He wants me to apoligize and i say not yet

My pisces man is awsome. but we get into it sometimes. his kids came over on wednesday cuz the oldest shares his same bday. i work nights. I could not sleep because i got our home ready for them. they were initially supposed to stay at grndmas during the day while i slept but he procrastinated for six weeks and i got stuck with them at home. he said...baby its cool they will be quiet. i am pregnant with his baby now and i have become ultra sensitive to noise. he knows this. but i gave it a shot anyway. well i didnt sleep a wink. i was pretty upset. so thursday morninig i come home hoping to pass out soon as my head landed on my pillow. well to my surprise i found popcorn and candy stuck to our carpet. cake on the couch. my man said he would put all the food we had for dinner the nite b4 away after his kids ate. but he left it all out. we had a 3 corse meal and all spolied. i was furious. and one of his kids didnt follow instructions when i said please sit on the table to eat not the living room. well she snuck to the living room anyway. finally my man came home at 1pm thursday. i let him have it. and he thinks i got a problem with his kids visiting us. i was furious and sleep deprived and pregnant but he feels i went out way out of line with how nasty i treated him for my suffering and for not being cool that he let his kids run wild the night they came to ur home. oh did i mention he went to the jaccuzzi that night and all the wet clothes were all over the floor. their luggage all opened and everything all over the floor. i was mean and nasty all day. not to the kids. but to him hell yes. now what do i do? he thinks im to apologize!!!

He sounds like an airhead to me, Im not sure if you are going to get him to understand because he seems pretty inconsiderate and lazy as it is. The thing is, you see it as a big deal, he does not. So he is going to think you are over doing it. When you feel justified. You are both thinking on two different levels. He needs to understand your level of frustration and what is really bothering you. Its not the kids and what they did in the house. Its the fact that he was irresponsible and inconsiderate of not only your sleep, but the cleanliness of the household.

You got "stuck" with his kids?




This whole thing sounds fishy .. there must be more to it than you are saying here, that you are conveying here an angle in which paints our perception, biasedly in your corner.



Because this is a home in which you use the term "our" to describe, because you lead us to believe that the two of you live together .... which would equate to = he KNOWS your standards, he KNOWS how you would consider he respect you ... so, he wouldn't then pretend to be clueless as to why you'd be upset.


I would imagine that you being "stuck" with his kids came out in your words to him when you were irritated to say somethign to the effect of ..... "You never did this before, only when your kids are here do you treat our home like a pigsty".

^^^^^^^^ to say somethign like that is indeed making reference to suggest your irritation with his children ... it is leaving the impression that your resentment is with having to be "stuck" with his kids. It's obvious in your words here that you have zero interest in forming a relatinship with his children and think of them as pests.




You know what would have been lovely? Not mean and nasty?

To be excited and looking forward to the opportunity of having his children stay in your home with the two of you .. like a family. It would be a beautiful thing (would have been) to share with his children your pregnancy ... this is their sibling. To open your home and heart to these kids who probably don't get to see dad very often.

Instead ... I get the impression that you stood above them, like an authority figure, being irritated with them because you were inconvenienced.


"stuck"

wait a min i do have a son and a daughter and he is adopting both. he has a heart of gold. and this is not the first time his children come over to our home. but it has never been during the week. and my younger baby goes to daycare from 9-3 because i have to sleep during the day. when my man is done with his day he gets them home and we spend the evening together til about 730 or 8 when i go take a nap b4 i go to work. his kids come during the wknds. and we have a good time.... im not using this to look like "woe is me" the victom. i do accept his kids and as a matter of fact they already said they want to come live here when they turn 13. wether its all talk cuz they hate their mom or miss dad too much, they know i am not mean to them or dislike them. the thing is my man and i talked about it 6wks ago. he told me with out even having to request it, that his girls would stay at grandmas til 3pm. and about the mess, my kids make messes, sure they do....but, never has it looked like a circus came thru our living room. its like his own flesh had a whole dif set of rules. when i first met them he was living alone. i hardly ever saw them because he wanted to spend quality time alone with them. i respected that and never bothered him on wknds if they were over. when we got serious, i then got to meet them and i was speechless when i saw his apt..holy buckets it was a pig-sty. i had a flashback of it when i came home thursday morning to find our place looking very similar to that first time when i met his girls at his place. time goes on and so he moves in with me....his kids come over the first time....my kids were not there. i went grocery shopping and came back and they had made a huge mess of the toys within 2 hours. i mean it looked like a tornado came into my kids room and dragged it all the way out towards the hall and into the living room. I kept my cool....believe me i wanted to say something but i waited to see what he did. this was our place now so i waited. at the end of the day he did nothing. my kids came home and they were like: "what happened to our house!!!!" they even got shocked! so all 4 got together and cleaned up the tornado. I had a serious talk and told him i wanted him to set limits on how they acted. they are good kids, its him that wont put limits on them cuz he feels bad for not living with them full time. but he agreed and and every other time they came over it had been ok. we didnt spend too much time at home though cuz it was summe

because it was summer and we were always out having fun. but this time, it was nuts. its not that i felt stuck with the kids, its that i felt he could have been more responsible and planned their sitter situation better. he had 6wks to plan it. but at the last min he asks his mother and she declined. i am moody when i dont get enough sleep and on top of it all i have to be up all night working. i know i got carried away with my sharp tongue. its just i dont know now how to tell him im sorry. i just want him to validate my reasons for feeling this way. i know im in control of my emotions but dammit it would have never been this way if his mother had them for a few hours on thursday and friday. if they were living with us they would have sitting arrangements like at a daycare of something. just like my younger one has. but see if they were livin with us, they would have been at school those three days. they are 9 and 11. my man is sad and i am sad now too cuz i hurt him. but i just wish he recognized his part too. i know i was mean to him.

VG- yes i did express how i feel but i was cooler about it. i didnt want him to get embarresed. plus i never seen his place that way til the day i met his kids. i am not hardcore about my kids keeping a tidy place, but i do teach them how to clean up when they are done with with something. how would you like to have walked all over popcorn and stepped on slurpy juice and had your couches stained with chocolate cake. i was never raised like that, but im way more laxed then my mom...we were soilders when it came to chores and cleaning up after play time. and you see after having discussed things with my man when he first moved to my place i expected him to enforce those rules. why are the rules dif for my kids but for his its like "PARTY TIME!!!!" I want us to meet in the middle. i did trust that he would enforce the rules. but its been hard. he practically want me to be cool about it is what it sounds like to me.

As for my working nites, it is temp. i plan on going back to days after maternity leave. the incentives for working nites are great, and my man is in school full time, im supporting our family. i help pay for his child support. i wanted to do it because my mans heart is golden and he is a great man. but do i have to suffer or fear what his kids might do because he just wont discipline them? hey they are 9 and 11. shoot...i was doing chores at that age. but i think he may think they are too young for chores. i mean its just common courtesy to clean up after you play, especially if their not your toys, and technically they dont live with us full time. and what bugged me is that he didnt discipline them. i dont feel comfortable doin it cuz of the fact that they dont live with us. i feel its his responsibilty more then mine. i dont want to yell at them...
once i asked them politely not to sit in the living room while they eat their food. the 9yr old did not think that rule applied to her. and it happened on more then one occasion. so if they dont listen to me i feel like, ok, they need to listen to dad. but guess what...he lets it happen. so i look like the bad guy. i love my man i want him to be happy and have fun but its not fair that he wont meet me in the middle with the rules for his kids.

i dont normally yell at my kids either, but if i feel i have to get louder to get their attention, i do it cuz they are mine. and my man has authority over them as well. he is firm but not with his kids. i truly believe its cuz he wants to make up for not living with them full time. i know i need to control my sharp tongue, he's a pisces and i aries, i know he is way sensitive, so how and what can i do? thats one thing i do want to learn is how to be more like him on the sensitivity level.....we are always going to have issues. i need help in the biting my tongue part and not being so nasty when i xpress myself. one thing i dont do is do it in front of my kids. nor his. and i dont yell. i just use very mean words, and they aint cus words...but they hurt just as bad, if not worse. i know this and i want to change it.

Seriously .... you don't make much sense to me when I try to reason out why you say the things you do.

"wait a min i do have a son and a daughter and he is adopting both"

What does that ^^^^ have to do with this? And second, if you don't like how he allows children to run rampant without any guidelines .. then how is saying that above quote suppose to have some kind of convincing merits for us to see your complaints as credible?

You would say things about how he isn't doing his kids right by allowing them to be pigs and allowing them to disrespect your home .... and then drive your point across by using this as the first sentence of your reply?


::: scratches head :::


You went further to say that his kids come over on weekends often enough to develop a relationship with them, that they just don't come over on Wednesdays .. and what the fuck is that suppose to mean?

Do you honestly expect us women who have raised children to conclude that these kids will behave differently on a Saturday then they do on a Wednesday?

These kids behave differently when you are around (on Sat) then they do when you're not around (on Wed) .... and your own children are so regimed/disciplined that they would get upset over toys on the floor rather than in the box, and it is assumed that this is because they know full well what it means for mum to be mean and nasty all day.

I see now why you said you were going to be "stuck" with his kids .... because you will say nothing to him beforehand about his standard of living or how he treats he kids for you want the all of you to be tolerant and accepting because this is what is suppose to happen ... and you only want to let him know what you do NOT like or approve of by him recognizing your mood of mean and nasty, so he will have a desire to form a middle ground for you, and him, and the kids.

Like you said .. if only grandma had agreed to keeping the kids, then all this wouldn't have happened ..... maybe if you tell him that, he won't think you're trying to place blame elsewhere, like on his mother, and agree with you .. like a middle ground.

Before you can even begin to fix this issue, you have to first be able to recognize what the problem is ... that is, what the problem is on your end. You cannot fix him, nor change him .. he has already developed his traits and disposition, and can only grow change from his own desire to do so. The only person you can fix is yourself.


"I had a serious talk and told him i wanted him to set limits on how they acted. they are good kids, its him that wont put limits on them cuz he feels bad for not living with them full time. but he agreed and and every other time they came over it had been ok. we didnt spend too much time at home though cuz it was summer and we were always out having fun. but this time, it was nuts."


You have to fully comprehend here ^^^^ that he has done nothing to set any kind of limits with his kids because he doesn't want to, and nothing you say will make him change it. The reason why they behaved "good" the other times is because YOU WERE PRESENT to keep the little soldiers in line and not step a foot over this line. For some reason, you have in your mind that because you had this little talking to him about how he is suppose to be a father to his kids according to your standards .. that this means he changed himself to adhere to your wishes about how children are suppose to be raised.

You have to fully comprehend here ^^^^ that just because you want him to carry himself your way in his fatherhood, it doesn't mean he is suppose to do it. You need to realize this.

He has no obligation to be any person except himself, and if he doesn't want to give his kids any boundaries ... then you have to either accept it and keep your mouth shut, or swim.

If he allows you to control his kids (which obviously he does because they don't act that way on weekends, when you are present) .... then that's fine, but, you cannot expect him to adhere to you also, in your demands of how he is to treat his own children.


How much thought did you put into this before letting him plant his seed inside of you?

This whole thing just sounds fishy to me .... if each implication is taken seriously, then it doesn't add up when the whole picture is looked at.


"his kids came over on wednesday cuz the oldest shares his same bday. i work nights. I could not sleep because i got our home ready for them."


How does that ^^^^ make any sense?

did you have to wash the drapes or summat?

How could them coming over this day cause a situation in which robs you of sleep?

What is it you have to get ready exactly?

You make it sound like it was a gruelling chore and because of having this inconvenience, you were deprived of sleep, making ready.

Write down the phone number for Pizza Hut, pull out pillows and blankets, and put an extra roll of toilet paper in the loo ... 5 minutes.

" .. i got stuck with them at home. he said...baby its cool they will be quiet. i am pregnant with his baby now and i have become ultra sensitive to noise. he knows this. but i gave it a shot anyway. "



It sounds to me as though he had to convince you for his kids to come there .... he had to asure you that baby its cool .. and you gave it a shot anyway.


To say you gave something a shot anyway .. infers that you were in protest from jump, and had to be convinced that it was ok for his children to be in your home that day.


It's obvious to me that you think his children are interferring in your life. Funny .. on the Aries board, there was actually a discussion about how most Rams don't want to be bothered with children. They want to love them, but, that's it ... anything beyond that is an inconvenience.

I guess I really only have one question here, and would appreciate an honest answer here ...


"his kids came over on wednesday cuz the oldest shares his same bday"

"the night they came to ur home"

*********** this night was both his child and his birthday celebration night.


"my man said he would put all the food we had for dinner the nite b4 away after his kids ate. but he left it all out. we had a 3 corse meal and all spolied. i was furious. and one of his kids didnt follow instructions when i said please sit on the table to eat not the living room. well she snuck to the living room anyway."


*********** after his kids ate? Who is the "we" in we had a 3 corse meal that spoiled? Just you and him that didn't include the kids? Or, did you make a meal for them in which you weren't there to share? How did one of the kids sneak off into the living room to eat if you "we" had a meal?


********** so, you left? This was your man's birthday celebration and you left (with intructions for following of course).




"so thursday morninig i come home hoping to pass out soon as my head landed on my pillow"

"finally my man came home at 1pm thursday. i let him have it."

"he went to the jaccuzzi that night and all the wet clothes were all over the floor."


********** indeed, it sounds to me as though this was all a Wednesday happening .. this one day and night for dad, and children to share in the joy of a shared birthday celebration. To have fun, a party, chocolate cake, jacuzzi, popcorn .... and you left.




Where were you?



this ^^^ is my only question ... why weren't you there?

For 6 weeks, you said he deliberated over this ... has the thought crossed your mind yet that what he was waiting for was for you to decide to want to be with him and kids during their birthday celebration at home and this is why he failed to ask his mother to sit them?

Maybe he was waiting for YOU to want to be with them on this special day .. to make arrangements at work to have off to be with them.












His birthday celebration .... and you left.


And now bitch because there was evidence of this party that he had with kids.


Selfish Ram, don't you think?


I do.



So, why weren't you there? Are these people not important enough for you to move your life around for them?

Yet, you are important enough for you to be make sure you are mean and nasty all day long.

Oh my Lord this thread is making me a bundle of nerves. Poop and puke and chocolate cake.
Um... maybe I should rethink the kids thing and adopt a puppy with Aries. Ahhh!!!

wow. i guess i didnt keep my details in check. My man has dif rules for his kids now that he doesn't live with his children. I try to tell him that he should not have dif rules just for this reason. its like he is making up for not being with them full time. i told him there is no need for that but he wants to be the nice dad so they wont feel the pain of his abscence. (he works part time and goes to school full time btw). the reason why i need sleep more then ever is one: i work nites, and two: i have the hardest time sleeping during the day. i got laid off in december, got a job within the same hospital at a dif facility after 4wks, so i dont have the pto i would have needed to take that time off. anyways..... we made plans to celebrate that week-end. the plans for his children were for his kids to come to our side of town and stay with grandma during the day...simply because i need to sleep during the day and they were going to be staying with us starting wednesday.... the day of their birthday. My mans EX was supposed to meet my man and i early, around 10am that day. she dragged her ass until 6pm. at that time we had already eaten dinner, (my kids and fiancee and i) soon after is when his kids arrived. the point is all the times they come here to visit they have seen and heard of the rules. yes i understand he bent the rules because it was his daughters birthday. but if they would have come over early like they were supposed to, they would have cleaned up by bed time. instead he decided to have a party all night long and ofcorse everyone was too tired to do anything. but he left no instructions for them to clean up the next day, and like i said the younger one seems to have a hard time following the rules for whatever reason. yes maybe it was selfish on my part, but hey im in more need of sleep now then before. the problem here is we did discuss how things were to take place. why on earth wouldnt i have my 3yr old at home with me during the day if i could operate with out sleep—?? That is the main problem here....he knew he was supposed to have his kids out from 9-3pm so i can sleep. why—? because they were coming to visit during the week-day, wed, th, fri!!! those are days i need total silence to simulate the night time. a person who works nites knows how hard it can be to get good sleep, and for me being preggo its harder. i am rather fond of his kids, i am complaining about my fiancee because he all of a sudden forgets all the rules.

rules we both agreed on to to keep our home in peace. rules he helped put in place because of all the things he says about his up-bringing and how he was raising his kids with his ex b4 the divorce. but NOW....Its when things have changed. Why is it that they have dif rules? and yes another thing is my wrong doing. i never said i was innocent, i wanted advice on how to be more sensitive with him and his feelings. b4 him i never had a man tell me i was mean. i do love him and want to change my attitude.

I dont think the pregnancy helps you from being a bit more emotionally aggressive at times. I really feel he feels guilty and is afraid for his kids to hate him because of the divorce. Is their mother being cooperative and nice? Or annoying and cruel. This plays a big factor in the lives of divorced children. If the mother is constantly talking a lot of bad about the father, maybe he fears they will believe her instead of him.

thank you LP AND FLLMP AND IRISH.... I i really felt attacked by the other comments insinuating that i was the bad guy in the story. I made it a point to say what i did that hurt his feelings and how i felt he played a role in my attitude. well we did make-up, and i knew we would. i just have a really hard time taming my sharp tongue. like i said i have never been with a man so sensitive in my life. funny thing is when he does it he feels like its all my fault and i made him that mad to speak to me in a "nasty" tone. but for the most part we are fine. i think he is too damn sensitive. i mean wait til he meets all my family when we fly to chicago next year for a latin family re-union lol, doulbe wammy with my fire tendancies and latin attitude as he calls it lol. but i do love him and boy has it been hard this week to keep my mouth under control.

as far as the cleaning goes, he pitches in a bit. he told me he believes in sharing the responsibilites of house chores 50% /50% ....

sometimes that is not the case. his idea of cleaning and mine are not quite the same. but usually i dont mind cleaning up what he missed or decided not to do...so long as he helps to ease the load on me. but we have 2and a half bath. so we agreed that i would do the guest bath and the half as long as he cleaned our bed room bathroom. its now been a month lol. i refuse to shower there or pee for that matter. once he's done with school we'll be able to afford a cleaning service atleast 2x a month. but hell no i aint touchin our bathroom. o well....

thank you all for responding to my posts. til next time
T.C
A.L

lol

NO i do not yell at him in front of the kids, matter of fact i dont yell at all. you can hear it in my tone that i am very upset....and my body language but its always behind close doors. and about the bathroom, we had an agreement. i stick to my agreement and basically i EXPECT him to stick with his. me being a neat freak is not as anal as you all may think. but anyway i want him to learn that when we agree to something i aint goin to break my end of the deal. to me it looked like you -vt, and p-a just saw his side, like im the bad guy that screwed up everything and made my fiancee cry and my future step-kids miserable. not the case....not at all. i soaked in what you both said, and no i was not hurt by it, but it did seem that i was not hurt at all in this situation since you VT Say you all about the kids. when did i say i disliked them or that i didnt want them around. maybe you think im such the typical aries that selfish and cares less about anything or anyone but my feelings. why would i have said i would like advice on soft-speaking with my fiancee when we come to disagreements. i know what i did wrong, yet i still get looked at all in the wrong here by vt and p-a.

Look, people can read between lines ..


when you say things like you got "stuck" with the kids .... this is an indication that you don't want them there = reading between the lines.


It was evident to me when I read the OP that this was all about your dislike for his kids ... and he apparantly felt the say way. However, perhaps dislike isn't the correct word ... what's likely closer to the truth is jealousy.

You have a need to control .. for example, you said things like ..

"I try to tell him that he should not have dif rules just for this reason."

"i told him there is no need for that but he wants to be the nice dad so ...."


That ^^^^^^^^^ is being controlling = you telling him what he should or should not do as it pertains to his relationship with his children. And I get the feeling that because he does not do as you tell him he should do .. that this makes you jealous of his children.


"My mans EX was supposed to meet my man and i early, around 10am that day. she dragged her ass until 6pm" ..... "yes i understand he bent the rules because it was his daughters birthday. but if they would have come over early like they were supposed to, they would have cleaned up by bed time."

Kind of like that ^^^^^^^^ with the controlling attitude that is so bad that it makes you sound like you resent his children.

You make it sound like the kids are at fault for not coming over early as planned.



You are at fault for this whole mess you came in here to bitch about ... so that's why I make it sound like you are.

This whole upset you had was all your fault.



It was his birthday, it was his child's birthday .. and they had a party that went late into the night. You came home early, as you do from work .. and found a mess in the house that was evidence that they had a birthday party.

The majority of people who have parties that go late into the night .. do NOT, do NOT .. kill their happy, party buzz by stopping in the enjoyment to clean up their mess .. they wait until morning. So, they did what every normal person does ... they went to sleep.

You came home to a mess .. and flipped out because you are a control freak.


You flipping out is your fault.


The only thing he did was have a birthday party for his child .. that's all he did.


that's ............ ALL ............ he did.

I have a question.


You said that your kids go somewhere else during the day because you can't handle having them there because you need your beauty rest .... and I would assume since you don't trust your man, as you've made descriptions here that you don't trust him, then certainly you don't trust him to get your kids off to bed at night and to sit them while they sleep .. so, I would assume that your kids aren't there at night while you're working.

I'm pretty positive that your kids aren't there at night because when you described this horrible night in which your man and his children lived a moment in time happy without their authority figure breathing down their necks .. you make no mention of your own children being there (which btw: I bet they would have liked to live a little at this party) ....


so, if your kids are gone at night when you work, and they are gone all day while you sleep ... then when exactly are you a mother?

on weekends?

"he went to the jaccuzzi that night and all the wet clothes were all over the floor. their luggage all opened and everything all over the floor. i was mean and nasty all day."



"he cleaned our bed room bathroom. its now been a month lol. i refuse to shower there or pee for that matter."





I wonder how wet that bathroom is by now? And I'll bet you there are wet towels laying about.

Why aren't you mean and nasty about it? You don't sound mean and nasty, in fact, you make it sound very acceptable to you that is this bathroom is filthy.


It's because you resent his children, isn't it? That's the difference between him making a mess when they were there and him having a digustingly filthy bathroom, isn't it?

"yeah it is not about the kids really....they will not clean the house unless someone tells them too. not their fault. it is about her and him not sharing the same values in a home. and those different values being communicated to different kids...creating chaos."



For some reason, it is believed that he is at fault entirely here .... her assertions to his mess is being taken as though it is gospel, and she plays no part in this that is apart of the creation of his mess .... when in reality, she does play a huge part in this mess if she will allow a bathroom to stay filthy for a month and lead you to have belief of "him not sharing the same values in a home" .... how did this fly above you, lk?


You would stand a ground to defend, based off of your own difficulty in dealing with your step-children ... while not actually looking at this situation for it's own merit, and judging it according to your own.


Because any woman ... any woman ... who would let a bathroom in her home, regardless of who is using this toilet go a month being so disgusting that she isn't even using it ..... isn't instilling any valuable standards in regards to her home.

It's a complete contridiction ..... she will jump up and down, mean and nasty, because he isn't abidding by her standards of clean home? You mean clean home of a month gone by with a shitty toilet?

those ^^^^ values?


this flies over your head, and I'm not sure why .. I know you are more aware than that. As for Ms.P .. she has a thorn, so anything I say will be taken contrarily.



And it does have to do with the kids .... because the whole month prior when shit was growing in the bathroom, this filth was acceptable ..... but, as soon as popcorn is on the carpet, she has a kaniption (sp) fit.

So, food was left out !!!!!

Is he really suppose to think this is important with values and all, standards of her living .... while he has shit growing in his toilet and she doesn't even care?


Think about what it is ....... rather than what the tongue says it is. She says he is disrepecting her wishes ... but is he? Really?

Really?

he's allowed to grow shit .... but, not let kids clothes lay about instead of neatly packed in suitcase?


Think about that ........

I wonder what kind of values are being instilled in the kids .... when a bathroom in the house is allowed to grow shit ....... and this is perfectly ok, so long as there is another loo to use.

Right ... perhaps they should have thought about that before getting pregnant.


This is a case of being stupid and breeding it.


The future child is the one who suffers the consequences .... here this baby, instead of having two parents who have learned how to cohabitate harmoniously ... instead, it gets to have a guidance system of parental units being at odds with each other.

Over stupid shit ..... why in the hell do all these people fight over stupid shit?

And not just in here, everywhere.

what the hell is the matter with people?


Just today one of my in-laws called because her 15 year old tried to talk to her about smoking pot ..... and she flipped the fuck out, grounded him, took all this shit away from him, called all the family members to tell them in front of him so that she could scold him indirectly by letting him know how disappointed his whole family is in him .... literally, tried to killl his soul.


He wanted to talk, to communicate ..... and she put up a road block.

Now, he'll just do everything behind her back, and never tell her or lie to her.


Stupid fucking people .......

Right, because they never thought about communicating ... what a new concept.

Here's communication over issues in the mind of ignorants ..


Fuck it, it's not my bathroom ... hell will freeze over before I lift a finger to clean up his bathroom .. I'll use the one down the hall .. to him, I'll just be mean and nasty until he gets the hint.


Goddamn him, look at my carpet, I can't wait until he comes home so I can give him a piece of my mind ......... I'll just be mean and nasty to him all day, who gives a fuck if his kids are present and can pick up on my bitch-attitude.



You mean that ^^^^ kind of they will be fine so long as they communicate their issues?

btw .... when I said ... wtf is the matter with people .. it wasn't a question in place that required an answer, rather, an observation that people are fucked up.

It doesn't sound to me like it's worth it .. oh maybe to him it is because he has a woman who will not only cook a 3 course meal for him before she goes off to work, she will also clean the house, pay his child support ........ and since she's the one working full time, and is able to pay for things, I guess this would include that he gets provided for with everything ... like his deodorant, toothpaste, new shoes, cigarettes, gas money ..


Yeah, for him ... sounds like a great relationship, he only has to tolerate when she gets her bitch-on occassionally.


For her? I guess it would depend ... she is obviously a control freak, so if he allows her to have control over everything he does .. then yeah, it probably is a good one for her too.

"because you seem to not realize that humans will be humans"


Right, MsP ... because I never talk about humans and their behaviours .. so, obviously, I dont' seem to recognize that people are human since I never comment on it.


Great observation .....


Why don't you come out with the truth .... you answered because you wanted to get a dig in.


Other people are stupid, and would probably not know any different .... don't confuse yourself into thinking I am one of them. I fully recognize your subtexts.



:::: shakes head ::::