Whats next?

I want to preface this by saying this isnt aimed at any one particular person, just a trend that looks glaringly obvious to me, from a perspective that literally dumped all social media aside from DXP (because as dumb as some of the users can be, there is some actual depth here, about real shit, and I appreciate that) for about 15 years and has recently got back on.

Now on with my thoughts...

We're all a product of our parents, both physically as in we exist because of them, but also our whole operational system is a product of how we were treated by them. It affects everyone, there is no escaping it, and we pass parts of this onto the nexte generation. And im not talking generational trauma in the traditional sense.. Theres a generational theme/pattern that really starts to show up every new generation - the boomers' parents shaped them, the boomers shaped generations X amd the millennials, gen X and millennial as are shaping this generation, so on and so forth... the world is constantly changing, amd not always for the better, and even sometimeswhen it seems its better it has unintendedconsequences that we pay for down the road. Dating apps and social media, along with a generation of kids whose parents told them to suck it up, or I'll give you something to cry about, or really only gave achievement-based attention to their kids oftentimes pitting one child against another to outdo the other for attention (narcissistictupe mothers whose validation cones from their kids). These folks are now grown and having children of their own.. all while dating apps and SM has made shallow validation an achievement within itself... DOPAMINE is really the biggest addiction we have today imo..

In the past month alone so many 30-to early 40 year old girls (because they're really just immature girls IMO) have sent friend requests (local chicks that I either know, or have ran into at some point) then asked me if I wanted to see them nude.. then asked if id subscribe.. like what? I found you boring before, why would I pay to be bored by you again, only naked? It seems predatory. But is this more of a state of where a lot of guys are? It does seem like a lot of guys aren't really seen by women, or they're passed over, or they have these lofty expectations of what they deserve looks-wise, so the girls just exploit that with a fantasy that these guys buy into? Like a dopamine tradeoff - the guy can pretend shes actually atrracted to him, and she has another fly in her web.. Im really not sure? But, what makes me wonder most is, these girls have children, most of them ive seen, and thankfully they do state upfront tgat they have kids, but these kids are learning from mom, here... clearly dad either isnt in the picture, or just isnt involved enough to know whats going on, or so it would seem..

One of the girls ive known for a while, she has a daughter around 10, she just gave birth to a baby.. dad isnt in the picture.. not that he isnt present in the baby or mom's life, but literally isnt in any pictures. There is no evidence this man exists, yet people who know them know they're in a relationship and have been for some time now.. this girl posts selfie basically daily, hustles her subscriber shit, but not a single Pic of dad/boyfriend... now I have seen 1 of these types of girls post their boyfriend and laughed because she had zero attention or validation from that1 particular post, and she deleted it.

Now im seeing the one girl's daughter, the 10 yo, wearing makeup, has her own SM pages, and shes posing just like mom... shes 10.. she's the next gen.. what happens when she has kids? How far do we fall? Just a bunch of women who couldnt keep a conversation going if their life depended on it, but as soon as they think youre loosing interest "wanna see my tits?".. peak bimbo culture IMO

I get its the throw away culture the world lives in. - dont fix, just trash and move onto the next, ive been there and guilty myself, unfortunately.. but what do you forsee ad the culmination of all this?

I still cant wrap my mind around the fact that society still bitches about millionaires through the lense of industrial magnates, yet many, many, many Only fans girls have surpassed their local business owners in wealth, who actually employ and help to build the communities they're established in. And its a bunch of simp men who are paying the way, and incentivizing the next generation, also..

I hate all the shallow shit. I fucking hate it with all the passion I have, i fucking hate it. And I just see it as a bottomless pit, with people digging and refusing to drop the shovel.

People are products of their environment. Sometimes the things they do are means to an end. The only real way to start change is by being an example to those around you.

The internet disrupted the gatekeepers of women’s sexuality. For a long time men controlled women’s sexuality by owning the companies, financing the production, controlling the distribution and decided what was marketable. Now social media allows women to bypass those men and monetize themselves directly. Some people will experience this as liberation for women. Some will feel resentment.

Brooke Shields was 10 years old when she was photographed for Playboy by Garry Gross. That was in 1975. That was 51 years ago.

Im not saying any of this is healthy or harmless but I guess I just don’t see it as a moral collapse point. I am worried about the impact, not because I think it will be worse than ever before , but because it’s different than ever before.

I didn't read the whole thing I don't want to get brain dead reading all that in one day so I'll have to take reading this like a day at a time. But on to what I came here for. The boomer parents didn't take no shit. That's why I am the way I am. I'm hard on people and not one that's easily to get along with. I'm definitely not approachable either. You either love me or you either hate me I couldn't care less. That choice is yours. I don't know maybe it's because I was brought up by earth parents. They brought all that earthiness to me. Too bad today's kids didn't get brought up like we Gen xs did with a belt being whipped across all our asses if we so much as do the wrong thing. That's why youngins are out here on the streets getting in trouble with the law cus their sorry generation x parents don't care and don't have any parenting skills.

Posted by PilatesBod
The internet disrupted the gatekeepers of women’s sexuality. For a long time men controlled women’s sexuality by owning the companies, financing the production, controlling the distribution and decided what was marketable. Now social media allows women to bypass those men and monetize themselves directly. Some people will experience this as liberation for women. Some will feel resentment.

Brooke Shields was 10 years old when she was photographed for Playboy by Garry Gross. That was in 1975. That was 51 years ago.

Im not saying any of this is healthy or harmless but I guess I just don’t see it as a moral collapse point. I am worried about the impact, not because I think it will be worse than ever before , but because it’s different than ever before.

It's a competition of who's holding the torch when it shouldn't be, in a world where we're supposedly striving for equality.

From what I’ve heard, only a very small percent of people are making big money on OF. They’re probably not making more than small local businesses owners. At least not consistently. Certainly not millions.

Posted by victoria-sakura
People are products of their environment. Sometimes the things they do are means to an end. The only real way to start change is by being an example to those around you.

100%

Society figured out how to monetize insecurity.

I blame the culture and platforms that reward shallow validation and transactional relationships more than the people caught up in it. I also don’t really see it as a generations issue or a men vs. women issue as much as just a bigger shift in culture that affects everyone differently.

I'm gonna speak from my own experience, for a long time I've been an advocate for equality and not treating men as a cash machine, where did that get me? Nowhere tbh

I don't know about the west but where I live it's a very patriarchal society, men here are at the centre of attention, equality between men and women is an illusion imo, most women do all the emotional labor, I was brought up to do so as well and it took me my entire life to realize that.

How different that is from the west?

More than 50% of billionaires in the world are men, so it'll always cater to them, they make the rules, so why shouldn't women profit off that? Oh wait they are called hoes and gold diggers when they do.

But for once these qualities are praised in social media and in society by men themselves, they follow Instagram models and they like their provocative posts, women notice that, so why should they take the high road when it leads nowhere?

I'm not defending all this, I'm just saying it's the result of living under capitalism and patriarchy.

Posted by PilatesBod
The internet disrupted the gatekeepers of women’s sexuality. For a long time men controlled women’s sexuality by owning the companies, financing the production, controlling the distribution and decided what was marketable. Now social media allows women to bypass those men and monetize themselves directly. Some people will experience this as liberation for women. Some will feel resentment.

Brooke Shields was 10 years old when she was photographed for Playboy by Garry Gross. That was in 1975. That was 51 years ago.

Im not saying any of this is healthy or harmless but I guess I just don’t see it as a moral collapse point. I am worried about the impact, not because I think it will be worse than ever before , but because it’s different than ever before.

I agree with what you said. I 100% do. I differentiate on how all this ends up as a society.

I think you and I have discussed my preference for women to be treated well because of their brains and not just for sex.. to me thats true equality. ill go ahead and say something I dont think ive ever mentioned on here... I grew up in an all women house.. my sister became a stripper (the whole family was blessed with looks, thank ya Jesus!).. the only thing she knows is selling sex, and now that shes older, and the looks are fading, she cant be as dismissive of people, shes having to learn skills now that shes never had to. Shes being humbled and has nothing she has developed as a personality or skill set other than looks. I get it, it does go both ways, I know a lot of my income revolves around looks also, but as a male, and unfairly probably, I still have the command and respect to not need to chase that. And thats what I think as a society we should be pursuing, not this stupid ass trade of the isea of sex for cash. I know men who have fucked actual animals, for a woman to seek validation by the meer fact that man finds her sexually attractive is such a low bar for women; theyll fuck anything. Like colleges have what like a 50% illiteracy rate on 4 year degrees? The same women who outnumber men in attending and graduating from colleges?

Im all for sexual expression, what im not for is pigeonholing yourself. Idk, I just feel like sex is a basic human need/urge not really something to build selfrespect or a career on. And this isnt even really sex, its the idea of sex. Its pandering to losers IMO. But then again, im not one who watches porn either.

Every country around the world the women have had some sort of sexual repression that they're just now coming out of.. along with all kinds of other repression..

I guess I just feel like most of this shit is basic bitch stuff, that still requires a man to give the attention youre cashing in on.. use your brain and earn your own without a man.

I don't resent anyone I just feel like as a whole ass society we can do better for everyone.



Stay tuned.. my next long ass rant is going to be why Americans still subsidize corn and soybeans for a industry that was sold out years ago, but not healthy edible food and how thats fucked our Healthcare system up, and we pay for it on both ends.. lol

Posted by jazzykid
Society figured out how to monetize insecurity.

I blame the culture and platforms that reward shallow validation and transactional relationships more than the people caught up in it. I also don’t really see it as a generations issue or a men vs. women issue as much as just a bigger shift in culture that affects everyone differently.

I agree with this, and thats really my concern, but how do you not see it as generational? The generation pioneering this right now, is setting the tone for the next generation, and thats for both men and women. O see it as similar to the boomers in america who came back from Vietnam mentally fucked who tried to have families.. they weren't directly responsible, only a product of their circumstances... but there were ripples..

Posted by Generously910
I'm gonna speak from my own experience, for a long time I've been an advocate for equality and not treating men as a cash machine, where did that get me? Nowhere tbh

I don't know about the west but where I live it's a very patriarchal society, men here are at the centre of attention, equality between men and women is an illusion imo, most women do all the emotional labor, I was brought up to do so as well and it took me my entire life to realize that.

How different that is from the west?

More than 50% of billionaires in the world are men, so it'll always cater to them, they make the rules, so why shouldn't women profit off that? Oh wait they are called hoes and gold diggers when they do.

But for once these qualities are praised in social media and in society by men themselves, they follow Instagram models and they like their provocative posts, women notice that, so why should they take the high road when it leads nowhere?

I'm not defending all this, I'm just saying it's the result of living under capitalism and patriarchy.

I was hoping youd respond. I do think your culture adds a twist to what im saying vs the west. And ive told you before I think cultures like yours put too much respect (good or bad) on genitals.

Im curious on what you mean by emotional labor? Do you mean what i was referring to about suppressing your emotions to please society, like I referenced the boomers doing, or their parents to them? To me thats cultural. The west went from very conservative to more liberal, culturally, pretty quick once the ball started rolling. I feel like some cultures just lag behind.

Here's another thing, so all this stuff about women and sexual repression, I have a question...

Why do women get embarrassed when the squirt or soak the bed.. isnt that what we're aiming for? Congratulations! High five!! Why are you apologizing?

I tried quoting you but it didn’t work:

I see the generational angle, I just don’t think it explains everything.

Each generation passes things down, but this feels less like one generation causing it and more like older issues getting amplified by social media, dating apps, and online incentives.

Also, sorry if this goes through twice. lol

Quite ironic you should be condemning so called “shallow validation culture” while framing women’s worth primarily through whether they appear intellectually stimulating, sexually modest, maternally ideal, or aesthetically restrained according to your standards. That, in case it did not register, is also part taking, if not generating, validation culture.

Just from the opposite direction. Your argument also heavily reeks of misogyny... just sayin'

Edit to say, all the onus on women's actions/behavior meanwhile not a single word on 62 million ...

Posted by Hatter1111

Posted by Generously910
I'm gonna speak from my own experience, for a long time I've been an advocate for equality and not treating men as a cash machine, where did that get me? Nowhere tbh

I don't know about the west but where I live it's a very patriarchal society, men here are at the centre of attention, equality between men and women is an illusion imo, most women do all the emotional labor, I was brought up to do so as well and it took me my entire life to realize that.

How different that is from the west?

More than 50% of billionaires in the world are men, so it'll always cater to them, they make the rules, so why shouldn't women profit off that? Oh wait they are called hoes and gold diggers when they do.

But for once these qualities are praised in social media and in society by men themselves, they follow Instagram models and they like their provocative posts, women notice that, so why should they take the high road when it leads nowhere?

I'm not defending all this, I'm just saying it's the result of living under capitalism and patriarchy.

I was hoping youd respond. I do think your culture adds a twist to what im saying vs the west. And ive told you before I think cultures like yours put too much respect (good or bad) on genitals.

Im curious on what you mean by emotional labor? Do you mean what i was referring to about suppressing your emotions to please society, like I referenced the boomers doing, or their parents to them? To me thats cultural. The west went from very conservative to more liberal, culturally, pretty quick once the ball started rolling. I feel like some cultures just lag behind.

click to expand

Yeah it's exactly that, women basically shouldn't have a voice here, it's not Afghanistan but it's women who should do all the housework and the raising of the kids, and work outside,

Things are changing but into what exactly?

It's not as great in the West as well or any part of the world,

Maybe I'm just being pessimistic

Posted by Generously910

Posted by Hatter1111

Posted by Generously910
I'm gonna speak from my own experience, for a long time I've been an advocate for equality and not treating men as a cash machine, where did that get me? Nowhere tbh

I don't know about the west but where I live it's a very patriarchal society, men here are at the centre of attention, equality between men and women is an illusion imo, most women do all the emotional labor, I was brought up to do so as well and it took me my entire life to realize that.

How different that is from the west?

More than 50% of billionaires in the world are men, so it'll always cater to them, they make the rules, so why shouldn't women profit off that? Oh wait they are called hoes and gold diggers when they do.

But for once these qualities are praised in social media and in society by men themselves, they follow Instagram models and they like their provocative posts, women notice that, so why should they take the high road when it leads nowhere?

I'm not defending all this, I'm just saying it's the result of living under capitalism and patriarchy.

I was hoping youd respond. I do think your culture adds a twist to what im saying vs the west. And ive told you before I think cultures like yours put too much respect (good or bad) on genitals.

Im curious on what you mean by emotional labor? Do you mean what i was referring to about suppressing your emotions to please society, like I referenced the boomers doing, or their parents to them? To me thats cultural. The west went from very conservative to more liberal, culturally, pretty quick once the ball started rolling. I feel like some cultures just lag behind.click to expand

Yeah it's exactly that, women basically shouldn't have a voice here, it's not Afghanistan but it's women who should do all the housework and the raising of the kids, and work outside,

Things are changing but into what exactly?

It's not as great in the West as well or any part of the world,

Maybe I'm just being pessimistic

click to expand

Have you ever considered moving? You don't seem to really fit your culture in that regard.

I know some women want to be housewives and do that whole shtick, but youre clearly not that. I dont even take you as wanting to be a hoe when you talk about sexual liberation.. I get more, well, honestly, FA vibes where you dont want to be tied to something and make the wrong decision you cant get out of.. and thats a perfectly legitimate view, I think. How are divorces or separations handled in your culture? Are they allowed?

What the original post was about was really me saying I feel like current culture is more or less reverting back to singling out sex as the only thing women have to offer the world. And thats a step back in my opinion. And kinda, sometimes, I feel like you guys put yourselves in a box when you dont need to. Lien I get that its ingrained, but in the west anyway, many guys aren't as backwards and really do fuck with women’s brains in a good good way.. I mean, sex is good, im still on board with all that, but like I said earlier thats a basic biological need.. thats lizard brain shit.. why are we establishing an entire relationship in just that.. I guess if sex is terrible maybe a hard pass, but if its good or decent let's elevate ourselves above the beasts, I guess. But I guess that goes with having actual respect for a whole other person?

Posted by Hatter1111
I want to preface this by saying this isnt aimed at any one particular person, just a trend that looks glaringly obvious to me, from a perspective that literally dumped all social media aside from DXP (because as dumb as some of the users can be, there is some actual depth here, about real shit, and I appreciate that) for about 15 years and has recently got back on.

Now on with my thoughts...

We're all a product of our parents, both physically as in we exist because of them, but also our whole operational system is a product of how we were treated by them. It affects everyone, there is no escaping it, and we pass parts of this onto the nexte generation. And im not talking generational trauma in the traditional sense.. Theres a generational theme/pattern that really starts to show up every new generation - the boomers' parents shaped them, the boomers shaped generations X amd the millennials, gen X and millennial as are shaping this generation, so on and so forth... the world is constantly changing, amd not always for the better, and even sometimeswhen it seems its better it has unintendedconsequences that we pay for down the road. Dating apps and social media, along with a generation of kids whose parents told them to suck it up, or I'll give you something to cry about, or really only gave achievement-based attention to their kids oftentimes pitting one child against another to outdo the other for attention (narcissistictupe mothers whose validation cones from their kids). These folks are now grown and having children of their own.. all while dating apps and SM has made shallow validation an achievement within itself... DOPAMINE is really the biggest addiction we have today imo..

In the past month alone so many 30-to early 40 year old girls (because they're really just immature girls IMO) have sent friend requests (local chicks that I either know, or have ran into at some point) then asked me if I wanted to see them nude.. then asked if id subscribe.. like what? I found you boring before, why would I pay to be bored by you again, only naked? It seems predatory. But is this more of a state of where a lot of guys are? It does seem like a lot of guys aren't really seen by women, or they're passed over, or they have these lofty expectations of what they deserve looks-wise, so the girls just exploit that with a fantasy that these guys buy into? Like a dopamine tradeoff - the guy can pretend shes actually atrracted to him, and she has another fly in her web.. Im really not sure? But, what makes me wonder most is, these girls have children, most of them ive seen, and thankfully they do state upfront tgat they have kids, but these kids are learning from mom, here... clearly dad either isnt in the picture, or just isnt involved enough to know whats going on, or so it would seem..

One of the girls ive known for a while, she has a daughter around 10, she just gave birth to a baby.. dad isnt in the picture.. not that he isnt present in the baby or mom's life, but literally isnt in any pictures. There is no evidence this man exists, yet people who know them know they're in a relationship and have been for some time now.. this girl posts selfie basically daily, hustles her subscriber shit, but not a single Pic of dad/boyfriend... now I have seen 1 of these types of girls post their boyfriend and laughed because she had zero attention or validation from that1 particular post, and she deleted it.

Now im seeing the one girl's daughter, the 10 yo, wearing makeup, has her own SM pages, and shes posing just like mom... shes 10.. she's the next gen.. what happens when she has kids? How far do we fall? Just a bunch of women who couldnt keep a conversation going if their life depended on it, but as soon as they think youre loosing interest "wanna see my tits?".. peak bimbo culture IMO

I get its the throw away culture the world lives in. - dont fix, just trash and move onto the next, ive been there and guilty myself, unfortunately.. but what do you forsee ad the culmination of all this?

I still cant wrap my mind around the fact that society still bitches about millionaires through the lense of industrial magnates, yet many, many, many Only fans girls have surpassed their local business owners in wealth, who actually employ and help to build the communities they're established in. And its a bunch of simp men who are paying the way, and incentivizing the next generation, also..

I hate all the shallow shit. I fucking hate it with all the passion I have, i fucking hate it. And I just see it as a bottomless pit, with people digging and refusing to drop the shovel.

I've met orphans that lost their parents and have nothing. I don't envy their pain, they go through the most.

One that I met told me something I'll never forget.

"A child should never have to fight their parent's love, the parent should fight for their kid's love.

I'm done fighting for my parent's love, and I have been for a long time.

Some of the best advice I've ever received

Posted by Hatter1111
Here's another thing, so all this stuff about women and sexual repression, I have a question...

Why do women get embarrassed when the squirt or soak the bed.. isnt that what we're aiming for? Congratulations! High five!! Why are you apologizing?

You probably won’t love to hear this but the embarrassment was probably partly self protection from constantly hearing sentiments like your OP. Men policing the conditions it’s acceptable for them to experience or express sexuality and pleasure.

Don’t get mad at me here…it seemed to work exactly as intended. You seem to frame the experience with her as your accomplishment, which she has probably learned is safer for her than men thinking she is a very sexual person who is comfortable with her own pleasure.

Let the woman squirt freely. That's why snorkels were invented.

Also most girls don't make that much from those sites unless it's in a foreign country where there's limited employment and a little bit goes a long way (no pun)

Plus that shits hard work. There's so much competition and the near constant engagement with people. But some people are hustling, putting in a lot of work. Good for them.

The positive thing is people are more open to niches and what wasn't publicly accepted as attractive before is now earning shekels. It's liberating and accepting AF imo and more attractive than having a greasy pimp tell her how to act towards people.

Plus women should be validated however they want and if they want imo. Like MLK use to say. Content of the character.

Posted by Hatter1111

Posted by Generously910

Posted by Hatter1111

Posted by Generously910
I'm gonna speak from my own experience, for a long time I've been an advocate for equality and not treating men as a cash machine, where did that get me? Nowhere tbh

I don't know about the west but where I live it's a very patriarchal society, men here are at the centre of attention, equality between men and women is an illusion imo, most women do all the emotional labor, I was brought up to do so as well and it took me my entire life to realize that.

How different that is from the west?

More than 50% of billionaires in the world are men, so it'll always cater to them, they make the rules, so why shouldn't women profit off that? Oh wait they are called hoes and gold diggers when they do.

But for once these qualities are praised in social media and in society by men themselves, they follow Instagram models and they like their provocative posts, women notice that, so why should they take the high road when it leads nowhere?

I'm not defending all this, I'm just saying it's the result of living under capitalism and patriarchy.

I was hoping youd respond. I do think your culture adds a twist to what im saying vs the west. And ive told you before I think cultures like yours put too much respect (good or bad) on genitals.

Im curious on what you mean by emotional labor? Do you mean what i was referring to about suppressing your emotions to please society, like I referenced the boomers doing, or their parents to them? To me thats cultural. The west went from very conservative to more liberal, culturally, pretty quick once the ball started rolling. I feel like some cultures just lag behind.click to expand

Yeah it's exactly that, women basically shouldn't have a voice here, it's not Afghanistan but it's women who should do all the housework and the raising of the kids, and work outside,

Things are changing but into what exactly?

It's not as great in the West as well or any part of the world,

Maybe I'm just being pessimisticclick to expand

Have you ever considered moving? You don't seem to really fit your culture in that regard.

I know some women want to be housewives and do that whole shtick, but youre clearly not that. I dont even take you as wanting to be a hoe when you talk about sexual liberation.. I get more, well, honestly, FA vibes where you dont want to be tied to something and make the wrong decision you cant get out of.. and thats a perfectly legitimate view, I think. How are divorces or separations handled in your culture? Are they allowed?

What the original post was about was really me saying I feel like current culture is more or less reverting back to singling out sex as the only thing women have to offer the world. And thats a step back in my opinion. And kinda, sometimes, I feel like you guys put yourselves in a box when you dont need to. Lien I get that its ingrained, but in the west anyway, many guys aren't as backwards and really do fuck with women’s brains in a good good way.. I mean, sex is good, im still on board with all that, but like I said earlier thats a basic biological need.. thats lizard brain shit.. why are we establishing an entire relationship in just that.. I guess if sex is terrible maybe a hard pass, but if its good or decent let's elevate ourselves above the beasts, I guess. But I guess that goes with having actual respect for a whole other person?

click to expand

Yes divorces are allowed ofc, can be initiated by men and women, and they are on the rise,

I'd like to end up with someone but no marriage, I feel like it's a trap although I believe it is designed to protect women I see it as a trap as well,

I honestly have no desire in leaving the country, not that it's easy anyways, but I think the whole world is falling apart, financially I'm better off here.

Going forward as a society we will always continue to develop platforms to exploit and market literally almost everything… And given how no one cares to take any action on the Epstein files, we have worst things to look forward to rising... But you know how annoying kpop got so big? It heavily relies on fans’ parasocialism. It’s so deep that the kpop idols aren’t allowed to openly date to maintain the illusion that they’re always available and accessible to their fans. A multibillion dollar industry heavily depended on strong feelings particularly from females/younger generations. The fans have a zero tolerance policy for any of their idols getting into a serious relationship, they have drove idols to divorce by stalking and other harassments... Many of the fans are batshit crazy and most likely have some sort of personality disorder or mental illness (also why I think they’re easy to profit off of).

However it never ceases to astonish me how much the average adult male is supposedly willing to shell out for things like onlyfans when so much porn is free? Do guys really buy into the whole personalized/custom experience that much? It’s also just a form of parasocial relationships with the girls… As of late 2025 and early 2026, studies indicate that between 48% and 69% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. OnlyFans hosts over 377.5 million registered users (about 50% being Americans).. US population is over 342.4 million… I find all this so interesting because the crazy big successes you hear from onlyfans come at the expense of others and clearly these subscribers have money to blow but the math don’t math when you look at the macroeconomics..?

All of it just reinforces for me that the average male will *always* have money to blow and that women should not fall for any broke claims (the simple truth being he just doesn’t want to spend it on YOU). Women should also have rightful entitlement to it when they have children with these males. Go forth and suck them dry before the onlyfans subscriptions do !

I feel like I just established the average male is not above a crazy teenybop kpop fan. They are two peas in a pod. Remember that ladies whenever you feel down.

TL;DR Women should not be stuck doing all the emotional and mental labor, most (if not all) of the childrearing on top of having to also make a living while he’s out there earning and spending it recklessly on shit like onlyfans because the stats just don’t lie.

boy moms who treat their sons as replacement husbands are cringe. but it's not like there aren't narcissistic fathers who use their children (especially their sons) as extensions of themselves. you can't just be blaming these women when the kids have non-existent or almost non-existent father figures.

Posted by PilatesBod

Posted by Hatter1111
Here's another thing, so all this stuff about women and sexual repression, I have a question...

Why do women get embarrassed when the squirt or soak the bed.. isnt that what we're aiming for? Congratulations! High five!! Why are you apologizing?

You probably won’t love to hear this but the embarrassment was probably partly self protection from constantly hearing sentiments like your OP. Men policing the conditions it’s acceptable for them to experience or express sexuality and pleasure.

Don’t get mad at me here…it seemed to work exactly as intended. You seem to frame the experience with her as your accomplishment, which she has probably learned is safer for her than men thinking she is a very sexual person who is comfortable with her own pleasure.

click to expand

It seems like youre kinda making a lot of assumptions in this... this was a general question based on a pattern.. but, this particular person is someone I had been with in a relationship for 10 years at one point... so yeah, nah, she knows me, i know her, and shes always apologized every time, so its not really an accomplishment. however, I do think its expectations shes put on herself to perform a certain way.. theres been a few times where she got hers but was wore out before I did.. so this last time she soaked the bed, collapsed, and told me she was numb from the legs down and id just have to "use her", then for like an hour she apologized.. but she apologized all the time for that kinda stuff.. and this isn't like a one off occurrence with just her.. while we're on the subject.. women also get in their heads and apologize when a the man doesnt come.. thats happened many times over the years. The apologies and the lengths a woman will go is kind wild sometimes.

So let me flip that question back on you...

Do you think a woman's ego is also attached to how well they perform sexually?

Posted by Hatter1111

Posted by PilatesBod

Posted by Hatter1111
Here's another thing, so all this stuff about women and sexual repression, I have a question...

Why do women get embarrassed when the squirt or soak the bed.. isnt that what we're aiming for? Congratulations! High five!! Why are you apologizing?

You probably won’t love to hear this but the embarrassment was probably partly self protection from constantly hearing sentiments like your OP. Men policing the conditions it’s acceptable for them to experience or express sexuality and pleasure.

Don’t get mad at me here…it seemed to work exactly as intended. You seem to frame the experience with her as your accomplishment, which she has probably learned is safer for her than men thinking she is a very sexual person who is comfortable with her own pleasure.

click to expand

It seems like youre kinda making a lot of assumptions in this... this was a general question based on a pattern.. but, this particular person is someone I had been with in a relationship for 10 years at one point... so yeah, nah, she knows me, i know her, and shes always apologized every time, so its not really an accomplishment. however, I do think its expectations shes put on herself to perform a certain way.. theres been a few times where she got hers but was wore out before I did.. so this last time she soaked the bed, collapsed, and told me she was numb from the legs down and id just have to "use her", then for like an hour she apologized.. but she apologized all the time for that kinda stuff.. and this isn't like a one off occurrence with just her.. while we're on the subject.. women also get in their heads and apologize when a the man doesnt come.. thats happened many times over the years. The apologies and the lengths a woman will go is kind wild sometimes.

So let me flip that question back on you...

Do you think a woman's ego is also attached to how well they perform sexually?

click to expand

Well yeah, I assumed this was a person you just recently met and not someone you’d known intimately for a decade. Why didn’t you just ask her why she’s feels the need to apologize?

I generally don’t talk about my sex life but I’ve slept with women too, and none of them ever felt the need to apologize to me. So I can’t agree this is just an innate “women are like this” thing. It’s just women feeling pressured to manage the experience with men.

Posted by PilatesBod

Posted by Hatter1111

Posted by PilatesBod

Posted by Hatter1111
Here's another thing, so all this stuff about women and sexual repression, I have a question...

Why do women get embarrassed when the squirt or soak the bed.. isnt that what we're aiming for? Congratulations! High five!! Why are you apologizing?

You probably won’t love to hear this but the embarrassment was probably partly self protection from constantly hearing sentiments like your OP. Men policing the conditions it’s acceptable for them to experience or express sexuality and pleasure.

Don’t get mad at me here…it seemed to work exactly as intended. You seem to frame the experience with her as your accomplishment, which she has probably learned is safer for her than men thinking she is a very sexual person who is comfortable with her own pleasure.

click to expand

It seems like youre kinda making a lot of assumptions in this... this was a general question based on a pattern.. but, this particular person is someone I had been with in a relationship for 10 years at one point... so yeah, nah, she knows me, i know her, and shes always apologized every time, so its not really an accomplishment. however, I do think its expectations shes put on herself to perform a certain way.. theres been a few times where she got hers but was wore out before I did.. so this last time she soaked the bed, collapsed, and told me she was numb from the legs down and id just have to "use her", then for like an hour she apologized.. but she apologized all the time for that kinda stuff.. and this isn't like a one off occurrence with just her.. while we're on the subject.. women also get in their heads and apologize when a the man doesnt come.. thats happened many times over the years. The apologies and the lengths a woman will go is kind wild sometimes.

So let me flip that question back on you...

Do you think a woman's ego is also attached to how well they perform sexually?click to expand

Well yeah, I assumed this was a person you just recently met and not someone you’d known intimately for a decade. Why didn’t you just ask her why she’s feels the need to apologize?

I generally don’t talk about my sex life but I’ve slept with women too, and none of them ever felt the need to apologize to me. So I can’t agree this is just an innate “women are like this” thing. It’s just women feeling pressured to manage the experience with men.

click to expand

Honestly, like ive been aware of the, for the lack of a better term right now, people pleasing type behavior for a long time.. I just never really paid attention and chalked it up to she (most women ive been with) just wants to please me and make sure im happy, never thought too much more about it.. and thats kinda why this last time with an ex whom we spent a lot of time together, still does this... then every other occasion where women I just met, or have dated a few months, do basically the same thing.

But I do, now that we're here, and Im curious as to your take on it, think women’s egos are just as wrapped up in sex as a man's. I will say men are probably more selfish (not really sure as I dont fuck men), but consensus seems to point to that being true. Whereas I dont think women get theirs nearly as often so they revert to making sure he's happy (people pleasing). I remember telling a woman a long time ago because we had this weird mean sexual tension towards each other, that she probably couldnt make me cum anyway (and was really meant to shut the whole thing down), but then a switch flipped and she went from on the prowl to a full on hunt, she pulled out all the tricks. I just remember the fuggin roles seemed to flip in an instant and her ego and aggression had me blushing.. I bought a rape whistle the next morning. It really felt like her ego went all in on taking that as a challenge and well, I guess... people pleasing? I mean, yup! 10/10 mission accomplished. But I felt like emasculated to a degree, so my ego couldnt do it anymore, but no regerts fo sho!!

So personally, and im not a woman, from the outside looking in it seems a lot of that kind of behavior isnt really society oppressing, its more interpersonal and our own egos. Hell, possibly conditioned by watching mom and dad, or dad and women, or mom and men interact 🤔? Which to come full circle.. is what concerns me. I have a son now, I actively and consciously try to not be sleezy, how if we're out and a woman starts flirting im different in guiding the conversation and not just escalaterhe situation to rhe usual outcome.. I grew up with women, I love women and appreciate women even though we are very different in so many ways, I want my son to do the same. And I feel like the OP is a very superficial still way of expressing the same kind of worry.. and fuck, it may just be the women I attract, who knows?

Posted by PilatesBod

Posted by Hatter1111

Posted by PilatesBod

Posted by Hatter1111
Here's another thing, so all this stuff about women and sexual repression, I have a question...

Why do women get embarrassed when the squirt or soak the bed.. isnt that what we're aiming for? Congratulations! High five!! Why are you apologizing?

You probably won’t love to hear this but the embarrassment was probably partly self protection from constantly hearing sentiments like your OP. Men policing the conditions it’s acceptable for them to experience or express sexuality and pleasure.

Don’t get mad at me here…it seemed to work exactly as intended. You seem to frame the experience with her as your accomplishment, which she has probably learned is safer for her than men thinking she is a very sexual person who is comfortable with her own pleasure.

click to expand

It seems like youre kinda making a lot of assumptions in this... this was a general question based on a pattern.. but, this particular person is someone I had been with in a relationship for 10 years at one point... so yeah, nah, she knows me, i know her, and shes always apologized every time, so its not really an accomplishment. however, I do think its expectations shes put on herself to perform a certain way.. theres been a few times where she got hers but was wore out before I did.. so this last time she soaked the bed, collapsed, and told me she was numb from the legs down and id just have to "use her", then for like an hour she apologized.. but she apologized all the time for that kinda stuff.. and this isn't like a one off occurrence with just her.. while we're on the subject.. women also get in their heads and apologize when a the man doesnt come.. thats happened many times over the years. The apologies and the lengths a woman will go is kind wild sometimes.

So let me flip that question back on you...

Do you think a woman's ego is also attached to how well they perform sexually?click to expand

Well yeah, I assumed this was a person you just recently met and not someone you’d known intimately for a decade. Why didn’t you just ask her why she’s feels the need to apologize?

I generally don’t talk about my sex life but I’ve slept with women too, and none of them ever felt the need to apologize to me. So I can’t agree this is just an innate “women are like this” thing. It’s just women feeling pressured to manage the experience with men.

click to expand

Honestly, like ive been aware of the, for the lack of a better term right now, people pleasing type behavior for a long time.. I just never really paid attention and chalked it up to she (most women ive been with) just wants to please me and make sure im happy, never thought too much more about it.. and thats kinda why this last time with an ex whom we spent a lot of time together, still does this... then every other occasion where women I just met, or have dated a few months, do basically the same thing.

But I do, now that we're here, and Im curious as to your take on it, think women’s egos are just as wrapped up in sex as a man's. I will say men are probably more selfish (not really sure as I dont fuck men), but consensus seems to point to that being true. Whereas I dont think women get theirs nearly as often so they revert to making sure he's happy (people pleasing). I remember telling a woman a long time ago because we had this weird mean sexual tension towards each other, that she probably couldnt make me cum anyway (and was really meant to shut the whole thing down), but then a switch flipped and she went from on the prowl to a full on hunt, she pulled out all the tricks. I just remember the fuggin roles seemed to flip in an instant and her ego and aggression had me blushing.. I bought a rape whistle the next morning. It really felt like her ego went all in on taking that as a challenge and well, I guess... people pleasing? I mean, yup! 10/10 mission accomplished. But I felt like emasculated to a degree, so my ego couldnt do it anymore, but no regerts fo sho!!

So personally, and im not a woman, from the outside looking in it seems a lot of that kind of behavior isnt really society oppressing, its more interpersonal and our own egos. Hell, possibly conditioned by watching mom and dad, or dad and women, or mom and men interact 🤔? Which to come full circle.. is what concerns me. I have a son now, I actively and consciously try to not be sleezy, how if we're out and a woman starts flirting im different in guiding the conversation and not just escalaterhe situation to rhe usual outcome.. I grew up with women, I love women and appreciate women even though we are very different in so many ways, I want my son to do the same. And I feel like the OP is a very superficial still way of expressing the same kind of worry.. and fuck, it may just be the women I attract, who knows?

Of course women can have egos, I just don’t think that explains the pattern you’re describing.

Very broadly speaking, a man’s masculinity is tied to his libido and sexual performance. A woman’s femininity is tied to modesty and being sexually reserved. This creates a dynamic where men feel more comfortable with sexual encounters if he feels like the woman’s sexuality is uniquely unlocked by him or that he earned the access to her.

But you keep interpreting women’s behaviors as intrinsic female traits rather than adaptive behaviors within a dynamic that men also shape.

Do you see where you’re engineering a dynamic and then acting as a neutral observer? As if you’re not the one who created it? Lol. You gave a woman a sexual challenge. Telling someone they can’t make you cum is sexual evaluation. You’re telling her she’s not desirable or competent. And then when she shows up and shows that she is competent, that shifts power and sounds like it was vulnerable for you. If she can perform on your level, she can now evaluate your performance too.

I am making a lot of assumptions here so if it doesn’t apply let it fly.

I agree with the poster who said your posts in this thread smell of misogyny (I was going to ask why you hate women, had that person not expressed the same sentiment more eloquently lol).

I encourage you to look up castration anxiety, but not the Freudian concept; rather castration anxiety as defined by Lacan, and the proposed treatment for it.

Posted by PilatesBod
The internet disrupted the gatekeepers of women’s sexuality. For a long time men controlled women’s sexuality by owning the companies, financing the production, controlling the distribution and decided what was marketable. Now social media allows women to bypass those men and monetize themselves directly. Some people will experience this as liberation for women. Some will feel resentment.

Brooke Shields was 10 years old when she was photographed for Playboy by Garry Gross. That was in 1975. That was 51 years ago.

Im not saying any of this is healthy or harmless but I guess I just don’t see it as a moral collapse point. I am worried about the impact, not because I think it will be worse than ever before , but because it’s different than ever before.

To be honest the gatekeepers are what put y'all in the game but not for the honorable reason you think lol like u actually think that the people who run this world would actually allow women to actually be free when they already had y'all on lock for centuries before women's rights? The truth is sadly, it's a too good to be true moment and they use women to kill the momentum of all men regardless of race to stop the powers that be tbh

Posted by Hatter1111
I want to preface this by saying this isnt aimed at any one particular person, just a trend that looks glaringly obvious to me, from a perspective that literally dumped all social media aside from DXP (because as dumb as some of the users can be, there is some actual depth here, about real shit, and I appreciate that) for about 15 years and has recently got back on.

Now on with my thoughts...

We're all a product of our parents, both physically as in we exist because of them, but also our whole operational system is a product of how we were treated by them. It affects everyone, there is no escaping it, and we pass parts of this onto the nexte generation. And im not talking generational trauma in the traditional sense.. Theres a generational theme/pattern that really starts to show up every new generation - the boomers' parents shaped them, the boomers shaped generations X amd the millennials, gen X and millennial as are shaping this generation, so on and so forth... the world is constantly changing, amd not always for the better, and even sometimeswhen it seems its better it has unintendedconsequences that we pay for down the road. Dating apps and social media, along with a generation of kids whose parents told them to suck it up, or I'll give you something to cry about, or really only gave achievement-based attention to their kids oftentimes pitting one child against another to outdo the other for attention (narcissistictupe mothers whose validation cones from their kids). These folks are now grown and having children of their own.. all while dating apps and SM has made shallow validation an achievement within itself... DOPAMINE is really the biggest addiction we have today imo..

In the past month alone so many 30-to early 40 year old girls (because they're really just immature girls IMO) have sent friend requests (local chicks that I either know, or have ran into at some point) then asked me if I wanted to see them nude.. then asked if id subscribe.. like what? I found you boring before, why would I pay to be bored by you again, only naked? It seems predatory. But is this more of a state of where a lot of guys are? It does seem like a lot of guys aren't really seen by women, or they're passed over, or they have these lofty expectations of what they deserve looks-wise, so the girls just exploit that with a fantasy that these guys buy into? Like a dopamine tradeoff - the guy can pretend shes actually atrracted to him, and she has another fly in her web.. Im really not sure? But, what makes me wonder most is, these girls have children, most of them ive seen, and thankfully they do state upfront tgat they have kids, but these kids are learning from mom, here... clearly dad either isnt in the picture, or just isnt involved enough to know whats going on, or so it would seem..

One of the girls ive known for a while, she has a daughter around 10, she just gave birth to a baby.. dad isnt in the picture.. not that he isnt present in the baby or mom's life, but literally isnt in any pictures. There is no evidence this man exists, yet people who know them know they're in a relationship and have been for some time now.. this girl posts selfie basically daily, hustles her subscriber shit, but not a single Pic of dad/boyfriend... now I have seen 1 of these types of girls post their boyfriend and laughed because she had zero attention or validation from that1 particular post, and she deleted it.

Now im seeing the one girl's daughter, the 10 yo, wearing makeup, has her own SM pages, and shes posing just like mom... shes 10.. she's the next gen.. what happens when she has kids? How far do we fall? Just a bunch of women who couldnt keep a conversation going if their life depended on it, but as soon as they think youre loosing interest "wanna see my tits?".. peak bimbo culture IMO

I get its the throw away culture the world lives in. - dont fix, just trash and move onto the next, ive been there and guilty myself, unfortunately.. but what do you forsee ad the culmination of all this?

I still cant wrap my mind around the fact that society still bitches about millionaires through the lense of industrial magnates, yet many, many, many Only fans girls have surpassed their local business owners in wealth, who actually employ and help to build the communities they're established in. And its a bunch of simp men who are paying the way, and incentivizing the next generation, also..

I hate all the shallow shit. I fucking hate it with all the passion I have, i fucking hate it. And I just see it as a bottomless pit, with people digging and refusing to drop the shovel.

I feel like this was a complaint about the symptom and not about the problem.

Women that do this are the product of their environment. They can only teach what they know.

This country prioritizes money, consumerism, independence, ambition, power, male dominance, masculinity and hard work over:

Family life

Leisure time

Education

Family values

Dignity

Self respect and respect for others/ your neighbor

Working together

Femininity

Equal opportunity

This message gets bombarded everywhere. Government, society, sometimes even family will not help you if you fail and go poor. You will not be lifted by others… you will be pushed aside.

So, if you come from an environment that is underprivileged… you will find people hustling in order to achieve what it takes to survive in this country that values what I listed as priorities.

Women have their bodies that can help them gain power, money, independence, masculinity, dominance in a male world… with Only Fans and it works.

Over 328 MILLION MALE subscribers. Why are you focusing on the women in business when the men are paying?!?

Why are they paying?

Are they fathers?

Why are they not using that money for their household/ children / wives / education / etc.?

Why are THEY not being analyzed, scrutinized and judged for not living up to higher standards?

There’s more men subscribers than content creators (4.6 million).

Men REALLY need to be questioned, analyzed, scrutinized, judged here, too. What is going on with that? How can that change?

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Hatter1111
I want to preface this by saying this isnt aimed at any one particular person, just a trend that looks glaringly obvious to me, from a perspective that literally dumped all social media aside from DXP (because as dumb as some of the users can be, there is some actual depth here, about real shit, and I appreciate that) for about 15 years and has recently got back on.

Now on with my thoughts...

We're all a product of our parents, both physically as in we exist because of them, but also our whole operational system is a product of how we were treated by them. It affects everyone, there is no escaping it, and we pass parts of this onto the nexte generation. And im not talking generational trauma in the traditional sense.. Theres a generational theme/pattern that really starts to show up every new generation - the boomers' parents shaped them, the boomers shaped generations X amd the millennials, gen X and millennial as are shaping this generation, so on and so forth... the world is constantly changing, amd not always for the better, and even sometimeswhen it seems its better it has unintendedconsequences that we pay for down the road. Dating apps and social media, along with a generation of kids whose parents told them to suck it up, or I'll give you something to cry about, or really only gave achievement-based attention to their kids oftentimes pitting one child against another to outdo the other for attention (narcissistictupe mothers whose validation cones from their kids). These folks are now grown and having children of their own.. all while dating apps and SM has made shallow validation an achievement within itself... DOPAMINE is really the biggest addiction we have today imo..

In the past month alone so many 30-to early 40 year old girls (because they're really just immature girls IMO) have sent friend requests (local chicks that I either know, or have ran into at some point) then asked me if I wanted to see them nude.. then asked if id subscribe.. like what? I found you boring before, why would I pay to be bored by you again, only naked? It seems predatory. But is this more of a state of where a lot of guys are? It does seem like a lot of guys aren't really seen by women, or they're passed over, or they have these lofty expectations of what they deserve looks-wise, so the girls just exploit that with a fantasy that these guys buy into? Like a dopamine tradeoff - the guy can pretend shes actually atrracted to him, and she has another fly in her web.. Im really not sure? But, what makes me wonder most is, these girls have children, most of them ive seen, and thankfully they do state upfront tgat they have kids, but these kids are learning from mom, here... clearly dad either isnt in the picture, or just isnt involved enough to know whats going on, or so it would seem..

One of the girls ive known for a while, she has a daughter around 10, she just gave birth to a baby.. dad isnt in the picture.. not that he isnt present in the baby or mom's life, but literally isnt in any pictures. There is no evidence this man exists, yet people who know them know they're in a relationship and have been for some time now.. this girl posts selfie basically daily, hustles her subscriber shit, but not a single Pic of dad/boyfriend... now I have seen 1 of these types of girls post their boyfriend and laughed because she had zero attention or validation from that1 particular post, and she deleted it.

Now im seeing the one girl's daughter, the 10 yo, wearing makeup, has her own SM pages, and shes posing just like mom... shes 10.. she's the next gen.. what happens when she has kids? How far do we fall? Just a bunch of women who couldnt keep a conversation going if their life depended on it, but as soon as they think youre loosing interest "wanna see my tits?".. peak bimbo culture IMO

I get its the throw away culture the world lives in. - dont fix, just trash and move onto the next, ive been there and guilty myself, unfortunately.. but what do you forsee ad the culmination of all this?

I still cant wrap my mind around the fact that society still bitches about millionaires through the lense of industrial magnates, yet many, many, many Only fans girls have surpassed their local business owners in wealth, who actually employ and help to build the communities they're established in. And its a bunch of simp men who are paying the way, and incentivizing the next generation, also..

I hate all the shallow shit. I fucking hate it with all the passion I have, i fucking hate it. And I just see it as a bottomless pit, with people digging and refusing to drop the shovel.

I feel like this was a complaint about the symptom and not about the problem.

Women that do this are the product of their environment. They can only teach what they know.

This country prioritizes money, consumerism, independence, ambition, power, male dominance, masculinity and hard work over:

Family life

Leisure time

Education

Family values

Dignity

Self respect and respect for others/ your neighbor

Working together

Femininity

Equal opportunity

This message gets bombarded everywhere. Government, society, sometimes even family will not help you if you fail and go poor. You will not be lifted by others… you will be pushed aside.

So, if you come from an environment that is underprivileged… you will find people hustling in order to achieve what it takes to survive in this country that values what I listed as priorities.

Women have their bodies that can help them gain power, money, independence, masculinity, dominance in a male world… with Only Fans and it works.

Over 328 MILLION MALE subscribers. Why are you focusing on the women in business when the men are paying?!?

Why are they paying?

Are they fathers?

Why are they not using that money for their household/ children / wives / education / etc.?

Why are THEY not being judged, analyzed, scrutinized and judged for not living up to higher standards?

There’s more men subscribers than content creators (4.6 million).

Men REALLY need to be questioned, analyzed, scrutinized, judged here, too. What is going on with that? How can that change?

click to expand

I mean they're kinda weaponizing the natural urge for men to fuck and using the fact that girls kinda are the gatekeepers of sex to their advantage by monetizing and shit

Posted by PilatesBod
Of course women can have egos, I just don’t think that explains the pattern you’re describing.

Very broadly speaking, a man’s masculinity is tied to his libido and sexual performance. A woman’s femininity is tied to modesty and being sexually reserved. This creates a dynamic where men feel more comfortable with sexual encounters if he feels like the woman’s sexuality is uniquely unlocked by him or that he earned the access to her.

But you keep interpreting women’s behaviors as intrinsic female traits rather than adaptive behaviors within a dynamic that men also shape.

Do you see where you’re engineering a dynamic and then acting as a neutral observer? As if you’re not the one who created it? Lol. You gave a woman a sexual challenge. Telling someone they can’t make you cum is sexual evaluation. You’re telling her she’s not desirable or competent. And then when she shows up and shows that she is competent, that shifts power and sounds like it was vulnerable for you. If she can perform on your level, she can now evaluate your performance too.

I am making a lot of assumptions here so if it doesn’t apply let it fly.

I might also be assuming, but I understood it just as you described as well.

@Hatter1111 - also had a part to play in this dynamic. And it was a dynamic - 2 people and the energy they brought together. Not just one person.

I will also say that I question this whole ego, validation, people pleasing thing. I just don’t immediately relate to this 🫤.

Firstly, I’ve only been in committed relationships when I have sex.

Secondly, I loved the men I had sex with… so, when I had sex with them it never felt performed, never felt like I was in my head, never felt the need to please.

My attention was more into having mutual pleasure emotional expression, abandon of the ego, souls emerging, sexual celebration kinda thing.

Thirdly, all of my sexual partners have been Water Sign Men, so this might be why it never felt like ego was in the room.

When I’ve shown ego, it could be at the beginning stages. A lot of banter… Virgo and fire sign men come to mind. But with them, we might have had sexual play but never home run. It’s fun, not serious or meaningful.

People pleasing - I do this mostly with those I love the most. Family, friends, my SO… and mostly in daily life. I’ve NEVER done this while having sex. NEVER felt pressured or a need to have to please. It’s always felt like pleasure was flowing back and forth… lots of receiving and giving. But receiving always came first and triggered me to feel pleasure and give back. Then after a while, I would give first and receive back.

I’ve never felt denied either. So, maybe that is also a reason for ego and validation to not be so prominent in me… I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

Posted by PilatesBod
Of course women can have egos, I just don’t think that explains the pattern you’re describing.

Very broadly speaking, a man’s masculinity is tied to his libido and sexual performance. A woman’s femininity is tied to modesty and being sexually reserved. This creates a dynamic where men feel more comfortable with sexual encounters if he feels like the woman’s sexuality is uniquely unlocked by him or that he earned the access to her.

But you keep interpreting women’s behaviors as intrinsic female traits rather than adaptive behaviors within a dynamic that men also shape.

Do you see where you’re engineering a dynamic and then acting as a neutral observer? As if you’re not the one who created it? Lol. You gave a woman a sexual challenge. Telling someone they can’t make you cum is sexual evaluation. You’re telling her she’s not desirable or competent. And then when she shows up and shows that she is competent, that shifts power and sounds like it was vulnerable for you. If she can perform on your level, she can now evaluate your performance too.

I am making a lot of assumptions here so if it doesn’t apply let it fly.

can she wat dos tat mean

or ok

wat if he fel tird or no want

sory