Confused and hurt by Pisces

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Tegaleg
@Tegaleg
9 Years

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Help! I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Met my Pisces last November. He actively persued me, promised me the earth and I ended up falling for him. Fast forward to now and the wheels have well and truly came off. We've had a few fights.. and every time I've been the one to try and rectify things, even when he has been at fault. He even froze me out for a week then turned the blame on me. Anyway, last week I told him I didn't feel things were right between us and he said he didn't know why I felt like that (gut instinct). Again he turned it round on me and said he wasn't going to play mind games. I asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship and he said it had gone beyond that. At this point I'd had enough. When he brought me things to me we were both upset and he found it difficult to leave. He asked if we could talk the following night and I asked him what was the point, he'd already made it clear he didn't want to be with me. He said he didn't want to leave things like that and would text me the next morning. No text. I rang him that night and asked if he still wanted to talk. He said he didn't think so. Asked him why and he said he just didn't want to and we are two different people with different views (not true as we almost like the same things)! Asked him how he'd felt leaving me the previous night and he said not good. Asked him if he loved me and he said yes, but not enough!!! Killer blow. Got really upset and told him it was all take with him and no give. I stood by him when he had medical issues, tries to get him help and was always there for him and I felt cheated. He then told me I'd I wanted a future with him he needed space to think. So many mixed signals my head hurts. He said he would contact me on Wednesday (tomorrow) but I'm not so sure he will and won't know what to do. How can someone who tells you everyday that he loves you change so quickly. I'm a Virgo.
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arose32
@arose32
11 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by boxcarmirnta
Um..he sounds borderline. Never trust anyone who promises you the moon and stars at the very beginning...he sounds like he hooked you and now has you in his trap and can hurt you or say whatever he wants, gas light etc ....dude drop that mindfucker. Love is consistent. If you don't feel it, don't say it.
Please listen to this... I learned the hard way. He loves the power he have over you, not you... Happens to the best of us... Don't become a victim...
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tbird
@tbird
14 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

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Posted by MysteriousPresence
Posted by MiZLeo
Pisces men have this weird I care about you but don't love you thing. It's weird. Annoying. I dunno. They are hard to explain.
That's if we feel we're not with the right partner.
click to expand

Agreed with this statement.

I would leave the man alone. He's seems like he is confused and you being there around this time is going to muddle the waters even further and potentially hurt you in the end.

I can't decipher if he is an asshole or just confused. I would leave him be, during this time build up your wall around your heart and take guard. It's a shame... Virgo and Pisces can be a great pairing.

By the way, you guys DO see things differently your more analytical...we feel things out with emotions, even if you do like different things. Take for instance you are looking at art, you can both love the pieces, but lets say you can love the technique, we love how the painting makes us feel. You both love the same thing, but we have different perspectives through the looking glass. Doesn't mean that one is better, we are just different.
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Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

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leaving a lot of things unclear in your OP.

You sound very..confrontational for lack of a better word. Frustrated, reaching the end of your rope.

Posted by Tegaleg
Asked him how he'd felt leaving me the previous night and he said not good.
^What was the point of this attempt at guilt tripping?

Posted by Tegaleg
. I stood by him when he had medical issues, tries to get him help and was always there for him and I felt cheated
^What was the point of throwing this in his face? If you did it for him out of love...then why keep a tally.

Posted by Tegaleg
Asked him if he loved me and he said yes, but not enough!!!
click to expand

Well..two ways to look at it.

1) He meant it, you take it as face value in which case you should exit with grace and not prolong this drama.
2) He didn't mean it, but then do you really want to build something with someone who cannot give you a straight answer? Not even a straight answer, the opposite of what they want.

Whether 1) or 2)...the result would be the same. Seems like too much tension and misunderstanding all around to untangle the current situation.
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Tegaleg
@Tegaleg
9 Years

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One thing I am not is confrontational. I like to communicate, talk things through when there's a problem which he doesn't. He completely shuts down & closes off which upsets me. I don't like limbo or turmoil. And of course I asked those questions...I wanted to know how he really felt. After months of being told i was his soulmate, he's never felt like this before, he'll never love anyone the way he loves me, he's never going to leave me or hurt me etc. Also, I have been there for him constantly. If you knew the depth of the medical problem you would understand more. Yet when things were difficult for me he disappeared. Hope this clears things up for you slightly.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Virgos are notorious for shrugging off their partners feelings, and running cold when the partner needs to have a heart to heart.

In fact, they make whole threads about it, while all the Virgo members come in to attest to this accuracy.


Now, look !!! the tables have turned on a Virgo and she cannot handle what she dishes out.


I say, this is justice. You are getting what you deserve to get. There's no doubt in my mind that you are far from giving him the world, because virgos only give the world to themselves, to cater to their own needs.


And every person who has ever been with a Virgo knows this to be true.


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Tegaleg
@Tegaleg
9 Years

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Wow....that has actually made me laugh! I'm not sure if you can read or you are just so bitter and aggressive that you are automatically on the attack when someone is genuinely looking for help. When a Virgo falls in love they love wholeheartedly, without question and are loyal to a fault. Whatever your issues are maybe they should be addressed elsewhere rather than castigating other people for your shortcomings. FYI...he has rang me and apologised for how he has been treating me. I think that speaks volumes!!!!
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
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Posted by Tegaleg

1. and every time I've been the one to try and rectify things, even when he has been at fault.

2. He even froze me out for a week then turned the blame on me.

3. Again he turned it round on me and said he wasn't going to play mind games.

4. ..... he found it difficult to leave. He asked if we could talk the following night and I asked him what was the point, he'd already made it clear he didn't want to be with me.


1. sounds like you're keeping score. Pisces are more than wiling to admit when they are wrong. But, it sounds like you push him into adhering to your demands, through means of guilt-tripping.

2. if you did to me what you did to him, I would freeze you out too, and guess what? ... that's your fault

3. I can sense your playing head games ..... and he realizes it also. He even told you he's not playing your mind games.

4. and here's the evidence of your mind games. when he tells you he needs to talk to you .... your response is to push him away and tell him there's no point. when really you do want there to be a discussion between you two .... why else does this thread exist if you're not wanting him to communicate to you?

Yet, you push him away ... you run cold and blame him, while believing you're this amazing person who does nothing but cater to him .. yet, tell him #4 above to his face when he tries to come to you.


You're not fooling me for a second. And to be honest, you're too transparent for mind games, so you should come up with a different angle the next time you decide to control.

Hey, maybe you should try a Scorpio ... since you like control, while feigning innocence.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Posted by Tegaleg

When a Virgo falls in love they love wholeheartedly, without question and are loyal to a fault.



No, they don't. They're only loyal to fault when they've committed themselves. In fact they are perfectly capable of loving without actually being with the person they love.

You appear pretty ignorant ... you don't even know the basic characteristics of a Virgo.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
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Posted by Tegaleg

FYI...he has rang me and apologised for how he has been treating me. I think that speaks volumes!!!!



What actually speaks volumes is that the moment you're called out for your bullshit ..... suddenly, he calls you to admit he's wrong. Eventhough you went on and on about how it's always your fault with him.

So, now you want us to believe that suddenly he's changed ... and it all happened when you need to prove yourself.

We all know you're lying.


lol
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Tegaleg
@Tegaleg
9 Years

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@P-Angel

Yes. A meme. Well done. It addressed your question didn't it? Or have you forgotten the point you were so cheaply trying to make? You seem like a classic gas lighter! You really embody the dark side of Pisces. Toxic, cheap, smug and delusional. Quite honestly your vitriol is boring me now. I can't wait to see what inane crap you come back with. And in true Pisces style, you've managed to make this post all about you. Sad and lonely comes to mind.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
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Posted by Tegaleg

He actively persued me, promised me the earth and I ended up falling for him.



How fucking gullible and ridiculous you must be.

A guy only has to whisper empty words in your head and you lose all sensibility.

It's a good thing for the rest of us that you are the exception to the rule, and not the standard ... because we all bank on Virgos having common sense, which you lack in spades.

In your puny mind .. you think that just because you love this man, that it entitles you to getting pity strokes when you claim martyrdom. Somewhere in your small mind, you believe it's justifiable to play stupid, and forsake yourself if a guy makes false promises to you.


promises in which an intelligent person would easily recognize as bullshit .... but, not you, oh no .. you're too busy being proud of being disregarded, and believing it's love.


lol ... you're a joke, and another Virgo even came in here to comment on you being full of deception.



Posted by Tegaleg

.... and said he wasn't going to play mind games.

He asked if we could talk the following night and I asked him what was the point,

click to expand

He even realizes you play mind games .. and you go on to prove that you run cold on him when he tries to reach out to you.

You're not fooling me for a second ... but, you're more than welcome to find more memes as proof that you're not superficial
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Dreamer222?
@pooface222
9 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by MysteriousPresence
Posted by MiZLeo
Pisces men have this weird I care about you but don't love you thing. It's weird. Annoying. I dunno. They are hard to explain.
That's if we feel we're not with the right partner.
click to expand

What if it's the other way round?
For example. .He tells you he is in love with you - more than once - but goes ice cold on you, barely calls or texts and when you question him about being ice cold but being in love with you, his answer is 'I have trust issues.'
(My friend is going through this atm).
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boxcarmirnta
@boxcarmirnta
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Listen...if someone says you're his soul mate etc etc etc..he better WALK THE FUCKING WALK. Talk is cheap!! If he isn't willing to fight for you and be there for you etc then hes a game playing psychopath. When you REALLY love someone..you dont want it to end and you fight for them!! He is a mindfucker. And I am sorry he snared you. Cut your losses and find someone who means what he says.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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So, the consensus is in, according to the Pisces and Virgos who commented in here ...... you're the dipshit for rendering yourself so low and unimportant ... while he's the winner, since you're too dumb to realize what is in your best interest .. which is to have some integrity and step away from a bad situation.



so, the moral to the story is ....... your gripes describe yourself, and for christs sake grow some brain cells.
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Dreamer222?
@pooface222
9 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by MysteriousPresence
Posted by pooface222
To be honest, the guy my friend is seeing is in a r'ship but is attracted to my friend. My friend is (unhappily) married.
So maybe this guy is playing around??
He only told her he is in love with her earlier this year. They met about 3 years ago but it took her over a year to start flirting back with him.
Now he's gone cold on her sadly..now she is doubly unhappy •
If your friend is unhappily married then she should get a divorce. Flirting with someone else of the opposite sex while being in relationship or marriage is just wrong, imo, and can be considered as cheating.
click to expand

Sure..trust me I have told her it's wrong and she knows this. BUT the guy in question (who is also in a relationship), started it all off.
He came up to her and began talking to her. She was instantly attracted but did NOTHING about it because she is married. However things got worse between herself and her husband and she became lonely and very sad.
So unfortunately she started drifting towards the guy who was making her happy.
After 1 1/2 years he tells her he is in love with her. She said it back. But now he has gone ice cold and seems to have distanced himself from her.
She has no idea why. Or what she has done wrong. If anything ..
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BrightLight
@BrightLight
10 Years

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Posted by starwars
Posted by Tegaleg
when things were difficult for me he disappeared.
that was a red flag, but you're still clinging into him, regardless the fact that he was no good.

Posted by Tegaleg
He even froze me out for a week then turned the blame on me.
you either don't give him room for communicating- when you're the only one running your mouth and doing the blaming, they'd rather shut up only because they're done and don't wanna hear more or he's manipulating you.

Posted by Tegaleg
He asked if we could talk the following night and I asked him what was the point, he'd already made it clear he didn't want to be with me. He said he didn't want to leave things like that and would text me the next morning. No text. I rang him that night and asked if he still wanted to talk. He said he didn't think so.
I don't care how unimportant this phone call was, but its clear that he doesn't keep his words nor promises and think that its alright to be an asshole because you put up with him

click to expand

Sorry can't agree. If the @op said what's the point of talking then that's what was taken away from the conversation. I'm pretty sure that's why fishboy bailed on the follow up. Besides, perhaps the only reason he wanted to talk is to make the break up easier--to ease you out gracefully rather than swim away without a word. You might have to think about it that way.

It's hard, I know. But try to forget this fish. He appears to have let you go. I'm sure there is a very good reason for it. What did he say it was?
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Tegaleg
@Tegaleg
9 Years

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Thanks everyone for your help and advice. We talked and it's over. He says we're two different people?! This didn't bother him when we first met. Honestly it's been like banging my head against a brick wall. He was all take and no give. Too much entanglement with his ex wife as well who he's been divorced from for eight years. He also uses his children as a shield from anything that required him to be present and in touch with reality. He very much pulled me in then pushed me away on a regular basis. It's about realising your self worth and knowing when to walk away.
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BreezyOne
@urbane101
11 Years

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I'm sorry to hear all of this. He sounds a lot like me sometimes when I don't know what to do with someone, but this happened two years ago to me and I don't do that anymore (or do my best not to). In my opinion, he doesn't know what he wants. He probably does love you but doesn't have the maturity to figure out why and not force an answer. Also, the relationship that you two had could have been "too much too soon" so to speak, and so he needed some space to kind of get a grip on himself and recharge. It's hard to decide if you truly love someone when you don't have space (something I'm currently dealing with, except I'm the one that's on ice at the moment), and most of the time I try to use positive inflections in my voice when I speak. Emotions are real, and when someone asks me something I try to respond in a way that would reassure them, not just with words, but SOUND as well. Does this all make sense?

When he had said he needed time to think, maybe he really DID need time to think and he was communicating his message, but didn't pay attention to HOW he said it which probably hurt you in the end. Love is hard. When someone tells me they love me, unless I've known them for a while, I always think "really? do you? how can you be so sure?" which probably bites me in the a $ $ more often than not. That's a HUGE thing for me, and after hearing it I need some time to emotionally ready myself to let you in. It could take days, or maybe a week but if I liked you enough before, I usually reciprocate after time. I hope I'm making some sense...
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Tegaleg
@Tegaleg
9 Years

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When he had said he needed time to think, maybe he really DID need time to think and he was communicating his message, but didn't pay attention to HOW he said it which probably hurt you in the end. Love is hard. When someone tells me they love me, unless I've known them for a while, I always think "really? do you? how can you be so sure?" which probably bites me in the a $ $ more often than not. That's a HUGE thing for me, and after hearing it I need some time to emotionally ready myself to let you in. It could take days, or maybe a week but if I liked you enough before, I usually reciprocate after time. I hope I'm making
some sense....

Thank you so much!! You are making sense, completely. I've made a conscious decision to not contact him for a while. I think we both need time away from each other, but I'm finding it so hard as we were in contact every day up until last week. I suppose, selfishly, I want him to miss me and wonder why I'm not reaching out to him first which i always did. Hugs to you...I hope things work out your way x
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
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Posted by Tegaleg

it's been like banging my head against a brick wall.

He was all take and no give.

Too much entanglement with his ex wife as well who he's been divorced from for eight years.

He also uses his children as a shield from anything that required him to be present and in touch with reality.

He very much pulled me in then pushed me away on a regular basis.

It's about realising your self worth and knowing when to walk away.


Image Not Found


Posted by Tegaleg

I want him to miss me and wonder why I'm not reaching out to him first

click to expand



You just want to be validated .. because you lack the wisdom to know what is right.
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BrightLight
@BrightLight
10 Years

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All take and no give? Hmm...perhaps you should re-evaluate your perception here. Really think about this and what transpired even if just to learn from it. I have yet to meet a Pisces that is all take and no give. I mean does that even exist in the Pisces universe? It's usually the other way around. My guess is maybe you overlooked what the giving looked like and judged it based on what you thought it should look like. Just think on that.

I get it. Rejection is hard but don't let it blind you to your part in the equation. Thinking about that could open up vistas in your next relationship.
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Tegaleg
@Tegaleg
9 Years

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@ BrightLight

You've been lucky! Relationships are equal parts give and take. One person can't always give while the other one takes and that, unfortunately, is exactly what he did. My perception doesn't need reevaluated....I think his does. As for my part in the equation? I gave him nothing but love, affection, time, help & understanding. All of which were thrown back in my face. I appreciate what you've said. I really do. But I've lived it with him, you haven't.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Posted by Tegaleg

I gave him nothing but love, affection, time, help & understanding.



You really don't realize how ridiculous you are.

We all know it takes two to tango .. but, you keep on making yourself look like a fool by saying these things.

Because you'd rather be stuck in the mud, than open-minded ... you make a fight in where the only person who loses is you ... and the proof of that is in the quote above.


to have that view, means you only consider yourself good enough .. which leaves no room for human error ... so basically, you're just sticking yourself up your own ass over and over and wondering why you keep getting butthurt. and instead of doing a self check to see where your part is in the fuck up, you just gloss it over to pacify your ego by attempting to demand that people ONLY believe that you are nothing but the above, while his being is everthing less than you.

And here you are pining and yearning to have this person that you rendered so low and less than a person than you (by virtue of you being all mighty and above humanity).

Real adults are in a constant state of self examinations to see where they are going, how they are going to get there, and fully analyze where they've been to make sure they make the proper adjustments for the benefit of their future.


Oh, but not The One who is described in the quote above ... for she never has to learn, or grow, or adjust her sails ... because, she is ...



Posted by Tegaleg

nothing but love, affection, time, help & understanding.

click to expand



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EvatheDiva Piscean
@EvatheDiva
10 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

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Posted by arose32
Posted by boxcarmirnta
Um..he sounds borderline. Never trust anyone who promises you the moon and stars at the very beginning...he sounds like he hooked you and now has you in his trap and can hurt you or say whatever he wants, gas light etc ....dude drop that mindfucker. Love is consistent. If you don't feel it, don't say it.
Please listen to this... I learned the hard way. He loves the power he have over you, not you... Happens to the best of us... Don't become a victim...
click to expand

Bingo! And I want to respond to "He's confused". Nope! Pisceans CAN be sarcastic because he likes to hurt and manipulate you (please, please, please read more into the zodiac sign for Piscean). It will help you understand the reasons why "we" are posting to tell you that it's over. I should know; I'm one (Piscean). As children we learned to manipulate our parents (every child does; but more for Pisceans because we had our parents on the palms of our hands)..i.e., I dropped to the floor (five years old) and would hit my head on the floor to get my way. My parents gave in...I would get my way. Growing up I KNEW this was WRONG! So I learned not to do that because it would get me in trouble at elementary, middle, high school, and work. Pisceans change and mature (men, uh, normally DO NOT; as you've heard that women mature faster than men...word!!).

Pisceans can be humble and kind, too. We don't and won't hurt someone IF we don't want to. Seems to me as if he is hurting you. When he promised to text you the next day that was his escape (reason NOT to do that). We are the type that YOU will wait for ME/US to respond back to you. Yeah, we need time (space) to think things over and I feel as if he is sulking (sticking his thumb in his mouth like a "child"). He's got some growing up to do.

🤗 cyber hug!

Love,

Eva
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tbird
@tbird
14 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

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"We are the type that YOU will wait for ME/US to respond back to you."

I will have to disagree on this one. I will say we rather have the ball in our court when it comes to conversations, but I don't have people waiting on me to talk, just because. If I have people waiting is because of below


"Yeah, we need time (space) to think things over"


P-Angel is being harsh again, but ignore the hate in the last post and really look at what she is saying. She IS speaking some solid truth. REMOVE your ego from this and truly LOOK at what happened. No one is perfect, no one is blameless... look inside yourself and see your role.

If you are unable to do this, well then no one can help you, not even yourself.