Perfect Loneliness

Words are normally pathetic in conveying emotion. Hence, the reason for art. To put something a certain way to make another say, "I understand!" Or, "I've felt that way!" To create a commonality, almost like an empahtic rapport; sharing what's inside with another at a deeper level than literal words could ever impart. A sublime connection.

This first time I heard Counting Crows: Raining in Baltimore; I just understood. It's like if loneliness was given breath and form, it'll be this track.


This circus is falling down on its knees
The big top is crumbling down
It's raining in Baltimore fifty miles east
Where you should be, no one's around
I need a phone call
I need a raincoat
I need a big love
I need a phone call
These train conversations are passing me by
And I don't have nothing to say
You get what you pay for
But I just had no intention of living this way
I need a phone call
I need a plane ride
I need a sunburn
I need a raincoat
And I get no answers
And I don't get no change
It's raining in Baltimore, baby
But everything else is the same
There's things I remember and things I forget
I miss you I guess that I should
Three thousand five hundred miles away
But what would you change if you could?
I need a phone call Maybe I should buy a new car
I can always hear a freight train If I listen real hard
And I wish it was a small world
Because I'm lonely for the big towns
I'd like to hear a little guitar
I think it's time to put the top down
I need a phone call
I need a raincoat

What's your Phone number VirgoSquared?

well you can email it. Tears flowing down. A poetry is being created in my mind.

once upon a time there was lov in my life but now ther is only sex in the dark,

:^)

I set alone in the darkness of my lonely room and this room is a prison to me.

VirgoSquared,

I can feel the pain even if it is not from the same place that it comes from.

I am sorry guys I gotta run, had my son at the walk in clinic last night because he could not urinate. He tried for twelve hours without sucess. They had to cathorize him, and got over 1,000 cc's of liquid out of his bladder. He was starting to go septic on us and pass out. We went back to the clinic this morning to have it taken out and pick up a couple of meds for him. The meds are not working like they should and he just told me he cant go again. So I must take him into the emergency department at the hospitol. I dont know just what they will do now, but we have to find out what is causing this and fix it.

I am so upset and worried about this I just dont know what to do! Anyway I will return later and let everyone know how it went, that is if he is not kept in the hospitol.

Gotta run! TW2

Well we are back, they put another cath in and took it out before we left the ER. They added a third medicine to try to help and we are going to see a specialist soon.

They ran a few tests but can not seem to find the cause for this to be happening. So we will just have to look deeper into things to find an answer.

Just wanted to let you guys know how things came out so far.
It is so wierd that this is happening, we just cant figure it out at all.

TW2

Hi TW2!

Let me begin with wishing that you have a very good new year, specially considering what you are going through. My heart reaches out to you. What I love about you is that amidst all that is happening you don't forget us-the Duncan Gang. That is very commendable. I am very glad that you consider this board so special enough to share your life, no matter how much trauma you are going through.
Here wishing your son a speedy recovery. Whenever I say my prayers I will say a special one for him. Just talk to god as if he is there with you-accessible.

Lots of Hugs

Looney Bird.

Thank you so much Looneybird for you kind words, Well we have resolution at least for now. The third medication has helped, he is able to relieve himself again. Boy I was not looking forward to another medical visit with him. He was such a trooper through it all. I know it hurt alot but he was so brave. I was proud of him for being so mature about it all, he is only fourteen after all. We are still going to go to the specialist to check this out as not real cause was ever found. This is the first case the doctors have ever seen in a teenager without any underlying reason. So we will just have to wait and see if the cause can be discovered. I sure hope it does not happen again, as I dont wish any more trama for him to endure.

It was an unusual new years eve for us, we were together at the hospitol when it struck 12:00. Thanks for being here again to listen, you guys are great.

TW2

Oh yes and VirgoSquared,

I am very sorry to you as well, it was not my intension to direct this post away from what you are going through at all. Please forgive me.

TW2

Twinflame2,

Sweetness lol. Come on, forgiveness for what?

No, my post wasn't meant that way. I don't claim ownership 🙂 And to say, "what I'm going through" makes me feel a little weird.

Speak your peace. I understand. I spent the night in the emergency room myself on New Years Eve a few years back. Even came home from a month's hospital stay on a New Years, last year actually, so trust, I understand. To say it sucks is an understatement. Get it off your chest, sometimes it helps.

I truly hope everything works out.

VirgoSquared

I love Counting Crows.

As Hank would say I am so lonsome I could die.