Bf spat on my face

Posted by DickButt
I expecting a kinky thread. #2017NoMoreHighExpectations

y met him twice in these two months.I don't know man, just thinking if people can have a change of heart?

Posted by bumboklatt

Posted by seraph
32 strikes and he's out.

Just one more chance k?

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Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by SattyAries
What is your say on his behaviour?

I want you to sit down. Take some deep breaths.And slowly clear your head a bit. Stop thinking of your feelings for him. Think about something else something pleasant. It could be anything.

Then after a while without getting too emotional. Think about those scenes play them back in your head. But only those no other parts of the relationship. How do they make you feel? You can't cope with this.

You won't survive. You will break down.

Don't listen to the voice in your head diminutizing this.

You will slowly come around to the fact that you are a victim of partner abuse. And it's still upsetting you now. And why shouldn't it?

Whether or not he will do it again, is not the only reason to leave someone. Your dealing with the hurt and trauma. Your soul is finding it hard to heal and is unhappy. A part of you is regretting staying with an energy like his ..because it remembers the way it felt ..when he did that. And him being around you makes you feel this.

I don't know if he will do it again. But i can tell you know ..you'll not get over what he did. He won't be the same to you.

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Posted by starwars
you sure you aren't the pisces and he isn't the aries cuz it sound like it

Posted by SattyAries
Alright he did make passionate love to me after the spit but yo it was supposed to be a fight and he was making love like? I didn't get the soitting part tbh!

Posted by DickButt
I expecting a kinky thread. #2017NoMoreHighExpectations

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cap moon.. I can get more earthy and less firey at times. But it's not hard to leave him after his disrespect so I'm wondering how to breakup after 4 months telling him Hey I just thought of that day and I can't be with you anymore cuz it doesn't make me feel good about myself. ?

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by DivaCanLeo

Posted by starwars
you sure you aren't the pisces and he isn't the aries cuz it sound like it

Right

She is Aries ? Hard to believe!?

I don't think you will feel happy or the way you used to feel about yourself around him. You'll realize.

He might not do it again. They usually do though. It doesn't sound like he has accepted responsibility it sounds like you have taken responsibility for his actions as if you made him do that.

I think you should leave him. But do what I say in my first post.

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Posted by starwars
you sure you aren't the pisces and he isn't the aries cuz it sound like it

Posted by DickButt
I expecting a kinky thread. #2017NoMoreHighExpectations

Posted by DivaCanLeo

Posted by Vageenka
My Pisces cousin treats his wife the same. My Pisces grandfather was also very physically abusive.

But those are the only two Pisces men I know in my life so.... Can't say this is a "thing" with them.

But if someone touches me it'll be ww3

He slaps I slap

Why am I so masculine

?????

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Posted by d0s3r
the constant apologising is manipulation. leave him

Posted by DickButt

Posted by starwars

Posted by Ram416

Posted by starwars
you sure you aren't the pisces and he isn't the aries cuz it sound like it

One failing of Aries is to see the good in people even though they treat us or others around like crap.

Still sound like an Aries to you?

I was joking based on the signs stereotypes. I don't see Rams that way (abusive-angry) to me they're more like innocent childish people who are somehow naïve and impulsive

comere

She just called you childish ram. YOU GONNA TAKE THAT?!

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Posted by DickButt

Posted by Ram416

Posted by DickButt

Posted by starwars

Posted by Ram416

Posted by starwars
you sure you aren't the pisces and he isn't the aries cuz it sound like it

One failing of Aries is to see the good in people even though they treat us or others around like crap.

Still sound like an Aries to you?

I was joking based on the signs stereotypes. I don't see Rams that way (abusive-angry) to me they're more like innocent childish people who are somehow naïve and impulsive

comere

She just called you childish ram. YOU GONNA TAKE THAT?!

LMAO...goddamn instigating Libra.

I'm too lazy to fight Virgos. I'd have the problem of cleaning mud off my hooves after I'm done.

It's ok, they usually fight themselves. "Did i make a list this morning? Ok good. How about my list doe it have sub-lists?! NO?! #AbortLife"

And how did you know i was a libra today? Also Starwars that bold up there.....them fighting words

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Posted by wagtail
A guy could just look at me the wrong way, and I'd leave...

Posted by starwars
I'd seriously like to understand why the women stick around so frustrating

Posted by DivaCanLeo

Posted by Vageenka
My Pisces cousin treats his wife the same. My Pisces grandfather was also very physically abusive.

But those are the only two Pisces men I know in my life so.... Can't say this is a "thing" with them.

But if someone touches me it'll be ww3

He slaps I slap

Why am I so masculine



?????

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Posted by SattyAries

I did say things to hurt him to spit on my face.

We'd immaturely bring up eachother's past in arguments

I pushed him.

What is your say on his behaviour?

Posted by starwars
what are you waiting for? he obviously has issues, you don't even love him why are you sticking around?

ough you sound pretty harsh but I read your your with a very open mind and you're right. I did say something I shouldn't have & I have apologiesd keeping his reaction and behaviour on a side. I have changed too in this time I had to myself. That's the reason why I needed an insight from either someone who's been through something similar or someone wiser who can tell me the best way out of it? Isn't that why we're all ? To help one another?

I took his apology because I did feel if I hadn't pushed him he might never do such a disgusting thing to a girl.right? Maybe I'm not good for him and that's the other reason why I feel I should breakup before we ruin eachother as people.

But I don't understand how to approach this matter. How do I say after 3 months of that incident that Hey I don't feel right about us anymore and I think we need a break? Right now everything is going perfect. It's all in my head.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by SattyAries

I did say things to hurt him to spit on my face.

We'd immaturely bring up eachother's past in arguments

I pushed him.

What is your say on his behaviour?

Not only is it ridiculous for you to ask people to comment on his behavior ... it is more ridiculous that you'd embellish this in order to get certain responses for validation ...... because he isn't here to speak on his behalf, and your perception is jaded.

The reality here is that your words are equivalent to talking out of your ass .... since you've only spoke on particular incidents, while attempting to portray his character in its entirety.


But, you are here to speak for yourself, so only YOU can be addressed on your behavior.


For all of those people who have commented or asked why would she still be there .... the answer is quite clear if you comprehend what you are reading. You would find the above in the OP ....

she taunts him, pushes him, and participates in immaturely arguing with him .. she even said that she did do something to cause a spit in the face.

People get what they earn because that is what they deserve through this earning. If you are going to push another person around .. then you should expect to be spit on.


that's how it works. And she clearly stated in here that she realizes that her actions cause him to react to her this way.


It boggles my mind how easily people in here are manipulated into attacking the character of a person who isn't even here to defend himself.

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Posted by SattyAries

Isn't that why we're all ? To help one another?

Posted by starwars

Posted by Ssuperman

Posted by starwars
what are you waiting for? he obviously has issues, you don't even love him why are you sticking around?

They both have issues. She likes pushing men to their limits. She admitted it. She said she said things to "deserve" it. Nobody should get physical with any woman. She likes it though.

well abusers are known to blame the victim. violence can't justified. but i do think its her fault she's sticking around.

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Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by starwars
I'd seriously like to understand why the women stick around so frustrating

Fucking stupidly desperate. God forbid they start over with someone else. Them feels have been invested and leaving now, gasp.

It's easy to get sucked in, but with this physical abuse shit, it makes it really hard to understand or even feel empathy for chicks who stick around when the signs start to show.

You will not shrivel up and die without a dick in your hands, ladies. Get some damned integrity, fix your shit ass self esteem, and move on.

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Posted by starwars

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by starwars
I'd seriously like to understand why the women stick around so frustrating

Fucking stupidly desperate. God forbid they start over with someone else. Them feels have been invested and leaving now, gasp.

It's easy to get sucked in, but with this physical abuse shit, it makes it really hard to understand or even feel empathy for chicks who stick around when the signs start to show.

You will not shrivel up and die without a dick in your hands, ladies. Get some damned integrity, fix your shit ass self esteem, and move on.

It’s not about desperation. The main reason people stick around in abusive relationships is because of fear and dependence. Once the victim is cut from his/her support team the abused becomes dependent on the abusive partner.

What many people fail to realize is that the most dangerous part of an abusive relationship is not the abuse itself, it is escaping it. Leaving no longer becomes a choice, it becomes an act of survival. How often will you hear on the news that an ex husband/wife was killed by their ex partner? Evidence will point out past cases of domestic abuse records. It is unfortunately, common.

this make sense too, but what about the ones whos partners tell them to leave but they stick around regardless? why can't they leave before shit get too deep? is it too hard to recognize abusive behavior?

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Posted by PVandJelly

Posted by d0s3r

Posted by WonderWoman14

I don't believe any of it is true. Usually when people make threads like this and then barely post or disappear half way through on a topic this serious, they're full of it. What's more, I think she is enjoying it if it is true. She talks about the passionate love making afterwards. This shit is romantic for her.

I'm new to this so excuse my ignorance but really?! Why would you do that. I do find it odd that there's been no response. Talk about wasting peoples time.

Yes you could be right, passionate love making would be the last thing on my mind if a guy treated me that way!

you know... OP made a thread 10 months ago about a libra guy she was with.

but she was with the pisces for 8 months + 4 months later

-___-

Exactly

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Posted by PVandJelly

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by PVandJelly

Posted by d0s3r

Posted by WonderWoman14

I don't believe any of it is true. Usually when people make threads like this and then barely post or disappear half way through on a topic this serious, they're full of it. What's more, I think she is enjoying it if it is true. She talks about the passionate love making afterwards. This shit is romantic for her.

I'm new to this so excuse my ignorance but really?! Why would you do that. I do find it odd that there's been no response. Talk about wasting peoples time.

Yes you could be right, passionate love making would be the last thing on my mind if a guy treated me that way!

you know... OP made a thread 10 months ago about a libra guy she was with.

but she was with the pisces for 8 months + 4 months later

-___-

Exactly

It's possible she cheated?

Possibly. But I've been here so long I'm jaded. Smells like a troll to me.

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Posted by PVandJelly
@WonderWoman14

People get off on starting these type of topics to get people talking shit about a particular sign they dislike for chuckles.

Posted by shakedown
It would be interesting to see their synastry chart. It is very possible that they both like the drama and "heat." There are people out there that do get off on that sort of stuff. For them, it enhances the sex and makes the relationship (to them) super passionate and exhilarating. After all, she does have a lot of fire. Maybe she needs or likes that sort of thing to keep her inner fire going.


Definitely no judgment here, just being nosy and speculating.

Posted by shakedown

Posted by WonderWoman14

Posted by shakedown
It would be interesting to see their synastry chart. It is very possible that they both like the drama and "heat." There are people out there that do get off on that sort of stuff. For them, it enhances the sex and makes the relationship (to them) super passionate and exhilarating. After all, she does have a lot of fire. Maybe she needs or likes that sort of thing to keep her inner fire going.


Definitely no judgment here, just being nosy and speculating.

"The war of the roses" film springs to mind

That is a good reference!!

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Posted by starwars

Posted by Ssuperman

Posted by starwars

Posted by Ssuperman

Posted by starwars
what are you waiting for? he obviously has issues, you don't even love him why are you sticking around?

They both have issues. She likes pushing men to their limits. She admitted it. She said she said things to "deserve" it. Nobody should get physical with any woman. She likes it though.

well abusers are known to blame the victim. violence can't justified. but i do think its her fault she's sticking around.

Nobody deserves to be abused. But I'm looking at what she's saying. She's scared he's gonna hit her, and she should be. However, she's saying (from what I see) that she's pushing him to that point. Poking the bear if you will.

true but I also think she just wanna convience herself its partly her fault so she have a reason to stick around

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Posted by NatashaNat
"Stage I: Breaking Down the Self

Step 1: Assault on Identity

When somebody is trying to control another, they begin to attack their sense of self, their identity. They start to say things that cause the victim to doubt who they are.

“You are a slut.”

“You’re worthless.”

“You are not a good mom.”

“You are ugly, nobody will want you.”

The attacks are repeated consistently for days, weeks and sometimes years. As a result, the victim becomes disoriented, confused, and begins to doubt everything they believed to be true. Eventually the victim will begin to adopt these same beliefs.

The idea of brainwashing is to destroy the old identity and replace it with a new one, one that matches with the beliefs, values and ideas of the manipulator. The effects of an attack on the identity can last long after the victim is no longer in the abusive situation.

Step 2: Establishment of Guilt

Guilt is an effective tactic in mind control and is introduced in different ways. The abuser criticizes the victim for any reason, small or large, and sometimes no reason at all.

“This is your fault.”

“You made me do this.”

The abuser will take a small flaw and embellish it to the extreme. Abusers will shift responsibility for their actions to the victim or justify their behavior by blaming the victim.

“If you wouldn’t have talked back, I wouldn’t have had to hit you.”

An abuser will make the victim feel guilty for disagreeing with them or not meeting extremely high expectations.

An abuser may blame the victim for the abuser’s transgressions by making the victim believe they deserved it, or are a result of something the victim did. After the assault on identity, the constant criticisms cause the victim to believe the punishment and mistreatment are warranted.

Guilt can easily turn into shame when it is internalized. Inducing guilt, humiliation and shame destroy confidence and self worth. A victim begins to feel culpable all the time and everything they do or say is wrong. When shame sets in, the victim no longer feels bad about things they’ve done, they begin to feel they are bad.

Step 3: Self-Betrayal

Once a victim is overwhelmed with guilt and shame, they begin to abandon their own needs and make choices that are harmful to their well-being. The victim is bullied into cutting off communication from friends and family who share the same beliefs or behaviors. This is when isolation begins: The abuser believes the victim’s friends and family are a threat to the relationship. The abuser will blame friends or family for problems in the relationship. The victim’s betrayal of their own beliefs and the betrayal of the people to whom they once felt a sense of loyalty increases the feelings of shame and guilt, which further destroys their sense of self. As a result, the more isolated a victim becomes, the more dependent they are on the abuser.

Step 4: Breaking Point

At this point, the victim no longer recognizes themselves, they don’t know who they are any longer. They may have lost their grip with reality. Gaslighting techniques are used to push the victim over the edge. Gaslighting is an attempt by one person to overwrite another’s reality.

“You’re crazy—that never happened.”

“You’re making that up, it’s all in you head.”

“You’re paranoid.”

The victim is confused and disoriented from gaslighting and from being fed a distorted version of reality. The victim questions themselves constantly and feels like “the crazy one” and/or feels depressed, anxious, traumatized and other negative emotional and physical symptoms like insomnia and paranoia.

Some may call this a “nervous breakdown.” A nervous breakdown is the point of exhaustion reached after an extended period of extreme anxiety. The overwhelming anxiety, depression and stress lead to a sense of hopelessness, helplessness and absolute exhaustion. The victim’s ability to think and reason at this stage is severely compromised and they become temporarily unable to function normally in day-to-day life.

Stage II: Possibility of Salvation

Step 5: Leniency & Opportunity

Just when a victim can literally take no more, the abuser offers leniency. This is when the abuser offers a small act of kindness amid the psychological abuse and the victim feels a deep sense of gratitude completely out of proportion to the deed.

Because the victim’s perception is so skewed, the small act shifts emotions to relief and a sense of admiration. Since these small acts of kindness are so infrequent, the kind gesture is magnified. It can be something as small as offering a glass of water, a hug or a compliment. This can lead to a sense of false hope. It puts the responsibility on the victim to do things better, to try harder, in hopes the acts of kindness will become more frequent.

These unpredictable responses are detrimental to mental well-being, confidence and self-esteem. The abuser can have an extreme reaction one day, and then the next day have the complete opposite reaction. This unpredictability can cause a great deal of stress and anxiety.

Step 6: Compulsion to Confess

The victim is so grateful for the small gesture between abuse and manipulation, they begin to agree with the criticisms. For the first time in the brainwashing process, the victim is faced with the stark contrast between the harsh criticism and abuse, and the relief of leniency.

This is when the victim looks within and tries to find those “evil” parts of themselves and attempts to remove them from every part of their being. This leads directly to their “new” identity. The victim begins to acquire the beliefs and values the abuser has ingrained. At this point, the victim is willing to say anything to recreate those moments of leniency.

Step 7: The Channeling of Guilt

The victim does not know what they have done wrong, they just know they are wrong. They begin to feel guilty for who they are and about the beliefs they’ve held. This creates a blank slate so the abuser can attach the guilt to whatever belief system the abuser is trying to replace. The victim comes to believe it is their belief system that is causing all of the problems; the more they accept the abuser’s way of thinking, the more shame they feel about who they were. Essentially, this is when the victim begins to adopt the new way of thinking and relinquishes their old way of thinking.

Step 8: Releasing of Guilt, Logical Dishonoring

By this stage, the victim has come to believe that they themselves are not bad, but the belief systems they held are wrong, and they can escape that wrongness by completely changing their belief systems. They denounce their former belief system and the people they associated with. They confess to acts associated with their former belief systems. After a full confession, they complete the process of rejecting their former identity. Now, the abuser offers up the new identity.

These tactics are very similar to those used on prisoners of war or members of a cult. In a domestic abuse situation, the brainwashing process becomes a cycle and the steps continue to be repeated. The moment an abuser begins to feel the victim is “slipping from their control,” they will re-assault their identity. This will begin the process all over again. Victims continue to believe in the ideas of their abusers long after they have left the abusive environment. The new belief system has been so deeply rooted, it could take years to change.

There is hope. Abuse thrives only in silence. If you are healing from an abusive relationship, know the most important thing to do is forgive yourself. If you find yourself in this situation, please seek support. An extremely effective way to get out of the darkness of guilt and shame is by shining a light on it. Start talking about it, don’t keep the feelings inside. Shame can only survive in darkness."

Posted by shakedown
It would be interesting to see their synastry chart. It is very possible that they both like the drama and "heat." There are people out there that do get off on that sort of stuff. For them, it enhances the sex and makes the relationship (to them) super passionate and exhilarating. After all, she does have a lot of fire. Maybe she needs or likes that sort of thing to keep her inner fire going.


Definitely no judgment here, just being nosy and speculating.

ch wiser than the rest.

Posted by d0s3r

Posted by P-Angel

By your own admission .. you provoke him.

Then to turn around and cry victim.


Look, there are even people in here talking to you like you're a victim ....



A victim is someone who has no control over the circumstance ... but, here you are pretending to be a victim, nonetheless ..... you should feel ashamed of yourself and perhaps you will when you grow up and think back on this nonsense you're projecting.

i normally love your blunt responses, but here, no.

saying negative things does not merit spit, or any kind of physical abuse.

you shouldn't need to be on guard in a relationship out of fear that you'll trigger the other into hurting you.

we also don't know if the aries was provoked into saying the negative things.

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Posted by MiZLeo
I just found out a couple weeks ago that a pisces man I was dating is in the middle of going to court cause the woman he was living with filed domestic abuse charges and got a restraining order on him...... it's a bit shocking since he was the last man I ever felt in danger with.....never hurt me... always very gentle. Either he lost it or she is psycho... or he lost it cause she is psycho.... I dunno. Don't care. Just glad it wasn't me and never will be(when it comes to him)

Posted by MiZLeo

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by MiZLeo
I just found out a couple weeks ago that a pisces man I was dating is in the middle of going to court cause the woman he was living with filed domestic abuse charges and got a restraining order on him...... it's a bit shocking since he was the last man I ever felt in danger with.....never hurt me... always very gentle. Either he lost it or she is psycho... or he lost it cause she is psycho.... I dunno. Don't care. Just glad it wasn't me and never will be(when it comes to him)

Are you still dating him after finding out?

Did the restraining order go through? That depends if it did because the system doesn't hand out RO's like candy. The woman would need substantial evidence to prove he is in fact hostile.

I am not. I have been following the case as much as I can through the public records available. Since it is a family Court case they don't post the documents. I know she filled a temporary injunction and they went to court for it. Between her initial filing he was served. She submitted a witness list. She filed to have use of the property which tells me he's out of the house. Theday of the hearing it listed they both had lawyers. I'm guessing during the hearing they changed the terms of the injunction. It stated it was still temporary but it had been amended. Another hearing is set for next month..... it has been kind of like watching a TV documentary. Lol. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for next seasons cliffhanger reveal(aka what happens after next month's hearing)

He doesn't have an arrest record tho which tells me that he didn't physically touch her.... maybe... he maybe threatened her, maybe broke something or threw something, or maybe wouldn't let her leave to get away from him. I have no idea. Wish I could see the documents.

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Posted by SattyAries
I've been with this Pisces guy physically since 8 months and onthe phone since a long long time now. My question is only from pisces mature men. I did say things to hurt him to spit on my face. We'd immaturely bring up eachother's past in arguments and things often led to stopping all communications but one day he pushed me towards to couch and I fell. The push was pretty rude and he left the house for few hours and came back with flowers and an apology card. Next time he ripped my clothes and a slap and then third time he spat and I brokeup with him. After a month in November he came back apologising and explained why he behaved like that he said he had trillion other things to deal with and I had no idea about his stress level and I pushed him. I forgave him again on the oath that if he ever did that again I'd leave him for good and no more chances will be granted. It's been only 2 months now and he's been soo well behaved it's unbelievable. He's not even being rude in arguments and he's being very mature. I don't know why I still regret giving him this chance cuz one day God forbid he does it again and I fear if that'll be too late for me to move on cuz I've started to love him now after all these months only cuz he's been a gentleman for the first time ever in soo many years. What is your say on his behaviour?