Trying to break my Nice Guy ways.

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Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Hey guys,

I was recently rejected by my Girl Best Friend and this opened my eyes to why I have been friendzoned like this now and in the past. I am the stereotypical Nice Guy. I am trying to break these habits and have been reading some literature and articles online about this. The main things I am trying to improve are my flirting and making my intentions clear. This is the part I have trouble with. Is there any tips or advice people can give me to help me break my nice guy tendancies and be able to flirt and attract the women I like? Any advice or literature is helpful to me. Thanks

Models - Mark Manson (In progress).

How to be the Bad Boy Women Love - Ron Louis and David Copperfield.
Profile picture of Fragrance
Fragrance
@Fragrance
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 289 · Posts: 2891 · Topics: 9
Posted by TheRabbit
Posted by Fragrance
Posted by TheRabbit
Posted by Fragrance
But what's wrong with the nice guy?
There's a difference between a "nice guy" and a "good man".


what's the difference?
Emotional manipulation, clingyness, etc.

click to expand

Ah okay. I didn't know, thanks!

"The second kind of nice guy is the one who has ulterior motives. He believes that because he behaves in a certain way the world owes him for his actions. He doesn't make it clear what he desires from the beginning and becomes angry when he doesn't get what he wants."

Then I suppose this is what OP is talking about
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Fragrance
@Fragrance
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 289 · Posts: 2891 · Topics: 9
The actually nice guy isn't egocentric to such an extent, that he believes he adores a woman when in fact he only adores the idea of being adored back. The good guy respects women, respects their freedom of choice, and the way they feel. He doesn't position himself superiorly or inferiorly to her. The manipulative "nice guy", seems to be the kind of person who doesn't see an individual/a woman's individuality, what he sees is daydreams about what he's gonna get.

You don't have to be a "bad boy", you don't have to be anything that books tell you to be. Do you really want to invest in a stupid book that targeted insecure boys? Don't let anything make you believe you have to change your whole personality in order to be loved... Self-improvement is one thing, but "how to be..." whatever is an insolent obscenity.

Regardless of gender and star sign, I think it's pretty safe to argue that if somebody encourages interaction with you, they like you. It can be confusing with the timid types, but even they lack the (subtle) enthusiasm and engagement of a woman who's interested in you. She will either get more passionate than usual or more awkward than usual... depending on her personality. When she likes you, that one thing which is special about her enhances and amplifies.

Mutual feelings have nothing to do with the bad/nice guy...

Now, you asked in your post how to attract " the women I like?" You can of course describe the women you like, did you observe a pattern? A woman on dxp who will identify with your type can instruct you in the way you should behave and how to flirt, you might even come back to thank her 'cause you started dating a girl you like thanks to her tips. Wouldn't it be unfair to your date though? Does it mean you'd keep coming on dxp asking how to everything with her? Do you want to get involved in something you have no idea about... sounds so dependable...
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by Fragrance
The actually nice guy isn't egocentric to such an extent, that he believes he adores a woman when in fact he only adores the idea of being adored back. The good guy respects women, respects their freedom of choice, and the way they feel. He doesn't position himself superiorly or inferiorly to her. The manipulative "nice guy", seems to be the kind of person who doesn't see an individual/a woman's individuality, what he sees is daydreams about what he's gonna get.

You don't have to be a "bad boy", you don't have to be anything that books tell you to be. Do you really want to invest in a stupid book that targeted insecure boys? Don't let anything make you believe you have to change your whole personality in order to be loved... Self-improvement is one thing, but "how to be..." whatever is an insolent obscenity.

Regardless of gender and star sign, I think it's pretty safe to argue that if somebody encourages interaction with you, they like you. It can be confusing with the timid types, but even they lack the (subtle) enthusiasm and engagement of a woman who's interested in you. She will either get more passionate than usual or more awkward than usual... depending on her personality. When she likes you, that one thing which is special about her enhances and amplifies.

Mutual feelings have nothing to do with the bad/nice guy...

Now, you asked in your post how to attract " the women I like?" You can of course describe the women you like, did you observe a pattern? A woman on dxp who will identify with your type can instruct you in the way you should behave and how to flirt, you might even come back to thank her 'cause you started dating a girl you like thanks to her tips. Wouldn't it be unfair to your date though? Does it mean you'd keep coming on dxp asking how to everything with her? Do you want to get involved in something you have no idea about... sounds so dependable...
What I'm aiming to do with this is build up my ability to flirt and banter with women better than I have been. I've been friendzoned more times than I care to admit. I have trouble projecting my intentions and escalating my relationships with girls that I like. I want to work on that and reading these books help me since i never had a male role model in my life. I'm learning and developing this so that I don't have to come back to dxp and ask for advice, so that I can do it on my own. I wish to learn, and what better way to do so than from those who already know.
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RabidTalker
@rabidtalker
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 746 · Posts: 5608 · Topics: 190
Posted by Ownard
Hey guys,

I was recently rejected by my Girl Best Friend and this opened my eyes to why I have been friendzoned like this now and in the past. I am the stereotypical Nice Guy. I am trying to break these habits and have been reading some literature and articles online about this. The main things I am trying to improve are my flirting and making my intentions clear. This is the part I have trouble with. Is there any tips or advice people can give me to help me break my nice guy tendancies and be able to flirt and attract the women I like? Any advice or literature is helpful to me. Thanks

Models - Mark Manson (In progress).

How to be the Bad Boy Women Love - Ron Louis and David Copperfield.
Just be upfront from the get-go and move onto a new woman if you get rejected. You can still be friends, just dont always be available.
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by pinkbird03
Don’t change your personality. Maybe just your look. Go more edgy. Wear black shirts.
I may not have made this clear enough in my original post, but I'm not aiming to change my personality, I'm aiming to improve my ability to interact and flirt with the women I like. I'm trying to develop skills. I mean, I'm also changing up my look aswell, I'm working out and am planning on investing in a leather jacket as I've always wanted one of those.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Ownard
Posted by pinkbird03
Don’t change your personality. Maybe just your look. Go more edgy. Wear black shirts.
I may not have made this clear enough in my original post, but I'm not aiming to change my personality, I'm aiming to improve my ability to interact and flirt with the women I like. I'm trying to develop skills. I mean, I'm also changing up my look aswell, I'm working out and am planning on investing in a leather jacket as I've always wanted one of those.
click to expand

Hmm gotcha. You should go on bumble and tinder. 1. You can practice your flirting techniques 2. You could possibly find someone that’s interested in dating you
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Ownard
Posted by pinkbird03
Don’t change your personality. Maybe just your look. Go more edgy. Wear black shirts.
I may not have made this clear enough in my original post, but I'm not aiming to change my personality, I'm aiming to improve my ability to interact and flirt with the women I like. I'm trying to develop skills. I mean, I'm also changing up my look aswell, I'm working out and am planning on investing in a leather jacket as I've always wanted one of those.
Hmm gotcha. You should go on bumble and tinder. 1. You can practice your flirting techniques 2. You could possibly find someone that’s interested in dating you

click to expand

If I'm being honest, I'm beginning to favour face to face flirting so I'm gonna work for a few months and learn what I can then get out there and meet people.
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by Juliiette
but even if you improve your flirting technique though i have no idea what that is really, except being yourself, you will always be friend zoned form time to time. you probably just made a mistake by accepting the title of being the best male friend, to the extent that in the op you called her my girl best friend.
Well that is what we were before I developed feelings for her. I wasn't interested in a relationship with her at first, I'd just managed to find someone who I could be myself around and as I got to know her better, I developed feelings. To be completely honest, we didn't have many boundaries and the amount of time we spent together and how we were when we were together, people around us kept asking if we were a couple. I asked her out and she rejected me and said she would rather be friends. And trust me, I've been friend zoned by every single girl I've liked and had some sort of connection with because I couldn't flirt properly and didn't project my intentions, that is why I want to improve them.
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Okay

You manage to break your nice boy habits, you're smooth with chicks, you get laid alot and you got 5 chicks minimum at any give time wanting to date you.

What's the plan after that?
My plan isn't to simply "get laid a lot". I want to get better with women so in the future when I meet women I really like then I can be able to pursue them as a proper man should.
I see.

Can you pinpoint to the exact moment when you believe you were put in the friendzone?

I.e. what went on

click to expand

I told her how I felt and asked her out on a date and she rejected me and said she would rather just be friends with me.
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by Supes
Posted by rabidtalker
Posted by Ownard
Hey guys,

I was recently rejected by my Girl Best Friend and this opened my eyes to why I have been friendzoned like this now and in the past. I am the stereotypical Nice Guy. I am trying to break these habits and have been reading some literature and articles online about this. The main things I am trying to improve are my flirting and making my intentions clear. This is the part I have trouble with. Is there any tips or advice people can give me to help me break my nice guy tendancies and be able to flirt and attract the women I like? Any advice or literature is helpful to me. Thanks

Models - Mark Manson (In progress).

How to be the Bad Boy Women Love - Ron Louis and David Copperfield.
Just be upfront from the get-go and move onto a new woman if you get rejected. You can still be friends, just dont always be available.


It’s not about being available. If a woman isn’t responding to you favorably, move on. We all know women have their phones on them 24/7 (if they use it).
click to expand

I'm just trying to improve my ability to flirt and make my intentions clear. If I don't get a favourable reaction, I know to move on.
Profile picture of pinkbird03
Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Ownard
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Ownard
Posted by pinkbird03
Don’t change your personality. Maybe just your look. Go more edgy. Wear black shirts.
I may not have made this clear enough in my original post, but I'm not aiming to change my personality, I'm aiming to improve my ability to interact and flirt with the women I like. I'm trying to develop skills. I mean, I'm also changing up my look aswell, I'm working out and am planning on investing in a leather jacket as I've always wanted one of those.
Hmm gotcha. You should go on bumble and tinder. 1. You can practice your flirting techniques 2. You could possibly find someone that’s interested in dating you


If I'm being honest, I'm beginning to favour face to face flirting so I'm gonna work for a few months and learn what I can then get out there and meet people.
click to expand


Good luck! Because it’s impossible. Online dating is the way to go.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by Ownard
Hey guys,

I was recently rejected by my Girl Best Friend and this opened my eyes to why I have been friendzoned like this now and in the past. I am the stereotypical Nice Guy. I am trying to break these habits and have been reading some literature and articles online about this. The main things I am trying to improve are my flirting and making my intentions clear. This is the part I have trouble with. Is there any tips or advice people can give me to help me break my nice guy tendancies and be able to flirt and attract the women I like? Any advice or literature is helpful to me. Thanks

Models - Mark Manson (In progress).

How to be the Bad Boy Women Love - Ron Louis and David Copperfield.
i was curioius so i read some excerpts on that book on amazon.com

it says women can spot a shy guy a mile away.

it's all about confidence.

and it is interesting but it says that these men are very disconnected. meaning disconnected with women.

go read the excerpts.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Bad-Boy-Women-Love/dp/0971907617

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Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
You'll need to work on you first. Your confidence and self esteem are essential building blocks to getting what you're looking to accomplish. I just sent you a message regarding how to start this process, but you'll need to focus less on "proving" yourself and more on being internally (and possibly externally) strong.

Don't worry about being a "player" or a "bad boy", it's all about being direct and decisive. It's also about having the confidence of finding a confident woman. Being a player or a bad boy is effective for guys who are seeking women with low self esteem. Trust me, you don't want to attract those type of women.
Profile picture of Chuckcem
Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Okay

You manage to break your nice boy habits, you're smooth with chicks, you get laid alot and you got 5 chicks minimum at any give time wanting to date you.

What's the plan after that?
My plan isn't to simply "get laid a lot". I want to get better with women so in the future when I meet women I really like then I can be able to pursue them as a proper man should.
I see.

Can you pinpoint to the exact moment when you believe you were put in the friendzone?

I.e. what went on

click to expand

In case you weren't following his previous posts detailing his situation:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/how-can-i-flirt-with-this-leo--9417786/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/how-do-i-tell-her-i-like-her-more-than-a-friend--9458687/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today--9554775/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today-update--9703716/

As you can tell this particular series of events has kept my attention.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Koniuchaa
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Ownard
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Ownard
Posted by pinkbird03
Don’t change your personality. Maybe just your look. Go more edgy. Wear black shirts.
I may not have made this clear enough in my original post, but I'm not aiming to change my personality, I'm aiming to improve my ability to interact and flirt with the women I like. I'm trying to develop skills. I mean, I'm also changing up my look aswell, I'm working out and am planning on investing in a leather jacket as I've always wanted one of those.
Hmm gotcha. You should go on bumble and tinder. 1. You can practice your flirting techniques 2. You could possibly find someone that’s interested in dating you


If I'm being honest, I'm beginning to favour face to face flirting so I'm gonna work for a few months and learn what I can then get out there and meet people.

Good luck! Because it’s impossible. Online dating is the way to go.


Online dating is a nightmare. I’m dating someone I met at work, so it’s not impossible
click to expand


Work is a good place. But anywhere public is tooooo difficult. I have tons of confidence, but I can’t just talk to random strangers I’m interested in without knowing anything and feeling comfortable. I like online dating so I get to know them behind the curtain.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Koniuchaa
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Koniuchaa
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Ownard
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Ownard
Posted by pinkbird03
Don’t change your personality. Maybe just your look. Go more edgy. Wear black shirts.
I may not have made this clear enough in my original post, but I'm not aiming to change my personality, I'm aiming to improve my ability to interact and flirt with the women I like. I'm trying to develop skills. I mean, I'm also changing up my look aswell, I'm working out and am planning on investing in a leather jacket as I've always wanted one of those.
Hmm gotcha. You should go on bumble and tinder. 1. You can practice your flirting techniques 2. You could possibly find someone that’s interested in dating you


If I'm being honest, I'm beginning to favour face to face flirting so I'm gonna work for a few months and learn what I can then get out there and meet people.

Good luck! Because it’s impossible. Online dating is the way to go.


Online dating is a nightmare. I’m dating someone I met at work, so it’s not impossible

Work is a good place. But anywhere public is tooooo difficult. I have tons of confidence, but I can’t just talk to random strangers I’m interested in without knowing anything and feeling comfortable. I like online dating so I get to know them behind the curtain.


Oh I definitely never walk up to strangers. Online dating was just a horrible experience for me and said never again
click to expand


Oh I believe you. I haven’t had a ton of luck on there. Hopefully I don’t have to go back on and everything works out with my current love interest, but we will see!
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LoveSeeker
@LoveSeeker
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 214 · Posts: 1468 · Topics: 21
Posted by Ownard
Hey guys,

I was recently rejected by my Girl Best Friend and this opened my eyes to why I have been friendzoned like this now and in the past. I am the stereotypical Nice Guy. I am trying to break these habits and have been reading some literature and articles online about this. The main things I am trying to improve are my flirting and making my intentions clear. This is the part I have trouble with. Is there any tips or advice people can give me to help me break my nice guy tendancies and be able to flirt and attract the women I like? Any advice or literature is helpful to me. Thanks

Models - Mark Manson (In progress).

How to be the Bad Boy Women Love - Ron Louis and David Copperfield.

Probably you friendzoned yourself ..you always approached her as friend
Profile picture of rabidtalker
RabidTalker
@rabidtalker
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 746 · Posts: 5608 · Topics: 190
Posted by Supes
Posted by rabidtalker
Posted by Ownard
Hey guys,

I was recently rejected by my Girl Best Friend and this opened my eyes to why I have been friendzoned like this now and in the past. I am the stereotypical Nice Guy. I am trying to break these habits and have been reading some literature and articles online about this. The main things I am trying to improve are my flirting and making my intentions clear. This is the part I have trouble with. Is there any tips or advice people can give me to help me break my nice guy tendancies and be able to flirt and attract the women I like? Any advice or literature is helpful to me. Thanks

Models - Mark Manson (In progress).

How to be the Bad Boy Women Love - Ron Louis and David Copperfield.
Just be upfront from the get-go and move onto a new woman if you get rejected. You can still be friends, just dont always be available.


It’s not about being available. If a woman isn’t responding to you favorably, move on. We all know women have their phones on them 24/7 (if they use it).
click to expand

even better.
Profile picture of Aju
Ajna
@Aju
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 872 · Posts: 1654 · Topics: 48
Posted by Ownard
Hey guys,

I was recently rejected by my Girl Best Friend and this opened my eyes to why I have been friendzoned like this now and in the past. I am the stereotypical Nice Guy. I am trying to break these habits and have been reading some literature and articles online about this. The main things I am trying to improve are my flirting and making my intentions clear. This is the part I have trouble with. Is there any tips or advice people can give me to help me break my nice guy tendancies and be able to flirt and attract the women I like? Any advice or literature is helpful to me. Thanks

Models - Mark Manson (In progress).

How to be the Bad Boy Women Love - Ron Louis and David Copperfield.
I don't think I'm one to give advice here but maybe just be comfortable with what you want

in a relationship? Im assuming being a nice guy refers to someone that is always okay with

having their wants and needs sidelined or pushed under to not seem like an ass or jerk?

To undermine your needs? I honestly believe if you are trying too hard to get with

someone then you shouldn't even be with them. Keep it natural and organic.

You push, She pushes too. It's not just you you you.

Love what you have and let them see it.



and no...haha no just whats down stairs. but

your talents and your own style /who you are.

You see their value so let them see yours too.
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hellosaggy
@hellosaggy
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 32 · Posts: 1601 · Topics: 87
Lol I really don’t understand what OP is saying.

There is nothing wrong with being a nice guy. Or a good man.

Your problem is you are too available and conformist

Exo is right too. No point in switching your style up to bag women when you have no game plan for it.

And you don’t know how to deal with women it’s going to blow up badly.

Get your own self together. And then set boundaries and expectations. Then You won’t have problems finding a girl you like.

Just know you can make any woman pay attention. Its still on them to want you. Rejection and misses come with the territory
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Soul
@Soul
10 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 2309 · Posts: 17026 · Topics: 110
The problem is once you're the bad guy you don't care anymore, and end up a m loner because of that. It comes with the package.

One day she will realize you were the best she could have had. She could even be old and alone by then, or have all the money in the world but still feel no connection or loved.

I've played the bad guy with women my whole life. I've ended up with a bunch of crazy bitches trying to get me to commit when really I want nothing to do with them. I've never been rejected once in my life, so I'm afraid what will happen to my ego if I try with someone I really want to make happy. So I end up alone. With nothing but a bottle of liquor.

The way with dealing with rejection isn't turning into a bad guy. That will just lead you down a path you hate. Better thing to do is move on and go to the next. You don't need her if she doesn't need you, but guess what? There's a woman out there that wants your warm genuine embrace, and will want hold you tight as you look down into her eyes. Bad guys don't get that. We ruin women.
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Okay

You manage to break your nice boy habits, you're smooth with chicks, you get laid alot and you got 5 chicks minimum at any give time wanting to date you.

What's the plan after that?
My plan isn't to simply "get laid a lot". I want to get better with women so in the future when I meet women I really like then I can be able to pursue them as a proper man should.
I see.

Can you pinpoint to the exact moment when you believe you were put in the friendzone?

I.e. what went on


In case you weren't following his previous posts detailing his situation:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/how-can-i-flirt-with-this-leo--9417786/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/how-do-i-tell-her-i-like-her-more-than-a-friend--9458687/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today--9554775/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today-update--9703716/

As you can tell this particular series of events has kept my attention.
I'm speechless..

@Ownard

Brother, you are the king of Pisces.

click to expand

Yeah, it's a bit pathetic, ain't it?
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Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by Chuckcem
You'll need to work on you first. Your confidence and self esteem are essential building blocks to getting what you're looking to accomplish. I just sent you a message regarding how to start this process, but you'll need to focus less on "proving" yourself and more on being internally (and possibly externally) strong.

Don't worry about being a "player" or a "bad boy", it's all about being direct and decisive. It's also about having the confidence of finding a confident woman. Being a player or a bad boy is effective for guys who are seeking women with low self esteem. Trust me, you don't want to attract those type of women.
Thanks a bunch chuck. I'll check out your message and do what I can. I'm reading these books because I simply just want to learn and this seems to be the most effective way to do so. I'm going to be sorting myself out so I don't have to post a string of posts for advice
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by LoveSeeker
Posted by Ownard
Hey guys,

I was recently rejected by my Girl Best Friend and this opened my eyes to why I have been friendzoned like this now and in the past. I am the stereotypical Nice Guy. I am trying to break these habits and have been reading some literature and articles online about this. The main things I am trying to improve are my flirting and making my intentions clear. This is the part I have trouble with. Is there any tips or advice people can give me to help me break my nice guy tendancies and be able to flirt and attract the women I like? Any advice or literature is helpful to me. Thanks

Models - Mark Manson (In progress).

How to be the Bad Boy Women Love - Ron Louis and David Copperfield.

Probably you friendzoned yourself ..you always approached her as friend

click to expand

Yeah, this is what and why I'm trying to learn and improve. I did attempt to flirt but they weren't very good a d I don't think she got that message.
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by Soul
The problem is once you're the bad guy you don't care anymore, and end up a m loner because of that. It comes with the package.

One day she will realize you were the best she could have had. She could even be old and alone by then, or have all the money in the world but still feel no connection or loved.

I've played the bad guy with women my whole life. I've ended up with a bunch of crazy bitches trying to get me to commit when really I want nothing to do with them. I've never been rejected once in my life, so I'm afraid what will happen to my ego if I try with someone I really want to make happy. So I end up alone. With nothing but a bottle of liquor.

The way with dealing with rejection isn't turning into a bad guy. That will just lead you down a path you hate. Better thing to do is move on and go to the next. You don't need her if she doesn't need you, but guess what? There's a woman out there that wants your warm genuine embrace, and will want hold you tight as you look down into her eyes. Bad guys don't get that. We ruin women.
As I've said before. I'm not trying to become a bad boy. I want to improve my ability to flirt and make my intentions known and develop my abilities in this department. I'm not going to change myself because I don't want to decisive myself, I want to improve skills.
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HippieGem
@HippieGem
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 183 · Posts: 1056 · Topics: 6
Posted by Ownard
Hey guys,

I was recently rejected by my Girl Best Friend and this opened my eyes to why I have been friendzoned like this now and in the past. I am the stereotypical Nice Guy. I am trying to break these habits and have been reading some literature and articles online about this. The main things I am trying to improve are my flirting and making my intentions clear. This is the part I have trouble with. Is there any tips or advice people can give me to help me break my nice guy tendancies and be able to flirt and attract the women I like? Any advice or literature is helpful to me. Thanks

Models - Mark Manson (In progress).

How to be the Bad Boy Women Love - Ron Louis and David Copperfield.
You shouldn’t try to not be a nice guy. The thing is, the majority of us appreciate it. I can’t speak for all women.

But as for as seriously relationships, nothing is more beautiful and sexy than a man who can choose a different path, but wants to travel down the one we’re going.
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Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Okay

You manage to break your nice boy habits, you're smooth with chicks, you get laid alot and you got 5 chicks minimum at any give time wanting to date you.

What's the plan after that?
My plan isn't to simply "get laid a lot". I want to get better with women so in the future when I meet women I really like then I can be able to pursue them as a proper man should.
I see.

Can you pinpoint to the exact moment when you believe you were put in the friendzone?

I.e. what went on


In case you weren't following his previous posts detailing his situation:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/how-can-i-flirt-with-this-leo--9417786/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/how-do-i-tell-her-i-like-her-more-than-a-friend--9458687/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today--9554775/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today-update--9703716/

As you can tell this particular series of events has kept my attention.
I'm speechless..

@Ownard

Brother, you are the king of Pisces.


Yeah, it's a bit pathetic, ain't it?
Yeah but now I'm more interested in the fedora.

Do you wear a fedora?

It would explain alot
click to expand

No, I don't wear hats at all.
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Okay

You manage to break your nice boy habits, you're smooth with chicks, you get laid alot and you got 5 chicks minimum at any give time wanting to date you.

What's the plan after that?
My plan isn't to simply "get laid a lot". I want to get better with women so in the future when I meet women I really like then I can be able to pursue them as a proper man should.
I see.

Can you pinpoint to the exact moment when you believe you were put in the friendzone?

I.e. what went on


In case you weren't following his previous posts detailing his situation:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/how-can-i-flirt-with-this-leo--9417786/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/how-do-i-tell-her-i-like-her-more-than-a-friend--9458687/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today--9554775/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today-update--9703716/

As you can tell this particular series of events has kept my attention.
I'm speechless..

@Ownard

Brother, you are the king of Pisces.


Yeah, it's a bit pathetic, ain't it?
Yeah but now I'm more interested in the fedora.

Do you wear a fedora?

It would explain alot
No, I don't wear hats at all.
Okay, try this next time.

Invite her anywhere, sit down so she's facing you, take a 4 second stare at her tits, make sure she sees you doing this.

After the 4 seconds, keep looking at them and say this "you actually have nice breasts".

She will be confused and smile, she will ask you like " what?".

Continue with bullshit "alot of girls usually got something off, yours are nice tho. Then again, haven't seen them yet".

Continue the date like nothing happened.
click to expand

Well this is interesting. Has it ever worked for you?
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by Seleukos
As someone who got called bad boy and nice guy all over the place although i was just doing what i always do i can tell you those terms are bullshit.

Some women called me both in a span of minutes.

There are bad boys that genuinely care about the women and nice guys who are plain assholes.

The best way is to be yourself. Everything leads to nothing but trouble in the long run.

I know you said you just want to get better at flirting but the same thing applies to flirting.

You just have to get over the fear of social rejection, which is the biggest hinderance for men when it comes to flirting.

Above all things: Flirting should be fun. You should find a way of flirting that you are okay with and you can enjoy. Even if it leads to nothing. If you use flirting as a chore you go through to get someone into the sheets it would get you nowhere in the end.

Elaboration:

Two of the main atributes of a classical bad boy are his independence and that he does that he wants.

Those attributes are not exclusive to assholes. You can be friendly in you own way.

A bad boy who is bad boy because it works doesn't really understand what makes a bad boy special.
Again, I'm not wanting to become a "bad boy". I simply want to develop my skills and learn.
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by Seleukos
Posted by Ownard
Posted by Seleukos
As someone who got called bad boy and nice guy all over the place although i was just doing what i always do i can tell you those terms are bullshit.

Some women called me both in a span of minutes.

There are bad boys that genuinely care about the women and nice guys who are plain assholes.

The best way is to be yourself. Everything leads to nothing but trouble in the long run.

I know you said you just want to get better at flirting but the same thing applies to flirting.

You just have to get over the fear of social rejection, which is the biggest hinderance for men when it comes to flirting.

Above all things: Flirting should be fun. You should find a way of flirting that you are okay with and you can enjoy. Even if it leads to nothing. If you use flirting as a chore you go through to get someone into the sheets it would get you nowhere in the end.

Elaboration:

Two of the main atributes of a classical bad boy are his independence and that he does that he wants.

Those attributes are not exclusive to assholes. You can be friendly in you own way.

A bad boy who is bad boy because it works doesn't really understand what makes a bad boy special.
Again, I'm not wanting to become a "bad boy". I simply want to develop my skills and learn.
I know, I got that.

Thats why i pointed out what the main obstacles are and what good aspects regarding the process of flirting of the bad boy you want to integrate.

The rest was more of an extended explanation to be as clear as possible.
click to expand

Thanks
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Okay

You manage to break your nice boy habits, you're smooth with chicks, you get laid alot and you got 5 chicks minimum at any give time wanting to date you.

What's the plan after that?
My plan isn't to simply "get laid a lot". I want to get better with women so in the future when I meet women I really like then I can be able to pursue them as a proper man should.
I see.

Can you pinpoint to the exact moment when you believe you were put in the friendzone?

I.e. what went on


In case you weren't following his previous posts detailing his situation:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/how-can-i-flirt-with-this-leo--9417786/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/how-do-i-tell-her-i-like-her-more-than-a-friend--9458687/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today--9554775/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today-update--9703716/

As you can tell this particular series of events has kept my attention.
I'm speechless..

@Ownard

Brother, you are the king of Pisces.


Yeah, it's a bit pathetic, ain't it?
Yeah but now I'm more interested in the fedora.

Do you wear a fedora?

It would explain alot
No, I don't wear hats at all.
Okay, try this next time.

Invite her anywhere, sit down so she's facing you, take a 4 second stare at her tits, make sure she sees you doing this.

After the 4 seconds, keep looking at them and say this "you actually have nice breasts".

She will be confused and smile, she will ask you like " what?".

Continue with bullshit "alot of girls usually got something off, yours are nice tho. Then again, haven't seen them yet".

Continue the date like nothing happened.
Well this is interesting. Has it ever worked for you?
Basic rule is if you're handsome = you can pretty much say anything and it'll be all good.

Look in the mirror and give yourself a realistic number.

If you're a 5, this will fly with 3's.

A 8, it'll fly with 6/7's etc.

click to expand

Eh, I don't think I'm all that good looking but girls in the past have told me I am handsome so I don't know.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Rejection is a blessing.

A "NO" is permission to seek a "YES" some place else.

Always ask early on if someone is interested. Don't waste time debating, fearing rejection, etc.

Ask, get an answer, proceed

So many ppl get stuck for months in the confused stage, biding time, playing games

Ask, get an answer, proceed

Rejection will be far less scary and asking women out will be easy breezy
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Okay

You manage to break your nice boy habits, you're smooth with chicks, you get laid alot and you got 5 chicks minimum at any give time wanting to date you.

What's the plan after that?
My plan isn't to simply "get laid a lot". I want to get better with women so in the future when I meet women I really like then I can be able to pursue them as a proper man should.
I see.

Can you pinpoint to the exact moment when you believe you were put in the friendzone?

I.e. what went on


In case you weren't following his previous posts detailing his situation:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/how-can-i-flirt-with-this-leo--9417786/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/how-do-i-tell-her-i-like-her-more-than-a-friend--9458687/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today--9554775/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today-update--9703716/

As you can tell this particular series of events has kept my attention.
I'm speechless..

@Ownard

Brother, you are the king of Pisces.


Yeah, it's a bit pathetic, ain't it?
Yeah but now I'm more interested in the fedora.

Do you wear a fedora?

It would explain alot
No, I don't wear hats at all.
Okay, try this next time.

Invite her anywhere, sit down so she's facing you, take a 4 second stare at her tits, make sure she sees you doing this.

After the 4 seconds, keep looking at them and say this "you actually have nice breasts".

She will be confused and smile, she will ask you like " what?".

Continue with bullshit "alot of girls usually got something off, yours are nice tho. Then again, haven't seen them yet".

Continue the date like nothing happened.
Well this is interesting. Has it ever worked for you?
Basic rule is if you're handsome = you can pretty much say anything and it'll be all good.

Look in the mirror and give yourself a realistic number.

If you're a 5, this will fly with 3's.

A 8, it'll fly with 6/7's etc.


Eh, I don't think I'm all that good looking but girls in the past have told me I am handsome so I don't know.
Mmk

Here are some clues that you're above average

Ask yourself if you've seen this happen

-They notice you anywhere you go and either stare or take side-glances.

^if they are with their boyfriends, the boyfriend either looks at you angry or gets nervous.

-They listen to you carefully and start laughing at most normal stuff you decide to say

-You smile = they smile

-You can fuck up bad and you're still forgiven

-When you talk, they lean forward and the eyes light up with a smile

^these are typical.

If you noticed atleast 3 of these happening in your life = you are handsome.

Problem is then that you don't understand the signals you're being given.

That she already threw the ball to you and you keep on pursuing.

Metaphor:

Dude playing basketball, caught the ball and just keeps running with the ball all over the court.

Everyones thinking "Wtf is this dumbass doing?"

Does any of this sound familiar?



click to expand

Yeah, I'm getting those signals but I honestly don't get the rest of what you're saying.
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by TomSawyer
Posted by Ownard
Posted by TomSawyer
Okay

You manage to break your nice boy habits, you're smooth with chicks, you get laid alot and you got 5 chicks minimum at any give time wanting to date you.

What's the plan after that?
My plan isn't to simply "get laid a lot". I want to get better with women so in the future when I meet women I really like then I can be able to pursue them as a proper man should.
I see.

Can you pinpoint to the exact moment when you believe you were put in the friendzone?

I.e. what went on


In case you weren't following his previous posts detailing his situation:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/how-can-i-flirt-with-this-leo--9417786/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/how-do-i-tell-her-i-like-her-more-than-a-friend--9458687/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today--9554775/

AND

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/told-her-i-like-her-today-update--9703716/

As you can tell this particular series of events has kept my attention.
I'm speechless..

@Ownard

Brother, you are the king of Pisces.


Yeah, it's a bit pathetic, ain't it?
Yeah but now I'm more interested in the fedora.

Do you wear a fedora?

It would explain alot
No, I don't wear hats at all.
Okay, try this next time.

Invite her anywhere, sit down so she's facing you, take a 4 second stare at her tits, make sure she sees you doing this.

After the 4 seconds, keep looking at them and say this "you actually have nice breasts".

She will be confused and smile, she will ask you like " what?".

Continue with bullshit "alot of girls usually got something off, yours are nice tho. Then again, haven't seen them yet".

Continue the date like nothing happened.
Well this is interesting. Has it ever worked for you?
Basic rule is if you're handsome = you can pretty much say anything and it'll be all good.

Look in the mirror and give yourself a realistic number.

If you're a 5, this will fly with 3's.

A 8, it'll fly with 6/7's etc.


Eh, I don't think I'm all that good looking but girls in the past have told me I am handsome so I don't know.
Mmk

Here are some clues that you're above average

Ask yourself if you've seen this happen

-They notice you anywhere you go and either stare or take side-glances.

^if they are with their boyfriends, the boyfriend either looks at you angry or gets nervous.

-They listen to you carefully and start laughing at most normal stuff you decide to say

-You smile = they smile

-You can fuck up bad and you're still forgiven

-When you talk, they lean forward and the eyes light up with a smile

^these are typical.

If you noticed atleast 3 of these happening in your life = you are handsome.

Problem is then that you don't understand the signals you're being given.

That she already threw the ball to you and you keep on pursuing.

Metaphor:

Dude playing basketball, caught the ball and just keeps running with the ball all over the court.

Everyones thinking "Wtf is this dumbass doing?"

Does any of this sound familiar?




Yeah, I'm getting those signals but I honestly don't get the rest of what you're saying.
In a nutshell:

Stop trying so hard, keep your mouth shut any time you think it's a good idea to tell her how you feel, let it flow naturally, be mysterious/let her try figuring you out and good luck.
click to expand

Thanks
Profile picture of Ownard
Ownard
@Ownard
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 293 · Topics: 30
Posted by xXxBitcheroniiiXxX
Posted by Ownard
Posted by xXxBitcheroniiiXxX
Posted by Ownard
Posted by xXxBitcheroniiiXxX
You seem to be at level 2.

Image Not Found
Any way to get to level 0?

Don't be that guy who subconsciously blames women for why he can't get a date.


Nah, I see the problems in what I've done and I want to fix them.

First off, can we stop with the innocent guy act? lol



Unless you're a kid I doubt you're this clueless about women. Like, stop.



Anyway, let's address this book: "How to be the Bad Boy Women Love"



The book title alone implies that you have to be a bad boy (mistreat women) in order to gain their "love".



By subscribing to this idea what you're really saying is women need to be treated like shit because the "nice guy" routine isn't working. It's "their fault".



Your thought process seems to be more like: "Women don't want 'nice guys' like me, so it's time to treat them like shit".



So yeah, you subconsciously blame women and their "desire to be mistreated" as to why you can't get a date.



Newsflash: Nice guys don't have to say they're nice guys. If you are a genuinely nice guy, it shows.



If you have to say it, it's most likely not true and you're in denial about some of your own toxic behavior.
click to expand

I would like to rebut this. I've got little experience with women other than rejection, that is why I want to learn. It ain't an act, I was raised on the idea that if you're not good at something learn from someone who is.

As for the book, the title itself is deceiving. It's less about treating girls like crap than standing up for yourself. If a girl is being a bitch needlessly, this book is about giving to tools to help deal with this.

And I'm not saying I want to treat girls like shit. I really don't. I've just seen what I'm doing wrong in the regards of putting out my intentions and flirting and I'm trying to fix those. The "Nice Guy" label is just the best way I've found of describing my situation.
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