Can Pisces Man Forgive?
This topic was created in the Pisces forum by stormageddon on Tuesday, October 2, 2012 and has 36 replies.
I have been dating a Pisces man for a couple of months. He adored me right from the beginning, but I was more nervous and cautious. He has been going through some bad stuff, trying to get some kind of joint custody over his kids and not getting anywhere, and this has made him kind of negative and dark. Even so, I was starting to have feelings for him, until.....
Pisces loves to crack jokes, and one of the things my Pisces joked about often was my career path. I let a lot of it roll off my back, but recently, his jokes extended to one I considered mean, because it extended to making fun of my new business partner, who also happens to be a male friend I consider closer than a brother. I felt like my chosen family's honor had been insulted.
Yes, Pisces man apologized profusely and said he felt ashamed, but I was SO angry that I snapped and ended things. I said some harsh things, including that I thought he was too negative and not ready for a relationship.
A few days later, I wrote to him and apologized for snapping and for not handling things like an adult. He was still apologetic, and we both ended up apologizing to each other and expressing a wish that things were different, wishing each other the best in the future, etc. He is going into counselling for some of his issues. He seemed resigned to our break-up though.
I have been grieving harder than I ever thought I would, and I think I made a huge mistake. I think if I had addressed my concerns calmly early on, such as how much his joking bothered me, he would have dealt with this and we would have continued moving forward together.
I also wish he would have fought for me.
Is it pointless, to try to win him back? Can a Pisces man forgive a woman for snapping and cutting him loose so quickly? My instinct is to just be honest about where I am at and ask him if we can start over, but my pride is holding me back, and my head tells me the wrong things aren't supposed to last anyway. I don't know what to do.
Pisces loves to crack jokes, and one of the things my Pisces joked about often was my career path. I let a lot of it roll off my back, but recently, his jokes extended to one I considered mean, because it extended to making fun of my new business partner, who also happens to be a male friend I consider closer than a brother. I felt like my chosen family's honor had been insulted.
Yes, Pisces man apologized profusely and said he felt ashamed, but I was SO angry that I snapped and ended things. I said some harsh things, including that I thought he was too negative and not ready for a relationship.
A few days later, I wrote to him and apologized for snapping and for not handling things like an adult. He was still apologetic, and we both ended up apologizing to each other and expressing a wish that things were different, wishing each other the best in the future, etc. He is going into counselling for some of his issues. He seemed resigned to our break-up though.
I have been grieving harder than I ever thought I would, and I think I made a huge mistake. I think if I had addressed my concerns calmly early on, such as how much his joking bothered me, he would have dealt with this and we would have continued moving forward together.
I also wish he would have fought for me.
Is it pointless, to try to win him back? Can a Pisces man forgive a woman for snapping and cutting him loose so quickly? My instinct is to just be honest about where I am at and ask him if we can start over, but my pride is holding me back, and my head tells me the wrong things aren't supposed to last anyway. I don't know what to do.
I've been dumped for some silly bullshit before.. and no, I don't go back.
Cuz the truth is right there for me to see in can't-miss neon colors... if this person would dump me over a thoughtless and provoking remark I made (esp after having made similar cracks before, but all of a sudden THIS time it's not okay?).. if this person would think *someone else* is more important than ME, even at the cost of OUR relationship... if our relationship meant so little, or even wasn't as close and bonded as I thought.. what will they break up with me for next? An argument about putting the toilet paper front-to-back or back-to-front? About how many times I hit the snooze button? How about the way I talk during movies? My penchant for buying shoes?
See where I'm going with this? That's broken trust.. that's bailing when things get rough.. aaaand not all that rough, really. Then they regret it (of course).. maybe cuz it was stupid, hair-triggered, and a manipulation tactic to get what they wanted, or to be all, "I'll show YOU.. Take THAT, sucka!" ? Then they apologize, try to take it all back.. like that can change the fact that they DUMPED me so easily, and for such a small thing, having a childish fit instead of having a mature adult discussion about the incident(s)? Nope, "sorry" doesn't fix anything.. and once my faith in you (and us being able to weather the bad times together) is proven to be foolish and naive.. no, I don't go back. Cuz how can we be right for each other is something like this can end us so easily?
Cuz the truth is right there for me to see in can't-miss neon colors... if this person would dump me over a thoughtless and provoking remark I made (esp after having made similar cracks before, but all of a sudden THIS time it's not okay?).. if this person would think *someone else* is more important than ME, even at the cost of OUR relationship... if our relationship meant so little, or even wasn't as close and bonded as I thought.. what will they break up with me for next? An argument about putting the toilet paper front-to-back or back-to-front? About how many times I hit the snooze button? How about the way I talk during movies? My penchant for buying shoes?
See where I'm going with this? That's broken trust.. that's bailing when things get rough.. aaaand not all that rough, really. Then they regret it (of course).. maybe cuz it was stupid, hair-triggered, and a manipulation tactic to get what they wanted, or to be all, "I'll show YOU.. Take THAT, sucka!" ? Then they apologize, try to take it all back.. like that can change the fact that they DUMPED me so easily, and for such a small thing, having a childish fit instead of having a mature adult discussion about the incident(s)? Nope, "sorry" doesn't fix anything.. and once my faith in you (and us being able to weather the bad times together) is proven to be foolish and naive.. no, I don't go back. Cuz how can we be right for each other is something like this can end us so easily?
"My instinct is to just be honest about where I am at and ask him if we can start over, but my pride is holding me back"
Swallowing your massive (misplaced) pride and being 100% honest about all of this is the ONLY chance you have to salvage this. Period.
If you can't do it, let it go. *shrug*
Swallowing your massive (misplaced) pride and being 100% honest about all of this is the ONLY chance you have to salvage this. Period.
If you can't do it, let it go. *shrug*
I used to think I could forgive and forget.
I still can but I have learned that depending on the situation I'm in, parameters change.
You met a pisces guy at a very low point in his family matters.
Sure he might appear like fun and act like it, but he's wounded and in need of comfort or casual dating.
He might feel better temporary to get his ego stroked and entertain a lovely woman, but his heart and head won't be in it.
He has been venting frustrations with you, mainly because he's in pain -I don't agree with his way of outing it, but it's there none the less-.
Basically he's not ready for anything serious right now.
You were just an entertainment piece to get his mind off of the sad reality he's in.
He's frustrated and picked at you frequently, trying to make himself feel better? I don't know his motives for it, but it must have given him comfort or relief somehow.
Your ego is in the way yes, but you cannot start something with a Pisces guy who isn't open and ready for it.
This one REALLY isn't ready for anything new.
He needs a lot more time and 'casual dates with random people' to start feeling normal again.
Cut this one loose, you'll only hurt yourself in the end because I can guarantee he won't stay around.
I still can but I have learned that depending on the situation I'm in, parameters change.
You met a pisces guy at a very low point in his family matters.
Sure he might appear like fun and act like it, but he's wounded and in need of comfort or casual dating.
He might feel better temporary to get his ego stroked and entertain a lovely woman, but his heart and head won't be in it.
He has been venting frustrations with you, mainly because he's in pain -I don't agree with his way of outing it, but it's there none the less-.
Basically he's not ready for anything serious right now.
You were just an entertainment piece to get his mind off of the sad reality he's in.
He's frustrated and picked at you frequently, trying to make himself feel better? I don't know his motives for it, but it must have given him comfort or relief somehow.
Your ego is in the way yes, but you cannot start something with a Pisces guy who isn't open and ready for it.
This one REALLY isn't ready for anything new.
He needs a lot more time and 'casual dates with random people' to start feeling normal again.
Cut this one loose, you'll only hurt yourself in the end because I can guarantee he won't stay around.
Posted by 88PISCIS
I agree with Nefer.
Not only he felt less important than your friend and with what you say he is going through, this was probably the last thing he wanted to happen to him, and that is why he didnt fight for you.
When we are going through difficult times and someone brings drama into our lives and on top of that we were put aside for someone else. We prefer to just walk away, next time he will be afraid to say something because you will end things again. Why do we want to risk and be left hanging again?
You can ask him if there is a chance you guys can start all over but he will always be afraid of opening his mouth around you, if he comes back he will be more quiet and will express himself less, and less as time goes by.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for both of you.
This guy is beyond help for now. If she asks him to 'forgive and start again' he might say yes, but it'll be a broken start. His heart won't be in it, like emotional rebound. I've seen and lived this similar scenario a few times.
We date when we're not ready for it and in the end have to let the other person down. Sabotaging the relation is easy so there's always a way out, but I'm trying to prevent her from getting hurt. If you truly care for this guy, and you can wait, I suggest waiting till he's done dating others. Then you also have that fear 'what if he does find someone whilst dating others'.
You can try to start again with him but my gut is telling me it'll end in tears if she goes back to him now.
Okay, my Merfolk brethren are going to string me up again for this, but here it goes...
"I also wish he would have fought for me."
The Pisces I am, the Pisces I've known... We don't. We won't. There it is in black and white.. you cannot manipulate us into "fighting for" you by initiating a break up. We'll simply let you dig your own grave.
We won't compete for your attention and affection, we won't fight for your love. If it's not freely and openly given.. then it's not what we thought/hoped it was, not what we really want, and it's not worth it.
If you want to let go, WE'LL LET YOU. If you were looking for some dramatic display, for us to show how much we care by us trying to keep you there, begging and pleading and telling you to stay.. you'll die of old age before that comes.
Maybe *some* Pisces would.. maybe if the right Astrological makeup underneath.. like way too much of something, creating a need for drama and emotional games.. maybe a certain kind of childhood, and they grow up thinking "dramatic display--break up--even more dramatic display--make up" is normal, or is how you LOVE someone...
But I haven't known a Pisces like this. No, the ones I know will sit like stone, *unmoved* and *unwilling* to "fight for you" while you're ending things. If it's so easy for you to do this, if you're so quick to jump to THIS as a way to deal with our problems.. then we'll show you how very easy it really is. And we will never let you see us burn.
I've heard it several times about myself.. cuz never once would I "fight" some guy on his decision to break up with me. They end up calling me cold, unfeeling, like a rock, emotionless, uncaring.. saying I obviously didn't care about him, much less love him.. cuz I just let him go and made it look sooo easy, like discussing the weather.
Even if he was tearing my heart out, ripping it to pieces in front of me.. I would never give him the satisfaction, never buy into his drama and manipulation. If he would do THIS, then he is NOT RIGHT FOR ME. And I would sit like stone, still unmoved, seemingly unaffected. And he would walk away, without me ever lifting a finger to stop him or convince him to stay.
"I also wish he would have fought for me."
The Pisces I am, the Pisces I've known... We don't. We won't. There it is in black and white.. you cannot manipulate us into "fighting for" you by initiating a break up. We'll simply let you dig your own grave.
We won't compete for your attention and affection, we won't fight for your love. If it's not freely and openly given.. then it's not what we thought/hoped it was, not what we really want, and it's not worth it.
If you want to let go, WE'LL LET YOU. If you were looking for some dramatic display, for us to show how much we care by us trying to keep you there, begging and pleading and telling you to stay.. you'll die of old age before that comes.
Maybe *some* Pisces would.. maybe if the right Astrological makeup underneath.. like way too much of something, creating a need for drama and emotional games.. maybe a certain kind of childhood, and they grow up thinking "dramatic display--break up--even more dramatic display--make up" is normal, or is how you LOVE someone...
But I haven't known a Pisces like this. No, the ones I know will sit like stone, *unmoved* and *unwilling* to "fight for you" while you're ending things. If it's so easy for you to do this, if you're so quick to jump to THIS as a way to deal with our problems.. then we'll show you how very easy it really is. And we will never let you see us burn.
I've heard it several times about myself.. cuz never once would I "fight" some guy on his decision to break up with me. They end up calling me cold, unfeeling, like a rock, emotionless, uncaring.. saying I obviously didn't care about him, much less love him.. cuz I just let him go and made it look sooo easy, like discussing the weather.
Even if he was tearing my heart out, ripping it to pieces in front of me.. I would never give him the satisfaction, never buy into his drama and manipulation. If he would do THIS, then he is NOT RIGHT FOR ME. And I would sit like stone, still unmoved, seemingly unaffected. And he would walk away, without me ever lifting a finger to stop him or convince him to stay.
Nefer you're painfully right.
If you want me to fight for you, then tell me and I won't stop until I have you.
If you don't say it or make it clear, then I'll suffer in silence thinking you didn't want me to.
If you haven't notice yet, Pisces people aren't the most verbal ones out there.
We are the martyrs, not always because we want to be but out of sheer self preservation.
Hurt too many times, betrayed, abused.. the world isn't always kind to people with an open heart.
Sometimes I wonder why people need love to be complicated.
It really isn't.
Sure I can provide entertainment, give you the ride of your life, but underneath it all is simple/true/unconditional love beating. If that isn't something you value, then I have nothing else to offer you.
Sure this guy can forgive you but ask yourself, is what he's offering enough for you?
He cannot offer what/who he really is at the moment, because this dark & twisted version is what reality has made him.
Are you willing to endure that emotional turmoil he has going on, or do you want a cookiecutter story to unfold?
I can't promise you the outcome yet, but you need to know exactly what you want from him BEFORE you start again.
If you want me to fight for you, then tell me and I won't stop until I have you.
If you don't say it or make it clear, then I'll suffer in silence thinking you didn't want me to.
If you haven't notice yet, Pisces people aren't the most verbal ones out there.
We are the martyrs, not always because we want to be but out of sheer self preservation.
Hurt too many times, betrayed, abused.. the world isn't always kind to people with an open heart.
Sometimes I wonder why people need love to be complicated.
It really isn't.
Sure I can provide entertainment, give you the ride of your life, but underneath it all is simple/true/unconditional love beating. If that isn't something you value, then I have nothing else to offer you.
Sure this guy can forgive you but ask yourself, is what he's offering enough for you?
He cannot offer what/who he really is at the moment, because this dark & twisted version is what reality has made him.
Are you willing to endure that emotional turmoil he has going on, or do you want a cookiecutter story to unfold?
I can't promise you the outcome yet, but you need to know exactly what you want from him BEFORE you start again.
Pisces need to fix themselves first before they can even begin to be positive in a relationship...
If you still want him and are *prepared* to pick up the pieces ...when they continue to fall you may very well get him truly...but...
it's going to be a batter to overcome...and pain you will feel...that's because he may go back and forth when things get too much in his life...
he will be indecisive...stressed to the max ...
Otherwise give him some time to sort his stuff out then try again...
If you still want him and are *prepared* to pick up the pieces ...when they continue to fall you may very well get him truly...but...
it's going to be a batter to overcome...and pain you will feel...that's because he may go back and forth when things get too much in his life...
he will be indecisive...stressed to the max ...
Otherwise give him some time to sort his stuff out then try again...
haha batter...meant to be battle
I would definitely be open and honest about why you reacted...and let things fall into place after that...
Posted by Nefer
I've been dumped for some silly bullshit before.. and no, I don't go back.
Cuz the truth is right there for me to see in can't-miss neon colors... if this person would dump me over a thoughtless and provoking remark I made (esp after having made similar cracks before, but all of a sudden THIS time it's not okay?).. if this person would think *someone else* is more important than ME, even at the cost of OUR relationship... if our relationship meant so little, or even wasn't as close and bonded as I thought.. what will they break up with me for next? An argument about putting the toilet paper front-to-back or back-to-front? About how many times I hit the snooze button? How about the way I talk during movies? My penchant for buying shoes?
See where I'm going with this? That's broken trust.. that's bailing when things get rough.. aaaand not all that rough, really. Then they regret it (of course).. maybe cuz it was stupid, hair-triggered, and a manipulation tactic to get what they wanted, or to be all, "I'll show YOU.. Take THAT, sucka!" ? Then they apologize, try to take it all back.. like that can change the fact that they DUMPED me so easily, and for such a small thing, having a childish fit instead of having a mature adult discussion about the incident(s)? Nope, "sorry" doesn't fix anything.. and once my faith in you (and us being able to weather the bad times together) is proven to be foolish and naive.. no, I don't go back. Cuz how can we be right for each other is something like this can end us so easily?
bullshit! literally, BULLshit! your taurus is showing.
A, all i read was the OP's and Nefer's first post
B, i skimmed the OP's and Nefer's first post.
C, wtf? he insulted you. he insulted your friend. he was wrong and you're apologizing???? ahh, gotta love stupid, immature, desperate women.
4, gotta love Pisces. wth are you apologizing for? he's been insulting you and previously, you took it on the chin. the moment you stand up for yourself, the moment that you say something truthful, but hurtful, you have to apologize? what about the fact that he's been hurting you all along by disrespecting your profession? that means nothing because you THINK he got his piddly feelings hurt?
if you're willing to take his shit, he should be willing to take yours and THAT is what makes Nefer's post a flaming pile of shit. if you're not careful, a Pisces has a way of making you think that their feelings are equal to/more important than your own. in other words, a Pisces can fuck you over and make you think the fuckatitude is your fault. you'll end up feeling bad for a natural, RATIONAL (virgo) reaction to an offense. they're clever fuckers and people underestimate them based on this.
sure, you could have chosen a better way to express your disdain, but your immature response does not negate the action the preempted it. he's manipulating you emotionally. this is exactly where pisces likes to position his/her partner. don't fall into the trap. if you do, you'll spend FOREVER apologizing even when you have a point...even when you're right. if they FEEL bad, they have a crafty way of making you FEEL bad. at times it's legitimate and others, they're full of shit.
don't be afraid of calling them on their shit and if they're not strong enough to recognize they're full of it, don't be afraid to leave.
B, i skimmed the OP's and Nefer's first post.
C, wtf? he insulted you. he insulted your friend. he was wrong and you're apologizing???? ahh, gotta love stupid, immature, desperate women.
4, gotta love Pisces. wth are you apologizing for? he's been insulting you and previously, you took it on the chin. the moment you stand up for yourself, the moment that you say something truthful, but hurtful, you have to apologize? what about the fact that he's been hurting you all along by disrespecting your profession? that means nothing because you THINK he got his piddly feelings hurt?
if you're willing to take his shit, he should be willing to take yours and THAT is what makes Nefer's post a flaming pile of shit. if you're not careful, a Pisces has a way of making you think that their feelings are equal to/more important than your own. in other words, a Pisces can fuck you over and make you think the fuckatitude is your fault. you'll end up feeling bad for a natural, RATIONAL (virgo) reaction to an offense. they're clever fuckers and people underestimate them based on this.
sure, you could have chosen a better way to express your disdain, but your immature response does not negate the action the preempted it. he's manipulating you emotionally. this is exactly where pisces likes to position his/her partner. don't fall into the trap. if you do, you'll spend FOREVER apologizing even when you have a point...even when you're right. if they FEEL bad, they have a crafty way of making you FEEL bad. at times it's legitimate and others, they're full of shit.
don't be afraid of calling them on their shit and if they're not strong enough to recognize they're full of it, don't be afraid to leave.
so many typos 
Caligula is onto some of us.
Quickly, lets make him/her look like the bad guy
Quickly, lets make him/her look like the bad guy
Posted by 88PISCISPosted by Ormas
Caligula is onto some of us.
Quickly, lets make him/her look like the bad guy
lol, I like her outfit. so sexXXXXXXXXy LMAOclick to expand
hmmmm... are you subtly trying to draw attention to your own outfit?
it you make it so EASY while pretending it's not...
I know i won't be able to stop...
now it's so clear, you have plenty to fear...
yes, we know that you think you are hot...
( now i'll make up a dance for it.. *to the left! to the left
)Posted by shellshockerPosted by 88PISCISPosted by Ormas
Caligula is onto some of us.
Quickly, lets make him/her look like the bad guy
lol, I like her outfit. so sexXXXXXXXXy LMAO
hmmmm... are you subtly trying to draw attention to your own outfit?
click to expand
How do you go from a playful remark on the hotness of Caligula -dang woman, you look ballsy every time I see that pink granny smoking- to drawing attention to her own picture?
Looking into things a little bit TOO much?
Alrighty, Tubby.. let me clarify. Or at least expound.
He made insensitive/rude cracks about her career. Agreed, that's pretty shitty of him. However, how was he supposed to KNOW it was shitty if she kept "taking it on the chin"?? See, I'm all for a woman calling a man out on his shit. However, it's HER responsibility to do so the FIRST time something happens, maybe the second. This woman is so totally unable to say what she's thinking and feeling, leaving him in the dark thinking she's fine with his stupid, hurtful (TO HER) jokes. That makes this BOTH of their faults - but definitely not just his.
When does she get the backbone to speak up? When it involves another man. Hmmm. So she can't speak up for herself but she can for him? That's gonna bother almost ANY man. But as for my stance, okay fine, whatever it takes to stop stuffing down feelings and acting like something doesn't bother you when it really does. It's dishonest, it's fake, it's counter-productive, and it destroys communication.
But then, when it was brought to his attention, he was remorseful and apologized. And apparently, so did she. (Now, I don't think a person should be/say sorry for speaking their true feelings and calling someone out on BS behavior... but if she went batshit crazy when she did, that might warrant an apology.) I never said she should apologize for her feelings, not then, and not now. I'm GLAD she finally stopped just silently taking feeling hurt and disrespected, even if it was a bit late coming. What I said was that she needs to set aside her misplaced pride (and fear) and BE HONEST.. FINALLY start telling this guy what she really thinks/feels. (If she wants to create a change, she needs to make a change. If she wants more of the same.. by all means, stay the course.)
Now where was I? Oh yeah.. so there they were, all apologizing to each other and shit.. and by her own admission, she "snaps" and ends the relationship. Fine, whatever, her prerogative. But wait.. she regrets it now, and believes she may have overreacted.. but he seems "resigned" to the break up and seemingly doesn't want to get back together.. and she wants to know why, and what he might be thinking, and what she should do. So that's what I was answering.
He made insensitive/rude cracks about her career. Agreed, that's pretty shitty of him. However, how was he supposed to KNOW it was shitty if she kept "taking it on the chin"?? See, I'm all for a woman calling a man out on his shit. However, it's HER responsibility to do so the FIRST time something happens, maybe the second. This woman is so totally unable to say what she's thinking and feeling, leaving him in the dark thinking she's fine with his stupid, hurtful (TO HER) jokes. That makes this BOTH of their faults - but definitely not just his.
When does she get the backbone to speak up? When it involves another man. Hmmm. So she can't speak up for herself but she can for him? That's gonna bother almost ANY man. But as for my stance, okay fine, whatever it takes to stop stuffing down feelings and acting like something doesn't bother you when it really does. It's dishonest, it's fake, it's counter-productive, and it destroys communication.
But then, when it was brought to his attention, he was remorseful and apologized. And apparently, so did she. (Now, I don't think a person should be/say sorry for speaking their true feelings and calling someone out on BS behavior... but if she went batshit crazy when she did, that might warrant an apology.) I never said she should apologize for her feelings, not then, and not now. I'm GLAD she finally stopped just silently taking feeling hurt and disrespected, even if it was a bit late coming. What I said was that she needs to set aside her misplaced pride (and fear) and BE HONEST.. FINALLY start telling this guy what she really thinks/feels. (If she wants to create a change, she needs to make a change. If she wants more of the same.. by all means, stay the course.)
Now where was I? Oh yeah.. so there they were, all apologizing to each other and shit.. and by her own admission, she "snaps" and ends the relationship. Fine, whatever, her prerogative. But wait.. she regrets it now, and believes she may have overreacted.. but he seems "resigned" to the break up and seemingly doesn't want to get back together.. and she wants to know why, and what he might be thinking, and what she should do. So that's what I was answering.
Actually, what she SHOULD do is hop in a Time Machine and go back to the FIRST time his asinine cracks made her feel hurt and disrespected and speak up THEN, and give him a chance to correct his behavior. He got no such chance. She FINALLY spoke up, but by then he was taken aback (it was suddenly not okay?) and she was so full of resentment (which tends to happen when you stuff down your feelings and keep allowing someone to say/do something that makes you feel disrespected) and then she BLEW, and then (maybe so high on her self-righteousness and justification, finally feeling "in control" when she was so used to feeling "out of control" with him) and then she REALLY let him have it.. and broke up with him. So who's emotionally manipulating again?
Now she regrets it, wants him back.. yet this dude doesn't seem to want her back? Well, to ANY man, a woman stuffing down her feelings, pretending, faking, not being REAL, just "keeping the peace".. well, it spells fake, phony.. maybe he doesn't know EXACTLY what it is that feels so "off", but he does know that it's not feeling as good around her. Drama. Then she blows like Vesuvius. BIG drama. And she wonders why he won't take her back? Probably he needs a breather. If she can't speak up about this one little thing, I'm willing to bet she doesn't speak up about a lot of things. And that's never the guy's fault. No man can give you what you never asked for, and he certainly shouldn't be vilified for failing to read her mind. We have to TEACH people how to treat us - what's okay for one person might be a huge deal-breaker to another.
Next time (whether it's with his or with another guy) if she feels hurt, disrespected, or anything negative about something he says or does.. speak up, right then. CALMLY, cuz guys don't respond well histrionics or over the top responses to something fairly small. PEOPLE don't respond well to people freaking out on them out of the blue. Too much drama.. another reason he's really not responding favorably to the idea of getting back together.
Now, most men are more clueless than intentionally hurtful. If told, a guy will usually stop doing that thing, whatever it is. Give him a chance to fix it, BEFORE you go supernova and jump the gun straight to dumping, then regretting your haste. BUT.. anytime you tell a man something feels bad or disrespectful.. and he DOESN'T stop doing it, and DOESN'T seem to care, THEN dump him and never take a call from him again.
Now she regrets it, wants him back.. yet this dude doesn't seem to want her back? Well, to ANY man, a woman stuffing down her feelings, pretending, faking, not being REAL, just "keeping the peace".. well, it spells fake, phony.. maybe he doesn't know EXACTLY what it is that feels so "off", but he does know that it's not feeling as good around her. Drama. Then she blows like Vesuvius. BIG drama. And she wonders why he won't take her back? Probably he needs a breather. If she can't speak up about this one little thing, I'm willing to bet she doesn't speak up about a lot of things. And that's never the guy's fault. No man can give you what you never asked for, and he certainly shouldn't be vilified for failing to read her mind. We have to TEACH people how to treat us - what's okay for one person might be a huge deal-breaker to another.
Next time (whether it's with his or with another guy) if she feels hurt, disrespected, or anything negative about something he says or does.. speak up, right then. CALMLY, cuz guys don't respond well histrionics or over the top responses to something fairly small. PEOPLE don't respond well to people freaking out on them out of the blue. Too much drama.. another reason he's really not responding favorably to the idea of getting back together.
Now, most men are more clueless than intentionally hurtful. If told, a guy will usually stop doing that thing, whatever it is. Give him a chance to fix it, BEFORE you go supernova and jump the gun straight to dumping, then regretting your haste. BUT.. anytime you tell a man something feels bad or disrespectful.. and he DOESN'T stop doing it, and DOESN'T seem to care, THEN dump him and never take a call from him again.
i agree. as i said, she's immature, stupid and desperate. with that said, she described her business partner as a long-time friend who happens to be male. why would she not stand up for him? oh, cause he's a dude?
i think it's quite normal for some people to take a personal insult on the chin, but to turn into a stark raving lunatic when "family" is attacked. ie, you can call me ugly, but insult my nephew and oops! let me help you pick your teeth off the floor.
at the end of the day, he's an insecure prick. she pulled his card and his bitch ass won't return because he lost his doormat.
fuck understanding him. fuck how to treat man. he's a bitch and i hope she called him one and told him he sucked in bed to boot.
i think it's quite normal for some people to take a personal insult on the chin, but to turn into a stark raving lunatic when "family" is attacked. ie, you can call me ugly, but insult my nephew and oops! let me help you pick your teeth off the floor.
at the end of the day, he's an insecure prick. she pulled his card and his bitch ass won't return because he lost his doormat.
fuck understanding him. fuck how to treat man. he's a bitch and i hope she called him one and told him he sucked in bed to boot.
lol i love you ♥
Wow.
So, just to clarify this, the friend in question is someone I have known for many years, who (being the Cancerian he is) stepped into the big brother role when I lost my real brother. We are close enough that once upon a time, he fed me when I was literally starving. Pisces man knows this man and knows we have a very family-like relationship. It's not like my "mere friend" is some random guy. I've only been dating Pisces for 2 months, and I've known my Cancer brother for years. So yes, I call the right to choose my friend first in this particular situation, and Pisces man GETS that. He is ashamed of himself because he didn't realize the way I would take this particular joke, and when he DID see it from my point of view, it was a fresh perspective for him to even see it that way.
Also to clarify, I have NOT asked Pisces man to come back. All I have done is apologize for responding to childishness with more childishness. I am not an evil person, and neither is Pisces man. We both like to think we are nice, good, gentle people with decent lives of our own, and I believe we think the same thing about one another. I certainly think it of him, and he has said it of me. He still says it, in fact. I think we are both basically grown ups who also have to deal with complicated life stuff sometimes, like everybody else. I don't think it's fair to paint him as manipulative or as someone insincere of future intent, any more than it is to paint me as desperate or a drama queen.
I came with a genuine question; I was kind of blown away by the bite of the responses I got. I felt defensive, kind of backed into a corner. I felt like you think I am a buttery, childish person, or that he is, and I almost didn't want to come back in here. I was feeling pretty emotional about it, when I wrote my post. And I have done some serious thinking, reading what others have written. In the end, I am grateful for that input. And props for breaking in a newbie.
The joking. I really don't think he was picking at me/my career/my friend on purpose. I would NOT have realized that if I had not gone back and apologized for my behaviour. My apology is what started conversation going again.
more....
So, just to clarify this, the friend in question is someone I have known for many years, who (being the Cancerian he is) stepped into the big brother role when I lost my real brother. We are close enough that once upon a time, he fed me when I was literally starving. Pisces man knows this man and knows we have a very family-like relationship. It's not like my "mere friend" is some random guy. I've only been dating Pisces for 2 months, and I've known my Cancer brother for years. So yes, I call the right to choose my friend first in this particular situation, and Pisces man GETS that. He is ashamed of himself because he didn't realize the way I would take this particular joke, and when he DID see it from my point of view, it was a fresh perspective for him to even see it that way.
Also to clarify, I have NOT asked Pisces man to come back. All I have done is apologize for responding to childishness with more childishness. I am not an evil person, and neither is Pisces man. We both like to think we are nice, good, gentle people with decent lives of our own, and I believe we think the same thing about one another. I certainly think it of him, and he has said it of me. He still says it, in fact. I think we are both basically grown ups who also have to deal with complicated life stuff sometimes, like everybody else. I don't think it's fair to paint him as manipulative or as someone insincere of future intent, any more than it is to paint me as desperate or a drama queen.
I came with a genuine question; I was kind of blown away by the bite of the responses I got. I felt defensive, kind of backed into a corner. I felt like you think I am a buttery, childish person, or that he is, and I almost didn't want to come back in here. I was feeling pretty emotional about it, when I wrote my post. And I have done some serious thinking, reading what others have written. In the end, I am grateful for that input. And props for breaking in a newbie.
The joking. I really don't think he was picking at me/my career/my friend on purpose. I would NOT have realized that if I had not gone back and apologized for my behaviour. My apology is what started conversation going again.
more....
Pisces man is a very funny guy; he works in the public eye and is used to keeping 'em laughing. When the joke about my friend happened, it triggered a reaction in me - it appeared that my Pisces man saw people like my friend and I, in our profession (music), as losers. Then I started to look back on the jokes about my career and view them in this new light, of him thinking my career is Loserville. I had intended to deal with the issue of the joking the next time it happened, but because the next time was when my friend was brought into it, I snapped.
And yes, it was totally a prideful thing to do. But also an honest response. I have worked hard to be taken seriously as a female pro musician, and I've done it in a short period of time. I take great pride in being able to make actual money doing this, and now I am going to do it in partnership with my friend, who is, honestly, one of the best. It's a huge step up in the world for me, as a pro. Pisces man is a white privileged dude who works in a boys club, a man does his best to be open-minded, but who still views things through that lens until told otherwise. This has been an educational moment for both of us. He honestly did not see the joke that way until I pointed it out to him. I honestly did not know how much I had come to care about him until I apologized for being so childish, and we started talking again. and I realized I had been prideful and distrustful.
Pisces man asked me out by confessing that he's had a crush on me for 2 years. I don't think I am some passing lady for him. But in truth, I hardly knew him when we started dating, and I have been more cautious and reserved. I am always slow to let new people in. Perhaps I was looking for reasons to back away from a passion that was overwhelming to someone like me. But I am willing to admit I made a mistake like that.
I came here for honest input because I don't really have any Pisceans in my life and I don't know much about them and their emotional realm. Almost everyone I am truly close to seems to be Scorpio or Cancer! I was even raised by a Cancer mom. So I sort of know the watery realms, but not from Pisces' perspective. I know what I can find to read about Pisces, but thought it would be more helpful to hear from real Pisceans.
more...
And yes, it was totally a prideful thing to do. But also an honest response. I have worked hard to be taken seriously as a female pro musician, and I've done it in a short period of time. I take great pride in being able to make actual money doing this, and now I am going to do it in partnership with my friend, who is, honestly, one of the best. It's a huge step up in the world for me, as a pro. Pisces man is a white privileged dude who works in a boys club, a man does his best to be open-minded, but who still views things through that lens until told otherwise. This has been an educational moment for both of us. He honestly did not see the joke that way until I pointed it out to him. I honestly did not know how much I had come to care about him until I apologized for being so childish, and we started talking again. and I realized I had been prideful and distrustful.
Pisces man asked me out by confessing that he's had a crush on me for 2 years. I don't think I am some passing lady for him. But in truth, I hardly knew him when we started dating, and I have been more cautious and reserved. I am always slow to let new people in. Perhaps I was looking for reasons to back away from a passion that was overwhelming to someone like me. But I am willing to admit I made a mistake like that.
I came here for honest input because I don't really have any Pisceans in my life and I don't know much about them and their emotional realm. Almost everyone I am truly close to seems to be Scorpio or Cancer! I was even raised by a Cancer mom. So I sort of know the watery realms, but not from Pisces' perspective. I know what I can find to read about Pisces, but thought it would be more helpful to hear from real Pisceans.
more...
Thing is, I have found my answers, I think. You all have ultimately challenged me to really examine my situation to see if it was what you all thought it was. Some things I agree with, and some things I vehemently don't. I also think what I really need to do is just tell him all of this. It occured to me writing this that I should just be writing it to him. And then tell him I think I made a dumb mistake out of pride and fear of trust, and see what he makes of it.
/end
/end
not that it matters at this point, but what is your sign?
Sounds like a pick up line LOL
i dont date stupid.
also wondering if she's black...non-white
also wondering if she's black...non-white
Can we take bets??
I'm leaning towards Aqua...
I'm leaning towards Aqua...
i'm betting that's she's a fixed sign too. can't pin point which. i fear taurus.
*weeps*
*weeps*
Posted by stormageddon
I also think what I really need to do is just tell him all of this. It occured to me writing this that I should just be writing it to him. And then tell him I think I made a dumb mistake out of pride and fear of trust, and see what he makes of it.
/end
awww... he just got jealous is all.. and sometimes Pisces can be a little *cough* self righteous
there is nothing wrong with apologizing when you really mean it. tell him all you wrote and I bet you guys will be fine..
you'll be fine, but he'll never forget. the irony is, fishies have the memories of elephants. sure, it may seem like they have teeny tiny brains, but the fuckers ability to recall the first time you stepped on their toe is limitless.
wait...they'll recall the pain, but can't remember the details. bastards!
Posted by caligula
wait...they'll recall the pain, but can't remember the details. bastards!
LOL!
Posted by shellshocker
Posted by 88PISCIS
lol, I like her outfit. so sexXXXXXXXXy LMAO
hmmmm... are you subtly trying to draw attention to your own outfit?
it you make it so EASY while pretending it's not...
I know i won't be able to stop...
now it's so clear, you have plenty to fear...
yes, we know that you think you are hot...
click to expand
lol
<"`.
Posted by P-Angel
Or do you just sit back and wait to be adored, while thinking that Pricesses are allowed to have uncontrolled issues?
Well, aren't they
Posted by caligula
wait...they'll recall the pain, but can't remember the details. bastards!
Oh nononono, feelings are the link to that moment but I recall details very vividly.
It's a gift and a curse.
You fascinate me, continue please.
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