Hello my sweetheart Pisces. I need advice please.

How do I end a fling or whatever this is I'm having with my dear Pisces friend? I really don't know how it happened but a couple of months ago is when the fling started. I really enjoy our time together and he says I'm the best time he's had in a long time but I really don't want anyone to get hurt. Is it too late? Am I being paranoid? I want to save whatever is left of our awesome connection and friendship before something goes wrong. I don't want to lose him. He's super awesome.

Sigh...

We're both single. We have both just got out of relationships (his 5 years, mine was 3)

Just living in the moment really but we both discussed not wanting a relationship but that was before we started jumping each other's bones (lol). He did make the first move while watching movies.

That's what I was afraid of. 😢 I'm just trying to do the right thing. I know I'm just a friend with benefits type thing. I don't want to be. I'm a prude. I know. He's awesome and I don't want to hurt him. I need to know how to talk about it without being a total dork.

Thanks so much! Yeah I'm starting to like him more and more but I doubt he feels the same way beyond buddies. I'll talk to him soon. Just how to talk to him because I can be a little too blunt. My truth blurts are like Tourettes. Now we're able to have honest conversations but we never had a discussion about us which I'm worried about. Ok, I should just grow some sge balls and hope for the best.

The more I get to know him the more I do want him. I'm also not wanting to hurt or lose him.

I wouldn't try to end it... just because you are scared of him rejecting you for a relationship. Be honest, crabby. Put your heart out there. If you are developing feelings for him, express your vulnerability in continuing this and getting hurt in the end. Perhaps a step by step approach is better than an ultimatum or subconscious/roundabout act of withdrawing. You could always ask about exclusivity rather than relationship status....

As dj said, be sure of what it is you really want.

I don't want to assume but it sounds like you want to protect your feelings. Just try to avoid the classic Crab move of rejecting... before you're rejected.

Ok ok time to grow some balls and rip the band aid off but gently. Gulp. Thank you so much! I appreciate tge wisdom. I'm not really good at this stuff. I'm a very awkward chick.

Well, I for one don't agree but I am a fire sign so there you have it.

Why do water sign people and earth sign people always want relationship roadmaps? It drives me absolutely nutty. I don't know where this realtionship is going anymore than I know the winning lotto numbers.

Let's just see what happens. Yes, one or both of might get hurt but that would happen without this "come to Jesus" conversation.

When you do this to a person your force them to either tell you something that you don't want to hear or tell you something you want to hear in fear of losing you. Don't make me choose.

He just got out of a serious realtionship after 5 years now you are about to be all "so where is this going, are we in a relationship" and if he says no you are cutting off the sex you so freely gave.

If I were him I would look at you with my head tilted sideways like a confused dog who just used the bathroom on the carpet and doesn't understand why you are yelling.

But hey, maybe I am wrong and he will want to jump head first back into a relationship. He is a Pisces afterall.

That's an interesting view point. I'm just trying to do the right thing here. Maybe I'll wait?

Posted by djbuck1
Of course. Far better to listen to a female lion for advice on what to do about your male fish than to another male fish.

Good luck with that.

This isn't a contest or a competition she can listen no neither, either, take a little bit from both it doesn't matter.

I was just trying to get her to look at this from another perspective.

And FYI- A person is more than their Sun sign. For all we know, he could have a ton of placements in Aries like many Pisces do. Then this advice would be right on time, wouldn't it?

I think it's more along the lines of having a conversation about where they are at emotionally, as opposed to relationship status. Water signs really have to have clear communication and the sooner that is established, the better.

A Pisces male can float a situation in limbo better than any other sign... with maybe Cancer as a close second

Posted by djbuck1
Nice job Nala13.

This is your baby, now. Why don't you wax free with your advice on the Scorpio and Cancer boards too, since you're such an authority on water sign relationships?

Total waste of my time.

What are you talking about? This is my baby. I merely commented on a post. Yikes! You find fault with a differing opinion? Yup you Fishes really are bat shit crazy.

I am not an authority on anything. Why are you so invested in a realtionship that has nothing to do with you? You care an awful lot for an E-stranger. Bizarre, Yup you Fishes are really bat shit crazy. LOL

Listen, OP you can do what you want but trust me if this Pisces man has Aries in Venus, Merc or his Moon then it's a wrap and you have a ruined a perfectly good thing.

Posted by Nala13

Posted by djbuck1
Nice job Nala13.

This is your baby, now. Why don't you wax free with your advice on the Scorpio and Cancer boards too, since you're such an authority on water sign relationships?

Total waste of my time.

What are you talking about? This is my baby. I merely commented on a post. Yikes! You find fault with a differing opinion? Yup you Fishes really are bat shit crazy.

I am not an authority on anything. Why are you so invested in a realtionship that has nothing to do with you? You care an awful lot for an E-stranger. Bizarre, Yup you Fishes are really bat shit crazy. LOL

Listen, OP you can do what you want but trust me if this Pisces man has Aries in Venus, Merc or his Moon then it's a wrap and you have a ruined a perfectly good thing.

click to expand

My Pisces has Venus in Aries. I am a Cancer with an Aries Moon/Mars.... and I disagree with your opinion.

You don't seem to have a positive opinion of Pisces in general... or you wouldn't be describing them as bat shit crazy. Have you had a relationship with on that had Aries placements? How did that work out for you?

I just noticed you have an Aries Moon, dj! haha... how ironic

Posted by kissmygrits

... we both discussed not wanting a relationship but that was before we started jumping each other's bones (lol).

I have no clue why you lolled. Do you think it's funny that you're his slut?

Posted by kissmygrits

I know I'm just a friend with benefits type thing. I don't want to be.

click to expand

You don't want it .. yet, you open your legs to him.


::: shakes head :::


I hate hypocrites

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by Nala13

Posted by djbuck1
Nice job Nala13.

This is your baby, now. Why don't you wax free with your advice on the Scorpio and Cancer boards too, since you're such an authority on water sign relationships?

Total waste of my time.

What are you talking about? This is my baby. I merely commented on a post. Yikes! You find fault with a differing opinion? Yup you Fishes really are bat shit crazy.

I am not an authority on anything. Why are you so invested in a realtionship that has nothing to do with you? You care an awful lot for an E-stranger. Bizarre, Yup you Fishes are really bat shit crazy. LOL

Listen, OP you can do what you want but trust me if this Pisces man has Aries in Venus, Merc or his Moon then it's a wrap and you have a ruined a perfectly good thing.

My Pisces has Venus in Aries. I am a Cancer with an Aries Moon/Mars.... and I disagree with your opinion.

You don't seem to have a positive opinion of Pisces in general... or you wouldn't be describing them as bat shit crazy. Have you had a relationship with on that had Aries placements? How did that work out for you?

click to expand

Quite the opposite, both my parents were Pisces as was my grandfather and my oldest niece. I am quite fond of them. I have not dated a Pisces with Aries placements.

What is it with not being able to offer an alternate point of view? I got attacked, called a know it all for simply saying that I think she should wait to have this conversation.

Are only like minded thoughts welcomed on the Pisces board?


And for the record it is not I who think that most Pisces are rather unstable when it comes to emotions and relationships. Just like it is not DJbucks' opinion that Leos are know it alls. It is the opinion of the masses. I'm ok with it. His opinion of me has no bearing on who I am. Real talk.

He gets out of a 5 year relationship and because they slept together is now being given an ultimatum. Where dey do dat at?

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by kissmygrits

... we both discussed not wanting a relationship but that was before we started jumping each other's bones (lol).

I have no clue why you lolled. Do you think it's funny that you're his slut?

Posted by kissmygrits

I know I'm just a friend with benefits type thing. I don't want to be.

You don't want it .. yet, you open your legs to him.


::: shakes head :::


I hate hypocrites

click to expand

Hey P,

Don't forget the part about he has to now agree to be in a relationship with her or the legs are no longer open. Where is that thread about using sex as a weapon again?

::: shakes fist :::

I wish a man would try to use sex as some sort of bargaining chip. I can show you better than I can tell you. Hmph.

I'm laughing because the "not wanting a relationship" was a conversation we had a few months ago before we started sleeping with each other. I had feelings for him when he made the first move. We have been hanging out for a while before everything started. Just clarifying. If you think of me as a hypocrite so be it. I think I'm a relationship rookie though. I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a lot of respect for him and take this (whatever this is) seriously.

Posted by Nala13
Hey P,

Don't forget the part about he has to now agree to be in a relationship with her or the legs are no longer open. Where is that thread about using sex as a weapon again?

::: shakes fist :::

You're ruining the band, Yoko.



OP set no contingencies; you suggested it, when you tried to frighten her into keeping her mouth shut.

Nothing wrong with a status check in the relationship-- and it IS a relationship-- the nature of it simply has not yet been defined.

😉

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Nala13
Hey P,

Don't forget the part about he has to now agree to be in a relationship with her or the legs are no longer open. Where is that thread about using sex as a weapon again?

::: shakes fist :::

You're ruining the band, Yoko.



OP set no contingencies; you suggested it, when you tried to frighten her into keeping her mouth shut.

Nothing wrong with a status check in the relationship-- and it IS a relationship-- the nature of it simply has not yet been defined.

😉

click to expand

The old me would unsheathe right about now and enjoy it but I am alot wiser then when I first came here so I am going to ignore your slight. You will learn wisdom too the longer you stay here. Learn to pick your battles. You can't go to war over everything with everyone, you don't have the reserves.

You don't have to agree with me you are certainly entitled to your opinion. I think that is the difference here. Perhaps, it's age, experience or simply life. I can agree to disagree without attacking or name calling.

I did not attempt to frighten her into anything. That's a bit of an exaggeration, then again you are a Leo and I am told, that's what we do.

She is an adult and can make any decision she wants.

A relationship conversation was had. The outcome was not satisfactory. You willingly progress into a FWB situation and now that is no longer meeting your needs you want to revisit the relationship conversation and if the outcome is not again satisfactory you will terminate the FWB situation. This not right and I don't care what anyone says. Right is right and what she is about to do is very unfair to this Pisces man.

FYI- The band may or may not have been ruined. All in all some very successful solo careers were born. Sometimes, it is simply time to move on.

Like I'm about to do from this thread. 😉

I dont think this conversation turns out well for you, Pipi.
Why not back off a bit and cut the sex part and hang out like friends?
I tried to talk about feelings with a Pisces I like a lot (with Aries venus). Didnt go well.
They are scared to death by these conversations, if things are not clear for themselves in the first place.
And you wont ever get an honest answer. Let it be. Life will tell.

Thanks everyone! Just needed some different view points. I'm going to ride it out. I'm holding off on any heart to hearts because I could see him heading for the hills while leaving skid marks. I've decided to step back and be alone to think about things or stay busy to keep my mind occupied.

Two weeks since I've seen him. We've only texted each other and that is becoming less. I really miss him but I see what is happening and will just let him go. I'll just remember the good times.

Yeah it was my deepest fear but hey I can't take it personally. I have to keep moving for my sake.

Update: We're now playing that game everyone loves called "Hey! I miss you! Let's meet up and catch up! Then turn around and cancel." Oh yay!

Then he probably doesn't. So I'm not going to waste my time.

Posted by djbuck1
Okay. Now hold on. Deep breath.

You don't know how he feels. I doubt if he knows how you feel.

As I suspected, you are in a much different "place" than you originally described. Not a problem.

This is a different conversation. Much different.

This could be very straightforward. If he is of the same mind you are, then you are in a relationship and "off to the races" as I say. Yay for you both! :-)

Clearly, you need to have a talk. Pisces males spook easily, so you are definitely going to have to rein-in your bluntness. Gentle firmness and a soft voice. That's the ticket.

I think you need to take a risk. You need to put yourself out there a bit. You need to tell him that you're happy with what has happened, and that you'd like to continue the new relationship and see where it goes. Does he feel the same way?

Don't ask for or expect more at this point, but be SURE to cover everything in the last two sentences, above, and use these words:

You're happy with what has happened, and you'd like to continue the new relationship and see where it goes. Does he feel the same way?

He needs to say "yes" or "no." None of our fishy evasiveness. Again, if you get a "yes" congratulations. If he says "no," then be clear that you are back to "friends only" with no sex-- NOT as punishment, but because that is not the nature of the relationship.

If he wiggles and won't answer clearly, end the talk with, "Okay. Take some time to think about it, but I need to know. Until then, we're friends." If he hasn't gotten back to you with an answer within two or three days (assuming he isn't legitimately busy), ask him. At that point, if he keeps prevaricating, you are "friends only."

@djbuck1: wow, u amazed me with ur advises, their very much on the point! +10000000

@kissmygrits: Off topic here, but are you from Sweden?

Sweden is awesome but I'm from 'MERICA.

Oki, I was just wondering because you have the "original" Pippi in your avi.

Childhood favorite. I didn't know there was another version.