I’m finding it really difficult to deal with family members that have been borderline cruel since the passing of my mother. They’ve been really nasty and callous toward me since her passing. They’ve tried to guilt trip me and convince me I was an awful child. I’ve had no support from any of them since her death. No one has called to see if I am coping (I don’t have a father and no siblings. No partner in the picture. No one to share the grief with). No one has tried to visit or see if I need any moral support. I feel completely isolated and very lonely. My mother was my best friend and extremely close to me. We did have a few ups and downs with some quite, at times, heated arguments where we wouldn’t speak for a few days. These trivial upsets aside we loved each other dearly and spent a lot of time together. I already feel desperately grief stricken since her death but it’s made worse by the callousness of my family. They’re extremely uncaring and act very coldly toward me. I don’t know what to do.
Want to talk about toxic family

Hey. You just joined a really shitty club, but I want you to know you’re in good company. I’m sorry your family isn’t being supportive, but there are so many other ways to get help if you need it. You’re not alone. ❤️

not enough to go on here but yes, seek counsel
You've posted on here before. Most likely changed your name. GO BACK and read the advice given to you and implement them. You need to go into a shelter to escape these toxic people. They're NOT you're family. They are your RELATIVES. You need to be willing to start from scratch by stepping out on faith and opening a new chapter in your life. I recall giving you a site that would help you even more: www.elderwisdomcircle.org It's apparent to me that you're in a vicious cycle because you REFUSE to take a way out.
Additionally, I'm speaking FROM experience so I know what I'm talking about. I lost my mother too. I've removed myself from those remaining who are not an ASSET to the life I'm looking to live.
Additionally, I'm speaking FROM experience so I know what I'm talking about. I lost my mother too. I've removed myself from those remaining who are not an ASSET to the life I'm looking to live.

The one good thing about tragedy is it becomes apparent very quickly who is ride or die for you.

Posted by Chimney
I’m finding it really difficult to deal with family members that have been borderline cruel since the passing of my mother. They’ve been really nasty and callous toward me since her passing. They’ve tried to guilt trip me and convince me I was an awful child. I’ve had no support from any of them since her death. No one has called to see if I am coping (I don’t have a father and no siblings. No partner in the picture. No one to share the grief with). No one has tried to visit or see if I need any moral support. I feel completely isolated and very lonely. My mother was my best friend and extremely close to me. We did have a few ups and downs with some quite, at times, heated arguments where we wouldn’t speak for a few days. These trivial upsets aside we loved each other dearly and spent a lot of time together. I already feel desperately grief stricken since her death but it’s made worse by the callousness of my family. They’re extremely uncaring and act very coldly toward me. I don’t know what to do.
Sorry to read this😢. My condolences

Posted by sweetpea2977
You've posted on here before. Most likely changed your name. GO BACK and read the advice given to you and implement them. You need to go into a shelter to escape these toxic people. They're NOT you're family. They are your RELATIVES. You need to be willing to start from scratch by stepping out on faith and opening a new chapter in your life. I recall giving you a site that would help you even more: www.elderwisdomcircle.org It's apparent to me that you're in a vicious cycle because you REFUSE to take a way out.
Additionally, I'm speaking FROM experience so I know what I'm talking about. I lost my mother too. I've removed myself from those remaining who a few are not an ASSET to the life I'm looking to live.
How can you change your username and come back without that multiple account tag?

Posted by Chimney
I’m finding it really difficult to deal with family members that have been borderline cruel since the passing of my mother. They’ve been really nasty and callous toward me since her passing. They’ve tried to guilt trip me and convince me I was an awful child. I’ve had no support from any of them since her death. No one has called to see if I am coping (I don’t have a father and no siblings. No partner in the picture. No one to share the grief with). No one has tried to visit or see if I need any moral support. I feel completely isolated and very lonely. My mother was my best friend and extremely close to me. We did have a few ups and downs with some quite, at times, heated arguments where we wouldn’t speak for a few days. These trivial upsets aside we loved each other dearly and spent a lot of time together. I already feel desperately grief stricken since her death but it’s made worse by the callousness of my family. They’re extremely uncaring and act very coldly toward me. I don’t know what to do.
I losing my mom since I was 6 Years old
And immediately move to another home with new step mother and my father change 180°
My step mom always make the home full of disaster and telling all my fault to neighbor and family and plus some manipulative story..
I grew up seeing people mocking behind my back.
My advice as a person that know what's you feel..
Cuz I know people can make a good words but there's no guarantee they are as good as their words or not 😂
Keep this in mind:
Don't let all of that nasty person let you down.
Head up.. you can still built your future..
Fight for it
Live a healthy live.. cuz if you having plan to have children.. don't let yourself die too soon cuz disease.
Make relationship
If your family is an asshole..
Make another family with your friends or boyfriend
If you don't trust people.. it's okay
You still having yourself
Your mom must be sad if you can't live a good life bcs she died
Proof to her you can become a strong person and still can live a happy live
Make money
Treat yourself
Do everything that you want
Remove toxic people from your live
You still have time to make a happy live in future
Stay strong
Believe in yourself
Posted by Phangus
Hi. I don't really have advice, but wanted to say I read your post and am sorry you're dealing with this. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Though you’re a stranger, your extending sympathy during a very lonely and difficult period does mean a lot. I haven’t received much of this since her passing and so even ‘sorry for your loss’ is heartening.
Posted by Jumpin_JupiterPosted by Chimney
I’m finding it really difficult to deal with family members that have been borderline cruel since the passing of my mother. They’ve been really nasty and callous toward me since her passing. They’ve tried to guilt trip me and convince me I was an awful child. I’ve had no support from any of them since her death. No one has called to see if I am coping (I don’t have a father and no siblings. No partner in the picture. No one to share the grief with). No one has tried to visit or see if I need any moral support. I feel completely isolated and very lonely. My mother was my best friend and extremely close to me. We did have a few ups and downs with some quite, at times, heated arguments where we wouldn’t speak for a few days. These trivial upsets aside we loved each other dearly and spent a lot of time together. I already feel desperately grief stricken since her death but it’s made worse by the callousness of my family. They’re extremely uncaring and act very coldly toward me. I don’t know what to do.
Sorry to read this😢. My condolencesclick to expand
Thank you for this.
Posted by peachy06
That curiously reminds me of a similar thing that happened to someone I know. Humans always show their real faces when somebody dies. Sorry for you, it must be hard... Families aren't always good.
Why is that though? These people would’ve never so much as raised an eyebrow to me when my mother was around. I don’t want to say she was a shield as such as I have always been outspoken and able to stand my ground but since her passing it’s been open season on me from those that are blood related to me. The people I expected to come together during such a difficult time and hold me together.
Posted by NemDeuxPosted by Chimney
I’m finding it really difficult to deal with family members that have been borderline cruel since the passing of my mother. They’ve been really nasty and callous toward me since her passing. They’ve tried to guilt trip me and convince me I was an awful child. I’ve had no support from any of them since her death. No one has called to see if I am coping (I don’t have a father and no siblings. No partner in the picture. No one to share the grief with). No one has tried to visit or see if I need any moral support. I feel completely isolated and very lonely. My mother was my best friend and extremely close to me. We did have a few ups and downs with some quite, at times, heated arguments where we wouldn’t speak for a few days. These trivial upsets aside we loved each other dearly and spent a lot of time together. I already feel desperately grief stricken since her death but it’s made worse by the callousness of my family. They’re extremely uncaring and act very coldly toward me. I don’t know what to do.
not that it´s important -----but you specifically mentioned, they have been cruel since your mother´s passing. were they different before? is there any inheritance issues that might be coming up?
my condolences ....there are no words of comfort. time will be your friend, even if it sounds like a phrase.
in light of these circumstances ....one often sees life through a new lense. death forces us to mature.click to expand
Yes nem, they have been really cruel and callous since she died. They were never like this before. I feel that they hold it against me that I wasn’t a paragon of perfection as a child. I had a very difficult childhood but tried my utmost to be a good child to my mother. Tried to support her, tried to be there for her and help her. As mentioned, we had some heated arguments which everyone with in the family now discusses (gossip mill is always rife with in our family dynamic) and holds this against me almost as though they blame me. I can’t understand how my trivial grievances with her (as all individuals have with in families) have turned them so stone hearted against me. They know I’m completely alone and struggling with the grief. I’ve never been so low and despressed in my entire life. It pains me to even think of my mother and I haven’t been doing well health wise since she died. I really needed their support but am totally alone.
Posted by 7s
Find a grief counselor online. You can probably find one that's free.
Sorry for your loss.
Cut those people off! Death of a family member is not something you get over, it's something you get through. Go through the motions and stay positive.
You'll be fine.
Thank you 7s.
What steps do you suggest I take? I have been heavily entrenched in depression and am so low that I can’t function as well on a day to day basis. The mere fact that my mother will never come back is destroying me. It’s a reality I can’t take.
Posted by hippiecrite
Hey. You just joined a really shitty club, but I want you to know you’re in good company. I’m sorry your family isn’t being supportive, but there are so many other ways to get help if you need it. You’re not alone. ❤️
Thanks so much. It means a lot.
How do I go on? I can’t take the fact that I’ll never see her again. It’s unbelievably painful and every time I think of her I feel so sick inside. I feel so hard done by life and feel angry that those around me have a family, loved ones, parents to support them and that they can still see/spend time with and I have no one at all.
Posted by NemDeuxPosted by Chimney
I’m finding it really difficult to deal with family members that have been borderline cruel since the passing of my mother. They’ve been really nasty and callous toward me since her passing. They’ve tried to guilt trip me and convince me I was an awful child. I’ve had no support from any of them since her death. No one has called to see if I am coping (I don’t have a father and no siblings. No partner in the picture. No one to share the grief with). No one has tried to visit or see if I need any moral support. I feel completely isolated and very lonely. My mother was my best friend and extremely close to me. We did have a few ups and downs with some quite, at times, heated arguments where we wouldn’t speak for a few days. These trivial upsets aside we loved each other dearly and spent a lot of time together. I already feel desperately grief stricken since her death but it’s made worse by the callousness of my family. They’re extremely uncaring and act very coldly toward me. I don’t know what to do.
not that it´s important -----but you specifically mentioned, they have been cruel since your mother´s passing. were they different before? is there any inheritance issues that might be coming up?
my condolences ....there are no words of comfort. time will be your friend, even if it sounds like a phrase.
in light of these circumstances ....one often sees life through a new lense. death forces us to mature.click to expand
There is an issue with some inheritance that a family friend by default became in charge of which was left to me by my mother. This family friend has stolen one of my mother’s valuable (sentimental value) items and has said they won’t return it in exchange for me having access to this fund.
Posted by LadyNeptune
The one good thing about tragedy is it becomes apparent very quickly who is ride or die for you.
I don’t understand their callousness. They don’t seem to care at all if I am coping well or not.
Posted by sweetpea2977
You've posted on here before. Most likely changed your name. GO BACK and read the advice given to you and implement them. You need to go into a shelter to escape these toxic people. They're NOT you're family. They are your RELATIVES. You need to be willing to start from scratch by stepping out on faith and opening a new chapter in your life. I recall giving you a site that would help you even more: www.elderwisdomcircle.org It's apparent to me that you're in a vicious cycle because you REFUSE to take a way out.
Additionally, I'm speaking FROM experience so I know what I'm talking about. I lost my mother too. I've removed myself from those remaining who a few are not an ASSET to the life I'm looking to live.
Thank you for the website. I will definitely have a look. I am prepared to take all the necessary steps to be rid of this toxicity. Believe me. I just need some guidance right now as I’m finding it hard to cope with her passing which is made worse by how they treat me. They will literally speak to me like I’m something dirty they stepped on. Complete disregard for my grief and situation. They will continue to speak to me like I’m a dog and if I ever say anything back they all collectively try to slap me down (one tells the other, the other calls me and says something shitty etc). I want to block them all out but sometimes fear that I’ll be left completely alone. Also, one of these individuals by default became in charge of a fund my mother left behind for me. They have stolen something valuable and won’t return it on the basis that they’ll allow me access to this fund as long as I let them keep this valuable item.
Posted by ChimneyPosted by sweetpea2977
You've posted on here before. Most likely changed your name. GO BACK and read the advice given to you and implement them. You need to go into a shelter to escape these toxic people. They're NOT you're family. They are your RELATIVES. You need to be willing to start from scratch by stepping out on faith and opening a new chapter in your life. I recall giving you a site that would help you even more: www.elderwisdomcircle.org It's apparent to me that you're in a vicious cycle because you REFUSE to take a way out.
Additionally, I'm speaking FROM experience so I know what I'm talking about. I lost my mother too. I've removed myself from those remaining who a few are not an ASSET to the life I'm looking to live.
Thank you for the website. I will definitely have a look. I am prepared to take all the necessary steps to be rid of this toxicity. Believe me. I just need some guidance right now as I’m finding it hard to cope with her passing which is made worse by how they treat me. They will literally speak to me like I’m something dirty they stepped on. Complete disregard for my grief and situation. They will continue to speak to me like I’m a dog and if I ever say anything back they all collectively try to slap me down (one tells the other, the other calls me and says something shitty etc). I want to block them all out but sometimes fear that I’ll be left completely alone. Also, one of these individuals by default became in charge of a fund my mother left behind for me. They have stolen something valuable and won’t return it on the basis that they’ll allow me access to this fund as long as I let them keep this valuable item.click to expand
Toxic environments cause long term damage but being alone is temporary. And, being alone is not the same as being lonely. Being alone is a great space in which to get your thoughts and plan together without negative distractions.
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by ChimneyPosted by sweetpea2977
You've posted on here before. Most likely changed your name. GO BACK and read the advice given to you and implement them. You need to go into a shelter to escape these toxic people. They're NOT you're family. They are your RELATIVES. You need to be willing to start from scratch by stepping out on faith and opening a new chapter in your life. I recall giving you a site that would help you even more: www.elderwisdomcircle.org It's apparent to me that you're in a vicious cycle because you REFUSE to take a way out.
Additionally, I'm speaking FROM experience so I know what I'm talking about. I lost my mother too. I've removed myself from those remaining who a few are not an ASSET to the life I'm looking to live.
Thank you for the website. I will definitely have a look. I am prepared to take all the necessary steps to be rid of this toxicity. Believe me. I just need some guidance right now as I’m finding it hard to cope with her passing which is made worse by how they treat me. They will literally speak to me like I’m something dirty they stepped on. Complete disregard for my grief and situation. They will continue to speak to me like I’m a dog and if I ever say anything back they all collectively try to slap me down (one tells the other, the other calls me and says something shitty etc). I want to block them all out but sometimes fear that I’ll be left completely alone. Also, one of these individuals by default became in charge of a fund my mother left behind for me. They have stolen something valuable and won’t return it on the basis that they’ll allow me access to this fund as long as I let them keep this valuable item.
Toxic environments cause long term damage but being alone is temporary. And, being alone is not the same as being lonely. Being alone is a great space in which to get your thoughts and plan together without negative distractions.click to expand
This is very true. I completely agree that toxic environments are far more harmful for the mind, body and soul.
I think my concern is also more so that if anything untoward or bad ever happened (illness etc) I would be completely alone with no one to help me.
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by ChimneyPosted by sweetpea2977
You've posted on here before. Most likely changed your name. GO BACK and read the advice given to you and implement them. You need to go into a shelter to escape these toxic people. They're NOT you're family. They are your RELATIVES. You need to be willing to start from scratch by stepping out on faith and opening a new chapter in your life. I recall giving you a site that would help you even more: www.elderwisdomcircle.org It's apparent to me that you're in a vicious cycle because you REFUSE to take a way out.
Additionally, I'm speaking FROM experience so I know what I'm talking about. I lost my mother too. I've removed myself from those remaining who a few are not an ASSET to the life I'm looking to live.
Thank you for the website. I will definitely have a look. I am prepared to take all the necessary steps to be rid of this toxicity. Believe me. I just need some guidance right now as I’m finding it hard to cope with her passing which is made worse by how they treat me. They will literally speak to me like I’m something dirty they stepped on. Complete disregard for my grief and situation. They will continue to speak to me like I’m a dog and if I ever say anything back they all collectively try to slap me down (one tells the other, the other calls me and says something shitty etc). I want to block them all out but sometimes fear that I’ll be left completely alone. Also, one of these individuals by default became in charge of a fund my mother left behind for me. They have stolen something valuable and won’t return it on the basis that they’ll allow me access to this fund as long as I let them keep this valuable item.
Toxic environments cause long term damage but being alone is temporary. And, being alone is not the same as being lonely. Being alone is a great space in which to get your thoughts and plan together without negative distractions.click to expand
This is very true. I completely agree that toxic environments are far more harmful for the mind, body and soul.
I think my concern is also more so that if anything untoward or bad ever happened (illness etc) I would be completely alone with no one to help me.
Posted by Arielle83
Are they after her money and claiming you don’t deserve it?
They are more so barring me from accessing it and claiming I don’t deserve it UNLESS I bow down and eat their shit essentially. As mentioned one of them had stolen something from me and said I should forget about retrieving it as that’s the only way they’ll allow access to that fund. I feel incredibly violated and feel their treatment is so inhumane.
Posted by Arielle83
Are they after her money and claiming you don’t deserve it?
They are more so barring me from accessing it and claiming I don’t deserve it UNLESS I bow down and eat their shit essentially. As mentioned one of them had stolen something from me and said I should forget about retrieving it as that’s the only way they’ll allow access to that fund. I feel incredibly violated and feel their treatment is so inhumane.

Posted by ChimneyPosted by hippiecrite
Hey. You just joined a really shitty club, but I want you to know you’re in good company. I’m sorry your family isn’t being supportive, but there are so many other ways to get help if you need it. You’re not alone. ❤️
Thanks so much. It means a lot.
How do I go on? I can’t take the fact that I’ll never see her again. It’s unbelievably painful and every time I think of her I feel so sick inside. I feel so hard done by life and feel angry that those around me have a family, loved ones, parents to support them and that they can still see/spend time with and I have no one at all.click to expand
For months, I’d go to pick up the phone to call her before remembering she wasn’t there. I’d be doing something mundane, like folding towels, and just start crying. Had to stop drinking for a while, because I’d get drunk and sad and take it out on my boyfriend. Even tho I have siblings who were supportive, they live 14hrs away. Talking to them on the phone just made me feel... worse. More isolated and lonely.
She died in 2017 and I’d love to tell you I’m all better, but there are still good days and bad days. I suspect there always will be. But it *does* get better, even if “better” is just hurting a little less every day. Like I said, you’re not alone. We all have our stories. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are so many resources available to get you to the “better”.

Responded before catching up on the thread. Dunno where you live, but I’m in a decent sized city with two universities, one being a law school. They have open days where you can go and get advice, first come, first served. There’s also Legal Aid, which is very cheap or free.
There’s also a fair amount of State run help for mental health. Free or a sliding fee scale. Not to mention recovery groups at churches and community centers. Completely understand how hard it is to be your own advocate, when it’s all you can do sometimes just to get out of bed. I’m hoping you’ll get there in your own time.
There’s also a fair amount of State run help for mental health. Free or a sliding fee scale. Not to mention recovery groups at churches and community centers. Completely understand how hard it is to be your own advocate, when it’s all you can do sometimes just to get out of bed. I’m hoping you’ll get there in your own time.

Posted by ChimneyPosted by LadyNeptune
The one good thing about tragedy is it becomes apparent very quickly who is ride or die for you.
I don’t understand their callousness. They don’t seem to care at all if I am coping well or not.click to expand
Don't expend any energy trying to understand their shitiness. Just focus on yourself.

I understand what you are going through, i too have toxic family members. What i did first was bringing the subject up and tried to have a heart to heart conversation, but it made everything worse, so i decided to put some clear boundaries in between.
It's hard, because we are raised to believe that if we have any family, we are entitled to their love and support, but that's not always the case.
I hope you are doing better. I hope we hear from you soon.
Hugs.
It's hard, because we are raised to believe that if we have any family, we are entitled to their love and support, but that's not always the case.
I hope you are doing better. I hope we hear from you soon.
Hugs.
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