Am I being tooooooo needy?
This topic was created in the Pisces forum by tocca on Wednesday, March 18, 2009 and has 24 replies.
Ok I'm still with this taurus guy. I did back off like you guys said to do. And it worked. A little. I backed away totally. It last about 2 weeks of us not seeing each other. Then he called and said he missed me. And wanted to see me later that night. Well I went over and we talked about what went wrong. A lot of things got cleared up. He's changed a bit but he's still not emotional enough. We don't kiss unless we are having sex. He doesn't hug up on me. It may seem petty but those things are very important to me. He says I'm just freaky or kinky and that he isn't that way and I can't change him. WTF? And yesterday he let a whole day go by without callin or textin. What's up with that? Now I do things like that when I'm not really interested in that person. Is that what's going on with me? I do go to his house often, cook for him, sex is amazing ( on my part/ he's ok. I'd love him to do more but he won't) 
Am I trippen or should I just chill out. I mean, he hasn't even said if I'm his girl or not and we've been dating for about 10 mos now. I don't know what's up with him. I'm confused. Someone please give me some advice!
Am I trippen or should I just chill out. I mean, he hasn't even said if I'm his girl or not and we've been dating for about 10 mos now. I don't know what's up with him. I'm confused. Someone please give me some advice!
I'm not sure if I do GemGal. But I really do like him. I just don't know if he's really into me like I am of him. And if not, why call me back after I called it quits to say he misses me and he will do better?
He's changed a bit but he's still not emotional enough.
Could I just ask what is your definition of being "emotional enough"? What would you like him to do/say? I'm curious because what may seem 'not enough' to you may seem adequate to him.
He says I'm just freaky or kinky and that he isn't that way and I can't change him.
How on earth can hugging or cuddling be considered freaky or kinky???
sex is amazing ( on my part/ he's ok. I'd love him to do more but he won't)
This might seem a little personal but what exactly would you like him to do to you (eg techniques, oral, which part of your body do you want him to stimulate you, etc, etc)? Sometimes in the heat of the moment, we don't know what exactly we want from our partners. And then AFTER the sexual act has ended, we start to dissect & analyze and say he didn't do this/ he didn't do that. So it might help if you pen it down here. It focuses your mind on what you desire from him and that may help you to 'encourage' him to do those things to you. Taurus men are notoriously stubborn. Some gentle persuasion and soothing hints on your part may soften him up a little and be more open to your suggestions of sex techniques.
The cooking part? Hey, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.And we know Tauruses love to eat. lol!
Could I just ask what is your definition of being "emotional enough"? What would you like him to do/say? I'm curious because what may seem 'not enough' to you may seem adequate to him.
He says I'm just freaky or kinky and that he isn't that way and I can't change him.
How on earth can hugging or cuddling be considered freaky or kinky???
sex is amazing ( on my part/ he's ok. I'd love him to do more but he won't)
This might seem a little personal but what exactly would you like him to do to you (eg techniques, oral, which part of your body do you want him to stimulate you, etc, etc)? Sometimes in the heat of the moment, we don't know what exactly we want from our partners. And then AFTER the sexual act has ended, we start to dissect & analyze and say he didn't do this/ he didn't do that. So it might help if you pen it down here. It focuses your mind on what you desire from him and that may help you to 'encourage' him to do those things to you. Taurus men are notoriously stubborn. Some gentle persuasion and soothing hints on your part may soften him up a little and be more open to your suggestions of sex techniques.
The cooking part? Hey, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.And we know Tauruses love to eat. lol!
I understand what you guys are saying. I like him a lot and could fall in love if he would allow me to. But I will move on. It's too much for me. I am getting tired of trying to figure him out. I just get so confussed sometime. I don't know, it's b/c I can chill at his house whenever I please. Spend the night whenever. He purchased me a LV purse for christmas and I didn't get him anything b/c I didn't think we were on that level to get each other anything. But on Valentine's Day, all I got was some d*ck. Booooooo!!!
And he says I'm kinky b/c I want to have sex in other parts of his home. And he's rather be in the bedroom all of the time. He even once said I was trying to turn him out! lol That did make me blush a lil.
He said when he first met me he thought I was a b*tch. That I seemed to think I was better than everyone else. But then he said once he go to know me, I was really cool. Then when we started to have sex which was like 3 or 4 months later, he said I changed. I got mooshy.
Maybe he just looks at me as a fun girl. We do go out on dates and to the movies. See that's what confusses the hell out of me. He doesn't these things but he can't kiss or hug me unless we are in bed? Hell Naw!!!
But I'll let this go before it gives me a headache. You guys gave some really great points that I had never thought about myself. Thanks!
And he says I'm kinky b/c I want to have sex in other parts of his home. And he's rather be in the bedroom all of the time. He even once said I was trying to turn him out! lol That did make me blush a lil.
He said when he first met me he thought I was a b*tch. That I seemed to think I was better than everyone else. But then he said once he go to know me, I was really cool. Then when we started to have sex which was like 3 or 4 months later, he said I changed. I got mooshy.
Maybe he just looks at me as a fun girl. We do go out on dates and to the movies. See that's what confusses the hell out of me. He doesn't these things but he can't kiss or hug me unless we are in bed? Hell Naw!!!
But I'll let this go before it gives me a headache. You guys gave some really great points that I had never thought about myself. Thanks!
Well he and I had a long convo last night. To sum things up, he said he didn't think I would be where I am business wise. That I'm not focus and my business. That I spent more time on us and our status and not marketing and building my company. He's a business owner as well. So he feels I shouldn't have time to get all upset about us b/c I should be planning and whatever else to make things happen for me. IDK I'm a pisces and he is a taurus. I dream a lot and and he does a lot. I'd rather lay up on Sat mornings and he's up @ 7am fixing things that need to be fixed around the house. I guess he's saying my lack of motivation is what's keeping him at bay. I'm not sure.
He was right about some things. I do need to be more focus and get out here and make things happen.
He was right about some things. I do need to be more focus and get out here and make things happen.
Hi tocca,
Giving my Taurean's advice here:
Taurean needs their private, alone space sometimes to do their own stuff too...just like Piscean. I think you are giving him too much of your attention to him. You must not be so available like CMGS had said. You must give him some space to miss you. You life evolve too much around him...that's where it get dangerous. I experienced somewhat like this before. In the end, you will find the person being hurt is you.
Try to find some other things interesting to do in life...find some hobbies, go out with friends etc. Being in love with someone, doesn't mean you have to stop doing the things you like. I read a book which says "you have to be secure with your needs first before you can be in love". I agree with the statement. Don't ever be with someone expecting them to satisfy your needs. You be with someone because you want to be and not because you need to be.
When people are in love, they feed off each other positive emotion. You feeling this way makes me think he isn't the right person for you and you probably aren't the right person for him. Sorry about it. But there's really a lot of cool Taurean bull and other zodiac guys out there.
I don't know if it's the western culture...but I don't really think having sex so early is a good thing, especially when no commitment has established yet.
Giving my Taurean's advice here:
Taurean needs their private, alone space sometimes to do their own stuff too...just like Piscean. I think you are giving him too much of your attention to him. You must not be so available like CMGS had said. You must give him some space to miss you. You life evolve too much around him...that's where it get dangerous. I experienced somewhat like this before. In the end, you will find the person being hurt is you.
Try to find some other things interesting to do in life...find some hobbies, go out with friends etc. Being in love with someone, doesn't mean you have to stop doing the things you like. I read a book which says "you have to be secure with your needs first before you can be in love". I agree with the statement. Don't ever be with someone expecting them to satisfy your needs. You be with someone because you want to be and not because you need to be.
When people are in love, they feed off each other positive emotion. You feeling this way makes me think he isn't the right person for you and you probably aren't the right person for him. Sorry about it. But there's really a lot of cool Taurean bull and other zodiac guys out there.
I don't know if it's the western culture...but I don't really think having sex so early is a good thing, especially when no commitment has established yet.
IDK I'm a pisces and he is a taurus. I dream a lot and and he does a lot. I'd rather lay up on Sat mornings and he's up @ 7am fixing things that need to be fixed around the house. I guess he's saying my lack of motivation is what's keeping him at bay. I'm not sure.
He was right about some things. I do need to be more focus and get out here and make things happen.
If I may make a recommendation, I suggest the Fish turn into a 'Leech'.
Yes, that sounds gross, I know. But what I mean is, "leech" off his energy. Use his motivation for self-improvement & siphon off some of his business acumen....and then blend it into something uniquely Pisces. For instance, since you like to stay in bed, why not work from home? Start something artistic and then turn it into a business (ie blend Pisces creativity with Taurus business acumen). The best part, your bull will feel wanted by you when you ask him for business advice and at the same time not only are you gaining admiration from him, and not only are you endearing closer to him , you are also improving yourself professionally.
Since you mentioned that you're a Pisces & he's a Taurus, why not blend the 2? Use your Pisces creativity and make it into a business using Taurus's business sense. Start your own business but rely on him for advice. You need him & he'll be glad to be needed by you. Them Earth folks (or actually Men in general), like to be needed by the women of their affections.
I dream a lot and and he does a lot. I'd rather lay up on Sat mornings and he's up @ 7am fixing things that need to be fixed around the house. I guess he's saying my lack of motivation is what's keeping him at bay. I'm not sure.
He was right about some things. I do need to be more focus and get out here and make things happen.
-------------------------------------------------------
If you would rather lay up than 'get' up to work your business .. then I would assess that he is right .... you are a terrible business owner and would likely be nowhere without him. To get your own business established and to manage it successfully equals putting forth every ounce of energy you have into it's success ... it means constant focus, motivation and mainly a desire.
It sounds like your desires are formed moreso around feelings.
And to answer your question .. Yes .. you are needy. Just here with this, you actually need him apparantly to get you out of bed to go work your business .. otherwise, you'd lay there and only dream about it.
He was right about some things. I do need to be more focus and get out here and make things happen.
-------------------------------------------------------
If you would rather lay up than 'get' up to work your business .. then I would assess that he is right .... you are a terrible business owner and would likely be nowhere without him. To get your own business established and to manage it successfully equals putting forth every ounce of energy you have into it's success ... it means constant focus, motivation and mainly a desire.
It sounds like your desires are formed moreso around feelings.
And to answer your question .. Yes .. you are needy. Just here with this, you actually need him apparantly to get you out of bed to go work your business .. otherwise, you'd lay there and only dream about it.
Why are thinking he is going to change?
Why if after 10 months, you are now realizing that he isn't going to change, are you still going to his house to cook and fuck?
Are you a doormat?
Why if after 10 months, you are now realizing that he isn't going to change, are you still going to his house to cook and fuck?
Are you a doormat?
Posted by Starfish225
Yes I agree Gemgal you need to stop bc all the post you have put up and dumb shit you have said and done makes this lil post look like nothing..And I hope you are not trying to make any one feel bad on here about the choices that they have made, your the last one to do that..
LOL!@dumb shit...
Star tell it like it is
tocca he's telling you your being not only too needy but clingy as well, he's saying your making him the center of your universe and to a man that feels like your neglecting yourself, get out of his bed and go to your own bed, stop being his friend with benefits, he seems to have lost attraction for you b/c your not loving yourself...you have your own life to live
be independent
be independent
Posted by Archer
oh... YOu are NOT needy... actually he is not meeting any of your emotional needs and when you state them he makes you feel guilty by saying ''you are so needy''.............. what the fuck..
the desire to be kissed and hugged and to be felt desired and cherished is being NEEDY... hell no.. it is perfectly NORMAL...
grrrr.. its infuriating,, what do you do when you feel the anger?
believe it or not men that withhold affection can CREATE neediness in a woman, some women have a healthy life but if a man continues to withhold she begins to doubt herself, she begins to allow him to define who she is (your too needy, your too sensitive, your too this or that, you get mad and angry for nothing) as he's defining her reality she feels imbalanced and begins to believe him, believe she's too needy, does it mean she actually is needy well yes for him she is but he may just be using that as a covert aggressive tactic to get her out of his life without having to actually man up and say I don't want to be with you, he's passive aggressively pushing her out via confusion and withholding, his opinion doesn't mean she intrinsically is a needy person, he's just not giving her enough to sustain her which creates more neediness and clinginess in a woman. He's treating her like an FWB and unfortunately not a lot of real intimacy goes on in these type of relationships.
Anger isn't so much with the other person, the anger most likely comes from not doing what is her best interest for herself, she's invested so much time and energy, she doesn't want to walk away but she's being forced to get out due to the mans behavior....that creates deep anger and confusion in a woman
Archer your lucky you can use your anger to set boundaries, many women cannot and will not use some kind of protective measure to protect herself when a man is behaving in a way that disrespects or dishonors her. I'm not sure if Tocca gets angry in front of her Taurus, I suspect she doesn't allow him to see her anger and frustration at least not enough to were he can empathise with her.
You are gorgeous!! I would find someone who will treat you like the goddess you are.
Yeah, tocca, let go of this man. He's disrespectful to you.
Get your life back. Be successful and shine on.
You have phenomenal worth. Make it cost a man something to be with you. They value what they have to work for.
You know what you want, you have asked for it, haven't you? Yes, you have. You know what makes you happy.
You are not confused. You see things very clearly. You're stronger than you give yourself credit.
Get your life back. Be successful and shine on.
You have phenomenal worth. Make it cost a man something to be with you. They value what they have to work for.
You know what you want, you have asked for it, haven't you? Yes, you have. You know what makes you happy.
You are not confused. You see things very clearly. You're stronger than you give yourself credit.
Yeah, it's all him ... everything that happens in your life is all the other person .. you have no control over what path you take ... he's a disrespectful asshole, and you're a goddess.
Don't forget that .. no matter how many times you find yourself at this crossroads in life, which will be many.
Fuck self-awareness for growth ... just concentrate on everything being the fault of every person around you, and they are the ones fucking up and causing you grief.
Don't forget that .. no matter how many times you find yourself at this crossroads in life, which will be many.
Fuck self-awareness for growth ... just concentrate on everything being the fault of every person around you, and they are the ones fucking up and causing you grief.
I SAY AND VOTE FOR ASTROLOGY COMPATIBILITY FIND URSELF A SCORPION WHO WILL DRAWN U IN LOVE AND EMOTIONS AND PACTICAL GROUNDING OR A CANCER UR OTHER SOULMATE COMPATIBILTY IM A CANCER AND WE ARE VERY MUCH ALIKE WITH PISCEAS AND SHARE THE SAME CLOSNESS COMMITMENT. TAURUSES ARE TOO SIMPLE AND YOUNG FOR YOU.
TAUREANS LOVE IS DIFFERENT FROM UR KIND OF IDEAL LOVE.
Not trying to be rude, but it sounds you're a booty call, you feel needy and shiz becuase this dude got up in your head. I would just lay an ultimatum out, either he changes or you're gone.
Update: I was moving and unable to get to a computer. But I'm back and I got a chance to read you guy's comments and advice. Well I'd been thinking about moving about 3hrs away. I had spoken to him about it and he gave me his advice which was I can make things happen no matter where I am. Here or there. That I just need to get on my grind. Him really tellin me how he veiwed me me notice I was a slacker and that I really needed to get my ish together. And to be honest about two days later I visited my bestfriend and got an apartment a few blocks away from her house which is 3hrs away from where I was.( yeah, I'm that kind of pisces. I do a loooot of things off of impulse) When I called and told him, he didn't say anything. But when I came back about a week later to pack my things, he calls me to come over. But I decline b/c I'm tired and I had a lot to do. Which I think bothered him b/c I never turn down an offer to comeover. So I go the next day. I walk in sit down and take off my hills. He's like, " Damn, I can't get a hug?" I wanted to laugh so bad but I didn't. So I said, "sure!" And gave him one. So while I'm chating with him about my visit and how small my apt is, his phone rings. He's talking and then says, "No, it's just me and my girlfriend." Then he looks at me to see my reaction. My face didn't move. I act as if I didn't hear him. Then he asked if I wanted to go to one of his friend's for a BBQ. I said, "Sure." Now the whole while I'm thinking now you want to call me your girlfriend after I moved. Whatever. I wasn't touched. Although it did make me giggle. lol Now I think he's feeling a lil unsure of himself b/c I didn't respond like he thought I would. IDK, I think he forced me to not take us sooo serious when that's not what I really want. I don't want to be married. I've been there done that. Didn't work out and he was a pisces as well. But with this guy, all I wanted was to be called girlfriend. That's all. But now it's too late. It's going to go down the drain. He's always busy and I know I will be b/c I don't know anyone there but my bf and she's busy. So I'll have no other choice but to stay focus. Sounds good to me! Oh well.
@ GemGal Don't give advice if you are a horrible example.
you are right LR. I don't think about things too long. Sometimes it's good, other times I get into trouble. But hey, that's what makes me who I am.
that's a great ? LR......What do I want from him? Nothing now. Before, to be honest, to have my way. B/c I don't want a husband. I didn't want to live together, I just wanted him to call me him Gf. And I feel like he was questioning the same thing. But I being honest with myself. He and I are not on the same page. I'm like Oprah, I just want a Stedmen. Let's be BF and Gf for life. lol
yeah, I get what you're saying. That's why I'm lettin it alllll go.
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