Age gaps

This topic was created in the Pisces forum by BJ on Monday, September 26, 2005 and has 39 replies.
OK so I go out Saturday night for a drink with two of my cousins and a one of my cousins friends. This chick is an absolute beauty and really nice girl. So after a few hours of drinking, talking and some very subtle flirting we end going home together and shagging each other brains out. The perfect Saturday night, yeah?
In the morning we layed in bed talking and getting to know each other and of course the matter of age comes up. Now dispite what my profile says, I'm 28 and I often get told I look younger (about 23,24). Anyway it turns out the girl's only 18 and is turning 19 in 3 weeks. I knew she was a bit younger but I was thinking 21, 22.
I really like the girl and it's freaking me out. Am I being silly worrying about the age gap or do I have something to worry about. Keeping in mind that in Australia you're classed as a fully fledged adult at 18 and there's nothing R Kelly about it.
The crazy part is my Dad left my mum for a 19 year old when he was 38 and there still married with three kids 17 years down the track. He didn't seem to have any issues with it and here I am 10 years younger than he was and I'm freaking out.
The funny thing is it's sort of my family's and friends judgement I'm worried about.
what you'll think??
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I know that must have been a shocker BJ! Because you just expect people to be in the 20-something age range.
It's not a problem at all if you don't think it's one. If you two are on the same wavelength, you two can talk and enjoy each other's company, honestly, who's to say it's wrong? Girls prefer older guys anyway. 10 years is fine and if you stayed together long enough, it'd get even better with time. Like when you're 30 and she's 20, or you're 35 and she's 25.
Some food for thought for now:
1) You seriously didn't notice her age? If you didn't then she's possibly really mature.
2) Despite the chemistry clouding things, can you talk to her and have dates without making out? Pay attention to how you get along outside the bedroom. See if you keep reminding yourself the age gap and if you can't let go of it, just be honest to yourself and tell yourself "this really is not going to be ok with me". see things for what they are and try to accept.
3) Just be careful with her vulnerability due to her age--she might look like she knows what she's doing, but she most likely doesn't. Don't take advantage of itTongue
In terms of family...They do have some power over these choices. Maybe don't tell them you're seeing this girl right away. And lastly, talk to her about all this. What does she think? If you two become solid, then the family will have to accept and come around. If you build a strong foundation, nothing can bother you too muchsmile
That all said, enjoy the fun! Enjoy her. It's great to meet someone you have chemistry with! It's rare. I'd say explore it.
Kafka
PS:What happened to the hot Cancer chick? Just curious.
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Thanks for you wise words Kafka, it's sort of how I'm thinking anyway but have all these other crazy thoughts. Her vulnerability is also a concern to me, while she may come across as being a mature young woman she may not have developed as fast in an emotional sense. Like you said, I think taking things slow is the key here.
Ahh the Cancer Chick, well as you know I wasn't ready to take the leap with her and I felt she was really clingy early on. So after telling her I wanted to take things a bit slower she agreed saying she didn't want to get into anything too serious either as she was going to live in London for a year or so. Anyway she goes away for a week on business and when she get's back she calls me and tells me she'd met someone and was in love. HA HA!! I was cool with it though, I really wasn't into her and I guess I was right about the clingy part. LOVE? in a week??
How's your love life anyway Kafka? Anymore canidates?
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*Candidates*
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BJ, Happy to see you got some nookie this weekend!
I think it is just a bit too early to worry about those things...I mean it makes you seem like you already know you and this girl are going to be in a relationship and you only just met! She must have REALLY put something on ya! But for you to call the Cancer chick clingy because she fell in love after a week, but then you are on here asking deep questions about a girl you only slept with once on Saturday...seems a bit like the pot calling the kettle black...just my opinion though. But on the other hand, I guess it is best to address these issues early...I guess???
It is a scientifically proven fact that women mature faster than men though, so I don't think there should be a problem as far as that...Like kafka said...most women prefer older men.
GOOD LUCK!
CL/CM2
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Well I really don't know. I sort of gave up on mr.pisces, and I'm taking everything with a grain of salt now. I'm not as obsessed, so to speak.
But there is sort of an update. I'm going to send you a private e-mail on that one, if that's oksmile
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This woman is a bit different...I am preferring younger men - truly depends what decade you are in....Ashton 27 married to Demi 42.
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CL, Chill baby chill!
I wasn't making any generalizations about Cancer chicks or anything like that. I was talking about an individual whom I dated, who I happened to find a bit full on.
Secondly, I'm not thinking as far ahead as a relationship with this girl either. I'm simply considering the idea of dating her as we like each other and want to see each other again.
And thirdly I ain't calling nothing back. I just wanted some outer opinion on the situation and I thankyou for your's.
Peace CL
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I'm with my bird pal on this one...........the older I get, the younger my men get.......:-)
Ax
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BJ
I guess the way I wrote this was misinterpreted...I wasn't saying you were generalizing all Cancer women...I said "the Cancer chick" because I have no other name by which to call her.
Secondly...I sometimes forget that you are not American, therefore do not know some of the slang terms..."The pot calling the kettle black" is a figure of speech that means you are accusing her of something you are doing...If the pot is burnt, then how can it say anything about the black kettle? You get it? It used lightly in jest though...I wasn't trying to attack you and if it seemed that way, please excuse.
Freebird and Alana...I love an older woman with a younger man...MORE POWER TO YA! It makes them a whole lot easier to train LOL
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Yep Cancerlady.......you got it in one.....us older ladies (girl-ettes!!!!)..well we are just a mixture of their fantasy whore, their earth mother, their best pal - all rolled into one experienced pretty parcel waiting to be unravelled but their sheer innocence just cant de-ravel!!!! what more can I say.....angel to a slut in the blink of an eye!!!!:-)
Ciao my good pal.
A x
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angel to a slut in the blink of an eye!!!!:-)
This is me anyway! LOL
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ha ha ha !!!! I love it this topic is fun! CL you are a riot!! How are your lil penuts?
anyhoo BJ~ I am 28 year old female dating a 20 year old male and our chemistry is off the hook and we enjoy each others company on all levels! as long as she is 18 then age is just a number have fun and enjoy your self!!! I'm a gemini "child like" he a Capricorn wise beyond his years! I think thats why we match up so well!!
good luck
GEG
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Wow...And I was worried about my 3 year age gap. I guess it can work out then?

God bless Demi and Ashton!
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28 years old female with 20 years old male? Ugh, sounds scary...
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whats scary about it haffo?
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Maybe Haffo needs an older woman!
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Female matures faster than male (psychologically). So this combination of yours sounds scary.
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CL, you skallywag!! I don't live on MARS. We have all the same old ENGLISH sayings in Australia. And our media is full of American shows and music, so it's a bit hard not to pick up your slang. Sorry if I misinterpreted what you were saying,I thought you seemed a little defensive. It can be a bit hard to tell when people are joking on these boards. Sorry....
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I've done the older women thing but it's never lasted. I've always found that we've been in different worlds as far as where we were in life. It freaks me out when people start talking marriage and babies and s#it. Not that I don't want to do these things eventually but the timing of it all.
As a younger guy I was always really attracted to older women but the tables are starting to turn. Maybe it's me wanting what I think I can't have.
I'm one messed up dude!!
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But then there's the sex with older women.... WHOA!!!!
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LOL BJ
Why I gotta be a skally wag...Damn Gina! I haven't heard that in forever!
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Younger men have so much energy and ..um.. strength. I can understand if a more mature woman would see that and admire it.
The age thing just depends on the state of minds of the people involved.
I wouldn't think that age is a big deal as long as both parties are consenting adults... or you're R. Kelly.
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"I wouldn't think that age is a big deal as long as both parties are consenting adults."
STD,
Totally agree with you...I wish I had realized this before now...
I had this huge crush on a guy much older than me...didn't
act on it b/c I felt I was too young...
Age is irrelevant...as long as you're able to connect on a mental and emotional
level.

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Age ain't nothin but a number
Throwin down ain't nothin but a thang
This something I have for you
It'll never change!
R Kelly wrote this song...we should have paid attention to the signs back then!
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lmfaooooo~ CLx2
you are sooo funny!
STD~ the energy... ohhh girl the energy!! I love it smile
BJ~ yes, sex with the older woman is mind blowing!!! lol or at least I would like to think I am.....lol Winking
the most important thing is that me and my younger man have alot in common, we have just as much fun together as we do in private we make each other laugh we have stimulating conversations we simply enjoy each others company! And what ever brings a smile to your face and makes your heart skip a beat enjoy it savor it! good luck with your girl. Winking
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R. Kelly also wrote, "Seems like you're ready..." (oh man..ewwww...)
As for young men..
Giggidy..Giggidy.. GIG-GIG Giggidy!!!!
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I forgot about that one STD!
Younger men rather get on my nerves...They are always slam bam thank you mam types and I am NOT one to teach in the bed! You need to already know what you are doing.
But I aint mad at the ladies who do!
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Im a pisces dating a cancer man who is 7 years older than me and it seems to be working out very well, I'm some what immature about certain things and he's very mature which keeps me balanced and brings me down from the clouds once in awhile.
Our age diffference I see sometimes can be a problem when he thinks I do things that are immature to him but at my age i feel are ok. Thats where we butt heads but everything else is great i like that he's older. my friends haven't said much about it my best friend is dating a man who is 14 years older so i guess love,& attraction have no age rules. Be happy and love who u want if you're right for each other, just keep it Legal people.
Later
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I can't believe i missed this thread, yeah older women cream alot,lol. And i know how to handle myself. They need some gooooood,tonue lashing,p**** poppin,mind numbing, bed collapsing sex,ohh yeaah and u must talk to them after and hugggy hug i love hugs,come ere yall.AWWWWWWWW ohhhhh CL my o my those tatas seem tuh grow on u nicely,lol.STD mm mm mm,hug me again,lol
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This guy is absolutely nuts. It's not even sexy lol.
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WHO said i'm nuts,lol. MAAAANNN u don't know tha half of it,lol.
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WHATEVER Haffo...I'm ready to move to Trinidad!
http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZSYYYYYYYYUS' target='_blank'>
Daemon...you are worse than I am!
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it!
Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gniht ym put I
Boys, boys, all type of boys
Black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese boys
You know Missy Elliot is a Cancer too!
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Yeah, that's nothin to be proud of!!
It's great that there's woman out there that can hold their head high and be proud to be such sluts.
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Whoa... who invited you to the party?
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I didn't realize I needed an invite.
Freedom of speech is what this country prides it's self on.
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Free Speech.. not slander.. as far as I know-- people get sued for slander... something else this country prides itself on.
At any rate, you're right, no one here needs an invite.... just wondering why the buzz-kill statements...why come a forum swinging at folk?
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STD...
http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZSYYYYYYYYUS' target='_blank'>
No need to say more
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Ha ha ha CL u will get spoilt if u came down here,Yeah i know Missy Elliot a cancer,i wanna know how well she gonna work it,fifty cents a cancer and so is LIL KIM. Allll freaks but look the thing all classy and MONEY MAKING freaks,shoot now i'm strayin of the point. Lemme not go on cancerbiatch case,after dat last post of ur opinion on my post,oweeeeeeeeee.lol
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