Im sending a confession. Putting this to an end. Would like some input (Pisces Saga)

Posted by WaterDevil
So Iv decided after she came over last night to make me food, that I cant pretend be her friend anymore. After a week of self reflection. I decided to be honest with her..

Would appreciate insight....



"So now that I'm sober I need to be honest about something.

I realized last night that Iv been in denial that I still have feelings for you. Hence my constant change of behavior. It limits my ability to be ? a friend. I feel extremely connected to you and so when I get in my head about it last night and in turn emotionally disconnected. And I feel extremely guilty for potentially putting that negative energy on to you. I think the lack of communication about this is my fault. Iv been lying to my self and telling my self we are just friends. But I just don't see you as just my friend. But I want nothing more than that. I just need to self care rn. And probably distance a little as far as hanging out. I want an honest friendship from you. But I can't do that while I'm around you. At least one on one for a little while... I really don't want to put that on you.

I pretend it doesn't exist but than you are there and it does. And I get weird because I'm in my head instead of Just talking about it. But I'd like to break that cycle because I'm not at all making for a healthy friend. I don't like to shut down. And I do when I'm around you. And I hate it. The Baltimore trip for example did start out as something I was just supposed to be two friends going on a trip together. But it turned out to be yet another day where I found my self falling you and denying it. And it was one of the most fun days Iv ever had. My feelings just arn't your burden and I don't want to be a fake friend with hidden feelings. It's not right. "

Posted by WaterDevil
So Iv decided after she came over last night to make me food, that I cant pretend be her friend anymore. After a week of self reflection. I decided to be honest with her..

Would appreciate insight....



"So now that I'm sober I need to be honest about something.

I realized last night that Iv been in denial that I still have feelings for you. Hence my constant change of behavior. It limits my ability to be ? a friend. I feel extremely connected to you and so when I get in my head about it last night and in turn emotionally disconnected. And I feel extremely guilty for potentially putting that negative energy on to you. I think the lack of communication about this is my fault. Iv been lying to my self and telling my self we are just friends. But I just don't see you as just my friend. But I want nothing more than that. I just need to self care rn. And probably distance a little as far as hanging out. I want an honest friendship from you. But I can't do that while I'm around you. At least one on one for a little while... I really don't want to put that on you.

I pretend it doesn't exist but than you are there and it does. And I get weird because I'm in my head instead of Just talking about it. But I'd like to break that cycle because I'm not at all making for a healthy friend. I don't like to shut down. And I do when I'm around you. And I hate it. The Baltimore trip for example did start out as something I was just supposed to be two friends going on a trip together. But it turned out to be yet another day where I found my self falling you and denying it. And it was one of the most fun days Iv ever had. My feelings just arn't your burden and I don't want to be a fake friend with hidden feelings. It's not right. "

Posted by tcta

Posted by WaterDevil
So Iv decided after she came over last night to make me food, that I cant pretend be her friend anymore. After a week of self reflection. I decided to be honest with her..

Would appreciate insight....



"So now that I'm sober I need to be honest about something.

I realized last night that Iv been in denial that I still have feelings for you. Hence my constant change of behavior. It limits my ability to be ? a friend. I feel extremely connected to you and so when I get in my head about it last night and in turn emotionally disconnected. And I feel extremely guilty for potentially putting that negative energy on to you. I think the lack of communication about this is my fault. Iv been lying to my self and telling my self we are just friends. But I just don't see you as just my friend. But I want nothing more than that. I just need to self care rn. And probably distance a little as far as hanging out. I want an honest friendship from you. But I can't do that while I'm around you. At least one on one for a little while... I really don't want to put that on you.

I pretend it doesn't exist but than you are there and it does. And I get weird because I'm in my head instead of Just talking about it. But I'd like to break that cycle because I'm not at all making for a healthy friend. I don't like to shut down. And I do when I'm around you. And I hate it. The Baltimore trip for example did start out as something I was just supposed to be two friends going on a trip together. But it turned out to be yet another day where I found my self falling you and denying it. And it was one of the most fun days Iv ever had. My feelings just arn't your burden and I don't want to be a fake friend with hidden feelings. It's not right. "

it's ok, it's a good thing for you - did you say these things to her or are you just getting your thoughts out

click to expand

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by WaterDevil
So Iv decided after she came over last night to make me food, that I cant pretend be her friend anymore. After a week of self reflection. I decided to be honest with her..

Would appreciate insight....



"So now that I'm sober I need to be honest about something.

I realized last night that Iv been in denial that I still have feelings for you. Hence my constant change of behavior. It limits my ability to be ? a friend. I feel extremely connected to you and so when I get in my head about it last night and in turn emotionally disconnected. And I feel extremely guilty for potentially putting that negative energy on to you. I think the lack of communication about this is my fault. Iv been lying to my self and telling my self we are just friends. But I just don't see you as just my friend. But I want nothing more than that. I just need to self care rn. And probably distance a little as far as hanging out. I want an honest friendship from you. But I can't do that while I'm around you. At least one on one for a little while... I really don't want to put that on you.

I pretend it doesn't exist but than you are there and it does. And I get weird because I'm in my head instead of Just talking about it. But I'd like to break that cycle because I'm not at all making for a healthy friend. I don't like to shut down. And I do when I'm around you. And I hate it. The Baltimore trip for example did start out as something I was just supposed to be two friends going on a trip together. But it turned out to be yet another day where I found my self falling you and denying it. And it was one of the most fun days Iv ever had. My feelings just arn't your burden and I don't want to be a fake friend with hidden feelings. It's not right. "

Well, what did she say? I'm in suspense!





cyber hugs!


Love,


Eva

click to expand

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by WaterDevil
So Iv decided after she came over last night to make me food, that I cant pretend be her friend anymore. After a week of self reflection. I decided to be honest with her..

Would appreciate insight....



"So now that I'm sober I need to be honest about something.

I realized last night that Iv been in denial that I still have feelings for you. Hence my constant change of behavior. It limits my ability to be ? a friend. I feel extremely connected to you and so when I get in my head about it last night and in turn emotionally disconnected. And I feel extremely guilty for potentially putting that negative energy on to you. I think the lack of communication about this is my fault. Iv been lying to my self and telling my self we are just friends. But I just don't see you as just my friend. But I want nothing more than that. I just need to self care rn. And probably distance a little as far as hanging out. I want an honest friendship from you. But I can't do that while I'm around you. At least one on one for a little while... I really don't want to put that on you.

I pretend it doesn't exist but than you are there and it does. And I get weird because I'm in my head instead of Just talking about it. But I'd like to break that cycle because I'm not at all making for a healthy friend. I don't like to shut down. And I do when I'm around you. And I hate it. The Baltimore trip for example did start out as something I was just supposed to be two friends going on a trip together. But it turned out to be yet another day where I found my self falling you and denying it. And it was one of the most fun days Iv ever had. My feelings just arn't your burden and I don't want to be a fake friend with hidden feelings. It's not right. "

Well, what did she say? I'm in suspense!





cyber hugs!


Love,


Eva

I didn''t send it yet. Im conflicted.

click to expand

Posted by Fortuna
If this were me in this situation, I would have slowly limited contact to none. Kept busy, or pretended to be too busy to hang out anyway.


Then I would have given myself time to think about things without having contact (because seeing her clouds your judgment).


(Friends don't need to contact each other every day or weekly or monthly. I have friends where we only see each other every couple of months, some of these friends I would trust my life with, just showing you that there is a possibility of a deep friendship without having daily or monthly contact.)


I think writing the confession puts a strain on the connection. It also forces her to react and if she was oblivious to your feelings not changing, after you told her the first time, then it could be a shock because at this point you've already let it go too far.


Next time, have some self-preservation and try to work things out early on, otherwise you'll land yourself in a situation like this one.


Let us know, how she responds. Good luck. ?

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by Fortuna
If this were me in this situation, I would have slowly limited contact to none. Kept busy, or pretended to be too busy to hang out anyway.


Then I would have given myself time to think about things without having contact (because seeing her clouds your judgment).


(Friends don't need to contact each other every day or weekly or monthly. I have friends where we only see each other every couple of months, some of these friends I would trust my life with, just showing you that there is a possibility of a deep friendship without having daily or monthly contact.)


I think writing the confession puts a strain on the connection. It also forces her to react and if she was oblivious to your feelings not changing, after you told her the first time, then it could be a shock because at this point you've already let it go too far.


Next time, have some self-preservation and try to work things out early on, otherwise you'll land yourself in a situation like this one.


Let us know, how she responds. Good luck. ?

It hasn't been that long that we have been friends. I don't think this will be too much of a shock to her. I just don't think its right to just disappear. I want to be her friend not play games and if im not honest and distance my self i feel like ill be repeating bad habits. Its limiting our ability to truly have friendship. And I care too much to just ghost. She knows something is up. Not to mention Im preforming at an event she is going to at the end of the month thats for a mutual friend/acquaintance.

click to expand

Posted by tcta

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by Fortuna
If this were me in this situation, I would have slowly limited contact to none. Kept busy, or pretended to be too busy to hang out anyway.


Then I would have given myself time to think about things without having contact (because seeing her clouds your judgment).


(Friends don't need to contact each other every day or weekly or monthly. I have friends where we only see each other every couple of months, some of these friends I would trust my life with, just showing you that there is a possibility of a deep friendship without having daily or monthly contact.)


I think writing the confession puts a strain on the connection. It also forces her to react and if she was oblivious to your feelings not changing, after you told her the first time, then it could be a shock because at this point you've already let it go too far.


Next time, have some self-preservation and try to work things out early on, otherwise you'll land yourself in a situation like this one.


Let us know, how she responds. Good luck. ?

It hasn't been that long that we have been friends. I don't think this will be too much of a shock to her. I just don't think its right to just disappear. I want to be her friend not play games and if im not honest and distance my self i feel like ill be repeating bad habits. Its limiting our ability to truly have friendship. And I care too much to just ghost. She knows something is up. Not to mention Im preforming at an event she is going to at the end of the month thats for a mutual friend/acquaintance.

you have to tell her where your head is at so she knows the deal - and she will understand if you wish to keep it at some sort of a distance - and that it doesn't mean it always has to stay that way but you seem tentative due to your feels and not knowing if she is there as well or where she is at that - keep it fair and stay friends but clear in communication - baby steps, don't overthink things and keep it balanced

click to expand

Posted by Gemitati
@wayersevil

It would help you so much if you knew what is that you really want.

Posted by LePetitFisk
That is incredibly honest and extremely courageous. To face it head-on instead of that laughable crab side-stepping. Even if the friendship crumbles due to your emotional attachment, know that you will atleast have her respect all the way to end... if I were in her position, I would still have a high opinion of you.

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by tcta

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by Fortuna
If this were me in this situation, I would have slowly limited contact to none. Kept busy, or pretended to be too busy to hang out anyway.


Then I would have given myself time to think about things without having contact (because seeing her clouds your judgment).


(Friends don't need to contact each other every day or weekly or monthly. I have friends where we only see each other every couple of months, some of these friends I would trust my life with, just showing you that there is a possibility of a deep friendship without having daily or monthly contact.)


I think writing the confession puts a strain on the connection. It also forces her to react and if she was oblivious to your feelings not changing, after you told her the first time, then it could be a shock because at this point you've already let it go too far.


Next time, have some self-preservation and try to work things out early on, otherwise you'll land yourself in a situation like this one.


Let us know, how she responds. Good luck. ?

It hasn't been that long that we have been friends. I don't think this will be too much of a shock to her. I just don't think its right to just disappear. I want to be her friend not play games and if im not honest and distance my self i feel like ill be repeating bad habits. Its limiting our ability to truly have friendship. And I care too much to just ghost. She knows something is up. Not to mention Im preforming at an event she is going to at the end of the month thats for a mutual friend/acquaintance.

you have to tell her where your head is at so she knows the deal - and she will understand if you wish to keep it at some sort of a distance - and that it doesn't mean it always has to stay that way but you seem tentative due to your feels and not knowing if she is there as well or where she is at that - keep it fair and stay friends but clear in communication - baby steps, don't overthink things and keep it balanced

Do you like what I wrote? Would you change anything?

click to expand

Posted by Fortuna

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by Fortuna
If this were me in this situation, I would have slowly limited contact to none. Kept busy, or pretended to be too busy to hang out anyway.


Then I would have given myself time to think about things without having contact (because seeing her clouds your judgment).


(Friends don't need to contact each other every day or weekly or monthly. I have friends where we only see each other every couple of months, some of these friends I would trust my life with, just showing you that there is a possibility of a deep friendship without having daily or monthly contact.)


I think writing the confession puts a strain on the connection. It also forces her to react and if she was oblivious to your feelings not changing, after you told her the first time, then it could be a shock because at this point you've already let it go too far.


Next time, have some self-preservation and try to work things out early on, otherwise you'll land yourself in a situation like this one.


Let us know, how she responds. Good luck. ?

It hasn't been that long that we have been friends. I don't think this will be too much of a shock to her. I just don't think its right to just disappear. I want to be her friend not play games and if im not honest and distance my self i feel like ill be repeating bad habits. Its limiting our ability to truly have friendship. And I care too much to just ghost. She knows something is up. Not to mention Im preforming at an event she is going to at the end of the month thats for a mutual friend/acquaintance.

Ah, I see. I thought this had been going on longer / had more history.


Just as a note, I did want to say that I wasn't suggesting you to ghost, just busy yourself; and I don't think it's playing games, if you need time to yourself to sort things out.


And, going back to the friendship thing, you can still have that, at a distance. In my previous post, I mentioned I had friends where I saw 4-6 times a year and they are deep connections. These friends also live in my area.


In retrospect, if you have mutual friends, then that could have been an opportunity to only spend time together in a group instead of one on one.

click to expand

Posted by tcta

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by tcta

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by Fortuna
If this were me in this situation, I would have slowly limited contact to none. Kept busy, or pretended to be too busy to hang out anyway.


Then I would have given myself time to think about things without having contact (because seeing her clouds your judgment).


(Friends don't need to contact each other every day or weekly or monthly. I have friends where we only see each other every couple of months, some of these friends I would trust my life with, just showing you that there is a possibility of a deep friendship without having daily or monthly contact.)


I think writing the confession puts a strain on the connection. It also forces her to react and if she was oblivious to your feelings not changing, after you told her the first time, then it could be a shock because at this point you've already let it go too far.


Next time, have some self-preservation and try to work things out early on, otherwise you'll land yourself in a situation like this one.


Let us know, how she responds. Good luck. ?

It hasn't been that long that we have been friends. I don't think this will be too much of a shock to her. I just don't think its right to just disappear. I want to be her friend not play games and if im not honest and distance my self i feel like ill be repeating bad habits. Its limiting our ability to truly have friendship. And I care too much to just ghost. She knows something is up. Not to mention Im preforming at an event she is going to at the end of the month thats for a mutual friend/acquaintance.

you have to tell her where your head is at so she knows the deal - and she will understand if you wish to keep it at some sort of a distance - and that it doesn't mean it always has to stay that way but you seem tentative due to your feels and not knowing if she is there as well or where she is at that - keep it fair and stay friends but clear in communication - baby steps, don't overthink things and keep it balanced

Do you like what I wrote? Would you change anything?

I think it would be good if you try to tell her this in person - thus less words - basically it gets awkward for you because you are feeling more than just friendship - and you want to keep it on friendship level right now - so if there comes a time when you seem a bit distant it is for this reason ...

click to expand

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by tcta

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by tcta

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by Fortuna
If this were me in this situation, I would have slowly limited contact to none. Kept busy, or pretended to be too busy to hang out anyway.


Then I would have given myself time to think about things without having contact (because seeing her clouds your judgment).


(Friends don't need to contact each other every day or weekly or monthly. I have friends where we only see each other every couple of months, some of these friends I would trust my life with, just showing you that there is a possibility of a deep friendship without having daily or monthly contact.)


I think writing the confession puts a strain on the connection. It also forces her to react and if she was oblivious to your feelings not changing, after you told her the first time, then it could be a shock because at this point you've already let it go too far.


Next time, have some self-preservation and try to work things out early on, otherwise you'll land yourself in a situation like this one.


Let us know, how she responds. Good luck. ?

It hasn't been that long that we have been friends. I don't think this will be too much of a shock to her. I just don't think its right to just disappear. I want to be her friend not play games and if im not honest and distance my self i feel like ill be repeating bad habits. Its limiting our ability to truly have friendship. And I care too much to just ghost. She knows something is up. Not to mention Im preforming at an event she is going to at the end of the month thats for a mutual friend/acquaintance.

you have to tell her where your head is at so she knows the deal - and she will understand if you wish to keep it at some sort of a distance - and that it doesn't mean it always has to stay that way but you seem tentative due to your feels and not knowing if she is there as well or where she is at that - keep it fair and stay friends but clear in communication - baby steps, don't overthink things and keep it balanced

Do you like what I wrote? Would you change anything?

I think it would be good if you try to tell her this in person - thus less words - basically it gets awkward for you because you are feeling more than just friendship - and you want to keep it on friendship level right now - so if there comes a time when you seem a bit distant it is for this reason ...

Yes, but I really don't want to put her in a position where it feels like im forcing her to give me an answer. Thats not what I am trying to get out of this. I just want the truth to be out there. I dont want to side step. And I dont want to mince my words.

click to expand

Posted by LePetitFisk

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by LePetitFisk
That is incredibly honest and extremely courageous. To face it head-on instead of that laughable crab side-stepping. Even if the friendship crumbles due to your emotional attachment, know that you will atleast have her respect all the way to end... if I were in her position, I would still have a high opinion of you.

That's really nice to hear. thank you so much for saying that. I appreciate it so much, because i am so hard on my self. my venus in virgo fucks me up smh.

Regardless of sign, I believe nearly everyone appreciates candidness. If you two are as close as you sound, it's going to sting quite a bit on her end to lose such a support like you. But one of the great things about 2 water signs is their ability to sympathize with each other's feelings.


You seems like great person, i really do hope things work out for you.

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Posted by nats
Tell her this in person. Just come clean about how you feel and explain you just need some time and space to get over your feelings so that you can have a proper friendship.

Posted by nats
I think don't bare your soul and give a 5 minute speech on your feelings. But just be honest. I think whether the outcome is good or bad at least it's on the open and it's off your chest.


Definitely don't do it over a text.


If it stuffs up the friendship then maybe its a good thing. You can't be a normal friend when you're in love with her. It's torture to your own damn self and it's like living a lie in a way. Being her friend etc hanging out when inside you have these deep, intense feelings and all you want to do is get her in your arms and tell her you love her.


I couldn't live with that.. but that's just me.

Posted by WaterDevil
BTW @evathediva here is her chart vs mine.....


hers:

SUN - Pisces

moon- libra

mercury: aqua

venus: taurus

mars: pisces

jupiter:cap

saturn: pisces

uranus: aqua

neptune: cap

pluto:sag

lilith: cancer

node: lib


mine:

SUN:

moon:sag

merc: leo

venus: virgo

mars: virgo

jupiter: leo

saturn: aqua

uranus: cap

neptune: cap

pluto: scorpio

lilith: cap

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by WaterDevil
BTW @evathediva here is her chart vs mine.....


hers:

SUN - Pisces

moon- libra

mercury: aqua

venus: taurus

mars: pisces

jupiter:cap

saturn: pisces

uranus: aqua

neptune: cap

pluto:sag

lilith: cancer

node: lib


mine:

SUN:

moon:sag

merc: leo

venus: virgo

mars: virgo

jupiter: leo

saturn: aqua

uranus: cap

neptune: cap

pluto: scorpio

lilith: cap

click to expand

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by WaterDevil
BTW @evathediva here is her chart vs mine.....


hers:

SUN - Pisces

moon- libra

mercury: aqua

venus: taurus

mars: pisces

jupiter:cap

saturn: pisces

uranus: aqua

neptune: cap

pluto:sag

lilith: cancer

node: lib


mine:

SUN:

moon:sag

merc: leo

venus: virgo

mars: virgo

jupiter: leo

saturn: aqua

uranus: cap

neptune: cap

pluto: scorpio

lilith: cap

?

click to expand

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by WaterDevil
BTW @evathediva here is her chart vs mine.....


hers:

SUN - Pisces

moon- libra

mercury: aqua

venus: taurus

mars: pisces

jupiter:cap

saturn: pisces

uranus: aqua

neptune: cap

pluto:sag

lilith: cancer

node: lib


mine:

SUN:

moon:sag

merc: leo

venus: virgo

mars: virgo

jupiter: leo

saturn: aqua

uranus: cap

neptune: cap

pluto: scorpio

lilith: cap

?

You start w/the sun sign....what is yours again?


cyber hugs!


Love,


Eva

click to expand

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by WaterDevil
BTW @evathediva here is her chart vs mine.....


hers:

SUN - Pisces

moon- libra

mercury: aqua

venus: taurus

mars: pisces

jupiter:cap

saturn: pisces

uranus: aqua

neptune: cap

pluto:sag

lilith: cancer

node: lib


mine:

SUN:

moon:sag

merc: leo

venus: virgo

mars: virgo

jupiter: leo

saturn: aqua

uranus: cap

neptune: cap

pluto: scorpio

lilith: cap

?

You start w/the sun sign....what is yours again?


cyber hugs!


Love,


Eva

cancer

click to expand

Posted by pisceswoman123
I think you are doing good. ? You are good friends and she likes your company. She may feel the same way.

The guy I like won me saying things like: how lovely I look, how much he likes me, how he enjoys my company... telling me he loves me...slowly in different occasions. When you say it she will think about how she feels and you can get an idea.

But I think she must know... or are you a very good actor? I think she must see it in your eyes. Lol

Pisces are good at noticing that ?

Posted by MissGemmi
It's ok to be in your head. That's how you deal with things. Act how you want to act and try to listen to your feelings as well. If you believe that the message you want to send will give you some form of relief, then send it. Try to act as natural as possible. There's a reason why she wants to hang out with you, because she likes everything about you. If she doesn't want to take it further then it's not because she doesn't like you, but because she probably has her own personal reasons. So just be you!

Feel good about you and trust yourself that you make the best decision that will work in your and her favour. So you fell in love with her. Isn't that a beautiful thing? Isn't it something that would uplift her world? Having someone falling for you is a beautiful compliment for anyone to receive. She's at the receiving end and you are the giver of this emotional gift...