Afraid to take a chance!
This topic was created in the Pisces forum by Caridad on Tuesday, August 9, 2005 and has 17 replies.
I am afraid to embark on a new relationship with anyone. Even with my Gem. I am just not willing to go through it again. Is this a pisces thing or a human nature thing. I want companionship and love but not all the crap that could possible go with it. Are there normal relationships out there?
Caridad...
I think your problem is a Pisces problem...the reason I say that is because I experience the same thing with my Pisces man.
He wants intimacy and love, but when he gets it, he is afraid of the possible pitfalls in a relationship. BUT the kicker is...which is best expressed in the song by Maroon 5 "She Will be Loved"
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along..."
I think Pisces want everything to come easy...Love, money, life, etc...But it doesn't. You have to take the good with the bad and you have to make sacrifices of yourself in order for things to work.
Otherwise it is unfair to the other person involved.
CL
I think your problem is a Pisces problem...the reason I say that is because I experience the same thing with my Pisces man.
He wants intimacy and love, but when he gets it, he is afraid of the possible pitfalls in a relationship. BUT the kicker is...which is best expressed in the song by Maroon 5 "She Will be Loved"
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along..."
I think Pisces want everything to come easy...Love, money, life, etc...But it doesn't. You have to take the good with the bad and you have to make sacrifices of yourself in order for things to work.
Otherwise it is unfair to the other person involved.
CL
CancerLady
I totally agree with you. In my last relationship I was the only who compromised. I gave everything to my marriage and recieved nothing in return. Now I am afraid to jump again.
I am talking about respect and joys that out weight the bad times. Have a relationship again and feel the way I did before. With all the passion, intimiacy, and love.
I will not get involved in another relationship unless I can offer someone...everything. And I don't know how to trust someone ever again.
I totally agree with you. In my last relationship I was the only who compromised. I gave everything to my marriage and recieved nothing in return. Now I am afraid to jump again.
I am talking about respect and joys that out weight the bad times. Have a relationship again and feel the way I did before. With all the passion, intimiacy, and love.
I will not get involved in another relationship unless I can offer someone...everything. And I don't know how to trust someone ever again.
Keeping in mind individualism.Not every man is going to be like the last is one way to learn to trust people again.
CARIDAD..
Yes ? the problem is, your love life is to bound with an (insecure/paranoid/selfish/self-centred and worse??. Emotional (black mailers)..arsehole..!!
See through it and you'll find what I meant?. Avoid these people.. no matter how LOVELY they are look like ..!
They are "manipulators" and trust me.. they can show you heaven and hell in one go..!!
It is not your fault and if you are smart to "avoid those jerks" you will know that they want to "inject insecurities" to you, just to destroy your own (self worth)?.!
They want to humiliate you, because of their past faulty relationship? believe me on this please?.
Kick back as hard as you can and never trust a word from those RACE? let'em gt OLD and die in their misery....... save yourself.
But?. stay focus on your "self worth" and "dignity" and don?t let anyone steal it from you..!
Yes ? the problem is, your love life is to bound with an (insecure/paranoid/selfish/self-centred and worse??. Emotional (black mailers)..arsehole..!!
See through it and you'll find what I meant?. Avoid these people.. no matter how LOVELY they are look like ..!
They are "manipulators" and trust me.. they can show you heaven and hell in one go..!!
It is not your fault and if you are smart to "avoid those jerks" you will know that they want to "inject insecurities" to you, just to destroy your own (self worth)?.!
They want to humiliate you, because of their past faulty relationship? believe me on this please?.
Kick back as hard as you can and never trust a word from those RACE? let'em gt OLD and die in their misery....... save yourself.
But?. stay focus on your "self worth" and "dignity" and don?t let anyone steal it from you..!
Thank you both for your advice. I hope to get past this quickly. I suppose it's just the scaried pisces part of me. I miss the part of me that somehow got lost in my marriage.
I am shocked by the interest of so many of the opposite sex in my life. My husband constantly told there would never be anyone who would be interested. That I was physically beautiful but had to many emmotions. But that is just not the case. There is interest. I was wrong about that so lets hope that I am wrong that all relationship are messed up.
I am shocked by the interest of so many of the opposite sex in my life. My husband constantly told there would never be anyone who would be interested. That I was physically beautiful but had to many emmotions. But that is just not the case. There is interest. I was wrong about that so lets hope that I am wrong that all relationship are messed up.
Eh,yeah,he sounds like one of the emtional preditor guys from freebirds dangerous men post.He sounds like he was insecure so told you stuff like that so you wouldn't leave from the sound of it.What better way for someone to give up on happiness if they are told things such as thier crap basically.Your forgeting vulnerability is a pisces trait too,why is that not the first thing to come to mind when you remember those things.If there was something there before that marriage theres always the possibility of resurrecting it,you just have to remember what it was that changed it and what it was behind the good one that made that happen to gain it back.
Caridad,
It's certainly a Pisces thing to feel emotional pain so strongly and it's definitely a Pisces thing to hold on to that pain for a long time. Obviously your relationship with your husband hurt you a lot and left you with lots of emotional scarring. I've never been married so I can't begin to imagine what it must be like but I'm sure you will know and probably won't be able to help yourself once you are ready to start another relationship. Don't force yourself, concentrate on who you are, get to know yourself again and know your worth. You know your ex only tore down to make himself feel better. He told you no one else would want you so you felt worthless without him.
The truth is (and I'm not saying this as a motivator) he would love the fact that you've not been able to move on. It would make him feel pretty good about himself. And really, all that stuff he said to you worked. Screw him if thinks you're too emotional, if you are then that's who you are. There's definitely someone out there who will love you for it. You've just gotta stop thinking about how your next lover will hurt you and start thinking how happy they may make you. Your next relationship could be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
Sometimes I get really excited about what good times lay ahead. You should too!!!
It's certainly a Pisces thing to feel emotional pain so strongly and it's definitely a Pisces thing to hold on to that pain for a long time. Obviously your relationship with your husband hurt you a lot and left you with lots of emotional scarring. I've never been married so I can't begin to imagine what it must be like but I'm sure you will know and probably won't be able to help yourself once you are ready to start another relationship. Don't force yourself, concentrate on who you are, get to know yourself again and know your worth. You know your ex only tore down to make himself feel better. He told you no one else would want you so you felt worthless without him.
The truth is (and I'm not saying this as a motivator) he would love the fact that you've not been able to move on. It would make him feel pretty good about himself. And really, all that stuff he said to you worked. Screw him if thinks you're too emotional, if you are then that's who you are. There's definitely someone out there who will love you for it. You've just gotta stop thinking about how your next lover will hurt you and start thinking how happy they may make you. Your next relationship could be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
Sometimes I get really excited about what good times lay ahead. You should too!!!
Caridid.
Remember what I've said to you. P-Man only!!!
Remember what I've said to you. P-Man only!!!
A Pisces thing? That's familiar to me. I say follow your initial instincts because it's always right. Sometimes it might be confusing from not being able to identify what you're sensing and what's in front of you. Sometimes, things aren't what they seem. If you sense that something isn't right about this guy, then I suggest you take all the time you need in order for you to finally feel sure of him. Gemini's are tricky so be careful.
"You've just gotta stop thinking about how your next lover will hurt you and start thinking how happy they may make you."
This says it all! Straight from the fishies mouth! You'll be okay Caridad...just sometimes you have to take risks in love and sometimes you crap out...but it only makes the victories that much sweeter!
But don't rush into anything either, make sure your vision & heart are both clear, otherwise you might start a pattern of dating the same type of man!
CL
This says it all! Straight from the fishies mouth! You'll be okay Caridad...just sometimes you have to take risks in love and sometimes you crap out...but it only makes the victories that much sweeter!
But don't rush into anything either, make sure your vision & heart are both clear, otherwise you might start a pattern of dating the same type of man!
CL
Thank you all so much. I think I agree that I am just not ready for any kind of relationship yet. But, I will try not to turn it away at the door if it comes a knocking. But I know the "MO" of guys like my ex-husband and fully intend to avoid them at all costs. There is a whole "ownership" quality that so many guys seem to want to take with me. The guy that doesn't do that will probably be the guy I will chose to date.
The Gem sends lots of mixed signals therefore am unsure of what his intentions are. But that could just be his double side. But it helps we are good friends and we find it easy to carry on whether we are involved in the "love" stuff or not. In other words no pressure and no miss leading. I am trying to be up front with everyone even if it hurts their feelings. Which is hard for a pisces girl.
Haffo
I promise if a P-man comes along I will truly give him a chance.
Cancerlady
I wish I had your zest for life. You don't just live life you conquer it.
Dreamy-Eyez
Thank you for the advice about the Gem. And for telling me to follow my insticts. I hate making mistakes and find that I make far fewer when I follow my instincts.
BJ
You post was beautiful and I will follow advice. And I pray that your right about someone loving my emotional side.
Tiamat
Yeah, it took me an entire year to leave and another year to get a divorce. Tried counseling (preacher and psychiatrist). Both took me off to the side and said "LEAVE". Easiest and hardest thing I have ever done. There was no physical abuse or anything just lots of mental.
The Gem sends lots of mixed signals therefore am unsure of what his intentions are. But that could just be his double side. But it helps we are good friends and we find it easy to carry on whether we are involved in the "love" stuff or not. In other words no pressure and no miss leading. I am trying to be up front with everyone even if it hurts their feelings. Which is hard for a pisces girl.
Haffo
I promise if a P-man comes along I will truly give him a chance.
Cancerlady
I wish I had your zest for life. You don't just live life you conquer it.
Dreamy-Eyez
Thank you for the advice about the Gem. And for telling me to follow my insticts. I hate making mistakes and find that I make far fewer when I follow my instincts.
BJ
You post was beautiful and I will follow advice. And I pray that your right about someone loving my emotional side.
Tiamat
Yeah, it took me an entire year to leave and another year to get a divorce. Tried counseling (preacher and psychiatrist). Both took me off to the side and said "LEAVE". Easiest and hardest thing I have ever done. There was no physical abuse or anything just lots of mental.
Caridad...
Sometimes mental abuse is the hardest to detach yourself from. I mean physical is obvious, but when you are being torn down from the inside out, it is harder to detect. I had a vebally abusive bf (Sag) and it took me a couple months to realize what he was doing...when I did though, he was outta there!
Good Luck, hopefully you will find love in one of the twelve zodiacs!
Sometimes mental abuse is the hardest to detach yourself from. I mean physical is obvious, but when you are being torn down from the inside out, it is harder to detect. I had a vebally abusive bf (Sag) and it took me a couple months to realize what he was doing...when I did though, he was outta there!
Good Luck, hopefully you will find love in one of the twelve zodiacs!
It effects your thought patterns,confidence,courage,happy thoughts thingy,etc.Try to gain those things back and you'll be fine either single,when you do get in another relationship,whatever you choose.Sometimes just being with really good friends or family can help bring that back out and remembering how to enjoy life again.Maybe that gem can bring you out of the funk even if it don't work in the end.Thier crazy little fcukers so long as you keep a gaurd up against the non white(=harmless) lies and cheating.
Hey Caridad,
New here but I think it is not only a Pisces thing.
We all want to have it peachy when it comes to relationships but
it doesn't always work out that way. Besides, it is the spice of life to challenge
ourselves with other people and it may even bring us closer to them and ourselves.
As long as there is no abuse and mutual attraction
Sometimes people just need a break to ask themselves what they really want,
but once they know life seems to be full of potential partners or at least one or two.
Best of luck w/ that.
New here but I think it is not only a Pisces thing.
We all want to have it peachy when it comes to relationships but
it doesn't always work out that way. Besides, it is the spice of life to challenge
ourselves with other people and it may even bring us closer to them and ourselves.
As long as there is no abuse and mutual attraction
Sometimes people just need a break to ask themselves what they really want,
but once they know life seems to be full of potential partners or at least one or two.
Best of luck w/ that.
Haffo,
Met a pisces guy yesterday. Exact same birthday as me except one year earlier. He is amazingly sweet. I hope some type of relationship (even if just friendship) grows so that I can explore his male pisciean ways.
Met a pisces guy yesterday. Exact same birthday as me except one year earlier. He is amazingly sweet. I hope some type of relationship (even if just friendship) grows so that I can explore his male pisciean ways.
Great news Caridad.
Leave Your Feedback
We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.
Related Topics
Why do women don't make sexual jokes to look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826
Why do women don't make sexual jokes to make them look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826
Why do women don't make sexual jokes even just to make them look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826
Why do women don't make sexual jokes even just to make them look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826
Why do women don't make sexual jokes even just to make them look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826
Why do women don't make sexual jokes even just to make them look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826
Why do women don't make sexual jokes even just to make them look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826
Why do women don't make sexual jokes even just to make them look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826
Why do women don't make sexual jokes even just to make them look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826
Why do women don't make sexual jokes even just to make them look funny?
@haffo
Joined: Feb 15, 2005 · Topics: 354 · Posts: 9826