Which do you value most?

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Resurrected
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That is a good question Honesty is good but I know for a fact that you can know the truth and still never stand on it because to walk in truth requires action. Loyalty is a powerful value as well because you need ride or die people in this life. Truth exposes you to the light and loyalty gives you support while going through the darkness. I can choose both hold high value to be its like the yin and the yang they need each other.
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Posted by Soul
Posted by VirgoDragirl
Impossible to answer. If you aint' honest then you ain't loyal. One can't be without the other.
Sure they can. You could be honest but loyal to no one, or loyal to everyone and lie about how you truly feel about it.

The question isn't impossible, just hard. It made red flags go off in your head which is normal.

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Would it fair to say that we're comparing the (possible) pain of an Honest person vs the

softer, easier path of a (seemingly) Loyal person who sugar-coats everything?


If so, then I would choose Honest.
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by GetMisted
I don't think you can have one without the other.
Course you can. Enneagram type 4.
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I think that you can one without the other depending on the person intention presenting you the information but I think when they both work together in synergy the possibilities are endless. If you tell me the truth (which is very only relevant depending on the person) without loyalty that information taken in will become eventually become grain of salt in my atmosphere unless it is just that profound.
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Keep in mind lots of people can be honest but not loyal, or loyal and not honest.

I could always tell you the truth of how I feel, but be unwilling to follow you trough every situation regardless of loyalty.

Or follow you onto every situation and secretly hate it while never telling the truth of how I feel.

I'm not trying to make one look better then the other, just using this as an example of why they both don't always exist within a person.

Most people want both to exist in the same sentence, but since this isn't a perfect world they often times don't.
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Posted by Resurrected
Posted by Gemican01
Loyalty for sure because the honest person can be like yes I honestly am cheating on you but the loyal person would never even have to admit to such a thing.
I would think that a loyal person who also not cheat.
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Ah great point, but they could. Loyalty isn't always honesty and honesty isnt always loyality. Sometimes they are far from each other.

What if the loyal person kept a secret to protect your feelings? A secret that would otherwise be put in the open? A loyal person might lie to protect you. They are in it for your best intentions and your feelings regardless of honesty.
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A loyal person needs a cause, an idea, a person to be loyal to. It doesn't stand on its own merit...you need the second half of the equation to understand if this person is loyal...to what exactly.

An honest person is only linked to truth as they see it. There's no need for another in the equation to slant the perception from what they hold as truth. Thefore their loyalty to truth goes beyond the general concept of loyalty the first person exhibits.
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If a person doesn't want to be loyal to you, for whatever reason is their right ... since it's their right to choose for themselves who they want to be faithful to. So, I dont' see a problem in someone not being loyal to me.


Be honest .. communicate it to me.


I don't see how it could be broken down any other way ... one doesn't have to present for the other to exist. These reasonings make no sense.


Tell the truth, and all is revealed to you. There is no worry about loyalty, because you know exactly where you stand.



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Damnata and Tiaziani

Both of you make good points but if I went they your definition of loyalty then it becomes very broad in reality. I know that each word has its own definition means something different and no matter who you are a human being can hurt you or go left plus in this society where people create their own definition to words instead of using the universal terms it all becomes a haze of colors anyway. I really want loyalty but I guess I would pick truth and not honesty. To me truth will always lead you back to your main destination or at least back on the path but loyalty can make you stay stuck and forget about the path and life can begin to stand still in a since as if you found a reality that you can live in even if it is lies but your are comfortable.
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Posted by Resurrected
Damnata and Tiaziani

Both of you make good points but if I went they your definition of loyalty then it becomes very broad in reality. I know that each word has its own definition means something different and no matter who you are a human being can hurt you or go left plus in this society where people create their own definition to words instead of using the universal terms it all becomes a haze of colors anyway. I really want loyalty but I guess I would pick truth and not honesty. To me truth will always lead you back to your main destination or at least back on the path but loyalty can make you stay stuck and forget about the path and life can begin to stand still in a since as if you found a reality that you can live in even if it is lies but your are comfortable.
I feel I could easily tell a lie to be loyal to a friend. I would also rather a friend tell a lie and be loyal as well, but the best part is the decision will always lead to a different destination. That's why it's so hard to chose.
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Posted by dontgetmewrong
The thing is, are they being loyal for the right reason ...
Loyalty can sometimes be using.
Third party reasons aside. We're kind of getting too deep here. I don't mean people secretly being loyal or secretly being honest to obtain gain in the end, just the basic vanilla meaning of loyality and honesty.

Which do you value most in yourself and others?
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Posted by dontgetmewrong
The thing is, are they being loyal for the right reason ...
Loyalty can sometimes be using.
Enabling would worry me more than using

" People don't always tell you what they are thinking. They just see to it that you don't advance in life"

Everyone will put self interest about everything else. But with the honest person, you'll find the motive straight up. With the loyal person..you won't even think of asking for a reason for this blind loyalty be it using or enabling...because you're washed in feelings of good and "someone's got my back". Someone who doesn't discriminate in how they apply loyalty..I can't trust that.
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Posted by Soul
Posted by Resurrected
Damnata and Tiaziani

Both of you make good points but if I went they your definition of loyalty then it becomes very broad in reality. I know that each word has its own definition means something different and no matter who you are a human being can hurt you or go left plus in this society where people create their own definition to words instead of using the universal terms it all becomes a haze of colors anyway. I really want loyalty but I guess I would pick truth and not honesty. To me truth will always lead you back to your main destination or at least back on the path but loyalty can make you stay stuck and forget about the path and life can begin to stand still in a since as if you found a reality that you can live in even if it is lies but your are comfortable.
I feel I could easily tell a lie to be loyal to a friend. I would also rather a friend tell a lie and be loyal as well, but the best part is the decision will always lead to a different destination. That's why it's so hard to chose.
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It is hard and I am sure choosing truth will be a lonely path sometimes and even I get caught up in the loyalty that I have around me so that this point it will be about courage. This choice reminds me of the Matrix when the key maker had to get down the long hallway to the last door and everyone else wanted to get lost in a new reality as they continued down the hallway. Not many people will make it to the end but for the person who does and did got the truth while the other people got the loyalty of the many doors of reality. So I guess loyalty all by its self with no other key factors to rear it in is and can only be a lie. I need a cluster of standards to create my circle and foundation.
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Posted by Soul
I guess in all honesty I personally fear honesty. I rather not know what's behind the door. It could be something bad I'll never forget, or something good even. I just rather not know.

Some things are better kept secret.

this.

besides: nobody knows the whole truth. I can use my fantasy and thinke one of n possible scenarios.

Once a man was chasing me and he went every day swimming with another girl. I did fantasy that they may sleep with each other. I did not tell or ask him anything. Time passed and he said he did sleep with her. So what? I don't even bother myself to see if he loved her, slept with her out of pity, or did he lie to see my reaction. All that is not my thing. Either we have good ideas for our journey together or not. Which other stories he has is not my beer. At the end there was neither a journey with me nor with that girl. But I had no hurt feelings. Nothing came from nothing.
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Posted by Soul
Which brings us to the next question.

About half picked loyality, half picked honesty. Very nice. Feel free to still answer.

Now you have go chose between loyality and honesty, (whichever you picked) or charity. So loyalty or chairty, honesty or charity. You can only pick one.

Which do you value most in yourself and others?
I would choose charity over honesty, if I had to choose. Charity is always helpful for those who receive it, and whether the giver is honest or not, doesn't change that.