When men go overseas to find a bride...

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by ScorpioFish on Wednesday, October 23, 2013 and has 57 replies.
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Ladies and Gentlemen,
There has been considerable drive from men to go overseas to other countries to find a wife. What are your thoughts on this, and what do you think of this behavior? One also wonders the reasoning and motivation behind it. Please share your thoughts.
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Some want someone they can easily control, taking someone out of their country or away from their family unit makes the person compliant. There's noone to get in the way & whisper some words of caution, etc.
Some look for cultured people, as we all know, not every country is into SOME behaviours..most countries are conservative & respectful ie. The man is the head of the family etc.
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Men who do this are desperate. They need someone to control. 9 out of 10 these types of cases don't work out. Woman smartens up and moves on.
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Posted by tw1nk1e
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Men who do this are desperate. They need someone to control. 9 out of 10 these types of cases don't work out. Woman smartens up and moves on.


Woman gets her green card and then moves on.*
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Totally, I have seen this so many times. One fellow took her back to her country for a visit and left her there! She turned out to be a total psycho, according to him and couldn't get rid of her (he is responsible for her for 5 years here in Canada) ahh the stories!
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Men who do this are desperate. They need someone to control. 9 out of 10 these types of cases don't work out. Woman smartens up and moves on.


True & the women who allow themselves are desperate too. I was watching the story of Dr Nyce & his Asian wife. She came from a very poor family & was described as a dreamer..wishing for nice things. He brought her to America & after a few years she started an affair with a landscaper working on their yard. Dr Nyce killed her.
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Posted by WaterCup
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Men who do this are desperate. They need someone to control. 9 out of 10 these types of cases don't work out. Woman smartens up and moves on.


True & the women who allow themselves are desperate too. I was watching the story of Dr Nyce & his Asian wife. She came from a very poor family & was described as a dreamer..wishing for nice things. He brought her to America & after a few years she started an affair with a landscaper working on their yard. Dr Nyce killed her.
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I agree, both are desperate... some of these women prey on these somewhat older, lonely men Tongue
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Oh and women do this too btw... I think that has a better rate of success interestingly enough.
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(find someone to marry from another country)
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Oh and women do this too btw... I think that has a better rate of success interestingly enough.


Mail order grooms Tongue? Now that's interesting. I wouldn't trust the guy for as far as I could spit.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Men who do this are desperate. They need someone to control. 9 out of 10 these types of cases don't work out. Woman smartens up and moves on.


True & the women who allow themselves are desperate too. I was watching the story of Dr Nyce & his Asian wife. She came from a very poor family & was described as a dreamer..wishing for nice things. He brought her to America & after a few years she started an affair with a landscaper working on their yard. Dr Nyce killed her.


ya my ex bff scorpio DOCTOR did that, saw his wife on tv, went to my country and basically bought her
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Wow. Are they still together?
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Posted by WaterCup
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Oh and women do this too btw... I think that has a better rate of success interestingly enough.


Mail order grooms Tongue? Now that's interesting. I wouldn't trust the guy for as far as I could spit.
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for sure... I wonder why guys trust these women?
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I was referring to men who go to impoverished areas of the world to find themselves a woman/bride to bring home to take care of them. How is their behavior more predictable??
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A lot of the responses herein are thoughtful and constructive, so thank you for providing them.
I view a foreign marriage as a fail safe, simply because I have dated international women before and know how to get along with them.
Don's comment about American women often being obsessed with stupid crap is very true, and at the same time, many men I try to befriend are often also obsessed with stupid crap like the NFL.
This is why I often believe cultured, educated, intelligent, experienced and well-travelled men often feel compelled to give up on the gawdy, pretentious, arrogant, crude, crazy and stupid masses of women here in the USA today who wouldn't know the first thing about ethical and civil behavior in a divine institution such as matrimony.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Men who do this are desperate. They need someone to control. 9 out of 10 these types of cases don't work out. Woman smartens up and moves on.


True & the women who allow themselves are desperate too. I was watching the story of Dr Nyce & his Asian wife. She came from a very poor family & was described as a dreamer..wishing for nice things. He brought her to America & after a few years she started an affair with a landscaper working on their yard. Dr Nyce killed her.


ya my ex bff scorpio DOCTOR did that, saw his wife on tv, went to my country and basically bought her


Wow. Are they still together?


it happened recently about a year ago, i don't know, he blocked me from FB, and wont return my texts...
i hope she hurts him, but they'll probably have a fabulous life, he's very strategic
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LOL @ you hope she hurts him, I doubt it..most Horn women are faithful..it's the men who cheat. I know one couple, the wife is a stunning Eritrean girl & the husband is Ethiopian. She is 23/24 years old & the husband is 12 years older. He cheats on her with some really ugly women. They own a clothing shop & some of these girls go over there to make fun of her. She has no ass lol, so it's the only thing they pick on her about. It really breaks her heart that he chooses these beastly women over her.
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Posted by WaterCup
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Oh and women do this too btw... I think that has a better rate of success interestingly enough.


Mail order grooms Tongue? Now that's interesting. I wouldn't trust the guy for as far as I could spit.
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My husband was from Africa. While I would not say he married me for his green card, I'm no fool. I will say he took very good care of my financial needs. There was such a disconnect on culture, values, money, emotions I could go on and on. Every time I complained he would give me money. It worked for a long time and then one day it just didn't.
It was not good. For one I am American with a sharp tongue and he use to say to me "my mother would never talk to my father the way you talk to me".
Cultural differences are real. On the other hand my friend went to Brazil and got himself a supermodel looking wife and they are as happy as can be, I think. He wanted a trophy and she wanted to come here.
Life is short find happiness where and when you can even if it's temporary.
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Posted by RomancingA
Posted by ScorpioFish
A lot of the responses herein are thoughtful and constructive, so thank you for providing them.
I view a foreign marriage as a fail safe, simply because I have dated international women before and know how to get along with them.
Don's comment about American women often being obsessed with stupid crap is very true, and at the same time, many men I try to befriend are often also obsessed with stupid crap like the NFL.
This is why I often believe cultured, educated, intelligent, experienced and well-travelled men often feel compelled to give up on the gawdy, pretentious, arrogant, crude, crazy and stupid masses of women here in the USA today who wouldn't know the first thing about ethical and civil behavior in a divine institution such as matrimony.



LOL...calm down! I get you!
They are out there...if all you are finding is superficial women like you described then you have to wonder about the company you keep.
Nawwwwmmmm-sayin
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Yes, you are right. I often feel alone because of the experiences, understandings and things I have been through are totally unrelatable to most people out there.
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Posted by Nala13
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Oh and women do this too btw... I think that has a better rate of success interestingly enough.


Mail order grooms Tongue? Now that's interesting. I wouldn't trust the guy for as far as I could spit.


My husband was from Africa. While I would not say he married me for his green card, I'm no fool. I will say he took very good care of my financial needs. There was such a disconnect on culture, values, money, emotions I could go on and on. Every time I complained he would give me money. It worked for a long time and then one day it just didn't.
It was not good. For one I am American with a sharp tongue and he use to say to me "my mother would never talk to my father the way you talk to me".
Cultural differences are real. On the other hand my friend went to Brazil and got himself a supermodel looking wife and they are as happy as can be, I think. He wanted a trophy and she wanted to come here.
Life is short find happiness where and when you can even if it's temporary.
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Very true but the love must be sought under right conditions & be allowed some time to grow before any drastic steps are taken. I take love seriously, so I wouldn't 'order' a husband.
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I once dated this girl who insisted on paying for dinners sometimes, and she always gave good shoulder rubs and knew how to be respectful with me after I put 12 hours into a workday. It's not often I get that kind of appreciation with American women, and I am not exaggerating my statement either.
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And the American/African combo works for some, Ludacris has been with his Nigerian GF for years now. Like they say, love conquers all...not even cultural differences etc can stand in the way when two people have the same goal..to love & be with each other.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by WaterCup
And the American/African combo works for some, Ludacris has been with his Nigerian GF for years now. Like they say, love conquers all...not even cultural differences etc can stand in the way when two people have the same goal..to love & be with each other.


she's gorgeous and has that nigerian smart brain, he got lucky
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Yeah, she is beautiful.
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Posted by WaterCup
And the American/African combo works for some, Ludacris has been with his Nigerian GF for years now. Like they say, love conquers all...not even cultural differences etc can stand in the way when two people have the same goal..to love & be with each other.


I think American men with African women has a much better chance of working. In theory love should conquer all. Sadly, it does not otherwise the divorce rate wouldn't be nearly 50% at least in the U.S.
What I learned is that marriage is about waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than love. In fact, love is probably number 4 or 5 on the list. I blame Walt Disney for the idealized view I had of both.
My advice to anyone from here on out would be ...marry your best friend. If that person is not your best friend do not marry them. That's sounds corny but when you think about it that's what it would take to be successful.
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Sorry, Eudoxie is from Gabon, not Nigeria..maybe one of her parents is Nigerian.
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Posted by SugarAries
Posted by ScorpioFish
I once dated this girl who insisted on paying for dinners sometimes, and she always gave good shoulder rubs and knew how to be respectful with me after I put 12 hours into a workday. It's not often I get that kind of appreciation with American women, and I am not exaggerating my statement either.



I'm being completely sincere when I say that sounds very sad and if that is your experience with American women, I can see why you'd be discouraged but I would question the type of people you're attracting because what you're describing is just caring and common courtesy on a very basic level.
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I have met plenty of rotten eggs, and grow wary of ever finding a soul mate because of it.
The whole dating situation stinks these days.
Stinks!
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Posted by CluelessCancer
they're egotistic as heck, you mess with their' pride it's over!


Is this feeling of ego-centrism exclusive to a certain nationality? Which one?
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@CC..Eritrean men, best in Africa? Please look up Lunga Shabalala from MY country Tongue & please post a pic *drools in anticipation*
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by ScorpioFish
Posted by CluelessCancer
they're egotistic as heck, you mess with their' pride it's over!


Is this feeling of ego-centrism exclusive to a certain nationality? Which one?


AFRICAN men are the MOST EGOTISTIC men on planet EARTH, they're not VAGINAS my man, not YET anyways.
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Hmm.
So does this mean they are rude or arrogant or something?
What's the deal?
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Posted by Nala13
Posted by WaterCup
And the American/African combo works for some, Ludacris has been with his Nigerian GF for years now. Like they say, love conquers all...not even cultural differences etc can stand in the way when two people have the same goal..to love & be with each other.


I think American men with African women has a much better chance of working. In theory love should conquer all. Sadly, it does not otherwise the divorce rate wouldn't be nearly 50% at least in the U.S.
What I learned is that marriage is about waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than love. In fact, love is probably number 4 or 5 on the list. I blame Walt Disney for the idealized view I had of both.
My advice to anyone from here on out would be ...marry your best friend. If that person is not your best friend do not marry them. That's sounds corny but when you think about it that's what it would take to be successful.
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I can't argue with that because it's true lol. Marriage!
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by ScorpioFish
Posted by SugarAries
Posted by ScorpioFish
I once dated this girl who insisted on paying for dinners sometimes, and she always gave good shoulder rubs and knew how to be respectful with me after I put 12 hours into a workday. It's not often I get that kind of appreciation with American women, and I am not exaggerating my statement either.



I'm being completely sincere when I say that sounds very sad and if that is your experience with American women, I can see why you'd be discouraged but I would question the type of people you're attracting because what you're describing is just caring and common courtesy on a very basic level.


I have met plenty of rotten eggs, and grow wary of ever finding a soul mate because of it.
The whole dating situation stinks these days.
Stinks!


you must be unattractive if you can't pull ladies.
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Oh, yeah. I am hideously ugly. Truly a serious problem. Grotesque!
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Posted by ScorpioFish
Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by ScorpioFish
Posted by CluelessCancer
they're egotistic as heck, you mess with their' pride it's over!


Is this feeling of ego-centrism exclusive to a certain nationality? Which one?


AFRICAN men are the MOST EGOTISTIC men on planet EARTH, they're not VAGINAS my man, not YET anyways.


Hmm.
So does this mean they are rude or arrogant or something?
What's the deal?
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Honestly, they are very arrogant & chauvinistic
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CC..who's that now on the pic? Please post Lunga's pics too.
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Posted by tiziani
Yeah I think Disney still has a lot to answer for. I think anyone gets to a point where they feel more secure having tangible common goals in their relationship. Love is simply not a tangible goal.


Not only that but it is fickle. People fall out of love all the time. Without some other form of glue, it's a wrap.
@CC...Girl I could tell you some stories. The cultural differences are very real and I will give a few examples.
I would watch tv and bust out laughing. He would look at me like what's funny.
He would hold a 2 hour conversation in French right in front of me. I don't speak French it was very rude.
I would throw out left overs. He would say people in his country are starving and I am going to hell for being so wasteful.
I would dance. He said I was dancing like a stripper.
I wanted to have a baby. He said we needed 100K in the bank to have a baby. Well with my 975.00 that would never happen. He would say in his country poor people don't have babies.
I'm telling you if not for my Leo-ness and love of all things material I would have been long gone. Its a shame how transparent I am. He saw me coming a mile away.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by ScorpioFish
Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by ScorpioFish
Posted by CluelessCancer
they're egotistic as heck, you mess with their' pride it's over!


Is this feeling of ego-centrism exclusive to a certain nationality? Which one?


AFRICAN men are the MOST EGOTISTIC men on planet EARTH, they're not VAGINAS my man, not YET anyways.


Hmm.
So does this mean they are rude or arrogant or something?
What's the deal?


They're extremely arrogant, societies are patriarchal, so they're on top-they have alot of options and they know it. I've never met an African man who wasn't proud. They will not be insulted. If they are disrespected. Good bye. They're the Alpha of the Alpha male.
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Fact.
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Posted by Nala13
Posted by tiziani
Yeah I think Disney still has a lot to answer for. I think anyone gets to a point where they feel more secure having tangible common goals in their relationship. Love is simply not a tangible goal.


Not only that but it is fickle. People fall out of love all the time. Without some other form of glue, it's a wrap.
@CC...Girl I could tell you some stories. The cultural differences are very real and I will give a few examples.
I would watch tv and bust out laughing. He would look at me like what's funny.
He would hold a 2 hour conversation in French right in front of me. I don't speak French it was very rude.
I would throw out left overs. He would say people in his country are starving and I am going to hell for being so wasteful.
I would dance. He said I was dancing like a stripper.
I wanted to have a baby. He said we needed 100K in the bank to have a baby. Well with my 975.00 that would never happen. He would say in his country poor people don't have babies.
I'm telling you if not for my Leo-ness and love of all things material I would have been long gone. Its a shame how transparent I am. He saw me coming a mile away.

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where was he from?
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Now i'm going to go cry, cause i'll never fit in, i hate American society, i'm not african enough.
FML. time to go die. bye


Can you speak your language fluently?
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by CluelessCancer
Now i'm going to go cry, cause i'll never fit in, i hate American society, i'm not african enough.
FML. time to go die. bye


Can you speak your language fluently?



I can't speak any language fluently..but why i liked him so much is that he's fluent- in multiple languages...
i don't like African men who can't speak, why would i want one, whose going to speak to me and my children in english all the time.
to me culture is important.
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That's weird because most parents make sure to teach their kids their African language, English becomes a 2nd language at home.
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He's actually really attractive!
I can't remember how long ago it was that he had a profile pic up but then he took it down.
Hope you don't mind me saying so SF!




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Ok
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Posted by CluelessCancer
they have this stupid belief that if you are fluent in English and English alone you might become successful, plus many parents depended on their children to understand the language to help them...
South Africans and WEst Africans already speak English, for our parents it was NEW.


True, the English is bad lol..even after many years, most still struggle with it.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
My mom says lets go to the "BYTCH" when she wants to say "lets go to the Beach"
I DIE laughing.


LOL!
Maybe when they come from the cities, then they can speak English. Like Ethiopians from Addis Ababa can speak it, it's not good but they can speak it. Lalibela etc..most struggle.
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Posted by WaterCup
Posted by Nala13
Posted by tiziani
Y.






where was he from?
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Burkina Faso and he is a Capricorn and so hot ! But I'm done chasin waterfalls. I'm stick to the rivers and lakes that I'm use to.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Alot of men from my country go back to my country and pick out wives. I love stories about how they get cheated on, taken advantage of, etc ..lol


Same here, then regrets come after coz they even spend a lot of money to process all that butter for the woman to stay here legally.
Some women notice what's going on in the society n copy that then later change completely and later u hear divorce issues
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I'll just move overseas and jump that hurdle altogether lol
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Posted by tw1nk1e
Posted by ScorpioFish
A lot of the responses herein are thoughtful and constructive, so thank you for providing them.
I view a foreign marriage as a fail safe, simply because I have dated international women before and know how to get along with them.
Don's comment about American women often being obsessed with stupid crap is very true, and at the same time, many men I try to befriend are often also obsessed with stupid crap like the NFL.
This is why I often believe cultured, educated, intelligent, experienced and well-travelled men often feel compelled to give up on the gawdy, pretentious, arrogant, crude, crazy and stupid masses of women here in the USA today who wouldn't know the first thing about ethical and civil behavior in a divine institution such as matrimony.


If it's so easy for an American man to be cultured, educated, intelligent, experienced, and well-traveled why do you think it's so hard for an American woman to do the same?
I don't want to date American men either, but for a different reason entirely. But it's silly for me to say that there are no "good" American men left.
And I'm not out there paying someone to marry me. Ew.
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Hahaha.
You show me a responsible and beautiful American woman who is cultured, educated and not a total asshole, because I would love to meet her.
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IDK....not sure why these women think it's so much better over here, to be honest. Shit, if these men can't find a woman in their own country, that should tell you something from the get.
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If they think the American Dream still exists, they are sadly mistaken.
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And now I'm considering going over seas to find someone lol. Maybe somewhere out there, there's more to life and relationships than T&A.
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Posted by size zero superhero
Allow me to clarify, certain women similarly use this "beggars aren't choosers" principle to their advantage in relation to men.
The type I'm referring to are often viewed as defective by peers--whether the 'undesirable' label exists due to character flaws, self-presentation or she exhibits some misc. configuration of traits & behaviors deemed socially-unacceptable.(Some rightfully earn notoriety & others are misunderstood, but that's beside the point.)
Despite said women are largely viewed as unfit partners/wives; if they possess material goods like money, a home, car or all of the above? She's got something to offer the man without a pot to p! $ $ in. Even while the guy may be unimpressed with this woman or finds her less than appealing, they want to access benefits which are otherwise unavailable.
All that's expected of him is to say *the right things*, lay pipe and the sugar momma takes care of his needs. Lets him drive the car, eat up all the food, move in and play X-Box all day as a reward for sticking around and being a "kept man".
LOL not even joking, seen it happen.




I have to, a co-worker was recently dumped by her boy toy when she lost her job and told him he needed to go to work. He was out in less than month.
He was 32 and she 47.
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I meet plenty of American women that are domesticated, love to cook and take care of their man. These men are in fantasy land.
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Posted by Rabbit
These men want a traditional family model and it's difficult to find domestic women who share those values.


this

american women are stuck up and think their shit dont stink, that they are too good to talk to you.
i would rather find a foreign chick, even a woman from the UK over an american. im not handing out green cards though so its a fine line. hoping to be out of this country soon so maybe i can find love abroad. if i were to marry someone from the u.s. she would have to come from a different culture and be worldly. if they were born here chances are they will be americanized and the same as white chicks. most muricans are idiots and care about the stupidest shit. women have no domestic skills and men dont know how to do simple jobs around the house. of course not all are like this but finding one that isnt is like finding a needle in a haystack. dont get me started on the feminist sluts either....
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Posted by iwin32
I personally wouldn't do it myself, but that's just me. I don't want to go through the details of why not. On the other hand, my neighbor met his current wife on the Internet(she's from the Philippines), chat, and then met in person. They're now happily married.
Hey! Whatever floats your boat.


yep. Plenty. I've met lots of Russian/Ukraine women, very beautiful, and they are mail order brides. They never mention it, but when they talk about their lives and some detail, I get it. It's too shameful for them to admit they are "mail ordered" because of the "stigma". I believe that's everywhere in western countries.
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