toxic FRIENDships
This topic was created in the Personal Development forum by MoonshineLeo on Saturday, March 3, 2018 and has 38 replies.
When did you know you needed to end a friendship? what was the final straw for you?
Posted by SpaceBirdwhat if you feel like you're growing apart? outgrowing someone?
I never know ..that's my problem ....but i kind of figure ....the world is toxic ....if i was only used to clean pure air ...i would have to live in a bubble. I wasn't brought up in a bubble. Far from it.
Keep breathing. But that's me.
Posted by tizianiwhat if the other person isn't letting it die? what if they become obsessed instead, some people dont get it
Whenever we both kept letting each other down just by being ourselves.
Lack of effort and lies were the final straw for me.
Posted by LadyNeptunelies is a good one,
Lack of effort and lies were the final straw for me.
Posted by OrGasMeyou've had friends talk to you like that? wow
Abusive language. Insulting me or calling me words like b*tch.
0 tolerance
Posted by RooSagicornyea it comes to a point where the friendship becomes too much. And thats not normal. No friendship should be that hard. but 12 years, thats a really long friendship. Did she tell you she was done being your friend?
Well I had a bestie for 12 years. Well we both fought for the friendship. Big arguments for the last two years of it. Then, I found myself backing up and needing space because it was too harmful for me. A couple of things happened & I decided to take care of me. She ended the friendship.
If the person doesn't care about your well being, causes drama often, monopolizes the friendship (can't share your good or bad times with them), but you are constantly giving them advice and celebrating them.
Posted by SpaceBirdhahah i actually like that thank youPosted by MoonshineLeoTell them clearly. ..but dearly.Posted by tizianiwhat if the other person isn't letting it die? what if they become obsessed instead, some people dont get it
Whenever we both kept letting each other down just by being ourselves.
You're a wonderful person. But i feel i am entering a new phase. I need renewal. Our friendship created lovely memories. But .....i need to move on ....to be who i want to be. You need to also...because you are far better than the person i am constraining you to be ....Good-bye, o Because we both know that I'm not What you need
And i will always love you.
bish bosh ..don't thank me thank dolly parton
click to expand
do you tell a bitch to kick rocks orrrr no cause they might go psycho on you?!?
what if you're dealing with a very irrational person? someone who has been through alot and you've done everything to help them. If you've dealt with someone like this then you know its not that easy to just cut them out without maybe some consequences coming my way. Like what do you do?!
i dont want anything to happen to my car or my work and she is like this...
i dont want anything to happen to my car or my work and she is like this...
Posted by MoonshineLeoYes. If it's for the reasons I stated and I think they will grow from it, I'd tell them why as well.
do you tell a bitch to kick rocks orrrr no cause they might go psycho on you?!?
Posted by MoonshineLeoSlowly but surely get busier and busier doing other things. Basically, ween them off u slowly.
what if you're dealing with a very irrational person? someone who has been through alot and you've done everything to help them. If you've dealt with someone like this then you know its not that easy to just cut them out without maybe some consequences coming my way. Like what do you do?!
i dont want anything to happen to my car or my work and she is like this...
Turn them off so they'd leave. Become less reliable, boring, conditional in helping them
Posted by STILLi did this. Instead of her getting this she just started quizzing me everyday on why im acting like this and what im up to. If i dont respond she comes to my work?! Im not trying to be mean or cause a scene but damn why dont some people get it?! and if i tell her how i really feel then im "mean" and "not a good friend" ugh
Turn them off so they'd leave. Become less reliable, boring, conditional in helping them
Posted by RooSagicornPosted by MoonshineLeoWe live far away from each other, but with technology these days that’s not a problem. Well she wanted me to enable her & I refused. When I visited where she lives, I always saw her & sometimes stayed with her. This time I didn’t. I was supposed to initially but she was too messed up to communicate, so I did what I wanted instead. Didn't reach out either after I got home.. I guess I was not wanting to deal with her because saving people/enabling was a big issue for me & i’d Worked hard at not doing it. She knew that. Anyway she unfriended me, my daughter, my stepmom & had 3 of her friend’s there dobit also ( on FB) when I noticed, I sent her a message & said that’s quite a message. Are you saying we are no longer friends? She never answered & a week or so later blocked me also!Posted by RooSagicornyea it comes to a point where the friendship becomes too much. And thats not normal. No friendship should be that hard. but 12 years, thats a really long friendship. Did she tell you she was done being your friend?
Well I had a bestie for 12 years. Well we both fought for the friendship. Big arguments for the last two years of it. Then, I found myself backing up and needing space because it was too harmful for me. A couple of things happened & I decided to take care of me. She ended the friendship.
We had been through a lot together. It’s sad & I miss her. But, it is far healthier for me & im far better off. Turns out it was hard to listen to yourself, when someone is always questioning your decisions & how you act. It really helped my process not to have her putting doubts in my head..click to expand
I remember you going through something similar too with your friend. Im also an enabler i hate that about myself, and the things that they say DO stick in our heads. And she does question everything i do like she doesnt want me to move forward. Wow thanks for sharing!
Posted by MoonshineLeoPosted by STILLi did this. Instead of her getting this she just started quizzing me everyday on why im acting like this and what im up to. If i dont respond she comes to my work?! Im not trying to be mean or cause a scene but damn why dont some people get it?! and if i tell her how i really feel then im "mean" and "not a good friend" ugh
Turn them off so they'd leave. Become less reliable, boring, conditional in helping themclick to expand
Yeah she is obsessive. Tell her to stop being so freaking crazy and ask her how she would feel if you treated her the way she treats you and point a few instances out.
Posted by JuliietteLmbo! That's was going to be my last piece of advice.😂😂😂😂Posted by MoonshineLeo
do you tell a bitch to kick rocks orrrr no cause they might go psycho on you?!?
you go psycho on them. done.click to expand
Posted by Juliiettejust do it right? lolPosted by MoonshineLeo
do you tell a bitch to kick rocks orrrr no cause they might go psycho on you?!?
you go psycho on them. done.click to expand
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.
Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.
Posted by MoonshineLeoI do occasionally when I can but when I notice a trend where that's the only time they want to chill, I back off.Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.click to expand
Posted by earlorg16Posted by MoonshineLeoI do occasionally when I can but when I notice a trend where that's the only time they want to chill, I back off.Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.click to expand
thats so weird do me to ask a friend for money idk ...
Posted by MoonshineLeoRemember that leo I was involved with that we had chatted about? She was the definition of this. Started off as friends and evolved to more but I noticed that she only wanted to see me or talk to me when she needed Something.Posted by earlorg16Posted by MoonshineLeoI do occasionally when I can but when I notice a trend where that's the only time they want to chill, I back off.Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.
thats so weird do me to ask a friend for money idk ...click to expand
Posted by earlorg16sooooo weird, i have wayy to much pride to ask anyone for money, ill get a second job or something hell no thats so weird coming from a leoPosted by MoonshineLeoRemember that leo I was involved with that we had chatted about? She was the definition of this. Started off as friends and evolved to more but I noticed that she only wanted to see me or talk to me when she needed Something.Posted by earlorg16Posted by MoonshineLeoI do occasionally when I can but when I notice a trend where that's the only time they want to chill, I back off.Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.
thats so weird do me to ask a friend for money idk ...click to expand
What's exactly a toxic friendships?
Posted by MoonshineLeoshe was quite the immature leo. also had an aries moon.Posted by earlorg16sooooo weird, i have wayy to much pride to ask anyone for money, ill get a second job or something hell no thats so weird coming from a leoPosted by MoonshineLeoRemember that leo I was involved with that we had chatted about? She was the definition of this. Started off as friends and evolved to more but I noticed that she only wanted to see me or talk to me when she needed Something.Posted by earlorg16Posted by MoonshineLeoI do occasionally when I can but when I notice a trend where that's the only time they want to chill, I back off.Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.
thats so weird do me to ask a friend for money idk ...click to expand
Posted by earlorg16ok now i think you're lying lolPosted by MoonshineLeoshe was quite the immature leo. also had an aries moon.Posted by earlorg16sooooo weird, i have wayy to much pride to ask anyone for money, ill get a second job or something hell no thats so weird coming from a leoPosted by MoonshineLeoRemember that leo I was involved with that we had chatted about? She was the definition of this. Started off as friends and evolved to more but I noticed that she only wanted to see me or talk to me when she needed Something.Posted by earlorg16Posted by MoonshineLeoI do occasionally when I can but when I notice a trend where that's the only time they want to chill, I back off.Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.
thats so weird do me to ask a friend for money idk ...click to expand
Posted by MoonshineLeohaha why? i wish i was lying. you don't even wanna know how much i spent on her..Posted by earlorg16ok now i think you're lying lolPosted by MoonshineLeoshe was quite the immature leo. also had an aries moon.Posted by earlorg16sooooo weird, i have wayy to much pride to ask anyone for money, ill get a second job or something hell no thats so weird coming from a leoPosted by MoonshineLeoRemember that leo I was involved with that we had chatted about? She was the definition of this. Started off as friends and evolved to more but I noticed that she only wanted to see me or talk to me when she needed Something.Posted by earlorg16Posted by MoonshineLeoI do occasionally when I can but when I notice a trend where that's the only time they want to chill, I back off.Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.
thats so weird do me to ask a friend for money idk ...click to expand
Posted by earlorg16was this a relationship? im talking about friendships here, no emotions whatsoeverPosted by MoonshineLeohaha why? i wish i was lying. you don't even wanna know how much i spent on her..Posted by earlorg16ok now i think you're lying lolPosted by MoonshineLeoshe was quite the immature leo. also had an aries moon.Posted by earlorg16sooooo weird, i have wayy to much pride to ask anyone for money, ill get a second job or something hell no thats so weird coming from a leoPosted by MoonshineLeoRemember that leo I was involved with that we had chatted about? She was the definition of this. Started off as friends and evolved to more but I noticed that she only wanted to see me or talk to me when she needed Something.Posted by earlorg16Posted by MoonshineLeoI do occasionally when I can but when I notice a trend where that's the only time they want to chill, I back off.Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.
thats so weird do me to ask a friend for money idk ...click to expand
Posted by MoonshineLeolike i said, it was a friendship at first. i was still spending on her as friends in the beginning. but there have been other friends that only came to me for financial help.Posted by earlorg16was this a relationship? im talking about friendships here, no emotions whatsoeverPosted by MoonshineLeohaha why? i wish i was lying. you don't even wanna know how much i spent on her..Posted by earlorg16ok now i think you're lying lolPosted by MoonshineLeoshe was quite the immature leo. also had an aries moon.Posted by earlorg16sooooo weird, i have wayy to much pride to ask anyone for money, ill get a second job or something hell no thats so weird coming from a leoPosted by MoonshineLeoRemember that leo I was involved with that we had chatted about? She was the definition of this. Started off as friends and evolved to more but I noticed that she only wanted to see me or talk to me when she needed Something.Posted by earlorg16Posted by MoonshineLeoI do occasionally when I can but when I notice a trend where that's the only time they want to chill, I back off.Posted by earlorg16You help them out financially?
When they only chill or hang with you when they need financial help.
thats so weird do me to ask a friend for money idk ...click to expand
It really depends on the friendship for me tbh. I can take breaks from people if it starts to get bad, but never truly end the friendship, but sometimes yes it has to end, as its best for everyone involved.
For me, if it just seems to always be negative or negative energy around someone, i have to look at the why or the source of that feeling. Energy vampires i guess is the best way to explain it. No one has time for that shit. If i stay around that type of stuff too long, i react negatively to it, and it does not bring out a good side of me. I will lash out and sometimes even say shit i regret in hurt and anger, which isn't fun for anyone.
Sometimes having those friendships end is the healthy thing to happen.
For me, if it just seems to always be negative or negative energy around someone, i have to look at the why or the source of that feeling. Energy vampires i guess is the best way to explain it. No one has time for that shit. If i stay around that type of stuff too long, i react negatively to it, and it does not bring out a good side of me. I will lash out and sometimes even say shit i regret in hurt and anger, which isn't fun for anyone.
Sometimes having those friendships end is the healthy thing to happen.
Posted by TimonPosted by justagirlI relate a lot to what you said. Especially staying around that energy and reacting negatively to it. It does bring out the worst in me lol. And who wants to be around people that bring out the worst in you lol. I want to be happy so I prefer positive people not miserable ones that will drag me down with them.
It really depends on the friendship for me tbh. I can take breaks from people if it starts to get bad, but never truly end the friendship, but sometimes yes it has to end, as its best for everyone involved.
For me, if it just seems to always be negative or negative energy around someone, i have to look at the why or the source of that feeling. Energy vampires i guess is the best way to explain it. No one has time for that shit. If i stay around that type of stuff too long, i react negatively to it, and it does not bring out a good side of me. I will lash out and sometimes even say shit i regret in hurt and anger, which isn't fun for anyone.
Sometimes having those friendships end is the healthy thing to happen.
Some people are always fighting with other people. They think it's everyone else fault but in reality they are the source of it but fail to see it.click to expand
Yes i relate so much to you and @justagirl
That’s exactly how i was feeling. She’s weighing me down. I care more about my wellbeing. Thanks for the stories!!
Posted by TimonI never like myself when i have gotten to that point, luckily it hasn't happened much in my life, but it has happened and I do not like my reactions or actions involved.Posted by justagirlI relate a lot to what you said. Especially staying around that energy and reacting negatively to it. It does bring out the worst in me lol. And who wants to be around people that bring out the worst in you lol. I want to be happy so I prefer positive people not miserable ones that will drag me down with them.
It really depends on the friendship for me tbh. I can take breaks from people if it starts to get bad, but never truly end the friendship, but sometimes yes it has to end, as its best for everyone involved.
For me, if it just seems to always be negative or negative energy around someone, i have to look at the why or the source of that feeling. Energy vampires i guess is the best way to explain it. No one has time for that shit. If i stay around that type of stuff too long, i react negatively to it, and it does not bring out a good side of me. I will lash out and sometimes even say shit i regret in hurt and anger, which isn't fun for anyone.
Sometimes having those friendships end is the healthy thing to happen.
Some people are always fighting with other people. They think it's everyone else fault but in reality they are the source of it but fail to see it.click to expand
I'm naturally a very positive person, to the point it can annoy others lol A bouncing bubble of rainbows and sunshine happiness and i'm the same as you I prefer to be around others that are positive.
Posted by MoonshineLeoWhen I went to go talk to a counselor about it.
When did you know you needed to end a friendship? what was the final straw for you?
I’d been having problems with this friend the last two years or so. I kept feeling guilty, and the friend was fueling my anxieties. Well, the counselor told me that anxiety is a “symptom” and that there was something dysfunctional in each of us that kept driving these problems and the relationship itself. It was such a revelation to me that I worked on changing things and letting that friendship go... and working on myself.
From the person though, I thought enough was enough when the stupid misunderstandings turned into bigger problems, lies, and dishonest actions.
Posted by 81gemsGood for you for choosing your own happiness over toxic friendships. Its not worth your mental health, thats when i know its over.Posted by MoonshineLeoWhen I went to go talk to a counselor about it.
When did you know you needed to end a friendship? what was the final straw for you?
I’d been having problems with this friend the last two years or so. I kept feeling guilty, and the friend was fueling my anxieties. Well, the counselor told me that anxiety is a “symptom” and that there was something dysfunctional in each of us that kept driving these problems and the relationship itself. It was such a revelation to me that I worked on changing things and letting that friendship go... and working on myself.
From the person though, I thought enough was enough when the stupid misunderstandings turned into bigger problems, lies, and dishonest actions.click to expand
Posted by SeleukosStoppp itttt
The moment he told me that I wasn't allowed to kill myself.
Posted by SeleukosDont ever say such things!! crazyyPosted by MoonshineLeoWhat?Posted by SeleukosStoppp itttt
The moment he told me that I wasn't allowed to kill myself.
click to expand
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