Posted by Boots1313Well firstly, a true healthy and sincere friend would not just ghost you and slowly push you out with a silent force. That is NOT a true friend the same way you wouldn’t accept a significant other just vanishing from your life with no explanation or conversation before hand, you should not be tolerating this. If you did something wrong, your friends should have had the guts to confront you at least and speak with you about it illustrating exactly what it was that bothered them or upset them. They shouldn’t leave you to piece it together with no substance or awareness. That can drive you crazy thinking of all the possibilities when really you have no idea and no inclination to go on. Do not over think it or allow yourself to feel that you’re a horrific friend or a horrible individual UNLESS you know full well that you’ve done something blatantly malicious. However if you look back and know that your intentions were never coming from a place of ill will and you’ve tried your best (also remember your best is subjective and no one can dictate to you what your best is) then know that they are not true friends and learn to come to peace with it. I wouldn’t sweep it under the rug but I would be very honest and to the point and confront each and every one of them about how you’re feeling or have been made to feel. Listen, what the fuck is this I’m not on their level shit? You absolutely are and are in fact above their level because you’ve risen above the need to constantly party and waste time. It is a waste of time. It’s not productive, it isn’t mature, it isn’t even that fun, it’s over rated and you’re focusing on much bigger and better things now. Know that. Be confident in that. They’re still juvenile and are drowning their own feeling of inadequacy in partying and drinking it up. Also just because you have a different life style now and have levelled up, they’re ignoring you and excluding you? That is some absolute bullshit. Is your only common interest partying previously? Or doing surface level meaningless things? Friendship is deeper than that, much deeper. They sound very immature and frivolous and I would move on to greener pastures and better people. Better quality people.
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll write lil comments on their fb/Instagram posts. They dont respond and they don't "like" anything I post. No that I post a lot of those Instagram videos things/fb...but when I do none of them watch it.
I'm feel really sad and I just dont know what I did, or what else I can do?!
To be honest we have been growing apart. None of them are in relationships and they like to go out alot. (I'm very introverted). I dont feel I'm on their level anymore and I cant really relate, but I still love them dearly.
I have an engagement party coming up, and they are all going to be there and I'm starting to get anxiety to see them. I can get confrontational when hurt and I dint want to offend them or call them out. I also dont want to be ignored . I'm jistvhaving major anxiety and sadness about the whole situation and in very lost about what to do...
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aBut when you’re in a relationship, you would need to invest time in your partner. It’s a very natural occurrence and does happen. Yes I agree you shouldn’t completely ghost friends or make your interactions every three months because it’s extremely important to retain your own identity and sense of self and personal friendships outside of your relationship, but you wouldn’t have the exact same amount of time as before.
i feel like maybe you're one of those people who disappear on their friends when they get in a relationship.. alwas posting couple photos on social media.. i'm beginning to think this must be some venusian thing..
but the whole thing seems planned by them.. what do you speculate as a reason for this?
Posted by CoochiecoochiecooPosted by Boots1313Well firstly, a true healthy and sincere friend would not just ghost you and slowly push you out with a silent force. That is NOT a true friend the same way you wouldn’t accept a significant other just vanishing from your life with no explanation or conversation before hand, you should not be tolerating this. If you did something wrong, your friends should have had the guts to confront you at least and speak with you about it illustrating exactly what it was that bothered them or upset them. They shouldn’t leave you to piece it together with no substance or awareness. That can drive you crazy thinking of all the possibilities when really you have no idea and no inclination to go on. Do not over think it or allow yourself to feel that you’re a horrific friend or a horrible individual UNLESS you know full well that you’ve done something blatantly malicious. However if you look back and know that your intentions were never coming from a place of ill will and you’ve tried your best (also remember your best is subjective and no one can dictate to you what your best is) then know that they are not true friends and learn to come to peace with it. I wouldn’t sweep it under the rug but I would be very honest and to the point and confront each and every one of them about how you’re feeling or have been made to feel. Listen, what the fuck is this I’m not on their level shit? You absolutely are and are in fact above their level because you’ve risen above the need to constantly party and waste time. It is a waste of time. It’s not productive, it isn’t mature, it isn’t even that fun, it’s over rated and you’re focusing on much bigger and better things now. Know that. Be confident in that. They’re still juvenile and are drowning their own feeling of inadequacy in partying and drinking it up. Also just because you have a different life style now and have levelled up, they’re ignoring you and excluding you? That is some absolute bullshit. Is your only common interest partying previously? Or doing surface level meaningless things? Friendship is deeper than that, much deeper. They sound very immature and frivolous and I would move on to greener pastures and better people. Better quality people.
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll write lil comments on their fb/Instagram posts. They dont respond and they don't "like" anything I post. No that I post a lot of those Instagram videos things/fb...but when I do none of them watch it.
I'm feel really sad and I just dont know what I did, or what else I can do?!
To be honest we have been growing apart. None of them are in relationships and they like to go out alot. (I'm very introverted). I dont feel I'm on their level anymore and I cant really relate, but I still love them dearly.
I have an engagement party coming up, and they are all going to be there and I'm starting to get anxiety to see them. I can get confrontational when hurt and I dint want to offend them or call them out. I also dont want to be ignored . I'm jistvhaving major anxiety and sadness about the whole situation and in very lost about what to do...click to expand
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a
i feel like maybe you're one of those people who disappear on their friends when they get in a relationship.. always posting couple photos on social media.. i'm beginning to think this must be some venusian thing..
but the whole thing seems planned by them.. what do you speculate as a reason for this?
Posted by tiziani
Do you have problems with them in person?
Holing up and judging your relationships by social media isn't my idea of how to handle anxiety. But you'd know better than me.
I wouldn't egg myself on by thinking the worst of them here right before you have an engagement party where you know they'll be guests. It just guarantees a bad time.
It could be they just don't have time for your interests while they're doing their own thing, and vice versa. There are things I'd confront face to face if anything.
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313you might also just be in different stages in life right now.. maybe when they get paired up, they'd come around.. this is why i've always theorized that being in a relationship makes you 'nicer' or at least less shitty as a personPosted by CoochiecoochiecooPosted by Boots1313Well firstly, a true healthy and sincere friend would not just ghost you and slowly push you out with a silent force. That is NOT a true friend the same way you wouldn’t accept a significant other just vanishing from your life with no explanation or conversation before hand, you should not be tolerating this. If you did something wrong, your friends should have had the guts to confront you at least and speak with you about it illustrating exactly what it was that bothered them or upset them. They shouldn’t leave you to piece it together with no substance or awareness. That can drive you crazy thinking of all the possibilities when really you have no idea and no inclination to go on. Do not over think it or allow yourself to feel that you’re a horrific friend or a horrible individual UNLESS you know full well that you’ve done something blatantly malicious. However if you look back and know that your intentions were never coming from a place of ill will and you’ve tried your best (also remember your best is subjective and no one can dictate to you what your best is) then know that they are not true friends and learn to come to peace with it. I wouldn’t sweep it under the rug but I would be very honest and to the point and confront each and every one of them about how you’re feeling or have been made to feel. Listen, what the fuck is this I’m not on their level shit? You absolutely are and are in fact above their level because you’ve risen above the need to constantly party and waste time. It is a waste of time. It’s not productive, it isn’t mature, it isn’t even that fun, it’s over rated and you’re focusing on much bigger and better things now. Know that. Be confident in that. They’re still juvenile and are drowning their own feeling of inadequacy in partying and drinking it up. Also just because you have a different life style now and have levelled up, they’re ignoring you and excluding you? That is some absolute bullshit. Is your only common interest partying previously? Or doing surface level meaningless things? Friendship is deeper than that, much deeper. They sound very immature and frivolous and I would move on to greener pastures and better people. Better quality people.
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll write lil comments on their fb/Instagram posts. They dont respond and they don't "like" anything I post. No that I post a lot of those Instagram videos things/fb...but when I do none of them watch it.
I'm feel really sad and I just dont know what I did, or what else I can do?!
To be honest we have been growing apart. None of them are in relationships and they like to go out alot. (I'm very introverted). I dont feel I'm on their level anymore and I cant really relate, but I still love them dearly.
I have an engagement party coming up, and they are all going to be there and I'm starting to get anxiety to see them. I can get confrontational when hurt and I dint want to offend them or call them out. I also dont want to be ignored . I'm jistvhaving major anxiety and sadness about the whole situation and in very lost about what to do...
I hate saying it in those terms and saying they are juvenile...but what you said I'd exactly true. Our friendships developed 5 years ago...and yeah I was in a different place and really into the local music scene and partying.
My boyfriend has pointed out to me that there was never much substance to the friendships, but doesnt mean I dont care about these people.
You're right, I need to focus on what I'm doing, and I keep telling myself I'll form new friendships.click to expand
Posted by tizianiPosted by Boots1313Ah ok, then it definitely seems like a freeze out, you're right. So you DID confront them.Posted by tiziani
Do you have problems with them in person?
Holing up and judging your relationships by social media isn't my idea of how to handle anxiety. But you'd know better than me.
I wouldn't egg myself on by thinking the worst of them here right before you have an engagement party where you know they'll be guests. It just guarantees a bad time.
It could be they just don't have time for your interests while they're doing their own thing, and vice versa. There are things I'd confront face to face if anything.
Yes you cant judge based off a social media but this was a friend group that up until a month ago I would see 3xs a week.
We would all meet up at my friends house and talk and hang after work. I havent been invited to do this in a month. And I've tried texting and saying "hey what's up? What going on tonight"..."nothing, along to bed tired" and I say "ok, Miss you guys. Let me know next time ya'll are hanging "...the weekend passes no texts or calls and the big see on fb/social media pics of them hanging and silly like inside jokes.
I cant help but feel they all ganged up and were like "were not inviting her anymore"
Listen, I can be blunt and the last time we hangout I said to then I felt uncomfortable with their use of cocaine and i miss the old them.
If that was too harsh and a reason to stop talking to me...then maybe good riddence?
Then yeah you've got to be convinced with your choice. It sucks that it got mixed up with the anxiety, so I can't say anything more as I've no idea how that goes.click to expand
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313maybe they're not comfortable with you around coz they find you 'inaccessible' now that you're in a relationshipPosted by s_i_e_r_r_a
i feel like maybe you're one of those people who disappear on their friends when they get in a relationship.. always posting couple photos on social media.. i'm beginning to think this must be some venusian thing..
but the whole thing seems planned by them.. what do you speculate as a reason for this?
Lol out of the 7 months I've been with my bf I've posted 3 photos to social media of us.
I'm not one of those mushy gushy posters. On this sight a little bit. I'm okay with strangers knowing my peronsalnlife but not my fb friends (bosses, my grandmother, other random people)
I do talk about him often, but I'm happy and I enjoy our relationship.
My friends talk about their never ending parade of one night stands constantly...I cant talk about my relationship too?
It is hard for me to balance work, a relationship and friendship. My relationship does come first but my friendships are a close 2nd and I was ALWays making an effort at least 2 days a week to get lunch, or meet up after work for a drink. But I also realize I was always making the effort, none of them.
When I stopped...that's when I realized they were pushing me away...
my closest friends are all currently single, most had terrible breakups and bad hookups.. when i talk about my relationship, sometimes i feel them zoning out and i can't really blame them..click to expand
Posted by VictoriousPosted by Boots1313So there you go.Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313maybe they're not comfortable with you around coz they find you 'inaccessible' now that you're in a relationshipPosted by s_i_e_r_r_a
i feel like maybe you're one of those people who disappear on their friends when they get in a relationship.. always posting couple photos on social media.. i'm beginning to think this must be some venusian thing..
but the whole thing seems planned by them.. what do you speculate as a reason for this?
Lol out of the 7 months I've been with my bf I've posted 3 photos to social media of us.
I'm not one of those mushy gushy posters. On this sight a little bit. I'm okay with strangers knowing my peronsalnlife but not my fb friends (bosses, my grandmother, other random people)
I do talk about him often, but I'm happy and I enjoy our relationship.
My friends talk about their never ending parade of one night stands constantly...I cant talk about my relationship too?
It is hard for me to balance work, a relationship and friendship. My relationship does come first but my friendships are a close 2nd and I was ALWays making an effort at least 2 days a week to get lunch, or meet up after work for a drink. But I also realize I was always making the effort, none of them.
When I stopped...that's when I realized they were pushing me away...
my closest friends are all currently single, most had terrible breakups and bad hookups.. when i talk about my relationship, sometimes i feel them zoning out and i can't really blame them..
My friends dont tall about anything of substance. I've tried talking to then about news And politics, Tried starting philosophical debates, talking about trips and vacations and places to go...it just turns into boy tall. Failed relationships and what bands are playing in the next week.
Then I zone out...
You have nothing in common aside from partying. You don't do that anymore.click to expand
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313keep them as fair-weather friends if you likePosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313you might also just be in different stages in life right now.. maybe when they get paired up, they'd come around.. this is why i've always theorized that being in a relationship makes you 'nicer' or at least less shitty as a personPosted by CoochiecoochiecooPosted by Boots1313Well firstly, a true healthy and sincere friend would not just ghost you and slowly push you out with a silent force. That is NOT a true friend the same way you wouldn’t accept a significant other just vanishing from your life with no explanation or conversation before hand, you should not be tolerating this. If you did something wrong, your friends should have had the guts to confront you at least and speak with you about it illustrating exactly what it was that bothered them or upset them. They shouldn’t leave you to piece it together with no substance or awareness. That can drive you crazy thinking of all the possibilities when really you have no idea and no inclination to go on. Do not over think it or allow yourself to feel that you’re a horrific friend or a horrible individual UNLESS you know full well that you’ve done something blatantly malicious. However if you look back and know that your intentions were never coming from a place of ill will and you’ve tried your best (also remember your best is subjective and no one can dictate to you what your best is) then know that they are not true friends and learn to come to peace with it. I wouldn’t sweep it under the rug but I would be very honest and to the point and confront each and every one of them about how you’re feeling or have been made to feel. Listen, what the fuck is this I’m not on their level shit? You absolutely are and are in fact above their level because you’ve risen above the need to constantly party and waste time. It is a waste of time. It’s not productive, it isn’t mature, it isn’t even that fun, it’s over rated and you’re focusing on much bigger and better things now. Know that. Be confident in that. They’re still juvenile and are drowning their own feeling of inadequacy in partying and drinking it up. Also just because you have a different life style now and have levelled up, they’re ignoring you and excluding you? That is some absolute bullshit. Is your only common interest partying previously? Or doing surface level meaningless things? Friendship is deeper than that, much deeper. They sound very immature and frivolous and I would move on to greener pastures and better people. Better quality people.
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll write lil comments on their fb/Instagram posts. They dont respond and they don't "like" anything I post. No that I post a lot of those Instagram videos things/fb...but when I do none of them watch it.
I'm feel really sad and I just dont know what I did, or what else I can do?!
To be honest we have been growing apart. None of them are in relationships and they like to go out alot. (I'm very introverted). I dont feel I'm on their level anymore and I cant really relate, but I still love them dearly.
I have an engagement party coming up, and they are all going to be there and I'm starting to get anxiety to see them. I can get confrontational when hurt and I dint want to offend them or call them out. I also dont want to be ignored . I'm jistvhaving major anxiety and sadness about the whole situation and in very lost about what to do...
I hate saying it in those terms and saying they are juvenile...but what you said I'd exactly true. Our friendships developed 5 years ago...and yeah I was in a different place and really into the local music scene and partying.
My boyfriend has pointed out to me that there was never much substance to the friendships, but doesnt mean I dont care about these people.
You're right, I need to focus on what I'm doing, and I keep telling myself I'll form new friendships.
Yeah maybe, they are alot more flexible on their lives in general. Working, finally, living situation, relationships.
I'm more routine...in bed by 11...8 hours of sleep. Work, chores. Relaxation time.
They can and do go out to the bar basically Monday thru Sunday (no joke) and I'll occasionally come out for an hour or two and I guess to then that just isnt enough time for me to be fun for them.
Oh well, I like my life style ...maybe they will now become fair weather friends.
some people just fit that role like a glove
and tbh maybe they don't know how to act around you.. if y'all go out when they're trying to get laid, they'd find it awkward dealing with you.. in fact, maybe they think the friendship and what it brings is a mutual inconvenience for all sides
i always leave when i feel like i'm being a botherclick to expand
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313you just gotta roll with itPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313keep them as fair-weather friends if you likePosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313you might also just be in different stages in life right now.. maybe when they get paired up, they'd come around.. this is why i've always theorized that being in a relationship makes you 'nicer' or at least less shitty as a personPosted by CoochiecoochiecooPosted by Boots1313Well firstly, a true healthy and sincere friend would not just ghost you and slowly push you out with a silent force. That is NOT a true friend the same way you wouldn’t accept a significant other just vanishing from your life with no explanation or conversation before hand, you should not be tolerating this. If you did something wrong, your friends should have had the guts to confront you at least and speak with you about it illustrating exactly what it was that bothered them or upset them. They shouldn’t leave you to piece it together with no substance or awareness. That can drive you crazy thinking of all the possibilities when really you have no idea and no inclination to go on. Do not over think it or allow yourself to feel that you’re a horrific friend or a horrible individual UNLESS you know full well that you’ve done something blatantly malicious. However if you look back and know that your intentions were never coming from a place of ill will and you’ve tried your best (also remember your best is subjective and no one can dictate to you what your best is) then know that they are not true friends and learn to come to peace with it. I wouldn’t sweep it under the rug but I would be very honest and to the point and confront each and every one of them about how you’re feeling or have been made to feel. Listen, what the fuck is this I’m not on their level shit? You absolutely are and are in fact above their level because you’ve risen above the need to constantly party and waste time. It is a waste of time. It’s not productive, it isn’t mature, it isn’t even that fun, it’s over rated and you’re focusing on much bigger and better things now. Know that. Be confident in that. They’re still juvenile and are drowning their own feeling of inadequacy in partying and drinking it up. Also just because you have a different life style now and have levelled up, they’re ignoring you and excluding you? That is some absolute bullshit. Is your only common interest partying previously? Or doing surface level meaningless things? Friendship is deeper than that, much deeper. They sound very immature and frivolous and I would move on to greener pastures and better people. Better quality people.
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll write lil comments on their fb/Instagram posts. They dont respond and they don't "like" anything I post. No that I post a lot of those Instagram videos things/fb...but when I do none of them watch it.
I'm feel really sad and I just dont know what I did, or what else I can do?!
To be honest we have been growing apart. None of them are in relationships and they like to go out alot. (I'm very introverted). I dont feel I'm on their level anymore and I cant really relate, but I still love them dearly.
I have an engagement party coming up, and they are all going to be there and I'm starting to get anxiety to see them. I can get confrontational when hurt and I dint want to offend them or call them out. I also dont want to be ignored . I'm jistvhaving major anxiety and sadness about the whole situation and in very lost about what to do...
I hate saying it in those terms and saying they are juvenile...but what you said I'd exactly true. Our friendships developed 5 years ago...and yeah I was in a different place and really into the local music scene and partying.
My boyfriend has pointed out to me that there was never much substance to the friendships, but doesnt mean I dont care about these people.
You're right, I need to focus on what I'm doing, and I keep telling myself I'll form new friendships.
Yeah maybe, they are alot more flexible on their lives in general. Working, finally, living situation, relationships.
I'm more routine...in bed by 11...8 hours of sleep. Work, chores. Relaxation time.
They can and do go out to the bar basically Monday thru Sunday (no joke) and I'll occasionally come out for an hour or two and I guess to then that just isnt enough time for me to be fun for them.
Oh well, I like my life style ...maybe they will now become fair weather friends.
some people just fit that role like a glove
and tbh maybe they don't know how to act around you.. if y'all go out when they're trying to get laid, they'd find it awkward dealing with you.. in fact, maybe they think the friendship and what it brings is a mutual inconvenience for all sides
i always leave when i feel like i'm being a bother
It's not really like we go out ina group and are attached at the hip. The ONE bar we go to is filled with 100s of locals. So we all go off and fo our own thing, one person's awkwardness doesnt affects anyone's chances of getting laid. When I feel socially inept I just say bye and bounce. Nbd really...so it's not that.
But yeah I'll just keep them as occasional friends.
But what do I do when I see them next weekend at the engagement party?
This is where I'm freaking out in my head
it's not like you can uninvite them
but if you're super uncomfortable,
let that be the last time you reach out to them for awhile until they initiateclick to expand
Posted by Boots1313Just take extra shots to keep up with their lines.Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313you just gotta roll with itPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313keep them as fair-weather friends if you likePosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by Boots1313you might also just be in different stages in life right now.. maybe when they get paired up, they'd come around.. this is why i've always theorized that being in a relationship makes you 'nicer' or at least less shitty as a personPosted by CoochiecoochiecooPosted by Boots1313Well firstly, a true healthy and sincere friend would not just ghost you and slowly push you out with a silent force. That is NOT a true friend the same way you wouldn’t accept a significant other just vanishing from your life with no explanation or conversation before hand, you should not be tolerating this. If you did something wrong, your friends should have had the guts to confront you at least and speak with you about it illustrating exactly what it was that bothered them or upset them. They shouldn’t leave you to piece it together with no substance or awareness. That can drive you crazy thinking of all the possibilities when really you have no idea and no inclination to go on. Do not over think it or allow yourself to feel that you’re a horrific friend or a horrible individual UNLESS you know full well that you’ve done something blatantly malicious. However if you look back and know that your intentions were never coming from a place of ill will and you’ve tried your best (also remember your best is subjective and no one can dictate to you what your best is) then know that they are not true friends and learn to come to peace with it. I wouldn’t sweep it under the rug but I would be very honest and to the point and confront each and every one of them about how you’re feeling or have been made to feel. Listen, what the fuck is this I’m not on their level shit? You absolutely are and are in fact above their level because you’ve risen above the need to constantly party and waste time. It is a waste of time. It’s not productive, it isn’t mature, it isn’t even that fun, it’s over rated and you’re focusing on much bigger and better things now. Know that. Be confident in that. They’re still juvenile and are drowning their own feeling of inadequacy in partying and drinking it up. Also just because you have a different life style now and have levelled up, they’re ignoring you and excluding you? That is some absolute bullshit. Is your only common interest partying previously? Or doing surface level meaningless things? Friendship is deeper than that, much deeper. They sound very immature and frivolous and I would move on to greener pastures and better people. Better quality people.
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll write lil comments on their fb/Instagram posts. They dont respond and they don't "like" anything I post. No that I post a lot of those Instagram videos things/fb...but when I do none of them watch it.
I'm feel really sad and I just dont know what I did, or what else I can do?!
To be honest we have been growing apart. None of them are in relationships and they like to go out alot. (I'm very introverted). I dont feel I'm on their level anymore and I cant really relate, but I still love them dearly.
I have an engagement party coming up, and they are all going to be there and I'm starting to get anxiety to see them. I can get confrontational when hurt and I dint want to offend them or call them out. I also dont want to be ignored . I'm jistvhaving major anxiety and sadness about the whole situation and in very lost about what to do...
I hate saying it in those terms and saying they are juvenile...but what you said I'd exactly true. Our friendships developed 5 years ago...and yeah I was in a different place and really into the local music scene and partying.
My boyfriend has pointed out to me that there was never much substance to the friendships, but doesnt mean I dont care about these people.
You're right, I need to focus on what I'm doing, and I keep telling myself I'll form new friendships.
Yeah maybe, they are alot more flexible on their lives in general. Working, finally, living situation, relationships.
I'm more routine...in bed by 11...8 hours of sleep. Work, chores. Relaxation time.
They can and do go out to the bar basically Monday thru Sunday (no joke) and I'll occasionally come out for an hour or two and I guess to then that just isnt enough time for me to be fun for them.
Oh well, I like my life style ...maybe they will now become fair weather friends.
some people just fit that role like a glove
and tbh maybe they don't know how to act around you.. if y'all go out when they're trying to get laid, they'd find it awkward dealing with you.. in fact, maybe they think the friendship and what it brings is a mutual inconvenience for all sides
i always leave when i feel like i'm being a bother
It's not really like we go out ina group and are attached at the hip. The ONE bar we go to is filled with 100s of locals. So we all go off and fo our own thing, one person's awkwardness doesnt affects anyone's chances of getting laid. When I feel socially inept I just say bye and bounce. Nbd really...so it's not that.
But yeah I'll just keep them as occasional friends.
But what do I do when I see them next weekend at the engagement party?
This is where I'm freaking out in my head
it's not like you can uninvite them
but if you're super uncomfortable,
let that be the last time you reach out to them for awhile until they initiate
It's not my engagement party lol a mutual friend...so I definitely cant uninvited them.
My s.o isnt even going ao I feel I'll be a wall flower there.. the girl throwing the party is one of main people in the group, so I dont know how her feelings are toward me...le sighclick to expand
Posted by tiziani
so you're thinking you have to show up to a party where they say you can't sit with them?
Posted by tizianiPosted by Boots1313I'd say show up and you know... don't let the anxiety win but I'd be a hypocrite. I've bailed in the past.Posted by tiziani
so you're thinking you have to show up to a party where they say you can't sit with them?
essentially yes...
Was going to be the party of the year....
And a month ago I was super excited about it. Now I have no idea what's going to happen.click to expand
Posted by TheRabbitYes. Yes.
Sounds to me like you might be maturing faster than they are.
Posted by heliumfiascoThey should speak to her about it if there is an issue and be straight forward and honest. Not just disappear on her and slowly push her the fuck out of a group. That is extremely cowardly and immature. No grown adult should behave like that if they have any moral grounding and consideration for others. She’s mentioned that they indulge in a whole host of stupidity and she’s outgrown them. She’s matured and found a better and healthier path. Also a person shouldn’t have to over think every single action of theirs in order to serve or pander to others if their intention is pure, clean and it’s coming from a place of goodness and morality. She has evolved in to a better more intellectual human being and they can’t handle it. She shouldn’t have to lower herself to meet them at their level instead they should rise up to meet her at hers. I’m a firm believer that a person shouldn’t have to change themselves if they don’t have a fundamental personality flaw/aren’t evil or malicious in order to appease others but instead should embrace the best version of themselves in order to attract their people.
I obviously dont know you or your friends. But i'll assume that if these are people you love and like to surround yourself with that you respect their judgement? Don't find them to be irrational? I have a typical philosophy in life and that is the "common denominator"... if an entire group of people have decided to distance themselves, it probably isnt them. Use this time to really self evaluate what it is that you could be doing that made an ENTIRE group of people close to you back off. I'm not saying this to sound like an asshole or attack you. But often we do things and we have no idea how they make others feel. Hardly anyone wakes up and goes "Im going to piss people I care about off today", yet it happens constantly. Our intentions dont always match reality.
Posted by Waterbearerwearer
I read this and I visualised my own daughter potentially dealing with bogan “friends” like this who are challenged in the worst ways possible.
People who ignore genuine communication are fk tards. Simply put, their brains de evolve with time.
Their limbic brains are wired to hurt people. It activates their reptilian brain. It gives them a sense of power.
It’s disgusting.
Don’t waste your energy and as much as it hurts you need to appreciate what you’re working towards in your life which is healthy reciprocal relationships. Getting engaged is a step in that direction.
Lose their numbers and watch your life improve.
Congrats on engagement
Posted by WaterbearerwearerPosted by Boots1313No I’m just tired. You’re on your way though so lose these biatches yesterday.Posted by Waterbearerwearer
I read this and I visualised my own daughter potentially dealing with bogan “friends” like this who are challenged in the worst ways possible.
People who ignore genuine communication are fk tards. Simply put, their brains de evolve with time.
Their limbic brains are wired to hurt people. It activates their reptilian brain. It gives them a sense of power.
It’s disgusting.
Don’t waste your energy and as much as it hurts you need to appreciate what you’re working towards in your life which is healthy reciprocal relationships. Getting engaged is a step in that direction.
Lose their numbers and watch your life improve.
Congrats on engagement
Tha k you. You are correct.
I'm not engaged tho. Just going to an engagement party.
..maybe I need to clarify that sectionclick to expand
Posted by ValleysofNeptuneI think often people don’t listen to their gut instinct and their suffering is prolonged. We should not discredit our instinctual tugs because it is there for us to receive something on an energetic level. It is telling us through a vibrational frequency that something is off and we shouldn’t entertain it or allow it. To be honest I’m at a point in my life that if I need to let someone go because they’ve truly violated me, I will do it in a heartbeat after conveying it to them.Posted by CoochiecoochiecooI agree. That’s what I would do, but I’m not her and I don’t know the details of her life and her relationships with these people. I’m not telling her to lower herself to anything or pander to anyone, but it sounds like they haven’t been giving her the run around for very long. If we completely cut people out of our lives because they didn’t do what they “should” do for a short period of time there would be nobody left lol. But like I said, if things didn’t/don’t change very soon (which tbh they probably won’t) with them being direct and honest like she’s been with them, then it’s best to move onPosted by heliumfiascoThey should speak to her about it if there is an issue and be straight forward and honest. Not just disappear on her and slowly push her the fuck out of a group. That is extremely cowardly and immature. No grown adult should behave like that if they have any moral grounding and consideration for others. She’s mentioned that they indulge in a whole host of stupidity and she’s outgrown them. She’s matured and found a better and healthier path. Also a person shouldn’t have to over think every single action of theirs in order to serve or pander to others if their intention is pure, clean and it’s coming from a place of goodness and morality. She has evolved in to a better more intellectual human being and they can’t handle it. She shouldn’t have to lower herself to meet them at their level instead they should rise up to meet her at hers. I’m a firm believer that a person shouldn’t have to change themselves if they don’t have a fundamental personality flaw/aren’t evil or malicious in order to appease others but instead should embrace the best version of themselves in order to attract their people.
I obviously dont know you or your friends. But i'll assume that if these are people you love and like to surround yourself with that you respect their judgement? Don't find them to be irrational? I have a typical philosophy in life and that is the "common denominator"... if an entire group of people have decided to distance themselves, it probably isnt them. Use this time to really self evaluate what it is that you could be doing that made an ENTIRE group of people close to you back off. I'm not saying this to sound like an asshole or attack you. But often we do things and we have no idea how they make others feel. Hardly anyone wakes up and goes "Im going to piss people I care about off today", yet it happens constantly. Our intentions dont always match reality.click to expand
Posted by CoochiecoochiecooAgain to reiterate, I would tell them my issue, convey it, make it clear and then cut it out (if they were once close to me).Posted by ValleysofNeptuneI think often people don’t listen to their gut instinct and their suffering is prolonged. We should not discredit our instinctual tugs because it is there for us to receive something on an energetic level. It is telling us through a vibrational frequency that something is off and we shouldn’t entertain it or allow it. To be honest I’m at a point in my life that if I need to let someone go because they’ve truly violated me, I will do it in a heartbeat after conveying it to them.Posted by CoochiecoochiecooI agree. That’s what I would do, but I’m not her and I don’t know the details of her life and her relationships with these people. I’m not telling her to lower herself to anything or pander to anyone, but it sounds like they haven’t been giving her the run around for very long. If we completely cut people out of our lives because they didn’t do what they “should” do for a short period of time there would be nobody left lol. But like I said, if things didn’t/don’t change very soon (which tbh they probably won’t) with them being direct and honest like she’s been with them, then it’s best to move onPosted by heliumfiascoThey should speak to her about it if there is an issue and be straight forward and honest. Not just disappear on her and slowly push her the fuck out of a group. That is extremely cowardly and immature. No grown adult should behave like that if they have any moral grounding and consideration for others. She’s mentioned that they indulge in a whole host of stupidity and she’s outgrown them. She’s matured and found a better and healthier path. Also a person shouldn’t have to over think every single action of theirs in order to serve or pander to others if their intention is pure, clean and it’s coming from a place of goodness and morality. She has evolved in to a better more intellectual human being and they can’t handle it. She shouldn’t have to lower herself to meet them at their level instead they should rise up to meet her at hers. I’m a firm believer that a person shouldn’t have to change themselves if they don’t have a fundamental personality flaw/aren’t evil or malicious in order to appease others but instead should embrace the best version of themselves in order to attract their people.
I obviously dont know you or your friends. But i'll assume that if these are people you love and like to surround yourself with that you respect their judgement? Don't find them to be irrational? I have a typical philosophy in life and that is the "common denominator"... if an entire group of people have decided to distance themselves, it probably isnt them. Use this time to really self evaluate what it is that you could be doing that made an ENTIRE group of people close to you back off. I'm not saying this to sound like an asshole or attack you. But often we do things and we have no idea how they make others feel. Hardly anyone wakes up and goes "Im going to piss people I care about off today", yet it happens constantly. Our intentions dont always match reality.click to expand
Posted by tizianiNot verbalizing? Or needing verbalized confirmations?Posted by heliumfiascoMaybe more of an American thing.
I agree that an explanation would be ideal. I would certainly conduct my relationships with a detailed explanation of why I feel the way I do. However, actions and silences are answers. A HUGE number of people in this world would prefer to let their actions speak for themselves. As a society we are always looking for verbal confirmations of things that we already know. If we dont get that verbal confirmation we stand around confused.... when the answer has been there all along. Its a huge problem in communication in general, because verbalizing isnt the only form of it.click to expand
Posted by heliumfiascoStonewalling and silent treatments are a form of emotional abuse. It can drive the other person insane and is a cowardly out or used for manipulation and to make the other person surrender and feel as though they’ve done something horrific. How is she supposed to know what’s gone wrong if they can’t verbalise it and convey it? How can she possibly know where she stands?
I agree that an explanation would be ideal. I would certainly conduct my relationships with a detailed explanation of why I feel the way I do. However, actions and silences are answers. A HUGE number of people in this world would prefer to let their actions speak for themselves. As a society we are always looking for verbal confirmations of things that we already know. If we dont get that verbal confirmation we stand around confused.... when the answer has been there all along. Its a huge problem in communication in general, because verbalizing isnt the only form of it. Who is to say the "proper way" for any individual to handle their emotions. Taking cues isnt that foreign of an idea.
Posted by tizianiI agree 100% . I once had that mindset and looking back its a very codependent/needy mindset.Posted by heliumfiascoFeeling like an upfront explanation is owed as a right.Posted by tizianiNot verbalizing? Or needing verbalized confirmations?Posted by heliumfiascoMaybe more of an American thing.
I agree that an explanation would be ideal. I would certainly conduct my relationships with a detailed explanation of why I feel the way I do. However, actions and silences are answers. A HUGE number of people in this world would prefer to let their actions speak for themselves. As a society we are always looking for verbal confirmations of things that we already know. If we dont get that verbal confirmation we stand around confused.... when the answer has been there all along. Its a huge problem in communication in general, because verbalizing isnt the only form of it.
It looks like the craziest thing from the outside.click to expand
Posted by tizianiI agree, you can't force anything to happen. Sometimes you just have to walk away not really understanding completely what happened but that it just is.Posted by ValleysofNeptune"And often things don’t need to be spelled out verbally anyways. "Posted by tizianiTrue, it’s definitely easier in theory than in practice sometimes. And often things don’t need to be spelled out verbally anyways. But a lot of times it is necessary. And then if people don’t pick up your cues you honestly have nobody to blame but yourself for not being clear with them tbh. If you draw a line in the sand you can save both you and the other person future headaches, even if it’s awkward to draw that line at firstPosted by ValleysofNeptuneFair enough. It goes beyond good or bad behaviour when it's close friends or family imo. It's 1000 times more awkward to feel a disconnect for my life style with people I felt close to than strangers.Posted by tizianiRight and I actually agreed completely with that post of hers. I guess with her post I was thinking of it in the context of acquaintances, people you aren’t that close with to begin with, who feel you owe it to them to feel a certain way about them and will try to guilt you into feeling a certain way about them. Whether that was what her thread was actually about I don’t remember but that’s what I related it to. And I think that entitlement is bullshit, just like I said I don’t think people should feel owed to it in this last post too, but the context of this thread is about a group of friends, people she was closer to. Just because I don’t think she or anyone else is owed something doesn’t mean it’s good behaviorPosted by ValleysofNeptuneWho needs a reason though? Sometimes there really is nothing to say.Posted by tizianiI don’t think anyone is owed anything as a right, but verbalizing how you’re thinking or feeling to someone is better than expecting people to read your mind 99% of the time lol. If someone would rather just take the easy way out and not confront the person you can’t expect the other person to know exactly what’s going on and is often a shitty thing to leave them hanging like that. Sure, the person not putting the effort might know how they feel and have moved on, but you can’t let the other person so they can move on and have one less thing to worry or think about too? I agree there are cues to pick up on, but they don’t tell the whole the whole story or give specifics. It’s not always as simple as “this person hasn’t talked to me for a month so that means they don’t want to see me ever again”. Sure, if they’re ignoring you or something that’s a cue there’s a problem there. But to what extent or if anything can be done about it, you don’t know unless they talk to you about itPosted by heliumfiascoFeeling like an upfront explanation is owed as a right.Posted by tizianiNot verbalizing? Or needing verbalized confirmations?Posted by heliumfiascoMaybe more of an American thing.
I agree that an explanation would be ideal. I would certainly conduct my relationships with a detailed explanation of why I feel the way I do. However, actions and silences are answers. A HUGE number of people in this world would prefer to let their actions speak for themselves. As a society we are always looking for verbal confirmations of things that we already know. If we dont get that verbal confirmation we stand around confused.... when the answer has been there all along. Its a huge problem in communication in general, because verbalizing isnt the only form of it.
It looks like the craziest thing from the outside.
This is all speaking generally of course. In some situations it would be more clear, even obvious what’s going on without verbalizing it. But not always. And unless there’s a legitimate reason to not talk to them about it, like they’ll freak out and attack you, I don’t see a reason not to
I remember sierra made a thread about this (in this same sub forum I think) where the gist of it was how someone feels towards me, is really none of my business. They can share when they are ready, if ever.
I mean if we're talking about maturity that's the way I look at it right now.
I get where you’re coming from though. Like my group of friends I was talking about in my first post in this thread, sometimes one or a few of us, sometimes even me, would be left out of something because we all had a common friendship but some of us just had different interests and the group dynamic would shift for one reason or another. I personally wasn’t bothered by it, but in other cases I don’t see why you couldn’t just say “hey sorry we’re just going different ways in life right now” or whatever instead of stringing them along, especially if it’s someone you were once close with
That's pretty much the vibe I'm going with. I don't feel verbal explanation is necessary so I don't see things exactly the same way as what you've written. It might be ideal yes but often not needed tbh, especially if neither of us really know what to say.
I do what I can to be clear but I don't expect anything from that, and when a relationship has changed it's really no point blaming myself, I do that normally as my first reaction but it's never fixed anything so I get over it quicker now.click to expand
Posted by tizianiPosted by FknMeowyeah but she's worried about turning up to the party and them ostracizing her.
Um, the reasons pretty obvious. They dont want to be judged....
so we're just talking about what mindset to show up to a party with and not flake, stay home and end up another night posting about our social anxiety on teh interwebz.click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptune
Just playing devils advocate here....but...
is is possible that because you haven't been hanging out with them as much they've stopped giving the invites cause they read the writing on the wall?
They know your in a serious relationship and feel some of the outings aren't supportive of that?
The inside jokes are because you've missed out on the joke because you didn't make it to the hang out.
IDK it may not be personal.
Posted by -Romz-Acceptance in terms of making peace with the change that occurs and the loss of friendships or acceptance of shitty behaviour from others? I agree with allowing friends their freedom as I could even go two months without seeing a friend but pick up where we left off if they communicated that they were busy or vice versa, but this is actual alienation and exclusion occurring. Cutting ties and leaving her in a horrible limbo which I know she will move past and realise her own inner strength but is still indicative of their true characters.Posted by Boots1313If that’s your intuition then you’re probably right. No one here will have as much insight as you. You’re obviously an intelligent woman and you understand them more than anyone on dxp could and you understand the central bond of your relationship with them which was to go to events and go out drinking. If you’re in a different place in your life and you keep cancelling or not participating then the obvious reaction would be to stop involving you.Posted by tiziani
Do you have problems with them in person?
Holing up and judging your relationships by social media isn't my idea of how to handle anxiety. But you'd know better than me.
I wouldn't egg myself on by thinking the worst of them here right before you have an engagement party where you know they'll be guests. It just guarantees a bad time.
It could be they just don't have time for your interests while they're doing their own thing, and vice versa. There are things I'd confront face to face if anything.
Yes you cant judge based off a social media but this was a friend group that up until a month ago I would see 3xs a week.
We would all meet up at my friends house and talk and hang after work. I havent been invited to do this in a month. And I've tried texting and saying "hey what's up? What going on tonight"..."nothing, along to bed tired" and I say "ok, Miss you guys. Let me know next time ya'll are hanging "...the weekend passes no texts or calls and the big see on fb/social media pics of them hanging and silly like inside jokes.
I cant help but feel they all ganged up and were like "were not inviting her anymore"
Listen, I can be blunt and the last time we hangout I said to then I felt uncomfortable with their use of cocaine and i miss the old them.
If that was too harsh and a reason to stop talking to me...then maybe good riddence?
Like Tiz mentioned about social media. I completely agree. You cannot base your friendships on social media clout. If you’ve been invited or not shouldn’t dictate how much of a friendship you have.
I know it’s hard to let things do what they have to do. It’s hard to feel like you’re being rejected but I promise you, if you can teach yourself to not react but instead just allow the people in your life the freedom to live how they please....while teaching yourself to remain consistent and kind to those you love, you’ll handle many changes in your life. Nothing ever remains the same, as much as we want it to and it’s completely natural for friendships and relationships to evolve because everyone has to. What can help you not only mature in your everyday life but on an emotional level is: allowing life and changes to happen. The same way you want them to accept your new life, you have to accept them. Don’t allow those insecure thoughts rule your day or mind, you’re not missing out on anything that you haven’t already turned down because you’re not into that scene anymore.
Regardless of the substance of these friendships...they are still people you spent time with and enjoyed being with. Remember them as people and not a group.
There’s this internal calmness that comes from acceptance. It’s the hardest thing to do but it feels powerful. I cannot express how much I needed to instill that confidence in myself, regarding friendships. This is a life lesson no one can help you with and you have to find it on your own but once you do, it feels like you’ve finally found the best of friend you ever needed in yourself....
I’m rambling. Anyway I’d take some time to just relax and remind yourself that you’re a grown woman and you have kindness and love to give and sometimes friendships change, allow it and welcome it but don’t let it make you bitter or sad. It’s a sign of growth for you and maybe for them. You cannot fight time.click to expand
Posted by VenusRetrogadeIf I caught my friends doing coke I would verbally slap the idiocy out of them. That’s a true friend.
This is just me seeing two sides of things but... maybe you annoyed them by confronting them about their life style aka use of drugs. And you appeared to be a kill joy. So they decided to ice you out. In your case you probably didn't mean any harm when you said It but maybe to them it just showed youre goody two shoes and doesnt fit the group. It happens in friendships.
The other thing too if people dont like you just move on. There are plenty of friends to be made. So find a group that fits your personality more and dont stress it. Friendships happen naturally and when it starts feeling uncomfortable maybe it's not for you so just let it go.
Posted by CoochiecoochiecooPosted by -Romz-Acceptance in terms of making peace with the change that occurs and the loss of friendships or acceptance of shitty behaviour from others? I agree with allowing friends their freedom as I could even go two months without seeing a friend but pick up where we left off if they communicated that they were busy or vice versa, but this is actual alienation and exclusion occurring. Cutting ties and leaving her in a horrible limbo which I know she will move past and realise her own inner strength but is still indicative of their true characters.Posted by Boots1313If that’s your intuition then you’re probably right. No one here will have as much insight as you. You’re obviously an intelligent woman and you understand them more than anyone on dxp could and you understand the central bond of your relationship with them which was to go to events and go out drinking. If you’re in a different place in your life and you keep cancelling or not participating then the obvious reaction would be to stop involving you.Posted by tiziani
Do you have problems with them in person?
Holing up and judging your relationships by social media isn't my idea of how to handle anxiety. But you'd know better than me.
I wouldn't egg myself on by thinking the worst of them here right before you have an engagement party where you know they'll be guests. It just guarantees a bad time.
It could be they just don't have time for your interests while they're doing their own thing, and vice versa. There are things I'd confront face to face if anything.
Yes you cant judge based off a social media but this was a friend group that up until a month ago I would see 3xs a week.
We would all meet up at my friends house and talk and hang after work. I havent been invited to do this in a month. And I've tried texting and saying "hey what's up? What going on tonight"..."nothing, along to bed tired" and I say "ok, Miss you guys. Let me know next time ya'll are hanging "...the weekend passes no texts or calls and the big see on fb/social media pics of them hanging and silly like inside jokes.
I cant help but feel they all ganged up and were like "were not inviting her anymore"
Listen, I can be blunt and the last time we hangout I said to then I felt uncomfortable with their use of cocaine and i miss the old them.
If that was too harsh and a reason to stop talking to me...then maybe good riddence?
Like Tiz mentioned about social media. I completely agree. You cannot base your friendships on social media clout. If you’ve been invited or not shouldn’t dictate how much of a friendship you have.
I know it’s hard to let things do what they have to do. It’s hard to feel like you’re being rejected but I promise you, if you can teach yourself to not react but instead just allow the people in your life the freedom to live how they please....while teaching yourself to remain consistent and kind to those you love, you’ll handle many changes in your life. Nothing ever remains the same, as much as we want it to and it’s completely natural for friendships and relationships to evolve because everyone has to. What can help you not only mature in your everyday life but on an emotional level is: allowing life and changes to happen. The same way you want them to accept your new life, you have to accept them. Don’t allow those insecure thoughts rule your day or mind, you’re not missing out on anything that you haven’t already turned down because you’re not into that scene anymore.
Regardless of the substance of these friendships...they are still people you spent time with and enjoyed being with. Remember them as people and not a group.
There’s this internal calmness that comes from acceptance. It’s the hardest thing to do but it feels powerful. I cannot express how much I needed to instill that confidence in myself, regarding friendships. This is a life lesson no one can help you with and you have to find it on your own but once you do, it feels like you’ve finally found the best of friend you ever needed in yourself....
I’m rambling. Anyway I’d take some time to just relax and remind yourself that you’re a grown woman and you have kindness and love to give and sometimes friendships change, allow it and welcome it but don’t let it make you bitter or sad. It’s a sign of growth for you and maybe for them. You cannot fight time.click to expand
Posted by VenusRetrogadeI couldn’t give a chancla wearing toe nails in a state of disrepair flying fuck if they get offended. I’m saving them from a collapsed septum and a very expensive habit.Posted by CoochiecoochiecooPosted by VenusRetrogadeIf I caught my friends doing coke I would verbally slap the idiocy out of them. That’s a true friend.
This is just me seeing two sides of things but... maybe you annoyed them by confronting them about their life style aka use of drugs. And you appeared to be a kill joy. So they decided to ice you out. In your case you probably didn't mean any harm when you said It but maybe to them it just showed youre goody two shoes and doesnt fit the group. It happens in friendships.
The other thing too if people dont like you just move on. There are plenty of friends to be made. So find a group that fits your personality more and dont stress it. Friendships happen naturally and when it starts feeling uncomfortable maybe it's not for you so just let it go.
that doesn't mean they like it or will accept it. There are consequences all the time.click to expand
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by ladylibra21looks interesting
https://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=the+mastery+of+self&index=aps&tag=hydsma-20&ref=pd_sl_15b8rui7a9_e&adgrpid=57668049098&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=274759084732&hvpos=1t1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15816580706118577728&hvqmt=e&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9003191&hvtargid=kwd-300611724365click to expand
Posted by Boots1313Are you sure they coming to the party?
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll write lil comments on their fb/Instagram posts. They dont respond and they don't "like" anything I post. No that I post a lot of those Instagram videos things/fb...but when I do none of them watch it.
I'm feel really sad and I just dont know what I did, or what else I can do?!
To be honest we have been growing apart. None of them are in relationships and they like to go out alot. (I'm very introverted). I dont feel I'm on their level anymore and I cant really relate, but I still love them dearly.
I have an engagement party coming up, and they are all going to be there and I'm starting to get anxiety to see them. I can get confrontational when hurt and I dint want to offend them or call them out. I also dont want to be ignored . I'm jistvhaving major anxiety and sadness about the whole situation and in very lost about what to do...
Posted by GemitatiPosted by Boots1313Are you sure they coming to the party?
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll write lil comments on their fb/Instagram posts. They dont respond and they don't "like" anything I post. No that I post a lot of those Instagram videos things/fb...but when I do none of them watch it.
I'm feel really sad and I just dont know what I did, or what else I can do?!
To be honest we have been growing apart. None of them are in relationships and they like to go out alot. (I'm very introverted). I dont feel I'm on their level anymore and I cant really relate, but I still love them dearly.
I have an engagement party coming up, and they are all going to be there and I'm starting to get anxiety to see them. I can get confrontational when hurt and I dint want to offend them or call them out. I also dont want to be ignored . I'm jistvhaving major anxiety and sadness about the whole situation and in very lost about what to do...click to expand
Posted by Boots1313So it’s not your wedding?Posted by GemitatiPosted by Boots1313Are you sure they coming to the party?
I've been losing sleep over this matter and having terrible anxiety fueled nightmares.
For the last month my friends have been pushing me out. It actually wasn't a gradual push, they just kind of ghosted me, out of nowhere.
I've tried texting them, I'll write lil comments on their fb/Instagram posts. They dont respond and they don't "like" anything I post. No that I post a lot of those Instagram videos things/fb...but when I do none of them watch it.
I'm feel really sad and I just dont know what I did, or what else I can do?!
To be honest we have been growing apart. None of them are in relationships and they like to go out alot. (I'm very introverted). I dont feel I'm on their level anymore and I cant really relate, but I still love them dearly.
I have an engagement party coming up, and they are all going to be there and I'm starting to get anxiety to see them. I can get confrontational when hurt and I dint want to offend them or call them out. I also dont want to be ignored . I'm jistvhaving major anxiety and sadness about the whole situation and in very lost about what to do...
Yes, they are part of the bridal party...
I'm not (that's okay, in not super close with the girl)click to expand
Posted by BuffaloBills28Amen sister.
If anything very very few people in life will come along who have good intentions towards you. Who truly wanna see you happy and who wish you well .. All my “friends” ever did in life was hold me back. Swear. Even relatives can be slick.
Posted by seraphGood dad talk. I really like how you put it. Your advice is usually very sound and coming from a place of stability which is very healthy.
Missed the cokeheads part.
*puts on dad jeans and oversprays Jaipur by Boucheron*
Don’t keep that kind of company. They may be nice and fun to hang with now and then, but they’re of no use to your growth at best, and worst, their habits - and consequently their attitudes and mental states - might colour your own, especially if you’re easily destabilized. Generally, people with these issues aren’t bad people, but you they will rarely serve you positively and there’s not a lot you can do for them - their battles are their own. Don’t ever feel guilty for moving up and out socially.
Posted by seraph
Missed the cokeheads part.
*puts on dad jeans and oversprays Jaipur by Boucheron*
Don’t keep that kind of company. They may be nice and fun to hang with now and then, but they’re of no use to your growth at best, and worst, their habits - and consequently their attitudes and mental states - might colour your own, especially if you’re easily destabilized. Generally, people with these issues aren’t bad people, but you they will rarely serve you positively and there’s not a lot you can do for them - their battles are their own. Don’t ever feel guilty for moving up and out socially.
Posted by 7sPosted by Boots1313
Update:
The engagement party for my "friend " is tonight. Im definently having a mini panic attack. I havw one person whom i still talk to who said i can "cling" to her if i need to.
Another girl whom i was veey close with, it was her birthday yesterday. I texted her happy birthday and i didnt get a reply.
Honestly. What did i do where a "thabk you" isnt merited?
ask herclick to expand
Posted by 7sPosted by Boots1313Posted by 7sPosted by Boots1313
Update:
The engagement party for my "friend " is tonight. Im definently having a mini panic attack. I havw one person whom i still talk to who said i can "cling" to her if i need to.
Another girl whom i was veey close with, it was her birthday yesterday. I texted her happy birthday and i didnt get a reply.
Honestly. What did i do where a "thabk you" isnt merited?
ask her
"You spend a lot of time with your boyfriend"...no shit, because no one asks me to hangout anymore
you gotta apologize to them yo.
No one likes being thrown away like their trash...like they weren't worth anything in the first place . You cant just walk back into their life just like nothing happened. Youre only human. You were smittened. We've all been there. Explain that. It'll show that you value them. That you're trying. Everyone appreciates a sincere apology.click to expand