because of their own personal problems?
Some ppl want to feel needed by their partner, but that can drag you down over time.
They lose themselves trying to please.
They aren't good single because they're used to losing their identity for someone else.
When they're single, they feel unimportant.
They have no purpose
They lost their purpose when they decided they can't handle being single.
Another human becomes their extension.
Theyre codependent.
Need someone, so they don't lean on themselves.
It's all a really anxious realityclick to expand
by that point, aren't you just too old to give a fuck?
Posted by jeaneYou'd think, but I see people my age and older behaving the same way. My 50 year old neighbor does shit like this and it's just total insanity. Someone else who I know who's in his mid 50s was telling me about the insane shit he comes across in dating women around his age and it's just as rampant there too.Posted by rockyroadicecreamisn't this just a young person's thing? perhaps when you reach middle age, none of that remains a problem.Posted by Arielle83The big question is, how common is this? Is this why dating is such a clusterfuck? Society has bred a lot of insecure twats who go around fucking with other people because of their own personal problems?
Some ppl want to feel needed by their partner, but that can drag you down over time.
They lose themselves trying to please.
They aren't good single because they're used to losing their identity for someone else.
When they're single, they feel unimportant.
They have no purpose
They lost their purpose when they decided they can't handle being single.
Another human becomes their extension.
Theyre codependent.
Need someone, so they don't lean on themselves.
It's all a really anxious reality
by that point, aren't you just too old to give a fuck?click to expand
Maybe it boils down to that most people have no fucking idea what they want or what they're doing in life haha.
Imo, the main purpose is to build something togheter.
What both want to build, might depend on the stage of their life.
If *you* see there is nothing more to build togheter..then *you* might be in a bad spot.
What both want to build, might depend on the stage of their life.
If *you* see there is nothing more to build togheter..then *you* might be in a bad spot.
Posted by jeaneSeriously.Posted by rockyroadicecreami'm too lazy to try and fix someone. i'm of the path of least resistance and just go for someone with an acceptable level of baggage. god knows, that is what i am hoping to attract. who needs someone to try to fix them? accept my hang ups and let's go on with this thing.Posted by jeaneAgreed.
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
And maybe that's how she might view it and maybe worded it poorly. I dunno.
I asked because it's not just her, but given the route society is going, it seems as if a lot of people are growing less dependent considering nobody is expected to actually grow up. Grow up, get with someone to take care of you!
Then there's the group who notoriously get off on "taking care" of the other person.
Both of which are really wonky and end up with a lot of dysfunction later on.
Nevermind all the shining examples we come across on DXP as well. Men and women alike take on relationships because they want to treat it as if it's therapy. "OOH I CAN FIX/SAVE THEM!!"
Good lord, wtf is wrong with people? :/click to expand
People have their ups and downs in life and need a hand up, sure, but there are some who just need therapy and medication with the shit they're dealing with. As Arielle said, it just drags all of it down over time.
Overall, it seems as if there is a pretty large group of individuals who view people as "what can they do for me??" and it's seeped into relationships.
I'd say people like that tend to have a "gold digger" mentality. Doesn't necessarily have to be financial gain.
Some people's happiness relies on knowing what they need and what is needed of them by the significant other. Nothing wrong with going about love practically. I dare to say that these people live longer.
The Libra has her issues, as does rockyroad. I hardly think either of their life situations would approve significantly if they shifted perspectives.
My gut feeling tells me that all of you "It'll happen when it happens" people who spend 20 years of your prime single have deep-rooted issues yourselves or surely it would have f ck ing happened.
It's the type of people who substitute a dog's loyalty and "love" for a humans.
The Libra has her issues, as does rockyroad. I hardly think either of their life situations would approve significantly if they shifted perspectives.
My gut feeling tells me that all of you "It'll happen when it happens" people who spend 20 years of your prime single have deep-rooted issues yourselves or surely it would have f ck ing happened.
It's the type of people who substitute a dog's loyalty and "love" for a humans.
Posted by tizianiWhich is why I asked. People have differing views on what they see in a relationship that works for them and there's nothing wrong with that.
I was thinking of how to say what works for me without coming off as dismissive but yeah pretty much what jeane said. By the time you get to your thirties, the idea that people should or shouldn't be in a relationship isn't the point anymore.
You see people who get into relationships with their own unresolved issues and yet somehow it works, and then other times it doesn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm too old to know the answer to your question. Just as long as my family is doing well then that's as good a point as any.
I just thought it was kind of universal that relationships kind of equated "partner in crime" type of thing. If not that, then wtf is it if being a well adjusted individual who is okay with singledom isn't fit for a relationship because they don't NEED THEIR PARTNER omgherd.
I'd like to think there's a big difference between "we're here for eachother and lift eachother up when shit gets real" and "I'm an insecure twat that needs reassuring every other day or I'll wilt up and die. That is my love language!"
Posted by rockyroadicecreamIt's what you and tiz said.Posted by tizianiWhich is why I asked. People have differing views on what they see in a relationship that works for them and there's nothing wrong with that.
I was thinking of how to say what works for me without coming off as dismissive but yeah pretty much what jeane said. By the time you get to your thirties, the idea that people should or shouldn't be in a relationship isn't the point anymore.
You see people who get into relationships with their own unresolved issues and yet somehow it works, and then other times it doesn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm too old to know the answer to your question. Just as long as my family is doing well then that's as good a point as any.
I just thought it was kind of universal that relationships kind of equated "partner in crime" type of thing. If not that, then wtf is it if being a well adjusted individual who is okay with singledom isn't fit for a relationship because they don't NEED THEIR PARTNER omgherd.
I'd like to think there's a big difference between "we're here for eachother and lift eachother up when shit gets real" and "I'm an insecure twat that needs reassuring every other day or I'll wilt up and die. That is my love language!"click to expand
When we hit 30...everything changes...you just can't keep lying to yourself anymore.
Look arround rocky...the far majority of people here are more interested on the fact that they don't want to be single..rather then trying to build something togheter with someone else.
Notice what some say when they fight..they allways throw that card.."at least i am not single.."...makes me cringe to say the least...lol
Building something togheter, also means changing ourselfs togheter when needed...like you just said.
But some people still believe in fairy tales...and some things you can't change...the lying to ourselfs will get us nowhere...
Posted by rockyroadicecreamYou kinda made it about Libras in the first sentence. Unfortunately people would've started asking what her chart is like anyway. Can't be avoided, I'm afraid.
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
*sigh*
This wasn't about Libras.
Having said that, I agree with Arielle. Your friend is a succubus.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by CobycoRight?Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by jeaneAgreed.
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
And maybe that's how she might view it and maybe worded it poorly. I dunno.
I asked because it's not just her, but given the route society is going, it seems as if a lot of people are growing less dependent considering nobody is expected to actually grow up. Grow up, get with someone to take care of you!
Then there's the group who notoriously get off on "taking care" of the other person.
Both of which are really wonky and end up with a lot of dysfunction later on.
Nevermind all the shining examples we come across on DXP as well. Men and women alike take on relationships because they want to treat it as if it's therapy. "OOH I CAN FIX/SAVE THEM!!"
Good lord, wtf is wrong with people? :/
I agree. There ain't no way I'm dealing with a woman who ain't got her shit together. I can't go backward when it took me 31 years to get to where I am now. Which is living at a basic level.
It's just such a foreign concept to me to burden someone with something like that. Life's difficult enough as it is. Why would you want to bring someone into it who would just weigh you down? Why would you be a big enough douche to weigh someone else down?
This is probably why dating is such a shit show in itself- a lot of people running around, using relationships as bandaids for personal problems.click to expand
Exactly! I was in a 5 year relationship and never had the chance to really know what independence felt like so after my break up I tried dating other women and just realized I need me more than inbred them. So finally I cut all ties and focused on myself and it paid off. Now I feel in a position where I just want fun company. I don't want real serious company
The reason for relationship is to learn about ourselves and heal the broken parts
More so with dominant 7th housers/Libras
Aries = me
Libra = we
It took me a few goes to actually get why i was looking for something in someone else that i already had in myself lol, if that makes sense. Nothing worth having is gained from reaching out kind of thing
Having said that, the best thing i ever did was meeting a good man and making a lovely baby together. That is all that matters when i compare all else
It was for me the strongest vehicle to access that deep deep love i had inside of myself
🙂
More so with dominant 7th housers/Libras
Aries = me
Libra = we
It took me a few goes to actually get why i was looking for something in someone else that i already had in myself lol, if that makes sense. Nothing worth having is gained from reaching out kind of thing
Having said that, the best thing i ever did was meeting a good man and making a lovely baby together. That is all that matters when i compare all else
It was for me the strongest vehicle to access that deep deep love i had inside of myself
🙂
I was thinking about this the other morning actually
I think the point of any relationship - rather it be romantic or familial or friend - is simply meant to share your life with another...someone to share your joy and even your pain.
When my anxiety gets high I start thinking about how short life is and what the point is / what will matter in the end......and I always think of my Libra and feel peace because I know that is what will matter in the end...the people I loved and shared my time with.
Think about when you get good news - the first thing you probably do is call a loved one to share so they can be happy with you.
That's the point of relationships to me
I think the point of any relationship - rather it be romantic or familial or friend - is simply meant to share your life with another...someone to share your joy and even your pain.
When my anxiety gets high I start thinking about how short life is and what the point is / what will matter in the end......and I always think of my Libra and feel peace because I know that is what will matter in the end...the people I loved and shared my time with.
Think about when you get good news - the first thing you probably do is call a loved one to share so they can be happy with you.
That's the point of relationships to me
From my personal experience, and the experience of others I know, I think a lot of it comes from habit. In your adolescents we are looking for validation so having a boyfriend or girlfriend signifies to us that we are desirable. The problem occurs when someone continuously does this through out their 20's. So, they have no idea who they are outside of the desire from another. Therefore they continue to chose anyone and end up wondering why nothing is working out. The cycle intensifies and they even more desperately need that other person. If anyone didn't have that cool down period after puberty I find they stay in a cycle. However, friends that had several years in-between relationships in younger years learned their self worth and tend to be adverse to settling or chasing relationships.
You also get the panicked person starting in your 30's, that starts desperately looking for a mate because they feel their clock is ticking. Desperation however is the stinkiest cologne. We often think we are masking that scent but you can smell it from two states over.
I think a mate is meant to be a partner plain and simple. Someone to build and share things with. Kind of like business partners that like to smash. It's about the life sharing much in the way your friends bring you joy.
You also get the panicked person starting in your 30's, that starts desperately looking for a mate because they feel their clock is ticking. Desperation however is the stinkiest cologne. We often think we are masking that scent but you can smell it from two states over.
I think a mate is meant to be a partner plain and simple. Someone to build and share things with. Kind of like business partners that like to smash. It's about the life sharing much in the way your friends bring you joy.
Posted by enfant_terriblei think in my case there is some truth to that but similarly there was truth to the fact that i wasn't prepared to get into a relationship for a relationship sake. i wasn't hiding away in a convent but likewise i wasn't heavily breathing all over tinder either.
My gut feeling tells me that all of you "It'll happen when it happens" people who spend 20 years of your prime single have deep-rooted issues yourselves or surely it would have f ck ing happened.
the men that i came across just didn't inspire me to get into a relationship with them and i wasn't prepared to settle. i have friends who have said to me about their partners, "he'll do. he has his own teeth." and that logic just seemed ludicrous. why should one of the most important people in your life be there because "he's ok"? i wanted to find the best person. if this potential mate wasn't the person who surpasses all others then i was very happy being on my own. i'd rather have nothing than second best.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by jeaneSeriously.Posted by rockyroadicecreami'm too lazy to try and fix someone. i'm of the path of least resistance and just go for someone with an acceptable level of baggage. god knows, that is what i am hoping to attract. who needs someone to try to fix them? accept my hang ups and let's go on with this thing.Posted by jeaneAgreed.
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
And maybe that's how she might view it and maybe worded it poorly. I dunno.
I asked because it's not just her, but given the route society is going, it seems as if a lot of people are growing less dependent considering nobody is expected to actually grow up. Grow up, get with someone to take care of you!
Then there's the group who notoriously get off on "taking care" of the other person.
Both of which are really wonky and end up with a lot of dysfunction later on.
Nevermind all the shining examples we come across on DXP as well. Men and women alike take on relationships because they want to treat it as if it's therapy. "OOH I CAN FIX/SAVE THEM!!"
Good lord, wtf is wrong with people? :/
People have their ups and downs in life and need a hand up, sure, but there are some who just need therapy and medication with the shit they're dealing with. As Arielle said, it just drags all of it down over time.
Overall, it seems as if there is a pretty large group of individuals who view people as "what can they do for me??" and it's seeped into relationships.
I'd say people like that tend to have a "gold digger" mentality. Doesn't necessarily have to be financial gain.click to expand
maybe the "what can they do for me" attitude comes because they've never been independent (emotionally/financially/x-ally). once you are able to live by and for yourself, the other person no longer becomes a necessity to existence but rather someone who adds to an already full cup.
i don't need my partner but i know should anything happen to him, my life would be much poorer without him.
Posted by LibrasettingYeah no I wasn't referring to their blowjob techniques.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowLol all Libra woman are succubus!Posted by rockyroadicecreamYou kinda made it about Libras in the first sentence. Unfortunately people would've started asking what her chart is like anyway. Can't be avoided, I'm afraid.
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
*sigh*
This wasn't about Libras.
Having said that, I agree with Arielle. Your friend is a succubus.click to expand
Goodness
Posted by brianafayBonds...it's the most important thing and the first one you should build with anyone in any type of rship 🙂
I was thinking about this the other morning actually
I think the point of any relationship - rather it be romantic or familial or friend - is simply meant to share your life with another...someone to share your joy and even your pain.
When my anxiety gets high I start thinking about how short life is and what the point is / what will matter in the end......and I always think of my Libra and feel peace because I know that is what will matter in the end...the people I loved and shared my time with.
Think about when you get good news - the first thing you probably do is call a loved one to share so they can be happy with you.
That's the point of relationships to me
It really feels good to share our happiness (and also problems) with others, doesn't it ? Hehe
Can i ask you your sun sign ?
The purpose of relationship to me as it's always been and will always be is to find a companion whose company I enjoy. I want someone complementary to myself. Their strengths and weakness should oppose mine.
The problem with me is I'm very selective of people I choose to date because I don't find their moral compass to be similar or as strong as mine. I look for integrity and sincerity in people and I feel like most people lack that.
The problem with me is I'm very selective of people I choose to date because I don't find their moral compass to be similar or as strong as mine. I look for integrity and sincerity in people and I feel like most people lack that.
Posted by jeaneI likey
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
Posted by jeaneI agree and believe everyone has some level of "baggage" ... some have "cargo" and no on that levelPosted by rockyroadicecreami'm too lazy to try and fix someone. i'm of the path of least resistance and just go for someone with an acceptable level of baggage. god knows, that is what i am hoping to attract. who needs someone to try to fix them? accept my hang ups and let's go on with this thing.Posted by jeaneAgreed.
to prove the point that not all libras are the same, i would side with your view point.
as someone who was alone for most of my adult life, i always thought it would happen when it happens and for most of that time, i thought it would never happen (and I was ok with that).
yes, relationships are there to complement each other and to have someone to make happy/make you happy.
maybe complementing is the purpose each person serves though?
And maybe that's how she might view it and maybe worded it poorly. I dunno.
I asked because it's not just her, but given the route society is going, it seems as if a lot of people are growing less dependent considering nobody is expected to actually grow up. Grow up, get with someone to take care of you!
Then there's the group who notoriously get off on "taking care" of the other person.
Both of which are really wonky and end up with a lot of dysfunction later on.
Nevermind all the shining examples we come across on DXP as well. Men and women alike take on relationships because they want to treat it as if it's therapy. "OOH I CAN FIX/SAVE THEM!!"
Good lord, wtf is wrong with people? :/click to expand
Because if someone dosen't contribute some form of happiness or help into your life, why have them around? Just for show? Just to say that they're a "friend"?
Let's face it........
If someone isnt bringing some form of positivity into your life, we cut them loose. Everyone does it, relationship or not. Nobody is going to stay friends with an asshole or a lazy sob. Especially you, Rocky.
Let's face it........
If someone isnt bringing some form of positivity into your life, we cut them loose. Everyone does it, relationship or not. Nobody is going to stay friends with an asshole or a lazy sob. Especially you, Rocky.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.
She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
What comes to your mind when you think of "relationships"?
Lol, libra is your opposite, don't be surprised that you view relationships completely different.
To each is own, right?
I experience the same polarity when discussing the concept of relationships with my scorpio friend..
I don't always agree how he views having a girlfriend, personally I feel like he settles and he can be more patient to find the right one..
We just have very different concepts and that's okay, he's still one of my best friends.
To each is own, right?
I experience the same polarity when discussing the concept of relationships with my scorpio friend..
I don't always agree how he views having a girlfriend, personally I feel like he settles and he can be more patient to find the right one..
We just have very different concepts and that's okay, he's still one of my best friends.
Posted by EnochtheWiseYes and thank youPosted by Ssupermanthat your girl? great smile/eyes...very pretty....you guys look great together.
Because if someone dosen't contribute some form of happiness or help into your life, why have them around? Just for show? Just to say that they're a "friend"?
Let's face it........
If someone isnt bringing some form of positivity into your life, we cut them loose. Everyone does it, relationship or not. Nobody is going to stay friends with an asshole or a lazy sob. Especially you, Rocky.click to expand
Posted by IamTheRamPosted by brianafayBonds...it's the most important thing and the first one you should build with anyone in any type of rship 🙂
I was thinking about this the other morning actually
I think the point of any relationship - rather it be romantic or familial or friend - is simply meant to share your life with another...someone to share your joy and even your pain.
When my anxiety gets high I start thinking about how short life is and what the point is / what will matter in the end......and I always think of my Libra and feel peace because I know that is what will matter in the end...the people I loved and shared my time with.
Think about when you get good news - the first thing you probably do is call a loved one to share so they can be happy with you.
That's the point of relationships to me
It really feels good to share our happiness (and also problems) with others, doesn't it ? Hehe
Can i ask you your sun sign ?
click to expand
Sag sun
I need not say I am very independent - I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy but I do feel it adds something of value to my existence
Growing dependent on someone's service to me is kinda frightening. And it's happening right now fml.
Well, libras are known for being the sign of partnership, can't really blame her there huh...only her parents for conceiving when they did lol.
However, it is likely that maybe she's just slightly immature and needs to go through a rough relationship to understand that a relationship will not bring happiness and security, because that lies within yourself..
However, it is likely that maybe she's just slightly immature and needs to go through a rough relationship to understand that a relationship will not bring happiness and security, because that lies within yourself..
Posted by CobycoPosted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.
She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
For me relationships are when you are looking for companionship long term. You want someone to share with and more importantly fuck on a regular.
click to expand
Couldn't have said it better myself! It fills the void of being single and not into hooking up or one night stands. Except the companionship doesn't necessarily have to be long term, it just needs to be respectful and complimentary to both of our lives.
Being in a relationship should add the icing on the cake that I've already made myself into. 😄
So people could torture each other.
Sex, companionship, someone to eat meals with.
Bonus was stumbling upon someone who cooks said meals ?
Bonus was stumbling upon someone who cooks said meals ?
To build something with someone which benefits both people involved. To procreate and give that child the best possible life you can while showing them what a healthy partnership looks like and what can be accomplished when two people come together and build a life.
Posted by brianafayFire...makes sense ^^Posted by IamTheRamPosted by brianafayBonds...it's the most important thing and the first one you should build with anyone in any type of rship 🙂
I was thinking about this the other morning actually
I think the point of any relationship - rather it be romantic or familial or friend - is simply meant to share your life with another...someone to share your joy and even your pain.
When my anxiety gets high I start thinking about how short life is and what the point is / what will matter in the end......and I always think of my Libra and feel peace because I know that is what will matter in the end...the people I loved and shared my time with.
Think about when you get good news - the first thing you probably do is call a loved one to share so they can be happy with you.
That's the point of relationships to me
It really feels good to share our happiness (and also problems) with others, doesn't it ? Hehe
Can i ask you your sun sign ?
Sag sun
I need not say I am very independent - I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy but I do feel it adds something of value to my existence
click to expand
And yeah i totaly get you...it's not about creating a bond to be happy...it's about creating\having one to be Happier hehe
Why be allways on our own when we can experience and share all our life with someone that actualy really matters, right ? hehe
Thanks !
Posted by IamTheRamHAHA, omg I always lol when people throw that insult out. It's like do you realize how fucking sad you sound??Posted by rockyroadicecreamIt's what you and tiz said.Posted by tizianiWhich is why I asked. People have differing views on what they see in a relationship that works for them and there's nothing wrong with that.
I was thinking of how to say what works for me without coming off as dismissive but yeah pretty much what jeane said. By the time you get to your thirties, the idea that people should or shouldn't be in a relationship isn't the point anymore.
You see people who get into relationships with their own unresolved issues and yet somehow it works, and then other times it doesn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm too old to know the answer to your question. Just as long as my family is doing well then that's as good a point as any.
I just thought it was kind of universal that relationships kind of equated "partner in crime" type of thing. If not that, then wtf is it if being a well adjusted individual who is okay with singledom isn't fit for a relationship because they don't NEED THEIR PARTNER omgherd.
I'd like to think there's a big difference between "we're here for eachother and lift eachother up when shit gets real" and "I'm an insecure twat that needs reassuring every other day or I'll wilt up and die. That is my love language!"
When we hit 30...everything changes...you just can't keep lying to yourself anymore.
Look arround rocky...the far majority of people here are more interested on the fact that they don't want to be single..rather then trying to build something togheter with someone else.
Notice what some say when they fight..they allways throw that card.."at least i am not single.."...makes me cringe to say the least...lol
Building something togheter, also means changing ourselfs togheter when needed...like you just said.
But some people still believe in fairy tales...and some things you can't change...the lying to ourselfs will get us nowhere...click to expand
"At least I'm not a miserable delusional asshole in a farce of a relationship. Jfc." Because people who throw that insult out are usually in those situations.
Posted by heliumfiascoI've noticed that about these people too- it's a sign of them not really evolving or growing up. They stay in a very immature mindset and just go from there. The amount of people who just do not evolve from high school is alarming at times.
From my personal experience, and the experience of others I know, I think a lot of it comes from habit. In your adolescents we are looking for validation so having a boyfriend or girlfriend signifies to us that we are desirable. The problem occurs when someone continuously does this through out their 20's. So, they have no idea who they are outside of the desire from another. Therefore they continue to chose anyone and end up wondering why nothing is working out. The cycle intensifies and they even more desperately need that other person. If anyone didn't have that cool down period after puberty I find they stay in a cycle. However, friends that had several years in-between relationships in younger years learned their self worth and tend to be adverse to settling or chasing relationships.
You also get the panicked person starting in your 30's, that starts desperately looking for a mate because they feel their clock is ticking. Desperation however is the stinkiest cologne. We often think we are masking that scent but you can smell it from two states over.
I think a mate is meant to be a partner plain and simple. Someone to build and share things with. Kind of like business partners that like to smash. It's about the life sharing much in the way your friends bring you joy.
I'd say the panic starts late 20s, tbh. My brother pointed it out to me awhile back. He said he's noticed that women in particular, start getting really weird and pushing for stupid shit in their late 20s early 30s because of that biological clock bs. They're forcing relationships and just kinda start acting like fucknuts with this stuff. I thought about it a bit and I've noticed a similar trend with a lot of people in that age group. And it could just be they're at that point where they can settle down, which is fine. But there is a large number of people who just start panicking and making moronic life choices in order to fit the social construct/internal pressure they're forcing upon themselves.
What you said would describe her to a T, though, which is probably why she will never really grasp it. She hasn't really grown up beyond early 20s and I doubt she will if at all. I know I'll never relate or fully grasp her view point because I've grown up beyond that, while she won't get mine because she refuses to grow up beyond that.
And like I said, we usually agree to disagree, but when she started grasping at straws and saying shit like "oh well if someone doesn't need all that shit and are okay with single, they shouldn't bother with a relationship," it's like good God, how many other unevolved people are thinking like this? It's bad enough being single has a negative stigma, but now we've got the mentality that what's actually healthy should avoid relationships and the unhealthy should run full charge at one? :/
Posted by OrchideeAmen, yo.
The purpose of relationship to me as it's always been and will always be is to find a companion whose company I enjoy. I want someone complementary to myself. Their strengths and weakness should oppose mine.
The problem with me is I'm very selective of people I choose to date because I don't find their moral compass to be similar or as strong as mine. I look for integrity and sincerity in people and I feel like most people lack that.
Posted by LadyNeptuneLearn to just appreciate it and enjoy it vs depending on it.
Growing dependent on someone's service to me is kinda frightening. And it's happening right now fml.
It's like friendship 2.0. Like your best friend but you got the deluxe version that comes with extra goodies.
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She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.