Anyone a Pisces with a venus is Pisces?

This topic was created in the Pisces forum by Hiei on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 and has 21 replies.
Hey guys I was just wondering how you guys deal with breakups? I haven't been in many serious relationships in my life, so I am just wondering how you deal. If I finally realize that its not going to work out I can usually feel a little sad, but am able to detach from my emotions. The thing is I just seem to try to work things out "for the power of love", and appear to be setting myself up for more heartbreak. I always think in the back of my mind that it will be good again if I just keep trying. This is very taxing on me because the other party is usually not willing. My relationships are few and far between because it does take me awhile to get over someone and finally search for something new. When I talk to my friends they always seem to shake their heads at me when I talk about this apparent grandiose love, and I feel naive about it. Is it all dream? Are relationships just supposed to be a comfort of practicality and mutual respect? Is buying a house, raising a family, and helping each other in business goals the true reason to be in a relationship?
Thank you for your thoughts =)
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"Are relationships just supposed to be a comfort of practicality and mutual respect? Is buying a house, raising a family, and helping each other in business goals the true reason to be in a relationship?
Thank you for your thoughts =)"
I'd hope not. Im not looking for a partner for the specific deal. Thats not what I think of when I think about love and a relationship. Its more of just a complement to the life I already have or will give myself.
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Thanks bijou and M. I feel the same way of longing to just share the "moment." The reason I asked was because my friends are like just move on or forget about it because you guys weren't right for each other. I feel sad and want someone to understand not just tell me what to do. I know what to do to move on, but the longing in the heart is still there for something more. To hold on just a little bit longer, and to resolve the problems to make it work. Its just that I wouldn't even consider a relationship or get into one if love was not there. I have never have just got into a relationship to see how it would work out, I was lonely, or needed a place to stay, but I see it ofter in the people around me. Thanks I just wanted to know if I was still naive about how the world "really" works, but I will continue to be me. (The one they never forget =P)
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Wow bijou its funny how you can formulate my thoughts into words. Yeah I feel you on the limbo part because I hate that. When I feel they are there still it bothers me because I don't really know if it is just me thinking that way. For all I know they could be running around with other people and moved on. The waiting for your feelings to die down or waiting for them to leave is the killer part.
Why is it we trust in love when emotions are so fickle from day to day. Right now I am indifferent to calling my ex because she placed me in limbo, but I still feel a longing for her to be with me. It's so much easier when I'm single because these thoughts never even enter my head.
P.S. I hope your ok. I know how you feel, and don't put up with being treated unfairly even for love.
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My fiance is a sun and venus pisces and he said that he just says "screw it! and move on! and you cant think about it too much thats all. he sais that you are right about detatching your emotions and you just wont feel anything.Relationships are what you make it."
Personally from my experience of being with him and breaking up and getting back together.. he does not want to let go completely. he never has let go of me for too long. i know that he has had a few gfs in the past that didnt last long and he does seem to not be able to get over sum1 very quickly but i respect that as long as he deals with it in his head and not his pants lol.
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Yeah that is the problem. I also say fuck this and move on, but the longing is still there when I truly had a deep connection. I am able to detach feelings, so I'm not crying over the loss or getting fucked up to feel better. It is just a longing for the connection the bijou mentioned that I have trouble putting into words. The sense that even though they are not beside me physically, they are somehow around me. It's pretty eerie if you think about it because it not always an emotional feeling even though I am a pisces.
I've also had girlfriends in the past that I have gotten over quickly, but the "feeling" wasn't there, so it was easy to just pack up the feelings and go.
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"this apparent grandiose love, and I feel naive about it. Is it all dream?"

Yeah, it's all a dream .. that's why you can never find it, eventhough you continue to search within other people for it. You, like all Pisces people, have already envisioned within your fantasy what, and how your true love will be .. then, when we hook up with a person to whom we have a connection of "love", we then attempt to wrap our vision of love around the other person in hopes that they can fufill this.
But, they can't ... nobody can.
The reason why you can detach from the emotions is because it wasn't really real .. it's like waking up.
Perhaps, having Venus in Pisces makes it harder for you to sweep the cobwebs out of your mind, and the dream continues to linger for a while. However, I'm a Pisces with Venus in Aries ... so, once I disconnect from a dream about a person, or situation .... the wall of Ice, Ram- style , goes up and fantasy no longer exists for that person.
However, new dreams about new people that I meet are immediately manufactured .... and so, love continues to exist over the rainbow in my heart.
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Hiei .. the fish swims in opposite directions, and this pertains to many things within us, however, all of them are referencing the Fish swimming in different streams of water.
We are either swimming upstream .. or downstream .. NEVER in a lake of even and balanced waters.
We hate/love, care/care not, feel compassion/indifference, think/feel, sweet/mean, reality/fantasy ... no inbetween. We are either swimming upstream or down.

With love, because it is within a fantasy of how we need to be loved to fufill us ... we are swimming upstream .. happy, dilerious, peaceful, giving, caring .. because in our dream, our partner is perfect just the way we manufactured them. When we are partnered with a person or even in love with them ... we start swimming downstream, because our dreams are now being disillusioned .. this other person CANNOT live up to how we percieved them to be within the fantasy.
In love ... we are fighting against the current, fighting against the natural flow of our waters .. because it's all make believe.
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A Pisces is never really connected in the first place, not completely .. not to the point of where there has to be a decision to dis-connect. That doesn't mean we can't love because we can .. but, we are never really attached to this love in the first place, for it to be any kind of struggle.
We are either one way, or the other ...
We can cry over the death of a parent, or shed no tears at all ... and either expression isn't a representative of how we felt about this parent. We can watch others weeping hysterically at the funeral, and have absolutely NO reaction or feelings for their tears of pain ... then turn around a weep ourselves that have nothing to do with other peoples pain .. or never have any reaction at all ... and none of the expressed feelings have anything to do with how we felt about this parent who passed away .. because our feelings are never really connected on any kind of mental level.
We cannot "think" what is felt .. we cannot look at another person in pain, even if we caused the pain ourselves, and have any attachment to it on a mental level, we can be totally indifferent mentally, no reaction at all for any kind of pain .... or, we can get out of our heads and go to the other side of dual reality, and ONLY feel, without any thought associated .. meaning, we aren't thinking about what we feel, or what others feel, about reactions, about any kind of expression .. we aren't "thinking" at all.
Either think or feel at a given time ... not both together. We can certainly "see" with our minds-eye the gray area, and how both planes exist within reality, such as I'm stating .. we are aware of these two realities within us .. but, they aren't connected to each other. We are either swimming one, or the other .. and we can even simultaneously shift back and forth from feeling to thinking ... but, not at the same time.
This person who started this thread can acknowledge the echo of lingering pain, while still realizing that he is dis-connected.
A Pisces person can love with all their heart, all the way down to the core of their being .. and there will still be a dis-connection between thinking love, and feeling love .. because in fantasy, where our love exists has no thoughts associated, it's purely feeling.
It's not easy to understand .. it's like living in a dream. Imagine a really, really vivid dream, in which you could have almost sworn you were really living it .. it seemed so real .. that is existence to us.
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It's kind of like .. and I know other Pisceans can relate to this ..

You're driving to work, and you know you have to have a talk with your boss about something, and so you're running through your mind all the key points you are going to make to get to relate to where you are coming from. You're "thinking" about all the aspects of the situation in which to use as reference to have this talk to the boss.
Whereas the Fish is driving down the road, running a vision through his head as to how it's going to play out .. like a movie. There's no thoughts that are put in logical order to make the point valid ... only a scenerio playing out .. a dream of how it's going to work.
Then when this actually happens and the boss says something that isn't in the vision of how this would play out ... the Pisces is left sitting there, stumbling over their tongues, looking like an incompetant moran.
Situation in which I could clearly see happening to a Pisces:
Boss says, "hey let's do lunch, I'm buying, where do you want to go" .. a few seconds lapse and Pisces answers, "the red tableclothes".
WTF was that the boss is thinking ... yeah, the restuarant that has the pretty red tableclothes, when eating on their table, it felt so good, brought the Pisces to a good place .. when Boss asked about lunch, the Pisces then went into a vision of eating, of actually dining with the red tableclothes .. using absolutely no "thoughts" of where they wanted to go according to location, taste for a certain food, cost, time constraints.
A Pisces is easy to pick out of a crowd ... look for the person who has a starry look in their eyes, and then will shake their head the moment before answering your question ... that is the person who had to envision, within a dream, to play out what you just said to them before they could answer you.
Love is the same way .. it's a dream. A Fish will sit for hours on end doing nothing except dreaming about love, and how the movie is running on our head ... then once partnered, our lover will say something to us, and we'll answer ... red tableclothes.
wtf?
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The other one is hidden because of connection problems =/
Wow thanks guys for the incredible insight. I was hoping you would reply to this thread P because you always provide thorough explanations. Bijou also has put into my words the feelings I feel. I agree with both of you guys because my sun and venus is in Pisces.
I believe that we as Pisces do form a fantasy about how life in all its aspects is supposed to be. In my dream, raised on Disney films, I believe in happily ever after. I guess in those movies the conflicts are always before getting together and after it will be all nice. My problem is dealing with the problems that arise while in the relationship. I guess this deals with the upstream/downstream battle that we fight everyday. I try to fight the current and go upstream, but it is exhausting; especially when the connection was there. Even when I want to leave I can't because they are still there. They tug at my heart telling me not to leave or vice versa I can't tell. I can detach from the emotion, but not the connection. When I know they want to go, but feelings do not linger then I am gone easy. It just bothers me that if this connection that I feel is also part of the downstream/upstream paradox of being pisces. The connection was real and I believe that, but is the loss of the connection just a shattering of the dream?
Being hot/cold is also part of my character. I can be empathetic when my friends are sad, but will do it with a cold stare. When my ex broke up with me she was crying, but I just looked at her. I didn't believe her I wasn't there. She told me later that she didn't think I cared, but I did and I do. I just looked at her. Just detach and think rationally in one situation, then totally be flooded by emotion in another situation with no rational thought being relayed even when I have thought about it rationally just a day before. The love I have for someone does not seem to be in this plane of reality. I love them for how they care for my soul. The feeling of connection and understanding is what I need I guess.
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I also relate to playing the scenario in my head how it is going to plan out, and being tongue tied when it doesn't play out the way in my head. Like when my ex asked me why I needed her? I couldn't reply anything at all. I just knew I needed her, but couldn't tell her why. It isn't something tangible, just something I need. When I drive somewhere I don't even remember how I got there because some scenario is playing out in my head.
Feeling but not feeling. Attached but not attached. Connected though.
Sorry if this seems like rambling, but my head is fried =).
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"When I talk to my friends they always seem to shake their heads at me when I talk about this apparent grandiose love, and I feel naive about it. Is it all dream? Are relationships just supposed to be a comfort of practicality and mutual respect? Is buying a house, raising a family, and helping each other in business goals the true reason to be in a relationship?"

Hiei .. here is how I put this Pisces condition into perspective.
This grandoise love that you seek (all Fish), in which causes your friends to shake their head at you and make you feel naive isn't within the reality of a relationship for non-Pisceans, because they ONLY have an ego reality. To them, a relationship IS about certainties, goals, setting life up to be about commitments to honor .. so they will have something to look back on and be proud of their accomplishments, to relish in having a pat on their back .. "Look, see what I did, look what I have." And it's within this fixed mind-set, that non-Pisceans use to measure thier trueness to themselves, to measure their worth to the world and themselves, to be valuable to an outside force. To be proud of accomplishments, to succeed and have victory in obtaining their goals is only for the approval of others to pat them on the back for it.
Think about that ... if you accomplished something tangible .. does it really mean anything if nobody notices, or says, "Good job"?
Non-Pisceans are approval seekers from sources outside of themselves BECAUSE they can only live outside of themselves, for they are completely connected with their outer reality and have no awareness that it's the ego consciousness that drives them to seek superficial rewards.
So, though, we do have our dreams in which we go through life that guides us through trying to acutalize these visions, which appears quite odd to other people .. it also makes us more aware of reality.
A paradox .. other people think we aren't in-tune with reality because of our dream world .. which in reality, it makes us experts at acknowledging what is really real because we experience both sides seperately to be able to make the distinction. In reality, the other people are the ones who are reality handi-capped because they can ONLY acknowledge that there is ONE reality = ego consciousness.
The soul has one too, seperate from ego .... and this is where we go when we dream .. we are able to tap completely into our souls desire.
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I have never been in a relationship in which I hated the other person, so I wouldn't know about that type of situation. In light relationships I am usually the one to leave and in serious relationships I am usually left. If I do feel strongly about the connection I will continue to work at it. It is usually the other one that leaves because I was too immature to handle a serious relationship. I have to say though that my earliest relationships were always light because I never found that connection. Only lately as I have matured have I been seeking a long and meaningful one. Maybe it's karma.
The ego thing I totally agree with. "If no one knows than it never happened." I have friends all the time "teaching" me how to play the game and manipulate others for my benefit, but this is not in my character. I want people to love me for me and not because I can do things for them. People seem to agree with me in my train of thought, but tell me that I have to manipulate because that is how the world really works. Is it so wrong to be true to your heart?
Letting go of someone is also the hardest thing for me to deal with because it means I was wrong again about how it is for true love. I never treat people as objects though except my significant other. They are mine and I am their's. Not to control but to love.
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as a man and woman.
I hope I don't romanticize my thoughts to much.
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I wasn't talking about dxp, but my guy friends. My female friends say screw her she'll come running back for a great guy like you.
I to grow tired of people teaching me how to manipulate people as I grow older. I might have done this when I was younger, but have been trying to become emotionally more mature. I just tell them how I feel and put the ball in their court. "Don't put all your cards on the table," is what I hear. It is just frustrating knowing that almost everyone I meet is like this. They are all too jaded for me. Too bad most people are like that, or this place would be a better place with more love.
Ok time to go back to Never Neverland. (Lost Boys rolling out =))
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Cool my plan worked lets shag up now. lol =)
Nice to know I'm not alone
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yeah baby yeah. Lets jump in my shaguar, and you can Fook Mei and I can Fook Yu.
We would have awesome vacations together they would be epic. You can be the girl I pick up at the craps table Winking.
Man if we ever connected and hated each other that would be hell lol.
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But seriously what about memorial day?
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Hey guys I was just wondering how you guys deal with breakups
i am a pisces sun and a pisces venus (as well as a pisces moon AND mars)...lol if you are talking about the actual 'breaking up process'...then breakups...are usually...very irrational, quite ugly...and mutually destructive...seeing as how 'feelings reign supreme'...and 'breaking up is hard to do'...it's an all-consuming, all-devouring...total disregard for the feelings of another human being...the soul-crushing surge of uncontrollable chaos is based on emotions, rather than logical thought...
picture two individuals as separate pieces of cloth...as time goes by, they gradually stitch themselves together...and eventually creating one greater 'cloth'...should things turn sour...and a breakup occurs...visualize two human hands ripping apart at the very seems...the sewn pieces of material..and you have a vague image of what a breakup is like to a venus in pisces (although, on the surface...as this occurs, they may not even seem bothered)...
-jack
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I have both in pisces and can totally relate to sticking it out until the other person vertually makes it impossible for me to keep trying. Ive only learnt to recently to take more time before letting some one sweep me off my feet. I trust too easily and often endup with guys who are just taking advantage of my staying power.
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